And We Did it When We Were Young
by Summer Rising
Summary: The Marauders: As four boys grow so does their friendship, and eventually, all their secrets will come out. Chapter 40: Peter worries over James and Sirius and their obsessions, Remus has a heart-to-heart with Sirius, James has his first Quidditch match, Sirius seeks revenge, and Lily gets her relationship with her best friend back on track.
1. Prologue

Eleven-year-old Remus Lupin was eating breakfast with his mother and father when someone knocked on the door.

Lyall Lupin glanced at his wife, who shrugged, just as confused as he. It was only 7:30 a.m., a bit early for door-to-door salesmen, the only unexpected visitors to the Lupin home.

Still, ever polite, Hope stood up and opened the door.

"Good afternoon," a pleasant sounding voice said. "My name is Albus Dumbledore. May I come in?"

Then a strange thing happened. Remus watched as his father's face drained of all color, and the wizard jumped up and slammed the door in the stranger's face.

"Lyall!" His mother gasped, scandalized at such treatment of a guest.

"Hide Remus," Lyall said urgently. "There's no time to explain."

"Huh?" Remus said, dropping his porridge spoon. For some reason, his mother followed the direction without question, whisking Remus away from the table and rushing him into the bathroom.

"In the linen cabinet dear, hurry," his mother whispered urgently.

"What's going on?" Remus demanded. He was a polite and soft-spoken child, but this was just madness.

"Please love, just be quiet now," his mother begged. Despite his confusion, Remus recognized the fear in her eyes and fell silent

"HOPE!" Lyall's voice called urgently from the kitchen.

"There's no need for such panic," Remus heard the stranger's voice carry into the bathroom, where his mother was still trying to shove him into the linen cabinet. It was no use – Remus was far too big. From the sound of footsteps, it sounded as though the stranger had somehow made his way into the house.

"Please, leave us," Lyall was saying, sounding desperate.

"Dear man, I do understand your concern, but you misunderstand why I'm here," the man called Dumbledore said. "If you would just let me explain…"

"Please just leave us in peace!" Remus was tense. He'd never heard such panic in his father's voice, not since that night…

"But then I'd be unable to deliver my message, and it's one you'll want to hear, I assure you."

"My wand, Hope, where is my wand?" Lyall shouted frantically.

"Really, just let me see your son, I assure you I mean him no harm. But do you really suppose you can get the better of me if it comes to a duel? Clearly you're aware of who I am."

"Why would you mean my son harm?" Lyall asked defensively.

Remus heard footsteps coming down the hall. His mother, realizing the linen cabinet was a failure, was squeezing him into her, as if trying to protect him with her body. Remus went cold. He knew what wizards thought of werewolves. He knew about the registry and he'd heard about vigilantes who took it upon themselves to target werewolves at their most vulnerable and exterminate them. Is that was this man was?

The bathroom door opened, and the stranger, who sported a long white beard and spectacles, kneeled down to Remus' level. His mother squeezed him tightly but it was no use – it was clear this man was a wizard and his Muggle mother could not protect him.

"Hello Remus," the man said softly. "Do you know who I am?"

"No," Remus responded, his voice barely a whisper. He tried to look around the man for his father, but he could not see him.

The man just smiled. "My name is Albus Dumbledore, and I'm the headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And I'm here because I'd very much like for you to attend next year, though judging from your parents' reaction I may have to do some persuading."

"Remus cannot attend Hogwarts," his father appeared as if out of nowhere. "He's too sickly."

"On the contrary, as I understand it, your son's condition is only a problem once a month," Dumbledore said firmly.

His mother gasped. "How do you – who are you?!"

The man just smiled again. "As I said, I'm the headmaster at Hogwarts," he told her.

Hope looked at her husband for confirmation.

"I have heard the unfortunate circumstances that fell upon your son," Dumbledore said. "And I am here, not to reveal this secret or do you harm, but to offer your son a place at our school."

Lyall eyed Dumbledore suspiciously. "What circumstances are you referring to?"

Dumbledore chuckled. "The fact that your son had an unfortunate run-in with a transformed werewolf as a child."

Remus felt his mother squeeze him again, and he felt a jolt of fear run through him. His fears had been correct. This man knew his secret. The secret his parents had so painstakingly tried to hide. The one that left them with little money, moving from place to place as to avoid strange questions and unwanted discoveries.

"But then you know that I'm a werewolf," Remus said to the man called Dumbledore. "I can't go to school with normal children."

The man just smiled back at him. "It's true, you are a werewolf," he said calmly. "But isn't it also true that you're a wizard?"

The boy was unsure of how to respond to this and looked to his father, who was staring at the back of Dumbledore's head with a peculiar dreamy expression on his face.

"You're serious?" His mother whispered. "You can really give him a place at school?"

Dumbledore turned to the woman and nodded. "I am entirely serious, Mrs. Lupin. I believe your son deserves an education, just like any other child in the magical world."

Is that really true? Remus wondered. Once a month, he became a terrible monster. Once a month, he howled and slobbered like an animal and ripped himself apart, just as he would rip everyone else apart if ever given the chance in that form. He did not want to hurt anyone else.

"Wouldn't it be nice," Dumbledore said gently, "to stay in one place for a while?" He addressed the question not just to Remus but to his parents as well.

It would be nice, quite nice. The Lupins hadn't stayed in one place for more than a year ever since the attack.

Lyall was shaking his head. "But his condition…"

"Is something I can make arrangements for," Dumbledore finished for him. "Mr. Lupin, I understand you're only trying to protect your son. But I assure you I'm more than capable of handling his accommodations."

"How did you find out?" Lyall whispered.

At this, Dumbledore lost the smile on his face. "I cannot go into great detail on that," he said. "But to summarize, in these dark times I am doing what I can do protect our way of life. Sometimes that includes associating with certain types of people, and placing spies among the darkest corners of our wizarding world. One such spy happens to have spent some time with a man named Fenrir Greyback."

"Owww," Remus' mother had dug her nails into his arm at the sound of the name. "Who is Fenrir Greyback?" He asked, rubbing his arm.

But the adults all ignored him. His father clearly understood Dumbledore's explanation, although Remus certainly did not. Remus filed the name away, to look into at a later time.

"So you'll really give Remus a spot at Hogwarts?" Lyall asked, sounding as if he couldn't believe it.

"Yes, if of course, that is what he wants," Dumbledore turned back to Remus, the smile once again on his face. "What do you think, Remus?"

The boy hesitated. "Are you sure I won't be able to hurt anyone?" He asked. He did very much want to learn magic. His father had promised to take him for a wand and teach him all he could, but that certainly wouldn't compare to an established education at a well-known institution. However, he could not bear the idea that his presence might put others in danger. He wasn't worth that.

"Entirely sure," Dumbledore said. "Now, why don't we discuss this in a more comfortable setting, perhaps somewhere other than the loo?"

/

"MUM!" Peter Pettigrew squealed excitedly. "The letter came! The letter came!"

"Of course it did, dear," his mother said fondly. "Did you expect anything else?"

The rotund little boy had privately nursed concerns for the last few months that he wouldn't be accepted - despite his mother's constant assurances that he had displayed some magical ability as a child and everyone was welcome at Hogwarts.

"Does this mean I can get a wand? And a cauldron?" He was beside himself with excitement. Hogwarts would be a fresh start from their life in the little Muggle village in the hills. It was a quaint enough place, and he loved his mother dearly, but the Muggle boys thought him a bit strange and the Muggle girls thought him rather gross - though his mother constantly assured him that that was the way all children viewed the opposite gender until around 13 or so. He longed for real friends - the kind that laughed and pulled pranks together - a gang that were always spotted together, no matter what the place or the time.

"We can go day after next," his mother promised him. "A wand of course. And books and new robes. Though I'd hoped perhaps you'd be interested in taking my cauldron? It's been in the family for generations and is still perfectly good."

Peter nodded furiously. Once he had a wand, he could begin practicing his spell work. He planned to make up for any deficit in magical ability with sheer hard work, and hopefully he'd be able to hide any shortcomings by practicing before he arrived at school. He was determined to make friends quickly - he didn't want to be the odd man out like he so often found himself.

He was a bit nervous about the sorting - his mother had been a Hufflepuff - he figured that sounded nice enough. But secretly he dreamed of being placed in Gryffindor - "where dwell the brave at heart." He doubted he stood much a chance being sorted into the bookish and clever Ravenclaw house, and Slytherin seemed to require a level of ambitious and cunning that he felt was beyond him. But he could learn to be brave and chivalrous - that was the kind of person he so badly wanted to be. And Hogwarts would be the way to become that person.

Peter had never known his father - the man had died just before he was born. His mother rarely spoke of him - it was too hard - but there was a picture of the two of them on the mantle over the fireplace. Mildred Pettigrew was just starting to get a big round belly, for she'd been pregnant will Peter when the photograph was taken. She was smiling up at her husband, and occasionally raised a hand to touch his cheek.

The man smiled back and when she reached up he took her hand in his and laid it on the side of his face. Sometimes the other hand would sneak down to her belly. They looked so very happy.

Peter had only recently discovered the nature of his father's death - he'd uncovered an old copy of the Daily Prophet.

 _Aurors have been called in to investigate after a wizard was murdered by use of the Killing Curse outside his office in Diagon Alley._

 _A Ministry spokesman identified the victim as 31-year-old Paul Pettigrew, who worked for as a liaison between parents of Muggle-born children and the rest of the wizarding world._

 _Pettigrew was found half past six, still wearing his watch and with his wallet in his pocket. Sources close to the investigation say robbery does not appear to be the motive. Other business owners in the area tell us Pettigrew was a friendly man._

" _Pleasant bloke, always up for a quick firewhiskey at the Leaky Cauldron. Often came in shopping with his clients and their children - wanting to ensure fair business on all sides," said Hebert Huffalump, who runs a newsstand outside Pettigrew's office. "Can't imagine anyone having a problem with him. Terrible shame."_

 _Officials have not identified a suspect at this time and are asking anyone with information to come forward._

When Peter first found the article, he finally understood why his mother barely spoke of his father. She'd probably felt it was too ghastly to discuss with a young child, and that he'd be frightened.

Indeed it was a ghastly discovery, and Peter was frightened to think that a killer once targeted his father and might still be out there. But he knew he must be strong for his mother, and be the man of the house that she had lost. So he'd resolved not to ask her about it, and instead to look for hints about his father when he made it to Hogwarts next year. Perhaps he was on the Quidditch team once, or won some award, or maybe some of the older teachers remembered him. He hoped to make some kind of discovery once he was at school.

But for now he was just excited to be going. He fell asleep that night with his Hogwarts letter on his chest.

/

"Sirius Orion!" The boy groaned when he heard his mother call for him. He'd been enjoying a bit of a lie-in on a rainy July morning, but it seemed that was over now.

He dragged himself mournfully from his bed and down three flights of stairs to the parlor, catching flack for his rumpled appearance from the family portraits as he walked.

"Yes, mother?" he mumbled, still groggy with sleep.

"Stand up and speak clearly, you disgraceful child," she chastised him. He chose to just glare at her from under his messy hair.

"I said, stand up!" She reached around and smacked him rather roughly on the back. Sirius grunted and straightened.

"Yes, mother," he said again, louder.

"Get dressed in something decent," she told him. "Your olive green robes with a black leather belt will do. We're going to Diagon Alley for your school things."

Sirius perked up immediately. "The Hogwarts letter came? Let me see!" He'd been dreaming of Hogwarts for years - ever since his cousin Bellatrix went and began regaling him with tales of the castle and her magical exploits. When he was younger, she used to sneak out her wand and show him all manner of fun spells - doing things like sending colorful smoke rings up in the air, turning slippers into rabbits, and making water appear out of thin air. But as she'd gotten older she'd lost interest in entertaining her cousin and when they came to visit she would ignore his begging for fun magic. Her sister Andromeda sometimes humored him, but as Sirius grew older he was restless to do the magic himself, not watch someone else perform it. It was finally his turn.

"May I see," she corrected him. But she handed the letter to him all the same. "You'll need new robes of course - the uniform says black, but I don't see why we can't have them embroidered with a bit of silver - I can't have my eldest running around looking like a commoner. Maybe with onyx buttons on the pockets. We'll get you a green Slytherin scarf and gloves for winter, of course."

"And a wand, right mum? I mean - mother," he corrected himself quickly, not wanting to poke the bear on a day so full of promise.

"Of course, from Ollivander's - they are of the highest quality, even if they do let all manner of riff-raff shop there," she said. "I suppose as a business you must make allowances...but to sell to filthy Mudbloods and allow their Muggle families inside the store..such disgrace…."

Sirius wasn't listening to his mother any longer. He was reading through the supply list, nearly quivering with excitement. This was it - the ticket away from home, the ticket to brilliant magic and a massive castle to explore without his mother's watchful eyes or sneaky house-elf keeping watch on him at every moment.

Life stuck in the Black home was terribly boring for Sirius, and boredom often led him to mischief which led him to great trouble. His mother was entirely uninterested in providing entertainment for young boys - she was too busy socializing with the wizarding world's elite, hoping to strike a good marriage arrangement for her heir. Sirius despised being dragged along to stuffy social gatherings full of old men and women bemoaning the lost heyday of wizarding culture. Sirius hated being forced to hang out with the Malfoys and Averys and Mulcibers - he had little in common with those children and if his cousins weren't around as the younger of the group he was often picked as the guinea pig for experiments with weird and unpleasant hexes and jinxs. He always volunteered to protect Regulus, the youngest, not that the adults ever noticed. They were always talking politics and saying hateful things and they all just loved his mother, though in her advancing years she'd lost much of her beauty. They thought her sweet in the way she spoke in fake sugary tones about her youngest son, and laughed when she bemoaned the endless patience it takes to raise a rambunctious child like her oldest.

Sirius knew it was all an act - Walburga Black was anything but patient and getting caught in the act of misbehavior usually meant a slap or a kick - or the worst - getting locked in the cellar with the house elf, who said all manner of cruel things and refused to share his blankets no matter how cold it got.

But Hogwarts would be an escape from all that.

Of course, the other children would also attend. His cousins Narcissa and Andromeda would be there, but the girls were a few years older and he couldn't imagine they'd bother him all that much. Perhaps in the common room in the evenings - but he could live with that. Besides, Andromeda was a nice enough sort, and Narcissa was all right, even if she did still treat him like he was five and try to squeeze his cheeks.

And there would be magic to be learned - charms and jinxes and so much potential for mischief, laughter and fun - there was little laughter in the Black household, except when his mother decided to allow Regulus in his presence. It was clear who the favorite child was - and it wasn't the eldest, who his mother generally kept away from her youngest, blasting him for being a bad influence on his younger brother.

To her credit, that was not entirely untrue - Sirius did love corrupting his kid brother. Regulus may bend over backwards to please his parents, but every so often he could be convinced to toe the line with Sirius, such as the time the older boy decided they should go exploring across the rooftops.

"Go get washed and put on your robes, now," his mother said. "Your father will be back from his business soon and he won't want to be kept waiting for you." She pinned it on her husband, but the message was clear. Don't make her wait - Walburga Black expected orders to be followed promptly.

For once, Sirius didn't try to irritate his mother, who was in an unusually calm and almost pleasant mood. He supposed she was imagining all the ways she could use him to show off to other families now that he would be of school age and highly visible in the wizarding world - he hoped the robes she ordered wouldn't be too ostentatious.

He placed the letter on the side table next to her chair and rushed back up the steep stairs to the washroom. He was finally getting a wand. Things were finally looking up.

/

"Mum! Dad! The Hogwarts letter is here!" James Potter called down the hall. "Can we go shopping for everything now that we have the list?!"

James had been waiting for the last month. His family knew the letter was coming of course, but his father had refused to take him for a wand until the list with the rest of the necessary supplies came. James, who was not used to being told no, had been begging Fleamont Potter for a fortnight to go shopping, but his father had held his ground.

His father stepped into the kitchen and gently took the letter from his son's hands.

"Let's see here - new robes, of course, and a new hat. A pair of protective gloves - those will be useful in Herbology and Potions - and a winter cloak. Same as when I went to school." His father continued to scan the list. "Lots of new titles on the book list - I see Fantastic Beasts is on here - I met Newt Scamander once or twice - bit of an awkward fellow, but very passionate about his work. "A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration - they began using that a few years after your mother and I graduated - let's see what else…"

"Dad, you're an old man - of course they've updated the list - and besides, who cares about the books?" James whined. "Look here - it says first years require one wand - ohhh it also says we can bring an owl, cat or toad - can I have a kitten? Please?"

"Do you really think you'll remember to feed a kitten, dear?" His mother asked as she came into the kitchen.

James frowned. "Well, I suppose not…"

"Perhaps an owl in a year or two," his father allowed. "They're right useful and very smart."

"Sounds reasonable," James said amicably. "So can we go today? Can we?"

Fleamont and Euphemia Potter looked at each other then smiled down at their son. "Let me just get my traveling cloak, dear," his mother said. "It's a bit rainy for July."

"YES!" He jumped up and pumped a fist in the air. Every young witch and wizard dreamed of the day they would pick out their first wand, didn't they? It was finally happening for James.

"I can't wait to get to Hogwarts," he told his parents excitedly as they walked the cobblestone streets of Diagon Alley later that day. "It's a shame they don't let first years play Quidditch - but there will still be matches to watch of course. One of the McLaggens is the captain - maybe he'll let me watch practices sometimes. And aren't there ghosts in the castle? And a huge lake?"

"That reminds me - when you get to Hogwarts give Sir Nicholas my regards," his father told him. "He's the Gryffindor ghost - pleasant bloke. Shame about the way he died."

"The way he died?" James asked. He was a curious child and ready to absorb every detail he could before he reached Hogwarts on September 1.

"He was meant to be beheaded, but the executioner made a bit of a wreck out of the whole thing," Fleamont said. "If you ask him to tell the story he'll be happy to tell it - just be polite."

"Right," James said, making a mental note to do so. "Hey, Mum, what about the Ravenclaw ghost?"

"The Grey Lady wasn't much for conversation," his mother told him.

James nodded seriously. One more check in the Gryffindor column. He knew his parents would be proud no matter what house he was sorted into, but he'd been weighing the pros and cons of both of his parents' school houses for the last few months, considering his options. Though Ravenclaw seemed respectable, Gryffindor seemed more the place for him.

The boy wanted very badly to go to Hogwarts, not only for the adventure but also to make his parents proud. He knew Fleamont and Euphemia were quite a bit older than the average parents of an 11-year-old boy, and while they were both the picture of good health he had it in his head that going to school was the first step in making lifelong friends and finding the love of his life. He wanted his parents to see him happy and surrounded by love so that they never had to worry, even when they were gone. He planned to live his life to its absolute fullest from the very beginning, to make sure his parents knew he would always be okay. It was a little bit of a mad notion, but it was one he had grabbed hold of and was unwilling to let go.

"Can we get my wand first?" He asked. "Please?"

His mother smiled at him indulgently. "I suppose there's no harm in that," she told him. "We'll head to Ollivander's for that. Their wands are the best."

"Yes!" James jumped up and down and rushed ahead, fully aware of the location of the store, which he'd walked by many times before, awaiting his turn to walk inside and test the instruments out.

But when he reached the door he paused, enchanted by what he saw through the windows. Another boy his age, skinny with sandy-colored hair, was already being helped by a willowy old man with grey hair. The boy's arm moved in a graceful arc, and a stream of silver, glowing almost like moonlight, shot out of the wand. The display lit up the boy's face, and his eyes were sparkling with a look of wonder.

It was an absolutely beautiful moment - but also a private one James suddenly felt he shouldn't interrupt. Showing great restraint, which was out of character for him, he took his hand off the door handle.

He supposed he could wait another minute or two for his moment, if it meant letting the other boy have his.


	2. A Hogwarts House for All

It was really happening. Remus looked around King's Cross station eagerly, trying to contain his excitement. Never in his wildest dreams had he ever imagined that he would be standing in front of the magical barrier to Platform 9 ¾, about to ship off for a year of magical education.

Dumbledore had laid out a detailed plan of how they would keep his condition a secret. Only a handful of staff would even know – Dumbledore himself, of course, Madam Pomfrey, the resident Healer at Hogwarts, and the head of whatever house Remus was sorted into once he arrived.

The headmaster had assured him that none of the teachers would penalize him for missing class, so long as he completed the make-up work in a timely manner. Every month, before the full moon, Remus would report to the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey would take him down a secret passageway to an off-site location for his transformation. The location, an old shack on the fringes of the wizarding village of Hogsmeade, had been fortified with powerful protective magic from none other than Dumbledore himself. A violent tree called a Whomping Willow would guard the passageway, to avoid the complication of an unsuspecting student coming across it.

Once the transformation was over, Madam Pomfrey would return and see to any injuries Remus sustained during the torturous nights.

The rest of the month, Remus would act as a normal student, sleeping in a dormitory with his classmates, learning magic from brilliant witches and wizards, studying subjects like Transfiguration and Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts.

That last one of course, seemed a bit contrary, seeing as he himself was a dark creature. But nonetheless, the boy's excitement was without precedent.

He was also incredibly nervous. It was a huge risk, as his father kept reminding him, to live in such close quarters with other children. Remus would have to guard his secret carefully, hiding the scars across his body, making excuses for his disappearances, not revealing his extensive knowledge on the subject of werewolves and other part-human species, which would be a strange expertise for any normal 11-year-old wizard.

"Well Remus, this is it," his father said. The man looked rather tense, but he was smiling. Remus knew that Lyall was worried about all that could go wrong, but he appreciated the brave face his father was putting on.

His mother was simply beaming. "Oh darling, I know you'll make us proud," she said, squeezing his hand tightly.

Remus smiled and squeezed her hand back, then turned to stare at the brick wall that served as a barrier. "Um…how do we get through, Father? Is it like the brick at Diagon Alley?" They'd made Remus' maiden voyage for schools supplies just a few days before, and it was the first time Remus had actually accompanied his father to the shops. For most of his life, his parents had felt it more prudent to hide him in the Muggle world, a place where werewolves were nothing more than myth. But this time, he'd gone out into the world, picked out a wand and like any other wizarding child learned that the wand actually picks the wizard. His hand subconsciously went his pocket where he'd stored away the coveted object. A wand that picked a werewolf. It was a treasure.

His parents had also treated him to a special gift - a lovely set of books that chronicled the British wizarding world's history from as far back as wizarding kind kept records. They'd bought the books new - quite an expense - but his father had insisted that Remus deserved something to read outside of his school books.

"Just walk through," his father said. "If you're nervous, you can do it at a bit of a run."

"Lyall…" Hope said, sounding unsure.

"Trust me Hope," Lyall said. "It will be all right."

Remus privately thought that his father was trying to convince himself that was true as well. The boy took a deep breath and stared intently at the wall. He was full of fear - what if the barrier recognized a werewolf and wouldn't let him through? What if other wizarding families immediately recognized him for what he was?

But he knew he must be brave. So he grabbed the carriage with his trunk on it and walked resolutely toward the wall. He closed his eyes as he drew closer and closer, hoping against hope that he wouldn't collide with hard, cold brick.

The collision never came. Instead, Remus opened his eyes and saw the gleaming steam engine known as the Hogwarts Express. It was really happening.

His mother and father appeared behind him. His father's eyes had a sparkle and a faraway look in them that Remus couldn't remember ever seeing before.

His mother let out a delighted giggle. "How lovely," she said. She squatted down so that she was eye level with her son. "Are you ready?" She asked him quietly.

He nodded, afraid his voice might fail him.

She enveloped him in a hug. "Write often," she said. "And pay attention in class. And make sure you eat your veggies and don't fill up on pumpkin juice or sweets every meal. And dear…" she lowered her voice so as to not be overheard. "If you have any issues during the full moon, write us straightaway, or ask the matron do to it if you can't. Your father and I will come."

"I'll be okay Mother," Remus said, sounding braver than he felt. He turned to his father. Lyall bent down to hug his son.

"Remember Remus, you must not let anything slip," the man told him. "But that doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy all Hogwarts has to offer. Dumbledore has assured me they will put great thought into who they room you with once you're sorted, and he will watch them carefully to help protect your secret." The man hugged him a second time, a fierce tight one that seemed to say the gentler things his father could not. "Be good, and mind what your mother just said."

"I will, Father," Remus assured him.

The man straightened. "Well then let's get you on that train."

/

Peter had given his mother a kiss and insisted he didn't need her help maneuvering his trunk into a compartment on the train, but he was now regretting that. The older students all, of course, had their friends, and they jostled him as they rushed by to reunite, without so much as a glance down. He was feeling rather out of place and a tad overwhelmed.

"Are you also a first year?" Peter turned with relief to the person addressing him, and saw a skinny sandy-haired boy a few inches taller than him who was also lugging along a trunk.

"Yes," Peter said gratefully. "I'm not sure where to go."

"I could see it in your face," the other boy said, but not unkindly. "I'm Remus. I'd shake, but I kind of have my hands full at the moment." He lifted his trunk-free hand to show Peter a book.

"Peter Pettigrew," Peter answered quickly. He was determined to make a good impression. "You like to read?"

The boy called Remus nodded. "I love to read." His eyes sparkled and Peter could tell he really meant it. "Have you had a chance to crack any of our school books yet? The one about Fantastic Beasts is fascinating. And my parents bought me these books on wizarding history that discusses the founding and building of Hogwarts - it's - " Remus suddenly stopped short and blushed deeply. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling."

"Not at all!" Peter said. "I've been flipping through the Charms book myself. I've tried a few spells...but no luck so far…" He was pretty down about that actually, but he wasn't ready to admit that to anyone.

"Oh really? I hadn't thought to actually try anything yet...Father said under-aged wizards aren't supposed to do magic outside of school."

"Watch out, firsties!" A boy about 15 was rushing down the train corridor jumped over their trunks. "The train's about to start moving - you should find seats!" Peter noticed a shiny prefect badge on the boy's shirt.

"Oh bother, where will we sit?" Peter was looking around and it seemed most of the compartments were already closed off and seemed full.

"I'm sure we'll find something if we head toward the back," Remus said. "So tell me, what spells have you tried so far?"

"Nothing too complex, just the wand lighting spell. I read up on the counter-spell to darken it too, but of course I haven't managed the first yet so I couldn't even try the second," Peter said as they walked. He hoped the other boy didn't judge him as an idiot for failing at something so simple.

"I'm sure it will be easier once we've had a proper lesson or two," Remus said encouragingly.

Peter smiled, irrationally grateful for such simple words. Maybe Remus would be his first friend.

/

James settled himself into the compartment across from a tall boy with dark hair who was lounging across the seat. The other boy glanced at him but didn't say a word.

"First year?" James asked, chipper. He'd been dreaming of leaving his mark at Hogwarts since his parents first began telling him stories of the place as a child. But to accomplish all his plans he would need a good team of men, and it was never too early to start recruiting the right kind of friends.

"Yup," the other boy said, sounding bored.

"You like pranks?" James asked, not beating around the bush.

The other boy turned to him, looking more interested. "What types of pranks?"

James leaned forward. This boy was promising. "Well, my father has already taught me the Levitation Charm-"

"Wingardium Leviosa," the other boy supplied. "I tried that as soon as Father brought me for a wand. Sent the dinner plates flying off the table - couldn't quite control it the way I'd hoped. Mother was furious." He was grinning.

"Brilliant!" James said appreciatively. "So I hear the castle is chock full of suits of armor and things – big heavy ones from the dark ages or whatever. So anyway, I was thinking – "

James paused as the door slid open and a redhead girl peeked in. "Can I sit there?" she pointed to a seat in the corner by the window. Her voice was shaky and she looked upset.

"Sure, of course," James said, waving a hand. He wondered if he should ask if she was okay, but the other boy drew him back into conversation.

"So the suits of armor?" He pressed.

"Right, so I was thinking –" The compartment door slid open again and a skinny, greasy looking boy already wearing wizarding robes entered and sat next to the red-head. They must have known each other, because they began talking immediately.

James turned back to his conversation partner, about to open his mouth, when he heard the new arrival say "You'd better be in Slytherin."

"Slytherin?" James said, incredulous. "Who wants to be in Slytherin?" I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?" he asked his dark-haired new companion.

"My whole family have been in Slytherin," the other boy said, not smiling.

"Blimey, and I thought you seemed all right!"

This caused the other boy to grin. "Maybe I'll break tradition," he said. "Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?"

James gestured as if lifting an invisible sword. "Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart," he said in his best imitation of a Quidditch announcer. "Like my dad."

The greasy boy made a small disparaging noise. James turned to him.

"Got a problem with that?"

"No," he said, but he was sneering. "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy."

James jumped up but before he could retort the tall boy did it for him.

"Where're you hoping to go, seeing as you're neither?" James roared with laughter.

The girl, looking flushed, sat up and glared at James. "Come on Severus, let's find another compartment."

"Oooo," both James and his new friend said, imitating her lofty voice. James tried to trip the greasy boy as they walked out.

"See ya, Snivellus!" he called after him.

He turned back to the other boy. "What a git."

"Right you are about that," he agreed. "I'm Sirius, by the way. Sirius Black." He held out a hand.

"James Potter," James said, taking the hand. "Black like House of Black of the Sacred Twenty-Eight?" he asked curiously. He'd heard his parents speak about the Black family, and it hadn't been entirely complimentary.

"Unfortunately," the other boy said. "But hey – pureblood, half-blood, Muggle – I don't give a flying hippogriff about that kind of stuff. My family's nuts."

"I'd never judge the son on the sins of the father," James said. He was pretty sure that was a quote from something, but couldn't remember what. But it seemed the boy called Sirius knew what was said about his family, and wasn't eager to be a part of it. "Anyway, I was thinking about trying to get the helmets on the suits of armor to fly around the corridors tonight. No one would suspect a couple first-years who haven't even had their first class, eh?"

"I like the way you think, Potter," Sirius said.

"Come on Peter, this is the last compartment on the train," a voice filtered in from the corridor. "I'm sure there will be space for both of us."

Both boys turned as the compartment door slid open again. A sandy-brown-haired skinny boy poked his head in. "Any chance you've room for two more?" He asked. A pudgy boy looked over his shoulder from behind.

"Course," James said quickly, taking stock of the two. With a start he realized he recognized one of them - it was the boy who had been at Ollivander's just before him. He was wearing worn Muggle clothes, had a book in the hand he didn't have on his trunk, and seemed rather nervous, but his eyes were full of intelligence as he glanced around the compartment. James immediately got the impression that he was observing every little detail and filing it away in the vaults of his brain. James liked that.

The pudgy one was already wearing new wizarding robes that were a tad tight across the belly. He seemed to be struggling a bit with the heavy trunk, so James got up to help him heave it to the overhead shelves.

"I'm James Potter," he said, holding out a hand to the sandy-haired one.

"Remus Lupin," the boy said, shaking. James raised an eyebrow.

"Your parents into wolves?"

"W-what do you mean?" The other boy dropped his hand abruptly.

"You know, Remus – the mythological twins raised by wolves – and Lupin." James smiled, hoping to disarm the nervous boy. As a child his mother had told all the typical wizarding stories like the Tales of Beedle the Bard, but when James had grown bored of those she'd sought out various Muggle legends and myths to add to the mix. As a result, James was rather better-versed in ancient mythology than the average child. "It's a witty play on words. Your parents must have a rich sense of humor."

"Oh, right," the other boy said laughing uncertainly. "Yes, my mother is a Muggle and when she met my father she made it her job to read every bit of mythology she could find, not entirely understanding that every little legend didn't translate to the wizarding world. "Hence my name."

James nodded and turned to the other boy, awaiting introduction. "Peter. Peter Pettigrew," he squeaked.

"All right then," James said amicably. "That over there is Sirius. We were just discussing how to stir up a little trouble this evening."

"On the first night?" Remus said, looking scandalized.

"Relax, wolfman, we won't get caught," Sirius said. James frowned at the terrible choice in nickname as Remus made a horrified face.

"Don't call him that, that makes him sound like some kind of werewolf or something," James said. "Who'd want that reputation on day one?"

"Good point. Sorry buddy," Sirius said. "Anyway, what houses are you hoping to get into?"

Remus looked thoughtful. "Ravenclaw and Gryffindor both sound nice."

"Ravenclaws are too bookish for my liking," James said. "Though maybe in your case that's a positive," he added, glancing at the book in Remus's hand.

"I'm not smart enough to make it into Ravenclaw," Peter said, sounding disappointed. "My mother thought I was as Squib until I was about nine. But she realized I couldn't be when I made a pie explode when she refused me dessert as punishment one night."

Looking at Peter, James figured a lack of dessert was a significant punishment in the Pettigrew household.

"Don't knock yourself down before you even reach school, Peter," Remus said. "The whole point of the sorting is to identify the underlying characteristics that make you most special, and what you value. This book says sometimes the sorting hat discovers secrets you didn't even know about yourself."

"What book is that, anyway?" James asked.

"It's part of a set - Wizards and Witches through the Ages," Remus said. "Father never talked about school much, and Mother is a Muggle, so I wanted to make sure I knew what to expect."

"My father says Hogwarts is brilliant," James said. "He said there are secret passages and moving staircases and an enchanted ceiling – and ghosts!"

"Ghosts?" The boy called Peter said in a small voice.

"The Slytherin ghost is all covered in blood and chains," Sirius interjected. "Seems that's how he died. Only rumor has it that the blood didn't belong to him…"

"Ohhhh," Peter's eyes widened in terror.

"How do you know that?" James asked curiously.

Sirius shrugged. "I told you, my whole family's been in Slytherin for centuries. Two of my cousins are at school now. They're always telling stories."

"That could be useful," James said. "Having intel on the enemy…."

"The enemy?" Remus asked.

"Gryffindors and Slytherins have been rivals for centuries," James explained. "It traces all the way back to the school founders. Didn't that book tell you?"

"The book does mention a disagreement between Salazar Slytherin and Godric Gryffindor," Remus allowed. "But that was thousands of years ago."

"And what makes you think I'll go around spilling all the Slytherin secrets to you, especially if you wind up in Gryffindor?" Sirius taunted. "Besides, maybe you'll wind up in Hufflepuff."

"Sirius, my new friend, you wound me," James said dramatically. "Don't you want to run with the cool crowd? Tell the sorting hat who's boss and make sure you get placed in Gryffindor. I know I will."

Sirius chuckled. "It's wishful thinking Potter, nothing more. Blacks always get placed in Slytherin. Every one of us."

"We'll see Black, we'll see." James had already decided Sirius Black was the kind of guy he wanted as a friend. He had a feeling thing would turn out just fine.

James turned and looked at the other two boys thoughtfully. Remus Lupin did definitely seem the bookish type that usually got dropped in Ravenclaw, but there was something about him James liked. He hadn't failed to notice the kind way Remus spoke to Peter, who looked the type to be an easy target for bullies. Remus Lupin was definitely a good egg. Worthy Gryffindor material. And that Peter – he was someone James could work on. Yes, James liked this little crew.

/

"Anything from the trolley, dears?" A woman pushing a cart laden with sweets poked her head into the compartment.

James and Sirius both jumped forward. "Some chocolate frogs, please," James said. "Oh - and some cauldron cakes. And pumpkin pasties - ohhh and some every flavor beans please!"

"All that, and some liquorice wands," Sirius said, digging into his pockets for his galleons and pushing James aside before he could bring out his own money. His mother may treat him rotten at home, but she couldn't resist showing off the family's wealth, and she'd sent him with more gold than Sirius even knew what to do with. He turned and called over his shoulder to Remus and Peter. "You guys want anything? My treat."

"Oh I couldn't…" Remus said. "Anyway, my mother packed me sandwiches."

"Please - I could buy this whole cart if I wanted to," Sirius said haughtily. "Pick your poison. You too Petey."

Peter scrambled forward to examine the offerings, but Remus still looked hesitant.

"Come on - you need something sweet to round out the meal," Sirius coaxed.

"Well, I do love chocolate frogs…" The other boy admitted.

"Excellent, some chocolate frogs for my friend then," Sirius told the trolley witch, who smiled at him and handed over a heap of sweets. Peter selected a few cauldron cakes and returned to his seat, smiling wide.

"Thanks Sirius!" He squeaked as he dug in.

"Don't mention it," Sirius said, dumping his haul in the middle of the compartment. "Let's dig in!"

"Thank you," Remus said quietly, grabbing one of the chocolate frogs and unwrapping it. "Godric Gryffindor," he said.

"It's a sign!" James shouted, pointing at Remus. "What else could it possibly mean to pull Godric Gryffindor just before you're about to be sorted?"

"I just pulled Hengist the mountain troll," Sirius told him. "What does that mean?"

The other boy scratched his head. "I got nothing," he said finally.

Sirius laughed and tossed the card aside. He was already more relaxed with these virtual strangers than he'd been in his family's house for the past few years. He hoped no one was put off by his little display just now, but he liked the idea of giving something back in return for this new-found comfort. He stretched out and leaned back, content with their little group.

About halfway into the ride it occurred to him that he still needed to change into his robes. He pulled his trunk down and dug them out, then began stripping casually.

"You're just going to do that in the middle of the compartment?" the one named Remus asked, sounding disapproving.

"What? Does it bother you?" Sirius asked, pausing with one leg still in his Muggle trousers.

"It's just - "

"You didn't pull the blinds first," James Potter supplied, though it didn't seem like that had been what Remus was going to say. The boy stood up and pulled the string to block the compartment from view of the general corridor.

"My mom didn't realize we were supposed to show up in Muggle clothes," Peter said. "We got quite a few strange looks walking through the station…"

"My mum wasn't too pleased about putting on Muggle things," Sirius told him, continuing to undress. "I don't mind them though. I'm always getting my robes caught on something when I try to play. Much easier to maneuver in the Muggle pants, don't you think?"

"My mother's a Muggle so we usually wear Muggle things day to day," Remus said. "Father of course wears proper robes to work though."

"Your mum's a Muggle?" Sirius asked, interested. His mother never let him spend any time around Muggles, and he had questions. "Tell me then - do you know how they make their cars and trains move without magic?"

"I'm not really sure of the mechanics," Remus said, "but I'm sure there are books on the matter."

"Books at Hogwarts?"

"Well sure, there is a Muggle Studies class for older students," James said reasonably. "Sounds rather dull if you ask me."

"I think it sounds fascinating!" Sirius said enthusiastically. "I'd love to know how the vehicles work. And how to they do laundry? And airplanes! I've seen them fly over London - how do they stay up? Is it safe to fly in them? Is it more comfortable than a broomstick?"

"I've flown in them before, when mother and I had to travel separate from father" Remus said. "They're relatively comfortable - certainly warmer than a broomstick."

"That's amazing!" Sirius said. "My mum would never let me within a kilometer of one!"

"Well why bother, when we can travel by Floo?" James asked. Peter nodded in agreement.

"For the experience Potter!" Sirius said. "Plus, my uncle says it's a pain to get an international fireplace connection approved by the ministry. He usually goes by broomstick or Apparates. But what if you want to travel to the Americas? Or Egypt?" He knew he was rambling on a bit, but he was terribly excited by the idea of flying in an airplane. He wondered if Remus would be willing to let him meet his Muggle mum and ask her questions. His parents certainly wouldn't approve, but if he did well in school he imagined they might give him a little leeway in the summer. They were rather strict, but his father had made comments before about young boys needing a good amount of fresh air, which you simply couldn't get in a stuffy London brownstone.

"Are those your robes?" James broke into his thoughts. "Doesn't the uniform call for basic black?"

Sirius looked down - he had dressed without even realizing it. His robes were black, but there was a sparkly silver stitching along the collar, pockets and edges, and a heavy silver belt instead of the leather type that Peter was wearing. He sighed. "Mum is the showy type."

"I'll say," James said, poking the belt. "That silver isn't going to match with the Gryffindor gold, you know."

"That won't be an issue as I'll wind up stuck in Slytherin, as I told you," Sirius snapped. "It's not like it's up to me."

"Of course it's up to you, mate," James said, grinning in a way that made Sirius want to hit him a bit. He simply didn't understand. "If it's what you want, you only need to say so."

"And go against my entire family?"

James just shrugged. "Dad always says children should be raised to be independent and make their own choices. Seems like a good enough place to start."

Sirius frowned, but didn't argue with him. The word independent stuck out to him. He should be independent, right? He shouldn't blindly follow the doctrine his parents tried to feed him. James was right. Hogwarts was just the place to start.


	3. Boys Defined by Sorting

A/N: I am not a song writer and for that I apologize.

* * *

Remus was sitting in a boat with James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew, staring up at the great Hogwarts castle and not entirely believing the situation he was in. Like any normal boy, he was socializing with his peers and headed up to school.

"It's much larger than I expected," Remus said, trying to control the awe in his voice.

"Quite the spectacle," James said jovially. "And this view from the lake can't be beat. A shame they only take you this way in your first year."

"Perhaps they're trying to avoid aggravating the giant squid that lives in the lake," Remus said. He found it a bit strange to keep up a conversation, but James and Sirius had talked through the entire train ride in a casual way that suggested the two spent a fair amount of time in the company of others their age. Remus was rewarded for his efforts at conversation when his comment elicited a horrified squeal from Peter and caused Sirius to jump up excitedly and run to the edge of the boat.

"I didn't know there was a squid in the lake," Sirius said, leaning over the edge and causing the boat to tilt dangerously."

"Get back here before you tip us over," James grumbled, pulling the bigger boy by his robes.

"I wouldn't mind a little swim," Sirius countered, pulling his robes out of James's grip. The boat swayed dangerously and Remus hurried to the side opposite Sirius to counter the weight.

"I can't swim!" Peter cried.

Sirius glanced at him, looking mildly annoyed. "All right, well so much for that then."

The rest of the boat ride passed in companionable silence, something Remus was not entirely accustomed to. At home, silence usually meant tension or that Remus was locked up in the cellar, his parents safely above, waiting for the full moon to rise.

He shuddered, trying to shake the thought away. The full moon was just a few days away, as a matter of fact, but thankfully it fell on a Saturday so Remus shouldn't miss much class. If the transformation went well, he may be able to avoid missing class entirely.

Remus was absolutely thrilled at the idea of starting his magical education. It was an opportunity he never imagined he'd have. As a child, he'd often watched dolefully when his father waved his wand, helping mother clean the house or turning lights on and off or sending sparks from his wand to entertain his son. Remus had imagined with cold fear what would happen one day when his father passed and no one was there to enchant the cellar door, to keep him locked away safely where he could not hurt anyone else, and casting a charm to prevent the horrid howls from reaching the ears of neighbors.

But now Remus would be able to learn all those things – even if he was still a werewolf, even if his future was uncertain and he may never hold a steady job or have a wife and children, he would at least be able to live knowing he could lock himself in, that he would never cause harm to somebody the way some poor werewolf once did to him. It was a comfort to know he would acquire the skills to become self-reliant, as it was highly likely his life would one day be a lonely existence when there was no one else to rely on.

The boats had reached the edge of the lake and the four boys scrambled out, filing into line between the giant gamekeeper, named Hagrid. Remus had never seen a man so large in his life. James and Sirius speculated that perhaps the gamekeeper had giant's blood in him, but Remus had read of giants and the smiling, kind man seemed nothing like the vicious beasts described in his books. Then again, the books on werewolves hardly got in to the fact that outside the full moon werewolves could be bookish 11-year-old boys.

Remus felt his nerves acting up again as the students entered the lobby of the castle. He knew first-years were put through a rather public sorting ceremony using a magical hat that scanned your mind to discover your aptitudes. What if when he was scanned the system discovered he was a werewolf and refused to sort him, or worse, blurted it out to the whole school?

He shook himself. Dumbledore had assured him he'd taken steps to keep his secret. He was being ridiculous.

Eventually the first years were filed in, led by a tall witch in emerald green robes and hair styled in a tight black knot. The woman had a rather stern face and did not seem the type who should be crossed.

So naturally, James Potter was already speaking in hushed whispers to Sirius Black ideas of how to prank the witch. However the latter now seemed distracted, his handsome face tight and looking rather paler than it had on the train. Remus wondered if Sirius was as nervous as Remus felt.

Remus gasped, forgetting his nerves as he entered the Great Hall. There were four long tables full of students, which hundreds if not thousands of candles floating above for light. The staff sat at a table perpendicular to the house tables, and Remus felt a burst of courage when he spotted Professor Dumbledore seated at the center.

Of course the real centerpiece was the enchanted ceiling. Remus had read about it already, but nothing compared to seeing it in person. It looked like he was staring up at the heavens - complete with stars and purple and navy clouds and even the almost-full moon shining light down.

The young witch waved her wand and a three-legged stool appeared at the head of the line of first years. Another flick, and a curious, lumpy old wizard's hat appeared.

"What's that?" Peter asked.

"The sorting hat," James responded, sounding positively gleeful. "They'll call us up and you put it on your head and it sorts you into your house."

James was correct. The witch, who'd now introduced herself as Professor McGonagall, issued instructions for each student to approach the stool as their name was called, a put the hat on their head for sorting. But before she started, the hat spoke.

 _"Long ago, before your time_

 _Once lived the founders four_

 _Sweet Hufflepuff, Sharp Ravenclaw_

 _Clever Slytherin, Brave Gryffindor_

 _They sought a special place_

 _To safely spread their knowledge_

 _And thus behind these walls_

 _Was born a world of privilege_

 _Dear Hufflepuff took the lot_

 _All children who showed magic_

 _The brainy Ravenclaw_

 _Picked those who focused on logic_

 _Sir Slytherin valued ambition_

 _And chose those of noble birth_

 _And glory-driven Gryffindor_

 _Sought those who would conquer the earth_

 _Kindness and loyalty would gladly wear the badger_

 _Quick wit and curiosity caught the eagle eye_

 _Strategic minds would serve the serpent_

 _The courageous under lions rise_

 _And so here I am! The time is here._

 _A new crop ripe for the picking._

 _So sit right down_

 _And get this old hat kicking!"_

By the end of the ballad the first years were all looking around curiously, but the rest of the school was behaving as if this was all perfectly normal.

"Abbott, Rebecca," she called.

The blonde girl in question approached the stool and gently placed the hat on her head.

"Hufflepuff!" The hat roared out after a moment. Remus breathed a sigh of relief – the hat hadn't said anything of what it discovered in Rebecca's mind. His secret was safe from the student body. But he was still fearful that the hat may refuse to sort him when it discovered his lycanthropy.

A few other students were called and then "Black, Sirius!"

A blonde haired girl probably about 15 and one with light brown hair about 17 seated at the Slytherin table both perked up at the name. Remus imagined these were the cousins Sirius had alluded to on the train.

Sirius was definitely pale - almost white,- as he sat on the stool and shoved the hat on. A minute or two passed – just a bit longer than it had for the other students – before the hat spoke.

"GRYFFINDOR!" It roared, and James jumped up and down, pumping his fist triumphantly.

"I knew he was the right sort!" he shouted happily, smacking Remus on the back.

Sirius didn't look as though he shared his friend's enthusiasm. In fact, he looked entirely in shock at the whole thing. The two girls at the Slytherin table also looked taken aback.

Slowly, Sirius took the hat off his head, looking around as though there must be some kind of mistake.

"Run along to the Gryffindor table, Mr. Black," Professor McGonagall said, not unkindly. "I have a whole list to get through yet.

Still looking shell-shocked, Sirius nodded and walked over to the Gryffindors, who were clapping politely.

"Bourne, Celia," McGonagall called, and the students' attention moved on to the next first year student. All except the two Black cousins, who were staring at Sirius intently.

A flurry of names went by. Sometimes the hat called out quickly, other times it seemed to consider for a moment or two before sorting a student. But every student as sorted and the respective House table roared with congratulatory applause which each new addition.

Finally, the moment came for Remus.

"Lupin, Remus!" McGonagall called out in her clear voice.

"Good luck," Peter whispered, and James just grinned at him.

Remus walked slowly, for his legs felt like jelly and it would have been quite embarrassing to trip in front of the entire school. The less attention he drew to himself the better. He reached the stool and with shaking hands, placed the hat on his head.

"Ahhh, hello there," the hat said, though Remus could tell he was the only one who heard. "Let's see what we've got. A curious and sharp mind for sure – the Ravenclaws rather like that, though I see you have a compassionate heart, and much patience for others – that would fit in well with Hufflepuff. But what's this?"

Remus squeezed his eyes shut. He could tell by the tone of surprise that the hat had stumbled upon his secret.

"A werewolf, eh?" The hat said to him. "I haven't sorted many of your kind. Maybe not a one." Remus wondered if he was about to be kicked out. He screwed his face up and shut his eyes tight, ready for the devastating blow. But instead the hat said something benevolent. "I suppose that explains the kindness – those who suffer the most can often understand the suffering of others far better than the average person. But wow, a werewolf. Very brave coming here, very brave indeed. I know what to do with you. GRYFFINDOR!"

The last word was shouted aloud for the whole school to hear, and the red and gold table burst out in applause. Even Sirius was distracted from his own thoughts long enough to smile and wave to Remus from below, and the boy also heard a whoop of delight from behind, which he assumed to be James.

"Good show," Sirius said as Remus joined him at the table. "That was rather long though – what were you and the hat talking about?" He asked curiously.

"You had a conversation with the hat?" Remus asked, unwilling to answer the question. He couldn't be honest, but he also didn't want to lie. "I didn't really – he – or it- did most of the talking." He was feeling rather feverish with pleasure – the hat had considered him intelligent, kind, and brave. He certainly didn't deserve such compliments, but it felt good to hear them anyway.

"Hmm…" Sirius responded, looking thoughtful. Remus opened his mouth to ask what Sirius had discussed, but just then McKinnon, Marlene was sorted into Hufflepuff, and Monroe, Elroy was sorted into Ravenclaw, and his attention was drawn back to the sorting.

Soon Pettigrew, Peter was called. The pudgy boy with the mousy face looked like he was about to faint so Remus closed his eyes and whispered a little wish, hoping Peter could feel the good vibes he was trying to send his way.

A minute passed. Then another. And another. The older students started whispering.

"Hatstall," a prefect sitting a bit down the bench said to Sirius and Remus. "Happens when the hat is torn between two houses. They're rare - it's a bit of an excitement actually." Remus turned back to Peter with interest. He wondered which houses the hat was debating.

"Gryffindor," the hat finally said, though this pronouncement was quieter than some of the others had been.

"I wonder if it was unsure with that decision," Sirius asked conversationally.

"Don't say that, it's rude," Remus chastised him, without thinking, then immediately bit his tongue. He shouldn't be criticizing a boy who was willing to talk to him – or anyone for that matter. What right did a werewolf have to that?

But Sirius looked rather guilty. "Aww, I didn't mean it in a nasty way," he said quickly. "I like little Petey. Just a bit surprising is all."

"I made Gryffindor!" Peter squawked when he reached the table. Sirius slapped him on the back good-naturedly and a few older students offered congratulations as well.

"Look, Potter's up," Sirius said. "Wouldn't it be rich if after all that boasting he wound up in Hufflepuff or something?"

But it seemed James had the chops to back that boasting up – nearly as soon as it touched down on his head the hat screamed "GRYFFINDOR" with such force it echoed throughout the hall.

James ran up to the table with a massive smile on his face. "Bloody brilliant!" He said, shoving between Remus and Sirius and throwing an arm around each one of them. "All four of us in Gryffindor. The train ride was fate. Saddle up boys, I'm going to take you on the ride of your lives."

Sirius laughed and seemed more relaxed than he'd been when he was first sorted, though he still looked a tad pale. Remus laughed with him, reveling at all he'd been given in these short few hours. To be included, to have friends – or at least friendly acquaintances – before classes even started was more than a boy who'd spent the last six years of life with no one to talk to but his parents was more than he'd ever imagined. He knew it couldn't last, but right now, he was unspeakably happy.

/

Peter gasped appreciatively when the feast suddenly appeared on the table before him. It was more food than he'd ever seen – mounds of roasted and mashed potatoes, piles of peas, and heaps of glazed carrots, flanked by massive cuts of meat of all kinds. There was herbed Yorkshire pudding, savory scones and rolls and desserts galore.

He watched the others carefully. Remus took some of the Yorkshire pudding, a large slice of the roast beef, carrots and potatoes. The boy had a small smile on his face.

Sirius had chosen three pieces of the baked chicken, four scones, and a large dollop of mashed potatoes. James had gone for the turkey – two slices - and bread stuffing with some carrots, peas, and the roasted potatoes.

Peter grinned and made his move, grabbing the chicken, roast beef, and turkey, along with both types of potatoes, all of the vegetables on the table, and two types of stuffing.

Sirius whistled. "You're going to eat all that?" He asked.

Peter smiled shyly. "I like food," he said simply.

"Whof doesn'?" James said through a mouthful of stuffing. He swallowed. "And hey – this is almost as good as my mother's cooking. Almost."

"My mother doesn't cook," Sirius said, biting into a scone. A blissful expression crossed his face. "And this is delicious – pass the butter will you?"

The four boys chatted amongst themselves and with some of the older students throughout dinner. A dark-skinned prefect named Kingsley Shacklebolt introduced himself and explained that they could come to him with any questions they may have. He warned them of trick steps and moving staircases, and informed them not all of the portraits were entirely reliable for directions. Remus appeared to listen with great interest when Shacklebolt began detailing the expansive offerings at the library, and the free post owls made available to students. James and Sirius appeared to listen hard when Shacklebolt mentioned that there were passageways and shortcuts all around the castle, if you could find them. Peter was most fascinated by the prefect's description of the kitchens, which were apparently directly below the Great Hall and manned by a small army of house elves.

After a delightful meal and two helpings of dessert, Peter was feeling rather tired, but very content. As he yawned and stretched, he saw Professor Dumbledore stand at the staff table and raise an arm for silence.

"Welcome back, and welcome for the first time to our first year students," Dumbledore said in his calm, rather musical voice. "I know that you're all undoubtedly excited to return, whether that's because of lessons or other activities I can't be sure." His eyes flicked pointedly to the Gryffindor table and a group of fifth years chuckled, obviously understanding some joke that Peter did not. "A few staff announcements are in order." The headmaster raised his hand toward a young man to his left. Professor McGilvary has agreed to sign on for a year as our Defense Against the Dark Arts professor – he has done great amounts of research for the Ministry on the subject and I expect he will have much to offer, and I'm sure you will all make him feel welcome." This time, Dumbledore's eyes appeared to flicker toward the Slytherin table.

The students all clapped politely.

"Secondly, I am pleased to announce that Professor McGonagall has been promoted to Deputy Headmistress." The stern looking witch nodded and gave a small smile.

"Now, a few quick rules to go over," Dumbledore said, turning back to the student body. "First, I must stress that the Forbidden Forest is, as its name suggests, forbidden. No students may enter the forest without a staff member. While I am loathe to discourage curiosity in young minds, this is a point I must insist upon, as it is for your own protection."

"I wonder what's in there," James said quietly in Peter's ear.

"Second, for those who are not already aware, last spring we were lucky enough to acquire a Whomping Willow, which has been transplanted with great care near the lake. Whomping Willows, are, of course, a very rare and rather violent species. As such, students and staff alike should steer clear unless they fancy a trip to the hospital wing."

"Why would they plant something dangerous like that on school grounds?" Peter asked. He noticed Remus' face tighten, and he wondered if the other boy was concerned for his safety as he was.

"I expect it has some kind of beneficial magical properties," Shacklebolt told them. "You should see what they have in the greenhouses – mandrakes, whose cries are fatal, come to mind. But the leaves are right useful in potions."

Dumbledore made a few other comments about general school rules, but Peter began to daydream. It had been odd being sorted - the hat had struggled back and forth between Gryffindor and Slytherin - though Peter couldn't see what Slytherin characteristics he possessed. He was not particularly cunning, though he was rather good at chess, which he was often told was a game of strategy. He was not pureblood - or if he was his family certainly couldn't trace it back far enough to be relevant. He did not consider himself particularly ambitious or determined. But then again, what Gryffindor traits did he possess? He did not think himself particularly brave or daring. He liked the idea of chivalry, but had he ever really displayed it?

At first his sorting had made him swell with pride, but now he was having doubts. What if the hat had made a mistake? After all, his mother had been a Hufflepuff. And his father...well he had no idea what house his father had been in.

He was pulled from this line of thinking when he realized the speech was ending - Dumbledore had wished them all a happy year and dismissed them off to bed.

Peter stood to join the others as they left the Great Hall, thinking he may have been better off in Hufflepuff.

/

"Sirius!" Sirius and his three new friends all turned at the sound of his name, and he groaned inwardly. Narcissa and Andromeda had run over from the Slytherin table as soon as the students had been dismissed from the feast. It had been quite an interesting start off to school – what with the headmaster warning them not to explore the Forbidden Forest, and cautioning them not to get to close to an apparently bloodthirsty tree called the Whomping Willow, and then wishing them a good term. Sirius hardly wanted that marred by a shake-down.

"Hi Cissy, Dromeda," he muttered. He was not happy to see his cousins, knowing how his family would feel about what just happened.

"Are you all right?" Andromeda asked, sounding concerned. "Gryffindor – what a shock."

"There must be a mistake!" Narcissa said more fiercely. "No Black has ever been sorted anywhere but Slytherin. Are you feeling okay? Perhaps you have a fever that's addled your brain and the hat couldn't get a good sense…" She reached up as if to put a hand on his forehead but James smacked it away.

"His brain is just fine," James said harshly. "And what a thing to say."

Narcissa glared at him. "This is family business. It doesn't concern you. Now run along little one." She made a motion as though shooing away a dog.

"I feel fine, Narcissa," Sirius said quickly, seeing James flush with irritation and wanting to avoid a scene. "I suppose I'm just not Slytherin material." He was still coming to terms with what he'd just done. The sorting hat had given him a choice - no one had ever mentioned that he might have a choice. He couldn't decide if he was thrilled or bitter about this. He'd never got on with his parents, it was true, and some of their ideas about purifying the wizarding race were positively barbaric, but he'd never imagined to find himself in this spot, so separated from every single Black before him. It had been impulsive -and what if it had been a terrible mistake?

"But you're the heir to House of Black!" Narcissa cried, looking pained. "There must be some mistake…" She spoke his fears aloud.

"There's no mistake," James once again spoke up in Sirius's defense. "Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor, clearly that's where he belongs. "Maybe he'll ring in a new era for House Black – one that's less unsavory that the current one."

"James…" Remus whispered, and Sirius wondered if the skinny boy was about to scold James for a rude comment the same way he'd scolded him at the sorting. But he was quickly distracted by that thought, for Narcissa looked positively furious and took a step forward as though to slap James. Thankfully, Andromeda put a hand on her shoulder and she paused.

"We all have to find our own way in life," she said softly. "Maybe this is Sirius's way of doing that." She smiled at him sadly. "Your mother won't be happy about it though."

"I know," Sirius said, scratching at his head in absentminded worry and frustration. "But I'd look a right fool trying to argue with a damn hat." He couldn't take back what he'd done now - and the hat had promised him it was a good fit. It promised. He thought a bit desperately.

"True." Andromeda turned to go, steering a still seething Narcissa along with her.

"Your family has got some messed up priorities," James said as they walked away. "Is being sorted into another house really that bad? Slytherin turns out more dark wizards than the rest of the houses combined – I'd be right thrilled to break tradition on that."

"Yes." Sirius said shortly. "I don't feel like explaining." He was suddenly very tired. "And you know just because you've known me a whole five hours doesn't mean you can run your mouth about my family," he snapped. Though he knew James had been defending him, his interference would only complicate family relations. And his family was the type to retaliate.

James looked offended. "I was trying to have your back!"

"Yeah, well –" Sirius started to raise his voice.

"I think the intentions were good, but the execution could have been better," Remus chimed in before Sirius could come up with a nasty retort. He was actually glad of that – his temper sometimes got the best of him and he didn't want to burn bridges over Narcissa, of all people.

"I guess that's fair…." James said after a moment. "Sorry mate."

"Umm…guys, shouldn't we be getting to the common room about now?" Sirius had quite forgotten about Peter's existence until the boy spoke. He was right – the Great Hall was all but empty now and a Gryffindor prefect was standing at the door tapping his foot impatiently.

"Sorry, sorry," James said casually to the older boy as the four scurried through. The prefect didn't say anything, but he did smile good-naturedly as he led them through a series of twisting corridors up.

That in itself was a shock to Sirius, who had always imagined life as a Slytherin, where the common room was down below the lake. But up and up they went until they reached a painting of a rather fat woman who was currently enjoying some grapes.

"Password?" She asked.

"Niffler," the prefect, who Sirius vaguely remembered was named Shacklebolt, said. The portrait swung open to a short tunnel and the boys scrambled inside.

"Wow…" Sirius whistled. The Gryffindor common room was in a tower. It was decorated with red and gold, with cheery squishy armchairs and tables littered throughout, and a huge stone fireplace. The ceilings were high and Sirius imagined that by day the light filtered in through the windows for a bright, warm feel.

"Your dormitory is up those stairs and to the right," Shacklebolt told them, pointing to a staircase. "Your trunks are already up there, and there's a washroom for you to clean up."

"Thank you," Sirius heard Remus say politely as he and James raced up the stairs. His legs were longer, so he reached the door marked "First Years" first, and slammed it open with excitement.

"Perfect, it's just us four," James said between panting as he came up from behind. "I want the bed by the window!" He shoved Sirius aside and jumped on the bed in question.

Sirius laughed and flopped down on the next bed. "Remus, Peter, get up here!" Sirius yelled.

Remus appeared seconds later. He looked around the room slowly as he entered, taking it all in.

"These are full sized beds," he said when his line of sight reached the bed.

"Well sure, they can't be giving us king-sized beds like at home – they wouldn't all fit," James said.

Remus shook his head. "I have a twin at home…"

"Oh…" James looked confused. "Like bunk beds?" Remus shook his head. "But isn't that terribly uncomfortable when you have friends stay over and you all want to stay in the same room and tell monster stories?"

"I've never had friends stay over," Remus mused, almost to himself. He flopped down on the bed next to Sirius and stretched out as though experiencing the luxury for the first time ever. "But this is great."

Sirius, as heir to House of Black, also had a massive four-poster bed at home, a bit bigger than the dormitory ones, but the mattress was comfortable and seeing the content look on Remus' face kept him from making a boastful comment he might have otherwise.

Finally Peter reached the room, right as James said "Well now every night will be like a sleepover. We can stay up late telling tales of vampires and banshees and boggarts."

"Boggarts aren't scary," Sirius scoffed.

"Don't boggarts take the form of your worst fear?" Peter asked, short of breath from the climb up the stairs. "That sounds pretty scary."

"There's a simple incantation to overpower them," Remus said, sounding almost like a textbook. "Riddikulus."

"How do you know that?" Sirius asked, interested. His house was full of spell-books full of all kinds of darker magic, but they were missing ones on magical creatures. He supposed his parents didn't consider that information worthy of having – banishing small nuisances was apparently beneath them.

"My father is rather the expert on such things," Remus explained. "That's actually how he met my mother – he was searching for a boggart in the forest and came across it while it was terrorizing my Muggle mother."

"Still, I'll bet they're really scary," Peter shuddered. Sirius resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Well, I'm exhausted. I'm going to wash up," Remus said. Sirius watched curiously as the boy took his pajamas out along with a toothbrush and toothpaste.

"You're going to change in the washroom?" Sirius asked. "What for? There are no girls here."

Remus stopped, then blushed. "I'd just rather have my privacy," he said.

"To each his own," James called from his bed. He himself was already wiggling out of his robes and into a nightshirt. "Oh bugger!" he said suddenly, freezing with only one arm in the shirt. "We forgot about the armor prank!"

"We'll have plenty of time for pranks tomorrow, Potter," Sirius said, laughing.

"We need to make a pranking schedule," James said Sirius. "Remus, Peter, you'll help won't you?"

Remus looked very much like he didn't want to. "I guess…" he said finally from the washroom door. "But I'll need to hear what these pranks are first."

"Brilliant." James said happily. "We'll get started tomorrow then."

Sirius tore off his own robes in one swift movement and lied down on his bed. Tomorrow there would be post. He wondered what his mother would be sending him…

/

James unpacked his trunk slowly, careful not to unfold his clothing as he stored pieces away in the bureau next to his bed meant for that purpose.

"I have so many plans," he said to Sirius, who was ripping clothing and other belongings out of his trunk so quickly it made his head spin. "Did you know there are parts of the castle that have only just been discovered? The founders added all kinds of magical tricks and secret areas and they didn't leave anyone a full account! I can't wait to explore. Of course we'll need to avoid that nasty caretaker – he seems like a piece of work.

Sirius shrugged. "I'm more interested in the outdoors than the castle, to be honest. You don't get space like this in London."

"True – I wonder if we could get a good game of pickup Quidditch going," James mused.

"First years aren't allowed brooms," Peter pointed out.

James shrugged. "So we'll borrow someone else's."

"Or just nick 'em," Sirius said. At this point he'd managed to remove every single item from his trunk and there was a massive pile on his bed.

"You can't do that!" Peter said. "If you're caught you'll be expelled!"

"So we won't get caught," James said. He began to examine the storage spaces he'd been given above his headboard and under the bed, deliberating over where to put everything. He decided his class-related things would be placed in the drawers under the bed, so he wouldn't have to look at them outside lessons. He began putting his more highly valued items, like the Muggle yo-yo his father had procured for him the past summer and his copy of "Quidditch through the Ages" up top. Of course his wand would go there as well.

When he pulled his wand out he felt a sudden burst of homesickness, thinking of his mother and father. Immediately upon returning home his father had sat him down and given him a lecture about the responsible use of magic, only to grin and show him several basic spells once the lecture was complete. His father had regaled him with tales of his own duels during his school years, which were plentiful due to his unique name that seemed to beg for torment. Later that night his mother had served a meal of steak-and-kidney pie and treacle tarts, one of his favorites. After dinner they lit a fire in the sitting room and both his parents had recalled stories of their time as students, including ones he was surprised. His mother, who he always thought of as such a proper lady, recounted how she and a friend in their seventh year once snuck into the Prefect bathroom hoping for a proper soak, only to find it already occupied by the poor male fifth-year Hufflepuff Prefect, who was perfectly naked about to get in the bath.

"The poor boy grabbed a washcloth to cover up, but it was rather too small to do him much good," she'd said, giggling at the memory. James had been both impressed and a little mortified to hear his mother speak in such a way, but his father had roared with laughter at the story.

James had never spent more than a night or two away from his parents, and despite his excitement at being at school, he suddenly felt a deep longing to smell his mother's perfume and his father's pipe.

"You okay there Potter?" Sirius Black brought him back to reality. "You went quiet Seems out of character for you."

"Oh, just thinking about how to kick off tomorrow," James said, hoping his voice didn't sound as falsely cheery to Sirius as it did to himself. He couldn't admit to missing his parents in front of the other boys – they'd think him such a ninny. He placed his wand in the highest point of honor on his headboard shelves, then continued unpacking. But as he crawled into bed, he felt it would be impossible to sleep well without a good kiss goodnight from his mother.


	4. A Red and Gold Black

Pranks. Pranks! Of course his dormitory mates would be aspiring troublemakers. Remus's heart was racing unnecessarily fast as he stood in front of the washroom mirror. How could he engage in any kind of bad behavior when it was such a privilege for him to be at Hogwarts at all? How could he repay the headmaster's gift by sending armor flying apart in the halls, or hexing the professors' hats or even just wandering past curfew?

James Potter seemed so bright and full of pent up energy. And then there was Sirius Black, full of sarcastic humor and effortless charm. And little Peter Pettigrew, like Remus, so anxious be included, and also intriguing - the boy was complicated enough to be a Hatstall.

Remus so badly wanted to be included in the group. He knew it was silly – he'd never had friends before, surely he would survive without them. But there was something about the casual way that James already brought them all together that made Remus very much want to be his friend.

The young werewolf splashed cold water on his face, trying to reign in his sudden panic. He shouldn't be agonizing over such trivial things. Classes started tomorrow, and this would be his chance for the education he never thought he deserved. It was important not to squander this chance – he should focus on his studies, not social pursuits. He would become a skilled wizard and make his parents proud – he would become a skilled wizard that could hold the werewolf at bay during the full moon – that would be able to contain himself and avoid hurting others. If he was lucky, he may become so skilled that he could travel the world working odd jobs and having lovely adventures, never staying some place too long in order to keep his secret safe.

Yes – that was the plan, and he must stick to it. He would be polite to his dorm mates, but he could not let them drag him into any kind of mischief. His must keep his nose clean, so Dumbledore wouldn't regret his choice.

Remus brushed his teeth quickly and changed into pajamas before returning to the bedroom. Peter had already pulled the curtains around his bed and Remus thought he could hear a dull snoring coming from within. James had left his curtains open, but his lamp was out and Remus could see that he was already curled up with his back to the room, facing the window. The gentle rise and fall of his back suggested that he was also already asleep.

But Sirius was still awake, though lying prone on the bed in nothing but underthings.

"Hey Remus – can you believe these two? Asleep already," Sirius kept his voice down to avoid disturbing the others. "I'm too excited to sleep. You?"

"I am pretty excited to start classes," Remus admitted.

Sirius wrinkled his nose nd Remus feared he had said the wrong thing. "I'm not talking about lessons, mate. I'm talking about Hogwarts! The castle, the adventure! And being away from home of course," he said, sounding slightly bitter.

"Is your family really going to be upset that you were sorted into Gryffindor?" Remus asked, remembering the altercation with the Black cousins earlier. He couldn't imagine – his father was thrilled, though apprehensive, that his son was going to school at all. Remus planned to write his parents tomorrow about his sorting. Mother probably wouldn't understand the significance of a sorting, but Father would, and Remus was sure he'd be proud no matter what house he'd wound up in.

"Oh, Mum will be hopping mad," Sirius said casually. "She's a Black both by marriage and by birth. She'll see this as a grievous insult." He paused. "Maybe that's a good thing. I'm always looking for ways to get under her skin, and as long as I'm here she can't do much by way of punishment."

"She'll punish you for your sorting?!" Remus, said a little louder than he'd expected. "Surely she understands it wasn't done intentionally, it's simply in your nature."

"Well, that nature is exactly what she'll be upset about," Sirius said darkly. "I've already made her angry enough over the years, wondering over the Muggle world and even having the audacity to speak to them once and awhile. Mum - she has a certain idea of the type of people she wants her children around."

"None of us can control the state of our nature, or what happens in life around us," Remus said, thinking of the cursed wound on his shoulder. "We can only control our actions and how we react to everything, right?"

Sirius blinked and then nodded. "Exactly. You speak my language," he said. "I'Il be judging people on their character, not their blood. And I happen to know that some of these pureblood prats my mother fawns over have questionable characters, at best. Also, I'm not going to marry some distant cousin just to keep my blood pure!"

Remus was having a hard time following. "What exactly do you mean by that?" He asked.

"Oh right. Potter was raised in a pureblood house as well so he knew what I meant when we were talking on the train earlier – but you said your mum's a Muggle right? So you probably don't discuss pureblood politics in your house much, huh?"

Even if regular mixed wizarding families discussed pureblood politics, the Lupins didn't discuss much outside the current political plight of werewolves, but Remus certainly couldn't explain that to Sirius, so he just nodded.

"Right. So, short version – I'm the heir to House of Black, a pureblood house with some rather antiquated ideas about wizardings mixing with Muggles. Mainly, the idea is that wizards should never mix with Muggles. They think Muggle-borns have somehow stolen magic, and half-bloods are traitors to wizarding kind. I suspect it's all rubbish of course - if you could steal magic, there wouldn't be any Squibs right? Don't judge me too harshly on it." Sirius looked almost like he needed reassurance that Remus wouldn't reject him over it.

"You speak so openly about it," Remus said, sensing that Sirius's rejection of his family's attitudes cost the boy more than he was letting on.

"Well, my family's not exactly the under-the-radar type," Sirius said. "If you asked about House of Black, I'm sure people would tell you. I'd rather you hear it from me, before you get weird ideas about how I'm going to hex you in your sleep because your mum's a Muggle." He grinned crookedly.

Remus was far more concerned about being cursed for being a werewolf, so the thought of his half-blood status being an issue hadn't even occurred to him. "Are there people who would do that?" He asked, unhappy to think there was another thing about himself that separated him from other students.

"Plenty in Slytherin," Sirius said. "Gryffindor I doubt it. That's why my sorting will be such a family crisis. You heard my cousin Narcissa. She and Andromeda probably wouldn't hurt you, but they wouldn't associate with you either." He shook his head ruefully.

"I understand," Remus said, wrapping his head around it. He was no stranger to prejudices in the wizarding world, and the cruel lengths people sometimes went to because of those ideas. His father always reminded him that even if the majority of people believed a stereotype, that didn't mean it was right, and that he had to make conclusions about everyone and everything on a individual basis. "So is James' family like that as well?"

"The Potters?" Sirius barked, a little too loudly, and James stirred slightly in his sleep, but thankfully didn't wake. "Absolutely not. James may be from the pureblood branch, but the Potters have been marrying their neighbors and friends for centuries, and many of them were Muggles. No worries there."

"How do you know all that?" Remus asked.

"My family made me study a genealogy of pureblood wizarding families as a child," Sirius said, as if that were perfectly normal. He yawned. "Ack, sorry for talking your ear off – I guess I just wanted to get that stuff off my chest now, before everyone's gossiping about the wayward Black tomorrow. Thanks for listening." He stretched dramatically then rolled over onto his side.

"Anytime," Remus said, meaning it. He was glad to be useful.

The next morning everyone _was_ talking about the wayward Black, primarily because of what Sirius received in the post.

"Damn," Sirius said as a handsome screech owl dropped a red envelope in front of him at breakfast.

"Is that a Howler?" James asked, poking it with his fork.

"Yep," Sirius said glumly. "Might as well get it bloody over with." He ripped the thing open.

"SIRIUS BLACK. SHAME OF MY FLESH. DEMON SPRUNG FROM MY LOINS!" A woman's voice boomed over the Great Hall. Remus, startled, knocked over his glass of pumpkin juice as Peter covered his ears. "A BLACK IN GRYFFINDOR?! HOW DARE YOU?! HOW DARE YOU CHOOSE THE BLOOD TRAITOR HOUSE INSTEAD OF THE HOUSE OF YOUR ANCESTORS?! WHERE IS YOUR AMBITION? WHERE IS YOUR PUREBLOOD PRIDE! WOULD YOU RATHER ASSOCIATE WITH MUDFLOOD FILTH? YOU BRING SUCH DISGRACE TO THIS FAMILY!" The bodiless voice shrieked over the din of the students gathered for breakfast. Other students were looking over at Sirius, and most of the expressions were not kind.

"I CONDEMN THIS! YOUR FATHER CANNOT BEAR TO SHOW HIS FACE TO HIS OWN FAMILY. IS THIS WHAT YOU WANTED, YOU ROTTEN, UNGRATEFUL DISGRACE OF A CHILD? I RUE THE DAY YOU WERE BORN!"

"What kind of mother is that woman?!" James cried as soon as he could be heard. "As if you had a choice. As if you picked Gryffindor just to spite her! And to use such foul language!" He was waving his knife around in the air. "I'd love to give her a piece of my mind."

"It's fine, James," Sirius said, blushing red and trying to ignore all the eyes on him. Remus noted that despite his words, Sirius looked fairly unnerved.

"It is NOT fine," James roared indignantly. "That's verbal abuse! And undignified! And how did she already know about your sorting, anyway?"

"I'm sure Narcissa wrote immediately," Sirius muttered. "Going on about how there must have been some kind of mistake."

"There's no mistake!" James said fiercely. "You belong in Gryffindor with me and Peter and Remus – oi – Remus! You're covered in pumpkin juice." He abandoned his tirade and began tossing napkins on the other boy's lap to help sop up the mess.

"I didn't realize Howlers would be so loud," Remus said, self-conscious. "I jumped a bit."

"We certainly wish parents would utilize other forms of communication for a scolding." The boys turned to see Professor McGonagall had arrived to present them with their schedules. "But unfortunately some parents seem to think public humiliation is the best means to their ends. And some even use offense slurs without considering the ramifications of subjecting their child to such language." She looked at Sirius pointedly. "Now, Mr. Black, don't let your mother's words allow you to doubt that you'll find success in this house. I'm sure the sorting hat had its reasons for putting you here."

Remus thought that was a tactful way of trying to cheer Sirius up, but he wasn't sure his new friend would take it to heart.

The witch turned to Remus and waved her wand, drying his clothing of the spill. "Mr. Lupin, I need to see you in my office for just a quick minute before you head to class. You can catch up with your friends in Charms." She handed each boy a schedule. "Now hurry along – I won't have Gryffindors losing house points for tardiness."

Remus got up and followed McGonagall to her office, which was a tidy but well-decorated room with a merry fire going in the fireplace, which offset the draftiness of the castle.

"Now, Mr. Lupin, I'm sure you realize why I wanted to speak with you privately," she began. "Take a seat, this won't take long."

Remus sat in the armchair across from the desk, unsure of how to respond. He knew Dumbledore would be informing his head of house about the lycanthropy, but what he hadn't known was what attitude to expect.

McGonagall sat at her desk across from him. "Now, I believe in speaking honestly and candidly with children, because as a professor my job is to help my students prepare for the adult world and what better way to do that? So, I will tell you this. I know the things that are said, I know the debate over the werewolf registry and the legal status of those with your condition, as I imagine your parents have discussed with you at some point, yes?"

Remus nodded. He was very tense, unclear on what to make of this monologue. It was inevitable that the number of people who knew his secret would increase when he reached Hogwarts, but it was a terrifying idea to reconcile. He didn't know what reactions to expect, even from those the wise Dumbledore trusted with the knowledge.

"Now, all that said, I was indeed a bit shocked to learn of what Professor Dumbledore had done, allowing admittance to a young werewolf. But, I have great respect for the headmaster's judgment. I imagine you and your family have suffered a great deal from your condition, and I want you to know that I will do everything in my power to protect your secret, and to ensure that you receive the quality education any young mind deserves."

She paused. "I have never met a young werewolf, and certainly never taught one, and I will not pretend I am immune to some of the prejudices of my upbringing. But as an educated woman I'm fully aware that there is only one day a month you are anything remotely dangerous, and I can appreciate how the headmaster must have felt it was pointless to punish you for something you can scarcely help. As you are here, which I'm sure took great courage, and as I understand it you come with the drive to learn and to prepare yourself for a future. I would like very much to get to know you, and to be a resource for you whenever you need it." She gave him a small smile.

Remus blinked, trying to hold back tears of relief. Professor McGonagall was direct, and perhaps a bit less gentle than Dumbledore had been on speaking with him for the first time, but her quick acceptance of his condition and her willingness to acknowledge that he had suffered at the hands of prejudice that she wanted to push aside was clearly honest. He was grateful to have found an ally.

"Thank you, Professor," he said politely. "I very much want to be here, and to get my education.

"Well then I won't keep you from it any longer," she said, standing up. "Come along, I'll walk you to Professor Flitwick's classroom."

/

"What do you think McGonagall needed Lupin for?" James asked Sirius in Charms while Professor Flitwick was taking attendance. The other boy was still brooding over the Howler at breakfast, but James was determined to distract from it.

The other boy shrugged. "She's our Head of House isn't she? I suppose she's the one to talk to about any personal issues."

"True." James didn't consider himself to have any personal issues, and he couldn't possibly imagine any coming up that would be urgent enough to talk to McGonagall. Though after the events at breakfast James had been surprised about the casual way McGonagall spoke subtle words of comfort about the Howler. The woman seemed rather stern, but she also seemed to have her pupils' best interests at heart.

"Black, Sirius?" Flitwick called out from his register. There was a dull murmur from the other students - clearly everyone had heard the Howler at breakfast. James resolved to do his best to defend his new friend - he hadn't known him long, but he could already tell Sirius was struggling with his family's reputation.

"Yo!" Sirius said, raising his hand.

The professor nodded and made a mark on his parchment, continuing down the line.

James was looking around the classroom – as this was the first class, it was his first good look at his fellow Gryffindor first-years. One of the older students had told him they were one of the largest classes in years - which accounted for the multiple dormitories. He spotted the red-head girl from the train – he vaguely remembered from sorting that her last name was Evans.

"Corsica, Eliza?" Flitwick called. A girl with olive skin and curly brown hair raised her hand.

"Denbright, Roger?" A small boy with a buzz cut and pale eyebrows raised his hand.

"Evans, Lily?" The red-head with the striking green eyes raised her hand. James thought it was a shame she was such a stick in the mud – she was very pretty.

"Fawley, Alice?" Flitwick called. A girl with dark blonde hair and a rather round face raised her hand. James tuned out again.

"Fraser, Elena?"

"Here!" A girl with long dark hair sitting next to a girl who must have been her twin sister.

"Then you must be Fraser, Jenny?" Flitwick said. The twin nodded.

James was beginning to lose interest and tuned out. "What do you suppose we'll do first?" he asked Sirius.

"I don't know, but I've tried a few charms at home already and they're great fun," he finally smiled for the first time that morning. "We should try our hands at a prank or two in class today. I've heard Flitwick is a friendly sort." James decided then and there he would get up to a bit of trouble in class in an effort to make Sirius laugh.

"Lupin, Remus?" James perked up at his friend's name.

"He'll be along in a bit, professor," James said. "He had a quick matter to discuss with Professor McGonagall."

"His Head of House, of course," Flitwick made a little mark on his sheet and continued onward.

Right as he reached Pettigrew, Peter, the classroom door opened and Professor McGonagall stuck her head in. "Sorry to interrupt, Professor. I'm just returning Mr. Lupin to you – I had to borrow him for a quick word."

"Of course, of course," Flitwick said. "Come in, Mr. Lupin."

Remus walked in and looked around uncertainly for a seat. James and Sirius waved him over –they'd had the foresight to save him a seat between Sirius and Peter. When Remus spotted them he smiled gratefully and quickly sat down.

"Potter, James?" James raised his hand casually.

Once Flitwick made it through the list, the fun began.

"Now, the theory of Charms is simple," the elfish professor told them. "The spells you'll learn in this class add certain properties to an object without changing its overall nature. For beginners, it is easiest to take something that is already prone to a certain property, though a well-trained witch or wizard can cast all manner of charms on all manner of objects. I find practical lessons are most effective in this subject, so wands out!"

James pulled his wand out of his pocket excitedly and placed it on his desk. Flitwick waved his wand and feathers appeared on the desks before them.

"Today, we will be attempting the levitation charm, Wingardium Leviosa." Flitwick waved his wand again and all the feathers floated off the desks. "The key to this particular spell is to swish and flick." He moved his wand again to demonstrate.

James was positively bubbling with anticipation. His father had already shown him this particular spell and he was quite confident he could pull it off on more than just a feather.

"Sirius, mate, this is the spell!" He whispered.

Sirius glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes. "So what do you propose, Potter?"

"I propose a perfectly practical prank, following the principles the professor provided."

"James, you can't really mean to cause trouble in the very first class," Remus hissed from Sirius' other side.

"Shhhh, Remus, you shouldn't talk while the professor is explaining," James responded. Remus, looking annoyed, turned back to the piece of parchment he was taking notes on. Peter, on his other side, was looking over at James and Sirius curiously but was too far to make conversation without drawing the professor's notice.

"Now, everyone pair off – that way we have enough feathers – and begin practicing," Flitwick said.

"Now, on my count, the partner on the left - swish and flick...Three...two...one."

"Wingardium Leviosa!" The class chanted. Sirius had gone first - seeing as James already knew he could perform the spell. His feather floated gently into the air. Remus had also succeeded, and had almost a look of wonder of his face. James wondered if it was the first magic Remus had tried to perform.

James clapped his hands together. "Great, next time, aim for the books on Flitwick's desk."

"James!" Remus had heard and had a look on his face that reminded James of his mother.

"I'll go now," James said. "Wingardium leviosa!" He aimed for a chair, and despite being a rather heavy and sturdy wooden piece of furniture, it flew into the air.

"Oh my, Mr. Potter!" the professor said, running up to him. "Good work, but you need to work on your aim." He waved his wand and the chair came down gracefully.

"Wingardium leviosa!" Sirius said, getting excited. He'd aimed for the books on the professor's desk as James had suggested, and now they were flying in the air. Only it was much more difficult to control multiple items at once, and they started to come falling down.

"Ouch!" Lily Evans and Eliza Corsica cried as they both were knocked in the head by Sirius' poorly controlled subjects. James burst out laughing.

"Mr. Black! You didn't even try to aim for the feather!" Flitwick said, waving his wand.

"Sorry, professor, got a little excited is all," Sirius said. "Sorry ladies!" he called over to their classmates. Evans scowled, but Corsica shrugged and gave him a little smile. At least she had a sense of humor.

The class devolved into chaos - it seemed even trying to aim several of the students managed to hit stray items on the desks. Some went floating into the air, some flopped around, and Peter somehow set a feather on fire. James had thrown caution to the wind now - he wasn't even pretending to aim for the feather. Instead he shot at everything that wasn't bolted down. Camouflaged by the frenzy of activity, he may have gotten away with sending books and chairs and chalk around the room - but he miscalculated when aiming for one of the Fraser's bags and hit Professor Flitwick instead.

"Oh no…" the professor said as he flew into the air, flipping upside-down. "Mr. Potter, while I'm pleased to see your skill level is so advanced, I'm going to have to give you detention for this…."

Sirius was laughing hysterically, along with several other members of the class. Peter was chuckling, and even Remus had a small smile on his face, though he was shaking his head. James reveled in the attention.

"Seems reasonable, professor," he said, a bit sheepishly. He waved his wand and gently guided the professor to the floor. The goal had been to cause general disorder, not to get detention on the first day, but hey, occupational hazard. His mother would understand.

"Thank you," Flitwick said, brushing his robes back into place. He tapped his glasses thoughtfully. "Five points to Gryffindor for the impressive skills, Mr. Potter, Mr. Black. But next class, stick to the assigned object. Mr. Potter, stay after class so we can work out your detention."

James was grinning. Clearly Flitwick was the kind to appreciate a good old performance. James made note of this for future reference.

/

Peter was sweating, and it had nothing to do with the temperature in the room.

Charms had been a a dismal failure for him - he'd somehow managed to set his feather on fire instead of floating it in the air. To add insult to injury, his three new friends seemed particularly gifted - James had sent an actual person flying through the air, for Merlin's sake. Sirius had mastered the spell almost immediately as well, and even Remus, who'd told Peter he'd never tried any magic at home, sent his feather flying into the air on the first try.

And now they were in Transfiguration, and he was having absolutely no luck changing his match into a needle. He'd only understood half of what Professor McGonagall had said in the first place, and struggled to take notes.

He tried to remind himself that it was only the first day, and plenty of other students seemed to be failing at the task set before them as well. But yet again James appeared to be at the top of the class - his match still had a decidedly round end but it was already sleek and silver, and anyone with eyes could see that he was going to accomplish the task by the end of class.

It seemed Sirius and Remus were struggling more in this class than they had in Charms, which made Peter feel better.

"Are you having any luck?" he asked Remus, who was to his right.

"Not really. She said to visualize a key component of what you're trying to transform it into, but so far nothing."

"Right, visualize, of course." Peter had forgotten that part - he made a mental note to ask Remus for his notes later.

"Oh, bugger," Sirius muttered as his match suddenly caught fire at the end. "That's not what I was going for. He picked it up and threw it carelessly toward a wastebasket, but that proved to be a mistake - there was parchment in the trash and it promptly went up in flames.

"Mr. Black, do be more careful," Professor McGonagall said, putting it out with her wand and handing him another match.

"But Professor," Sirius said cheekily, "isn't that the whole point of matches? Don't Muggles use them to start fire?"

She turned and looked at him. "Are you cold, Mr. Black?" she asked.

"Huh?" Sirius looked confused.

"Are you cold?"

"No ma'am."

"Then there's no need to set fire in the classroom, through Muggle or magical means. Return to the assignment please."

Peter and a few other students chuckled when Sirius stuck his tongue out as the professor moved her eyes off of him. It was obvious after less than two days of knowing him that Sirius was the type that naturally drew attention - even though this morning's attention had been the bad kind.

Peter thought back to the Howler. His mother yelled at him from time to time, but never so harshly as Sirius' mother had through that Howler. The whole thing had been rather frightening. But Sirius had shrugged it off and somehow ignored the stares and whispers as they'd walked down the halls earlier. Peter wished he had confidence like that.

"Professor!" James called out, his voice excited. "I think I've done it - take a look!"

McGonagall walked briskly between the desks until she reached James. "Good work, Mr. Potter." She held up a perfectly smooth silver needle for the class to see. "It certainly looks like a needle, though it's a bit dull. See if you can sharpen the points a bit more by the end of class."

"Challenge accepted, Professor," James said, saluting her before taking the needle back.

A few minutes later another voice spoke up. "Professor, I think I may have done it…" This time it was Lily Evans who'd spoken. Again McGonagall walked over to the desk and lifted the work for everyone to see.

"Excellent work, Miss Evans," McGonagall told her. "Sharp enough to begin needlework right here and now. Five points to Gryffindor."

The girl smiled, and Peter sighed. It was obvious that even with hard work, he wouldn't be top of the class.

By the end of the period Peter hadn't managed to transfigure his match, but he had managed not to set it on fire. Sirius had turned his match pointy at the ends, but it still felt like soft matchstick wood, and Remus had turned his in color, but not shape or hardness. Peter was afraid one of his three new friends would mock his lack of progress, but no one said anything about it as they hurried outside for Herbology.

"I hear the professor in this class is relatively new," James told them. "Maybe we can stir up a bit of ruckus."

This class the Gryffindors took along with the Hufflepuffs, and James waved to one girl as they walked inside.

"Hiya, Marlene," he said pleasantly. Peter tensed - he wasn't used to talking to girls, and she was rather pretty.

"Hello James," she said in a musical voice. "How're your lessons so far?"

"Brilliant!" He said. "I've managed everything quite easily so far."

She rolled her eyes, but she was smiling. "You would," she said. "Who are your friends?"

James grinned and took her hand in a dramatic gesture. "My dear Marlene, allow me to present one Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Gentlemen, Marlene McKinnon."

"Pleasure," Sirius said, taking her hand from James and touching it to his lips. It was a rather gallant gesture that Peter never would have dared, but she just giggled.

Remus went a more normal route and put out his book-free hand to shake. Peter decided to follow his lead.

"Is James here driving you crazy with all that energy yet?" She asked them. "I remember at my parent's Christmas party one year he decided he wanted to play with the white doves we keep, so he opened the cage and just let them fly wild! They pooped all over the tree and my mum's favorite table runner."

"I didn't know that would happen," James said. "But it was hilarious. That was a great night."

"I'll bet," Sirius said. "Reminds me of the time my mum decided she wanted enchanted candles floating around for Easter dinner, but my brother knocked into one of them and caught his robes on fire." He paused. "Well, not so much knocked into as got it thrown at him. By me. I wanted to see what would happen."

Marlene and James laughed while Remus made a face.

Peter marveled at the easy way James and Sirius carried the conversation. He noticed that most of the class was quiet, still shy and unsure of who to talk to or the right thing to do. That would certainly have been him had he not been standing with James and Sirius.

He was working up the nerve to contribute something to the conversation when the professor walked in. "Good morning class. I'm Professor Sprout - no name jokes please! Let's talk a bit about what I plan to teach you in Herbology…."

/

Sirius had almost managed to forget the ghastly events of the morning in the whirlwind that was the first day of classes, until he saw Narcissa coming around the corner.

"Bugger," he said, grabbing Remus to use as a shield.

"Sirius, what -"

"Don't use my name," Sirius hissed, trying to wiggle between two suits of armor and melt into the wall. Narcissa had been laughing loudly at something Lucius Malfoy had said and had yet to notice his presence.

"Hiding from your problems isn't very Gryffindor-like," James said casually, though he was leaning against the wall in a strange position clearly meant to help Sirius hide from view..

"Shove it, Potter," Sirius grumbled back. It would have been bad enough to run into his cousin alone - but she was with the Malfoy boy. He knew Lucius would have some kind of caustic remark about the scene in the Great Hall at breakfast, and was probably already planning to write his father about how Walburga Black was losing her marbles. The last thing Sirius needed was for gossip about his mother to spread through the ranks and reach her ears - that would give her more reason to direct her fury at him.

Sirius still couldn't believe his mother had gone so far as to send a Howler - surely she realized the entire student body would hear the malicious words. Had that been her intention, or was she so angered by his sorting that all logic had flown out the window?

Luckily, Narcissa and Lucius passed the group without even glancing down for a look at their faces. Sirius sighed and released his death drip on Remus' arms.

"Off to supper then?" James said airily, stepping away from the wall

"I'm not really hungry," Sirius said. Lunch had been a painful affair. He'd held his head high and done his best to convince himself that the whispers and stares meant nothing, but he knew otherwise. The children of pureblood families that might have been his friends now regarded him as a blood traitor, a son that disrespected the values of his ancestors at their very core. Maybe that was true - but he had also effectively alienated the rest of the student body by being born to a woman who screeched damning slurs at her son.

Admittedly, he'd found solace in James Potter, who'd reacted to the Howler with reasonable indignity but focused his grievances on Walburga, not Sirius, and Remus Lupin, who made no comment about the contents of the Howler whatsoever despite his having a Muggle mother. He was even grateful for little Peter Pettigrew, who had been visible disconcerted by the Howler but simply followed James and Sirius out of the Great Hall and later watched their antics in class like they were objects of great reverence, and not despicable troublemakers.

"Don't be stupid, Black, I can hear your stomach rumbling from here," James said. "A boy needs a good meal after a long day's work."

Sirius threw his head back and stared at the stone ceiling for a moment, weighing his options. Go back to the Great Hall and endure the muted persecution of the other students, or hide away in the quiet dorm and forgo dinner like a coward.

"Ugh. Fine. Let's go." He finally said. Going back to the dorm was the easy way out, but nothing about this was going to be easy.

"Great!" James slapped his back in approval.

But Sirius' resolve was shaky when they reached the Great Hall and he saw Andromeda standing at the entrance. He considered fleeing, but with James on one side and Remus and Peter on the other he felt he must be brave.

"Sirius." His cousin strode toward him, her slender ankles peeking out from under her flapping robes. He braced himself for a nasty remark or even a slap, but instead, he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. "You know those things Auntie Burga said aren't true. I'm sure she didn't mean them."

"Are you?" he said, looking up at his cousin and giving her a skeptical look.

Dromeda hesitated. "Sirius, she's your mother."

"Well I don't think it was an appropriate way for a mother to discuss her feelings on her child's sorting, personally," James broke in. "A normal letter would have sufficed." Both Sirius and Andromeda turned to him in irritation.

"Ahh, you again," Andromeda said, looking down on James with her hooded eyes. "Just who are you?"

"James Potter. Pleasure." He held out a hand and Sirius suddenly had the absurd urge to chuckle.

"I see," his cousin said, allowing James to take her hand. Sirius knew she had recognized his surname and was allowing him to touch her in respect of his pureblood status. "And James, you do realize that this is none of your concern, don't you?"

"On the contrary," James said. "Sirius is one of my dear dormmates, and I am deeply concerned about his well-being."

"Is that so?" Dromeda asked, still looking down her nose at the boy. "And I suppose you feel that you, an 11-year-old boy, are in a position to offer unsolicited opinions about things you know nothing about? This is a Black family matter."

James raised an eyebrow and set his jaw stubbornly. "I might not know much about the way the Black family conducts itself behind closed doors, but I do know a thing or two about common decency."

Sirius thought he should step in before things escalated further, but to his surprise, Dromeda laughed – and not a mocking laugh – it sounded genuine.

"Well, I'll admit, Auntie Burga certainly doesn't know much about anything _common_. Perhaps that's to her detriment. But you know it's only because she wants the absolute best for her sons, in her own way." she turned back to Sirius and ruffled his hair the way she often did when he was far smaller.

"Aww, stop it Dromeda," he said, trying to duck away while James rolled his eyes.

"Just keep your head up," she told him. "And remember, no matter what others say, you're a Black."

"But that's the problem," he muttered as she walked away. She didn't turn back, and he was fairly sure she hadn't heard.


	5. Tender Topics and Troublesome Tensions

Remus was settled into his bed with a book and was so engaged that his curtains flying open horribly startled him.

"I can't sleep," Sirius said, crawling into the bed without being invited.

"Why is this my problem?" Remus asked, totally confused and his heart beating a little too quickly.

"Potter and Pettigrew are already asleep," Sirius said. He flopped over onto his back and Remus was forced to wiggle over so they both fit.

"And?" Remus realized he sounded a bit rude, but how else was he to react?

Sirius raised one eyebrow, not used to getting talkback from Remus. "Entertain me, Lupin."

"Can't you find ways to entertain yourself?" Remus responded in a low voice as to not wake the others.

"Not quietly," Sirius countered.

Remus considered this, and decided that from what he'd seen of Sirius so far he understood that line of reasoning. He put aside his book. "Why can't you sleep?"

"Honestly?"

Remus nodded.

"I keep thinking about that Howler my mother sent," Sirius said.

Remus frowned. It was pretty awful for any parent to scold a child in such a public manner, and the words Sirius' mother had used seemed so hateful. But he wasn't sure it was his place to say so. "Is she always so...colorful...in her choice of words?" Remus asked, trying to be delicate.

Sirius snorted. "Oh yeah, nothing I haven't heard before," he assured him. "But I never thought she'd air all her grievances with me in public like that. And on my first day of class…."

Looking at the expression on Sirius' face, Remus realized that the loud boy who came off a bit haughty was probably actually suffering a great deal from the morning's incident and the gossip surrounding him. Everywhere Sirius had gone that day he'd been followed by questioning eyes and judgmental whispers - it hadn't escaped Remus' notice. Sirius had acted as though he hadn't noticed or didn't care, but no one was that oblivious. Remus imagined it wasn't a pleasant way to start off at a new place.

"You did so well in Charms today though," Remus said, trying to cheer him up, and latching on to something he himself would have been pleased to hear. "And everyone seemed to find your little bit of mischief in class quite funny," he added quickly after realizing Sirius probably wasn't as concerned with academics as he was.

"Yeah, that was pretty great." Sirius smiled. "Can't believe I got off scot-free - Potter took the fall without batting an eye - good man."

"I can't believe he got detention on the first day," Remus commented. "And he didn't even seem upset about it!" Remus would have been mortified.

"It's just lines - that's nothing too bad. I've heard sometimes the professors make students clean the trophy room - without magic. Can you imagine how long that would take?"

"A long time," Remus said, thinking of the room full of shiny awards he'd walked by on the way to Transfiguration earlier that day. He resisted the urge to yawn and wondered how long Sirius planned to stay in his bed. Remus wasn't used to spending all his time surrounded by other people - at home he was often left to his own devices while his mother did housework or ran errands and his father was at work.

"You did pretty well in Charms yourself today," Sirius said suddenly. "Not everyone was able to get the feather flying - you did it on your first try."

"You noticed that?" Remus asked, a bit pleased. He'd secretly been terrified that his magic might be lacking because of the lycanthropy, but he had performed well in Charms, and in Transfiguration his skills seemed at least passable.

Sirius nodded. "So did that girl Evans, and the Fawley - I think her name's Alice? Or is it Anna.."

"Alice," Remus said. He'd taken note of all of his classmates names when McGonagall had taken attendance.

"You would remember all the little details," Sirius said. "Fawley's a pureblood, but from what I heard today I think Evans is Muggleborn - but full of brains! I always knew my parents' talk of stolen magic and muddled skill was rubbish. A Muggleborn and a halfblood shaping up to be two of the best in the class! Who would've thought!" He beamed at Remus, who chose not to be offended by the somewhat thoughtless comment. The other boy yawned. "I don't suppose you remember what classes we have tomorrow off the top of your head?"

"History of Magic, then Defense Against the Dark Arts, then Potions," Remus told him. He was very excited about History of Magic - he loved history. It explained so many things about the current world, and as Remus hasn't had a great deal of exposure to that due to his condition, he was always eager to broaden his understanding.

"Right. History of Magic is the one taught by the ghost. Binns I think."

"Taught by a ghost?" Remus asked.

Sirius nodded. "Rumor is that the professor just died one day in the staff room and didn't realize it - floated right into class through the blackboard and started lecturing like any other lesson." He chuckled. "I'd have liked to see that."

"He must have been very passionate about his subject."

Sirius yawned again. "How passionate can you be about a subject about a bunch of dead people?"

"It's not just a bunch of dead people!" Remus hissed, scandalized.

Sirius yawned a third time. "Whatever you say, Remus." He'd put his head down on one of Remus' pillows. "In the end, we all die and become stories I guess. I hope mine has a happy ending." He snuggled into the pillow, and Remus realized with dismay that Sirius had no intentions of moving back to his bed.

"Sirius, you can't sleep here," he said, trying to push him out. But Sirius was much bigger than him, and had somehow already fallen asleep.

"How did you do that?" Remus grumbled, giving one final shove. But Sirius just grunted and wiggled deeper into the pillow. Remus sighed. He had two options - stay where he was, or go sleep in Sirius' bed. He considered the second option for a moment, but when he glanced over he saw that Sirius' space was already a disaster area - it seemed the boy had been eager to settle in, and had unpacked everything from his trunk without actually taking the time to make space for any of it. Remus didn't relish the idea of sleeping with Sirius' boxers - he couldn't tell which were dirty and which were clean - so it seemed he was stuck.

He pulled his own pillow out from the section overlapped by the one claimed by Sirius, and settled in. He was going to have to set some boundaries in the morning.

As he closed his eyes the thought fluttered through his mind that if Sirius knew he was sleeping next to a werewolf, he would have moved. Remus curled into a tight little ball, as if avoiding an accidental touch would prevent Sirius from learning the truth. He fell asleep to dreams of full moons and howling.

/

Peter somehow woke before anyone else on the second day of class. He was feeling stressed - he hadn't performed very well on his first day, and he was hoping he fared better in the remaining subjects. James and Sirius, on the other hand, had grasped the Charms lesson so quickly they'd sent the professor zooming around the room, and even Remus, who hadn't even tried his hand at magic until he was safely within the walls of Hogwarts, had succeeded in sending his feather into the air. Transfiguration had been an utter disaster - try as he might, his match just looked like a match. He'd followed along better in Herbology - but they hadn't been given an assignment for any sort of marks yet, so it was hard to judge if he'd have any talent in that class.

Peter got up and gently pushed the curtain open to Remus' bed, hoping the other boy might already be awake, But to his confusion, he saw two sets of limbs and a mix of black and sandy-brown hair tangled together - half under the bedsheets - half out - and one of the bodies only half-dressed.

"Um...I didn't expect this situation to come up until at least fifth year…" he said out loud. The sound of his voice roused Remus, who looked up at him in confusion.

"Peter?" He made a move to roll over, but a funny expression came across his face. Peter watched with amusement as Remus turned his chin down and his eyes went down Sirius' arm, which was thrown over the smaller boy in a rather intimate manner.

"What is this?!" James was awake and looking at the scene with a gleeful expression. "Oh I wish I had a camera!"

"This isn't what it looks like," Remus said, throwing the arm off of him. The arm's owner grunted but continued to snore.

"It looks like you two were sleeping in the same bed," James said, stating the obvious. "Right Peter?"

"It sure does," Peter said, realizing he was the one with the power in this situation. "It looks like you were enjoying a little cuddle." James laughed and Peter felt a tinge of pride that he'd appreciated the joke.

Remus looked at Peter. "Et tu, Brute?" James burst out laughing even harder, but Peter didn't understand.

"Is that Latin?" he asked, confused.

"Never mind," James said. "What really happened Remus? Did Black have a bad dream and crawl into your bed for comfort? Did he miss his teddy bear?"

"Something like that," Remus said, still struggling to untangle himself from the sheets. Despite the rough tugging and loud voices, Sirius was still fast asleep.

"How is he sleeping through all this?" Peter asked

"Oi. Black. WAKE UP!" James shouted right into the boy's ear. That did the trick - Sirius started violently - pushing Remus off the bed in the process.

"What the bloody HELL, Potter?" He shouted. "How's that any way to wake a guy?" He looked down. "Remus - what are you doing on the floor?" Peter marveled at how casual the boy could act when he'd just woken up half-naked with his arm half-wrapped around someone else.

"Well, someone is in my bed," Remus said, standing up and rubbing his tailbone. "I'm going to shower." He grabbed a set of his robes, which were hanging on a hook at the edge of his bed, and walked into the washroom.

"You gave Petey here quite the shock, Black," James was saying. "What you choose to do is your own business of course, but perhaps you should go over the mechanics with one of the older students before crawling into other boys' beds?"

"And maybe reconsider the boxers covered with dogs," Peter added. "Not very seductive." James laughed again.

Sirius looked down to see what he was wearing. "I like dogs!" he said. He swung his feet around to the side of the bed and stood up, shaking his hair out in a rather dog-like manner as he did so. "And for your information, I'm entirely familiar with 'the mechanics' - don't be daft - it was nothing like that."

James slapped the other boy on the back. "Of course we know that, but that doesn't mean we're going to let you live it down. Right Petey?"

"Sirius Black, lover of dogs and late-night cuddle sessions," Peter said, trying to be witty.

Sirius glared at him, and for a minute Peter thought he'd gone too far. The other boy rounded on him, and Peter took a step back.

"You know what I think?" Sirius said in a low, menacing voice.

"No…" Peter was backed up to his bed now with nowhere to go.

"I think you're just jealous because you wanted in!" Sirius dived on him, sending both of them crashing into Peter's bed. Then Sirius began tickling him in the armpits.

Peter began to laugh. "Stop - please - stop!" He shrieked as James jumped in and began tickling the bottoms of his bare feet. "Stop - please -I can't - I can't breathe!"

"Those better be joyful shrieks and not shrieks of torture!" Remus called through the closed washroom door.

"Remus - hfff!" Peter tried to cry for help, still laughing hysterically as the onslaught continued.

Through tear-filled eyes Peter saw Remus open the door and stepped out, already dressed for the day.

"Okay, that's enough," he told James and Sirius. The two boys stopped tickling Peter, but turned on Remus with their fingers twitching instead.

"Don't you dare…" but Remus' threat was left unfinished as he disappeared under the combined weight of Sirius and James. "Peter!" He cried out between gasps of laughter. "Help!"

"I'm going to go wash up!" Peter said, fleeing the scene. As he shut the washroom door behind him he had a huge grin on his face.

/

James had not slept well the first two nights at Hogwarts. It wasn't that his bed wasn't comfortable, or that the food wasn't satisfying, or that he was anxious about classes - no, none of those things caused the problem.

The problem was, though he'd loathe to admit it, James Potter missed his mother.

He'd been so excited about shipping off to Hogwarts he hadn't even considered this possibility. But everywhere he went, he seemed to be fighting off this frustrating ache in his heart, and it was terribly inconvenient.

James had never suffered from homesickness or melancholy before. He was the happy type - always adaptable to any situation and content to assimilate into any situation. He was desperate to keep up that appearance with the others, so he plastered a smile on his face and did his best to chat animatedly with Sirius while Peter was in the washroom, having exhausted the fun of torturing Lupin with tickles. Talking would distract him from the gloomy outlook of months before he'd see his mother again.

"So, what do you do in the Noble House of Black when it's raining, like it is today?" James asked.

Sirius shrugged. "Depends on who's around, I suppose. My grandfather and dad are usually out of the house during the day, so if I could sneak away from mum's lessons I would probably just play Gobstones or Exploding Snap with Reg."

"Who's Reg?" James asked.

"My little brother," Sirius said, smiling somewhat fondly. "He's a bit of an airhead, but you know how siblings are."

James shook his head. "Actually I don't - it's just me mum and dad."

"Ahh, the picturesque Potters and their perfect progeny," Sirius teased. "What, they decided you came out just right on the first try?"

"Well, have you seen me?" James joked, trying to ignore the pang of longing for his mother as Sirius said it.

"Lucky you," Sirius said, sounding bitter. "I'm pretty sure the moment I popped out mum cursed and demanded they go back to the drawing board."

"Don't be ridiculous!" James said. "All mothers love their sons. Your blood is their blood - it's an animal instinct."

"Did you have to mention blood?" Sirius asked.

"Oh come on, lighten up," James told him. "Look at you, a fine specimen of noble breeding. Any mother would be proud. Just look at those cheekbones!"

"My cheekbones?"

"Well yeah, just look at that face."

Before Sirius said anything further Remus spoke.

"I'm an only child as well," he said from the other side of the room, sounding shy. "What's it like to have a brother?"

Sirius looked thoughtful. "Irksome," he said finally. "But sometimes he's great fun."

James smirked. "Well I for one would have loved a sibling - a little kid to take under your wing and shape in your image." James truly meant that - his parents had given him all he ever wanted, except for a sibling they simply couldn't produce.

Sirius scoffed. "It doesn't really work that way, unfortunately."

"Really? That's a shame. The Frasers seem like practically the same person."

Sirius finally smiled. "The Frasers are identical twins and you've spent all of three classes with them, berk."

"I suppose you're right," James said, standing up. "But it's more than just looking like each other, isn't it?"

Sirius nodded. "Bella and Dromeda look very alike but they're not similar at all. Thank Merlin for that."

"Who's Bella?"

"If I had to venture a guess I'd say his cousin," Remus broke in. James turned to look at the other boy, trying to gauge if he was making fun, but it seemed like he had taken the question at face value and answered it that way as well.

"She's finished her schooling anyway," Sirius said. "But she and Andromeda prove that siblings aren't necessary similar at all."

"Well, there must be some similarities running in the family, it's all the same blood," James said without thinking. Sirius looked stricken.

"James…" Remus was shaking his head.

"Ugh, second time this morning I did that," James grumbled, frustrated with himself. He'd been talking just for the sake of talking without considering his comments, but most kids weren't quite so touchy. "Okay, no more talk of blood unless someone is actually bleeding."

It had never occurred to James before that some people might not get along with their parents. Growing up in a loving, warm home, he simply hadn't thought about it before. He thought of his mother again and smiled to himself. Never before had he realized just how fortunate he was. He resolved to do better by Sirius, and show him how wonderful family and friends could be.

/

It had taken Remus five minutes to escape the clutches of James and Sirius, and he was feeling a little frazzled long after the interaction. He'd never spent any time with boys his own age before, and he wasn't used to horseplay. Compounded by the fact that he'd been forced to sleep squished in bed next to Sirius, and the full moon was just a day away, he was feeling a bit touchy.

It was because of this that when James tried to sneak a sausage of his plate, he slapped his fork away and snapped at him.

"Just what do you think you're doing?" Remus said, the words out of his mouth before he could even think about it. He immediately felt blood rush to his cheeks in frustration, not with James but with himself. What kind of ungrateful child raised his voice to the first friend he'd ever had?

James was looking at him in surprise, but he didn't look angry. "Wow, Lupin getting aggressive," he said, his tone light as he teased. "I didn't expect such fire out of you."

"I'm sorry," Remus stared at his plate in shame. "I didn't mean -"

"No, I think it's great!" James cut him off. "The quiet, gentle boy seems so sweet - but go after his breakfast, and the monster is born." He said the second half in an imitation of an announcer's voice.

"Remus Lupin, a sweet, unassuming boy, with a beast within," Sirius chimed in.

"Remus. Doesn't. Share. Food," Peter said.

Remus laughed along with the others, though the image they conjured made him a bit uneasy. He was a beast within - not that either of them could possibly know that - and they wouldn't be laughing about it when they found out the truth.

"What a great morning," James said, unaware of Remus' dark private thoughts. "First, little Petey coming out with the great one-liners, and now Remus finds his voice." He turned to Sirius. "What are we going to learn about you today? Are you secretly part veela? You do have an uncommonly pretty face."

Sirius spit the pumpkin juice he was drinking out all over. "Part veela? Can you imagine what my mother would say if she heard you suggesting such a thing?"

"Good point. Scratch that theory off the list."

Remus relaxed and stabbed the sausage James had been going for with his fork, stuffing it in his mouth. He chewed slowly, enjoying the final bites of his breakfast.

As he was doing so the post owls flew in. Remus turned to Sirius apprehensively, but the envelope that was dropped in his lap was the normal sort - not a red Howler. Remus also received a letter, addressed in his father's handwriting. He had scribbled his parents a quick note about his sorting and first day of classes the day before and the prefect Shacklebolt had sent it, along with many other letters from first years, off for him last evening. He was happy to see a response so quickly.

James was the recipient of a very large, lumpy package, which was dropped by a snowy white owl that snagged a piece of bacon before flying off.

"Brilliant - mum's sent along some fudge!" He said, examining the attached letter. "We can enjoy this tonight."

Remus turned back to his own letter and ripped it open, reading it hungrily.

" _Dear Remus,_

 _Gryffindor! Where dwell the brave at heart!"_ His father had written. _"An excellent fit for you, son, though I must admit I thought my little bookworm would wind up in Ravenclaw. I'm happy to hear you enjoyed Charms - Defense Against the Dark Arts was always my favorite subject personally, but Charms was a close second - and right useful!  
Things are quiet here without you - your mother isn't sure what to do with herself alone in the house all day, and I find myself at a loss without my favorite chess partner at night. We already miss you dearly, but are so proud that you're at Hogwarts._

 _I'm glad to hear there are just three other boys in your dormitory, and that you're getting on well. Do remember to be cautious - all manner of things can happen in a castle full of young witches and wizards! Stay safe and study hard. Sending all our love,_  
 _Father."_

It was a short letter, but the familiar sight of his father's handwriting was a great comfort to Remus. Of course there were some underlying messages - just three other boys in your dormitory - meaning there were fewer people likely to notice his monthly absences - but Remus was glad his father had thought to keep the letter generic, in case someone else were to glance over his shoulder and read it, like Peter was doing at the moment.

"You play chess?" He asked as Remus folded the letter carefully and placed it in his bag.

"It's rude to read other people's mail," Remus told him, though he wasn't actually upset.

"Sorry...I just didn't get anything myself and you were all reading," Peter said, looking properly ashamed as his nosiness.

"It's okay," Remus told him, though he made a mental note to be careful about reading his parents' letters in public. "And yes, my father and I play a lot of chess. Do you?"

His face brightened. "Yes - I love chess! My mother got me my own set for my birthday last year."

"Maybe we can play after lessons?" Remus asked hopefully. He found chess very relaxing, and he figured the violent element may keep James and Sirius entertained enough not to interrupt their game. He'd never played someone his age before, and his father usually destroyed him, though his skills were improving.

"Yes, let's!" Peter said.

Remus smiled. "Great," he said. He was curious about Peter - he suspected under the simple exterior there was more to the boy than met the eye - he'd been a Hatstall after all. His natural curiosity compelled him to try to find out why, and maybe a game of chess would be the first step to opening the mystery up.

/

It was the second day of class, and Sirius was very tense. He knew that Potions would be a combined lesson with Slytherin, and he wasn't looking forward to sitting in the same room with Steven Mulciber, Evan Rosier and the irritating kid from the train - Snivellus Snape. Almost all of the families he knew wound up in Slytherin and he was sure there had been talk of his Howler in their Common Room. He was surprised Lucius Malfoy hadn't opened his big mouth about it, but maybe the teen's pathetic puppy-dog love for Narcissa was helping that part of the equation.

He'd planned to sit with James but had somehow wound up walking in with Remus, which seemed a fair trade. He could have made Peter move, but the little boy looked so excited have James to himself over at their little table of two Sirius didn't have the heart to break it up.

Potions was taught by the Head of Slytherin House, Horace Slughorn. He was a rather rotund man that Sirius knew had connections in all parts of the magical world, from the Ministry to the Daily Prophet to professional Quidditch players. Sirius had never met the man in person, but he knew Slughorn had been at many parties where the Blacks had also been in attendance.

"Hello first-years," Slughorn said with a smile. "I like to start all my classes with samples of the work we'll be doing throughout the year. Sirius could see and smell a few ready-made potions sitting at the center of the room.

"Now, I know it's day one and no one will be penalized for wrong answers, but can anyone tell me what this one is?"

Sirius was rather surprised to see James raise his hand. Slughorn called on him.

"PepperUp potion," James said. "Great for a cold."

"Excellent! And your name…"

"Potter. James Potter."

Slughorn beamed. "Ahh, you would know this one then. Invented by one of your ancestors." James nodded. "As I hear it, your father made quite a few Galleons for himself brewing potions - creating a special something called the Sleekeazy Hair Potion?"

James nodded again. "The ladies love it," he said casually.

Slughorn nodded. "Well I expect great things from you in this class then, James."

James grinned but didn't answer. Sirius resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

Slughorn moved to the next brew, identified as hiccupping potion by Snivellus. This time Sirius did roll his eyes. Potions were such a slow and boring way to achieve your means - he was much more interested in magic with quick rewards like Charms and Transfiguration. His attention began to wander, and he leaned back and started to relax until he made unwitting eye contact with Mulciber.

The other boy leered at him, and Sirius felt compelled to sneer back. The Mulcibers were an unpleasant breed.

"Sirius, what are you doing?" Remus whispered, and Sirius hastily turned and rearranged his face.

"It's that prick Mulciber…" he muttered under his breath as to not draw the attention of the teacher. "I'm sure he's just waiting for an excuse to hex me for being a blood traitor or something…"

"Just ignore him," Remus said. "Surely he won't do anything in class?"

"I wouldn't bet on it," Sirius muttered, but he tried to take the other boy's advice. Remus was right - nothing happened during class except Slughorn dropping names, gushing over Lily Evans' perfectly scripted answers to his questions and pestering Sirius when he realized he was a Black.

"Your whole family has been in my House," Slughorn said, as if Sirius didn't already know. "I'm rather disappointed you broke up the collection."

"Yeah well, what can I say, I'm shameful demon," Sirius said, a bit irritated. He knew the man was only teasing, but he had no right.

"Now now, greatness comes from all Houses, just in different ways. Why just look at Millicent Bagnold - currently head of the Department of Magical Co-operation at the Ministry. Brilliant woman - taught her myself. She was in Hufflepuff you know…" Sirius soon tuned out.

By the time class ended Sirius had quite forgotten Mulciber, but that was a mistake.

"Oi! Black?"

Sirius turned around at the sound of his name in the hallway. "Yeah?"

" _Anteoculatia!"_

"What the - " Sirius ducked, avoiding the hex. "What the hell?"

"Hey now, what's all this about?" James had turned around, wand out. Sirius ripped his out of his pocket as well.

"What's wrong Black, scared you might get hurt?" Mulciber taunted. "Or maybe you just don't have the skills to take me on."

Sirius glared at the other boy. "Slugulus Eructo!" He'd managed a few hexes and jinxes he'd pulled from the books at home. Mulciber dodged.

"Incendio!" He shouted, and Sirius dove on top of James to prevent the two of them from catching fire.

"Wingardium Leviosa!" James cried as he went down, successfully sending the other boy flying into the air and crashing into a suit of armor.

"Good one James!" Sirius said.

"What are you two doing?! There's no dueling allowed in the corridors!" Remus was shouting.

"Tell that to him!" Sirius spat, scrambling to his feet and giving James a hand up. "Let's get out of here!"

"He just attacked you unprovoked like that?" Remus asked as the four boys made a break for it.

"As far as they're concerned, I'm a blood traitor now," Sirius said grimly. "There's no helping it. They're always provoked."

"Maybe we should go to a teacher…" Peter suggested.

"No!" Sirius told him, stopping abruptly and causing James and Remus to come crashing into him. "No if we do that it will be even worse. Just be glad it's a first-year like us and that they didn't send someone older to do their dirty work."

"They?" Remus asked as he rubbed his arm where he'd knocked into James. "Sirius, you're not making much sense."

"Malfoy and Lestrange, if I had to guess," Sirius told them. "Bella had run of the place when she was here, but since she's graduated I imagine one of them is in charge now."

"Bella?" Peter asked.

"My cousin. Dromeda and Narissa's older sister." Sirius knew he was doing a poor job explaining but he was feeling a bit weary. He should have seen the attack coming. "Look, I've a target on my back. Maybe you guys shouldn't hang out with me." His heart sank as he said it, but he didn't want anyone getting caught in the crossfire.

"BLASPHEMY!" James cried out, startling Sirius. "If they're coming after you for such a reason then they're the ones in the wrong. You're going to need a team of good men to watch your back."

"James, really - it's okay," Sirius tried to tell him. "I should have been prepared for this. I can handle it."

James raised one eyebrow. "I'm pretty sure I just handled it back there," he told him. "So clearly you're going to need some help."

"How much damage can a few first years do? They'll lose interest eventually," Remus said reasonably. "Besides, we're not going to abandon you."

"Yeah!" Peter added.

Sirius tugged at his hair. "You guys don't understand - Mulciber and Rosier are one thing, but if Malfoy or Lestrange get involved they're going to know magic we don't. They're years ahead."

"Then I suppose we better start reading up," James said lightly.

"James, these are bad guys." Sirius shuddered when he remembered all the things Rodolphus Lestrange had tried on him in the past, and those had simply been experiments, not curses thrown out as a form of punishment.

"I won't be bullied," the other boy said stubbornly. "And you heard Remus - we're not going to stop hanging out with you, so shut up and calm down so I can come up with a game plan."

"James -"

"This conversation is over," James said, cutting him off. "We're sticking with you, Black. Get used to it."

Sirius scratched his head anxiously, but gave in. "Fine," he said. "But I meant what I said - those guys are dangerous - you need to be careful."

He didn't want any of the others hexed on his account, but he was thankful for the loyalty.


	6. Seemingly Unrelated Events

Peter tried to keep up with James and Sirius, but his legs just weren't as long and he wasn't quite at the fitness level to take all the Hogwarts flights of stairs as quickly.

The two dark-haired boys seemed oblivious to the fact that he and Remus were lagging behind as they headed toward the Great Hall for dinner and discussed plans to bolster defenses against Slytherin attacks. Peter sighed and gave up on trying to catch them.

"They never slow down for us," Peter complained to Remus, who traveled at a much more agreeable pace.

"I get the impression those two don't know how to slow down for anything," Remus commented.

Peter considered this, then nodded. "You're probably right," he said, disappointed. He thought James and Sirius might have offered them a little more camaraderie after the promise they'd just extracted, but James seemed to have taken it as a given that the boys would stand by Sirius against the Slytherins. Of course Peter had agreed to it immediately, but he wished the other boys had taken a moment acknowledge the significance to risking hexes from upper years for a boy they'd only just met.

Peter and Remus continued up the final staircase to the Great Hall, other students also streaming in the same direction on either side of them. They were almost inside when something wet dropped onto Peter's neck.

"Ahh!" He jumped and Remus turned, confused. Peter put a hand on his neck and touched something sticky.

"Hehehehe, ickle first years in the line of fire." Both boys looked up and saw a ghost-like apparition floating above, but unlike regular ghosts, the creature was wearing brightly colored clothing and appeared almost solid.

"I see you've met Peeves." A Ravenclaw prefect with curly brown hair approached them. "It seems he came across some tomatoes while terrorizing the house elves in the kitchens today."

"Who is Peeves?" Remus asked at the same time as Peter asked "What is Peeves?"

"Peeves is a poltergeist, and a thorn in everyone's side," she told them. She pulled out her wand and deflected another tomato that Peeves lobbed in their direction. "Unfortunately, he's next to impossible to get rid of." She glared up at the poltergeist. "Don't make me call the Bloody Baron!" She shouted up.

"Oooohhh, so scary!" Peeves taunted, throwing another tomato. The girl waved her wand and the soft fruit went flying right back at the poltergeist, splattering all over his bright orange shirt. His eyes widened. "That was my last tomato."

"I warned you." She said in a stern voice reminiscent of Professor McGonagall.

"Meddling Meadowes, mucking up a merry time," the poltergeist grumbled, floating away.

"Here you go." She handed Peter a handkerchief to wipe off his neck. He took it gratefully. "I'm Dorcas Meadowes."

"Petey!" Sirius and James must have finally realized the other two were missing, because they came running out of the Great Hall.

"Is that blood?" Sirius asked. "What happened? Who did it?" He pulled out his wand and began looking around as if expecting some kind of assault.

"No magic in the corridors," Meadowes told him. Peter thought it wise not to point out that she had just used magic to ward off the poltergeist.

"It's just tomato juice," Peter told him, cleaning the mess out best he could. The juice had dripped down his collar and he could feel it under his shirt. He squirmed uncomfortably.

"Who was throwing tomatoes at you?" James asked.

"Why was something throwing tomatoes at you?" Sirius asked.

"Peeves the poltergeist," Meadowes said. "The Bloody Baron kept him away from the first years during the sorting this year, so I guess no one warned you."

"Hogwarts has a poltergeist? How did I not know this?" James grinned wickedly, and Peter could just imagine all the ways the boy would try to exploit the apparition.

"Unfortunately," the older girl said. She turned back to Peter. "If he bothers you again, let me know."

"Who was that?" Sirius asked after she walked away.

"Dorcas Meadowes," Peter answered.

"Meadowes. I don't recognize that name," James mused.

"Well she's in Ravenclaw, so you probably wouldn't," Peter said, feeling grumpy. He was sticky and hungry and feeling like a bit of a laughingstock, though no one had actually said anything unkind. "Can we go eat now?"

When the boys sat down a rare evening owl swooped down and dropped something in Sirius' lap. The boy picked it up curiously, then frowned as he read the attached note.

"It's an evening copy of the Daily Prophet. Apparently my grandfather thinks it would do me some good to read up on current events, and he's purchased me a subscription." He shrugged and handed it to Remus. "You like to read."

"Thanks," Remus said, immediately sticking his nose in it.

Peter turned to his steak-and-kidney pie, enjoying it thoroughly until Remus let out a gasp.

"Whaf wfofs?" Peter tried to speak through his full mouth.

"Three members of the Muggle Liaison office at the Ministry were all found murdered in their homes," Remus said. James and Sirius looked over with interest. "They all lived in different areas, but officials think it's all connected."

"Muggle liaison office?" Suddenly Peter's meal tasted like ash in his mouth. "Do they say why?"

"Something to do with their work, clearly," James said, frowning. "If I had to guess, I'd say someone doesn't like them working with Muggles."

Peter felt cold. Surely it was just a coincidence and nothing to do with his father - he'd died over a decade ago.

"How awful. Who would do such a thing?" Remus looked horrified, and Peter remembered that the boy had a Muggle mother.

"Deranged blood purists," James responded. "Unfortunately it's happened in the past."

"It has?" Remus and Peter asked at the same time.

James nodded. "Usually it's Muggle killings, but sometimes you hear about witches and wizards sympathetic to Muggle causes targeted as well. Dad says it's been happening ever since the International Statute of Secrecy began - if not before that."

"But three at once seems more organized than most," Sirius said, frowning.

"They're just fanatics," James said. Sirius shot him a doleful look but did not say anything further. "I'm sure the Aurors will track them down quickly. Still, doesn't do much for these poor blokes." He gestured to the photos of the three victims, who were smiling up from the paper, blissfully unaware of their futures.

Peter swallowed and stared at the photos. There were two men and a woman, all relatively young in appearance. He wondered if they had families they'd left behind.

It was terrible to be left behind. Peter doubted he'd sleep well that night.

/

Remus shot up out of bed, still in the grips of a terrible nightmare. He'd been so engrossed in his first few days at Hogwarts he'd forgotten about the full moon, forgotten to make sure he was secure away from others. He groaned as he moved, his body aching all over. But he calmed when he realized daylight was peeking through. It was the day of the full moon, and he felt awful, but he was safe, and there was a plan. Even better - it was Saturday, and he had no need to rush out of bed.

Slowly he rolled over onto his stomach, moving much slower than usual due to the aches. It was still very early – sunshine was just beginning to filter through the dormitory windows and through the crack in his bed curtains.

With great effort, he pulled one side open. Peter's curtains were still drawn, and Remus could hear soft snoring coming from within. It seemed the nervous boy had managed to overcome his fear over the news last night well enough to get some rest after all.

Sirius hadn't bothered to pull his curtains at all, and Remus could see that he was fast asleep, and drooling onto his pillow. The vibrant boy looked a picture of childhood innocence when he slept, safe in the dorm where the hostility from Slytherin house couldn't reach him.

James, whose bed was farthest from his, appeared to have pulled just the hanging facing the window, but judging by the fact that everyone else was still peacefully asleep, Remus figured James hadn't awoken yet. The energetic boy had woken everyone else up the first morning with excited chatter about all the plans for the year. Remus hadn't minded much, and Peter had too much admiration for James to complain, but Sirius, who evidently was not used to sharing a room and clearly not an early riser, had threatened to stun him into oblivion.

Remus was fairly sure that was an empty threat – what first year knew how to stun someone? But the second day, when Sirius fell asleep in Remus' bed, James had woken the other boy up with a loud yell and no violence occurred. Still, Remus hoped James would have the courtesy to speak in a bit of a hushed whisper to Remus or Peter until Sirius started to stir.

The boys had fallen into a comfortable routine already – each morning they'd wash according to the order they awoke then head down breakfast early, to secure a good meal, and then head to class. They'd only had one session of each subject so far, but Remus was already fascinated.

Remus found History of Magic to be one of the most intriguing subjects, though the old ghostly professor who taught it was rather tedious, and he expected that most of his peers would not share his interest. It was obvious Sirius and James had little interest in the subject, but as they were both raised in pureblood families Remus suspected they may have heard bits and pieces of it before. Indeed the night before James had hinted of some knowledge of the clashes between blood purists and Muggle supporters. Remus had been shocked to read of the murders, thinking of his Muggle mother at home. But it seemed such an isolated incident he brushed it off easily enough. A young werewolf had enough to be concerned about.

Defense Against the Dark Arts seemed interesting enough, though they hadn't had a hand in any spells just yet. Professor McGilvary was a young man who worked as a researcher for the Ministry of Magic's magical law enforcement division, though he assured them his job wasn't nearly as exciting as that of an Auror. He'd taken off a year to teach to gain what he considered valuable experience "working with the youth of our country to build a brighter tomorrow."

The potions teacher, Professor Slughorn, had spent the first class expounding on the theory behind his subject, and showed then four different examples of things they would be able to brew by year's end – such as a hiccupping potions, which Sirius and James already had plans to use on some poor unsuspecting person. Remus struggled a bit the first day – brewing did not come naturally to him.

Astronomy, held at midnight, was something Remus hadn't wanted to think about, seeing as the moon phases would eventually come up. Thankfully the first class they'd spent learning the stars, and the attention fell on Sirius when James picked up on the fact that he was named for the brightest star in the sky - Sirius, the Dog star that made up part of Canis Major. He'd spent the rest of the class scratching Sirius behind the ears and whispering "Good boy, good boy," until Sirius finally punched him.

Yes, overall classes had been a success. He'd written up another letter to his parents the night before, and planned to send it off this morning, if he could find the Owlery alone. One of the older students – a good natured boy named Gideon Prewett – had given him instructions to find it, but he hadn't ventured off on his own since arriving – James or Sirius or Peter – usually all three – seemed to stick with him like glue. It was all a bit overwhelming.

Sirius smacked his lips together in his sleep, and Remus smiled. He'd never spent any real time with children his own age before, and while it was a lot to handle, he was also incredibly grateful. He'd been so caught up between lessons and his new friends that he hadn't even had time to fret about the upcoming moon until this morning, and though he was aching now that he'd shaken the horror of his dream he was surprisingly calm about what lay in store for him that evening.

He'd already concocted an excuse to explain his disappearance – he would tell them his mother was sick. He didn't enjoy the idea of lying, but he knew his parents would understand and agree it was a necessary precaution. If he laid the framework immediately and with confidence, he should be able to avoid discovery, at least for a while.

He feared the true secret would be revealed someday, but he didn't want to think about it just yet. Things were so wonderful.

"REMUS!" A voice called and suddenly James Potter was jumping onto his bed. "Good morning!" He said brightly.

Remus had been forced to move quickly to avoid being squashed, and he felt his joints crack in protest at the sudden movement. "Good morning," he responded, gently stretching his arm and trying to lessen the discomfort. It seemed his pensive moment was over. James began prattling away as he always did, and Remus sat up and situated himself against his headboard, happy to let James direct the conversation.

His friends were full of their usual boundless energy in the morning, laying out plans to explore the castle over a game of Gobstones. The morning's Daily Prophet brought no particularly grisly news and Remus spent a perfectly enjoyable morning sitting in the Common Room with his new friends, contributing little to the conversation but feeling included nonetheless.

It wasn't until lunchtime that Remus really began to feel the weakness that came over him before each full moon. He'd lost his appetite, and the stress of transforming in a new place was beginning to take over him. Claiming a need to use the loo, he snuck away from his friends.

Unfortunately, he found himself perfectly lost, having never actually been to the hospital wing before.

"I should have asked for directions."

"Are you lost?"

Remus jumped – he hadn't realized he'd spoken out loud. He turned to see Sirius' older cousin Andromeda looking up at him from the bottom of a staircase.

"Well…um…"

"Hey, you're one of those kids Sirius has been hanging out with, aren't you?" She said, grabbing the banister and heading toward him.

Remus wasn't sure what to say to this, remembering how Narcissa had reacted to her cousin's sorting into Gryffindor and how James had sassed Andromeda over the Howler.

"How's he doing?" She asked when she reached him. "He's been avoiding me – rushing off in the opposite direction every time I try to catch him between class." Her elegant face had a sad express on it.

"He seems okay," Remus said. Sirius had been actively avoiding his cousins - going as far as to dive behind a suit of armor when Narcissa came around the corner with one of the Slytherin prefects the day before. He couldn't blame him, after what had happened after Potions with that boy Mulciber. But something about the tone of her voice made him feel he would not be betraying Sirius by speaking with her. "He's a quick study – one of the best in class in Charms."

That made her smile. "He's always been bright, even as a little kid," she said. "Always innovating new ways to irritate his mother and our grandparents. Never wanted any of their nonsense. Chased off at least four tutors over the years." She suddenly looked sad again. "Though I guess I should have realized that would cause him trouble down the line. Maybe I could have done more."

There was something in the way she said it that made Remus think the trouble she was speaking about wasn't angry Howlers at breakfast, but he didn't know her well enough to ask.

"Wow, listen to me, blathering on to some poor first year lost in the hallway," she said, shaking her head. Her long brown hair fell in the same easy waves that Sirius' did, though it was much longer and lighter in color. "Where are you trying to go?"

Remus couldn't tell her he was heading to the hospital wing – not if he wanted to explain away his disappearances as visits home.

"Errr – the Owlery," he said, the first place that came to mind. He's never managed to make it there that morning to send his letter.

That made her laugh. "You're on the completely wrong side of the castle," she told him. "Come on, I'll walk you up there. They should really give you first years maps."

Remus didn't relish the idea of walking all the way across the castle when he already felt so weak, but he didn't see how he could get away from Andromeda without it seeming suspicious, and he couldn't risk her mentioning something to Sirius down the line.

"Thank you," he said politely. "And you're right, a map would be quite helpful. Yesterday it took me ten minutes to find a bathroom, and I haven't had time to scout out the hospital wing yet." It was a bold attempt at conversation, but he'd been observing James and Sirius carefully the last few days and thought he could master the basics of small talk.

She laughed again. "Scouting seems practical. Maybe your little group can do some of that this weekend."

Not this weekend, Remus thought to himself.

They walked along in companionable silence for a few minutes. The way Sirius spoke about his family, Remus had expected Andromeda to be too proud to speak to a lowly first year, especially one from Gryffindor with a questionable pedigree. But she'd been perfectly kind to him, and seemed genuinely concerned for her cousin.

"The hospital wing is down that corridor, for future reference," she told him, pointing.

"Thank you," he said, memorizing their position so he could get back later. He hoped he could get back without incident – his bag felt heavy and his skin was moist and clammy under his robes.

"Andromeda, is that you?" A blond Slytherin prefect had spotted them coming around the corner. "What are you doing?" He asked, looking at Remus with mild disgust. Remus tried to convince himself not to be paranoid – this was probably the look the older boy gave all Gryffindor first year students.

"Hello Lucius. I was just helping…" she paused. "I'm sorry, I never asked your name."

"Remus," he responded quietly. "Remus Lupin."

"Right. I was just helping Remus here find the Owlery."

"Lupin, huh? What a chore, babysitting a first year," the boy called Lucius drawled. "Well, when you're finished, come find the team in the common room, will you? We have things to discuss." He looked down at Remus and sneered. "Be grateful she gave you the time of day, brat. I wouldn't bother." With a swish of blond hair, he walked away.

"Don't mind him," Andromeda said. "The Malfoys think they're something special because they can track themselves back some 400 years. But House Black traces back to the Dark Ages."

"That's…impressive…" Remus said, unsure of what to say.

She snorted. "Impressive, or a mad obsession? Sirius always says it's the latter."

Remus nodded, unsure of how to respond without offending her.

"Ahh, here we are," she said. They'd reached a tall winding staircase. "The Owlery is up there." She glanced at the silver watch she was wearing on her left wrist. "I do have to get going, but you can't get lost – it's straight up the stairs."

Remus' heart leapt when he realized she was going to leave him at the bottom of the stairs, meaning he wouldn't be forced to make the climb.

"That's all right," he said. "Thank you for taking the time to escort me."

"No problem," she said, turning to leave. "And Remus?" She called over her shoulder. "Take care of Sirius."

"Of course," Remus said, though it seemed to him Sirius needed little looking after.

Once she was safely out of sight Remus made a beeline for the hospital wing, much to the confusion of the portraits that had just watched him walk by a few minutes before. He was a bit shaky by now, but his body did not betray him as it sometimes did, and he made it to the hospital wing without incident.

"Remus Lupin!" Madam Pomfrey greeted him with great enthusiasm. "I've heard much about you from Professor Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall.

"Hello madam," he said politely. He knew the matron had a reputation as one of the best healers in the country, but he'd never been treated by anyone but his father or healers from St. Mungo's. His father was hardly a professional, but he was a fine wizard and did his best. The healers at St. Mungo's, though more skilled, either looked at him with disgust or pity, making him feel wretched every time he was forced to go.

He didn't know how to feel about the prospect of being treated by the same person repeatedly – even if she kept his secret for him, how would she not be repulsed when she saw the injuries, month after month, the evidence of the monster, so up front and personal?

"Come back here dear, where no one will see," she told him. She tapped her wand against a wall and a door appeared out of nowhere. She scooted him into the isolation room that had been described to him by Dumbledore. "Now, how are you feeling right now on a scale of one to 10 – 10 being the worst and one being the best?"

Remus considered the question carefully. "In terms of how I usually feel before a transformation, or in general?" He asked finally.

She looked at him thoughtfully. "I suppose before a transformation. And after, we'll refer to the general state after the wolf. I best get a gauge on it now so I can give you the most effective treatment, and after that we can focus on improving your condition overall."

"Improve my condition?" He asked. "That's not really possible, is it?"

She just smiled at him. "Of course I can't cure lycanthropy, but I wouldn't be much of a healer if I didn't set out to find ways to make you more comfortable."

"I don't want to be a bother," Remus said. Or an experiment. He had already been through years of experimental treatments, some of which amounted to torture. There had been the wizards in Russia who tried to carve the cursed wound out of his shoulder, the group in central Africa that believed the curse could be cured by sucking out infected blood with leeches. There were witches in Transylvania that believed they could transfigure the wolf during the full moon back into the boy – he had scarcely survived that attempt, and his father had nearly destroyed the place in a rage when he saw the condition his son was in. He didn't blame his parents for any of the pain, of course. They were just desperate. But he didn't want to be anyone else's project, for his own sake as much as their own. He had watched his parents build up hope with each new plan and seen it dashed away. He had seen the guilt in their faces when a particularly painful treatment proved ineffective. He didn't want anyone else to have false hope.

"I'm not talking about experimental cures," the matron said, as if reading his mind. "I'm talking about experimenting with ways to make you more comfortable, to heal your wounds more efficiently. For example, when you return, we'll have you soak in a bath full of essence of murtlap. It does wonders for scars – even ones caused by curses. We'll see how that does for you."

Remus had used murtlap once before and it had indeed relieved some of his pain and the scars from that particular transformation had been less horrible than most. But murtlap tentacles were not always a readily available ingredient, and his parents had invested all their funds in traveling the world looking for a cure.

"That does sound nice," he allowed.

"Good," she said, nodding in approval. "Now, let's get you in bed. You should get as much rest as possible before tonight."

"Before that madam, can you tell me how I'm to get to the passageway unseen?" Remus was exceptionally nervous about being spotted by someone on the way across the grounds.

"We'll use a disillusionment charm for that," the matron told him. "I'm often out and about on the grounds, picking ingredients from the Herbology greenhouses or the gamekeeper's gardens. Some plants must be plucked at dusk for maximum efficiency. No one will think twice about seeing me wandering about just before dusk."

Remus felt the tightness in his chest lessen slightly. Dumbledore and his team really had put great thought into this. "Thank you," he said.

"You're welcome, dear," she said to him. "Now get in this bed before I wrestle you into it."

He followed her orders, trying to relax into the small hospital bed with metal railings. Somehow, Remus managed to drift off into an uneasy sleep.

/

"Has anyone seen Lupin?" Sirius asked, walking out of the washroom. "I haven't seen him since he ducked off after lunch to run to the bathroom."

James and Peter, who'd been playing a game of Exploding Snap on the dormitory floor, looked up at him.

"You know, now that you mention it, I haven't seen him either," James said.

"Maybe he's in the library?" Peter suggested.

James and Sirius looked appalled. "But it's SATURDAY!" They said in unison.

"Yes, but Remus seemed very enthusiastic about lessons," Peter said. "Perhaps he wanted to get a start on that Transfiguration homework?"

James stood up. "That won't do," he said. "It's the first Saturday of the term – he should be with us, goofing off and perhaps going on an adventure to find the school kitchens later…" He grinned at Sirius.

"I'll come with you to the kitchens," Peter said eagerly.

James sighed inwardly. In truth, the boys hadn't been discussing their plans for pranks or wanderings in front of Peter much, hoping he would stop trying to tag along. It wasn't that James disliked Peter, but it was clear he was a bit of a blundering child, without any of Sirius's grace and quick wit or Remus's intelligence and calm presence. Clumsiness was not conducive to avoiding detection during pranks and other escapades.

"Let's see if we can find Remus first," James said.

"To the library!" Sirius bellowed, pointing out the door and striking a heroic pose.

But the only people in the library were older students who were already bogged down with copious amounts of homework, and Lily Evans, who, like Remus, seemed overeager in lessons. James wondered if that was a product of being raised by Muggles.

"Where else might he be?" James said, puzzled.

"Maybe the Owlery?" Peter suggested.

"I did see him writing a letter to his folks last night," Sirius said. "Might not hurt to check."

So the group climbed on up to the Owlery, but found no signs of human life – though some of the owls flew down to greet them.

"Maybe he's out on the grounds?" Sirius suggested as he pet a handsome tawny owl that landed on is hsoulder. "We're free to go outside on the weekends."

"Why would he go exploring the grounds without us?" James asked.

"I wouldn't put it past him to sneak out looking for a quiet place to read," Sirius pointed out.

"Good thought!" James said. "Let's have a look around then, shall we?"

But after a thorough sweep of the grounds, they still didn't turn up Remus. They decided against searching the Forbidden Forest – Lupin didn't seem the type to break school rules alone – and they also ruled out that he'd been attacked by the giant squid, as there were a lot of students hanging by the lake and it seemed unlikely that a drowning would have gone unnoticed.

"'S'pose he went to the hospital wing? He didn't eat much at lunch," Sirius said.

"Let's have a look there then," James said.

But when the boys went to the hospital wing, they were shooed out by the healer, Madam Pomfrey, who told them she hadn't seen anyone by the name of Remus Lupin that day and that she wouldn't have rowdy boys disturbing her patients for no reason.

"Maybe he's back at the dormitory, wondering where we all are while we're running all over the damn castle looking for him." Sirius was at the point that he was visibly irritated, having wasted a perfectly good afternoon searching aimlessly for a missing friend.

"Well let's head back there and then we can all head to supper," James said reasonably.

"Supper sounds nice," Peter said. Sirius rolled his eyes.

But when they returned to their beds, still no Remus.

"Odd," James said. "I can't think of where else to look."

Defeated, the trio went down to eat. Remus didn't reappear through the meal, and by then Sirius had completely lost his cool.

"Where the bloody hell did he run off to?" he fumed. "He knew we had plans to go exploring."

James picked at his pot roast unhappily. Truthfully, he and Sirius had made the plans and never explicitly confirmed with Remus that he'd be coming along, but the past few days the three had been inseparable, and James was a bit put out that his new friend would just take off without a word.

"You don't suppose something happened to him?" Peter asked in his nervous squeaky voice.

"We checked the hospital wing," James said.

Sirius slammed a fist down on the table. "Unless something happened to him that prevented him from getting to the hospital wing!" He said, getting heated. "What if some slimy Slytherin jinxed him in some classroom because he's a half-blood?"

"Who would do that to Remus?" James retorted. "He keeps to himself for the most part."

"But they've seen him with me!" Sirius said, clearly beyond reasoning with at this point.

"What if one of my cousins caught wind of the fact that his mum's a Muggle and decided to hex him because he's been spending time with me?!"

"I don't think –" James started to say, but Sirius jumped up and started turning his head in all directions as though looking for someone.

"Snivellus!" He roared, spotting Snape sitting alone at the end of the Slytherin table. Before James could stop him he was in front of the over boy, holding his wand in a threatening manner.

"What have your housemates done with Remus?" Sirius demanded, poking the wand in Snape's face.

The other boy looked alarmed. "What are you talking about?"

James knew he should step in, but Snape looked like he was about to pee himself and he found it highly amusing.

"Answer the question," Sirius growled. "Or I'll set your greasy hair on fire!"

"But I really don't – "

"Liar! Incendio!" Sirius imitated Mulciber's spell from the day before. He had the incantation down, but in his rage his wand work was sloppy and the spell wizzed right by Snape and set fire to a plate of potatoes instead.

"Black! Have you lost all sense?" James cringed as Professor McGonagall swept down from the staff table.

"But Professor!" Sirius said. "He and his Slytherin buddies kidnapped our friend and are holding his against his will!" James cringed again as Sirius came out with his wild theory. It seemed fairly ridiculous at this point.

"What in the –of all the ugly accusations and outlandish excuses - have you any evidence of this?" McGonagall asked, at the same time putting the flaming potatoes out with her wand.

"Well…no…but Lupin has been missing since lunch, and we've looked everywhere!"

McGonagall frowned deeply. "Twenty points from Gryffindor for attacking another student over a flight of fancy." She said firmly. "And three nights of detention as well."

She turned to Snape. "You best run along if you're finished, Mr. Snape."

Snape, who'd been digging into his pocket for his wand until McGonagall's arrival, looked annoyed at being chased off from his own house table, but he didn't argue.

Sirius's face fell. "But Professor – Remus –"

"As a matter of fact, I know exactly where Mr. Lupin is, and he isn't tied up in some secret room with a gang of Slytherin students standing guard. And even if he was in such a position - the appropriate reaction would be to find a staff member immediately and report it!"

"Wait – you know where Remus is?" James exclaimed. "Where is he? He just took off without telling any of us!"

"Mr. Potter, if he did not tell you, what makes you think I would disrespect his privacy by giving you that information?" She countered.

James frowned. The mystery was deepening. "I respect his privacy, Professor. But you see, Sirius here is the type to worry, and when he worries he flies off the handle a little – not unlike my mum, actually." he added, thinking of her affectionately. "Over the past few days we've become rather fond of Remus – he's a delightful lad after all – so we're just wondering if you can tell us anything about what's going on?" He smiled sweetly.

McGonagall's stern face softened, but only by an infinitesimal amount. "I expect Mr. Lupin should be back in time for class on Monday, or perhaps Tuesday."

"YOU MEAN HE'LL BE GONE ALL WEEKEND?" Sirius shouted.

"There is no need to shout, Mr. Black," she said. "And yes, I expect he'll be gone for the rest of the weekend. That is all I will tell you on the matter. Now I suggest you rejoin Mr. Pettigrew and finish you dinner, or else head back to Gryffindor Tower. Mr. Black – report to my office Monday night for first detention. I'll allow you to enjoy the rest of your weekend due to the fact that your offense was done in the spirit of helping a friend, no matter how misguided. If it happens again I won't be so lenient."

"Yes, Professor," James said, knowing when to call it quits and unsure if Sirius would do so without prompting.

"Thank you, Professor," Sirius grumbled. The two friends ambled back over to the Gryffindor table.

"So what did you make of that?" James asked once they were out of McGonagall's earshot.

"Dunno, but I sure want to talk to Lupin about it," Sirius said.

"Same here. But you can't be flying off the handle like that," James told him. "If you have a wild theory, run it by me first, all right?"

"It wasn't a wild theory - you have no idea what those people are like," Sirius insisted. "But you're right, you're right," he said. "I guess I got carried away – but I was just imagining little Remus at the mercy of those Slytherin punks."

James didn't like the image either. Remus was smart enough, but his physical stature was nothing special, and they hadn't learned any defensive magic yet.

"D'you really think they would jinx someone just for being half-blood?" James asked.

Sirius's face darkened. "Half-blood I'm not sure, but Muggle born definitely," he said. "Bellatrix used to tell stories when she was at school."

"That's despicable," James said aggressively.

"What's despicable?" Peter asked as they sat back down. James considered explaining for a moment, but decided it might frighten Peter more than he could handle.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "So McGonagall says Remus will be gone all weekend…"

/

Sirius knew he should just relax and heed the words of Professor McGonagall, but he couldn't help but glance at Remus' empty bed every few minutes Saturday night. "It seems odd, doesn't it?" he said to James, who was lying on the ground playing chess with Peter.

"McGonagall said he'd be back soon enough," Jame said with a shrug. "I'm sure there's nothing to be worried about."

But Sirius wasn't so confident. "Why are you so quick to trust McGonagall, anyway?"

"McGonagall seems a nice enough sort,"James said. "Kind of reminds me of mum, actually. Though mum isn't nearly so strict. Ah, good move…" Peter had checked his king.

"McGonagall reminds you of your mum?" Sirius asked, incredulous. "I thought you said your mum was sweet."

"Like I said, mum isn't nearly so strict," James said, moving a knight cautiously. "But McGonagall seems sensible enough. She let you off for the rest of the weekend when she found out your motives behind attacking Snape. Which, by the way, is an expellable offense."

Sirius, in the heat of the moment, hadn't really considered that and he shivered when he imagined how his mother would react if he was kicked out of school just days in. "I wonder if she's going to write my mum over it."

"Checkmate," Peter said, grinning. Sirius looked over with interest.

"Potter - he beat you and only lost three pieces. Haven't you ever played chess before?"

"All the time!" James exclaimed. "How did you do that?" He pressed Peter.

The other boy shrugged. "I'm fairly good at chess," he told them.

"I doubt McGonagall will write your mum - she seemed pretty put out by the Howler," James pointed out as he opened the chestnut box where he kept his chess set and let the pieces crowd back in.

"I hope you're right…" The stares and whispers had been following him all week and he didn't need a fresh tongue-lashing at Sunday breakfast.

"I'm usually right, mate," James said, standing up and stretching. "What do you say to a bit of an adventure outside? That will get your mind off your mum."

"Arrrrrrrrrooooooooooooo-" A deep howl punctuated the conversation.

"What in the world - " James and Sirius both rushed to the window.

"One of the older students said there were werewolves in the forest!" Peter squealed. "Is it a full moon tonight?!"

"Don't be stupid, Peter," Sirius scoffed. "What kind of headmaster would let werewolves wander the grounds?"

"I'm sure there's a logical explanation," James said as another howl rang out, quieter this time. He glanced at Sirius then grinned wicked. "Besides, what's an adventure without a little risk?"

"Brilliant, Potter," Sirius grinned.

"You two want to go outside looking for whatever just made that noise?" Peter said, looking at them like they had three heads.

"Seems like a more productive use of my time then letting you destroy me at chess," Sirius commented lightly. He'd been dying to get outside and they'd missed the chance to really enjoy the grounds earlier as they'd been searching for Remus.

"But there's a curfew…"

"If you're scared you don't have to come," Sirius said impatiently. "Wizards have been seeking magical beasts since the beginning of time - we're just following in the footsteps of our ancestors. Let's go Potter!"

Twenty minutes later the two boys had managed to sneak past Peeves, who appeared to have acquired dungbombs and was placing them throughout the halls, and somehow slipped out the doors without detection. They were congratulating themselves on a job well done when they heard the howl again.

"You know, it does kind of sound like it's coming from the edge of the forest," James said. "What else is over there?"

"It looks like there's a building over there," Sirius pointed. "Suppose it's the gamekeeper's cottage?"

"Let's check it out!"

The two boys raced down a hill toward the cabin, but just as they were about to reach it, a large dark figure moved out from the forest.

James threw an arm in front of Sirius to stop him from moving forward, as if he'd been planning to run into certain death anyway. "You...you don't reckon Peter was right about those werewolves Black, do you?"

"Err…" For the first time Sirius was seeing the foolishness of their plan to wander outside while there was a howling animal lurking in the dark. The shadowy figure was getting larger and larger, and Sirius noted with horror that it was in fact wolf-like and fuzzy. He tried to master himself as a rush of adrenaline hit, and he fought the urge to run, instead pulling out his wand. But what spell would stop a werewolf?

Sirius and James both took uncertain steps backward as the hulking beast drew closer.

"Aaarrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooooooo."

"Shit!" James slipped on the damp grass, falling down at the worst possible moment. Sirius seized the collar of the robes and tried to pull him to his feet, tugging frantically.

"Oh, hush up Cooper, ye great brute," a human voice cut through the silence. "Eh, what's this?"

Sirius almost laughed with relief when he saw the big gamekeeper that had led them to the boats the first night of school, and a massive -but collared - black dog next to him. He dropped James and fell to his knees, shaking.

"Students?" Hagrid stepped out of the shadows and light from the torch set on the outside of the cabin hit his face. "What're ye kids doin' out here after curfew?"

"A dog, of course," Sirius said weakly to James, not acknowledging the man.

"Right, just a dog," James said, his voice also weak and higher than normal. "Just a dog."

"Ye kids okay?" Hagrid asked, moving closer to them.

"Great, just great," Sirius said, standing up again and brushing grass off his robes.

"Ye shouldn' be out wandering after dark -s'not safe," the man said gruffly. "What're yer names?"

"James Potter, sir," James said, his presence of mind having returned faster than Sirius'. "We just wanted a good look at the grounds - the stars are so beautiful at night."

"Aye, right ye are there," Hagrid agreed. "Who's this?"

"Sirius Black," Sirius said, a bit regretful that James hadn't thought to give a fake name. "Say, you won't snitch will you? We just got a little carried away."

Hagrid looked torn and was about to answer but at that moment the enormous dog walked up and gave Sirius a sloppy kiss, leaving a trail of drool all over his cheek.

James burst out laughing as Sirius made a face and tried to wipe off the dog saliva with the sleeve of his robe.

"For something that makes such a beastly racket you're just an overgrown puffskin aren't you?" Sirius said, also laughing and scratching the mastiff behind the ears.

Hagrid chuckled. "Well if Cooper gives ye his stamp o' approval, I guess I can be helpin' you out of this spot this one time. Come on, back to the castle wit' ye."

"I always wanted a dog, but the only animal mum tolerates are owls," Sirius said, continuing to pet the big dog happily. His poor mood of earlier was entirely forgotten as the dog shoved into him with his nose and sniffed before giving him another good lick.

"Ye can come on down sometime - during daylight, mind, and visit," Hagrid said.

"Really?!" Sirius said excitedly. "Can we bring our friends too?" He couldn't wait to see how Peter would react when he saw Cooper.

"Sure, I like company," the man said. "But it's late, let's getcha back to yer rooms."

Sirius grinned and turned on his heel to head back the castle. The grounds were illuminated by a beautiful full moon that night, and he committed the vision to memory.


	7. Getting to Know You

The mournful howls continued after James and Sirius disappeared, and Peter was torn between fear of the animal outside and fear for his foolhardy friends. Sure, Gryffindors were supposed to be brave, but charging into the night after an animal that made a noise like that? That was just sheer stupidity, Peter reasoned.

Unfortunately, Peter also reasoned that the one good reason to go out when an animal like that was wandering about was to save one's foolhardy friends when they were wandering right into its path. He kept staring at the door, wondering if he could will James and Sirius to return unharmed.

Peter was not tough, nor spontaneous, nor adventurous. These were always things he wanted to be, things he admired about James and Sirius. It was hard for him to reconcile the fact that his impressive friends could be _such absolute morons._

He had finally found the courage to go after them and was putting on his shoes when the dormitory door slammed open. "Petey!" Sirius cried, "Did you know the gamekeeper keeps a great big black dog?"

"Dog?" Peter said, relieved his friends had reappeared in one piece. "No - I thought only owls, toads and cats were allowed."

"That's just for students," Sirius said, waving his hand dismissively. "No - he has this big friendly dog - and he says we can come down to the cabin and visit it!" Sirius said this like it was the most enticing offer he'd ever been given.

"Sirius is a little enamored with the dog," James said with some amusement. "Even though it slobbered all over him and mucked up his hair." Peter glanced at said hair and realized it did look rather wet and sticky.

"My hair can be shampooed," Sirius said."Let's go back down tomorrow so Peter can meet Cooper."

"But we still have homework…" Peter said. He wanted to make a good impression on the professors to make up for his less than stellar showing in the first set of classes."

"We'll do it in the evening," Sirius said. "Come on Petey, don't you want to see the dog?"

"Just let Black have this one, Pettigrew, James advised. "Or you'll never hear the end of it. Apparently he's got a soft spot for dogs."

"I'm a lover of all animals," Sirius said as he sat down on his bed and began removing his socks. "Besides, a little fresh air will be good for Petey."

"What would a kid who grew up in London know about fresh air?" James laughed.

"Hey - I wasn't always stuck up in London. I'll have you know we've vacationed all over Europe - I've seen the catacombs in Paris, rode hippogriffs in southern France, toured Durmstrang, not that anyone knows exactly where that is, visited the ghosts in Spain - did you know the Spanish Inquisition was a bloodbath even for witches and wizards?"

"Ah, forgive me, I didn't realize you were so cultured," James teased.

"Please! I'm a Black - I've been dragged halfway around the globe - Mum likes to use me as her showpiece to the foreign witches and wizards. I think she's been considering a foreign alliance."

"Sorry- foreign alliance?" Peter broke in. "What do you mean?"

"You know, marrying me off to a foreigner. As long as she could verify their blood status, of course. She likes the French. She once made me spend the day with this awful, awful girl - the daughter of some kind of Duke or Earl or something of the like."

"Like an arranged marriage?" Peter asked, still trying to wrap his head around the conversation. Sirius spent time with French royalty?

"Well, yeah - what other kind is there?"

Peter looked uncomfortably at James, who also looked perplexed. "Er - the common population in Britain tends to marry for love nowadays," James said.

Sirius blinked. "Truly? It's the norm?" Peter was flummoxed. Did Sirius really not know? "Any of my family members who have tried that got themselves burned off the family tree. I always assumed it was a bit of a black sheep thing." Burned off the family tree? Whatever could he mean?

"I mean, it's not like arranged marriages are unheard of…" James continued, either understanding or ignoring Sirius' perplexing comments. "But it's certainly not typical anymore."

Sirius bit his bottom lip, looking thoughtful. "Well," he said finally. "That sounds nice in theory, but how do you figure out which girl is the right girl?"

James shrugged. "Dad always says when met Mum he just knew."

"Well that doesn't sound very concrete," Sirius said.

"It worked out well enough in their case," James said, an amused smile on his face. "What about your parents, Petey?"

"I'm not really sure how my parents decided to get married," Peter admitted, choosing his words carefully. His friends did not know yet about his father, and he wasn't ready to divulge that information. "But the way Mom talks, Dad was definitely the one."

"See, Black? It works!"

But Sirius was shaking his head. "It wouldn't work in my family - not unless it was a girl that mum had pre-approved. "You know the Prewett's sister married a Weasley? It's a pureblood match, but when they made the announcement all Mum could talk about was the fact that the Weasleys are blood traitors and that they'd make treacherous blood traitor babies."

Peter was struck at that moment by the thought that Sirius' life outside Hogwarts was completely different from his own. Sirius Black lived in a world of wealth and privilege, but apparently it was also a world full of restriction and a strict code of conduct. Peter looked at the proud, handsome boy with a renewed sense of awe - Peter couldn't imagine going against an entire culture and rejecting the ideals of his family. Sirius Black was indeed a brave Gryffindor.

James and Sirius were still engaged in conversation. "That's offensive. And your mum can't force you to marry someone," James argued.

"You haven't met my mother," Sirius retorted. "She could make a vampire drink orange juice."

Peter snorted at this, but the other two continued the banter without pause.

"No one should make you give up on love," James said fiercely. "Love is the most important thing in our lives."

"Aww Potter, I didn't realize you were such a romantic."

"Not just romantic love, Black," James said impatiently. "Love between friends, between family - all good things in life come back to love. If you have love, you don't need much else. Mum says so," he said, as if that settled the matter.

"Coming from the heir to a massive family fortune who has everything anyone could ask for," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "You sound like a girl. Oh, love. Love is the way. Love is the solution. Where is my prince charming?"

"Don't argue," Peter said, sensing tensions rising. He didn't want to see James and Sirius fight - there had already been a few times that James had made well-intentioned yet thoughtless comments that rubbed Sirius the wrong way, or Sirius said something downright rude and sent James into a frenzy. Remus was the one that usually interceded when this happened.

Thinking of Remus made Peter instinctively turn to his friend's empty bed. He hoped wherever Remus was, he was okay. Had Remus been there, he may have been able to stop James and Sirius from rushing outside earlier. Or at least Peter would have had someone to sit with while he worried over them.

Peter sighed. A few days in he often felt outshined by James and Sirius, like he had to work at what he did and said to be accepted, but he always felt safe with Remus, and was looking forward to his return.

"So your parents really aren't trying to arrange for a bride?" Sirius was asking James. "They didn't hire a governess to give you etiquette lessons where you learn how escort a lady or how to lead a proper Venetian waltz?"

"My mother taught me how to dance of course," James scoffed. "And we had no need for a governess - my parents educated me until we got here."

"Your parents? But you said your father sits on like six boards!"

"Just three - the Hogwarts Board of Governors, with your father, St. Mungo's, and the Manchester Wizarding Historical Society." James counted them off on his fingers. "And he visits the Ministry quite a bit, but I haven't a clue what he does there."

"I haven't a clue what my father does anywhere," Sirius said with a grin, and Peter was relieved to see the moment of tension had passed. Peter settled into his bed, kicking off the one shoe he'd put on before the others had returned. He sat with his legs dangling off the edge and swung his feet back and forth, listening to Sirius and James banter back and forth.

/

Remus' first thought upon waking up was that he was naked. This had never been any real concern to him while transforming in his parents' cellar, but today he was at Hogwarts, and Madam Pomfrey would be down any moment to fetch him and fix his hurts. She was a professional, but Remus couldn't take the idea of being found stark naked and covered in bites and blood by a virtual stranger.

Moaning slightly, he forced himself into a sitting position to assess the damage. It really wasn't bad - while he ached, there were no sharp pains that would indicate internal damage or any major injuries. There was an ugly bite on his forearm and he felt that a few of his toes may be broken.

He was exhausted, of course, but that came with being up all night howling at the cruel moon.

He was also covered in blood and dust - the structure he was housed in clearly hadn't been used in years, and for all Dumbledore's kind planning, it didn't seem that it had occurred to anyone to sweep it up. The result was that Remus was sticky and had a definite sheen of gray dust sticking to him.

But, all things considered, this was a good condition for him post-transformation; he was in a healthy enough state to be concerned about modesty.

He'd been distracted from the transformation from all the stimulation Hogwarts offered. At home, he had nothing to think about the days leading up to the full moon but the inevitable horror of transformation. But at Hogwarts there were so many things to do and see, so many people to talk to - people who had no idea of his sufferings and thus didn't give him the concerned looks his parents always shot him before the moon. Remus had discovered he enjoyed being around people, even if he rarely found the nerve to engage with anyone outside his dormmates. He enjoyed the noisy conversation in the Great Hall during mealtimes, where students quipped about all manner of topics. There was a healthy energy that radiated off young bodies, and Remus felt almost as if he could absorb it, if he just spent enough time around other people. It was a luxury he'd never had before and expected he would not have it for much of his life, so best take advantage now.

Focusing on this idea of healthy energy and pulling himself up against the wall, he walked on shaky legs over to the cabinet where he'd stashed his old robes. Not caring if they got dirty, he forced himself to wiggle into them then collapsed back onto the floor, tired and weak but pleased with the overall outcome of his first transformation ever away from his parents.

Though thinking of his parents immediately made him miss them horribly. His mother always held his head in her hands while his father healed him, then Father carried him upstairs so he could snuggle up in bed and make up his lost sleep.

He tried to let his mind wander, and he wondered what his friends were doing. If he had to venture a guess, James and Sirius would have dragged Peter into some kind of competition or mischief. He wondered if they were concerned about him. He hoped not – he didn't want to draw attention to his disappearances, and a werewolf hiding away at school didn't deserve to be fretted over.

The trapdoor creaked and Madam Pomfrey poked her head in. "Remus dear, how are you?" She looked him up and down shrewdly.

"Not too bad, ma'am," he said quietly. His throat burned from the effort of speech.

She nodded. "I see you managed to get yourself dressed - that's a good sign." She smiled and approached him, putting a gently hand on the top of his head. "Any particular hurts?"

"Broken toes, and a bite on my forearm," he told her, delighting in the simple touch. He resisted the urge to rub his head against the gentle hand like a pet begging for more affection. The healers at St. Mungo's usually did their best to avoid touching him, but touch always made him feel just a bit more human, and he was grateful that the matron hadn't shied away.

"All right then," she said. "Let's have a look." She pulled up the hem of his robes to examine his foot. Frowning slightly, she tapped her wand against them. At once Remus felt a burning sensation, then the pain was gone.

"Thank you," he said, flexing his toes. He even ventured a small smile.

"Not at all," she said. "Do you think you can walk back to the school, or shall I conjure a stretcher for you?"

Remus felt his face fall in spite of himself. His brief stint standing to grab his robes had nearly done him in - he certainly couldn't walk along the uneven tunnel and out across the grounds. To ride along in a stretcher made him feel like an invalid - his father always carried him, comforting him with touch. Of course the matron wouldn't carry him - even if that wasn't wholly unprofessional, she was not a big woman and he was a rapidly growing 11-year-old boy. Still, at that moment he felt terribly homesick for his father's strong arms and the soft cotton nightgowns his mother wore.

Trying to master his face, he answered. "I think a stretcher would be best."

/

Monday came around and Remus still didn't appear in the dormitory, or for History of Magic, which was the first class of the day. Sirius and James agreed that they would take detailed notes for their friend, who was already the model student. But Professor Binns had a voice that just droned on, and after a night of wandering past curfew Saturday and another rushing to finish all the homework he neglected over the weekend on Sunday, Sirius soon felt his eyelids grow heavy.

"Look alive, Black!" James hissed, flicking him in the ear. "We have to take notes for Remus."

"This class is so dull. I wish something interesting would happen," Sirius complained.

"How am I supposed to take notes when the sound of the professor's voice puts me to sleep?"

James broke out in a grin. "His voice is the problem, huh? Let me see what I can do about that…"

Sirius perked up curiously as James pulled his wand out of his pocket. He pointed it at Binns and whispered "Sonorous!"

"And then Urg the Unclean –" Sirius had to duck his head and cover his face with his hands to avoid being caught laughing. Binns voice had gone from its typical drawl to a high-pitched whiny sort reminiscent of a 3-year-old girl.

But James was frowning. "It was supposed to make it louder…not squeaky…" he muttered. "Going to have to check the incantation…"

The best part of the situation was that Binns was continuing on like nothing had happened, despite the fact that the class had undoubtedly noticed the change and many people were giggling behind their hands.

"Err..Professor?" Lily Evans finally called out timidly. "Do you perhaps need a drink of water?"

"Water?" Binns squeaked. "Whatever do you mean, Lucy?"

"Lily, Professor, Lily Evans," she corrected him. "It just seems like you have a bit of a frog in your throat…"

"I'm sure I would notice if an amphibian crawled into my mouth, Miss Aaron," Binns said, his voice still squeaking. "Besides, water is of little use to a ghost.".

Sirius was shaking with silent laughter so hard he could scarcely breathe. James had tucked his wand back into his pocket and was frowning thoughtfully.

"If you say so, Professor…" Evans said, sitting back in her chair in defeat.

"Binns wouldn't notice if the ceiling came down in the middle of his lesson," Sirius gasped to James when he could finally breathe again at the end of class. "That was hilarious mate!"

"It wasn't quite what I had in mind, but it worked well enough," James said. "Maybe the trouble is that he's a ghost?"

"I can't believe you cast a spell on a teacher in the middle of class," Peter said, his voice full of awe as he followed them out into the corridor.

"Yeah well, Sirius said he was bored, and we can't have that."

"No, I imagine a bored Sirius Black is a ticking time bomb," a voice said from behind them.

"REMUS!" Sirius roared, spinning around with furious speed. "Where have you been? I have detention tonight because of you!"

"You have detention tonight because of you," James corrected. "It's not Remus's fault you jumped to outlandish conclusions."

"What are you two talking about?" Remus asked.

"Sirius thought you'd been kidnapped by bloodthirsty Slytherins, so he tried to set Snape on fire," James explained.

"What?!" Remus's eyebrows shot up and disappeared into his hair. "It was nothing like that! I just had to go home for a bit."

"Go home? For what? It's the first week!" Sirius said. He himself was so happy to be out of his family home, he wouldn't have returned home that quickly for anything.

"My mother is ill," Remus told them, looking pained.

"Oh no!" Peter exclaimed. "Is it serious?"

"It's a chronic illness," Remus said. "It comes and goes. She was in a bad way, so I traveled home for the weekend to sit with her."

"That sounds awful," Sirius said, meaning it, despite the fact that he would never have returned home to sit with his own mother, even if she was on her deathbed. She wouldn't want it anyway – she'd just want Regulus, her perfect son, not her perfectly vile Gryffindor son.

"She was feeling stronger this morning," Remus said. "She'll be okay."

"Well that's good," James said. "Hey, I'm sorry about your mum, mate. But we're glad you're back – we took notes for you." He handed over the parchment. "I did my best – History of Magic is dull as watching grass grow."

Remus's face lit up as he looked over the notes. "These are way more detailed than the ones you took last week," he said.

James shrugged. "Yeah, well, we reckoned you'd want a little more content than what Sirius and I normally turn out," he said.

Sirius was tickled to see the grin that washed across Remus's face – you would have thought someone gifted him a thousand galleons instead of a couple pieces of parchment. "Thank you," he said earnestly. "Thank you both so much!"

"Don't mention it," Sirius said, punching him in the shoulder. "That's what friends are for, right?"

Remus was shuffling through the notes and didn't answer.

Sirius raised his arms up and crossed them behind his neck. "Shall we get on to Defense Against the Dark Arts, then?"

Defense Against the Dark Arts was a much more entertaining class that History of Magic, even if they'd spent the first class only discussing the theory. Sirius also found it intensely satisfying to be learning how to protect himself against the Dark Arts his parents so adored. The professor, a young man named McGilvary, was a likable sort, if inexperienced with children, and Sirius was hopeful that practical lessons would begin.

Sirius slid into a seat between James and Remus when they entered. This year was a big class at Hogwarts – so big that the first-year Gryffindors completely filled the classroom, so snagging a seat quickly was important.

"Hello, hello, let's jump right into it today, shall we?" Professor McGilvary said. He was a rather small man with round glasses and a small, rough beard, which he often scratched while he spoke. "Wands out please."

There was the sound of students rummaging in pockets and bags as everyone located their wands and placed them on the desk. Sirius leaned forward, eagerly awaiting instruction. He'd tried his hand at every spell he could find in books at home when he got his wand, with mixed results. He couldn't wait to test his skills further.

"Excellent. I thought we'd do a little work with simple jinxes today." Sirius leaned forward even further. "Nothing dangerous of course, in a controlled environment like this. Just a little something to test your skill level. Now, can anyone tell me the incantation for the Full Body Bind?"

Several hand shot into the air, and McGilvary picked on Lily Evans. "Petrificus Totalus," she said.

"Exactly, exactly," McGilvary said. He had a tendency to repeat himself. "Five points to Gryffindor. Now, the Full Body Bind curse can be an effective defensive technique, particularly in friendly competitions, for it renders your opponent unable to move without otherwise causing harm. It can also be a useful tool to exterminate lesser dark creatures and household pests, like pixies, gnomes, and doxies- if you have good aim."

He turned to the blackboard and drew the class a diagram detailing wand movements. "With jinxes and hexes, wand movements and aim are very important," he told them. While a rogue charm might cause a little upset, or possibly fail to work at all, a rogue jinx can cause serious damage to persons and property. In Transfiguration, visualization is key, and sloppy aim usually means nothing more than a flop. In this class, if you don't hit your target, you could hurt someone. So let's be careful, shall we?"

Sirius was tapping his foot impatiently. He'd seen all manner of jinxes and hexes fly at various parties when the adults disappeared to the drawing room for a quick nip of firewhiskey or wine. A simple immobilization spell wasn't going to hurt anyone.

He waved his wand and the students jumped back as the desks rearranged themselves off the sides of the room. "Now, everyone partner up – we're going to practice." He waved his wand again and a series of squishy mats appeared all around. "In case you fall," he explained. "It's impossible to keep your balance when you're frozen in place."

Sirius turned to James and shrugged. "Partners?"

"'Of course," the other boy said.

Sirius saw that Remus and Peter had partnered up as well.

"Now, on my count, I want the taller of the two partners to try the spell," McGilvary said.

"Err – professor?" Elena Fraser, one of a pair of identical Scottish twins in the class, raised her hand.

"The older twin, then," the professor said, realizing his mistake.

Sirius grinned and turned his wand on James. "Make sure to strike a pose, Potter," he ribbed his friend.

James grinned back. "Just don't screw up and curse me with something awful," he said.

"THREE," Professor McGilvary bellowed. "TWO. ONE!"

"Petrificus Totalus!" Sirius roared as James lunged forward and made a ridiculous face. The spell worked perfectly, and James' expression was frozen in place.

Sirius let out a delighted bark of laughter, then looked around to see how the other students had fared. Remus had indeed succeeded in binding Peter, whose beady little eyes were darting around furiously. Lily Evans had also succeeded in binding her partner, Mary MacDonald. Some other students had partial success – William Hepburn had succeeded in freezing Eliza Corsica's left arm, but she was flexing her right arm quite unconcernedly – and Daria MacKenzie appeared to have been frozen mid-step by Henry Connors, but everything above the waist appeared to be in working order.

"Let's see here," McGilvary said, wandering through the rows of students. "Five points to Gryffindor Mr. Black, good show. And five points for Mr. Lupin as well. And Miss Evans."

For those who succeeded, try the counter-curse – finite incantatem. Those that partially succeeded let me handle that – we don't want any accidents." He walked over and taped MacKenzie's knee, undoing the spell to demonstrate.

Sirius was emboldened by his success. With a rare level of focus, he pointed his wand back at James, who still had the hideous expression on his face, and said "Finite incantatem."

At once James' mouth went slack. "Thanks mate, my jaw was getting sore like that," he said, rubbing it.

"Top that spell work, Potter," Sirius said, rather pleased with himself.

"All right, everyone back in order?" McGilvary glanced around. Remus and Evans had also succeeded with the counter-curse. "Now the other partners…on my count. Three.

Two. ONE!"

"Petrificus Totalus!" James cried. At once Sirius was overcome by a curious sensation and was unable to move anything but his eyeballs. Out of the very corner of his eyes he could see that Peter hadn't had the success the rest of them had – Remus was shrugging apologetically.

Jenny Fraser, the other half of the pair of twins, had succeeded in binding her sister. Sirius couldn't see the rest of the class from his vantage point and was unable to turn around.

"Good work, good work!" McGilvary was again walking between the rows of students.

"Five points to Mr. Potter, Miss Fraser and Miss Fawley. An excellent first showing! Let's try the reverse."

"Finite incantatem," James said intently. Sirius immediately felt the weird sensation leave him and he could move again. He was exceptionally pleased both with his own performance and the performance of his friends – only six people in the entire class were successful – and their little group was half of that. This boded well for future jinxing and hexing, which he intended to put to full use.

Unfortunately the practical lesson was cut short when Professor McGonagall popped in for a quick word and discovered Professor McGilvary was allowing first year students to practice jinxes on one another.

"Honestly Michael, I cannot approve of this," she told him sternly after pulling him aside. Sirius was an experienced eavesdropper and heard every word, despite hushed tones.

"These children have no experience - imagine what could go wrong when they're pointing their wands at each other. I expected more sound judgement from you."

"I merely thought it would be a good test of their skills," Professor McGilvary said. "Though I do see your point. I'll refrain from such lessons for now."

"A wise decision," McGonagall said, sarcasm evident in her voice. "Though I am curious - were there any standouts?"

"Let's see - Black, Evans, Fawley, Fraser, Lupin and Potter all managed very nicely."

"I see." Suddenly McGonagall looked over and caught Sirius' eyes. He did his best to gaze back innocently, as if he couldn't imagine what they were talking about. She held the look for a moment then turned back to McGilvary. "Well, I'm glad there were no accidents. I don't mean to discourage you in your teaching efforts - Merlin knows your subject is more and more important with all that's happening in the world today." McGilvary nodded as if to agree.

What's happening in the world today? Sirius hadn't bothered to read the paper while Remus had been gone - they'd gone straight into the trash. He wondered what Professor McGonagall was referring to, and if he should be paying closer attention to the nonsense his father and grandfather said when he was home. If Dark Arts were involved it was likely something they approved of. He remembered the story of the poor murdered Muggle Liason employees and shuddered. James had said the crimes were likely the work of pureblood fanatics. Sirius wondered vaguely how far his parents would take their pureblood politics, but couldn't imagine them dirtying their hands in something so sinister. The Blacks may have silly ideas, but his family wasn't evil.

At least he liked to think not.

/

"Jamesss," the boy looked up from the Quidditch magazine he was reading.

"What's up Sirius?" He asked.

The other boy crawled into bed next to him. "I can't sleep, and Remus kicked me out of his bed."

"I wonder why," James said facetiously. "I can't imagine what you might have done that would prompt such a reaction." Of course he was referring to the other night when Sirius completely took over Remus' personal space. The boy didn't even change in front of them, for Merlin's sake, he probably didn't entirely appreciate the cuddling. "Perhaps you should consider giving him a bit of space, considering his situation with his mum?"

"Fair enough," Sirius said, grabbing a pillow and setting his elbows on it. "What are you reading, anyway?"

"Quidditch Weekly," James said, showing him. "It's full of all types of tips and tricks and all the latest news and stats - I have a subscription."

"I never got out to fly much," Sirius said, sounding wistful. "Nowhere safe to go in London. Sometimes Uncle Alphard would let me take a spin on his broom when we visited his house in the country, but that's about it."

"We start flying lessons soon - we'll get you up and practicing!" James said, excited. "I want to try out for the team next year - I know second years don't usually make the cut, but it can't hurt. My dad would be thrilled if I made it though. He used to play with me all the time, but a few years ago he started having back problems and the healers said there was nothing they could do - old age…" James trailed off. It had been a huge disappointment when his father had been forced to stop playing, for both of them. James had as close to a perfect life as anyone could ask for, but the realities of aging parents were one thing that was hard to ignore, even for an 11-year-old.

"That's too bad," Sirius said sympathetically. "They sound nice though, your parents…"

"Mum and Dad? They're the best," James told him. Some children at their age were embarrassed about showing affection for their parents, but not James. James would shout it out from the rooftops. "It's a little weird, being here without them." It was as close as he could get to admitting how much he missed his mother.

"It is weird," Sirius agreed. "I'm still getting used to the fact that no one's going to come around a corner screaming about Mudblood filth...at least not in Gryffindor."

James frowned. "Your mother," he began, trying to think of a way to phrase his question politely. "Does she always…"

"Scream offensive slurs like a banshee?" Sirius supplied before James finished. "At home it's a daily occurrence. I thought her pride would keep her quiet in public, but apparently I'm such a disgrace her anger overruled her desire for pretense."

"That's not right," James said, shaking his head.

Sirius shrugged. "All parents have some issues, right?"

James considered this, but save for his parents' advanced age, and his mother's irrational love of rock cakes (nasty things) he couldn't think of many flaws. "I'm not sure…"

Sirius reached over and patted him on the head. "Well, perhaps the Perfect Potters are the one exception."

James opened his mouth to argue that even if his parents were particularly perfect, it still wasn't normal or okay for a woman to scream abuse at her son, but then thought better of it. It didn't seem like Sirius wanted to admit how awful his mother's words were just now. But really - between the way she'd spoken through that Howler, the way his cousin Narcissa had reacted to his sorting, and the way the Slytherins were treating him now - James had some serious questions about exactly what went on at the ancestral House of Black.

"Your pillows are softer than mine, what's that about?" Sirius asked, rubbing his cheek into one of them.

"Mum sent me special ones in the post," James told him. "She thought they'd make me more comfortable."

Sirius was staring intently at the pillow. "My mum would never even think of doing something like that."

"Sending special pillows? I know it's a bit much but they are so soft…"

"No - thinking of something to make me more comfortable."

"Oh…" James simply didn't know what to say. Finally, he decided to shift over and make more room for Sirius on the bed. "Want to try them out?"

Sirius looked at him, surprised. "Are you inviting me into your bed, Potter? Aren't we a bit young for such trysts?"

"Shut up, Black," James told him, hitting him with a pillow. "Or I'll change my mind."

Sirius grinned and stretched. "It is nice to have the view of the window…"

James went back to his magazine and Sirius read over his shoulder for a while, but eventually James heard the soft breathing that meant slumber.

He rolled over and observed the other boy's body move gently up and down with steady breathing. James had thoroughly enjoyed teasing Sirius the other day when he'd fallen asleep in Remus' bed and the two had woken entwined in each other like a pair of lovers. The way Remus had grumbled, James had assumed Sirius had just plopped himself down for a quick word and fell asleep, as he often did all over the castle, at weird points in the day.

Now, however, he wondered when had been the last time someone had given Sirius the benefit of a kind word or a warm hug before he was tucked in at night.

He thought of the way his own mother came into his room each night, embraced him and planted a kiss on his forehead.

James wondered, as he settled himself in to sleep beside his friend, if Sirius had crawled into Lupin's bed, and then his own, because he had been looking for just a little bit of physical affection, maybe without even knowing it.


	8. Signs of War

Peter rolled over and stretched lazily - enjoying the comfort of his bed and the quiet of the autumn morning. The morning light was peeking through the slit in his bed hangings and the whole effect begged to be enjoyed from the comfort of his sheets.

Unfortunately, his bladder disagreed. So with a sigh he rolled out of bed, his feet going cold as they hit the cool stone floor. He tiptoed to the bathroom, as to not wake the others, and he would have tiptoed back, except for what he saw when he glanced at James' bed.

"What the- oww!" He'd been distracted by the sight of James and Sirius asleep together in James' bed and he'd stubbed his toe on the corner of Remus' trunk. It wasn't as if Sirius and James were in a compromising position - Sirius was on his back - one arm under his neck and the other straight out across James, who was curled up on his side with his back to Sirius. But it was the second time Sirius had crawled into someone else's bed when his own was feet away.

"Peter?" Remus poked his head out of the curtains, bleary-eyed. "Are you okay?"

"Sorry Remus," Peter said, regretful to have woken his friend. "But take a look over there." He pointed.

Remus turned his head in the direction Peter was pointing, then blinked. "Well," he said after a moment. "It seems Sirius has found a new object for his nighttime affections. Thank Merlin."

Peter chuckled. "Do we wake them?"

Remus shook his head. "It's early yet. Let them sleep."

"When I was young I used to crawl into my mother's bed when I had a bad dream," Peter said. "The night always seemed less scary with someone next to me. Do you s'ppose Sirius has nightmares?"

"It's possible, but I wouldn't ask him if I were you," Remus told him. Peter thought this was good advice - Sirius Black was the proud type, and quite a bit bigger than Peter, and better with a wand. It didn't seem smart to antagonize him.

"Say Remus, " Peter began, deciding to seize the opportunity to ask a question and get a straight answer while James and Sirius were still sleeping. "Where do you suppose they keep records of things like student awards?"

"Awards?" Remus mused. "Well the trophy room, I'd imagine."

Peter nodded. "Of course, of course." He paused. "Do you think they keep things like sorting records after one graduates?"

"Sorting records?" Remus shrugged. "It's possible, though I'm not sure that would be available to the general public. Why?"

"Well…" Peter was a little hesitant to get into detail. Remus frowned and pulled his bed hangings open, patting the spot next to him on the bed.

"Come on up here, you can talk to me," he said encouragingly. Peter knew Remus wouldn't judge or pity his family situation, and decided to open up. First he crawled up onto the bed, so they were sitting next to one another.

"My father died when my mom was pregnant, and I just don't know all that much about him."

"And you want to find out more?" Remus asked, in that soft voice he used when guiding Peter through a difficult homework question.

"Yes," Peter admitted. "My mother doesn't discuss him much - too painful I imagine…"

Remus nodded. "There are some things parents have a hard time talking about with their children," he said wisely. "You know, if you want I'll go with you to the trophy room after class. Maybe we can dig something up."

"Really? That would be wonderful!" Peter squealed. He glanced over at the other two boys, still blissfully asleep. "But - can we maybe not tell James and Sirius...at least until we get some details?" Peter was thinking back to the way the hat had gone between Gryffindor and Slytherin, and wondered if his father may have represented the serpent. He didn't know if James and Sirius would react kindly to that.

"Of course, it can stay between us for now," Remus said, smiling. "Let's just wait and see what we turn up."

But both boys were distracted from the topic by the morning's Daily Prophet.

"Does anyone know what inferi are?" Remus asked, looking up from the paper that Sirius had once again tossed over to him.

"Reanimated corpses," the prefect Kingsley Shacklebolt, who was sitting to Remus' left, supplied, looking grim. "You know, I'm not sure 11-year-olds need to be reading this kind of news…"

"What kind of news?" Peter squealed, trying to read over Remus' shoulder.

"Give me that," Sirius snatched the paper from Remus and began to read aloud.

"'The Ministry of Magic is warning the wizarding community to be on the lookout for inferi after reported sightings in Leeds'- what the devil - there isn't anything in Leeds but Muggle development and a great rail station."

"Keep reading," Remus told him.

"'The warning comes not long after an alarming incident where the Muggle parents of a prominent Muggleborn witch were found dead in their beds by Muggle authorities. While the Muggle investigators believed the deaths to be some kind of medical complication, undercover wizards stationed in the Leeds police bureau quickly ascertained the deaths were the work of the Killing Curse. The warning about inferi was issued after the Muggle coroner insisted that the bodies rose up and attacked him while he was performing an autopsy. While the non-magical population dismissed this as the hallucinations of a man under great strain at work, the Ministry of Magic found that there was evidence of magic at the scene, and no one has been able to account for the whereabouts of the bodies.'"

"Blimey," James said, shaking his head. "Poor Muggles never stood a chance."

"'A suspect in the murders has yet to be identified,'" Sirius finished.

Peter was staring intently at the omelet in front of him. He was no longer hungry for it.

"How does a corpse move on its own?" he whispered, afraid of the answer.

"Strong dark magic," Shacklebolt told them. "Which the paper should have mentioned, along with how to identify inferi. Bad journalism."

"I don't know why you read the paper," Peter told Remus, feeling miserable. "It's so depressing."

"Petey, you better learn to pay attention to what's going on in front of you," Sirius told him.

"And what exactly is going on?" James challenged Sirius. "Surely you are no expert either. Let Petey alone."

"I'm just saying we need to pay attention. Dark winds are rising," Sirius said. "There have been rumors circulating the ranks that all these killings that keep cropping up are the work of one man and a cult of followers. Grandfather mentioned it in his last letter."

"Dark winds are rising," Shacklebolt repeated with a frown. "But there's nothing we students can do about such things, at least not yet. Try not to fret about it." He smiled at Peter, who was reassured by the prefect's calm voice. "And hurry along – you'll be late to class and I don't want to have to dock points!"

Despite more disquieting news, the day of classes went by rather well for Peter - he did passably well in Charms this time, finally accomplishing the levitation charm. While he continued to do poorly in Transfiguration, he wasn't the only one, which was some consolation. And he discovered, with some joy, that he was rather good at Herbology.

"How did you keep your feral firethorn from smoking while you repotted it?" Marlene McKinnon asked him in Herbology. It seemed The McKinnons and the otters were good friends, because Marlene had chosen to sit with James rather than any of her Housemates.

"If you stroke the stem while you pull them out, it keeps them from getting too stressed," Peter explained, happy to be helpful. Professor Sprout had warned them that the thorny plants were very sensitive and may smoke or even spontaneously combust if the gardener was too aggressive. Of course, upon hearing this Sirius had intentionally ripped his from its pot, causing a small fire to bloom in his hand which he brandished like a torch at an amused James and a horrified Remus until Professor Sprout spotted him and docked five points from Gryffindor.

"How did you know that?" She asked, after trying it for herself with success.

Peter shrugged. "My mother likes to garden and I've seen her do it with other plants. It seemed worth a shot."

"Certainly!" She said. Her eyes flickered over to James. "Really? Are you serious?!"

Peter missed the action, but he could just imagine that James must have ripped his firethorn from its pot just as Sirius had, for there were flames flaring up dangerously close to his eyebrows. Sirius clapped and laughed while Remus grabbed his own pot away to protect it with his body.

"No Marlene, I'm James. He's Sirius," James said cheekily.

Peter laughed at the joke, even as Professor Sprout docked five more points from Gryffindor. He wished he had half the nerve of James and Sirius. They certainly made things seem brighter.

/

"There's something called the bat-bogey hex that sounds promising," Sirius said. He was sitting in the library with James, Remus and Peter reading up on jinxes and hexes. "There's also something that shrinks your head, and ohh - this one gives the target pus-filled boils all over their face. Nasty!" He held up the book to show them an illustration.

"I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of that," James said. "Look here - there's one that switches the knees to the backside of the legs. That sounds painful! We'll save that only for the worst case scenario." He scribbled down some notes on a piece of parchment.

"I want you both to know I don't approve of this," Remus said, knowing his words would have no effect. "Instead of trying to attack back, why don't you just learn defensive magic?" Remus knew the argument was futile, and he couldn't believe he had the nerve to raise it in the first place, but he felt he had to try.

"With the group we're up against, we need firepower," Sirius said. "Mulciber isn't going to throw inconsequential hexes our way - look, I found the incarnation he shouted last week - it makes you grow antlers."

"We need to be prepared for what they throw at us," James agreed. "Come on, I would have thought you'd love any excuse to read through a new book."

Remus shook his head. "I'm not hexing anyone," he said, slightly afraid the statement may make James angry, but he was resolute in his decision.

"You could take a stab at learning some of the counter-jinxes and healing spells, instead," Sirius said without missing a beat. He grinned. "We'll need someone to nurse us back to health after battle."

"Can you imagine Remus in a healer's robe with an apron and one of those little hats they wear?" James asked Peter, who chuckled.

"That's actually not a bad idea…" Remus said thoughtfully. It was a good solution - he could remain in the good graces of his friends without having to engage in their bad behavior, and he could teach himself a valuable skill. He would never get to train as a proper healer of course - he imagined St. Mungo's wouldn't allow a werewolf into their employ - but having the ability to heal wounds, and a base knowledge of counter-jinxes and curses would be invaluable for patching up his own hurts after the transformations.

"Take a book," Sirius urged, handing him one. The boy had jumped into the endeavor of learning all manner necessary to take the offensive. Remus thought it was rather awful that the group of Slytherins that clearly knew the Black family well was so quick to turn on a former companion over something so simple as a school House, but he supposed there was much about the pureblood culture he didn't understand. Judging on what he'd learned of it so far, it was something he wanted nothing to do with.

"I'm not sure I'll be able to master any of these," Peter said uncertainly. "These are all at least third-year level."

"Please - the education system just labeled them that way - it doesn't mean anything," Sirius said. "My tutors were always trying to hold us back, but my cousin Bella was shooting out all kinds of curses by her third year, and Dromeda became quite the hand at vanishing her third year."

"Isn't vanishing OWL-level spellwork?" Remus broke in curiously.

"That's what they'd have you believe," Sirius said with a shrug. "I think magic is more about willpower - you have to focus and you have to mean it when you cast a spell."

"Hear hear!" James said from his spot on the floor. "We'll be ready to duel those Slytherin berks in no time."

Remus privately thought that James was being pretty arrogant about the whole situation, but he didn't bother to say anything. From the time he'd spent with James so far, he'd surmised that the boy had been raised to believe he would come out on the top of anything and everything life threw at him. It was a nice thought, but Remus knew it was naive. Remus knew full well there were problems that couldn't be solved, no matter how stubborn or brave a face you put on.

Still, he wasn't going to be the one to shatter his friend's illusions. So he sat down and began reading.

It wasn't until Sirius packed up to head to his detention with McGonagall and James snuck off to do Merlin knows what that Remus broached the topic of the trophy room with Peter.

"Did you still want to look for clues about your father? We have some time before curfew." He asked Peter when he was sure they were alone.

"What? Oh – yes please!" Peter jumped up in excitement at the suggestion.

So the pair went a hunt for the trophy room. Remus knew it was somewhere near the Transfiguration classroom, and found it without much difficulty.

"Oh, excuse me." Remus hadn't expected anyone else to be there, but when they arrived Severus Snape was already there, observing some kind of Gobstones award. He turned sharply at the sound of Remus' voice.

"Oh – it's you two. What are you doing wandering about without your loudmouth friends?" He sneered at them and Remus noted that his hand was inside his pocket, presumably around his wand. Remus also noticed that his eyes were red, as if he were upset. On top of that, his shoulders were tense, as if ready to strike at the slightly provocation.

Remus decided it would be best not to give him one. "We didn't mean to interrupt – but as I recall this room is open to all students." He felt Peter move in close to him and he tried to stand tall, though Snape was taller.

"So it is," Snape said. To Remus' surprise he sighed and his posture became slightly less hostile. "I suppose you two are here looking for awards your parents told you about? How quaint."

Remus wasn't sure how to respond, so he said nothing. Peter was fidgeting at his side. After a moment Snape rolled his eyes and walked out, his robes brushing Remus as he walked by.

"That was scary!" Peter said once he was gone. "I thought for sure he was going to hex us."

"Why would Severus hex us?" Remus asked. "We haven't done anything to him."

"But he's in Slytherin, and you've heard what Sirius says about Slytherins."

Remus sighed. "I hardly think all Slytherins are bullies, Peter. I think there's just some bad blood between Sirius and some of those kids. Severus is friends with Lily Evans – he's not going to get caught up in that blood traitor talk."

But Peter didn't look so sure. "I don't know…he had his wand in his hand. Why grab it if you're not thinking about using it?"

Remus didn't have an answer to that. He approached the award that Severus had been examining.

 _Eileen Prince, Gobstones Champion, 1946_

"I wonder who Eileen Prince is," Remus mused, really talking to himself more than Peter. Who was Eileen Prince, and why did Snape look so unhappy when he saw her name?

/

Sirius was returning from his first detention with McGonagall, whistling as he walked down the corridor, when he was caught unawares by Evan Rosier and Snape in the hallway.

"Ahh, Evan," Sirius said, not at all happy to see him. "How's our sweet old auntie doing?"

"Very disappointed to hear about our little blood traitor," Evan said, sneering. "Where are your little Gryffindor buddies? Did they finally have the good sense to ditch you?"

"Unlike you, I'm perfectly comfortable going for a stroll on my own time and again," Sirius responded, hoping he sounded braver than he felt. He'd been reading up on his jinxes and hexes, but it was two against one and he wasn't sure how advanced the other boys were.

He was standing against a wall and had no way to escape the situation short of turning his back and fleeing, which didn't seem very sporting. Trying to be subtle so he might grab the element of surprise, he reached for his wand.

"Ohhh, Snape, see that - he's going to try to jinx us," Evan said. "Come on, do the thing you talked about. Do it."

Snape didn't look particularly eager to engage, but he raised his wand nonetheless. Sirius gave up the pretense and pulled out his wand but before he could cast a spell Snape muttered something. Sirius felt a sharp sting on his ankle and when he looked down his leg was swelling and had turned an awful purple color.

"That's interesting," he said, glaring at Snape. The other boy looked to Evan, who was grinning.

"Nasty!" he said, sounding overjoyed.

"I'll show you nasty," Sirius grumbled, but he tried to take a step forward he realized his ankle couldn't support his weight any longer and he went down hard on one knee. "Sod it." He had no idea what Snape had done to him but it hurt and it looked like his leg was secreting pus.

"Langlock!" he cried, pointing at Snape so the boy wouldn't do more damage. He was pleased to see Snape's face fall as he opened his mouth unable to speak with his tongue stuff to the roof of it. He quickly turned to Evan, who had been so cocky he didn't even have his wand out. "Melofors!" This was a test of a new jinx he'd found in a book that afternoon before he had to squirrel off to detention.

"Mmmmmm?!" Evan's shouts were unintelligible, as his head was now stuck in a pumpkin. Sirius grinned at his handiwork.

"Well, that should teach you to attack a man two-on-one," he said, bracing himself against the wall so he could balance on his good leg.

"Mhhmfdsmm," Evan made more noises and Snape glared and waved his wand, but without speech it was no more than a stick. Sirius drew himself up - he was slightly taller than Snape and quite a bit more filled out - and tried to look intimidating.

"I'd leave before someone else comes along, if I were you," he said in a low voice. "Or I'll try something new on you, and experiments can go wrong you know. Besides, McGonagall's office is just around the corner and she won't take kindly to you jinxing members of her house." In truth, McGonagall wasn't really one to play favorites and Sirius was sure he'd be punished as well were she to turn up, but the threat worked. Scowling, Snape grabbed Evan by the hand and pulled him away.

Sirius somehow managed to drag himself around a corner and up one flight of stairs before he stumbled and fell down. At that moment, all the negative feelings he'd been having since his sorting spilled over, and to his humiliation he felt hot tears welling up in his eyes. He and Evan Rosier used to play together at family parties.

"Um...are you okay?" A voice asked uncertainly.

Sirius hurriedly wiped his eyes and turned around, but he was not pleased by what he saw.

"Oh. Hi Evans." He said shortly. He couldn't help but resent the redhead at the moment - after all, she was friends with the kid who'd just jinxed his leg.

"That looks like it needs a doctor," she said, pointing at his leg.

"A what?"

"A doctor?" She said again, looking confused that he didn't understand.

"What the heck is a doctor?" he asked, forgetting his irritation for a moment over curiosity.

"You know, a professional to fix you up, give you medical treatment," Evans said. "Don't wizards have doctors?"

"Ohhhh, a healer." Sirius now understood - he'd forgotten Evans was Muggleborn. "They're called healers."

"Oh. Well a healer then - it looks like you need one. Would you like me to help you to the hospital wing? How did it happen anyway?" She reached for his arm.

It was a kind offer, but when she asked what happened he remembered who actually did the damage. He hadn't like Snape much, but he also hadn't given the boy much thought. Now they were enemies. "No, I don't need your help," he said, pulling his arm away as she tried to take it.

She looked affronted. "But you can hardly stand!" She tried to grab his arm again.

"Don't touch me," he snapped, pulling away again and trying to stand on his own.

She sniffed. "So I guess what the other students have been saying is true," she said, her voice suddenly cold.

"What's that?"

"They say the Blacks are haughty blood purists. I thought you were different, being in Gryffindor…"

"I AM DIFFERENT!" He shouted so loudly his voice echoed, realizing she's misinterpreted the rejection as being because of her blood. "You stupid - how do you think I got this!?" He pointed furiously at his leg, his misery at the whole situation spilling over. "Rosier and your precious little friend just cornered me in the hallway and called me a blood traitor, then did this!"

The girl gasped. "But Sev doesn't - he must have just been in the wrong place at the wrong time - he would never."

"He's the one who jinxed me," Sirius said, close to tears again. His leg was starting to throb.

"WHAT?!" This time she shouted.

"Yeah, your sweet little friend did this, so excuse me if I don't particularly want your help right now." He turned his nose up at her then turned away so she wouldn't see his wet eyes.

A moment of silence passed, then tentatively, she spoke. "Will you at least let me go get the healer for you?"

"Fine." He was staring at the ceiling now, the pools in his eyes dangerously close to spilling over.

He heard her footfalls slapping quickly against the stone as she went for help. Only then did he let the tears fall.

/

James and Remus were sitting in the common room waiting for Sirius to get out of detention, having snagged two comfy armchairs that had been vacated by a pair of fourth years. Peter had gone to bed early, claiming an exhausting day. James was content – he'd tracked down Flavius McLaggen, the Gryffindor Quidditch captain, and was already planting seeds for his plans to tryout for the team next year. He was enjoying a magazine and watching the crackling fire – though the weather wasn't exactly cold, there was something about its warmth that he always found immensely satisfying. Remus was similarly absorbed in a book.

He was surprised when they were approached by Lily Evans.

"Hello Potter," she said, sounding like she'd rather not be addressing him. "Remus," she said, more kindly. "I thought you might want to know that Sirius Black is in the hospital wing."

"What?" James jumped up dramatically, throwing the copy of Quidditch Weekly he'd been reading into the air. "What happened Evans?!" He was already heading for the portrait hole and drawing stares from some other students in the common room, but he didn't care.

"Umm…" She had a strange look on her face. "Ran afoul of a bad jinx, he said."

"Ran afoul? You mean some slimy Slytherin jinxed him," James said. "Let's go Remus."

"It's about to be curfew," Evans pointed out. "You're going to go now?"

"If we go now, we'll make it to the hospital wing before curfew," Remus said, slipping off his chair, picking up the discarded magazine and following James.

"I don't care about curfew anyway," James told her. "Not if my friend is hurt."

"I'm sure the matron will set him right," Evans said, but she didn't try to stop them.

It wasn't until they were out of the common room and halfway to the hospital wing that James placed the look on the girl's face. She looked guilty.

"It was Snivellus, I'd put money on it," James told Remus as they walked. "Did you see her face?"

"But I thought Severus and Lily were friends. Why would he be hanging out with the pureblood crowd?" Remus asked.

James shrugged. "Maybe he wasn't. Maybe he just likes jinxing people."

The boy wanted to rush ahead, but in deference of Remus he restrained himself to a brisk walk. Sirius didn't seem the type to run crying to the healer over some minor hurt – something nasty must have gone down. He wished he'd thought to meet Sirius as detention got out – apparently the hallowed halls of Hogwarts weren't safe to walk alone at night.

The boys arrived at the hospital wing with ten minutes until curfew.

"Remus?" James, who had been in the lead and expected to be addressed first, was surprised to learn that the healer was already acquainted with his friend. "Another headache dear?"

"No, ma'am, we're actually here to see our friend."

"Remus? James?" Sirius was sitting on the edge of a hospital bed. "How'd you know I was here?"

"Evans told us," James said. He put on his best smile and turned to the matron. "We were worried about Sirius - I hope it's okay we came down. I know it's close to curfew…" He wasn't about to leave Sirius alone to walk through the halls back to the dormitory later.

"Well that's sweet, but it's all under control boys," the witch said, though she looked amused, unlike during their last run-in. "I was just trying to get your friend here to tell me what kind of fifth-year goes around jinxing first-years - bullying if I ever saw it." She put her hands on her hips and looked cross. "Despicable behavior."

"I told you, it was just an accident," Sirius insisted.

"If that was an accident, I'll eat my hat," she told him. Then she sighed. "But fine, if you refuse to give the person up I suppose all I can do is wrap up your leg and send you on your way."

"Wrap it up?" James said sharply. "You couldn't fix it?"

"I've drained it and returned it to normal size. He'll be just fine. I want him to apply a salve and keep it wrapped up for the night," she said patiently. "And go easy on the leg for a day or two."

The boys waited while the healer finished her work, James looking over her shoulder at Sirius the entire time, who was trying to avoid his eyes.

Finally Madam Pomfrey stepped away. "All right, off to Gryffindor Tower with you then." She waved her wand and handed him a slip of parchment. "If anyone stops you just show them this."

"Thanks," Sirius muttered, taking it. He hopped down from the bed and winced when his leg hit the ground. James was at his side in an instant.

"You can lean on me, if you like," he told the other boy. "And Remus will carry your bag."

Remus nodded and immediately moved to grab the bag. Sirius set his face grimly and took a step. He seemed steady, though his mouth was tight and he looked like he was in some pain.

"It was Snivellus, wasn't it?" James said as soon as they left the hospital wing. He was already plotting revenge.

"And Evan Rosier," Sirius told the. "Not that Evan did anything useful."

"What exactly did they do to your leg?" Remus asked.

"Some kind of swelling jinx," Sirius said. "It almost looked like I'd be stung by something. I don't remember reading about anything like it - it wasn't a regular stinging hex. Pomfrey seemed to think it was fifth-year spellwork."

"And Snivelly cast it? Not Rosier?" James was a bit surprised - from what he'd heard, he'd surmised that Snape grew up in the same Muggle village as Lily Evans, and he'd assumed one or both of his parents were Muggles. But it seemed like Snape had more magical knowledge than James had assumed - it was a miscalculation he would rectify.

"Snape cast it, but it was Evan's idea. Stupid prick. You know I used to defend him from Malfoy at parties? Everyone thought he was a Squib until he was 8 - talentless lump. And yet I'm the disgrace." Sirius sounded very bitter.

"Don't let that guy get to you," James told him, though he was seething with anger on his friend's behalf.

"Have you seen my leg? They already got me," Sirius grumbled back, pausing to lift his injured leg straight in the air to make his point. "First a detention, then an attack in the corridors, what a day…"

"You know what makes a terrible day just a little better?" Remus spoke up.

"Nothing will make this day better," Sirius responded, but Remus started digging in his pocket and didn't acknowledge the comment.

"Chocolate." Remus pulled out a candy bar and presented it to Sirius. "Eat it, it will help."

James chuckled as Sirius examined the candy bar and smiled in spite of himself.

"Do you just carry around chocolate all the time, Lupin?" Sirius asked, unwrapping it and taking a bite.

"Of course not. I was saving it for something special," Remus told him. Sirius paused mid-bite.

"Aww shucks, then why did you give it to me?" He tried to hand it back, but Remus put up both hands and refused.

"Sharing with a friend is something special," Remus insisted. "Eat it."

"Are you sure?"

Remus nodded.

"It is pretty good…" Sirius smiled and took another bite.

James grinned - Remus had succeeded in cheering Sirius up quite effectively, and he admired him for it. He threw his arms around both of his friends as they walked. "That's a better face, Black." Sirius shoved him off, but kept smiling. "Now, let's plot our counter-attack."

"James…" Remus sighed, but James was resolute. No one was going to attack a member of his tribe and get away with it. James Potter would protect his own.


	9. The Implications of a Counter-Attack

A/N: _Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited and followed so far!_

* * *

"Petey!" Peter was awoken far too early Thursday morning by an urgent whisper.

"Whassup?" He asked, half awake.

"Shhh, you'll wake the others," James whispered.

Peter rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times to clear his vision. "What's going on?" he asked quietly.

"I need your help with a little project before breakfast," James told him. "Hurry, get dressed!" Peter realized that James was already fully robed for the day.

"You want my help? No Sirius or Remus?" Peter was delighted, and immediately rolled out of bed and started looking for socks. James never wanted to hang out with Peter without the others. This was a huge opportunity to prove to him that he was just as fun as Sirius, and just as capable as Remus.

"You're the right man for this," James assured him. "Besides, I want it to be a surprise for Sirius."

"A surprise?"

"I'll explain on the way…."

Peter was shocked to learn of the attack on Sirius the night before. Peter had been targeted by bullies many times in his life, but he never expected suave, strong Sirius Black to suffer the same fate. Twice now in under a week's time Slytherins had come calling.

James had a very simple plan for retaliation - in fact simple to the point of juvenile. Peter's role was easy enough. James had enchanted a piece of parchment that read "Hex me" so it would stick to robes. It was a twist on the quintessential Muggle "kick me" sign, which Peter had once suffered at the hands of village boys when his mother let him wander to play with children his age. All Peter had to do was bump into Evan Rosier as everyone was walking into the Great Hall for breakfast and stick it on his back.

"They'll suspect Sirius is up to something if he bumps into someone," James explained. "Besides, this is revenge in his honor - I thought he might like the surprise."

"But why don't you just hex Rosier yourself?" Peter asked. "How do you know someone else will do it?"

James put up a hand. "Classic misdirection, Petey. We do this in the morning so that Rosier thinks this is the only prank we pull. He'll have no way to prove it was Sirius - because it wasn't, but if he has any brains he may guess where to place blame. I'm hoping for that. It doesn't matter if someone else actually hexes him, because I'll get him later when his guard is down."

Peter considered this. "I suppose that makes sense. But why are we targeting Rosier instead of Snape?"

James' normally cheerful face clouded, his hazel eyes hardening like cold steel. "Snape will get his comeuppance," he told Peter. "I'll never let him live this down."

At that moment Peter almost - almost - felt sorry for Severus Snape. He certainly wouldn't want someone like James Potter as an enemy.

His clever friend had also done some research and had plans to enchant the plates at the Slytherin table to make a general ruckus of the morning. Peter was a bit apprehensive about that part of the plan, but James had assured him that all he needed to do was watch the staff table to make sure no one caught him in action.

So Peter went about his duties with careful precision. Sure, the pranks were juvenile, but they were funny. When Sirius and Remus made it down, the former at first furious to have been left behind, James just offered a lazy grin and pointed over to the Slytherin table, where goblet after goblet of pumpkin juice exploded in the drinker's face, or leaked and dribbled down their chin. Sirius immediately started laughing when he saw Lucius Malfoy struggling to clean his expensive robes of the offensive liquid, and Peter felt the risk they'd taken had been entirely worth it to cheer the boy up. Sirius was still walking with a bit of a limp.

At least everything seemed rather funny and harmless until Rodolphus Lestrange made it down to breakfast.

"What's on your back, Evan?" The sixth-year asked. Though no one had hexed the boy, no one had bothered to point out the sign, instead choosing to snicker behind the child's back. Peter may have felt bad about the whole thing if he hadn't heard what the boy did to Sirius the night before.

Lestrange cocked his head then smirked as Rosier turned to him, clearly confused. He said something Peter wouldn't make out over the dull roar of breakfasting students. Then he pulled out his wand.

"He wouldn't…" Sirius was watching the table carefully and he wasn't laughing anymore.

"Wouldn't what?" James asked curiously, giving voice to Peter's question before it escaped his lips.

"Surely he won't in front of everyone like this…" Sirius was muttering to himself.

Suddenly there was an awful squeal of pain from the Slytherin table. It rang out over the regular din of students, echoing against the high ceiling and stone walls.

"Merlin's beard!" James said, as Remus gasped in shock. Peter wasn't sure exactly what had just happened, but Evan Rosier was now on his knees, blood spurting from his nose. Narcissa Black, who was seated not too far, leapt to her feet at once and rounded on Lestrange. Peter couldn't hear what was said, but apparently whatever she said convinced the boy to put his wand away, though there was an unpleasant smile on his face.

"What just happened?" Peter asked. Professor Slughorn had noticed the commotion and was running down the aisle between tables to Rosier, who was still bleeding rather profusely.

"Rolph hexed him," Sirius said grimly.

"Serves him right," James said. "If only it were Snivelly…"

"No," Sirius said, his eyes still glued to the chaos at the Slytherin table. "I wouldn't wish anyone on the receiving end of one of Lestrange's hexes."

Narcissa was kneeling beside Evan now and offered the younger child a handkerchief to wipe his face while Slughorn fussed over him. Peter was surprised to see the sincere concern on her face. He glanced at Sirius and almost opened his mouth to ask if she was always so maternal, but thought better of it. The other boy's eyes were stormy.

"Well, I didn't mean for anyone to get too seriously hurt - though Snape didn't seem too concerned about that yesterday," James said, looking abashed. "It was only a joke."

Sirius sighed and finally tore his eyes away from Rosier and Lestrange. "Of course it was, and it would have been funny if Lestrange wasn't a deranged maniac with a sick sense of humor."

"Perhaps I should call off the last part of this morning's plan…" James mused. But as he said it Peter heard a small boom from the Slytherin table and when he looked over once again, Severus Snape was covered in a combination of scrambled eggs and dungbomb. The pale boy turned bright red as students around him began to snigger and more away from the mess and what must have been a terrible stink. Slughorn gave him a cursory glance before returning to Rosier, who was still bleeding, though less dramatically.

Sirius looked over and chuckled. "Stupid prick," he said. "Now he totally deserved that."

James laughed, but Remus looked uncomfortable. Peter wondered if he was thinking the same thing he was. If Rodolphus Lestrange hexed his own housemates at breakfast for simple entertainment, what might he do to someone else?

Suddenly their war with the Slytherins seemed far more serious than Peter could have imagined.

/

Remus had hoped James would change his mind about retaliation against Severus Snape and Evan Rosier, but alas, his new friend had stormed forward with quiet resolve. James' prank had been harmless on the surface, but as Remus continued to gaze over at Evan, who was still bleeding and being led away by his Head of House, he felt rather ill.

Remus Lupin took no delight in the suffering of others. When people said hurtful and cruel things to him, he never imagined saying something hurtful or cruel in response. When he saw others in pain his first instinct was always to help, though his second instinct to pull back was the one he usually followed. No proper witch or wizard wanted the compassion of a werewolf.

He knew James had acted in good faith - his retaliatory instincts were born out of a desire to protect someone else. James had seen Sirius suffer, and he strode to send a message to those that had caused the suffering: advances will not go unpunished.

Remus understood James' line of thinking, and even respected it on some level, but he did not enjoy it. Severus Snape would have to run back to his dormitory to change his soiled robes - if he even had a second clean pair to wear - and Evan Rosier was being swept off to what Remus assumed was the hospital wing. He did not feel good about these things.

Then again, James had not counted on Rodolphus Lestrange using some kind of nasty hex on Evan Rosier. Even if James had chosen to hex Evan himself, Remus suspected it would have been a far less vicious attack - none of the hexes Sirius and James had been researching suggested any kind of permanent damage - they seemed the type to cause a level of discomfort and possibly disgust for a time, but wear off and leave no permanent injury. In fact, James and Sirius had discussed the merits of certain spells Sirius had pulled from books at home, and outright rejected a few spells as too questionable and edging on dark arts.

Remus suspected Lestrange had no such qualms about his use of magic.

Finally he found the courage to speak some of his concerns to his friends.

"I don't think that was right, James," he said quietly, afraid his opinion would be pushed aside. "I hope you might use better judgement next time."

James turned to him and grimaced. "Remus, I would never pick on someone that much smaller and less skilled than I am. Surely you know that!" The boy looked genuinely hurt at the suggestion. "My plan was to use a tickling jinx on him later in the hallway - nothing like what just happened."

Remus acknowledged that a tickling jinx wasn't a terribly cruel choice. "What did you plan to do to Snape?" He whispered, afraid of the answer. James looked profoundly uncomfortable and mumbled something too low for Remus to hear. "What?"

"I was going to paralyze him with the spell we learned in DADA and stick him in a suit of armor," James said louder.

Sirius snorted behind him. "Now that's something I'd like to see."

To Remus, it sounded very much like bullying. But when he thought of the way Sirius' leg had looked the night before, even after careful attention from Madam Pomfrey, he reasoned that James was looking for a punishment that fit the crime.

Remus didn't like it, but he could reconcile with it. He wondered if Severus had been fully aware of the effects of the spell he cast, or if he'd tried it blindly. He hoped it had been a blind attempt and not a willful choice to hurt another student.

"Come on Remus, you saw what Rosier and Snivelly did to Sirius. It's just a little prank to get back at them," James said, a bit defensive. "I won't even hex Rosier if it will make you feel better. Stop pouting about it and eat some sausage." He began shoveling food on Remus' plate.

"I guess as long as no one gets hurt…" Remus said, still feeling uncertain but losing the willpower to argue with his strong-willed friend.

"No one will get hurt," James promised. "And I'll be more careful in the future, knowing that Lestrange is as brutish as a werewolf."

Remus choked on the sip of pumpkin juice he was taking, caught off guard by the expression. But James didn't notice - he was turning back to Sirius to engage in conversation.

"I told you they were bad guys," Sirius was saying. "My aunt has it in her head that Rodolphus Lestrange is a good match for my cousin Bella so he's been around the house more than I'd like. That family has been inbreeding for generations - there's something off there."

Peter did notice Remus' plight, and pounded him on the back. "Wrong pipe?" he asked sympathetically. "I do that sometimes when I drink too fast."

"Thanks," Remus rasped.

Remus had been eager to get out of the Great Hall and wound up in Charms a bit early as a result, ahead of the others. He wasn't the only first-year Gryffindor who'd wanted an early start.

"Hello Remus," Lily Evans said, smiling at him. Remus tensed - he wasn't used to conversation without James or Sirius at his side, but he returned the greeting.

"How's Sirius Black?" She asked.

"The matron said he'll be fine, but he's still walking with a bit of a limp." The words came out of his mouth before he realized what he was saying and he scolded himself for revealing more than he should have. Sirius might not have wanted others to realize his weakness. Remus, of all people, should know better than to spill secrets.

"Still?" She looked visibly uncomfortable. "Did he say who…" She seemed unable to finish the thought.

"Who did it?" Remus finished for her. He was intuitive enough to pick up on her subtle cues. She nodded, looking miserable. "He mentioned it."

"You must understand, Sev must not have realized what he was doing!" She said, grabbing his hand suddenly and startling him. "He's not a bully - but sometimes he doesn't realize what his magic is capable of. He just loses control - hasn't that ever happened to you?"

Of course it had. Every wizarding child lost control here and now. But it was one thing to perform wandless magic as a young child - it was another to point a wand and fire off a potentially dangerous spell. Remus could believe Snape hadn't intended to do the amount of damage he did, but he had intended to do damage, that much was clear. But Remus did not have the courage to say this to Lily, especially when she had such a strong grip on his hand.

"Perhaps it was just a misunderstanding, an accident," he said quietly, feeling guilty for not defending Sirius the way James had done.

"I'm sure it was," she said. "You'll tell Black that, won't you?"

"Er - " Before he answered the door slammed open and the Fraser twins entered, followed by Henry Connors and Daria MacKenzie. The chatter saved Remus from having to respond. But the whole conversation left him profoundly troubled.

/

James and Sirius were very nearly late for Charms due to Sirius' limp, which was improved from the night before but still noticeable. James had offered his shoulder as support but Sirius had rejected it, stubbornly insisting on maneuvering all on his own.

James was a little irritated by how the morning had gone. He'd had Sirius laughing until Rodolphus Lestrange stepped in. Now Sirius was grumpy once more, griping about the long walk to Charms from the Great Hall and the fact that he had another detention to sit with McGonagall that night. James had already realized that Sirius was a bit prone to dark moods, and he feared it would take something elaborate to cheer him up this time. And as he'd promised Remus earlier, no one could get hurt. He would have to consider his options carefully.

The boys were spared the worst of Sirius' mood in Charms when he fell asleep ten minutes into class.

"I don't know how he does that," James whispered as Professor Flitwick drew intricate diagrams on wand movements on the board. Sirius had managed to balance his chair on two legs and his own legs were up on the desk - as he slept. James wasn't sure how he hadn't fallen over.

Eliza Corsica and Mary MacDonald had noticed and were giggling.

"He's so cool, even asleep," Eliza whispered to Mary, who nodded.

James' ears perked up. Eliza was taking an interest in Sirius huh? He looked her over critically. She wasn't as attractive as Lily Evans, but the girl was undoubtedly pretty, with wide brown eyes, a button nose dotted with faint freckles and thick, wavy, caramel-colored hair she often wore in low pigtails. James wondered if some feminine attentions would cheer Sirius up.

He spent the first bit of the lesson puzzling over whether to mention this to Sirius, who slept until Professor Flitwick spotted him 15 minutes in and cast a spell that caused Sirius' chair to tip.

"Bloody hell!" Sirius shouted as he came awake just in time to jump up and avoid crashing to the ground with his chair. He looked around wildly before his eyes fell on Flitwick and he realized he'd just been bested by a teacher.

"Good reflexes, Mr. Black," Flitwick said, a small smile on his face. "Perhaps you can now focus them on the topic of today's class?"

James and Peter both chortled as Sirius smoothed his hair away from his face, straightened his robes and squinted at the blackboard.

"Frankly Professor, I think our time would be better spent actually practicing the spells instead of just waggling our wands around blindly, don't you?"

James heard Remus cluck his tongue at disapproval of Sirius' cheeky response, but Flitwick didn't look upset.

"As tempting as it is to rush forward into the dramatic and flashy, basic fundamentals are key to casting," Flitwick told him.

"I think you misunderstand me, Professor," Sirius said. "I agree that every wizard should know the basic fundamentals - it's only that I've already been taught these wand movements. I can do these in my sleep." James covered his mouth with his hand to hide his smirk.

Flitwick regarded Sirius for a moment then spoke again. "A private tutor, I assume?" Sirius nodded. The professor's eyes glinted mischievously. "Well, Mr. Black, if you can, as you say, do these movements in your sleep, then by all means, go back to your nap. But I expect to see your want moving along with the rest of the class or I'll be forced to interrupt your dreams once again."

James wondered if Sirius was going to continue the argument, but instead he just leaned back and laughed. "Touche Professor, touche."

James was slightly disappointed - he'd enjoyed the repartee. Flitwick was a bright and responsive teacher, not inclined to overreact to a student speaking their mind, even if it was a bit out of line. No surprise as he was head of Ravenclaw house. His mother would have liked him, though Euphemia Potter attended Hogwarts before his time.

Thinking of his mother gave him the customary tug of loneliness in his chest. She'd written him nearly every day since he arrived at school, sometimes twice a day, but it wasn't the same as having her here with him.

The feelings consistently left him frustrated with himself. He should be enjoying his newfound freedom and the troublemaking opportunities it afforded him. But as good as the food was, no one was making a point to cook him his favorite meals. As comfortable as the bed was, he still didn't sleep as well as when his mother tucked him in. As cheerfully lit as the common room was, they didn't use the apple spice scented candles his mother always burned. Everything was lovely, but it was not the same.

And then there were the strange stories that kept cropping up in the paper. He'd written his parents with questions of course, but he only got perfunctory answers, and being at Hogwarts he could not sneak up to his parent's bedroom and eavesdrop on the whispered conversations they had where they thought he could not hear. The teachers never seemed to have such conversations in the halls, and James had scouted the staffroom only to find that the door was the same heavy wood as the rest of the castle and impossible to hear through.

It grated on him that he could not get the information he wanted, especially when Sirius kept dropping bits and pieces of things he'd once heard at home or information his grandfather had passed along in a letter. Surely the adults were speaking about the news. He needed a way to listen in on adult conversations.

Then it came to him. Something that would simultaneously cheer Sirius up and prove useful.

They were going to find a way to sneak into the staffroom.

It would have to wait a few days of course - Sirius had two more detentions to get through first. And they would have to work out a way to sneak in undetected. James had an idea of how to do that, but it would require a letter to his father and some good luck.

/

Sirius was on guard when he stepped out of Professor McGonagall's office Tuesday evening, scanning the hallway for any threat. He'd relaxed, however, when he saw James Potter, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew all waiting for him right outside. The threesome had parchment and books spread around them and it appeared they'd been doing homework on the hall floor.

"About time, Black," James said, standing up and stretching. "Do you have any idea what leaning over a parchment on the floor does to a bloke's back?"

"How long have you lot been sitting here?" Sirius asked, at once pleased to see them and a little embarrassed they'd come to collect him like he was a small child.

"An hour or so," Remus answered. "James and I have finished that Potions essay that's due Friday."

"Well that sounds awful," Sirius said.

"What do you mean? It's good to be ahead of the deadline," Remus said.

Sirius shook his head. He liked Lupin, but the boy was far too straight-laced. "There's no risk involved if you do it so far ahead. What fun with that?"

"Speaking of risk," James said as he began gathering his things off the ground. "I have a proposal." He stopped and stared at the others expectantly.

"Yes?" Sirius asked, impatient. He didn't want to be hanging in the hallway longer than necessary - his leg still wasn't completely healed up and he did not think he would fare well in a fight at the moment.

"Let's bust into the staffroom."

The pronouncement was met with wide eyes.

"Brilliant Potter!" Sirius said.

"No, James!" Remus said.

"Can we get a snack first?" Peter asked.

James laughed. "Not tonight - tomorrow, after Sirius gets out of detention."

"I can't. No…" Remus looked terrified. "The staffroom is private- it's only for adults - we'd be in so much trouble of we get caught."

"That's the fun of it, Lupin!" Sirius said, thrilled by the promise of adventure. "I'm in. Let's do it."

"I can't," Remus said again, looking miserable.

Sirius slapped a hand down on his friend's shoulder. "It's okay Remus," he said. "We won't make you." Sirius had no desire to force the other boy into anything - that had never been his game. Besides, a nervous accomplice was the first to make a mistake, and mistakes were how you get caught.

"Petey?" James asked, turning to the smallest of them. Sirius secretly hoped Peter would not tag along - the boy was loud and clumsy - no sense of stealth. But he tried his best to keep his face smooth and impassive.

Peter looked torn. "I guess someone should keep Remus company..." he finally said.

"All right then, a two-man team it is," James said. "We'll be sure to report everything back, don't you worry."

Sirius grinned. He was looking forward to it.

The next morning James received a small package in the post, not that Sirius thought anything of it at the time. He reasoned that James Potter might be the most spoiled child in Great Britain - the boy received packages and letters every day - sometimes twice a day! All Sirius ever got were letters from his father, grandfather, and occasionally Uncle Alphard. His mother hadn't written since the Howler.

Sirius had to hurry over to McGonagall's office immediately after lessons. When he finally stepped out the door two hours later, he was a little disappointed to see that no one had come to collect him. Granted, his leg was better - maybe they figured he didn't need a guard.

"Psssst. Sirius."

The boy nearly jumped out of his skin. "Potter?" He whipped around, trying to see where his friend had hidden.

"You look silly, Black." The disembodied voice of James Potter said again. It sounded like it was coming from right in front of him.

"What the devil…?" Sirius turned around again, squinting in the dim light.

There was a chuckle, and then Sirius had the startle of his life when James' head appeared not two feet in front of him. "Boo."

"Bloody hell!" Sirius groped for the head and his hands met it. It was definitely not an apparition - the hair was soft and messy as ever and the thing was solid. Suddenly he understood. "An invisibility cloak?!"

James grinned. "You like? Hey don't poke me in the eye!"

"Do I!" Sirius was quivering with excitement. Invisibility cloaks were incredibly expensive - even by House of Black standards - and usually wore out after a few years of good use. He'd never imagined even James Potter to have one. "How did you get it?"

"It's been in the family for generations," James said, which puzzled Sirius. "I wrote Dad yesterday asking if I might borrow it to sneak into the kitchens for a bit of a midnight snack. He sent it along and told me I could keep it!"

"Unbelievable." James Potter truly was the most spoiled boy in Great Britain. But Sirius didn't waste a moment on envy - he was sure his friend was going to share.

James grinned wider. "To the staffroom, then?"

With the cloak, the task was easy almost to the point of boring. The biggest challenge was moving in sync with each other, but they started slowly and after a staircase or two they were able to reach each other's body language with little trouble. They danced right past Argus Filch, the grump old caretaker, around Dorcas Meadowes, the clever Ravenclaw prefect and stood before the staffroom door.

"How are we going to get in?" Sirius whispered. "If someone's in there they're going to notice the door move of its own volition."

But at that moment Professor McGonagall swept around the corner. The boys froze, but she did not so much as glance in their direction as she opened the door. The boys looked at each other then rushed after her, slipping past the door just before it swung shut.

"Ahh, Minerva," Professor Flitwick was sitting inside the room, along with Professor Slughorn and Professor Sprout. "Now we can begin."

Professor McGonagall smiled at her colleague and took a seat. "My first-year Gryffindors appear to be settling in just fine," she told them. Sirius realized they were sitting in on a meeting of the Heads of House.

"Even Sirius Black?" Sirius winced when his name was mentioned. It was Professor Flitwick who spoke. "That Howler was a foul thing."

McGonagall pursed her lips. "Indeed it was. And admittedly he has already gotten into a spot of trouble. But the other teachers tell me his performance in class has been top notch, and from what I've seen of him in Transfiguration he's a bright student, if a bit cheeky."

"Perhaps the lad is just bored?" Professor Slughorn suggested. "I've had dealings with Orion Black - I imagine the family has had some fine tutors under their employ. The boy may be a bit ahead of the curve."

Professor Flitwick nodded. "You could say the same of James Potter. Did I tell you he managed to levitate me right off the ground in his very first class? Undeniable talent, that pair." James preened with pleasure next to Sirius under the cloak.

Professor McGonagall scribbled something on a piece of parchment she had conjured. "Let's hope they put the talent to good use and not more mischief. How are your first years settling, Filius?"

Flitwick waved his wand and a small notebook appeared. "I'm afraid the Patel boys had a spot of homesickness - though that's to be expected- the family just moved over from India the year before this to assure the boys a place here at Hogwarts. I imagine the weather alone is enough culture shock for them. I've asked Meadowes to keep an eye on them."

Professor Slughorn rifled through a set of notes before him. "Is that why Ednit was excused from class Friday?" Flitwick nodded and Slughorn made a note. "Well, my Slytherins are settling in just fine."

"What came of the incident with Evan Rosier, Horace?" McGonagall asked. "It was quite the spectacle. Is the poor child all right?"

"Just fine," Slughorn assured her. "It seems Evan was trying to learn a spell a bit ahead of his level from Rodolphus Lestrange and had bit of a mishap. I've spoken to him about the importance of age-appropriate education."

Sirius rolled his eyes. Of course Slughorn would be too enamored by the heir to the Lestrange fortune to realize the big bully wouldn't offer help to an eager first-year.

"Is that the version of events Lestrange gave you, then?" McGonagall asked primly. Sirius felt a rush of affection for his sharp Head of House. Clearly Lestrange would not pull the wool over her eyes.

Slughorn sighed. "Minerva, I know your opinion on Rodolphus, but really, he's just a boy. I'm sure what happened last year was just a terrible accident."

"He'll be 17 this year, Horace. Don't kid yourself into thinking the young man isn't dangerous."

Slughorn turned an ugly shade of red. "My dear, you may have been entrusted with the great responsibility of a deputy headmistress, and so Albus must have great faith in your judgement. But I have been a professor here far longer than you, and I don't appreciate you questioning my judgement in a matter regarding students of my own house!"

McGonagall had an expression on her face that looked entirely unimpressed. "Horace, surely you of all people realize that as hard as we try to inspire our students to be good citizens of the world, not all of them choose the paths we would have hoped. You can't ignore the whispers - just last week Antonin Dolohov was mentioned in connection with the Leeds murder investigation! The cult out there is growing stronger and it would be a disgrace to your duty as a professor to pretend students at Hogwarts are untouched by their mad mantra."

Sirius felt his eyes widen and elbowed James. What cult were they talking about? Who was Antonin Dolohov?

"Now, now, this is hardly the place for this conversation," Professor Sprout broke in, looking nervously between her two colleagues.

Slughorn sighed and shook his head. "I admit, I must have gone wrong somewhere with Dolohov over the years," he said, looking defeated. "But really, to think any current students would be involved in that…"

"Children do not stay children forever, unfortunately," Flitwick said in a soothing voice. "We can only do what we can for them while they're in our care. So we must do our best." He turned to Professor Sprout. "On that topic, Pomona, how are your Hufflepuffs faring?"

The rest of the meeting was unremarkable and Sirius felt his eyelids getting heavy toward the end. Finally, the professors wrapped up and the boys escaped as the adults made for the door

"What did you make of all that?" James asked when the coast was clear.

"I'm not entirely sure," Sirius said, pondering it over. "But I'll tell you one thing - it sounds like the professors know more about all these murders than the reporters at the Daily Prophet!"

James nodded in agreement. "It's all rather unsavory business, isn't it? Reeks of the Dark Arts."

"Mhmmm."

Suddenly, James smacked him playfully on the back. "Ah, well, the mystery deepens. But on a lighter note, with this cloak it should be easy to sneak some bludgers from the Quidditch cabinets."

"Bludgers?" Sirius asked.

James let out a long-suffering sigh. "Use your head, Black."

Bludgers, bludgers… Sirius grinned. "Flitwick's class?"

James shook his head. "Nah, I think it's time to raise a ruckus in Potions. "


	10. Childhood Antics

Peter was hiding under a table in Potions, praying the rogue Bludger didn't come his way.

Yes, a Bludger. Somehow, James and Sirius had managed to sneak a Bludger into the dungeon, and it was currently flying around smashing into cauldrons of half-finished hiccupping potions, destroying scales and likely leaving some students with some nasty bruises.

Some brave students, including James and Sirius, oddly enough, were trying to help professor Slughorn capture the thing. Peter suspected his two friends had joined the mix only to avoid heavy suspicion falling on themselves, but he wasn't sure they would succeed - James was laughing joyfully as he ran around the classroom, hopping up onto tables and even swinging from an out-of-place chandelier that Slughorn had hanging to give off more light.

"Watch it, Petey," Sirius said, running up and kicking the Bludger like the Muggles did with footballs as it came firing at Peter's face. It redirected and grazed Anita Selwyn in the arm before shooting toward Severus Snape's cauldron and sending his potion everywhere. Thankfully, Snape and Lily Evans had taken refuge with much of the rest of the class under Slughorn's desk, and no one was seriously burned.

"Accio!" Piper Windsor in Slytherin was trying to summon the ball into a box that the professor had conjured, but was not having much luck. Slughorn himself, a fully-qualified wizard, kept missing the Bludger with his summoning spells - the thing was fast and determined to avoid capture.

"There must be a better way to do that," Remus said from across the aisle. He'd also elected to scramble under a table. "Is there a specific spell they use to collect them after games, James?"

"Nope!" James said brightly, dodging the spirited object as it came barreling right for him. "Usually the beaters just collect them the old fashioned way." The ball smashed into a series of decorative paperweights on Slughorn's desk and they all shattered, sending shards of glass flying and eliciting squeals from the children under the desk.

"Which is?"

"Mine!" Steven Mulciber called, jumping from a table and catching the Bludger with his gorilla-like arms. He succeeding in capturing it, but the ball continued to struggle violently in his grasp.

"Like that," James said. "I hate to admit it, but that guy might have the makings of a good Quidditch player."

"Good work, son, ten points to Slytherin!" Slughorn said, rushing forward and snapping the enchanted box closed around the ball. "Well, how a Bludger got all the way through the castle down to the dungeons...we don't even have windows down here…"

James and Sirius suddenly became very interested in their feet.

"No matter," he said. "I suppose it's someone's idea of a joke." Slughorn wasn't much of a disciplinarian. He took a good look around the classroom and looked a bit less amused. "Though it seems there's no way to rescue today's lesson. He sighed and waved his wand, vanishing all the spilled potions. "Anyone hit hard enough to require a trip to the hospital wing?"

Poor Henry Connors, who had been smashed aggressively in the knee, raised a hand. Slughorn ushered him off with the Fraser twins. Slughorn glanced at his watch. "Well, there's only 30 minutes left anyhow. You're all free to go."

Peter grinned and finally came out from the table, stretching. "Shall we head down for supper?" he asked his friends as everyone collected their things.

"It's too early, Sirius told him. "Let's head back to the dorm for a bit."

The walk back to Gryffindor Tower from the dungeons was quite a haul, Peter realized as he followed his friends. As they usually stopped off for a meal in the Great Hall first, he'd never made the whole trip before. He was winded by the time they made it home, and dropped his bag on the floor and flopped on his bed with a little moan.

"That was brilliant," he told James and Sirius. "How in the world did you manage to get the Bludger?"

James grinned. "Can you keep a secret?" Peter nodded immediately. James glanced at Remus, who also nodded, then reached into his pocket.

"This," he said. He'd pulled out what looked like a handkerchief-sized patch of silver silk, but as he shook it Peter realized it was much larger than it initially appeared - it had been tightly folded. It shimmered as James held it up to the light. Then, with a flourish, James wrapped it around his shoulders, and disappeared.

"Whoa!" Peter squealed. "An invisibility cloak!"

"Those are fairly rare, aren't they?" Remus asked, interested. "Is that how you got into the staffroom last night?"

James didn't answer, but Sirius seemed to realize what was going on. "Oi, Potter, if you're nodding, we can't see you, remember?"

"Right, sorry," James pulled just the hood back, creating the illusion that his head was floating midair. "Yes, it's how we got into the staffroom. We could probably fit three of us under it right now, if you want to test it out."

"Are invisibility cloaks against the rules?" Remus asked uncertainly.

"Well, I'm not going to volunteer that I have one, but they aren't specifically mentioned on the prohibited items list. Dad checked before he sent this to me."

"Just think of what you can do invisible," Peter burst out, his mind whirring. It was usually James and Sirius that came up with the wild plans, but the chess player in him was thinking of all the strategic ways the cloak could be used. "We can get around the castle after hours, or avoid the Slytherins, or even just take a quick trip to the kitchens!"

"I know!" Sirius seized Peter's shoulders with both arms and shook him with excitement. "We can sneak into Professor McGonagall's office and swipe our detention records, or sneak down to the kitchens - maybe break into the prefect's bathroom…"

"Why the prefect's bathroom?" James asked.

"We could switch out the bubble bath with pickle juice," Sirius said without missing a beat.

"Why pickle juice?" James asked.

"Because pickle juice is disgusting. Who wants to soak in pickle juice?"

"But the smell would immediately give it away, giving the victim ample time to escape. Think bigger, Black," James said.

"Hair remover in the shampoo bottles?"

"I wouldn't mind seeing the kitchens." Remus said.

The other three turned on their heels to stare at him, mouths agape. Remus Lupin? Suggesting to break a school rule?

"What?" He asked. "I don't see the harm in a little snack…"

"LUPIN!" Sirius roared happily and released Peter to pounce on the other boy. "We'll make a troublemaker of you yet!" He ruffled the smaller boy's hair aggressively.

"I don't know about that…" Remus said, looking flushed and shoving Sirius away. "I was just thinking it might be nice to have a spot of hot chocolate before bed some night."

"Oh yes!" Peter agreed. "With just a bit of cinnamon and nutmeg."

"And whipped cream on top," James finished. "Tonight, we bust into the kitchens. I'm told by a reliable source that to get in you must tickle the pear in the portrait. Unfortunately the aforementioned source was unwilling to tell me where said portrait is located, nor what else is in the portrait."

"So it seems you only have partial information," Remus said disapprovingly. "And you plan to have us wander aimlessly after curfew?"

"Remus, dear boy, not all who wander are lost!" James said loftily. "Besides, Sirius and I have a theory.

"Which is?"

James' eyes sparkled. "The kitchens are directly under the Great Hall - right? Shacklebolt mentioned that and the house elves on our first night."

"I've been meaning to ask," Remus said. "What exactly are house elves?"

"What do you mean, 'what are house elves?'" Sirius asked.

"Remus has a Muggle mum, Sirius," James said. "House elves are a curious type of creature that live to serve wizards, doing chores and the like. Dad finds it a bit off-putting - the idea of being waited on hand and foot - but I'm sure Mum would love one."

"Your family doesn't have a house elf?" Sirius asked, looking surprised.

"No, it seems a ways back one of the ancestors thought it prudent to set the family elf free - something about slave labor. Rumor has it he sent him to Hogwarts, actually, when the elf insisted he needed work somewhere. Of course this was all before my time so I'm not entirely sure of the accuracy of the story. My lofty ancestor may have just squandered the family fortune and sold the elf."

"My family would never imagine freeing the house elves. We display their heads in the hallway when they die," Sirius said.

"That sounds perfectly horrible," Peter interjected.

"Barbaric," Remus said, looking ill.

Sirius just shrugged. "The elves consider it a great honor. Mad little creatures."

"So what do you say we give it a go tonight then?" James said.

"What if we get caught out of bed after curfew?" Remus responded. "We're supposed to stick to the common room or dormitory after hours."

"Come on Remus, live a little," Sirius said, throwing an arm around him. "Are you afraid of the dark or something? You just said you'd like a spot of chocolate."

"I'm not afraid of the dark," Remus said. "I'm just not sure it's wise."

"Of course it's not wise, it's reckless," James said. "But come on now, everyone wants to be young and reckless. I promise it will be great fun. Petey's down for it, right?"

"Yes!" Peter said, nodding vigorously.

"It's settled then," James said."

Remus crossed his arms and looked rather stern, but then relented. "If we find it, perhaps the elves will whip me up some chocolate pudding as well…"

Peter laughed. Among all the things he'd observed about his new friends, he'd learned that Remus had a bit of a sweet tooth, and particularly loved anything chocolate.

All four of them were in. The boys were going on their first real adventure together.

/

"This must be it," Sirius said, staring up at the portrait before them.

"Tickle the pear!" James told him, elbowing him good-naturedly.

With great ceremony, Sirius stood tall, smoothed his hair, then reached up and poked the pear in question. At once the portrait swung away, and all four boys gasped at what they saw before them.

Like the Great Hall above there were four long tables with a fifth perpendicular to the others. There were great fires and brick ovens all around, with all manner of pans, pots and other kitchen tools hanging from the ceiling. And it smelled delicious - the elves must have been baking bread.

"Well, this is quite a bit more impressive than our kitchen," Sirius said.

"Amazing!" Peter said, rushing in. A small horde of house elves rushed to greet him. "Hello sirs! What can we get you?"

"A spot of tea and some biscuits," Sirius said. "And some chocolate pudding for Remus here. Quickly."

"If it's not too much trouble," Remus added in a less domineering tone.

"No trouble, no trouble!" The elves immediately scattered to pull together the request.

"Is sir a Pettigrew?" One of the older elves approached and asked Peter, who looked confused.

"Why yes - but how did you-"

But the elf, who was wearing a bright red tea cozy, clapped her hands together and smiled widely. "You look like Mister Paul! Deedee knew your father very well!" She squeaked, looking pleased. "He liked his midnight snacks, he did."

"My father came down to the kitchens?" Peter asked, looking delighted. Sirius became curious when he realized he'd never heard Peter talk of his father. In fact, Sirius knew very little about Peter at all - he was easy to overlook.

"What's the deal with your dad, Petey?" Sirius asked as he accepted a cup of tea one of the elves had shoved into his hands.

"Er - I don't know much about him, to be honest," Peter said. "He died before I was born."

Sirius jumped as the elf named DeeDee dropped a tray of scones and biscuits with a clatter. "Oh no! How terrible!" She exclaimed. "Mister Paul was such a sweet boy!" She looked aggrieved and didn't even make a move to pick up the mess she'd made until two other elves rushed in to clear it up.

"I didn't know that," James said, frowning. "I'm really sorry to hear that."

"How did it happen?" Sirius asked, earning himself a kick in the shin from James.

"Manners, Black," James said. "Show some sensitivity."

"I'd rather not talk about it," Peter said. "Can't we just enjoy the fruits of our labors?"

"Yes yes, but not fruit, chocolate for Remus," James said as more elves appeared with plates laden with treats. "Here's to some good work today, boys."

Abandoning his interest in Peter's home life, Sirius took another look around. He had to admit, it was very exciting to be standing in the kitchen with the option to eat nearly anything he could think of. He'd never been permitted to pick the menu at home. His mother believed in formal sit-down meals, and snacks in between were out of the question. Sirius might try to sneak something once in a while, but he was not on good terms with the family house elf and he rarely succeeded without detection.

Granted, the Blacks ate very well - Sirius had never really objected to the food - it was the company he was forced to engage with that caused him frustration. The Great Hall was slightly better - for he had James, Remus, Peter and a slew of other more casual acquaintances around him, but he still felt like he was always being watched by disapproving eyes from the Slytherin table. Here though, it was just him and his three friends - no mother rapping him on the knuckles if his table manners weren't just so, no grandfather decrying his lack of interest in the political discussion of the day, no Bellatrix mocking him when he burned his tongue on the still boiling soup that only ever seemed to be delivered to his seat, and no Rodolphus Lestrange or Evan Rosier sneering at him from afar.

No, there was no one here but James, who was considering the choice of scones, Remus, who was licking a spoon clean of all remnants of chocolate pudding, and Peter, who was sampling every treat on the platter by shoving them in his face.

Eleven-year-old Sirius Black grinned in a merry way only a happy child can, and reached out for a biscuit.

After gorging themselves on all manner of snacks, the boys headed back to the common room, moving a fair bit slower than usual due to their stuffed stomachs.

They were just one stairway away from the tower when Sirius heard a sound that made his hair stand on end.

"Meowwwww."

He whipped around and glared. It was the caretaker's cat.

"Sod it." he said. The animal was already trying to slink away.

"You don't like cats?" Peter asked.

"The cat's going to go get Filch, Petey," James said patiently. "The older students warned us."

"Not if I catch it first!" Sirius took off after the animal, trying to scoop it up in his arms. The cat hissed and struggled, scratching clean through the sleeves of his robes.

"Don't hurt it!" Remus said, looking alarmed.

"You're more worried about the cat than my face?" Sirius asked after the animal took a swipe and left a big red cut on his cheek. It stung. He held the animal as far out as he could and considered his options. The cat was making a racket and the caretaker would be coming at any moment. He turned to his friends.

"Get under the cloak and make a run for it," he advised. "I'll distract Filch."

But James shook his head. "You're not going down for this alone. He'll be furious about the cat."

Sirius groaned. James Potter would insist on making a martyr out of himself. "Fine. Remus and Peter - go now!" Peter was already trying to scurry away, but Remus looked torn.

"It doesn't seem right to leave a friend behind…" He said quietly. "And James, the cloak is yours."

"Lupin, I can't battle this wild animal and reason with you at the same time. Go. Keep your record clean, Mr. Perfect Student." Sirius tried to smile through the scratches on his face.

"Go on, it's not like you're leaving us to die," James said encouragingly, stretching one arm and resting is casually on his head while handing the cloak to Remus with the other. "And we won't all fit underneath, especially running. Go along, we'll be just fine."

Remus nodded and accepted the cloak from James then began to follow Peter. He looked back several times before finally disappearing under the garment and catching up to Peter. Suddenly, they were both gone.

Sirius sighed in relief and turned back to the cat. "Shut up you stupid animal," he grumbled, dropping her. She landed nimbly on her feet and hissed at him.

"Mrs. Atwood? Where are you baby?" The caretaker, who to Sirius always looked shabby and unwashed, came around the corner not a second after Remus was out of sight. The cat ran to him, mewing furiously. The caretaker's beady eyes went from her to Sirius and James, then back to the cat again. He picked her up and stroked her.

"You manhandled my cat," he said to Sirius in a low voice. "And it's past curfew. Someone is in a great deal of trouble." He grinned unpleasantly and revealed that he was missing a tooth. Sirius resisted the urge to shudder.

"Your cat viciously attacked me unprovoked," Sirius told him, speaking in the calm and confident voice he often watched his father use. "I didn't hurt her in the slightest. I am the victim here. I'll need the hospital wing to ensure that these scratches don't scar."

"Victim or no, you two are out of bed past curfew, and my pretty girl caught you in the act. Misbehaving little cretins deserve a little corporal punishment, don't you think, Mrs. Atwood?" The cat purred.

James stepped forward. "Surely you aren't suggesting laying a hand on sons of two of the most influential families in Britain," he said, matching Sirius' calm demeanor. "Because that is what it sounded like."

"He wouldn't dare," Sirius said, glaring at the man. Argus Filch was nothing more than a castle caretaker - in a castle full of house elves that were sure to do the work more efficiently than a wizard anyhow. He was lowly and pathetic. Sirius Black was not about to let this man lay hands on him.

The caretaker opened his mouth to respond but at that moment none other than Professor McGonagall swept around the corner. "What is this? Students out of bed?"

"Technically, as we haven't gone to bed at all, that's not an accurate assessment of the situation, Professor," Sirius said, grinning at her. He was pleased to see her. His Head of House was strict but reasonable. There would be punishment of course, but it wouldn't be anything terrible. And he was rather pleased that he had been successful in getting Remus and Peter to escape any implication in their crime.

"Sirius Black? You're bleeding. Argus - what is going on here?" Her voice had its usual sharp edge as she rounded on the caretaker. "Really, I know she's your companion but this is the third time this week that cat has scratched a student. Why haven't you escorted him to the hospital wing?"

"I only just got here, Deputy Headmistress," Filch said, refusing to meet her eyes and continuing to stroke Mrs. Atwood. "And the children were out of bed."

The woman pursed her lips. "I see." She turned back to the boys and frowned down at them, looking over her spectacles. "Mr. Black. And Mr. Potter of course. The way things are going I have to wonder if you're actually trying to spend time in my office."

"We're rather fond of you, Professor," James shot back cheerfully. "And your office smells like ginger biscuits - it's rather cozy."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Mr. Potter," she told him as Sirius smothered his laughter.

"Professor! I would never try such underhanded tactics on you. I only speak the truth," James said.

She ignored him and Sirius flinched as she moved a lock of hair out of his face to get a better look at the deepest scratch on his face. "We'll discuss your punishment after Madam Pomfrey has a look at this scratch." She waved her wand and a handkerchief appeared, which she handed to Sirius to stop the bleeding. "Argus, now that I've taken these two off your hands, perhaps you can do something about the regurgitating toilet on the second floor?"

The caretaker grumbled something Sirius didn't catch, shot the boys a vindictive look and wandered away. Sirius suspected their little run-in with Mrs. Atwood would cost them in the future.

"So Professor," James said as they walked along to the hospital wing. "What'll it be this time? Lines? The trophy room? Perhaps a shot at cleaning the Quidditch locker rooms?"

"I fear you would get far too much enjoyment out of that last task," she told him. "And I suspect regular punishments don't have much effect on the pair of you. I suppose I will have to get more creative." She paused. "I don't suppose you have an excuse prepared for why you were wandering the halls two hours past curfew?"

Sirius laughed. "Would you go easy on us if we did?"

She shot him a look, but he swore there was a little tug of a smile at the edge of her lip. Yes, a tiny little tug. He suspected Professor McGonagall was a better sport than her prim exterior suggested.

/

Sirius and James racked up another detention being caught by Filch, and so Friday night it was just Remus and Peter in the dorm. Remus was somewhat grateful for this - he tackled his homework without distractions.

It was obvious that James and Sirius were on their way to being the best of friends. They were almost always together, and could maintain a conversation about anything and everything. To Remus it seemed as though they could read each other's minds, for one almost always seemed to know what the other one was about to say.

It wasn't surprising, really. Both James and Sirius were bright boys from wealthy pureblood families - their upbringing was probably somewhat similar. However while the Potters seemed to dote on their son, the Blacks seemed strict to the point of tyranny. Sirius had not approached Remus to discuss it again, but the Howler still weighed heavily on Remus' mind. Sirius' sorting had cost him, and though he acted like his treatment by the Slytherins was just a frustration, Remus suspected it cut far deeper than he let on. He wondered how much of Sirius' personality was a shield, an act to protect himself from further hurt.

And then there was James, their fearless leader. He wasn't sleeping well. Remus had not brought it up, but he'd heard the boy tossing and turning behind his curtains almost every night. Sometimes the curtains would flutter suddenly, like something behind them had just sat up abruptly. And one night, Remus swore he heard the boy calling out for his mother in his sleep. Remus wondered if James had nightmares.

Remus adored them for these vulnerabilities. It made him feel better to know that even the most gregarious people sometimes struggled with their emotions. Remus himself did a lot of struggling - choking down his persistent, pulsing fear every single day and trying to interact with the world as if he were a normal child and not a werewolf. Even if James and Sirius did not know the truth, they made it easier just by being there. Remus would look for ways to ease his friends' trials the same way they eased his with their friendship.

"Remus, fancy a game of chess?" Peter's voice called him out of his musings.

"So you can beat me again?" he asked, though he closed his Astronomy book and walked over to Peter's bed. The boy was grinning and already had the set ready to go.

"What do you make of classes so far Remus?" Peter asked as they began the game.

"I really like Defense Against the Dark Arts and History of Magic," Remus told him. "Those subjects are fascinating."

"I don't know how you stay awake during History of Magic," Peter told him, directing a pawn forward. "Binns is so boring."

"Binns is boring - but the subject matter isn't!" Remus insisted. "Our history textbook may be one of my favorites."

Peter glanced away from the board to look at him. "But you're doing well in every subject so far, aren't you?"

Remus shrugged, hoping he came off as humble. "I'm doing relatively well. But I certainly have to put in more effort than James and Sirius!" The pair only took occasional notes and rushed through their homework at the last possible minute, but they always seemed to have the answer when called on and in every practical they seemed to excel.

"I think you're just as clever as James and Sirius," Peter said. "You're just a better behaved student."

"Thank you, Peter," Remus said, blushing faintly. He had not been expecting such praise.

"I have to ask though...why don't you ever speak up in class?" Peter moved a bishop and looked into Remus' eyes. "You always have the answers but you never take the credit."

Remus felt his cheeks redden further, this time not in pleasure. Peter was right - he did not raise his hand in class, even though he almost always knew the answer. He did not want to draw more attention to himself than necessary, because then it may be more noticeable when he disappeared every month. It may cost him in participation marks, but if a professor picked up on his inevitable pattern of absences, it would cost a great deal more.

"I suppose I'm just a little shy," he lied. "I don't want to run the risk of being wrong and making a fool of myself in front of everybody." He moved his knight to avoid Peter's bishop.

"You'd never make a fool of yourself," Peter said, shaking his head as he stared at the bored. "That's my job."

"Whatever do you mean?" Remus asked.

It was Peter's turn to shrug. "You three are all too brilliant to notice that I'm the slowest in the class."

"Oh Peter, that's not true. You're great at Herbology!"

"Fat lot of good Herbology does me," Peter grumbled, moving his queen. "I still can't do anything right in Transfiguration and I can only do the most basic charms. Checkmate."

"Checkmate?" Remus looked down. Sure enough, Peter had beaten him once again. He sighed, then returned to the conversation at hand. "Herbology does plenty of good - it's especially useful in healing and potions, from what Professor Sprout has told us. And you'll catch up in the other subjects. We've only just begun."

"Do you really believe that?" Peter was fidgeting and avoiding Remus' eyes.

"Of course I do," Remus told him. "And I'm happy to help you anytime you need." Indeed he was - anything to help a friend. Peter was not stupid - his chess skills were proof of that - he just needed more practice.

"Thanks Remus." Peter smiled. "You're such a good friend. The best I've ever had, in fact."

Remus beamed back at him. The words meant more than Peter would ever know.

/

"Sirius, you need to clean your crap up!" James shouted at the other boy after for the third time he'd stepped on a magical firework, setting it off and burning through the sole of his shoe. It was Saturday and the boys were lounging in the dorm. James was fed up. He'd sat detention with Sirius the night before without complaint and without resentment, but the state of the dormitory had been stressing him out for a week. It seemed the house elves dusted and saw to the bedclothes every day, but left the children to their own devices otherwise.

"Potter - I was going to set that off at lunch," Sirius complained, completely ignoring the issue at hand.

"You're not going anywhere or doing anything until you contain this mess to your area of the room!" James told him sharply. "Even if we have to bar the door. Right Remus?" But James' confidence in his pronouncement faltered when he took a good look at Remus' area. It wasn't full of anything dangerous or dirty like Sirius' fireworks or discarded boxers, but there were books and bits of parchment everywhere. Remus himself was sitting on the bed, entirely surrounded by books and a quill poised over a piece of parchment that was laying flat on a book he was balancing on one knee.

"Errr…" Remus said. "You should try to clean up, Sirius," he said lamely.

James sighed. "What's wrong with you two? Don't your parents ever make you clean your rooms at home?"

"We have a house elf for that," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "Think I can convince one of the Hogwarts elves to do this for me?"

"Not if they value their limbs," James commented, taking off his ruined shoe and throwing it at the other boy. Sirius caught it and turned to Peter.

"Petey, how much do I have to pay you to clean this up for me?"

The other boy looked at the area critically. "Twenty galleons."

"What?! That's highway robbery!"

"I don't know - there are fireworks and dirty boxers, and whatever that thing is looks like it's growing fungus," James said. "Seems a reasonable price to me."

"Why aren't you bothering Remus about his area?" Sirius whined.

"As I just mentioned - your stuff is growing fungus. If Remus wants to run the risk of dying in a landslide of books that's his problem," James said. "Books don't explode." He was putting his foot down on this one - the mess was truly getting to the point that he feared a rogue firework was going to set the bed hangings on fire and someone was going to die a painful death.

"Fine, fine," Sirius said. He stood up, grabbed his wand off his nightstand and waved it in the air. At once his belongings began to wiggle and zoom around, but he clearly hadn't mastered the spell because things began crashing around everywhere.

"Why can't you just pick them up by hand?" James asked as he narrowly dodged a book that was aiming for his head. Remus had closed the curtains of his bed for protection, and Peter dove under his own for safety. James danced around the flying objects and grabbed Sirius' wand hand. The disturbance caused everything to freeze and fall to the ground. "Look, you've made it even worse."

"Why are you so keen to take the fun out of everything today, Potter?" Sirius asked him, looking put out. "It's a beautiful Saturday - we should go outside and explore the grounds - maybe pop over to Hagrid's. I don't want to trapped inside all day."

James opened his mouth to say no, but paused, tempted by the idea of a meeting up with the massive gamekeeper. But if let Sirius run out on this now, the situation would only get worse.

"A half hour of cleaning, then we go outside," he finally compromised.

"Deal!" Sirius said as Peter crawled out from under his bed and Remus pulled open the drapes. James went to sit over by Remus, careful not to tread on any books as he navigated the space.

"I'm pretty sure you're the only person he listens to," Remus said conversationally as he moved a few books over so James could sit. "Including the teachers."

James shrugged. "My father always said that sometimes a strong-willed horse just needs a firm hand. Sirius is the same way."

"I'm not sure he'd like being compared to a horse," said Peter, who was also coming to join them.

"Probably not, but it's accurate," Remus said. "He's like a stallion who refuses to break."

"I can hear you three, you know!" Sirius called over. "And why a horse? Why not a dragon? Or a manticore?"

"Manticores are highly dangerous magical beasts that eat humans," James told him. "And you can't breathe fire. But you are belligerent and think you're unstoppable - until something stops you. Kind of like a baby dragon." Remus and Peter laughed and Sirius threw James' destroyed shoe back at him.

James just caught it and laughed. He turned to Remus. "You know, don't take this the wrong way, but I'm kind of surprised by all the clutter over here. Your notes are so organized - I kind of assumed that would translate over into everything else."

Remus shrugged. "I've always like to read two or three books at once, so I'd keep them all close to my bed at home. I guess I got a little overexcited at the library and took out a few more than usual…"

James took a good look around, counting. "Remus...there are 28 books here. You mean to tell me you're reading all of them?"

"Pretty much."

"You're mad," James told him, but he was actually impressed. Remus always seemed like he was looking to get his hands on every piece of magical information Hogwarts had to offer, and he appeared to be succeeding.

Enticed by the promise of getting outside, Sirius did a surprisingly thorough job of cleaning his space in 20 minutes. "Can we go now?" He asked impatiently.

James surveyed the area with a critical eye, but it was a perfectly acceptable job. "All right, to Hagrid's then." He grinned.

As the foursome meandered down toward the gamekeeper's cabin something caught James' eye.

"What's that?" He asked, looking to the outcropping where the Whomping Willow stood alone.

"The Whomping Willow of course. Are you having a senior moment Potter?" Sirius asked

"Under the willow, you prat," James said, swatting him. He'd spotted indentations in the soil near the tree that looked like footprints. But students had been warned to stay away from the tree, which was supposedly dangerous. Forgetting caution, he began striding over to examine them.

"James!" Remus called after him, but James knew he was faster and Remus would just have to catch up. Sirius was only a few strides behind him and quickly reached his side.

"What did you spot, Potter?" he asked.

"They look like foot- yow!" James ducked as a branch came flying out of nowhere, despite the fact that there was no wind. "What in the -"

"Watch it," Sirius advised, hopping back to avoid another, smaller branch swinging out toward him. A few twigs brushed his robes.

"This thing moves on its own?" James asked, also jumping back so he was out of range.

"Whomping willows are sentient beings," Remus said, having caught up. "Very, very territorial sentient beings. Weren't you paying attention to the headmaster's speech at the beginning of the term?"

James shrugged. "A bit." In truth he'd spaced out halfway through the headmaster's speech during the feast. "But then how do you explain those footprints?"

"What footprints?" Sirius shaded his eyes with his hand and squinted for a better look.

"Down right near the trunk. Don't you see them?"

"I can't see anything from right here," Remus said. "It just looks like dirt."

"There are footprints!" James insisted, pointing. "Black sees them, don't you?"

But Sirius just shrugged. "Maybe you need new glasses, Potter. I don't see much of anything but a mess of dirt."

There were deep cuts in the soil all around the willow - James hadn't considered this before but now that he realized the tree was capable of movement he imagined the uneven tracks and disturbed soil was a result of the massive plant swinging its heavy branches around. The branches hung down almost to the ground, and admittedly it was hard to see through the foliage that was slowing falling off in the autumn cool.

But James was still sure of what he saw. "There are footprints," he said again stubbornly. "Someone got right up to the trunk. We should give it a try."

Sirius shook his head. "If they did, then they wound up in a bed in the hospital wing for their trouble." The tree shivered as if to emphasize his point. "I'm all for exploring Potter - but what's there but the trunk of a tree?"

"It doesn't seem worth the risk, does it James?" James had forgotten Peter was behind them and jumped a bit at the sound of his voice.

"Absolutely not," Remus said firmly, in a tone of voice James rarely heard from his soft-spoken friend. "Can't we just go see Hagrid?"

"And Cooper!" Sirius said excitedly. "I'm trying to teach him to play fetch!"

James shrugged, temporarily defeated by the majority rule. "Fine, let's go." He said. But he was positive the marks at the foot of the tree were footprints. And if someone else could get right up to the tree, why not give it a shot himself? He always liked a good challenge.


	11. The World Outside the Walls

"Hagrid!" Sirius called and waved both arms when he saw the man come around the corner of his cottage.

"Ahh, young Mr. Sirius Black," Hagrid said. "What're yeh kids up to today? Stayin' outta trouble I 'ope?"

"We were coming for a visit. I brought sweets!" Sirius had the foresight to bring down a bag of pilfered pumpkin pasties from the kitchens - the last time Hagrid had served them fruitcake and he'd nearly chipped a tooth.

"A visit? I suppose I can spare a minute for yeh lot," Hagrid said, his teeth showing through his bush-like beard as he smiled. "I'll start a kettle."

The four boys followed the man into the cottage and settled around the round wooden table within. Cooper, who'd been sleeping inside, raised his massive head and walked over to Sirius. The boy scratched the dog behind the ears and Cooper laid down on top of his feet, the big head resting on Sirius' lap.

"Enjoying classes?" Hagrid asked as he handed out mismatched mugs.

Sirius turned to Remus, expecting an enthusiastic reply, but his friend looked preoccupied and said nothing.

"Classes are fine. I like Transfiguration," James said casually, accepting a mug. "I'm more excited for Quidditch to start - Flavius McLaggen says the team this year is promising."

"A Quidditch fan eh? I enjoy the sport meself. I was a Gryffindor yeh know - I still root for 'em." His eyes twinkled as if remembering a sweet memory.

"You were a student at Hogwarts?" Sirius asked. He'd never seen the gamekeeper go about any of his duties with a wand, though the pumpkins in the back garden were so large he'd been wondering if they'd had a little magical assistance.

"Aye, I was," Hagrid said. "Didn' finish, a course, but Dumbledore kept me on as gamekeeper. Good man, Dumbledore."

"Why didn't you finish?" Remus asked, snapping out of whatever strange daydream had distracted him before.

"Ahhh, some unfortunate circumstances in me' third year. I was expelled," he admitted.

Sirius watched with interest as Remus went visibly paler. He was sure it wasn't just a trick of the dim lighting. "Expelled?"

"Aye." Hagrid rubbed the back of his neck. "Couldn' be helped. Hey now don't make that face!" Remus was almost white, as if the thought of expulsion was akin to death. "They won't be expelling students over something like, say sneaking into the kitchens." He winked at Sirius.

"I've no idea what you're talking about," Sirius said, but he was grinning.

"Oh so yeh baked these yerself?" Hagrid gestured at the pumpkin pasties and chuckled.

Sirius decided to take a shot in the dark. "Hey - if you've been at Hogwarts so long - did you know someone named Antonin Dolohov?" Professor McGonagall had been speaking as though the man was a former student at Hogwarts. Perhaps Hagrid would have some insight.

At once Hagrid's entire demeanor changed and James shot Sirius a significant look.

"Why are yeh askin' after Dolohov?" Hagrid asked brusquely.

"He's an associate of my father's," Sirius invented wildly. But this only seemed to make the man more tense.

"I went to school with Dolohov," Hagrid finally said. "But I didn' know 'em well - he was in Slytherin and a year behind. I haven' kept up with 'em." His tone told Sirius he was lying. Sirius was very good at determining when adults were lying to him.

The kettle whistled and Hagrid stood to grab it, but a heavy silence hung over the room.

"That's a shame," James said finally. "Say Hagrid, I've been meaning to ask - what's out there in the Forbidden Forest? You go in there from time to time, right?"

The big man relaxed. "There are all kinds o' creatures out there, good an' bad." He poured boiling water into each of their cups and Sirius wrapped his fingers around his, enjoying the warmth.

"Are there werewolves?" Peter asked.

Hagrid scoffed. "Werewolves? Now where'd yeh get that idea?"

"The older kids say - "

"The older kids don' know what they're talkin' about," Hagrid told him. "Werewolves are human all but one night a month - they're hardly livin' in a forest on the outskirts o' a wizarding school where they might be spotted when they could have a roof over their head somewhere else."

"They might not have a roof or a warm bed with the legislation that was passed last year." Sirius was not at all surprised that Remus was up to date on current laws and turned to him with interest.

"Ahh, well that'sa good point," Hagrid said. "Dumbledore wasn' too pleased with that.

"Why not?" Peter asked. "What kind of legislation was it?"

"Makes it harder for werewolves to get jobs. The poor souls are classified as beasts at the momen'," Hagrid explained.

"But aren't they?" Peter asked.

Hagrid sighed. "Depends on who yeh ask. And even then it depends on what definition of beast yer thinkin' - the legal one or the actual one. Centaurs - there are somma them in that forest - they're defined as beasts but they're a fair bit smarter than the average wizard, yeh ask me, and only dangerous if yeh start somethin' with 'em. I've always found 'em a pleasant lot. Werewolves lose their minds at the full moon, but are perfectly safe the rest of the time. Never met one meself, but I can' understand why we're takin' their legal rights away instead of tryin' harder to find a cure."

"My dad says most of the werewolf bites they see at St. Mungo's are actually bites already infected werewolves give themselves at the full moon, not fresh infections," James said knowledgeably. "He says they're most dangerous to themselves, provided they secure themselves properly before the moon."

"That's true," Hagrid said. Sirius was listening with great interest. His parents referred to werewolves as "half-breeds" and he couldn't imagine they'd ever wasted a moment concerned for their fellow man's plight. Hagrid's perspective was entirely new to him. "The vast majority o' werewolves that live with other wizards and witches keep to themselves and do their best to lock 'emselves up during the moon to avoid any close calls. Some of 'em do live in colonies in forests but only ones far removed from human society - not our forest," he assured Peter.

Remus had grown quiet again and so this time Sirius poked him. "Earth to Remus. You brought this up - what are your thoughts?"

"My thoughts?" Remus looked conflicted. "Well I think werewolves need to be secured during the full moon."

"Well o' course," Hagrid said. "That's just fer safety."

"I don't think all the legislation is right though," Remus continued. "I think everyone deserves a chance to pursue employment."

"Well said," James said.

"But what if the werewolf infects other people?" Peter asked worriedly.

Hagrid shook his shaggy head. "Wouldn' happen, or at least not likely. Werewolves are contagious only when transformed. If one bit yeh right now ye'd suffer nothing that couldn' be put right by Madam Pomfrey. Ye'd probably never even know what bit yeh."

"Wait," Sirius said. "Let me make sure I understand this clearly. So once a month during the full moon a werewolf transforms, not by their own choice, and becomes a dangerous beast. But every other night they're just perfectly normal people, like you or me. One could be walking among us right now, and none of us would be the wiser." Hagrid nodded. "So then why the hell are we passing legislation banning them from employment? Sounds like those old Muggle-hunting bills my grandfather is always harping on about it. Load of bullocks."

"It's not completely," James countered. "Dad says the werewolves maul themselves. They probably miss a fair bit of work."

"All the more reason not to limit their job opportunities, if you ask me." Sirius sniffed. He was not liking the sound of this werewolf hate - it sounded very much like the Muggle hate he was always hearing at home.

"Fair point. But you have to consider the safety of others - the werewolf registry and legislation exists for that very purpose," James said. "Don't you think, Remus?"

Sirius observed that the boy was holding his teacup far too tightly. It was subtle, but there were ripples across the top of the tea that betrayed the fact that he was shaking. It was clear something had upset him. What had him so bothered? "Um, yes, the safety of others would need to be considered," Remus answered. "Others could be infected, or even killed."

Peter let out a pitiful little sound. "Can we talk about something else? That's terrifying."

"You're the one who brought up werewolves in the first place," Sirius snapped back a bit irritably. He wanted to know more. Did veela and vampires and leprechauns suffer the same prejudices as werewolves?

"Ahh, that's all right - the lad's jus' curious," Hagrid said indulgently. "You know what else we got in th' forest?"

The three boys shook their heads and awaited the answer.

"Unicorns," Hagrid said. "Beautiful things boys. Ye'll study 'em if you take Care o' Magical Creatures."

"Ohh, I'd love to see a unicorn," Peter said.

"I'd rather a dragon," Sirius said.

"Yeh an' me both," Hagrid told him."No dragons in this forest' though. The Ministry thinks they're too dangerous."

"My parents took me to the MacFusty dragon sanctuary once," James said. "It was brilliant. Great fire-breathers everywhere!"

The conversation continued until lunchtime when the boys bade Hagrid goodbye. They'd entirely forgotten their plans to play outside, but Sirius still felt it was a morning well-spent, and he had a whole afternoon to look forward to.

/

Remus was shaken. It was bad enough that James had a rising curiosity in the tree that guarded his dangerous secret, but it wasn't the worst information he'd just been provided. It had been a week since he'd been down to the shack with Madam Pomfrey. Surely any footprints they'd left would be long gone by now. But that meant someone else must know the trick of the Whomping Willow.

He'd had a strong urge to beg off and run to Madam Pomfrey for answers, but he was afraid that would look suspicious. So instead he swallowed his mounting terror at the prospect of discovery and followed his friends down to Hagrid's, where he'd been so flustered he'd spoken without thinking and stumbled into a political discussion of werewolves - something his father had specifically told him to avoid! The conversation had moved passed the topic smoothly but he kept playing his words over again and again in his head, hoping they had been innocuous and did not brand him as the monster he was.

Yet it had not been all so terrible. Hagrid, the great, burly man he had written off as warm but rather simple, had a far deeper understanding and compassion for those with his affliction than Remus ever could have predicted. He wondered again about the rumors of giant's blood, but he knew he would never asked. He was unspeakably grateful for Hagrid's attitude and it would not do to pry when he knew the pressure that put a person under. He wished he could thank the man, but of course that was impossible.

Despite the butterflies in his stomach, he piled his lunch plate high and was about to dig in when the doors to the Great Hall burst open with more force than usual and Gideon Prewett strode through.

Only it wasn't Gideon - the young man was a few years older and his face was slightly longer. He was also wearing navy work robes instead of the customary black Hogwarts uniform.

"What's Fabian Prewett doing here?" Sirius asked, leaning back off the bench and craning his neck for a better look. "He would have graduated at least two years ago."

Gideon Prewett had an older brother. That explained the resemblance. Had something happened to Gideon? Remus watched anxiously.

"Dumbledore." The man addressed the headmaster, who rose to greet him.

"Fabian. What are you doing here?" The headmaster sounded calm, but Remus was sitting close and the old man's eyes betrayed a certain amount of disquiet.

"How did he get in?" Professor McGonagall asked, looking between the two men. "If you wanted to see your brother you should have sent an owl."

"It's all right, Minerva," Dumbledore said. "Fabian is a friend of Hogwarts, even if he is no longer our student."

"Lovely to see you, Professor," Fabian Prewett removed his hat and bowed to his former Transfiguration teacher. "I'm sorry to burst in, but it couldn't wait. They sent me because I was closest. Dumbledore - it's the Podmores. Sturgis wasn't there, but they got his parents, sister and brother-in-law. There are two kids…"

"To my office," the headmaster said, obviously aware of the hundreds of pairs of eyes staring at them. He raised an arm and indicated that Fabian lead the way.

Remus realized he'd been sitting with his fork half-raised and full of food that never made it into his mouth. He replaced it on his plate and turned to Sirius, who'd nearly fallen over off the bench in his eagerness to see what was going on. "Who are the Podmores?"

"Mum's a friend named Mrs. Podmore," James answered. He looked uncharacteristically somber. "She lives in Manchester and has two kids - one is married. She and mum are always talking about the grandkids…" he trailed off and Remus was suddenly inexplicably cold. _They got his parents, sister and brother-in law…_ Fabian had said.

"James," Remus said quietly. "I think you need to write your mum right now. Something nice, that will make her smile."

"Why?" Peter asked, looking lost.

"Because the Podmores are probably dead, Petey," Sirius said in a tone far more gentle than usual.

Peter gasped and his eyes widened in that look Remus knew to associate with terror. "How can you be sure?"

"You don't just burst into Hogwarts looking for the headmaster with good news." Sirius said grimly.

The boys saw Fabian Prewett again later, standing with his brother on a staircase landing just above the Great Hall. They were having some kind of whispered conversation and Gideon, who was always amicable, gave the first years a dirty look when they tried to edge forward and listen in.

The boys were, unfortunately, correct in their estimation of the situation. The evening copy of the Daily Prophet carried the story.

 _4 Murdered in Manchester Home_

 _A well-known Manchester couple, their daughter and her husband were murdered in their home Saturday morning._

 _Ministry officials identified the victims as Annabelle and Paolin Podmore, their daughter Yvonne Flores and her husband Javier._

 _A source close to the investigation who spoke on the condition of anonymity said the Podmores were killed with the Killing Curse, but that their daughter and her husband had apparently put up a fight, for they both had significant injuries inflicted by both physical and magical means._

" _It was a devastating scene," the source said bluntly. "There was all manner of damage to the property and the bodies of the younger couple were covered in cuts and burns. We suspect a reckless use of explosive spells."_

 _Miraculously, two children were found unharmed in the basement of the home, hiding in a broom cupboard surrounded by wards._

 _Aurors declined to provide any other details or release a description of any suspect(s)._

"What is that thing?" James asked, pointing to a strange smoky cloud in the picture of the crime scene outside the home. As Remus squinted for a better look he realized it wasn't a cloud at all - it was a wriggling snake inside a skull.

"Apparently murder itself isn't gruesome enough - they have to leave a calling card as well," Sirius said, looking disgusted.

James was visibly upset, which was reasonable as he'd been acquainted with one of the victims. "A calling card!" He threw his hands up in the air. "What kind of sick fiend does a thing like that?"

"They're trying to send a message," Sirius said darkly.

"But what? And to who?"

"To everyone," Remus said. The ghastly symbol was high in the sky - meant to be seen over a large range. "And to Dumbledore."

"Dumbledore?" Peter asked. Ever Sirius and James looked at his curiously.

"I think Fabian Prewett is working for Dumbledore," Remus reasoned. "Why else would he come straight here to report the deaths?"

"Maybe Dumbledore knew the Podmores well," James suggested, but Remus shook his head.

"Even if he did, why would someone burst into the Great Hall at lunch to deliver that kind of news? It was presented too brusquely to be breaking devastating news to a good friend - too matter-of-fact. It was a report," Remus concluded.

Sirius looked impressed. "That does make sense."

"None of this makes sense!" James exclaimed. "Every other day we're reading about murders - Muggle and wizard alike. Something's going on and the adults aren't telling us what."

"Did it ever occur to you that it might be for your own good?" The boys turned to Kingsley Shacklebolt, who'd spoken. "You're yelling, by the way."

"How can you say that, Shacklebolt. It's wrong for adults to lie to kids!" Sirius said.

"I don't think they're lying to us, per say, " Shacklebolt told them. "I think they're just trying to let us act our age by leaving some things out."

"A lie of omission is still a lie," Sirius insisted. "I hate being lied to."

Remus squirmed, uncomfortably aware that he was lying to Sirius by omission every single day.

Shacklebolt shook his head. "You know, most first years are concerned with Quidditch, classwork and fart jokes, not murder mysteries."

"Fart jokes? Please. That's totally undignified," James said.

"Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffft." Sirius giggled.

Remus, James, Peter and Kingsley all looked at each other and burst out laughing. The tension was broken and the dark news of the day forgotten. Remus even forgot his concerns about the Whomping Willow, for the time being.

/

It was dark over the Potters' home as James approached, and he had a deep sense of foreboding. Why hadn't his parents come to greet him at King's Cross for the Christmas holiday? Remus' mum had offered to Apparate him home instead.

But that made no sense. Remus' mum was a Muggle. And where was she now?

And how could his parents have forgotten the train was coming in. Surely he had mentioned it to his mother in one of his letters. When was the last time he had written her? He could not recall.

There were no lights on and the sky was darkening, for it was dusk. James reached up to open the door, but it was locked. "Alohomora." The lock clicked open. Why did wizards bother with locks anyway?

But that wasn't right either. His mum never did bother with locks - she sealed the house off with protective charms that the family could pass through without hindrance.

Thunder roared and lightning flashed, lighting up the night sky. James looked up and saw what was hovering over the house. Then James screamed.

"Potter! POTTER!"

"NOOOO!" James came back to the waking world fiercely - kicking and shouting and punching.

"Snap out of it will you?!" A voice was trying to reach him and something was holding his arms against his torso. Sirius.

James realized he was sitting up in bed at Hogwarts. And sweaty and panting. A nightmare. Just a nightmare.

"That's better." Sirius - James knew it was Sirius even though it was too dark to see his face - released his arms. "Lumos." The boy's wand lit the space and his friend peered at him. "Nightmare?"

James nodded, rather embarrassed.

"Must have been pretty bad to have you go to spare like that."

"Sorry I woke you," James said shortly. The fear had ebbed away and now he just felt humiliation. What must Sirius think of him now?

"Oh, you didn't wake me - I couldn't sleep in the first place." Oblivious or overlooking James' tone, Sirius crawled into the bed. "You want to talk about it?"

James sighed. "Not really."

"Did it have to do with the news about the Podmores?" Sirius asked.

James cursed - it was usually Remus who was the intuitive one.

"That's a yes," Sirius said. "Here, drink some water." He handed James a glass from the bedside table.

"Thanks." James downed it in one breath.

"Everyone has nightmares you know," Sirius told him. "It's not like you wet the bed or something."

James made a noncommittal noise and fell backwards back onto his pillow. "Why couldn't you sleep?" He asked, desperately seeking a change of topic.

"I figured if I went to sleep I'd have nightmares about that creepy calling card above my house."

James stared at Sirius for a moment, then laughed and shoved him hard on the shoulder. Sometimes it was like they shared a brain. Just like that, he felt better.

Sirius stayed in James' bed and the boys awoke the next morning to an amused Peter staring down at them. "If you two don't hurry up and get ready, we'll miss breakfast."

"Ugh but it's Sunday," Sirius whined. "Can't we have a bit of a lie-in?"

"Come on Black, I'm starving," James said, shoving the other boy out of bed.

"I don't see why we can't just nick something from the kitchens later," Sirius complained, but he crawled back to his own bed and began digging for something to wear.

"James?" Remus spoke his name softly while Sirius rifled through drawers and Peter went to get washed up.

"What's up?" James asked as he picked a pair of robes to wear.

"I...um...well...just...here." Remus stuttered and dropped something into James' hand, then scurried back to his own bed. The behavior was weird and James unwrapped the package curiously. It was a hunk of chocolate.

He smiled to himself. Remus was always the intuitive one. And discrete about it.

He received a lengthy letter from his mother that day which included the news of the Podmores, though without the grisly details in the paper. She informed him that she and his father would attend the funerals, which came as no surprise, then changed the topic to the Christmas holidays and how she had plans for a splendid party this year.

The next week passed inconsequentially. Classes continued to be interesting but slow-moving, and James and Sirius continued to practice more advanced magic in their downtime, often following along with Remus to the library. Quidditch season did not start until October and games until November, and James was starved for some extracurricular outdoor activity.

He found the answer one afternoon watching a group of Muggleborn students.

"What are you playing?" He asked Mary MacDonald. There was a group of students out on the grass kicking a round ball around. It appeared the objective was to score by kicking the ball into a net propped up between two sticks.

"It's called football," she told him.

"It's a Muggle game?" Sirius asked. She nodded in response.

"Can we play?" James asked eagerly. It didn't involve flying, but it did involve lots of running, and that was bound to burn off some energy.

"Sure," she told him. "It's just a pickup game so the rules are basic. You score by getting the ball into the other team's goal, which is being guarded by the goalie - kind of like a keeper. The goalie is the only player allowed to use his hands to touch the ball. The ball has to be in motion - you can't catch it between your legs and hop or balance it on your head or anything like that - you have to dribble or kick it. And like Quidditch, you're not supposed to manhandle the other players. Do you understand?"

"I think so," James said, his eyes darting back and forth at the ongoing game. Lily Evans was playing, her long hair pulled back into a ponytail. Hestia Jones from Ravenclaw was also in the thick of it. Henry Connors was playing goalie for one side, and another boy James recognized from Hufflepuff but didn't know was in the other.

James and Sirius jumped into the game with their typical fervor while Remus and Peter watched from the sidelines. It wasn't as exciting as Quidditch, but it was something to do, and James enjoyed the competitive nature of the game.

"Oi, Evans!" He shouted and passed the ball to her. She received it gracefully and spin around, kicking hard and landing a goal on the Hufflepuff.

"Brilliant!" He grinned. This was the fourth such play they'd made together. "We make quite the team, Evans."

She just shrugged and turned away to talk to Mary.

"I don't know why you bother with that one, Potter," Sirius told him.

James wasn't really sure either.

"Oh no…" Mary's voice distracted James from the topic at hand. He looked up and saw Rodolphus Lestrange approaching with some of his Slytherin cronies.

"What's this? A little gathering of Mudbloods?" the sixth-year asked, leering down.

Lily looked annoyed, but Mary must have known the true vehemence behind the word because she visible recoiled. James felt a rage build up upon seeing that. It wasn't right for that great Slytherin git to make an 11-year-old girl feel that way.

"Don't use that kind of language!" James told him, stepping forward to put himself between Lestrange and Mary.

"Oh look, they recruited a cute little blood traitor to their cause." The group laughed and James glared. He steeled his shoulders so he blocked Mary and he looked up at Lestrange, who was over a foot taller than him and far more muscular.

"Bugger off, Rolph," Sirius said, coming to stand next to James and putting his shoulder against his, creating a wall. "No one was bothering you."

The older boy frowned. "That's where you're wrong, little Black. Mudbloods bother me just by existing."

"I said stop it with that language," James snapped, pulling out his wand.

"What? Does that word offend you? You should watch the company you keep, Potter - if you're not careful you might find yourself contaminated."

James was angry, and didn't even think to check for teachers before he fired off a jinx. Lestrange deflected it easily and laughed. "You really want to do that?"

"Potter, put the wand away, it's not worth it," Lily stepped forward and put hand on his shoulder. "He's just a bully. We know better than to let that silly word get to us."

James wasn't sure he believed that - Mary looked close to tears and Hestia Jones looked angry.

Remus and Peter had realized the situation was escalating and were walking toward them, but before they arrived, another voice cut in.

"Rolph, stop picking on the firsties," Narcissa Black, Sirius' cousin, had appeared on the scene. She was only in fourth year, but she commanded attention in the way a full-grown witch might. As it was the weekend she was out of her black robes, instead opting for silky ones in Slytherin green. She was wearing a thick black belt that emphasized her tiny waist and her long blonde hair fell in a shining mass down her back.

"But Cissy, picking on the firsties is so fun. Bella always enjoyed it."

Next to James, Sirius bristled at the sound of his cousin's name.

"You and I both know Bella expects more of you now," Narcissa said, narrowing her eyes at the teen. "This kind of behavior suggests you might not be taking that very seriously.

This comment caused a change in Lestrange - his cocky face fell and he was looking at Narcissa like she had struck him. "I take that very seriously," he grumbled. "Come on you lot, let's go before we get touched by one of these disgraceful excuses for Hogwarts students."

Narcissa watched him go with cold eyes. When he was a distance away, she stepped forward and leaned in to whisper in Sirius' ear. "You and your friend should consider the company you keep more carefully, Sirius." She said.

"Sod off, Narcissa!" Sirius said loudly.

The girl straightened quickly, looking affronted but still dignified."I was just trying to give you some friendly advice. Pureblood should stick with pureblood. Where is your pride?" With that, she turned and she was gone.

James and Sirius looked at each other. "Godric, I hate my family…." Sirius muttered.

James shrugged, knowing Sirius wouldn't want to get into it in front of the others. Instead he turned back to Mary and Lily, who were still standing behind them. "So, what do you say to another game?

Lily rolled her eyes. "I see you enjoy playing the hero, Potter, but don't try that on the field."

/

The first month or so of classes flew by in a flurry, and they were some of the best weeks of Peter's young life. Not only did he have friends, but somehow he'd found himself surrounded by the charismatic and commanding James Potter, the popular if slightly pompous Sirius Black, and the clever and kind Remus Lupin. All of Gryffindor seemed drawn to James and Sirius, who had a natural way with people, and Peter seemed to reap the benefits. As a result, the older students had picked up on the fact that Peter was unusually talented at chess, and they seemed to think his skill in that made up for some of his academic shortcomings. This meant they were often amenable to helping him master a particularly tricky charm or help him with a quick Q&A assignment, though only Remus seemed to have the patience to look over his essays for him.

Peter was constantly in awe of James Potter, who seemed capable of anything and put his skills to work in everything from academics to sports to mischief-making. James had already racked up five detentions - all for things Peter never would have had the nerve to even consider. James was not without his quirks though - the other three had quickly learned that James was a neat freak, which was hard to believe if you judged by his hair. But it was true - James Potter had a place for everything, and Merlin help you if you dropped your bag too close to his area of the dormitory.

Then there was Sirius Black. Like James, the pureblood boy seemed to have everything come rather easily for him, save for the issues he seemed to have with Slytherin house. He'd taken to study hexes and jinxes to protect himself, and it was somewhat frightening how quickly he picked everything up. Peter was grateful they were both on the same side.

Sirius also had a weird ability to fall asleep in the most random of places - class, other people's beds, the Great Hall - they found him skiving off History of Magic and asleep in a broom closet the other day. Remus found his habit of sleeping in class particularly irritating, and often prodded him awake with his wand.

As far as Peter saw it James and Sirius were the quintessential definition of Gryffindor. Rebellious, brave, and quick to stand up for what they believe is right. Unfortunately that got them into constant trouble, and Peter was trying very hard not to go down with their ship.

But there was Remus Lupin, his saving grace. Remus was the quietest of the three, and the least likely to drag Peter into something dangerous or troublesome. Remus was brilliant, but in an unassuming way. He was like a sponge - taking in everything around him and turning the information to his advantage. He was also a vociferous reader, consuming material as if he was determined to glean every little piece of information out of every book in Hogwarts in his time as a student.

What Peter couldn't understand about Remus was that despite his obviously brilliant mind, he never seemed to raise his hand in class, preferring to keep quiet, even when Peter knew Remus had the answer because he'd told him the night before while he poured over class material in advance. A few times Peter had finally raised his own hand and provided the answer Remus had given him, and Remus would always smile at him as if glad that Peter was taking the credit in class for what Remus clearly deserved. It made no sense, but when he approached Remus about it, the boy claimed he was just shy, and quite frankly, Peter needed every extra piece of credit he could get.

Peter felt surrounded by greatness. His friends were somewhat intimidating and confusing, but it didn't matter, because these boys, so out of Peter's league, seemed perfectly content including him in their group. While Sirius may throw out a sharp comment in impatience at Peter over their homework on occasion, and James may take the teasing a little farther than Peter liked, and Remus - well, Remus never said an unkind word to anyone - they liked him - they often came looking for him if they got split up - they whispered him the answers he didn't know in class - they snagged him his favorite black pudding from the Ravenclaw table if none appeared for them - they even woke him up to go on nighttime adventures.

"Petey!" James and Sirius called out, having headed to the Great Hall separate from him and Remus due to having to arrange detention with Professor Sprout after they'd begun tossing back and forth a chuck of mooncalf dung and Sirius missed a volley, leading to the dung splattering all over Mary MacDonald and Lily Evans. Both Remus and Marlene McKinnon had scolded them just as roughly as Professor Sprout had done once she allowed them to return to their seats, but the boys had seemed entirely unconcerned.

James dropped down on the bench next to him. "So gentlemen, it's officially October. Do you realize what that means?"

"Pumpkin spice and apple cider?" Peter asked dreamily.

"Jumpers and fuzzy socks?" Remus suggested.

James looked perturbed. "No! It means we need to start planning an epic Halloween prank!" He shook his head. "There's so much I must teach you," he said.

Sirius laughed. "It has to be something we can pull off in the Great Hall, during the feast," he said in a voice far too loud to be secretive.

"You firsties will have to wait in line," Gideon Prewett, who'd overheard, told them, grinning. "Pranks are a Prewett specialty you know. And as the last Prewett in his final year, I intend to make it memorable."

Sirius considered this for a moment, then grinned. "I guess we'll let you have your moment," he said demurely.

The seventh-year chuckled. "Your time will come, kiddo." He got up and walked over to talk to Frank Longbottom in sixth year.

Sirius' face split into a wide grin. "Even better, gents," he said. "We'll prank the prankster."

"How are we going to do that if we don't know what he's planning?" Peter asked.

"It shouldn't be that hard to figure out," James said. "After all, we have a secret weapon." He patted the pocket where he always kept his invisibility cloak for safekeeping.

Even Remus laughed at that. Operation Prank the Prankster was officially underway.

The plan involved a great deal of hanging around under the invisibility cloak, stalking after Gideon. Peter was almost discovered - and heavily bruised - when he tripped down the stairs chasing after the redhead one night. But it was a welcome distraction from homework and all the scary news in The Daily Prophet every other day. Remus insisted on reading the paper every day and reporting back to James and Sirius. Peter could not understand why his friends were so obsessed with the news of the murders - they were only children! Peter wanted nothing to do with it, but he was afraid if he said so Sirius would give him tongue-lashing and James would think him a coward. He considered approaching Remus alone, but he didn't want to put his friend in an awkward position. Instead, every time the trio began discussing any news, Peter did his best to tune them out and observe the going-ons in the Great Hall.

There was a lot to observe in the Great Hall. For example, he started taking stock of the group of Slytherins that were always tormenting Sirius. They were led, of course, by Rodolphus Lestrange, in sixth year. There was a younger Lestrange named Rastaban, in fourth year. There was Lucius Malfoy, who appeared to be dating Narcissa Black, though Narcissa did not seem to engage in the gang-like activities of the boys. In fact the group was nearly all male - Evan Rosier, Steven Mulciber and Severus Snape seemed to make up the first-year ranks, then there was Nolan Avery in third year, Bernard Goyle and Dominic Crabbe in fourth, and Marius Macnair in seventh.

Watching the group at meals, Peter soon realized that Sirius was not the only target for their abuse. They seemed to target younger Muggleborn students, particularly girls. James and Sirius liked pranks, but the Slytherins stepped over the line from mischief-making into malicious harassment.

But Peter wasn't the only one watching - Dorcas Meadowes, the Ravenclaw prefect that had saved him the worst of Peeves, appeared to keep a close eye on the group, though Bryany Selwyn, the Slytherin prefect of the same year, seemed perfectly content to ignore their underhanded antics.

The group all had varied levels of skill. Severus Snape, though young, performed complicated magic while moving his wand covertly under the table. It seemed Lucius Malfoy had taken the child under his wing, for Snape never seemed to act without a consulting glance at Malfoy first. Peter recognized that kind of look - it was the one someone who was looking for approval gave to the person they were trying to impress. Indeed Peter was very familiar with that look - he often gave it.

The others seemed less desperate for acceptance, though it was clear they deferred to Lestrange. Awful things seemed to happen when Lestrange was in the Great Hall. Once, the elder Lestrange caused a teapot to explode, sending boiling liquid and shards of clay into a group of second-year Hufflepuffs. One girl suffered burns so bad she was in the hospital wing for days. Another time, a first-year Ravenclaw's hair fell out. Madam Pomfrey had it regrown in a matter of hours, but Peter couldn't shake the awful feeling he had when he saw her face from across the Great Hall the day it happened.

Peter often wondered if he should go to a teacher, or a prefect, or even one of his freinds with the information on which Slytherin waved the wand before each incident, but he was afraid to draw attention to himself. Finally, one night when James was in detention and Remus was in the library, Peter brought it up to Sirius.

"Sirius, you know how Henry Connors' quills all caught fire when he was trying to write a letter at supper today?"

"Mhm?" Sirius was lying on his stomach on his bed, reading one of his defense books, and did not look up at Peter, but the smaller boy knew this was the most attention he would get until he spoke his concerns.

"Well, I saw Mulciber point his wand toward our table right as it happened.

"WHAT?" Sirius rolled off the bed and landed on his feet in a graceful movement. He took the few steps over to Peter and looked him in the eyes. "Why didn't you say something to me or James? Or even Shacklebolt? I would normally hate a rat but I bet Shacklebolt would have intervened with divine punishment."

Peter had known this would be how Sirius would react. "I'm not sure you understand the meaning of divine punishment," he commented without thinking. Sirius scowled at him.

"That's not the point. Why didn't you say anything?"

"Well - because…" He might as well get it out with. "Lestrange is scary and I think he gave the order!" He held his breath and waited for the mockery to begin. But Sirius surprised him by sighing instead.

"Well, you're right about that," he admitted. He leaned against the post of Peter's bed and looked down at the smaller boy, biting his lip as though deep in thought.

"Sirius why do those boys hate Muggleborns so much?"

"Toujours pur," Sirius responded quietly.

"I'm sorry, I don't speak French."

"It means, 'Always pure,'" Sirius told him. "It's my family motto. Most of those families have similar outlooks. They don't like the children of Muggles coming to Hogwarts. They think their blood is tainted, or that they somehow stole magic. And they hate Muggles."

"I don't understand - what's wrong with Muggles?"

Sirius shrugged. "They're not like us. They're a lower form of life - they can't do magic, they can't see some magical creatures, they age faster, their bodies are more prone to disease."

"B-but you don't believe that, do you?" Peter sputtered. Sirius enjoyed a good jinx, but it was always a joke, and he never seemed to targeting a particular type of person. Why, just last week Sirius had turned Alice Fawley's hair neon green - and she was a pureblood - and quite good with a wand. She'd responded by cutting a chunk of Sirius' hair off - James had laughed for hours.

"Of course I don't believe that they're inferior. So their physiology is a little different, but at the core, they live and have souls just like ours. And they're always inventing the craziest things - have you ever watched the telly? I've seen them in shop windows!"

Peter muled this over for a moment. "It must have been hard, growing up hearing all those things you didn't believe."

Sirius just shrugged again. "You've got to think for yourself, Petey. Don't just believe what the adults tell you just because they're adults. Hell, don't believe what I tell you just because we're friends. Think for yourself and come to your own conclusions. Don't just blindly follow along with others if you disagree with what they're doing. But do take my advice - next time you see a Slytherin pointing a wand even remotely in our direction, tell someone!"

"I'm sorry! But the Lestranges - and Malfoy too -"

"Yeah, yeah, they're scary and you don't want the attention on you. I get it. You're not the one who's going to have to see them over the holidays." Sirius sounded bitter.

Peter realized that Sirius, for all his bravado, was also afraid, but unlike Peter, he was brave enough to speak his mind anyway. He was almost certainly putting himself in the line of fire when he returned home and back into the dark world of high-born pureblood society. Peter didn't know what to say to his friend. If their positions were reversed, Peter didn't think he had it in his character to stand up for what he believed in the way Sirius did.

That was the real reason Peter avoided listening to the stories in the paper. It didn't take a genius to figure out that there was war brewing outside the halls of Hogwarts – and war inevitably dragged young men into it. The kind of noble young men James and Sirius and Remus would likely become. But Peter didn't want to think about that – Peter just wanted to be an 11-year-old boy.


	12. The Wizards and the Werewolf

**A/N:** Hello all. I'm sorry for the delay in updating - I struggled with this chapter a great deal, and I'm still not sure it expresses everything I wanted to convey. But rather than spell it out in a note I'll let you read and tell me what you think. Please give me your thoughts.

* * *

Remus had been so caught up with classwork, his friends, and trying to unravel the mystery behind the appearance of Fabian Prewett and the murder of the Podmores, and Operation Prank the Prankster that he had entirely forgotten about the footprints James believed he saw at the trunk of the Whomping Willow.

He awoke the day of the full moon with a pounding headache. It was Sunday, and he'd already finished all his classwork ahead of time, so he closed his eyes and tried to will the throbbing to stop, reveling in the softness of his bed and the warmth under his blankets.

He spent a blissful hour floating between dreaming and the waking world before he heard James and Peter moving around in the dormitory.

"It looks like a glorious day out -" James was saying to Peter "-I was thinking we could explore the grounds a bit - get a good look at the Quidditch pitch." Remus knew for a fact James had already visited the Quidditch pitch at least three times, but apparently it did not get old.

"I do love Quidditch," Peter agreed.

"So does Sirius, though he roots for Puddlemere United - such an overrated team," James said. "I'm a Tornadoes man myself - not as many wins as United, but it's a decent thing to root for the underdog - don't you agree?"

"Of course, of course," Peter said. Remus knew Peter would have agreed with anything James said - and Remus also knew that Peter was also a Puddlemere United fan.

Remus tried to roll over and fall back asleep, but James went into the washroom to shower and the sound of the water moving through the pipes didn't help his headache. Remus knew if he went down to the hospital wing Madam Pomfrey would be able to give him a potion to ease the pain, but he wasn't ready to move.

"Remus?" Peter called softly through the curtains, in a voice that wouldn't have disturbed Remus were he not already awake. Remus was tempted to ignore it, but that seemed a bit cruel.

"Yes?" He said, struggling into a sitting position but still keeping his bottom half carefully hidden under the blanket. It wouldn't do to give Peter an accidental glimpse of one of the scars on his legs.

Peter pushed back the curtains and smiled at him. "Good morning," he greeted him in a more normal volume. "James was thinking we might explore the Quidditch pitch today, which I think sounds like great fun - say, are you feeling okay?"

Remus sighed - he'd closed his eyes when Peter was speaking and the other boy must have noticed him grimace. "I'm afraid I woke up with a rather nasty headache."

"Oh…" Peter lowered his voice once again. "Would you like me to run down to the hospital wing and pick you up a potion?"

"What? No, I don't want to trouble you…"

"It's no trouble at all," Peter said, already pulling on his house robe over his pajamas. "James just hopped in the shower anyway, and we know he takes at least 20 minutes in there. I'll be back before it's even my turn in the washroom."

Remus hesitated. He didn't want to give the other boys any inkling of his weakness before the full moon, but there was nothing all that suspicious about a headache, and Peter's offer was too tempting to refuse.

"If you really don't mind…"

"Not at all!" Peter squeaked. "I imagine the walk to the hospital wing is a bit tough when your head hurts. Mom gets migraines from time to time and she can barely move until she takes something for it."

"Thank you Peter," Remus said, smiling and feeling a rush of gratitude for the other boy.

"Nothing to it!" Peter said, scuttling out the door.

Remus closed his eyes and leaned back against his headboard. The pounding in his head was more bearable now that he knew relief was on the way. Sirius was still snoring softly, and as Peter had said, James would be at least 15 more minutes in the bathroom.

Remus dozed for the next few minutes until Peter returned with a little vial.

"The matron said take about half and hold on to the other half for the next headache," Peter said, handing the bottle over to Remus. "It should only take a moment or two to kick in."

Remus did as directed and closed his eyes, waiting for the potion to take effect. It did so within 60 seconds.

"Thank you Peter," he said again. "I feel much better."

"We can't have you missing out," Peter said. Remus wished Peter could understand just how much he missed out, but of course he would not tell him that.

"What's this about missing out?" James asked, stepping out of the washroom in nothing but a towel draped lazily around his shoulders and a pair of briefs. Remus had learned not to be shocked by the lack of modesty James and Sirius displayed - he supposed normal boys with no scars had no reason to fear being undressed in front of the group, though even if he wasn't hiding a secret Remus could scarcely imagine parading around in his underthings the way Sirius often did at night. The boy didn't even sleep in pajamas - just boxers. Remus wondered what it was like to have that kind of self-assurance.

"Remus woke up with a bit of a headache, but we've straightened it out," Peter said brightly.

"Well good, we have adventuring to do. No time for silly inconveniences like headaches," James said.

It did seem silly, except that Remus knew it was the first sign of a much larger problem that certainly couldn't be categorized as an "inconvenience." He did his best to brush the depressing line of thought aside and stay present in the conversation.

"Yo, Black, wake up!" James yelled, pulling the other boy's bed hangings aside.

"You're so loud…" Sirius mumbled, throwing a pillow at James and rolling over.

"Oh, get up you big lug," James said, yanking at Sirius' foot. "We've plans to explore the Quidditch pitch."

"It's a Quidditch pitch, what's there to explore? We'll see it at the first game in a few weeks anyway." Sirius grumbled, but he did get out of bed. He made a move toward the bathroom door, but to Remus' shock and great amusement, Peter scuttled in front of him and snuck through first.

"I was awake first!" He squeaked through the door. "You can wait your turn!"

"Why you little - tough words through a locked door!" Sirius said, banging on it.

"Early bird gets the worm," James said with a shrug.

Remus just chuckled. It was so nice to feel like a normal boy.

The struggle, of course, was that he was not actually a normal boy, and he was reminded as he walked into the Great Hall and found his nose assaulted by all manner of breakfast smells. On a normal day, or for a normal person, the smells of bacon, sausage, and fresh cinnamon buns would be a delicious treat. But for the young werewolf, who was already beginning to feel the grips of the canid beast within, it was a painful reminder that he had no appetite for anything but raw meat, and crisp bacon and boiled sausages would not satisfy. He watched almost mournfully as his friends began piling their plates high.

"Hello Remus!" A feminine voice to his right said. "How's your weekend going?"

Remus turned to see Lily Evans sitting next to him. Her smile was warm.

"It's been very nice so far, thank you," he said. It wasn't a lie - even feeling poorly due to the impending moon he'd managed to enjoy himself once again with James, Sirius and Peter. James and Sirius never seemed to run short on things to talk about, and just when Remus felt he'd exhausted all possible topics of conversation, one of them would pick it up again. Currently the boys were immersed in "Operation Prank the Prankster" and were researching ways to make Gideon Prewett's magical fireworks display spell out the teen's name at the end of the performance. That meant that although Remus couldn't run and jump and rough-house the way James and Sirius did, and the way Peter tried to keep up, he could still engage with his friends. He found the stimulation of conversation and strategy meetings electrifying, even after over a month at school.

"I suppose you've been exploring the castle and the grounds with your friends like the rest of the first years." She said. "My favorite spot is in the library - it's brilliant, isn't it?"

"It is," he said, nodding emphatically. The library was a mystical place for Remus. There he found all manner of information about the world he thought he'd been ostracized from before he was old enough to speak in proper sentences. The smell of books provided a sense of familiarity - his parents were always bringing him used books. As a child who spent more than his fair share of time bed-ridden, reading had always been a happy escape. He couldn't express the particulars of that to anyone at Hogwarts, but it did not matter - he was far from the only bookworm, even among the Gryffindors. As it happened, Lily had a novel on the table next to her breakfast. "What are you reading?" He asked.

"Oh, it's a Muggle story. You wouldn't be interested," she said, hastily picking it up and starting to put it away in her bag.

"No, my mother's a Muggle - I have plenty of Muggle books," he assured her quickly. "What is it called?"

"I didn't know your mother was a Muggle." The information seemed to please her, and Remus vaguely remembered James Sirius mentioning that Lily Evans was Muggleborn. "It's called T _he Hobbit_."

"Remus," James interrupted. "Aren't you going to eat anything?"

"There are chocolate croissants today," Sirius said. "I know how much you love chocolate."

"I'm not very hungry," he told them before turning back to Lily. "That's the prequel to the _Lord of the Rings_ series, right? I haven't read it yet, but my mother has a lovely set of the books."

"What do you mean you're not hungry?" James asked. "You love breakfast. You usually eat two plates." This was true. Remus was plagued with a scrawny build, even though he was always well-fed at home. He suspected the lycanthropy may have to do with it. He'd been trying to put on some weight at Hogwarts, knowing his second helping wouldn't force anyone else to go without, but so far he was still skinny and short, though a bit taller than Peter.

"You must eat something to keep up your strength," Peter said. "Have a few bites of porridge at least."

Sirius deftly grabbed a bowl and served Remus a generous portion. The porridge at Hogwarts was usually quite good, and every mixing one could imagine was laid out on the table, but today to Remus it looked like sludge.

"I really don't want it, I'm sorry." He hung his head.

"Do you always pester him so?" Lily asked James, who was across the table. "If he doesn't feel like eating there's no reason to force him."

James looked surprised she had spoken. "I'm not forcing him to do anything - I was just looking out and making sure you weren't distracting him from a proper meal." He turned to Remus, who was feeling terribly ashamed at the waste of food and embarrassed at the attention. "You don't have to eat it, Remus."

"But it's a waste of food…" Remus whispered, staring at the porridge and thinking of his mother, who never let anything go to waste.

Sirius, who was sitting next to James, immediately stood up and pulled the bowl away. "I'll eat it then. Don't fret about it." He ruffled Remus' hair with his free hand.

"You've already gobbled down two plates!" Lily exclaimed. "Won't you be too full?" Remus wondered the same thing - Sirius had all but inhaled a breakfast of scrambled eggs, potatoes and sausage.

Sirius shrugged. "It's just a little porridge."

Remus watched gratefully as Sirius tucked a napkin into his collar and downed the porridge.

"You are incredible, Sirius Black" Lily said, shaking her head. Remus could tell it wasn't a compliment, but he thought Sirius was pretty incredible for reading the mood and stepping in like that. Pretty incredible indeed.

Sirius' copy of The Daily Prophet came down and Remus quickly scanned it for more dark news. The lead story was concerning the Ministry of Magic's Auror training budget - Remus figured if that was the front page nothing grisly would have happened - though it was a bit foreboding that the department was asking for a 40 percent increase from last year's numbers.

Remus flipped through the rest of the paper rather quickly. A man named Edgar Bones had been promoted to Auror - the Chudley Cannons were considering changing their signature orange uniforms - there was a renewed push to streamline the werewolf registry…

The young werewolf flipped the page to that story. It seemed appropriate - if depressing - reading material in the hours before the full moon.

/

"I think I'm going to die," Sirius said as he tried to take the stairs back to Gryffindor Tower with James, Remus and Peter. He'd eaten way too much at breakfast and he swore he could feel the food sloshing around in his stomach and threatening to come back up into his throat. "I'll never make it up the next four staircases. Just leave me." He stopped and laid down dramatically with a hand on his brow, blocking the path of an irritated looking sixth-year.

"Don't be so dramatic, Black," James said, grabbing the other hand and giving it a powerful yank.

"I can't do it. My stomach is going to explode."

"Come on Black, or I'll leave you here to get trampled," James grumbled, tugging at the arm. Peter jumped in and tried to help.

"Yeeouch! Don't yank my arm out." He sat up but remained in the center of the staircase, forcing other students to go around on one side or the other. "I'm not kidding though. I need a minute here."

Remus knelt down beside him. "You shouldn't have made yourself ill on my account," he said, looking genuinely concerned.

Sirius waved him off. "It's no different than that feeling you get when you eat too much at Christmas dinner," he told him. "Except usually after Christmas dinner mum lets Reg and me relax by the fireplace in the drawing room for a few hours and there isn't any climb up six staircases to get there."

"But you didn't even want the porridge." Remus looked remarkably unhappy.

"Oh Lupin, lighten up. You didn't want it either and I had to prove to Evans we weren't trying to bully you into eating it. That girl is so pushy." In truth, Sirius suspected that Remus might have been ill had he eaten the porridge - the boy had wrinkled his nose when it had been placed before him as if it smelled unpleasant, but at the same time looked so terribly guilty about the thought of wasted food. Wasted food wasn't something that was ever considered in the Black House - there was always food to spare and his mother or father would just vanish it away with a tap of their wands after each course. Sirius had never stopped to wonder what happened to it.

"I think she's rather nice," Remus said.

Sirius snorted. "She's friends with Snivellus, remember?" Sirius would never forgive Snape for jinxing his leg. But he did pause to remember how shocked Evans had been when she'd learned of it. "But I guess she was sorted into Gryffindor so she can't be all bad."

"She's easy on the eyes," James supplied, causing the three other boys to turn and look at him incredulously. "What? It's true."

"Are you firsties going to sit here blocking the staircase all day?" Gideon Prewett was coming up the stairs and ribbed them good-naturedly. Sirius liked the redhead – he was a pureblood, like Sirius, but the Prewetts didn't concern themselves with blood purity the way the Blacks did. His mother turned her nose up at them for their attitude and often made jibes about the family's dwindling fortune – apparently a series of poor investments had cost the Prewetts much of their ancient house's money.

"Sirius ate too much at breakfast. He needed a minute," Peter said quickly, in the usual deferential way he spoke to older students.

Prewett chuckled. "The stairs catch up to you pretty quick when you're stuffed full of cinnamon buns, huh?"

"Say Prewett," Sirius said, feeling rebellious and nosy. "How're your siblings?"

His mother never spoke of the Prewetts anymore, but Sirius vaguely remembered a few holiday parties hosted by Aunt Lucretia. Molly Prewett was about ten years his senior, and he remembered her red hair and kind face. He only ever interacted with her once - she'd overheard him complaining to Regulus that everyone had fancy hats and they were without, having been too young to be considered. She'd grinned and pulled out her wand, conjuring sparkling silver and black wizard hats, then swore them to secrecy as she was only 16 and not supposed to be doing magic outside of school. The hat had disappeared after a few hours but it had delighted him nonetheless.

He'd only seen Fabian Prewett from afar, but he remembered the redheaded brothers setting off magical firecrackers in the kitchen and scaring the house elves so badly dinner was served an hour late.

He grinned. "Molly's got a nipper!"

"A baby? Really? Already?"

Gideon nodded and sat himself next to Sirius, further blocking the stairway. "Check him out." He pulled a picture from his money pouch and handed it to Sirius. "His name is William, but of course we call him Billy. He'll be a year old in November."

Sirius took the photo and James, Remus and Peter crowded around for a good look. Billy Weasley was a robust child with his mother's bright red hair and freckles that must have come from his father's side of the family. He was giggling and waving a fat fist at the camera.

"Aww, cute," Peter said.

"Looks like a happy little fella!" James nodded in approval.

"So they're happy then?" Sirius asked. "I mean if they have a kid and all…" He couldn't quite put into words what he was trying to ask. They were happy, even though the marriage had been the choice of two young people and not arranged by or explicitly signed off on by their parents? He was still having a hard time imagining simply bringing his betrothed home to his mother after having made the decision independently.

"Happy as can be," Gideon told him. "Arthur is a swell bloke. And Molly has really taken to motherhood - she's a natural!" He chuckled. Sirius thought again of the hats.

"I can see that," he said, handing the photo back. "Though personally I'm not sure I would want that kind of responsibility at 20."

Gideon laughed and clasped a hand on Sirius' shoulder as he stood up. "Well you've got a few years before you need to worry about that."

"Seems awfully rushed though - they must have been barely out of school," Sirius said.

"That's a rude comment, Black," James told him frowning."

Gideon shrugged it off. "With everything going on with the fanatics down south I think they wanted to make sure there was a little good in the world."

"Fanatics down south?" Peter asked.

"The pureblood fanatics, Petey," James said sharply. "All those stories in the paper. But has that really been going on for long?" He asked Gideon.

The older boy, really already a man by wizarding standards, didn't answer right away. "That's probably something you should discuss with your parents," he finally said, looking uncomfortable.

Sirius was also feeling uncomfortable and it had nothing to do with his stuffed stomach. Bellatrix had been spending a lot of time in the south. And ever since a curious trip to Albania, she had been running with a strange crowd - people Aunt Druella would never have over for dinner. Bella was about the same age as Molly Prewett - Molly Weasley now - but she certainly wasn't in any rush to be pushing out babies. Indeed, that was probably for the best. Bellatrix never really exhibited any maternal instincts.

"You know, I would but they just keep sending me vague letters back!" James said loudly. "It's right frustrating."

"I'm sure they just don't want to burden you with unneeded information," Prewett said.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "We're not babies who are going to wet their pants over some scary bit of news," he said. "I wish the adults would take us more seriously."

"Hear hear!" James said.

"I think you should be grateful you have parents that try to protect you from the evil in the world," Remus said. Sirius turned to look at him. His curious amber colored eyes looked very sad.

"Lupin's right - give it a few years and you'll be wishing you were still 11 without a care in the world," Prewett said, standing up. "And without a nipper to look after," he added as an afterthought.

Sirius laughed. He couldn't deny that. He liked babies, but he couldn't picture himself as anything but an irresponsible parent.

It wasn't until later than Sirius realized Gideon had completely avoided mention of his brother's current activities.

/

"Remus is gone again," Peter told James and Sirius as soon as the other boys returned from whatever exploit they'd ditched him for after lunch.

James dropped his bag on his bed and frowned. "His mum must be doing poorly again."

"We should do something to cheer him up when he returns," Sirius said. On the surface the words were kind, but Sirius had a bit of a sinister look in his eyes.

"What did you have in mind?" James asked.

"Let's hide his mattress!" Sirius burst out. "The windows open - I think we can heave it onto the roof of the little turret - he'll never be able to find it."

"How will that cheer him up?" Peter asked. But James loved the idea.

"Brilliant Black! Shall we try now?"

"I'm not sure-"

"Hush Petey, geniuses are at work here," Sirius cut the other boy off. "Make yourself useful and open the window.

Resigned to his fate, Peter went over to stand on James' bed and force the window open.

"How are we going to fit it through the window?" James asked, examining the space critically.

"Let's try shrinking it!" Sirius said, pulling out his wand.

"What's the spell for that?" James asked.

"No idea," Sirius responded. "I was just going to point my wand at it and hope for the best."

James shrugged. "Seems reasonable."

"Um...no...it really doesn't…" Peter chimed in.

"Hush Petey," Sirius said again. The boy had rolled up the sleeve of his robes on his wand arm.

"But -"

"Ooops...!" Sirius had prodded the mattress with his wand, but without an incantation, the wand spat out sparks and set the bedding ablaze.

"Water!" James cried, rushing into the washroom before realizing he had nothing to hold the water in but a small cup that Remus used when he brushed his teeth at night. "Bugger…"

"James!" Sirius called urgently from the other room. "He has books near his bed…"

"I'm getting help!" Peter squealed, running for the common room.

James, with no idea what spell might save them, filled the cup, ran out of the washroom and dumped it on the bed, then ran back to repeat the motion. He desperately didn't want to burn Remus' books - he knew how much the boy valued them.

The dormitory door burst open and Frank Longbottom entered, his wand raised. He glanced around to take stock of the situation, then pointed his wand at the bed. "Aguamenti!"

A jet of clear water burst forth from the tip of his wand, dousing the growing flames.

Sirius sighed in relief and pushed his hair out of his eyes. "Well then that solves that," he said, grinning tremendously.

"What in the world were you firsties doing?" Longbottom asked, waving leftover smoke and steam away from his face. "Your little friend just came tearing into the common room screaming 'FIRE!' Which, by the way, you shouldn't do in a crowded room - it induces panic."

"Frank?" Kingsley Shacklebolt was coming up the stairs now. "All right then?"

"I've handled it," Frank called back. "I put out the fire."

"Well the next logical question is why there was a fire in the first place," Shacklebolt said, coming into view and looking at James and Sirius expectantly. "I have an idea - these two are developing a bit of a reputation."

"Aww, come on Shacklebolt, it was an honest mistake," Sirius said lightly. "I was just trying to shrink the mattress when we had a little mishap."

James shook his head. Sirius had said too much. Sirius was always egging him on and trying to take credit for their exploits. James often wondered if his friend enjoyed mischief more as a way of acting out to irritate his mother. James enjoyed troublemaking, but a little discretion went a long way.

"Why were you trying to shrink the mattress?" the prefect asked, sounding as though torn between amusement and exasperation.

"Well," James said, trying to come up with a good excuse but finding nothing in his stores. "It's a funny story actually - you see our friend Remus…"

"Remus is always saying how the bed feels too big," Peter chirped from behind the older students. "He has a twin bed at home. So we thought it would be nice to shrink the mattress down to size for him. Obviously, it backfired…"

"I'll say," Longbottom said, but he looked amused.

"That's what I get for trying a spell without an incantation," Sirius muttered.

Shacklebolt was shaking his head. "Lines, both of you," he said. "Make them read 'I am a wizard with a wand, not a baboon with a banana."

"Yes sir!" James saluted the prefect cheerfully, then turned to the other teen in the room. "Er - you don't suppose you could help us out by drying off the books, could you? Remus will be livid…"

The boy laughed heartily and waved his wand, drying the books off. "You're on your own with the bedding - I can't mend that large a burn hole."

"We'll figure something out," James said confidently. "Thanks mate!"

Shacklebolt shot them a look, then walked out of the room.

"You know, if I were trying to shrink a mattress to sneak it out the window, I might use the spell reducio." Longbottom chuckled then walked out the door after the prefect.

"Well, that was a dismal failure," Sirius said when they were out of earshot. "What are we going to do about the bedding?"

"I'll write mum," James said. "I'm sure she'll send something straightaway." He was confident his mother could procure the same red and gold bedding that adorned the other beds in the tower.

"Couldn't we just ask the house elves for something new?" Peter said.

James looked at his friend thoughtfully. "I suppose it can't hurt to try. They're awfully friendly in the kitchens."

"But guys," Sirius said. "Aren't you forgetting - we still need to get the mattress out onto the roof!"

James and Peter sighed. "Not today Black," James said. "We'll just buy Remus some chocolates or something." He felt unspeakably bad for his friend, forced away from his sick mother for his schooling. When Remus first told them about it, James had nightmares about his own mother fighting for her life over a bought of dragon pox. If she were to ever fall ill, he would rush home and refuse to leave her side. He didn't know how Remus found the strength to leave her.

"He won't get much of a laugh out of that," Sirius grumbled, but he stood down.

"We could go exploring - maybe try our hand at touching the Whomping Willow?" James had purposely avoided bringing up the subject for a while so he did not seem too eager, but he thought it would be fairly epic to take on the beastly tree.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "I thought you'd realized what a barmy idea that was."

"You're just afraid I'll be able to pull it off and you won't," James taunted.

"Those are fighting words, Potter," Sirius said, and James knew he had won. "Last one down to the willow owes the others three chocolate frogs!"

James laughed merrily as he, Sirius and Peter took off for the tree. But while they were running he felt a small pang of guilt - Remus loved chocolate frogs, but he wasn't there to go in on the competition.

/

Peter wasn't too keen on the idea of rushing at a violent tree, but he also didn't want to be left out from any fun. Luck was on Peter's side - as James reached the tree an irate looking Madam Pomfrey also approached.

"Just what the world are you boys doing so close to the Whomping Willow?" she asked, glaring down at James as if she already knew the answer.

"We were just going to test our reflexes, Madam," James said, grinning at her despite the frown on her face.

The matron, who was a small but forceful woman, took a step toward James and waved a finger at him. "Do you realize how fast this tree moves? Those branches are capable of swinging down at 80 miles per hour. Do you know what a large branch traveling at 80 miles per hour can do to a little boy's bones?"

"Hey now, we're not little," Sirius grumbled.

The witch ignored him and continued on her tirade. "I have enough bones to heal without you foolish boys tempting fate to break some more. Now shoo - away from the willow or I'll report this to your Head of House."

"All right, all right, we get it," James said, putting his hands up and backing away in defeat.

So instead of charging the willow, the boys wound up laying in the grass watching the sunset.

It was a beautiful October evening, the air slightly crisp with the autumn chill. Peter had goosebumps under his cotton robes and decided it was probably time to start wearing the heavier wool ones. But despite the cold, he was content. James and Sirius were quiet, for once, entertained by the natural spectacle of the orange, red and purple sky.

"Petey," Sirius said suddenly. Peter was surprised the boy broke the silence to speak to him and not James, and rolled on his side to get a better look. "What happened to your dad?"

"Sirius!" James hissed, sitting up and whacking the other boy on the head. "He said he didn't want to discuss it. Why must you always push sensitive buttons?"

"Oww, Potter – I was just asking! Can you blame a guy for wanting to know more about his mates?"

"You never ask after my family."

"I don't have to ask – all you do is talk about yourself and your perfect Potter family!"

Peter chuckled at the bickering. "It's okay, James."

"So what's the deal, Petey?" Sirius asked eagerly, rolling over onto his stomach and resting his chin on his hands.

"I told you, he died before I was born," Peter said evasively. "I don't know much about him." Peter was not willing to share further details.

"If you don't like to talk about it you don't have to, Petey," James said seriously. "Don't let Black bully you."

"You know, here I am trying to take a healthy interest in Peter's home life and you just keep shooting me down – oh – look!"

Peter groaned. For some reason, Sirius and James had become quite fixated on torturing Severus Snape, who had just appeared at the castle doors. At first, Peter reasoned it was revenge for the ugly jinxing of Sirius' leg, but it had been weeks since that incident and James and Sirius hadn't let their dislike of Snape go. Peter didn't particularly like the Slytherin boy - he was part of the group that routinely bullied the Muggleborns after all - but he did not understand the fascination the other boys had with him.

By now James has sat up and was resting on his elbows observing Snape. "Tickling jinx? Or should I give him tentacles on his face?"

"Let's turn his skin green," Sirius suggested. "Make the slimey git look even more snake-like."

"Snakes aren't actually slimey, you know," Peter said, but as usual, he was ignored. Sirius and James grinned at each other and moved their wands in perfect unison. Their poor target, who hadn't noticed the other lying in the grass boys in the shadowy fading light, let out a gasp of surprise when he felt the magic hit him.

In the fading light it was hard to tell whether the spell was successful, but in characteristic James and Sirius fashion, the boys simply assumed all was well and began laughing.

Peter sighed, unhappy that they were calling attention to themselves. Snape scared him, on some level, and while here with his two brilliant friends Peter knew he was safe, he wondered what might happen if Snape ever caught him alone. Danger was an occupational hazard of befriending the two boys, and Peter found it exhausting.

Remus always seemed to handle the pressure with a graceful attitude that Peter could not muster. Peter was sure, had Remus been there, the boy would have shown his distaste with quiet dignity. As likely as not, James and Sirius would have ignored the subtle hints from Remus and continued with their antics anyway, but at least Peter would have had an ally.

Instead he felt the odd man out as James and Sirius whooped and hooted at the Slytherin, who shot them a frosty glare but stalked back inside without raising his wand. Snape understood he was outnumbered.

"Where do you suppose Snivellus was going all by his lonesome?" James asked when he finally calmed himself enough to speak like a regular human being.

Peter just shrugged. He wished he was inside playing chess – with the sun gone it was growing rapidly colder and he was not wearing his cloak.

"Look, full moon tonight," Sirius said, pointing. "And so many stars. You don't get a night sky like this in London.

James made a humming noise that sounded like agreement. Peter laid back into the soft grass to relax and enjoy the night sky. There was something about the sight of the full moon that left him completely relaxed. He only wished Remus was there to share it with the rest of them.


	13. In Defense of You

A/N: We have a bit of a format change with this chapter. Worry not - we'll get back to James' and Sirius' perspectives in the next chapter.

* * *

Remus rolled onto his back and groaned. He was pretty sure his left wrist was broken, and while he knew Madam Pomfrey could fix it right up, it hurt.

He could also feel a fresh bite wound on his hip. He was always amazed at the way the wolf was able to contort itself and inflict injury. The bite was bleeding freely, but Remus was fairly sure it wasn't that deep. It would leave another ugly scar after days of itching as it healed. But at least it was somewhere no one would see it.

The month before he'd managed to struggle back into some clothing before the healer made it down to the little shack, but this time he lacked the energy. So he didn't try to move until he heard the creak of the trapdoor.

"Remus, dear?" She said, kneeling down beside him. "How'd we do this month?"

"Worse than last, better than others," he rasped.

"Well I'll take that," she said. She conjured a blanket and draped it over his bottom half, but not before examining the wound on his hip. "I can close that up here dear, but it will need a few more treatments to keep the scarring down." She moved on to his wrist. "Clean fracture - an easy fix." She tapped it and Remus heard it snap back into place. "Let's get you back to the castle, then."

An hour later Remus was resting relatively comfortably in his little isolation room and the healer presented him with a letter from his mother.

"I thought you'd want to take a look at this before you fall asleep," she said. "Just ring the bell if you need anything."

Weak and tired though he was, Remus had no trouble ripping open the envelope to read his mother's words.

 _My dear sweet boy,_

 _As I stare at the moon tonight I can't help but worry for you, though I know you are in good hands after your letter from September. I want you to know how much I love you, and how proud I am of you._

 _These past two months have been quiet around the house - your father has suggested I may enjoy joining a ladies book club to fill some of my time. There is one advertised at the local Muggle library in the center of town, and I'm giving it some thought._

 _I hope you're still as enthusiastic about your studies as you were when you first arrived at school - your father keeps talking about taking you to the wizarding library at Cambridge over the holidays, if you feel up to it. I know it's a ways away still, but he's rather stuck on the idea._

 _Stay well and study hard._

 _All my heart,_

 _Mother_

Remus read the letter twice and held it to his chest. His mother was considering a book club - he couldn't remember his mother ever going out to enjoy some time for herself, and it made him unspeakably happy. And father was considering a trip to the wizarding library at Cambridge - what a treat! Before Hogwarts, his father never wanted to discuss any aspect of the magical world with his son.

Feeling happier than he could ever remember feeling after a transformation, Remus dozed off, the letter still clutched in his hand.

But sleep was difficult to come by in his little isolation room, and he kept waking up from strange but unmemorable dreams. And when he did awake, he was lonely, despite by the cheerful checkups from Madam Pomfrey.

It was strange, he realized. For years he'd come through transformations and spend hours in his bed alone but for his father, who healed him up best he could before rushing to work, and his mother, who was always there to comfort him but also left him in his bedroom for spans of time so she could cook meals he was too weak to eat, and clean the blood off the floor before he was strong enough to go down and see it.

He hated to admit it, but he was in much better hands with Madam Pomfrey than his father. He'd never felt physically better after the transformations than he did with her treatment. She made him stay the whole next day but permitted him to go to classes Tuesday. He was still a bit achy and tired, but he wanted to miss as little class as possible.

He arrived in Charms a bit early, having taken his breakfast in the hospital wing, and sat down in his regular seat.

"Remus! How's your mum?" James asked when he walked into the room and spotted him. "That's where you went, right?"

"Doing well for now, thank you," Remus said, hating the need to lie. Sirius and Peter were right behind James and offered sympathetic looks as they sat down.

"Did I miss anything important while I was gone?" Remus asked, eager to catch up. James rolled his eyes and handed over a pile of parchment.

"We worked on the unlocking charm last class - Alohomora. I'm sure you'll be able to pull it off, it's hardly difficult," James said. Peter made an indignant face behind him - Remus suspected the pudgy boy had struggled more than James or Sirius in the last class.

Sirius clicked his tongue. "Forget about classes - we've collected intel on Prewett - "

Sirius was cut off as Professor Flitwick entered the room and asked for quiet. Remus shrugged apologetically at Sirius and turned to start taking notes.

/

Peter bounced in his seat with nervous energy. Sirius' mattress prank a few days before had failed terribly, so now he was determined to throw fireworks into the fire under Steven Mulciber's cauldron in Potions. Sirius had been experimenting with fireworks for operation Prank the Prankster and there was no guarantee the pyrotechnic wouldn't destroy the whole dungeon, but Sirius seemed unconcerned. Peter had no specific role in this - James would play decoy by engaging Slughorn in conversation - but Peter still felt like an accomplice.

Sirius was downright reckless, and James absolutely fearless, making them a dangerous and uncontrollable pair. Remus was either a very good actor or entirely unaware of what Sirius intended to do, because he continued to work on his first level antidote without any visible signs of anxiety or foreboding.

Peter jumped when he heard the telltale hiss of the firework fuse lighting seconds before a loud "BOOM!" echoed throughout the dungeon. The boiling hot antidote Mulciber had been working on flew in all directions as elaborate rainbow shapes fired off under his cauldron. Mulciber and Evan Rosier both yelped and ducked for cover while the rest of the class turned to observe the show.

When the smoke cleared Professor Slughorn ambled over to the cauldron and touched the now-spent firework with the tip of his shoe.

"While I do enjoy youthful exuberance," he said in a serious voice, "I will not tolerate stunts that put students in this type of danger. So tell me, who threw it?"

"It was Black!" Mulciber snapped, glaring at Sirius, who was standing with his hands in his pockets trying to look innocent.

"Come off it," James snapped right back. "He was nowhere near your cauldron."

This was in fact true - but it was also true that Sirius had planned to simply use his wand to guide the firework into the fire after tossing it in Mulciber's general direction.

"Sirius?" Slughorn turned to the boy. "How do you respond to this accusation?"

Sirius shrugged. "It's a serious allegation, Professor," he said. "And quite frankly I've no idea why he chose me as his target. I'd like to see some proof."

"Steven?" The professor turned back to the Slytherin, who was glowering.

"I know it was him," He said. "Filthy little blood traitor-"

"That's enough of that," Slughorn said, cutting him off. "If no one will come forward I'll simply have to take five points from both Gryffindor and Slytherin."

A groan rose from the entire class, save for Sirius and James, who hastily smothered their smiles when Slughorn turned back to give them a stern look. Obviously he suspected, but he had no proof, and Slughorn was often hesitant to punish children from prominent families even when he did have it. Peter knew Slughorn's stern face had nothing on Professor McGonagall, and even she couldn't curtail James and Sirius. The pair would walk away unscathed.

But Potions class was not kind to Peter that day. Despite James whispering instructions in his ear after the firework excitement, he'd somehow scorched the potion and was now scrubbing the bottom of his cauldron. James had stayed to keep him company for a bit but had to duck out for yet another detention, so Peter was left alone in the dungeon.

And the dungeons creeped Peter out. It wasn't that he thought anything was going to happen now - but they'd been used as prisons once- that hardly seemed an appropriate place to teach students a new skill. Peter's mind kept drifting to what they'd been studying in History of Magic of medieval torture in the castles, and while Hogwarts hadn't been mentioned by name, Peter imagined those things must have happened here. Then it occurred to him that some of the ghosts probably witnessed it first-hand. He started scrubbing faster.

Finally his cauldron gleamed clean, but Peter's hands were sore. He knew some of the older students could simply vanish the mess - he wondered if Sirius could teach himself how to do that and help him out, or perhaps James. Sirius had already managed to teach himself all manner of hexes and jinxes far beyond first-year level, and James picked them up almost as quickly. Remus has refused to engage in the behavior, but he had taken to reading up on defensive and healing spells and while Peter hadn't seen him use any yet, he suspected Remus had mastered a few of them.

As usual, Peter felt totally inadequate when compared to his friends. Now, he wasn't terrible in classes - he was perfectly average, even slightly above average in Herbology. But his friends seemed to be mad geniuses - convinced they were capable of anything and so far proving it to be true. It wasn't the worst position to be in - his friends were always quick to help him along whenever he asked, but it was frustrating to always be the average one.

Peter was brooding over this when he realized he could hear footsteps behind him, and remembered this was Slytherin territory.

"Well, well, well, look what we have here." Peter turned around unhappily.

"I was just leaving Potions," Peter said. It was just his luck. Steven Mulciber was prowling the halls.

"So late? And where are your friends?" The boy had a nasty smile on his face and Peter became uneasy. His wand was in his pocket, but he didn't know any hexes. Still, he gripped it tightly, trying to think of an escape plan.

As the bigger boy took a step toward him and raised his wand, Peter had a moment of inspiration. It was very dark in the halls near the dungeons. He would use that to his advantage.

He waited for Mulciber to get within reach, then struck. "LUMOS!" he shouted, shoving the bright tip of his wand in the boy's face, blinding him.

"What the-" The other boy threw his hand up in front of his eyes, and Peter snatched his wand out of it, feeling rather smug. James and Sirius would have been impressed.

"You little brat," Mulciber snarled. "How dare you take my wand?"

"What are you going to do about it?" Peter asked, feeling braver than he felt. The other boy was blocking the exit from the corridor - the only thing behind Peter was the Potions classroom he'd just left.

"I don't need my wand to kick your scrawny ass," the other boy said.

Peter swallowed. He was right - Peter was an awful physical fighter. He looked around for any sign of rescue, but James was in detention and Sirius and Remus were surely at dinner by now. Steeling himself and hoping for the best, Peter stood his ground. If he was going down, he was going down swinging. Mulciber came at him, and Peter held up his wand. He had no spell to cast, but at least he would go out fighting.

/

"Peter's been down in the dungeon for a while, don't you think?" Sirius asked Remus.

"It has been a while." He glanced up at the clock. "Do you suppose something happened?"

At that moment Kingsley Shacklebolt sat down next to Sirius. "Are you two aware that your friend Peter is in the hospital wing looking like he took a bludger to the face?" He asked.

"What?!" Sirius jumped up, very much like James had when Sirius had been injured in September. "No! What happened?"

"He told Dorcas Meadowes - that's who found him - he fell down the stairs, but I have to tell you, I saw him and that excuse isn't going to convince anyone."

Sirius tugged at Remus' arm. "Let's go check on him!" He said urgently. "If someone hurt Peter I'm going to return the favor ten-fold."

"Black, as a prefect it's my duty to remind you that dueling is prohibited," Shacklebolt said.

"Oh come off it," Sirius said.

The prefect examined his nails. "So don't let me catch you doing it," he said.

"Let's go, Remus," Sirius said, dragging him along by his robes.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Remus said, pulling the cloth back. "But don't do anything rash."

Remus knew that was out the window as soon as they walked through the entrance to the hospital wing and saw Peter. Even with Madam Pomfrey's expert hand, Peter looked terrible. He had a blackened eye, a nasty lump over one eyebrow, and blood on his face.

"Who did it," Sirius growled, grabbing the bed railing and leaning forward.

"I'm okay, really," Peter said. "Madam Pomfrey fixed my broken nose straightaway."

"Broken nose?!" Sirius roared. "Tell me who it was Peter. I'll bring you his skin to wear as a suit."

"That's a positively gruesome image," Remus cut in. "Peter, how are you feeling?"

"Sore," the other boy admitted. But then he grinned. "Remus - I did manage to snag Mulciber's wand though -"

"MULCIBER!"

"Sirius, no!" Remus shouted as the other boy shot up and rushed out of the hospital wing doors. He turned back to Peter, unsure of what to do. Thankfully the other boy made the decision easy.

"Bugger - I shouldn't have said the name. Go after him before he gets himself expelled!" Peter squeaked. "I'll be fine!"

Remus didn't need to be told twice - he tore after the other boy, running faster than he thought he was capable of. There was no telling what Sirius might do in a rage like this - and with James in detention and Peter incapacitated, it was his job to talk his friend down.

It was still suppertime in the Great Hall, and Remus had to push his way through the crowd as he searched frantically for his furious friend. He forced his way over to the Slytherin table, hoping he wasn't too late. He saw the top of his friend's head among the crowd.

"MULCIBER!" Even over the clatter of hundreds of students at the meal, Remus could hear Sirius' roar. Somehow, Remus had caught up. He was still five feet away, but that was close enough to see Sirius dig into his pocket for his wand. Mulciber was turning, his face stuffed with food. Sirius' wand was pointed at the other boy's face. There was no way he could miss, and in a room full of witnesses, there would be no question of who had done it - whatever it was that Sirius had planned.

Remus raised his own wand and did the only thing he could think to do, grateful for the books he'd been reading on defensive magic and healing spells. "EXPELLIARMUS!"

Sirius' wand flew out of his hand and the boy turned, bewildered. Remus reached out and caught his friend's wand as it flew into the air. Sirius's grey eyes had followed the slim piece of wood through the air, and when they reached Remus they widened.

But Remus' work wasn't done - Mulciber had realized he was under attack and had whipped his own wand out of his robes. Cursing himself inwardly for getting into this situation, he turned his wand on the other boy. "Expelliarmus!" The wand flew out of the Slytherin boy's hand and rolled onto the floor and out of sight beneath the sea of feet.

"Remus - what - how - why…" Sirius sputtered.

"Not here," Remus said, seizing his friend's arm and dragging him away from the unfriendly table. He was moving the other boy with an authority he'd never earned, but Sirius was so in shock over the whole incident he came along without argument.

Remus pulled the bigger boy all the way out of the Great Hall and around the corner of the corridor before Sirius recovered himself and pulled his arm out of his grip.

"Why did you stop me?" He cried. "You heard what he did to Peter's nose!" The other boy was seething, his body taut with rage.

"You were going to curse him in front of the whole school, teachers and all!" Remus shouted back. "You just flew into one of your rages and went to attack without thinking - he was surrounded by friends. You could have been hurt. You could have been expelled!"

"It would have been worth it!" Sirius roared back.

"And how do you think Peter would have felt if you were kicked out of school on his account?" Remus shot back. "How do you think James would feel if Avery had cursed you into St. Mungo's while he was stuck in detention and couldn't have your back? Use your brain, you bloody idiot!" He whacked the other boy upside the head, then stopped and took a breath when he realized he felt a bit sick. This whole thing had been entirely outside his element, from the mad run from the hospital wing to the wand work in the Great Hall to the tongue-lashing he'd just given his friend. It was too soon after the moon for such exertions - neither is body nor his heart could handle it.

Sirius was looking at him like he didn't recognize him as he reached up and rubbed the back of his head where Remus had struck. Remus squatted and stuck his head between his legs, trying to shake the nauseous feeling

"Remus?" Sirius asked. He no longer sounded angry, and he bent one knee to come down to Remus' level. "Are you okay?"

"I think I'm going to be sick," Remus said, the blood pounding in his ears. He'd just attacked another student - used a spell used for dueling, which was specifically prohibited - in front of the entire school. What would Professor McGonagall do? What would Professor Dumbledore say when he heard?

Remus felt a sturdy hand on his back. "Maybe we should go back to the hospital wing?"

But Remus was afraid to move from his current position, convinced that if he did the contents of his stomach would come up his throat. His chest felt like it was on fire. "Or we could just stay here," he suggested.

"Black!" Remus dimly heard a furious voice shouting from afar.

"That might not be an option…" Sirius said."Remus, give me my wand, quick!"

"You pathetic brat!" Rodolphus Lestrange. That was the owner of the angry voice. "You dare try to hex one of us in front of the whole House?"

"Remus!" Sirius said again, urgently. "My wand!"

"Expulso!" Lestrange shouted. Remus didn't recognize the spell, but he got the idea of it when an explosion blasted a few feet away and sent a suit of armor flying in pieces.

"Are you trying to kill us, you prat?!" Sirius yelled. "Remus, where's my wand?!"

But Remus was paralyzed by a combination of the sick feeling in his stomach, the rising panic in his chest, and good old fear.

"Expulso!" Remus felt Sirius wrap his arms around him and force him to the ground, but the spell had been shot from close range this time, there was no way Lestrange would miss.

"Protego!" A new voice echoed throughout the hall, and the horrible blast Remus and Sirius had braced for never hit, though Remus heard something else explode in the distance. "Just what the hell are you doing, Rolph?"

"Andromeda?" Remus finally found the conviction to move when Lestrange said the name. Andromeda had jumped between them and the other teen, her usually sleek hair almost standing on end - like an angry animal. She was pointing her wand at Lestrange, and the boy was looking at his housemate in disbelief, if not horror. Remus couldn't blame him - her pretty face was contorted in a terrifying snarl and her eyes were fiery, the same way Sirius' got when he flew off in a temper.

"Just. What. The. Hell. Are. You. Doing?" She asked again, annunciating each word clearly. "To use that dangerous a curse in the hallway - at first years no less? At my cousin?!"

"Dromeda…" Sirius started to say.

"Be quiet, Sirius," she ordered. "Well, Rodolphus? I'm waiting for an explanation."

"You're actually defending that disgrace?" He said. "I thought you had better judgement than that, Andromeda."

That had been the wrong thing to say. Her eyes flashed and she shot a spell at him without even speaking. Remus knew the older students learned non-verbal magic, but this was the first time he'd actually seen it at work.

"Protego!" Lestrange said, and the spell bounced off some kind of invisible barrier. His eyes narrowed. "You're really going to do this, over him?"

She didn't answer with words, but suddenly her hand was moving furiously fast and flashes of spells were coming out far too fast for Remus to identify each one. Lestrange raised his wand and deflected them, but as he did she rushed forward, knocking his legs out from under him with her foot. Her wrist flicked again and his wand flew out of his hand. The result was that he was lying on the ground undefended, Andromeda's wand inches from his face.

"Don't you dare come after my cousin again," she told him. She shoved her wand up against his throat. "You and your little gang may think you're tough, but all your little dark spells won't help you when you're up against a superior. I'm Bella's sister. You'll do well to remember that."

Lestrange was glaring at her, but he knew he was defeated. "Fine," he snapped. "Fine I won't touch the kid."

Slowly she pulled the wand away from his throat, and Remus let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

She turned on her heel and stalked in their direction. "Come with me, you two," she said in a tone that did not allow for argument.

The boys scrambled to their feet and stumbled over each other to follow.

"Dromeda!" Sirius crooned with admiration is his voice. "You're amazing!"

She didn't answer and continued walking briskly. Remus wondered where she was taking them, but after a moment she stopped at an empty classroom and stood by the door, obviously expecting them to walk inside.

The boys complied, and she stepped in behind them and slammed the door.

"Just what the hell was that before in the Great Hall?" She turned to Sirius. "Have you lost your mind? You're lucky Binns and Slughorn were the only ones at the staff table - if McGonagall had been there you'd have been packing your bags! And not to forget your plan was to curse Mulciber in front of his entire House? You're lucky your little friend moved fast - and you're lucky only Rodolphus decided to pursue you! You know what some of those guys are like - you could have been seriously hurt - if not in the Great Hall then later when they caught you unawares in some dark corridor later tonight!" She paused to breathe. "What were you thinking?"

Sirius was looking at his cousin with big eyes. "Dromeda - you don't understand-"

"I don't want to hear any excuses!" She cut him off. "What in the world possessed you to do something so foolish?!"

"He hit Peter!" Sirius snapped and roared back. "He didn't even use magic - he just hit our friend and his nose was broken and his face was all cut up and bloody and I was going to do the same to him with my wand to show him what's what!"

"Well that's quite noble of you, but maybe you should think a little bit more about saving your own skin!"

"Sorry but I'm not a Slytherin - I don't just think about myself!" He shouted back.

"Sirius…" Remus watched the as the rage vanished from Andromeda's face and was replaced with hurt.

"Is that what you think?" She said, her voice low.

Sirius didn't seem to have realized what he said. "Is what what I think?!"

"That all Slytherins are just looking out for ourselves?" She asked. "Is that why...is what why you asked the hat not to sort you with us? Because you did ask, didn't you?"

Sirius went white. "No - what - I didn't mean -"

"You know, I understand you don't get on with your parents," she said, her eyes suddenly hard. "But that's no reason to lash out at every one of us. I didn't ask to be born into a family of pureblood maniacs either."

"Dromeda…" Sirius said, struggling for words. Remus simultaneously felt his heart go out to his friend, and the urge to smack him. Sirius had just spoken without thinking, as he often did, and the result had hit a nerve with Andromeda, who had just come to their rescue. But the guilt on his face was clear.

"Dromeda," Sirius said again. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean you. I know you don't just think about yourself…" He looked perfectly miserable.

Her expression softened, and she reached over and ruffled his hair. Next to his 17-year-old cousin, Sirius looked every bit a helpless little boy, and not a dangerous hoodlum about to run off and curse anyone who got in his way. "I know it's not easy," she said. "But Slytherin doesn't equal evil - even if you're looking at our family as an example. Take Narcissa - she may buy into those stupid ideas, but if she finds out Rodolphus tried to curse you, she'll probably hex his ears off." She looked thoughtfully. "Maybe I should tell her…" She shook her head. "My point is, the world isn't divided evenly into good and bad, pure and muddled, and neither are people. Everything is shades of grey."

"Shades of grey," Sirius repeated. "I guess you're right."

She smiled. "Now, that said, please, please be more careful around those guys - some of them are just plain bad. I wish Narcissa would stay away from them, but it seems she's taken a liking to Lucius, and Mother is just thrilled." She rolled her eyes and turned to Remus. "That was impressive earlier, by the way. Quick thinking with the disarming charm."

Remus blushed, not used to receiving compliments, particularly pretty, sophisticated seventh-years. "Thanks," he mumbled.

"Remus!" Sirius turned to him as though he'd forgotten he was there. "Are you feeling all right? I thought you were going to be sick before."

"I thought I was going to get in trouble," Remus admitted. "Professor McGonagall certainly wouldn't approve of using dueling spells…but I had to do something."

Andromeda was looking at him strangely. "You got yourself that worked up over the possibility of detention?"

Remus nodded, a bit ashamed having watched her launch off a barrage of dueling spells in their defense without thinking twice about it earlier.

"Ow!" Remus jumped - Andromeda had smacked Sirius upside the head the same way he had earlier.

"How does a kid this sweet and wholesome hang out with you?" She scolded him. "You better shape up before you give him a heart attack!"

"Remus is a closet rebel, just you wait, I'll drag it out of him," Sirius told her.

She laughed and shook out her hair the same way Sirius sometimes did. "I feel sorry for you, Lupin," she told him. "Though I'm glad Sirius has someone looking out for his well-being."

A small smile tugged at his lips. He had some use to his friends after all.

/

"Oh good you're back!" Peter was thrilled to see Sirius and Remus walk through the doors. The matron had healed the cuts on his face and given him a stiff lecture about dueling in the halls - even though he was sticking to his story of falling down the stairs. It's not as though he'd stood much of a chance in a duel, nor had much of a choice in the whole matter. "What happened?"

"What happened is that Sirius is giving me grey hairs," Remus said, sitting down on a stool next to the bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Just fine," Peter assured him. "I think it looked worse than it was, what with all the blood…"

He stopped speaking and all three boys turned curiously as the doors to the wing flew open. James Potter came rushing through them, looking positively frantic.

"Petey! I only just got out of detention and ran into Alice Fawley in the common room and found out you were here. "Are you okay? Who did it? I'll kill him!"

"I already tried that," Sirius said.

"Tried? Just tried?!" James turned on his best friend, astonishment painted across his face. "Failure is not an option here. They attacked our man! An attack on one of us is an attack on all of us. I want blood!"

Peter was secretly pleased that his idol was so quick to rush to his defense, but he didn't want the situation to get out of hand. "I'm fine James, really."

"Take it up with Remus - he's the one who stopped me."

"What happened?" Peter asked, eager for a good story after being cooped up for the last few hours. "Remus?" He knew Sirius would give whatever version of events suited his fancy, but Remus would tell it straight, no embellishments, but still with a bit of flair.

"Well, as you know, Sirius tore out of here in a rage when you told us what happened. So I dashed after him, running as fast as my legs would carry me," he began. "I caught up with him in the Great Hall, right as he was about to hex Mulciber in front of the entire Slytherin table."

"What?" James cried. "Without any backup?"

"Remus was there!" Sirius said.

James looked Remus up and down for a minute. "Without any backup?!" He repeated. "Not for lack of talent of course, Remus," he said as a sidebar. "But we all know how you feel about hexing Slytherins."

"He had no problem disarming me - and Mulciber," Sirius said.

"What?" Peter said. "Did you really Remus?!" He could hardly imagine his sandy-haired friend raising his wand against anyone.

"I had to," Remus said. "Sirius would have been in a heap of trouble if I hadn't stepped in."

"He's not wrong," Sirius said amicably.

"But then Rodolphus Lestrange came after us," Remus said.

"Oh no! What happened?" Peter asked anxiously. His friends looked fine, but they had been gone for a while now.''

"Andromeda stepped in," Remus said.

"And she was totally badass!" Sirius broke in. "You should have seen the way she moved - shooting spells without even speaking and tripping up Lestrange like a ninja!"

"Wow, I would have liked to have seen that," James agreed.

"So, anyway, we're alive, barely," Remus finished.

"And we brought you cream puffs, Petey," Sirius added, pulling out a bag. "I'm so sorry we left you alone in the dungeons - we weren't thinking."

"I love cream puffs!" Peter said, taking the bag. "And don't worry over it."

"Peter, what were you saying before about getting Mulciber's wand?" Remus asked curiously.

"Oh!" Peter paused in the act of shoving one of the cream puffs in his mouth. "I used lumos to blind him, then snatched the wand right out of his hand. You should have seen the look on his face." Peter frowned. "Of course then he broke my face. But it was still worth it."

James and Sirius started laughing uncontrollably, earning their group a glare from the matron. "Aww, I wish I could have seen that!" Sirius said through tears of laughter.

Peter puffed his chest out proudly. It wasn't every day he earned praise from his talented friends, and he wanted to soak it all in. Suddenly spending a few hours in the hospital wing seemed a small price to pay for the approval of his companions.


	14. Happy Halloween

"H! A! DOUBLE L! O! DOUBLE U! DOUBLE E! N! Spells Halloween!"

"What is all this racket?!" James complained. He'd been laying in bed in the delicious spot just between dreaming and wakefulness when he'd been rudely interrupted.

"Potter! It's Halloween!" Sirius threw back his bed curtains and laughed rather maniacally.

When James saw him, he started laughing as well. "What in the world are you wearing?"

"I'm a pirate!" Sirius said happily. "The Muggle children always dress up for the holiday - I watch them go door-to-door."

James raised one eyebrow in a well-practiced expression of skepticism. "Is that true Remus?"

"Actually, yes," the sandy-haired boy said. "Father would never let me, but we had lots of trick-or-treaters stop by the house. Mother always had treats on hand for them."

"I told you Potter!" Sirius said, looking at James with hooded eyes in a haughty fashion. "Personally, I prefer the trick part myself."

"As you should." James swung his feet off the bed and hopped onto the floor, wincing just a little when he hit the cold stone. "Gideon Prewett won't know what hit him."

The boys had worked out the full details of Prewett's plan just a few days before, leaving them little time for a creative blockbuster creation of their own. As it was, they were simply turning Prewett's prank on the prankster himself. James hoped the element of surprise would be enough to make the event worth it.

"But first - flying lessons!" James had almost forgotten. He flew into the bathroom and slammed the door, eager to get dressed.

"I don't see why we have to have a class on a Sunday. And on a holiday too.." Peter grumbled. But James didn't care that it was Sunday. He had been awaiting flying lessons with feverish anticipation, and they were finally here. They'd been canceled due to poor weather twice already, hence the weekend timing.

But first he was forced to sit through a long-winded explanation by the instructor, Professor Ribbons.

They were paired with Ravenclaw for this class - it was the first time James had met any of his fellow first-years in that House. There was a pretty girl with black hair and chocolate eyes named Hestia Jones that seemed to be fascinated by Sirius - and not just because of the ridiculous costume he was still wearing. She kept staring at him intently and smoothing her own hair as if hoping he'd glance her way, but Sirius was too interested in flying to notice anything but his broom. This was the normal way of things with Sirius - girls could be such airheads.

Finally they got the go-ahead to actually touch the brooms, which had been sitting on the ground at each student's left.

"Up!" The whole class cried. But only a few brooms zoomed up into the air. James and Sirius were among the sucessful, as well as Alice Fawley. James smirked at Sirius, who winked back.

"Okay, okay, no need to be concerned, just try again," Professor Ribbons said.

Remus succeeded on the second try, though he didn't look too happy about it. But, as usual, Peter was struggling.

"Don't overthink it Petey," James told the other boy. "Just visualize the broom in your hand, and it will come."

"Up!" The stragglers said a third time and James smiled as a look of wonder crossed Peter's face when the broom snapped into his waiting hand.

"See?" He told him. "If you believe it will happen, it will happen."

Professor Ribbons was giving more instructions on how to get up off the ground, but James and Sirius were growing impatient. With a glance at his friend and a lopsided grin, James kicked off.

Lucky for him that was at the moment Ribbons had instructed the rest of the class to move as well. Most students had succeeded, though it was clear scanning the faces surrounding him that there were widely ranging levels of comfort in the skies.

"Oh...um...oh...how do you steer?" Peter asked. He was only a few feet off the ground and spinning around in circles.

"First, don't hold the broom up like that Petey, level it out," James told him as he himself rose higher and higher into the air.

"Like this? Oh no!"

"No not like - "

But it was too late - Peter had zoomed forward, rising into the air at the same time and shooting straight for a tree.

"Mr. Pettigrew - turn!" Ribbons called tensely. James watched with interest as Peter managed to yank the broom in a different direction at the last possible moment, avoiding the hard crash of the tree, but instead slamming into Sirius, who yelped.

Both boys went crashing to the ground, though Sirius managed to recover himself enough to roll off the broom and land on his knees. "Merlin's beard!" He cried. "That must be what it feels like to walk the plank!"

James was laughing at the spectacle as he came down to check on his two friends. Professor Ribbons, Remus, and Hestia Jones were all rushing for the boys.

"Are you okay?" The girl asked Sirius, touching his shoulder. But James could tell Sirius was just fine - it was Peter he was now concerned about. He quelled his laughter and landed next to Remus and Ribbons, who was examining the boy's wrist. James felt extremely guilty when he saw the strange angle Peter's hand hung from and the paleness of his face.

"Okay son, it's just a little break, the matron will be able to fix you right up," Ribbons was saying. "Can you walk? Let's get you to the hospital wing."

Peter looked like he was about to blubber, so James hastily shoved in and put a consoling hand on his back. "Hey, could have been worse for your first try, right? The first time I rode a proper broom I was seven and I promptly crashed into a thicket of thorn bushes - broke an ankle and Mum was pulling thorns out of my bum for hours! Very undignified."

The anecdote appeared to cheer Peter despite his pain, because he offered James a thin smile. "I've always been rather rubbish at sports anyway."

"Me too," Remus said. "No hand-eye coordination."

"All right boys, let's see about helping your friend up and getting him to the hospital wing," the professor said.

"But Sirius -" Remus started to say.

"Arghhhh, I be fine matey," Sirius said, giving a thumbs up.

"That was a fine recovery, Mr. Black," Ribbons said as he gently helped Peter to his feet. "Perhaps a jaunt on the House Quidditch team is in your future?"

Sirius looked rather pleased with that comment and didn't offer a smart remark as he often might to a teacher. James tried not to be envious that it was his friend's flying skill and not his own that had captured the professor's attention.

The professor instructed the whole class to wait while he took Peter inside for treatment. Remus looked very much like he wanted to tag along but the professor shooed him away.

As soon as the castle doors swung shut James turned to Sirius. "Race you to the lake and back?"

"You're on!"

Both boys mounted their brooms and took off before Lily Evans could even open her mouth to scold them.

"Yes!" This was more like it. James felt the wind tousling his hair and his robes flew out around him. He dove low as he reached the lake, releasing one hand's grip from the broom so he could dip it into the cool water.

Next to him Sirius was laughing, matching him movement for movement until they reached the lake. Rather than dip a hand, Sirius rolled upside-down and dipped his hair.

The maneuver cost him - James was first to touch back down with the other students. Sirius landed seconds later, shaking out his now wet hair like a dog and grinning. He looked like he had walked the plank.

Much of the class was laughing and Hestia Jones and Mary MacDonald were both clapping. The pair of friends took a bow before returning to Remus, who was one of the few not smiling.

"That was against the rules and dangerous," he told them, looking upset. "You saw what happened to Peter - what would have happened if you'd fallen?"

"Come on Remus, you didn't really think one of _us_ would fall," James drawled.

"We're a fair bit more coordinated than Pettigrew." Sirius was laughing.

"You shouldn't put your safety at risk like that," Remus told them. "What if you were hurt? What if the giant squid decided to pluck one of you off a broom for its own amusement? What if -"

"What if we had a jolly old time and nothing bad happened?" James finally cut him off. "Calm down Lupin - we've both been on brooms before. We've already had two flying lessons canceled over poor weather - I wasn't wasting the first chance I've had to hit the sky."

"That much was obvious," Mary MacDonald said. "Will you give the lessons? How did you fly one-handed?" A few other students gathered around murmuring similar questions.

James grinned. He loved the attention of his peers. It made him feel empowered. "Well you see, the key to flying one-handed - or no-handed - is actually in the ankles…"

Flying distracted James from everything else, including their plans to prank Prewett, and he was a happy boy through the class. The plan involved fireworks, a curious Muggle toy called silly string, and the suits of armour lining the halls.

Chasing around Gideon Prewett had a variety of benefits, in James' eyes. He'd learned where the prefect's bathroom was, for though Prewett was not a prefect himself, he'd somehow gleaned the password and often snuck in during the busy dinner hour for some quiet time. James had also learned that there was a secret passageway behind a mirror on the fourth floor, which appeared to lead outside. Sirius had followed Gideon through a passage behind a tapestry that came out near Flitwick's classroom, and Peter insisted there was some kind of fancy room on the third floor full of armchairs and advanced spellbooks, but the boys had been unable to find the room again and James had to wonder if Peter had been mistaken in its placement. He was almost sorry the spying was about to end. Mischief-making was a welcome distraction from his woes - he hadn't been homesick for his mother in weeks and he was starting to truly become the confident persona he put on as a show for everyone else.

/

Sirius was in his glory as he surveyed the Entrance Hall with a critical eye. The preparations were complete. Gideon Prewett had just finished rigging the suits of armor to shoot silly string at students as they headed down to the Halloween Feast. What he didn't know was that Sirius and James had been hiding under the invisibility cloak, waiting for him to finish so that they could change the time-delayed spell into one that wouldn't go off without a specific prompt.

Meanwhile, Remus and Peter were hiding in the rafters above the Great Hall, hidden by the enchanted ceiling and dutifully working to magic the explosives to spell Gideon's name in red and gold sparkles. James had talked mild-mannered Remus Lupin into mischief-making with promises of copious amounts of chocolate, and it had been a brilliant strategic move. Lupin was just as smart as he or James, and unlike them, he had the diligence and patience to research the details on the spells they needed to pull everything off.

Content that everything was in place, Sirius grinned and pushed his decorative eyepatch back over his eye. It was game time.

Students began trickling in for the fast slowly, eager first years at the front and the older students, who knew what to expect, farther behind. James was positioned at the staircase, invisible, lying in wait for the first glimpse of Prewett's vibrant shade of red hair.

The signal came in the form of a sharp whistle, Grinning, Sirius waved his wand, and chaos ensued.

"Ahhh!" A Ravenclaw girl with long blonde screamed as she was assaulted by a suit of armor. Massive amounts of sticky Muggle silly string were shooting across the entrance hall. Sirius, who was safely behind the suits of armor, avoided the material, but Gideon, along with every other unfortunate soul in the entrance hall, could not escape.

"Bloody hell!"

"My hair!"

"Sod it!"

"What is this stuff?!"

""Evanesco!"

"Eeeek!"

Students were screaming and cursing as they struggled to avoid drowning in the mass of plastic. A few older students had the presence of mind to vanish the substance, but Prewett had cast some kind of duplication spell and the well-stocked account just kept coming. Younger students covered their heads and shrieked while older students tried taking up arms against the suits of armor themselves. Sirius couldn't help but admire Prewett's spellwork - the inanimate objects jumped and dodged spells with ease.

"What the - " Gideon was trying to clear the face of his watch of silly string enough to read the time. It must have been difficult, - Sirius had tested the silly string, and while it wasn't exactly wet, it had a slimey feel and left a strange coating on everything it touched. Obviously, Gideon had intended for the event to start later, after he'd safely cleared through the area.

"What is the meaning of this?" Professor McGonagall's voice rang out as she appeared at the top of the staircase. It took nothing more than a flick of her wand to handle the mess and reign in the suits of armor. Students sighed in relief when they thought it was over.

"It still feels like it's in my hair," a short Hufflepuff girl whined.

"Well, Miss Abbott, I imagine a shower might solve that," McGonagall said, sounding supremely unconcerned. "It seems someone decided to pull a trick. Rest assured that once I find proof of who it was, they will miss out on the "treat" part of the evening." Her eyes fell briefly on Sirius before moving to Prewett, whose ears had turned red.

Sirius just grinned and ducked into the Great Hall. The second course would begin shortly.

"Phase one was a wild success," Sirius told Remus and Peter as he slid into place at the Gryffindor table. Something invisible shoved its way into him, and Sirius kicked James under the table.

"Phase two is ready to go," Peter told them. He was wiggling in his seat, as though unable to reign in his excitement. Remus, in contrast, was remarkably still, though the twinkle in his eye betrayed his amusement.

"Wait until the feast is formally underway," the disembodied voice of James Potter whispered. "I'll be back."

There was a swishing noise to indicate James' exit. The spot was taken up by Gideon Prewett himself, who looked a bit disgruntled.

"Happy Halloween, Gideon my good man," Sirius said, saddling up to the older boy and putting on a coy smile.

Gideon looked down and his grumpy expression softened into one of amusement when he noticed the costume. "Argh! Ahoy there matey." He glanced around. "Where's Potter?"

Sirius shrugged. "I'm not his keeper," he said. The redhead grew visibly suspicious, but Sirius just continued to smile. "Chocolate truffle?" He popped a candy out of his pocket.

Gideon frowned. "I wouldn't want to ruin my appetite…"

A group of Slytherins slunk by, openly pointing and laughing at Sirius' costume as they passed. Sirius felt Peter shiver beside him, but he ignored the group. He was always able to overlook his anger or embarrassment when he was about to cause mayhem. Besides, he knew he looked dashing.

Dumbledore stood and raised an arm, indicating quiet. The roar of students eager for the feast died down to a low rumble.

"Halloween," he began, "Can be traced back to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, which was celebrated in a time where wizards and Muggles lived together as one, and yet did not entirely understand one another. Muggles believed that on this day the division between the living and the dead was at its weakest. Though we in the magical community fancy ourselves better-versed in matters of the dead due to our ability to return as ghosts -" he tipped a hat to Nearly Headless Nick and the Fat Friar, who were in attendance "the truth is we still know very little. So let us raise a goblet and toast to the unknown that lies beyond this realm, and if the dead are among us tonight, let us show them a good time." His eyes twinkled and food appeared on the long tables.

"That was a strange speech," Peter said, already helping himself to a chicken leg.

Sirius ignored him. Remus had his hand on his wand. His eyes flickered to Sirius for a moment, then he flicked his wand and whispered a spell.

Upheaval. Bedlam. Pandemonium.

All these words came to Sirius' mind as fireworks burst from the ceiling, sparks raining down across the tables. Once again, students shrieked and some dove for cover under the tables. The staff and the prefects were on their feet as though it was an attack, which Sirius supposed was an easy mistake to make. But Remus had been the one to enchant the fireworks - no one would be hurt.

The noise was deafening. Remus was trying to say something, but Sirius only saw the lips move. The room was filling with smoke, giving the Great Hall an eerie feel. Sirius was laughing, his neck craned so he could get a good look at what they had done.

Gideon Aiden Prewett. The name shown brightly, writing in sparkling lights in the dim hall. Sirius glanced over at him and saw that the teen had turned a funny shade of dark red - almost bordering on purple.

"CALM, PLEASE!" McGonagall's voice rang out, magically amplified. Sirius knew the fun would be over momentarily, so he turned back to admire their handiwork one last time. Remus had magically altered the fireworks quite beautifully - along with the script, there were starbursts and spirals and even something that looked like a bird.

A few wand waves from the staff and it was all over.

Gideon turned his neck aggressively fast, his hair swaying at the motion. "BLACK!"

"At your service," Sirius said, trying to clear the ringing in his ears with his finger.

"That's not my middle name."

"Yes it is. I swiped McGonagall's register," Sirius said immediately, without thinking. Then he realized he'd given himself away.

"I knew! I knew I should be suspicious of you and Potter," the older boy said, shaking his head. "How the bloody hell did a couple of first years steal my thunder?"

Sirius opened his mouth to answer, but before he could, a cold wind swept through the hall, and every single candle and torch went out, plunging them into blackness. More screams.

"Now what?"

"That wasn't us," Sirius told him. He suddenly felt the need to have his wand securely in his hand, and he moved closer to Remus and Peter.

"Is that James?" Remus asked him. Sirius shook his head.

"James was ducking down to the Slug Club party to set off a few fireworks down there, then he was going to rush back here for the main event," Sirius told him. Sirius and James had been invited to the party, but they'd had no interest. He was watching the staff table closely. It seemed, from what he could deduce through the shadows, that Dumbledore and McGonagall were trying to restore the light.

"What the devil is going on?" James had returned and pulled off the invisibility cloak, relying on the darkness to cover up his sudden appearance.

"I don't know -" Sirius hadn't finished his sentence, but another frigid wind blew through at that moment, and someone shrieked as a bunch of floating candles over the Ravenclaw table fell to the ground. Sirius saw who he thought was Dorcas Meadowes rush to the aid of a few second-years who had been standing beneath the fallen wax.

Suddenly flames popped up in the torches lining the walls and Sirius could see clearly again.

"Well, I suppose that was someone's way of telling us they weren't too fond of the fireworks," Dumbledore said nonchalantly. 'If I recall, before all the excitement, we were all about to hunker down and eat."

Food appeared, and nervous students returned to their bench seats, looking around suspiciously.

McGonagall swept between the tables and stood next to Gideon. "Mr. Prewett. I imagine you to be bright enough not to leave a signature on your less advisable stunts."

The seventh-year stole a look at James and Sirius, then shrugged at his professor. "I thought you liked fireworks, Professor. You seemed plenty content with them when Gryffindor took home the Quidditch cup last year."

The witch frowned. "I do enjoy fireworks, outdoors at appropriate events. Not inside where they could set fire to tablecloths and student robes." She sighed. "Am I to understand you're not going to give up whoever did this?"

"I'd be a poor sport if I did, don't you think?"

She shook her head. "Twenty points from Gryffindor." She then returned to her place at the staff table.

"That's it?" Sirius asked, incredulous. "Not even a tongue-lashing?"

"What can I say? She's fond of me." Gideon grinned. Frank Longbottom materialized next to him.

"A little flashy, Gideon, don't you think?" The boy grinned. "When did you start signing your work?"

Prewett was swallowed by a crowd of older students and the first years left to their own devices.

"That was...anticlimactic…" James said, frowning.

"That ominous wind did put a bit of a damper on things," Remus said. "What do you suppose that was?"

"Some days, the dead are more forceful than others." Nearly Headless Nick popped up, making Peter jump.

"Don't give me that rubbish," James said. "I don't buy into that whole Muggle theory."

The ghost just chuckled. "That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean, sir?" Peter asked politely.

"I mean, sometimes ghosts enjoy a little prank too." He winked at them then floated off, leaving the four of them looking rather foolish with their mouths hanging open.

"B-but I thought only Poltergeists played pranks…" Peter stuttered.

At once, Sirius started laughing. "We've been outdone."

/

"Remus is gone again," Sirius told James as soon as he returned from detention.

"Are you certain he's not just at the library?" James asked, dropping his bag carelessly at the foot of his bed.

"He's not, I checked."

James frowned. "So do you figure he's off to see his mum again?"

"I s'pose," Sirius said. "But he didn't look so good earlier. It doesn't seem right to force him home like that all the time, in the middle of the week no less."

"And he never warns us he's going," Peter added sadly. "I was going to ask him for help on this Charms essay..."

James leaned over the shorter boy and snatched the parchment out of his hands. "I'll help you with that Petey," he said. James loved any excuse to share his brilliance with those who needed it.

Sirius snorted and took custody of the essay. "You're rubbish at Charms. Don't torture Pettigrew."

"I am not!" James was affronted. It was true Sirius had more of a natural talent for Charms, and Remus certainly knew the material better because he spent so much time studying, but James did just fine in the lessons. "Besides, we all know you don't have the patience to sit calmly and help Peter on his essay."

Sirius bit his lip and scanned Peter's work. "True," he said after a moment, dropping the parchment on James's bed. "I leave this duty to you, young Potter."

"I wish Remus as here," James muttered after looking over the essay himself. "Peter, the incantation is wingardium leviosa - not winged guardians tossia. Where did you even get that?" He scribbled it out and corrected it.

"We should sneak down to the kitchens and snag some chocolate biscuits for when he gets back," Sirius said, obviously displeased with the schoolwork that was going on.

"We don't have any idea when he will get back," James pointed out. "The first time he was gone two days, the next three. Biscuits won't last in this room that long." He looked at Peter pointedly.

"I wouldn't eat biscuits meant for Remus!" Peter said, looking insulted. "Well...not unless I was really hungry…"

"We'll save the trip to the kitchens for tomorrow," James said.

"Why tomorrow?" Sirius asked.

"Oh, no reason…" James said evasively. "Hey, you know what we could do tonight…."

"Help me finish my essay?" Peter asked.

"Sure, sure," James said, waving his hand dismissively. "So, you know how McGonagall and Flitwick have all manner of animals on hand for practical sessions?"

Sirius nodded.

"Well, she has to keep them somewhere, right? Somewhere in this building there's a room full of rats and rabbits and birds. Let's find it and set them all loose!"

"I'm not sure-" Peter started to speak.

"Brilliant, Potter!" Sirius was already getting up. "Any idea where to start?"

"Just follow along," James said with a wink.

A short time later the boys were standing in a room on the second floor filled with all manner of small animals, from mice to toads to kittens to...

"PUPPIES!" Sirius squealed in a voice James had never heard out of him before and ran up to the enclosure. "Puppies!" He said again, apparently too overjoyed to form any other word. He hopped right in and sat down. The animals, which had been sleeping, woke up and began sniffing him curiously and wagging their little tails.

"They are cute little buggers," James said, stepping in. "I hope we don't have to do something awful like transfigure them into books." He picked up a black and white one and it began licking his face.

"I couldn't do that!" Peter exclaimed.

"If you do it right it won't hurt them - it's no different than transfiguring yourself, except in the puppy's case it's dependant on you to put it right," James told him in between making kissy faces at the dog he was holding."McGonagall explained that the first day of class. If it harmed them we've have some animal rights advocacy group descend from the heavens and shut us down I'm sure."

"Oh, well that's a relief," Peter said, lying down in the sea of puppies and letting them run all over him. He giggled.

"But who would ever want to transfigure such good boys?" Sirius said in the type of voice reserved only for animals and small children. He had four puppies in his arms and kept rubbing his face on them making cooing noises. "Think we can nick one of them?"

"I'd advise against it, Mr Black."

James froze and turned very slowly to look at the source of the voice, hoping he was imaging things. "Professor McGonagall! Fancy meeting you here." The room hadn't been marked with any particular signage warning students away, but it had been locked. But what was a locked door to a school full of young witches and wizards anyway? Surely no one expected a locked door to stop anyone.

"Yes, Mr. Potter, imagine my surprise, given that curfew was 30 minutes ago," she said sternly.

"Was it? Golly boys, we must have lost track of times. Best be getting back to the common room then…"

"Perhaps you should write home for a watch. Mr. Black - do stop trying to shove a puppy under your robes."

Peter was already at the door, but Sirius was looking regretfully at the puppies. "Mum would never let me have a dog..."

To James' surprise, the professor strode over to Sirius and put a gentle hand on his shoulder while plucking the puppy from his arms. "Head to bed, Mr. Black. You will all serve your detention for breaking curfew feeding and exercising the puppies tomorrow. Professor Kettleburn will appreciate a break."

"Really?!" Sirius' face lit up. "That's hardly a punishment at all!"

"I expect you may take that back when you're cleaning up dog feces tomorrow." James thought he saw McGonagall smile, but it was gone so fast he couldn't be certain. "Let's go you three."

"We get to play with puppies tomorrow!" Sirius said, dancing to the door. "Puppies! Say, Professor, if Remus is back, can we bring him too?"

"I'm sure Mr. Lupin will appreciate some quiet time to study while you three take your punishment, Mr. Black."

"But puppies!" Sirius whistled the whole walk back to the Common Room.

James went to bed that night rather pleased with himself. Sirius didn't know it, but James had been making plans to celebrate his friend's birthday the following day. Detention hadn't been part of the plan of course, but McGonagall had been uncharacteristically lenient in her choice of punishment - indeed it wasn't really a punishment at all.

James wondered as he drifted off to sleep if his Head of House took the time to memorize her students' birthdays. He liked to think she had.

/

"SIRIUS BLACK, WAKE UP!" The boy was rudely awakened by a very loud James Potter jumping on his bed.

"My wand," he grumbled, fumbling around for it on his nightside table with James on top of him. "Peter, my wand, I need to hex Potter to next Sunday."

"Will you just get up and look at the foot of your bed first?" James said, sounding excited.

Sirius blinked. "The foot of my…oh, right." He'd forgotten it was his birthday.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" James cried with much more enthusiasm than Sirius felt at the moment.

"How did you know?" Sirius asked. He hadn't volunteered the information.

James grinned wickedly. "I couldn't possibly reveal my sources. But look, presents! And Petey and I snuck down to the kitchens so you can have breakfast in bed!"

The smaller boy appeared with a huge plate full of breakfast offerings, from eggs to kippers to porridge to Belgian waffles.

"Thanks," Sirius said, a little bewildered. He'd never been served breakfast in bed before. In fact, it had been a long time since his birthday had been made such a spectacle. The Blacks marked birthdays with rather formal ceremonies, not happy bubbly moments. When he'd turned ten, he'd received a garish locket in which he was supposed to store a vial of his own blood. He'd thrown it off the London Bridge.

"We weren't sure what you'd be in the mood for, so we grabbed it all," Peter said, putting the plate down on the bed.

"But first, presents!" James said. "Open mine first." He shoved a package impeccably wrapped in shiny crimson wrapping paper and topped with a little gold ribbon in Sirius' hands. "And no, it's not a puppy."

"All right," Sirius said, sitting up properly and smiling when he realized how the morning was going to go. He looked around. "But Remus is gone again, isn't he?"

James frowned. "Yes," he said, looking unhappy. "I'm sorry Sirius, I'm sure he would have stayed if he could."

"It's fine," Sirius said, though he did secretly wish he had all three of his friends around him on his first happy birthday morning in some time. He tried to shake the disappointment off and ripped into James' gift with vigor.

Inside was a thick muffler in Gryffindor red and gold, embroidered with a Gryffindor lion, and a matching knit wool cap and gloves.

"Do you like them?" James asked, sounding almost anxious, which was unusual for him. "I sent away for the best quality. I know the gold will clash with the silver on your cloak a bit but I thought you needed something in proper Gryffindor colors."

Sirius was at a loss for words. His parents would never in a thousand years purchase him such garments, though Bellatrix, Andromeda and Narcissa had all been purchased handsome sets of similar attire in Slytherin green and silver when they were first years. He ran his hands against the soft wool. "I love them," he said forcefully. "They're perfect."

James beamed at him. "I know it's a bit motherly to buy clothing on a boy's birthday, but we had to have you properly attired."

"Thank you," Sirius said, still staring down at the items. He was deeply touched by the gesture. Of course he could have sent away for things himself with the money his mother had given him for the school year, but to receive them as a gift was a thousand times better.

"Open mine now!" Peter said, dropping a lumpy package wrapped in brown paper onto the bed.

Sirius set aside James' gift in a place of honor in a cubby over his headboard, then dug into the second package. He laughed when he realized it was dungbombs.

"I wouldn't have expected this out of you, Pettigrew," he said grinning. "How did you get these?"

"One of the fourth years bought them for me in Hogsmeade. If you get caught with them, I know nothing," the boy said.

"Oh, I don't intend to get caught," Sirius said, already formulating plans to use them.

"Just don't leave them out on the floor of the dormitory where someone may step on one and set it off," James said. "Waste of a perfectly good dungbomb - and stinky. Come on now, there's more, keep opening."

A package from one set of his grandparents contained a three cashmere jumpers of a fine quality and several pairs of socks. The other set had sent him a rather heavy looking gold chain, as if any 12-year-old boy was after jewelry. Andromeda and Narcissa had sent along a package of sweets from Honeydukes in Hogsmeade- Sirius was not surprised to see that Narcissa had not actually signed the card - it was in Dromeda's handwriting.

Another parcel contained greetings from his Uncle Alphard and several Quidditch magazines. Regulus had sent along a set of Quidditch figurines representing Puddlemere United, and Sirius spent a minute letting them zoom around the room, amused by the oohs and aahs the toys received from Peter.

Finally he turned to the smallest one, the one from his parents. He was apprehensive about opening it - he knew he wasn't in good standing with them, so what did his mother send?

Bracing himself, he opened it to find...money.

"Galleons?" James said. "They just sent you Galleons?"

"Twelve Galleons," Sirius confirmed.

"How lovely," Peter said. "Twelve Galleons for 12 years. My mother could never afford that."

But Sirius hardly considered it lovely. Even if his birthdays were usually about ceremony rather than him, in previous years his parents at at least made an effort to give him a proper gift. Peter might think it was a lot, but those Galleons were probably just pulled from the bottom of his father's pocket. Still, it was better than being ignored all together.

But he glanced back at the beautiful set of winter things James had given him. He doubted they'd cost 12 Galleons, but it was still the best gift he'd ever been given.

* * *

 **A/N:** I know there is absolutely nothing in the canon about what happens with the animals used in class and no evidence that they aren't just vanished away, but I like to think they are well cared for during their time at Hogwarts and adopted out when they are no longer needed. So just work with me on that one.


	15. Loyalty and Troublemaking

The wolf had done something bad.

As Remus came back to himself, he immediately knew. The pain in his leg was not a normal pain. He resisted the urge to vomit and tried to think. Sometimes he could recall bits and pieces of his time transformed, but the memories were always hazy and had a nightmare-like quality to them. But nothing was coming to him, and he was losing the battle against the bile in his throat.

He managed to prop himself up on one arm before the hot liquid crossed his lips, but the retching made the pain even worse and was unable to remain upright, crashing back down onto the floor.

He tried to remain calm. His whole body felt very weak - he must have lost a lot of blood. Was he bleeding out from his leg?

He didn't even hear the trapdoor open, but suddenly soft hands were touching him, so Madam Pomfrey must have arrived.

"Remus can you hear me?" She asked gently, running a hand down the leg.

He tried to answer her, but more vomit came up and he choked.

"Okay dear, okay now," she said soothingly. He felt her wand tap his leg. At once the pain became more bearable. "You took a chunk out of your leg," she said matter-of-factly. "It must be painful.

"Mmm," Remus made the only sound he felt safe trying. She reached into her pocket, pulled out a handkerchief and wet it with her wand, then wiped his face.

"I'm going to put you on the stretcher now," she told him. "I'll be able to fix the leg, but I'd rather do it back at the hospital wing.

"Mhmmm," Remus breathed. The nauseating fire in his stomach was starting to settle as his leg went numb. "My leg - I can't feel it anymore…" he gasped, suddenly scared when he realized this.

"That's my doing," she assured him. "Just try to close your eyes and relax - I'll try to make the ride up to the school as smooth as possible."

"Okay," he said, his voice cracking with the effort of making noise with his raw throat. He did close his eyes and let himself fall into uneasy rest as the healer lifted him with magic.

When he opened his eyes later the bright afternoon sun was shining through the window in his little room. He must have slept for hours.

He turned his chin as best he could to look down at his body. He could feel his leg again and it hurt - but instead of the agony of before, it just throbbed, which was far more tolerable.

He tested the rest of his body and felt that everything else was in order - a few cuts and scrapes, but nothing too serious.

While he was taking stock the door opened and Madam Pomfrey entered. "You're awake, good. You should take some of this." She handed him what Remus recognized as blood-replenishing potion. He forced it down - the saltiness stung his throat.

"Now have some water," she instructed, handing him a glass. He took it thankfully. She was very good at predicting his needs. "I fixed up the leg best I could, but you'll probably be sore for at least a week," she told him. "I'd like to keep you for a few extra days - "

Remus dropped the glass, which was already mostly empty anyway. "No no - I'm trying to only miss a day or two of class each month - "

"-but I suspected you wouldn't accept that," she finished. "If I let you go, you must promise to be easy on the leg. No running, and look out for the trick steps. You will have a bit of a limp, and you must put a salve on the leg each night."

"Oh- okay," Remus said, relaxing.

"Professor McGonagall was here earlier - she dropped off materials on today's Transfiguration lesson. She thought you might want them sooner rather than later," she told him. "Do you?"

"Of course!" Remus said, glad for a distraction from his hurts.

"Accio," she said, waving her wand. The notes flew through the door, which she'd left ajar, and she handed them to him. "You know, most boys your age do their very best to avoid classwork when they find themselves here."

"I'm not most boys," Remus told her as he began shuffling through the notes.

She smiled. "That's certainly true."

He looked up at her curiously. For some reason he didn't think she was referring to the lycanthropy. But she did not say anything further and left him to his work.

The work McGonagall had sent was theory, not practical, and Remus finished it up rather quickly. His mind began to wander, and he found himself puzzling over the Podmores once more. There had not been any more murder cases mentioned in the Daily Prophet, though there were strange articles about missing Muggles that Remus believed must be connected. Why else would the newspaper publish news from the non-magical world?

Remus' brain could not resist a puzzle, and the stories in the Prophet were just pieces. He suspected the headmaster had intimate knowledge of the situation, but it wasn't the place of an 11-year-old werewolf to pester the head of the Wizengamot.

Indeed Remus wondered why he was even thinking about things so out of his league as murder and pureblood politics. He should just be grateful for his place at school, and focus on things that other 11-year-old boys enjoyed.

But James and Sirius were interested too - for all their foolhardy antics, the pureblood boys were well-versed in current events, and though to the rest of the student body they may give the impression of carefree chaos-makers, Remus knew there was more to them.

It had only been a few months, but Remus knew James, Sirius and Peter were the best friends he'd ever had, and likely the best he'd ever have.

Remus let out an audible gasp. They were the best friends he'd ever had, and yet he was missing Sirius' birthday.

What was he going to do? He had no money - his parents had little money and had never provided him with an allowance. Since he rarely went out and never without his parents, this had never been a problem. But James and Sirius were rolling in obscene amounts of spending money - surely James had purchased something extravagant. Even Peter had a reasonably full money pouch and likely procured some kind of gift. Remus couldn't return to his friends empty-handed.

He was close to panic when he remembered the one thing he had that Sirius did not - access to the Muggle world that the pureblood boy found so fascinating.

Remus smiled to himself. He had an idea. He would write his father.

Madam Pomfrey allowed him to return to the dormitory after two days of rest, and after eliciting promises that he would take things easy. His leg was still very sore and his emotions a bit raw, but he was happy to return to his friends, and Sirius was eager to show off what they'd discovered in his absence.

"Puppies?" Remus asked Sirius. "Actual puppies?"

"Yes! Right on the second floor. And Kettleburn said we did such a good job caring for them in detention we can visit anytime - so you wouldn't be breaking any rules! Want to go see them?"

Of course Remus wanted to see the puppies. Animals, especially baby animals, were always a comfort - werewolves couldn't pass the curse along to animals, and, though he'd never tested tested the theory, a professor from Castelobruxo in Brazil had insisted that none of the werewolves he sheltered ever attacked animals.

And so the four friends went back to the curious room full of animals. The puppies were awake when they arrived, and moved all at once as a giant sea of fur, whining for the boys to pick them up.

Remus took one carefully, holding it like a precious icon. The puppy was warm and squirming and snuggled right into his shoulder. It was immediate and unconditional acceptance, and suddenly Remus started to cry.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" James asked.

But Remus couldn't put the feeling into words, not without betraying some part of himself. "He's just so...so…"

"So adorable!" Sirius roared, dropping a second puppy on Remus' free shoulder. "I can't believe we're the only students here."

"Most other students wouldn't unlock a locked door searching aimlessly for animals," Peter said. He was carrying a squirming puppy around on his head.

"You know, Dromeda never mentioned a classroom full of animals. Seems a grievous oversight," Sirius commented, scooping up two more of the animals.

"It must be a well-kept secret. But we, in our brilliance, uncovered it!" James said gleefully. "This castle contains all manner of secrets, and the four of us will discover them all!"

Remus laughed through his tears, resulting in a bit of an odd choking sound. His little puppy licked the salty tears off his cheeks, and the young werewolf felt that everything wrong in the world could be forgotten, if only for a moment.

/

Remus had returned, but he was limping.

James had noticed straightaway, but knowing how Remus deplored the attention of others, he waited through their little jaunt down to the animal classroom and morning classes until Sirius and Peter hurried along to lunch and were out of earshot before he asked about it.

"What happened to your leg?" James asked the other boy. The limp had become increasingly obvious as they navigated the many stairs to the Great Hall.

Remus frowned. "I'm afraid I was a bit frantic when they contacted me about Mother this time and forgot about one of the false steps. I twisted my ankle."

"I see," James said, but that didn't really add up. If Remus had twisted his ankle being informed of his mother's decline it would have had three days to heal at this point, and if it wasn't healing properly why hadn't he gone to the matron? But James decided to let it go - Remus looked a bit worse for wear and he didn't want to stress the boy further with unnecessary interrogation. Still, he hoped none of the Slytherins had been picking on Remus when he and Sirius weren't around.

"You missed Sirius' birthday," James said conversationally. "I think it went rather well - I'm not sure the poor bloke has ever had the luxury of breakfast in bed before - he was terribly excited about it, ate way too much, then fell asleep in Charms." He chuckled.

"I almost forget!" Remus said, pausing and rifling through his bag. "I didn't have time to wrap it, but look what I found. It's a book all about Muggle mechanics. Remember how he was asking about how things worked on the train? I thought he might find this interesting."

James laughed. "That's a bit of a weird gift for a boy from a hardline pureblood family," he said without thinking. But he felt bad when he saw Remus' face fall.

"You're right - it's stupid…" Remus said frowning.

"No, no, I didn't say that!" James immediately backtracked. "He'll love it I'm sure. You should give it to him at lunch."

"Are you sure?" Remus asked, still looking concerned.

"I'm sure he'll find it fascinating," James said firmly. "It's a very thoughtful gift."

"I didn't have any money to spend…it was my father's. Do you think he'll be bothered it's second-hand?"

"Silly Remus, gifts aren't about the cost," James told him, though he'd never been given anything second-hand himself. "Mum says the best gifts are ones that come from the heart. Like one year, Dad made her an elaborate four-course meal. She said it was better than being taken out to a fancy dinner - even though the potatoes were a bit scorched and the sauce a bit runny - because he went through all the effort himself." James nodded as if this settled the matter. "Though I do admit, I myself wouldn't have gone back for seconds…"

"I suppose that makes sense…" Remus said finally. They resumed walking and met up with Peter and Sirius in the Great Hall.

"Black! Lupin has something for you," James said, intent on making sure Remus didn't get cold feet.

"Oh?" Sirius looked up from his meal curiously.

"Happy Belated Birthday," Remus said shyly, handing over the book.

Sirius scanned the cover for a moment, his face lighting up in excitement as he identified what he'd been given. "Does this explain how airplanes stay up?" He asked.

"I'm not sure, but it does explain cars, trains, clocks and a variety of other things," Remus told him, settling on the bench next to the bigger boy.

"Brilliant," Sirius said, opening it on the table, his lunch forgotten.

James sat down across the table next to Peter, who was enjoying his second sandwich of the meal. Sirius and Remus were flipping through the book together now, Sirius gesturing excitedly at the diagrams and Remus explaining what certain objects were. Despite his rather peaky appearance, Remus was smiling broadly. James was glad he'd found a distraction from the worries about his mother.

It was rather odd to watch Sirius read. He somehow managed to make noise even during what should be a quiet activity. The raven-haired boy would hold his breath, then let it out at strange intervals, as if so interested in the information he was obtaining that he'd forgotten to breathe. And when he turned pages he somehow managed to make the paper crinkle loudly, despite not actually damaging it.

James sat down next to Peter and grabbed a cucumber sandwich for himself.

"Petey! The first Quidditch match of the season is tomorrow. Ravenclaw versus Hufflepuff. Who do you plan to root for?"

"I hear Hufflepuff's team is strong," Peter said eagerly. The captain is being scouted by Puddlemere and the Tornadoes!"

"Is she now?" James asked, interested. It wasn't often that Peter had more information on school gossip than he. "Where did you hear that?"

"Marlene of course," Peter said. "Who else do we know in Hufflepuff?"

James didn't bother to point out to Peter that he knew many other students in Hufflepuff house. "What else did Marlene tell you?" James made a mental note to pay closer attention to all the whispering in Herbology - apparently he was missing valuable information!

"She said her brother Aiden has been after the other beater, Ted Tonks, because Tonks has some kind of secret girlfriend and has been trying to get out of practice to go see her."

"Pah! What kind of man lets a woman get between him and Quidditch?" James shook his head.

"I know!" Peter squeaked. "But apparently Tonks is very good, even skiving off practice."

James glanced over at the Hufflepuff table. "She must be quite the girl."

Peter shrugged noncommittally. "No one seems to know who she is."

James raised an eyebrow, skeptical. "A forbidden romance? Suppose it's a bird with a boyfriend? Or maybe a teacher!"

Peter shrugged again and grabbed a biscuit.

James loved secrets. Or, more specifically, he loved knowing everyone's secret. And one that could affect Quidditch seemed of the utmost importance. So he resolved to find out who Ted Tonks was seeing.

/

The term was flying by in a whirlwind for Peter Pettigrew. He'd resigned himself to the fact that he'd never be the most promising student, but with help from his friends he was keeping his head above water well enough. He'd spent several evenings wandering the halls with Remus chatting with portraits, some of whom remembered his father enough to tell stories. Peter greatly admired James and Sirius, but having Remus along on these excursions had been the right choice. Remus never questioned why Peter was so determined to learn more about his father, nor did he complain of boredom when Peter peppered the portraits with questions for the better half of an hour. Remus only pushed to return to the dormitory when curfew was falling, and when they returned he always gave Peter the space to process what he'd learned in peace.

The problem was that Peter's most burning questions had little to do with how Paul Pettigrew had been as a boy, and far more to do with Paul Pettigrew the man, and portraits hung in a school simply didn't have the answers Peter desired. He wanted to know what kind of man his father had been, how his parents had met, and the kind of life they'd led before tragedy cut it short. And most of all he wanted to know the why - why had Paul Pettigrew been targeted as he left his office in Diagon Alley that night 12 years ago? From everything he'd learned so far, his father had been well-liked and memorable enough to be recalled among thousands of students that passed through Hogwarts halls. So what happened? The question sometimes kept Peter up at night, so shaken he was by his lack of understanding.

He'd considered sharing his these matters with Remus, but he worried that if he told the story the ever-observant Remus would realize that Peter was scared - scared that whoever claimed his father's life might one day come for his mother's life, or his own. Logically Peter knew that if the murderer had truly been bent on eradicating the family he - or she - would have done it years ago, but Peter couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that came over him when he thought of his father.

He couldn't admit to Remus how terribly afraid he was of some far off, unlikely threat. He was a Gryffindor, like his father before him, as he'd learned. He must be courageous, or his friends may reject him. But sometimes that proved difficult for him.

"You want me to what?" He said to James one night.

"We just need you to distract McGonagall long enough for us to pocket a chick or two in tomorrow's class," James repeated. "We'd have preferred Remus of course, but he refuses." He looked over at the other boy, but Remus, as usual has his nose in a book and either didn't hear or was choosing to ignore them.

"But in McGonagall's class?" Peter said weakly. Their Head of House was easily one of the strictest teachers in the school, and also highly observant. To be implicated in any kind of troublemaking in her classroom was a guaranteed detention, but more than that, it would mean being on the wrong side of the professor for at least the remainder of the year. McGonagall was not one to forget, and Peter already suspected he wasn't one of her favorites. While James and Sirius might be troublemakers, they were also clever students that possessed a certain degree of charm that Peter was quite certain he lacked. He'd already been caught breaking the rules with them once. "What are you planning to do with the chicks?"

"Raise laying hens," Sirius responded sarcastically. "What does it matter, Petey? We just need you to ask her a question or two about the material to get her eyes off us."

But Peter never understood the material in Transfiguration in the first place, and was unlikely to come up with an intelligent question. "Why can't Remus just do it?"

"Because Remus doesn't want to be involved in the theft of livestock," Remus responded quietly from behind his book.

Peter glanced at Remus, bitter that the other boy was brave enough to turn down James and Sirius and put him in the position he found himself.

And Peter was not, which was James and Sirius secured six chicks that they later let loose at the Slytherin table at dinner. Peter had to admit it was funny to watch the Slytherins scramble to remove plates before they were contaminated by little chicken feet, but the amusement was short-lived.

"Mr. Black. Mr. Potter. Mr. Pettigrew." Professor McGonagall approached the Gryffindor table while Professor Slughorn vanished the chicks. Peter tried very hard not to cower.

"Hello Professor," Jame said pleasantly. "Spot of excitement over at the Slytherin table today?"

"Indeed," she said.

"Wonder how those little buggers got loose," Sirius said innocently.

"Mr. Black," the witch said, setting a stern gaze upon him. "Did you know the only two classes that used chicks in my lessons today were the Gryffindor and Slytherin first years?"

"Strange," Sirius said, still playing naive. "Perhaps one of your Slytherin students slipped a chick or two in their pocket, all in good fun of course, but failed to supervise it properly."

"On the contrary, Mr. Black, it seems I'm the one who failed to supervise properly," she said coldly.

"Now now, Professor," James said. "Don't be too hard on yourself. Those Slytherin firsties are a slippery bunch."

Peter was shaking. How could James and Sirius speak to their professor, who clearly had reasoned out what happened, so flippantly?

"I suppose in the future I'll have to be more careful to keep my eyes out for trouble," she said, still gazing at them. She nodded, then swept away.

"She knows!" Peter moaned.

"Relax Petey, she may suspect, but she has no proof!" Sirius said, grinning. "If she could prove it was us she would have already doled out the punishment."

"She has no proof yet," Remus said. "Perhaps it would be in your best interest to rid your pockets of the down from the chicks before sending them off to the house elves for laundering."

James and Sirius both turned to stare. "Lupin! Do my ears deceive me? Are you offering advice on how to avoid blame for a prank?"

"Forget I said anything," he muttered, returning to his meal.

James and Sirius burst out laughing, but Peter couldn't manage so much as a giggle. He was still thinking about the stern gaze of their Head of House, and wondering what would happen now that he was being lumped in with his talented but roguish friends. Throwing his lot in with them seemed a good idea from a social standpoint, but perhaps not so much in academic relations.

/

Sirius was in a poor mood that morning. He's received yet another letter from his mother decrying his latest detention report and threatening punishment upon his return home. He supposed most parents would punish their children for the amount of trouble he'd gotten himself into this year, but most parents would not spew insults and vitriol in their communications the way his mother did. He'd resigned himself to the fact that his placement in Gryffindor solidified the poor state of his relationship with his mother, but he still sometimes pined for the type of mother James had – the type who sent care packages and encouraging letters and invited her son's friends to stay the summer.

So it was a last straw when, while walking to History of Magic, Severus Snape bumped into Remus, sending his friend into a wall and causing him to drop his bag.

"You'll pay for that, Snivellus," Sirius growled whipping out his wand. " _Furnunculus_!"

"Sirius no!" Remus gasped, but the work was already done. Nasty, pus-filled boils were popping up all over Snape's ugly face. Other students began to point and laugh.

"Nice – that's one to permanently add to the repertoire," James commented.

"It was an accident!" Remus snapped as he scrambled to pick up the books that had fallen out of his bag.

"Bullocks," Sirius said, advancing on Snape. "This git specifically aimed for you, didn't he?"

"Did not, moron," Snape spit at him.

"See, Sirius?" Remus said. "That was completely unnecessary."

"He was bullying you," Sirius said. "It was completely necessary to teach him a lesson." He and

James had developed a bit of an overprotective streak when it came to Remus – ever since they discovered their friend's mother suffered a chronic condition that pulled him away from school once a month or so. Unlike Peter, Remus was not the type to inform his friends that something was wrong, and as a result, James and Sirius were watching closely for any signs of hostilities from the Slytherins. He wasn't going to let anyone torment Remus in the hallway, least of all a slimy toad like Snape.

"Even if he were to bully me -which he wasn't – I'd appreciate if you let me fight my own battles, thank you," Remus said cooly. "Come on Peter." He stomped off, leaving a confused Sirius and James standing in the hallway with Snape.

"I was just looking out," Sirius complained. He always felt he had to rush to the defense of Remus, who was usually quiet and non-confrontational, and Peter, who quite frankly lacked the magical skills and confidence to defend himself.

"Sev!" Lily Evans appeared from around the corner with Eliza Corsia. "What happened! You need to go to the hospital wing!"

Snape didn't say anything, but Lily took one look at the wand in Sirius' hand and he knew he was toast.

"Really, Black?" She turned on him in her trademark fury. "Do you, of all people, think it's funny, jinxing and hexing everyone you meet in the hallway?"

"I think he did your friend a favor, Evans," James said. "The boils distract from his hook nose."

"You two are disgusting," she told them. "Come on Sev, I'll walk you to the hospital wing."

"I'll take you to the hospital wing, Sev," James parroted in a high-pitched voice. "Maybe the matron has a cure for ugly."

"Shut your trap, Potter," Evans snapped. "You won't be talking like that when McGonagall has your friend in detention for a week."

"Ohhh, threatening me with a teacher, very scary," Sirius mocked her.

"Hmft. You two are so immature," she retorted. Finally, she grabbed Snape by the elbow and steered him away.

"What was all that about?" Eliza asked when the pair disappeared. "You two don't really go around hexing random people in the hallway, do you?"

"Of course not!" James exclaimed. "We were defending our friend's honor!"

She cocked her head. "The little one? Pettigrew? Was Snape bullying him?"

"Remus," James said. "Do us a favor and spread the word. Anyone that messes with one of us messes with all of us."

She giggled and shook her head. "Everyone in our year already knows that –Black and Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew, the inseparable crew."

"That sounds so corny," Sirius said. "We're going to have to work on the name."

Eliza giggled again. "Just promise me you won't use that hex on me, okay? That looked painful and gross."

"I would never raise my wand against a lady such as yourself," Sirius said dramatically. "Now, permit me to escort you to History of Magic." He held out his elbow for her. She giggled yet again and James made puking noises but Sirius ignored him. James still didn't appreciate the need to practice your game with the ladies, but Sirius did.

They walked into History of Magic and Sirius bowed as he dropped Eliza in her seat. He then walked over to his own beside Remus, who was looking at him anxiously.

"Sirius," the other boy said. "I'm sorry about what I said in the hallway. I know you meant well. But I wish you wouldn't cause a ruckus over me. It's not worth it."

"Of course it was worth it – that prat knocked into you," Sirius told him.

"It was an accident."

"I don't care," Sirius said stubbornly. "You could have been hurt."

Remus chuckled, defeated. "Okay," he said. "Thank you."

"That jinx was really cool!" Peter broke in from Remus' other side. "Can you teach me?"

"Of course, Petey," Sirius said as he put his feet up on his desk. His mood was improving after having a little fun with Snape, and the prospect of spreading his mischief-making knowledge along to Peter. He settled in for a nap – Professor Binns had the most boring class in all of Hogwarts – nothing exciting was likely to happen for the next two hours.

"Sirius. SIRIUS!" James was shaking him. "Wake up!"

"Five more minutes…." Sirius muttered.

"No, NOW!" James smacked him upside the head, rudely ending his slumber.

"Owww, what?" Sirius swatted back at him. He looked at the clock. "Class has barely begun!"

James pointed to the doorway, where an irate looking Professor McGonagall and a stern looking Madam Pomfrey were speaking with Professor Binns.

"Sod it, I thought I'd at least get a nap in first," Sirius grumbled when the adults turned his way.

"Sirius Black, come with me," Professor McGonagall said in her no-nonsense voice. Sirius was rather used to hearing it by now.

Sirius groaned inwardly and stood up. Another detention notice would be going home. But to his surprise, Remus stood with him.

"Professor?" Remus said in his soft voice. "Might I come along? I believe an explanation is in order."

McGonagall frowned. "Very well, Mr. Lupin, come along as well."

She and Madam Pomfrey led the boys out into the corridor.

"Miss Evans has informed me there was a little altercation in the hallway this morning," McGonagall began. "That ended with a student being covered in pus-covered boils, and you, Mr. Black, standing with your wand out."

Sirius shrugged, but before he could speak, Remus opened his mouth. "Professor, I'm afraid this whole misunderstanding is my fault," he said. "You see, I was walking with my nose in a book and my wand in the other hand when I bumped into Severus because I wasn't paying attention. At the moment I bumped him I was so startled I uttered the word I was reading out loud, and accidentally cast a spell."

Sirius felt his mouth fall open in shock. Remus Lupin – lying to a professor? Surely the world must be ending for such a thing to happen. He looked up to check – but no, the sky wasn't falling. Sirius appreciated the effort, but surely this was a rather weak attempt and McGonagall would see right through it.

The witch frowned. "What book would you be reading that had such a spell in it, Mr. Lupin?"

Sirius realized Remus was clutching a book, which he dutifully handed over to McGonagall. "Supplemental reading for Defense Against the Dark Arts, Professor."

"Hexes and Healing; A Beginner's Guide to Curing Casualties of Recreational Dueling," McGonagall read out loud. She was quiet for a moment. "So you mean to tell me you were irresponsible enough to cast a spell from this book entirely by accident?"

Remus hung his head and looked appropriately remorseful. "I get so absorbed in my books sometimes I forget the world around me," he said. Sirius knew that was true- sometimes late at night he heard gasps and strangled noises from behind Remus' curtains. When he and Peter pulled them back to see what was causing their friend distress, they'd found the boy reading by wand light. Remus had been reacting to a particularly dramatic moment from the book and entirely forgotten the others might hear him.

McGonagall frowned deeper and glanced at Madam Pomfrey. "I suppose that's believable, knowing your character. What do you think Poppy?"

The other witch glanced at Remus and nodded, and Sirius briefly wondered why McGonagall would defer to the matron for a question pertaining to a student's personality, particularly one in her own house.

"And how do you explain Miss Evans' witness account of Mr. Black having his wand out in a combative manner when she arrived?" McGonagall asked, distracting Sirius from that train of thought.

"I was afraid Snape would retaliate, Professor," Sirius said quickly. "I just wanted to be ready."

The witch looked between the two of them and sighed. "Ten points from Gryffindor for irresponsible magic," she told Remus. "You are no longer a young child who can skirt by on the excuse of age and ignorance when you fail to control yourself, Mr. Lupin. And Mr. Black, the appropriate reaction to a rouge hex is to call for a professor or staff member, not to pull out your wand in anticipation of retaliation."

"Yes Professor," both boys said in unison.

"Very well. You may return to class. Be more careful in the future, boys."

As they turned back into the room Sirius clapped Remus on the back. "You're bloody brilliant!" He said, meaning it. He was thrilled to have escaped another detention – this left ample opportunity for exploring the castle in the evening.

"You're just lucky I had the book on me," Remus told him. He looked bothered. "I've never lost house points before…"

"You'd more than make them up if you'd speak up in class, once in awhile instead of just whispering answers under your breath," Sirius teased him.

"I suppose that's true," Remus said. The boys sat back down – Professor Binns hadn't even paused to look at the door when they'd re-entered.

"Anyway, thanks for covering for me. Mum is still heated about my sorting, and all the other detention notices home. One right before the break wouldn't help."

"I imagine she would be," Remus said serenely, turning back to his notes. "Maybe you should put a little more thought into how to pull off your stunts without detection."

"You could help us again," Sirius said, more than willing to push the issue. "That attention to detail of yours would come in handy."

"Shhh…" Remus hushed him. "I'm trying to take notes on the Goblin Rebellions of 1202."

Sirius leaned back in his chair, his arms crossed casually behind his head. He could only imagine what the four of them would be capable of with Remus in on it.


	16. Differences of Opinion

"Well well, look who it is," James said in a tone that caused Remus to look up from his Transfiguration essay. Severus Snape had entered the library with Lily Evans.

"Oh James, please not here," Remus begged. The library was his happy place - a quiet spot full of books of spells and stories and histories that he could never get his hands on at the Muggle libraries growing up. The library was his sanctuary - a place where even James and Sirius knew better than to raise their voices. But the appearance of their favorite target may make his two rebellious friends forget about good behavior.

Sirius had dropped his quill and already whipped out his wand, but paused at Remus's words.

"But Lupin - he'd never expect an attack here - that's the brilliance of it!" He waved his wand excitedly, causing sparks to spurt out. He yelped and quickly shoved his wand back in his pocket to avoid the watchful eyes of Madam Pince.

Even if they hadn't been in the library Remus would have been uncomfortable with his friends' plans, but he probably wouldn't have spoken up. But the thought of being banned from his favorite place in the entire castle - the spot he would one day run to for comfort when his friends discovered his secret and wanted nothing more to do with him - forced him to open his mouth.

"But what if we get banned from the library?" He asked quietly. His two well-to-do friends, who grew up in wealthy wizarding families that lived in beautiful, permanent homes were not likely to understand the security the Hogwarts library gave him, and he felt rather silly. Sirius in particular often had a hard time relating to Remus' version of the world, as he took a lot of his own wealth and status for granted.

This weak argument surely wouldn't convince them to hold back - it might even annoy them enough to stop hanging out with him. Remus, the wet blanket, had no place in the thrilling world of James and Sirius, expert troublemakers. He felt his lower lip quiver slightly at the thought, but tried to rein his emotions in.

Then James said something extraordinary. "Stand down Black, you know how Remus feels about his books." James shoved his own hastily fetched wand back into his pocket. "If we got him banned from the library he might die."

Sirius looked disappointed but didn't argue. Remus suspected that if anyone other than James had demanded restraint of Sirius it wouldn't have had any effect, but Sirius held a respect for James that Remus doubted he had for anyone else in the world. Remus smiled at James gratefully, and the other boy shrugged and smiled back as if it were nothing.

It wasn't nothing, though. Remus had never had real friends before - ones that considered his feelings, or even ones that knew him well enough to even guess his feelings. He felt warm inside. The Christmas holidays were coming, and this year he would have someone to wish a Happy Christmas other than his mother and father. Several someones, in fact.

"All right but then you have to let me enchant the cream pies with that time-delayed exploding spell we found in that Charms book," Sirius said, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms, turning his head up slightly and looking down his nose at them as though daring them to argue. He looked every bit the rebellious adolescent in that position, with his wavy black hair falling smartly across his forehead and curling slightly at the nape of his neck. Remus often marveled at the fact that the cool Sirius Black and the clever James Potter wanted anything to do with the skinny boy with his nose in his books, but he was grateful. Still, he feared what a boy whose family hated anyone not pure blooded, and another who hated all things associated with the dark arts, would do when they one day discovered a werewolf in their midst.

"Charmed cream pies it is," James promised, oblivious of course to the torrent of thoughts running through Remus's mind. "I can't wait to see the look on Lucius Malfoy's face when he gets custard cream in that stupid hair of his."

Sirius chuckled at the image, then turned to Remus. "You about done with that essay?"

"Almost," Remus said. "But you don't have to wait on me."

"Nonsense," James said. "We never leave a good man behind!"

Sirius put his feet up on the large oak library table. "I'm going to nip a quick nap," he said. "Wake me whenever you're ready." Sirius had the uncanny ability to drop down anywhere and fall asleep.

"You could be working on your own essay, you know," Remus pointed out, but he knew trying to convince James and Sirius to do work before the last minute was a fruitless endeavor.

As expected, the other boys laughed. Remus shook his head and dipped his quill in ink to put the finishing touches on his work. Still, even if the other boys refused to work, it was nice to have company.

It was the last week of November, and Remus was not happy to be greeting December. There were two full moons due this year. He was trying to get as much work done ahead of the first as possible. He was also stressing about snow – if it snowed, he and Madam Pomfrey would leave footprints when they went down to the willow. And the thought of their footprints reminded Remus, for the first time in months, about the alleged footprints James claimed to have seen under the willow. He'd been so focused on hiding the true nature of his disappearances from his friends he'd forgotten to alert Madam Pomfrey about a possible security threat. What if someone had discovered how to freeze the willow? There were all manner of shortcuts and secret passages in Hogwarts – an enterprising student could be on the search for one at any time.

Remus needed to get through the first full moon undetected, then he could relax. The second full moon would fall over the holidays, and Remus would not have to worry about concealing his disappearance and possible injuries from his friends.

It felt disingenuous to be sitting there enjoying the favor of James and Sirius when he was keeping such secrets from them, but there was nothing to be done.

When Remus finished up and the boys headed back to the Common Room they were greeted by a breathless Peter Pettigrew.

"Where have you been?!" He exclaimed. "I've been waiting here for ages! I checked the Quidditch pitch, the Great Hall, the Owlery, the kitchens, the passage on the fourth floor…"

Sirius yawned and stretched. "The library, Petey."

Peter slapped his forehead theatrically. "Of course. I forgot Remus was with you."

"What was so important you went all around the castle searching for us?" James asked curiously.

"Oh...nothing...I was just wondering what you were up to…."

Sirius rolled his eyes, but James and Remus both laughed.

"Now that you're here I don't suppose anyone fancies a trip to the kitchens?" Peter asked, looking hopeful.

James glanced at Sirius, who shrugged. "I suppose I could go for some eggnog," James said.

And together the four boys headed back out the portrait hole.

/

"It's snowing!" James roared when he opened his eyes and looked out the window on a December Saturday morning. "Come on you lot, up and at 'em - let's go play in it!"

Sirius, who was normally the most difficult to remove from his bed, flew up so fast he became tangled in his bed hanging. "Did you say snow?" He asked as he struggled for freedom.

"I sure did, Black." James began rummaging through his drawers for his winter things. He pulled out a pair of golden dragonhide gloves, black and red snow boots and a matching hat lined with fur, and thermal underwear.

Peter poked his head out from between his bed hangings. "Can we build a snowman?"

"I want to build a snow-troll!" Sirius shouted excitedly, finally freed from the tangles of fabric and already shoving on a pair of pants that he'd somehow managed to unearth from the chaos under his bed.

"Remus, come on!" James said, shoving the curtain back. Remus was still entirely wrapped in his blankets all the way up to his chin and looked at James reproachfully.

"But it's warm here, and cold out there."

James paused. He knew he should go easy on Remus, who had come back from visiting his mother yet again just a few days prior and again looking rather ill himself. But snow was meant to be played in, and he would not leave Remus behind, even if he had to drag him out of bed.

"You won't be cold once we start running around. Come on Lupin, let's go!"

Sighing heavily, Remus began to emerge from his nest. "My boots aren't waterproof."

"No matter, we'll ask Prewett or one of the others to enchant them for you!" James said.

"Fine…"

True to his word, James rushed up to the seventh-year dormitory and banged on the door until a grumpy looking Gideon Prewett opened it and charmed Remus' boots.

"Wake me up this early on a Saturday again and I'll hex you to next Tuesday," he told James as he did so. James just grinned at the older boy as he made a mental note to learn the spell.

Thirty minutes later the boys were running gleefully through the snow. Sirius was wearing the Gryffindor things James had gifted him the month prior. The hat sat handsomely over his dark hair and his cheeks were red from the cold and James thought with amusement he looked rather like a painting his mother had hanging in the drawing room at home. Peter was wearing a grey and red hat with a ridiculous pompom on the top of it and mittens that seemed a little too large for effective snowball throwing, but he was laughing in delight as Sirius pelted him with snow all the same.

Even Remus, who'd insisted on wearing three pairs of socks and a muffler both around his neck and his ears, topped off with a flannel-lined hat, seemed to be enjoying the wonderland of winter weather as he worked on an intricate replica of Hagrid's cabin made of snow.

James was focusing his efforts on building a massive snowman. So far, he'd succeeded in creating a bottom snow boulder larger than himself and was planning to second one when he spotted a few of the Gryffindor first-year girls headed their way.

"Can we play?" James watched Mary MacDonald ask Remus a bit shyly. Remus glanced over his shoulder at James, who shrugged and nodded.

"Of course," Remus said, moving over to make space for her.

"That is massive," Eliza Corsica said, approaching James. "What are you making?"

"A snowgiant of course," he said. "Care to join?"

Eliza nodded but that left the third member of the group, Lily Evans, standing uncertainly by herself. Eliza looked between Lily and James with apprehension, and James knew she was thinking about the fair number of clashes he and the redhead shared over Snivellus Snape. But it was a beautiful winter day and the snowflakes falling onto LIly's hair were undoubtedly pretty, and James had no desire to ruin the morning over some Slytherin berk who wasn't even around at the moment.

"Come on Evans, you're no stranger to snow in the Midlands are you?" He waved her over, and to his surprise she came without argument.

"Is that the snowman's bottom half?" She asked curiously.

"Half? You underestimate me Evans. This is but the giant's big toe!"

She wrinkled her forehead, which James privately thought was rather cute, and stared up at the snow boulder. "Well, I suppose we have a lot of work to do then."

Eliza and James both grinned at each other. "Let's get to it then!"

The morning passed pleasantly. With a little help from their wands, James, Eliza and Lily created a snow giant nearly 13 feet tall.

James held his breath when Sirius pelted Evans with a snowball, but he was amused when rather than getting upset, the girl responded with a wicked grin and return fire.

Wet and shivering but glowing from the joy of play, the small group of Gryffindors headed inside for a hot cup of chocolate and a large lunch, the boys having skipped breakfast in their eagerness to get outside.

"You know, Evans isn't half bad when Snivellus isn't around," James commented to Sirius.

Sirius gave a noncommittal shrug. "She's got a wicked fastball."

James just chuckled. It had been the perfect morning. He'd caught himself looking at Lily quite a bit as they'd frolicked in the snow, but he wasn't sorry for it. He'd thought her a bit prissy and annoying before, but she'd just proven herself to be quite fun. He just couldn't understand why she hung around with Severus Snape. The fact that he was a Slytherin was bad enough, but he'd also taken to hanging out with the Lestrange and Malfoy pureblood squad.

James knew Lily was smart – her performance in class made that obvious, and he knew she'd been invited to the Slug Club parties he and Sirius kept blowing off. Maybe he could go to one and try to talk to her one-on-one, make her see reason.

"Do you suppose Evans reads the Daily Prophet?" James asked Sirius suddenly.

"Huh?"

"Evans – she's Muggleborn – so do you think she reads the Prophet or her local muggle paper?"

"She's a witch – she should read the Prophet," Sirius said. "What's going on in our world will effect Muggleborn witches and wizards more than Muggle news, unless they intend to give everything up after Hogwarts and return to Muggle living."

"Can you even do that?" James asked. "I'd assume that Muggles have their own system of education, right?"

Sirius shrugged. "Probably. And it seems a right waste to me. Though it would be cool to ride in a motorcar every day – don't you think?"

"I'd rather a broomstick," James told him.

"What about a flying car?"

"I think that falls under a misuse of Muggle artifacts," James said with a chuckle.

"But just imagine –the windows down, a pleasant amount of wind in your hair but without the cold sensation you get when you fly through the clouds…."

Without conscious effort, James wondered what Lily Evans' hair would look like blowing in the wind. Then he wondered what it would be like to touch it. It looked so soft and silky.

Oh no. James, for all his brilliance, had only just realized what he was thinking. He fancied Lily Evans.

/

Lily Evans was very pretty.

Peter Pettigrew may have only been 11, but he wasn't blind. Anyone with working eyes could tell that Lily Evans, with her dark red hair and striking green eyes, was an attractive girl. And because of this, she made him nervous. He'd wanted to join in on the snow giant with James and Eliza, but Lily had been over there, and he'd been too shy to include himself.

He was a bit resentful of this, for James was his friend, and Lily had just stolen him away. He didn't understand it - Lily didn't even like James - they were always bickering.

Peter supposed it was a sign of maturity that Lily was able to look past that and play in the snow with the boys that afternoon. But he was bitter. Sirius had chased him around with snowballs for a solid hour and a half - the boy had boundless amounts of energy. Peter had finally hidden behind Remus, who gave Sirius such a bone-chilling glare when he started to throw a snowball that the dark-haired boy had immediately dropped the icy weapon. Peter had never seen anything like it before, and burst out in hysterical laughter to the point that Mary MacDonald asked him if he needed to go to the hospital wing.

Peter liked Mary. She was pretty, but not as pretty as Lily, and not nearly as scary. He'd settled for Mary's company over James. He was too young for girls of course, but he found himself watching the snow fall onto her curly blonde hair as if mesmerized. She had a pretty laugh, which she offered freely every time he made a joke, as if she actually found him funny.

All of this left him with plenty to ponder over lunch. The house elves must have realized the children would be out in the snow, for the table was full of steaming comfort foods perfect for warming up after spending a morning soaked with snow and sweat.

Peter dug into a chicken and mushroom hand pie with gusto, enjoying the flavor and the way the warmth escaped from the pie onto his tongue as he took a bite.

"So, what are everyone's plans for the holidays?" James asked.

Sirius groaned. "Must we talk about it? It will be all stuffy parties in stiff dress robes for me. Mum will want to parade me around plenty of pureblood functions as punishment for my sorting."

"It will just be mother and father at home for me," Remus said. "I'm looking forward to catching up on my reading."

"You mean you don't do enough reading here?" Sirius teased.

"My cousins will be visiting from France," Peter told them. "I'm so excited - they'll want to know all about Hogwarts."

James nodded, though he didn't look entirely satisfied with their answers. "Well, I'm going to ask my mother about the Podmores. I think she'll give me a straighter answer about everything that's going on if I ask in person."

Peter's heart sank. It had been a while since he'd been thrust into a conversation about the scary news that so often graced the pages of the Daily Prophet. He'd thought his three friends had finally lost interest and started acting like normal 11-year-old boys. Holidays should be about family and food and presents - he didn't want to discuss murder and mayhem as part of Christmas.

"Good thought, Potter," Sirius said. "Perhaps I'll hear something at home as well. My grandfather is always blathering on about politics at the dinner table."

"I suppose I could ask father about things as well," Remus said.

"No," Peter sad, surprising himself. The other three turned, questioning looks on their faces.

"No what, Petey?" James asked.

"Remus shouldn't ask his father about such unpleasant things. Not on Christmas. And James, you shouldn't bring it up either. The Podmores were your mother's friends. Why would she want to talk about them?

"So we shouldn't talk about things just because they make people uncomfortable, or unhappy?" Sirius snapped back. "Get your head out of the sand, Peter. We need to know what's going on."

"No, Sirius, we don't," Peter snapped back. "You lot are so determined to figure out what's going on. But what does it matter? It's not like we can do anything about it. It's up to the adults to figure things out! We're just kids!"

"Petey -" James began, but Sirius cut him off.

"I don't trust the adults, and neither should you," Sirius growled, standing up and leaning over the table toward Peter. "You need to learn to do things for yourself. There's some dark stuff out there. Don't be another soft-minded idiot trying to pretend it's not happening."

Sirius, sit down, you're yelling," Remus cut in. "And Peter has a point. We are just kids."

"You don't have to ask about anything if you don't want to, Petey," James said soothingly. "I wasn't asking that."

"Good, because I won't," Peter said, crossing his arms. He was shaking. He wasn't sure what had come over him, arguing with his friends like that. And Sirius' words had been a bit cruel. Why were his friends so intent on acting older than they were? And what were they worried about, anyway? Surely they were perfectly safe with their parents, or here at Hogwarts. Pureblood fanatics weren't going to come knocking on the castle doors.

"Everything all right here?" Kingsley Shacklebolt had appeared next to Sirius, his shrewd eyes analyzing the situation. Sirius had taken his seat, but he was glaring at Peter with his cold grey eyes, a look usually reserved for Slytherins.

"Just a small difference of opinion," James said quickly as Remus shot Sirius another warning look.

Lily Evans was looking over at them with a confused look on her face. For some reason, that irritated Peter even more. Abruptly he stood up, shoving the bench back forcefully and nearly sending Remus toppling over.

"I'm going to go for a walk," he said, turning his back on the others and making for the Entrance Hall. He heard James calling after him, but he ignored him.

It was a perfectly good way to ruin a day, he thought grumpily.

"Peter, wait!"

He turned and was surprised as anything to see Lily Evans chasing after him.

"Are you okay?" She asked. "Was Black bullying you?"

"You're not a prefect, you know," he told her, too heated from the argument with his friends to remember to feel nervous in her presence. "You don't need to come checking up on me."

"I - I was just trying to be helpful," Lily said, sounding hurt.

"I don't need your help," Peter grumbled, though he was already ashamed of treating her so rudely. She'd come to check on him – she didn't deserve to be berated like that. "Sirius wasn't bullying me. It was a difference of opinion." He borrowed James' phrase. Difference of opinion was right. Peter often had a hard time understanding where Sirius and James were coming from – their wealthy pureblood upbringings were different from his own. But whereas James was the type to patiently explain, Sirius expected people to read his mind, and sometimes lashed out with harsh words when you didn't immediately relate.

"Oh...okay then." Lily looked as though she wasn't sure what to say next. "Well, if you ever need someone to talk to…."

"I have James and Remus for that," Peter told her. He'd just been rude again. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate the offer, it was that he knew once the adrenaline stopped pumping he wouldn't have the confidence to speak with her again.

"Right then. I'll just go."

Peter watched as she turned and headed back into the Great Hall. He knew he could follow and his friends would welcome him back - well, James and Remus certainly would. But he was sufficiently miserable about the way he'd talked to the others, including Lily. He'd ruined what had started as a promising day. He decided to head up to the Common Room to wallow in self-pity instead.

No matter what, he never seemed to stack up against his friends. James and Sirius were the best of friends, tighter than anyone else. But they never seemed to leave Remus behind – they would even sit in the library keeping him company while Peter wandered around aimlessly. And Sirius always seemed to be crawling into other people's beds – it was weird, but some part of Peter was rather upset he'd never been given the honor of a bed-buddy.

He never felt good enough. He never was good enough.

/

"Go apologize to Peter, Black," James ordered once he convinced Shacklebolt there was no need for prefect intervention.

"Apologize for what? He was the one acting like an arse," Sirius snapped. He had not been impressed with Peter's attitude from the beginning. Gryffindors shouldn't be afraid to talk about unpleasant things - they should be ready to take action, not hide behind others or feeble excuses about being too young to be concerned.

"You jumped down his throat just because he voiced an opinion," James told him.

"It's a stupid opinion," Sirius said.

"Everyone is entitled to their opinion," Remus weighed in. "And you should respect that, especially between friends."

"Bullocks. What if his opinion was that we should slaughter all the Mudbloods -"

"Sirius!" Remus gasped.

"I'm just using the word for effect," he said impatiently. "But tell me - if Peter thought we should just slaughter all the Muggleborns, should I respect that opinion?"

"That's a far more dramatic misalignment of principles than the topic at hand," James insisted.

"Peter is just scared," Remus said quietly. "It's normal to be scared of things like death and murder."

"It's not like he knows any of the people we're read about," Sirius said, refusing to admit that he could see what Remus and James were getting at. "He can't just run through life expecting adults to always do the right thing for him. Parents won't always protect you."

"They certainly try," Remus said. "Even if they can't shield us from everything, they try."

"Maybe yours do," Sirius grumbled. He thought of his mother's raging Howlers and shivered involuntarily.

"Sirius…" Remus was staring at him with those deep, sad eyes and Sirius knew his sensitive friend was pitying him. He hated being pitied.

"This is bloody ridiculous," James burst out. "Peter is a good friend to you - even if he is a little naive - go apologize for being an arse."

"He's an annoying tag-along," Sirius grumbled, though he knew that was not entirely true, thinking of the dungbombs Peter had taken to time to procure for him as a birthday present.

"Black!" Another voice entered the conversation. "Where do you get off yelling at Pettigrew like that?" Lily Evans had returned. "What were you boys even talking about?"

"Oh boy, not you too Evans," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "Why don't any of you understand how important it is that he learns to think independently - to not scare over the little things and not get believe every piece of nonsense he's fed?"

"Whatever do you mean?" Evans asked.

Sirius turned on her. "You're supposed to be smart. Don't you wonder about all the stories in the Daily Prophet?"

"I don't read the Prophet - mum sends the Muggle paper from home sometimes…" Lily said, looking confused. Sirius scoffed.

"You should really read the Prophet, Evans," James told her. "Especially as a Muggleborn."

"Sirius, no one is arguing that it's not good to think independently," Remus said reasonably. "But you approached the conversation all wrong."

Sirius sighed dramatically in defeat. It wasn't their fault - they weren't surrounded by all the ugly murmurings of pureblood ideology at home. He was the odd man out. It meant more to him than it meant to them, at least right now. But he had an idea.

"I will go apologize if Remus promises to ask his dad about the stories in the Prophet, and Evans promises to start reading it, and talking about it with her friends," he told them.

"I can do that," Remus said quickly.

"Where can I get a copy of the Prophet?" Lily asked.

"I'll buy you a subscription myself if you promise to read it," Sirius told her. James glanced at him as if to ask a subtle question, but Sirius ignored him.

She raised an eyebrow, the same way James often did when he was skeptical. But Sirius knew she was a woman of her word, and she answered him. "Okay then."

"Now go find Peter, for the love of all things magical," James told him.

"Fine." Sirius stood up, shoved his hands in his pockets, and headed for the Gryffindor Common Room. Someday, his friends would understand how important it was not to trust everything you heard.

As Sirius had expected, Peter had retreated to the dormitory.

"Petey," he called loudly, pushing the boy's bed curtains aside and plopping on the mattress without invitation. "I've come to apologize."

Peter, who'd been curled up on the bed, sat up looked him up and down for a moment. "By invading my personal space?"

"Well…yes," Sirius said. "Look, come on, I just want you to think – really think – about what we're reading in the paper. News, politics – Merlin knows they're boring, but they're also important."

"Mom turns off the news when it comes on the WWN," Peter told him. "She says I'm too young to worry over such unpleasantness."

Sirius resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "Petey, I'm sure your mum is lovely and all, but shielding you from unpleasantness all the time just means you won't be able to handle it when it's inescapable someday." For Sirius, there was never any escape. He was surrounded by unpleasant things all the time. Talks of Muggleborn registries and euthanizing werewolves and poisoning vampire with garlic were all regular talk at his dinner table. And while he hadn't been home to hear his family talk about the murders in the paper, he could just imagine his mother's words.

" _Well, it's a bit barbaric, but at least someone has the right idea…"_

He hadn't thought much of it until he'd reached Hogwarts, but in just a few shorts months he'd realized just how unpleasant his home life really was. Coming to Gryffindor, hearing about the lives of other purebloods like James Potter and seeing the long, loving letters Mrs. Lupin wrote Remus had been eye-opening. He wasn't willing to tell Peter any of this, however. He would try to make him understand anyway.

"But someday is so far off," Peter complained.

"Is it though?" Sirius responded.

"You're rubbish at apologizes," Peter told him.

Sirius chuckled. "Are you even surprised by that?"

Peter finally cracked a grin. "No, I guess not."

"So are we good? Because if we're not I'm pretty sure mother hen Potter will strap me up by the ankles and make me think about what I've done." James Potter did not angry easily, but when he did he was a force even Sirius had a hard time contending with.

Peter laughed. "Can we just…not ruin fun days by talking about awful things? Can we save those conversations for more average days?"

"Technically, James started all this," Sirius shot back. "But fine, I'll try not to kill the mood in the future."

"Thank you."

Sirius held out a hand. "Good?"

Peter took it. "Good."

But Sirius wasn't really happy with the outcome of the conversation. James and Remus seemed to understand the significance of current events. If Peter understood, he was doing a very good job of ignoring the implications. Someday, that attitude would blow up in his face.


	17. Home for the Holidays

Sirius sighed and glanced out the window of the Hogwarts Express, tuning out the animated conversation between James and Peter. The others were excited for the holidays, excited to go home. James Potter would be greeted with great enthusiasm by his parents of course, and their joy would only increase when they saw the marks their son was bringing home. James was an easy mix of clever and fun, which is what drew Sirius to the other boy in the first place. Sirius was quite sure his friend would be showered with gifts aplenty on Christmas Day, despite the rather long list of detentions sprinkled throughout the term.

Peter's family would be equally warm and excited for their son's return, despite the fact that the boy was bringing home poor marks in nearly every subject. Sirius got the distinct impression that Peter's mother was the sort that had that unconditional pride in her son that could not be marred by any small failures.

Sirius glanced at Remus, who was reading quietly while munching absentmindedly on chocolate frogs. Remus had seemed more subdued than the others about the trip home for the holiday. Sirius wondered fleetingly if all was well at his observant, bookish friend's home. The boy's repeated disappearances throughout the term had seemed suspicious, but at the moment Sirius lacked the energy to speculate about that. Still, Remus was bringing home some of the best marks in the entire first-year class, so Sirius imagined the Lupins would be pleased with their son.

He sighed again and ran a hand anxiously through his hair. He also had top marks, but he suspected it wouldn't matter much. As if his parents' disappointment that he hadn't been sorted into Slytherin wasn't enough, he'd been sorted into Gryffindor. He might have skated by with just disappointment if he'd made it into Ravenclaw, perhaps they would have simply been embarrassed if he'd been a Hufflepuff, but no. The frequent detentions wouldn't help him, but he couldn't help rebelling at every opportunity - he'd been doing it at home for so long, why would Hogwarts be any different.

No, he knew the only thing that awaited him was a slow, simmering rage that his mother had been burning with since September.

He sighed a third time, prompting James to pause mid-word and look over at him. "You okay Sirius?" he asked, cocking his head to the side. Peter, who had been conversing with James in that hungry for attention way that always annoyed Sirius, turned to look curiously.

James' question drew Remus away from book and the sandy-haired boy looked over as well.

"'S nothing," Sirius muttered.

James raised his eyebrows. "Doesn't seem like nothing."

For a moment, Sirius debated sharing his concerns with his friend. But then he thought again about the happy greeting James would receive from his doting parents, and the fact that his relationship with Peter was rocky at the moment, and decided he wasn't up to sharing his feelings.

"Just tired," he said, trying to make his voice sound airy and nonchalant.

James pursed his lips as if he didn't believe him, but dropped the matter and turned back to Peter. Sirius turned back to the window, but he could feel Remus' eyes in the back of his head regarding him thoughtfully.

It wouldn't be that bad, Sirius reasoned with himself. Some nasty words, maybe a slap or two – that's all his mother really offered. As a child this seemed terrifying, but Sirius was swiftly growing and figured he could take a hit or two without falling to the ground anymore. Besides, his mother never hit hard enough to leave marks. The Black family had a reputation to uphold, after all. By the time the train stopped he'd steeled himself for the inevitable encounter and was ready.

"Welp, have a brilliant holiday then," he said to his friends, dragging his trunk down with one graceful motion. He slipped out of the compartment and hopped off the train as it was practically still rolling into the station. He didn't want to look his friends in the eye – he was afraid clever James or observant Remus would see right through him. But even as he ran, he heard James and Remus call confused well-wishes after him, and it made him brave.

Walburga Black was waiting on the platform, but his father was nowhere in sight. Sirius wasn't sure whether this was a good sign or a bad one – two parents suggested gravity in the situation, but Sirius knew his mother had the sharper tongue and the crueler hand.

"Well if it isn't the shame of my flesh," she hissed as he approached. Sirius felt his shoulders tense and he tried to hold himself upright.

"Hello mother," he said stoically. A little head popped out from behind his mother's leg and Sirius softened the tiniest bit. "Hello Reggie," he said more kindly.

"Hullo Sirius!" His little brother said excitedly. "We'll play Gobstones and Exploding Snap this holiday, won't we?"

"Whatever you want," Sirius said, glancing at his mother's face for any hint of objection that might betray what she had in store for him. But Walburga only sniffed.

His mother turned without another word and began walking through the crowd, clearly expecting the boys to follow without being commanded. Sighing once more, Sirius lugged the heavy trunk over to a carriage and followed, Regulus bouncing eagerly behind, peppering him with questions about school.

His mother took them home by Apparition as soon as they walked safely passed the Muggles in the station. Sirius's mother detested walking through Muggle London, and detested the Muggle neighborhood that cropped up around 12 Grimmauld Place through the years.

Sirius's mother walked inside, Regulus on her heels. Sirius moved more slowly, dragging along his heavy trunk.

"Kreacher!" He called grumpily as he entered the threshold.

With a loud crack, the house elf appeared, glowering at Sirius as he always did. "Hello mistress," Kreacher said, turning to Walburga and bowing deeply. "How may Kreacher serve?" he asked her, deliberately ignoring Sirius even though he was the one who'd called.

"Take the luggage upstairs," Walburga said, waving a hand carelessly. "Regulus, run along," she said in a gentle voice she reserved for her youngest son. Sirius tensed, knowing something was coming but not sure what. The younger boy shot his brother a pitying look and minded his mother.

The older Black brother took a deep breath and met his mother's eyes.

"Come to the parlor," she ordered. He obeyed, trying to ignore the frowns of disapproval from the family portraits and following his mother into the room filled with velvet-covered furniture and heavy drapes. In Sirius's opinion it was hideously old and out of style, but Walburga liked to emphasize that this was the ancestral home of the great pureblood Black family, which spanned back hundreds of years. The furniture was probably that old.

Walburga sat herself in a particularly ugly chair and glared at her eldest son. "I've been considering your punishment long and hard," she said in an uncharacteristically calm voice.

Sirius remained silent, unsure of what reaction she was looking for.

"For my son, the Black family heir, with beautiful pure blood, to be sorted into that Mudblood loving, bloody disgusting house…" she was picking up speed now. "To associate with such FILTH…AND TO TOP IT OFF, TO RAKE UP DETENTIONS LIKE A COMMON FOOL…YOU BRING SHAME TO THIS FAMILY…HOW DARE YOU BEFOUL THIS HOUSE…HOW DARE YOU MAKE YOURSELF LOOK A BLOODY, MUDBLOOD-LOVING…"

"But Mum…" Sirius said weakly. "I'm not a fool…look at my marks…"

"NO CHILD OF MINE WILL CONTINUE THIS WAY!" She shrieked, ignoring his weak protests. "I WILL NOT LET THIS BEHAVIOR CONTINUE…." She raised a hand, and Sirius looked at the floor, willing himself to take the hit without making a sound. He would be brave, like the Gryffindor he was.

"CRUCIO!"

What?! Sirius scarcely had a second to register that his mother cast a spell before the worst pain he'd ever experienced in his life sprang up and rushed through his entire body. All thoughts of taking the punishment silently were forgotten as he screamed out in agony. This was worse, so much worse than ever before. The pain of an open-handed slap across his face or his father's fist against his ribs felt like nothing. The occasional bruise he'd obtained from routine discipline after disobedience did not hold a candle to this. He could not believe a mother could subject her child to this.

And at once, the pain lifted. He gasped, and realized he had fallen to his hands and knees and was staring at the wool rug. He looked up at his mother in horror and disbelief.

"It seems previous methods of punishment had no effect on you," she said, again using her scary calm voice. "So I've moved to something more drastic."

"Mum…please…" he whimpered, knowing that this sign of weakness would only make the punishment worse. Blacks don't grovel. Blacks don't cry.

She leveled her wand again and looked at him with cold, loveless eyes. "CRUCIO."

Sirius screamed.

/

Remus was happy to be home for the holidays, even with the threat of the transformation looming ahead at New Year's. Father had met him at the train - there was no sense in his Mother driving all that way when Father could Apparate them home so easily.

He burst through the front door of the house with a reckless abandon he never showed at school. "Mother!" He said, running up and giving her a tight hug.

"Hello, my sweet boy," she said, hugging him back and planting a kiss on the top of his head. "How was the train ride?"

"Just fine, I read mostly, though James and Peter dragged me into a game of Exploding Snap toward the end," he told her.

His father came through the door behind with his trunk, which was only half-full as he would only be home for a little under a month. "Remus, I'm going to put this upstairs then you, your mother and I are all going to enjoy a nice cup of cocoa and you're going to tell us all about school."

"Of course!" Remus said nodding. He released his mother and headed to the kitchen to get out some mugs.

A few minutes later his mother was preparing the cocoa on the stove while he gave a detailed account of his term to his parents.

"There are a lot of students in Gryffindor this year - two dormitories worth -, but only three other boys in my dormitory - James, Peter and Sirius, and we've become good friends," he said, talking quickly in his excitement. "They think I'm rather witty - imagine that! Sirius and James are a bit rowdy - they drive the professors a bit up a wall I'm afraid - but they're both so clever they make up for it. Sirius can just see someone else perform a spell once and then pull it off himself - and James can transfigure just about anything you put in front of him - in his first year! And Peter - he's not as boisterous as the other two, but he says the funniest things, and he's excellent at chess. Father - we'll have to play to see if I've improved - I've been playing with Peter quite a bit."

"Your friends sound lovely, dear," Hope said, smiling.

"What are their surnames? I only ask because I'm curious if I've ever met any of their parents - the ministry is a bit of a small world."

"James Potter, Sirius Black, and Peter Pettigrew," Remus told him.

"Black?" His father looked surprised. "They always wind up in Slytherin, don't they?"

"Usually," Remus said, remembering what Sirius had told him. "Sirius is a bit of an anomaly. His cousins were rather shocked, and he had a hard time of it for a bit - his mother was rather displeased." Remus spoke before realizing Sirius may not want him gossiping about those problems, but these were his parents - he had no secrets from them.

"Do you know his mother's first name?" His father asked. "I went to school with Orion and Alphard Black."

"Alphard is Sirius's uncle, on his mother's side I think," Remus said, remembering several brief mentions of the man. "And I think Orion is his father."

"You must be mistaken dear, that would make her a Black by blood, not marriage," Hope broke in.

"No, he's probably right," Lyall said. "Some of these pureblood families have a curious habit of marrying their cousins." He frowned. "I hope this boy isn't spewing out hateful pureblood ideology - that's not the type of person you should have as a friend."

Remus shook his head as he held up his mug for his mother to fill. "Sirius isn't like that," he told him. "I think…" he hesitated, for what he was about to say was only a theory, but he decided to plow forward. "I think that's part of the reason he wound up in Gryffindor, and why it's been so difficult for him. I get the impression Sirius clashes with his parents on the subject quite a bit."

Lyall nodded as his wife filled his mug and then her own. "Well, I suppose that's a good thing, though rather tough on a child." He looked rather sad. "Sometimes it's very hard to break away from the ideas and prejudices you're taught as a young person, until you're forced to face the damage those prejudices can do."

Remus didn't respond for a moment, unsure of to what his father was referring. His mother had reached over to squeeze her husband's free hand, as though comforting him for some event Remus didn't understand. But Remus' mother and father were the most open-minded people he knew - they'd mixed Muggle and wizarding worlds to make a family - they were raising a werewolf as a son, for Merlin's sake.

He decided to brush the moment off for now, too eager to continue speaking about school. "I've done quite well in classes so far," he said, pulling his progress report out of his pocket. He knew they were sent directly to parents as well, but he wanted to show it off.

"Remus, this is excellent," his mother said, scanning the parchment.

"I'm top of the class in everything but Potions - Lily Evans is far too good to unseat, and Severus Snape is also quite talented," he told them. "But I'm top in everything else - I cover all the material in the book ahead so I'm prepared in class, and I've done quite well in the practicals." It was the least he could do, after all, in exchange for the wonderful gift he'd been given in attending Hogwarts.

"This is truly impressive," Lyall said, reading over his wife's shoulder. "You must get that studious nature from your mother - I certainly didn't discover my inner student until third or fourth year."

Remus laughed.

"Although it says here you could participate more in class," Hope said. "Honey, are you…" she stopped for a moment. "Are you nervous about drawing attention to yourself?"

As always, his mother hit the nail on the head, reading into the situation perfectly. "I thought if I didn't participate too much in class, it would be less noticeable when I'm gone…" he admitted.

His father's face fell. "Remus, you mustn't let something like that prevent you from getting the most out of your education!"

"But if someone picks up on the fact that I'm often out of class…"

"If they're going to pick up on it, there's nothing you can do about that," his father said. "Dumbledore has assured me he has contingency plans in place were anyone to become suspicious."

"Really?" Remus had not been aware of that. "Like what?"

"That is for the adults to worry about," his father said. "You must focus on doing what you can to keep your secret safe, but not at the expense of your education. I want you to have the very best you can get."

"Quite right," his mother agreed. "But really, Remus, these grades are excellent - I think it calls for celebration." Her eyes twinkled.

"But we'll be celebrating Christmas in just a bit - there's no need -"

"Tosh. My son has brought home an excellent term report, and I couldn't be more proud. This calls for a special dinner, I think."

"No, mother, don't go through the trouble - "

"Hush," she told him. "Now, I know you'll want something chocolate for pudding of course, but what would you like for the main course?"

"I really don't need anything special," he said.

"Best just give in to her, Remus," his father said conspiratorially. "You'll never talk a determined woman out of her plan."

"Well…" Hogwarts served great meals, but it did get repetitive. When his parents were taking him all over the world in hope of a cure, they tried to ease his suffering by offering him all manner of the local foods - delicious pasta fagioli and pizzagenia in Italy one Easter - kalinti in Morocco - schnitzel roulade in Vienna - paella in Spain - and Remus had quite the palate. "Perhaps garbure with garlic toast?" The French dish was warm and comforting for the winter, but most of the ingredients would be easy to find at the British market, and he knew his mother had made it before.

"A delicious choice," she said with a nod. "I'll run out to the store once we finish our chocolate."

"Thank you," Remus said, happy to have brought home something that made his parents proud. A year ago he wouldn't have imagined the scene possible.

"So, what kinds of things do you like to do with your friends?" His father asked, and Remus began entertaining them with tales from school once again.

/

Christmas at the Pettigrew household was always an exciting affair. Peter's aunts and uncles from his mother's side always came with their children on Christmas Eve, filling the normally rather quiet house with riotous energy and good cheer. The one set, who lived just a town over, would go home for the night and return the following morning, but Uncle Ed and his sons Joseph and Nicholas would stay the night. The cousins would all bunk up in Peter's room. Joseph and Nicholas attended Beauxbatons and were years ahead of Peter, but this year Peter was able to keep up with the conversation when it wandered into magical territory.

"I've really been enjoying Herbology so far," Peter told his cousins once they settled in after a delicious Christmas Eve meal of arugula salad, cold roast beef and tomatoes with pudding for dessert. The bigger meal, with multiple courses and a great roast goose, would be tomorrow. "Of course first years don't deal with the dangerous plants much just yet - it's mostly tending to things like dittany and shrivelfig."

"I prefer Transfiguration myself," Nick said. "We have lovely grounds but our greenhouses are a bit lacking."

"Is it true that Hogwarts just acquired a Whomping Willow?" Joseph asked curiously. "My penfriend mentioned it but didn't offer any details."

"Oh yes, you'll not be wanting to get anywhere near the willow," Peter told them. "James and Sirius have tried a few times, but Sirius got terribly upset when he lost a chunk of hair so that ended that."

"You never tried?" Joseph asked. "I would have thought as Uncle Paul's son you'd be raring for a little risk."

Peter, surprised by the sudden casual mention of his father, stared at the floor. Joseph was 16 and had some vague memories of the father Peter had never met. Peter also suspected that outside his own home the family spoke about Paul Pettigrew rather more casually than they ever would around Peter's mother."

"Joey!" Nick elbowed his brother roughly. "What a thing to say. You know Auntie Mildred doesn't like to talk about Uncle Paul."

"Oh Merlin, I forgot. I'm sorry Peter," Joseph said.

"It's okay," Peter said. "I've actually been trying to find out a bit about Dad at school." He puffed out his chest. "You know I was sorted into Gryffindor, same as him?"

"Oh yeah?" Joseph smiled at him. "That's great!"

"Dad says your father used to get into all kinds of mischief with his school friends - did you know that?" Nick asked.

"The portrait of the Fat Lady that guards Gryffindor tower told me," Peter said grinning. "She says me and my friends rather remind her of Dad."

"That's great Peter." Joseph ruffled his hair. "Have you tried bringing it up with your mom at all? She might enjoy hearing that."

"Oh no, I can't bring it up to mom," Peter said seriously. "Especially at Christmas."

Nick frowned. "I think she'd be proud to find out that her son is growing up to be like his father." Nick, at 14, didn't have clear memories of Paul, but he'd often heard his father speak of the man, and it was complimentary.

"But she's so happy this time of year. I don't want to make her sad," Peter argued. He knew his cousins meant well, but both of their parents were alive. They didn't understand what it was like to live in a home minus one.

"Maybe broach the topic after holidays, then," Joseph said. "Now, tell me more about Hogwarts. What's the castle like?"

But the next day, after everyone left stuffed with goose and potatoes and delicious Christmas pudding and Peter settled into the sitting room with his mother, he decided he would in fact broach the topic.

"Mom," He said to the woman, who was relaxing on the couch with her feet up on the ottoman. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course dear," she said.

"Can you tell me a little bit about Dad?" He rushed the question out then stared as his twiddling thumbs, unwilling to see the expression on his mother's face when she heard the words.

His mother was silent for several moments. "Why?" She asked finally.

"Well, you know, being at Hogwarts, I've been hearing little things about him," Peter said carefully. "Some of the portraits remember him quite well, and one of the house elves says I look very much like him."

"You do," his mother said quietly. "You do…" She sighed. "What would you like to know?"

Peter finally dared to look up at her. His mother's face was tight and drawn, a sharp contrast to the beaming expression she'd worn surrounded by her family earlier in the day. Peter felt badly for making her suffer so, but he also felt he deserved some answers.

"Just….anything you'll tell me," he whispered, though that wasn't entirely true. He had some specific questions, but he wasn't willing to dig the knife any further into his mother's heart at the moment. "Anything you want to talk about, Mommy."

His last word seemed to bring her back to life slightly, and a small smile tugged at her lips. "Ok. Come here." She patted the spot on the couch next to her, and Peter scrambled up.

"Well, your father and I knew each other from Hogwarts, but it wasn't until we graduated that we began spending any real time together…."

/

Something wasn't right.

James couldn't put his finger on it, but he could feel it. Despite a cheery letter from Sirius describing in great detail how morbidly boring his family's Christmas dinner was, James felt something was off. It was the first letter he'd received from Sirius all holiday, despite sending one literally every day. Remus had written back quite often and even Peter had troubled himself with a few letters. James knew Sirius was full of far too much energy to sit down long enough to write long, witty letters like Lupin, but he'd expected better.

And then there was the letter itself. Sirius made mention of his mother and father of course, his brother Regulus, and his cousins Bellatrix, Narcissa and Andromeda. He of course mentioned his uncle Alphard, and another aunt and uncle. On the surface it was a perfectly normal letter. But something wasn't right.

For one thing, Sirius' handwriting was unusually messy, like he was writing with a particularly dull quill, or his hand was shaking while he wrote. Very unlike Sirius. Being raised in the aristocratic Black family left the boy with an effortless script that looked elegant even when Sirius was scribbling furiously to finish an essay two hours before it was due.

For another thing, Sirius hated Bellatrix. James couldn't see why he even bothered to include mention of her in the letter unless she'd done something particularly heinous or embarrassing. Yet Sirius had written several menial sentences about her before detailing how Andromeda sassed his mother for cursing half-breeds during a tirade at dinner.

And of course there was the fact that this was the first letter James had received all holiday, despite Sirius's eager exclamations that he would write often to distract himself from his terrible family.

James frowned and wrinkled his forehead. Something wasn't quite right. He wished Remus was there – the other boy was painstakingly logical and may have been able to deduce something that James had overlooked.

Duh. James could simply write to Remus about it – and send along the letter from Sirius for careful analysis. Remus would surely be able to figure out the mystery.

Rushing over to the handsome desk in his bedroom, James eagerly ripped a piece of parchment, grabbed a quill, and began a letter to Remus.

Feeling better once he sent the communication off, he wandered downstairs and found his mother relaxing by the fire, a pair of enchanted knitting needles working furiously beside her.

"Hullo Mum," James said, hopping up on the couch next to her. She smiled.

"Hello my pet," she responded. "What are you up to?"

"Nothing really," he said. "What are you making?"

"A few sweaters for dear Sturgis and the children," she said, frowning. "They spent Christmas with the McKinnons and Ava tells me he's managing best he can - but two young children sprung on him like that - the poor boy is barely 20…."

James nodded seriously. This was an opportunity he'd been waiting for. "Mum…" he hesitated before asking the question - if he wasn't careful about how he phrased it, his mother would not answer. "Why would someone attack a nice family like the Podmores?"

His mother turned to look into his hazel eyes with her own green ones, and sighed. "The Prophet has been publishing all manner of outlandish things about the situation, which I'm sure you've read at this point."

"Technically it was Remus who read about it," James said, flashing his mother a grin to keep her relaxed.

She gave a thin smile. "Sometimes, love, politics turn ugly. The Podmores, wonderful people they were...they refused to see just how ugly things could get."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean the Podmores have always been vocal about the mixing of magical and Muggle blood. They believe cutting ourselves off from the Muggle world is a mistake, and though they upheld the International Statute of Secrecy because it is law, they were always working to change it." She paused, as if collecting herself, then reached out and gently stroked James' head. "They believed what they were doing was right, but refused to take steps to protect themselves from those who may have disagreed."

"Such as?"

His mother sniffed. "People like Abraxas Malfoy and Daedalus Lestrange. Families we don't associate with, of course."

"And what do you think is right, mum?" James asked.

She sighed again. "I think people are people, whether magical or Muggle. I think old wizarding families put a frightful amount of stock in the idea of blood purity even though there's no evidence that it's ever done us any good." Her eyes got hard. "I believe in doing what is right. But I also believe in protecting my family at all costs."

James stared. He'd never heard his mother speak with such conviction about the subject before. After a moment, he recovered. "That sounds more Gryffindor than Ravenclaw, Mum."

Her face broke into a smile. "You'll find that once you leave school dear, your House won't matter nearly as much as you think it does now," she teased. "Now, you're too young to be fretting about what happened to the Podmores. They were lovely people, and their deaths were tragic, but I won't have you and your friends harping over it. Young boys should have more positive hobbies to distract over." She stood up and smoothed her robes. "Let's go find your father for a cup of tea and talk about more pleasant things."

James nodded, but his mind was whirring as fast as the wheels on the Hogwarts Express. The Podmores had been part of a political faction. It stood to reason that the people that murdered them stood on the opposite end. That would be the darker pureblood families - the Lestranges of the world. And the Blacks.

James felt another pang of worry for his friend. Surely the Blacks were elitist, but not so evil as to indoctrinate an 12-year-old boy into such unsavory business. Sirius' home life couldn't be so different from his own - surely it was just stuffy tutors and dancing lessons and archery classes and other aristocratic nonsense. After all, they weren't even teenagers yet. He was reading into it too deeply.

But for the brilliance that was young James Potter, for the life of him his 11-year-old brain couldn't fully comprehend it - how could a difference in political opinion be worth spilling blood? It must just be a small group of mad fanatics. Just a small group of mad men. It would never catch on.

At least that was what James so wanted to believe.


	18. Misunderstandings

Remus breathed shallowly, willing himself not to jostle his ribs, which he was almost certain were broken. He wanted his mother to come, to hold his head in her hands and tell him everything would be all right.

As if reading his mind, both Lyall and Hope Lupin came bounding down the stairs to their son.

"Oh Remus," his mother said, taking in the irregular position of her son's leg and the pool of blood on the basement floor. She touched his forehead gently and turned to her husband.

Lyall was already raising his wand and muttering incantations to ease his son's pain. Remus knew the broken bones could be healed, but the cuts on the skin had been full of werewolf spittle and would not heal properly. More scars.

"That's my boy," Lyall said, his voice tight. A quick visual inspection told him that none of his son's wounds were life threatening, at least this time. He bent over. "Shall I fix the leg now or would you prefer a splint?" He asked the boy.

"Fix it, please," Remus said. He knew the strain of a femur repair would exhaust him further, but he also knew he would be bedbound for a day or two regardless.

His father looked at him sadly. "As you wish," he whispered, waving his wand and muttering more words.

Remus breathed in sharply as he felt the leg snap back into place, which jarred his broken ribs, forcing him to groan.

"Broken ribs," his father observed. "I'm sorry Remus but we'll have to wait to heal those. They're a bit closer to your organs than I feel comfortable trying without double-checking the procedure."

"I know," Remus grunted out. Through his haze of pain he tried to smile at his father and reassure him. His father was not as skilled as the matron at Hogwarts who took such good care of him through his lonely transformations, but it was comforting to have his parents there, the two people that knew all his secrets and still loved him in spite of this.

"There, there," his mother said, brushing his hair off his sweaty forehead comfortingly. "Let's get you in bed and see about a pain potion, shall we?"

Remus's father scooped him up and began trudging up the stairs. Remus thought miserably about how in a few years he would be too large for this, and how his father would have to use magic to levitate him from the basement up the two floors to his little bedroom, the same way Madam Pomfrey always did. There was such comfort in human contact after a transformation, a relief in knowing that someone was still there and willing to touch him even with the marks of the beast still visible. He snuggled his head into his father's shoulder and tried to enjoy the moment through his pain.

Gently, Lyall laid his son in the bed. Hope was right behind. She opened a cabinet under the nightstand and pulled out a small vial. His pain potion.

Remus thought guiltily about Madam Pomfrey's cabinets at Hogwarts, which were stock full of every healing related potion one could imagine. He once asked her where they all came from, and how they were paid for, and she told him most were made using ingredients from the school's own greenhouses, or things collected in the forest. She, or Professor Slughorn, brewed them so the cost was minimal.

His father, he knew, would go to the apothecary in Diagon Alley and pay both for the ingredients and the labor, as his father was a poor brewer, and his mother, as a Muggle, could not brew potions. For the millionth time Remus thought about what a burden he was on his poor parents, his parents who had been a young and happy couple with a young son and considering a second child when an attack on their first ruined their future forever.

Hogwarts was a wonderful place, but back home the reality of his state of affairs came crashing down. It was only a temporary escape - a few years respite before he had to turn back to his true way of life.

Once he graduated Hogwarts – if he graduated at all – then what would he do? Even if he sat for his NEWTS, no one would employ him once they discovered he was a werewolf. He would have to register once he turned 17 – he could not keep the secret from his friends then, if he even made it that long.

They would think him a monster. They would hate him. He imagined what it would be like to be on the wrong end of James Potter's wand, of Sirius Black's temper.

It hurt. It hurt to know the way they would look at him, even as he lie in his warm bed covered with blankets and bundled in his parent's unconditional love, his future losses hung over him.

These were self-deprecating, dark thoughts, and as sleep came back over him he felt himself falling deeper into the abyss.

/

James Potter was positively frantic. It was one thing to not hear from Sirius all holiday, but suddenly Remus had stopped responding, right when James expressed his concerns about Sirius. Remus would never leave such a letter unanswered, unless he was physically unable to respond. After all, why would he ever ignore James Potter?

"Mother, we must go to the Lupins at once! Something must be horribly wrong!" he exclaimed, addressing her formally in hopes that she would understand the gravity of the situation.

Euphemia Potter looked up from the copy of the Daily Prophet she was reading. "Darling, it's only been a few days, and the New Year's Holiday to boot. I'm sure Remus is just busy with his family celebrations."

"You don't understand," James said impatiently. "Remus doesn't get distracted by celebrations. Remus is always laser-focused." James made a motion creating a straight line from his eyes with two fingers. "We must go check on him!"

"I'm sure if something was wrong his parents would handle it," his other assured him. James was not so sure. Over the last term Remus had disappeared several times, each time returning looking terribly exhausted. When questioned, he'd told James his mother was sick and that he'd been home by her bedside. If his mother was sick, she was in no position to be handling a crisis.

"Mother, what must I do to be taken seriously?" James demanded.

The witch looked at him thoughtfully and folded up her paper. "Are you truly this concerned?"

"YES!" He exploded. "First the radio silence from Sirius, then the strange letter, and now Remus not responding, when he's certainly not one to ignore a friend in need…." He trailed off, realizing he'd betrayed his concerns about Sirius as well, which he was trying to keep quiet until he could come up for a definitive reason to actually be concerned about his friend, aside from a gut feeling.

His mother raised her eyebrows, a gesture James often mimicked in similar situations.

"So you're concerned about both Remus and Sirius?" She sounded amused. "My goodness, what goes on at school that has you so worried?"

"It's not what happens at school, Mum," James said, exasperated. "At school I'm there." At school, James would be able to see what was wrong and react accordingly. Peter was stressed about a Transfiguration essay? James could jump in and help. Remus was shivering because Sirius left the window open again? James could offer him an extra blanket and smack Sirius upside the head for being inconsiderate. Sirius was suffering insults from his Slytherin cousins? James was there with a retort and a jinx. But what good was he hundreds of miles away?

"Ahh, and I'm sure your friends appreciate having James Potter there to mother them," his mother teased. James rolled his eyes.

At that moment a tawny owl flew in, dropping a letter right onto James' lap.

"Thank Merlin, it's from Remus!" James said, ripping the envelope open unceremoniously. He scanned the letter quickly, then a second time more slowly.

"And what does it say?" his mother prompted, not unkindly.

"That he was unable to write because he came down with a cold, but his mother nursed him with delicious soup and now he's right," James mumbled, feeling silly.

Euphemia gave her son a small smile. "So it seems you may have been overreacting just a tad," she said slyly.

"A tad," James admitted, calming down. He continued to scan the letter.

"What does he say about your concern for Sirius?" she asked,

James mentally cursed himself for letting that bit slip. "He says I'm overreacting, of course." He hopped off his chair. "I'm going to go practice my chess," he said abruptly, walking out of the kitchen toward his bedroom. His mother just shook her head.

Of course, that wasn't what Remus said at all, but James didn't want to tell his mother that.

 _Dear James -_

 _I'm sorry I didn't write sooner - I've been stuck in bed with a nasty cold. Mother insists on letting minor things pass the Muggle way, so she's been nursing me back to health with delicious soup._

 _I haven't heard from Sirius at all this holiday, and I agree it does seem a bit strange, as he doesn't give us a minute's peace at school. Do you suppose his parents punished him for the sorting? Seems a rotten thing to do to a child at Christmastime._

 _The letter he sent you is a bit off-tone, but maybe he hasn't had a free moment away from the family. There are just a few days left until we return to Hogwarts - I'm sure if anything is wrong he'll tell us when we see him in person._

 _Happy New Year! I do hope you did something fun with your folks. I was sick through most of it but Mother made paper confetti poppers that Father set off with his wand - it was quite pretty but I'm not sure I'll ever clean the confetti out of my blankets! You'd be horrified by the mess I'm sure._

 _Best,_

 _Remus_

Remus was quite right, of course, with their return to Hogwarts just a few days away, it didn't seem that there was much they could do over the holidays, but James still felt uneasy. It didn't seem right not to act when his friend may be in trouble.

So he did the only thing he could do to occupy his troubled mind – began a list of troublemaking and adventuring for the new term.

/

Sirius was resisting the urge to bounce up and down like a small child as he walked. The bloody holiday was over, and he was back at King's Cross station, out in public where his mother wouldn't dare raise a wand at him and his father wouldn't dare raise a hand. His father was even pushing his trunk. His mother may hiss insults and send him Howlers, but Orion was all about keeping up appearances.

To be fair, Sirius suspected Orion Black was unaware of his wife's newest system of punishment. Walburga always did have run of the house, but it had not escaped her son's notice that she never raised her wand when his father was home. Instead she'd reverted back to the usual forms of punishment – a slap here, a kick there. He was sporting a bruise or two that his mother had left, refusing to heal them so he might remember the punishment and learn the lesson she was trying to beat into him.

Of course, it wasn't the bruises that left him with horrid nightmares every night, that made him shiver every time his father left the house for work so his mother had free reign to use her wand however she saw fit.

He'd never gotten on with his parents all that well, but he'd never imagined just how wretched his mother could be. Her rage over his placement in Gryffindor had not abated all holiday, and he remained locked away in the house, unable to wander outside and play in the park as he often did as a child. She was also holding back food – not enough to starve him of course, just enough to leave him unhappy and slightly underfed. Even when the family came for Christmas dinner he was allowed just one measly plate despite the feast laid out on the table before him.

He'd never considered his punishments to be any more than he deserved as a child, but after a few months at Hogwarts he was beginning to see that this could hardly be normal. There was no way in hell Peter Pettigrew's mother regularly withheld food. James Potter would never have acted so cavalier about all his detentions if they'd earned him beatings at home. And Remus Lupin was always rushing home to care for his sick mother - surely he had no fear of his father raising a wand at him.

But all that was the past now. He was headed back to Hogwarts, back to pranks with James and Remus and Peter, and all the food you could want at meals, and even more when they snuck down to the kitchen.

"Sirius!" The boy turned to see James rushing up to greet him, his parents a short distance behind.

"Yo!" Sirius called brightly, ignoring his mother's scoff when she saw who was calling to her son. He strolled away from his parents toward his friend, hoping his movements wouldn't betray the sore spot near his rib cage where his mother had landed one last hit before taking off for the station that morning.

"Why didn't you write me?" James demanded once Sirius reached him. "One letter the whole break – what an insult!" James crossed his arms and stared up at the taller boy, awaiting explanation.

Sirius tried to arrange his face in blank expression to hide his emotions. Of course he had wanted to write to James – to Remus as well. He had started many letters to his friends, only to rip them up and toss them aside. He couldn't tell them what was happening at home – too shameful. And he didn't want to spin tall tales – not to his friends. So instead he'd just read the letters they sent – full of happy recollections of their holidays and ideas for pranks once they returned to school, and some even expressed concern when he left them unanswered. He'd cherished those letters, even if he didn't respond. They were evidence that outside his home there was plenty of good – good families raising good children who were good friends, even to a boy with a family with an ugly reputation.

"I'm sorry," he told James. "Mum had be working like a house-elf all break – she seems to think she can sweat the Gryffindor out of me if she tries hard enough."

James didn't look convinced, but as he opened his mouth to say something his mother stepped into hearing range, so he clammed up.

"Hello, Mrs. Potter," Sirius said politely to the witch. Euphemia Potter was older than most of the parents on the platform, but her lined face was soft and kind and her eyes twinkled in the same way her son's did when he had a bright idea.

"You must be Sirius," she said. "James has told me so much about you. You must consider coming out for a visit this summer – James was terribly bored without his friends to keep him company this holiday."

"I would love that!" Sirius said earnestly, wondering how long he could visit and therefore escape the clutches of his mother.

"Are you just saying that, like you said you'd write?" James glowered.

"No!" Sirius cried, hurt by his friend's tone and alarmed that James had misread the situation. "James I wanted to write, honest, but Mum –"

"Sirius." The boy's spine went rigid and he turned. He hadn't realized his parents had followed him over to the Potters.

"You must be Sirius' mother," Euphemia said pleasantly. "I believe my husband and I are acquainted with your husband Orion through various social circles, but I don't believe we've had the pleasure. We were just discussing arranging a visit for the boys this summer."

Walburga Black looked Euphemia Potter up and down. The latter continued to smile patiently despite the obviousness of the former's action. Sirius felt his cheeks turning red.

"May I go, Mother?" He asked, politely as possible.

Walburga considered her son. "It will depend on your exam marks," she finally said. "Though I wouldn't mind getting you out of my house."

Euphemia pursed her lips the same way her son often did. Sirius thought for a moment she was going to say something sharp, but she must have thought better of it, because she responded, "Well James tells me Sirius is quite clever, so I imagine there won't be any difficulties with that."

Sirius heard his father grunt and he dared to hope it was a grunt of approval – even Orion Black enjoyed hearing good things about his heir.

"Shall I write you in the spring to work out the details?" Mrs. Potter continued lightly.

Walburga was looking at the other witch like she was quite unsure how to respond to a woman who had the audacity to praise her shameful son. Finally, with an appraising look, she nodded curtly.

"Splendid," Euphemia said. She patted her son on the head absentmindedly. "Now we best get these boys on the train before it takes off without them!"

It was better than Sirius ever could have hoped. His mother may be a nasty, incorrigible beast of a woman, but years of aristocratic upbringing would not allow her to renege on an agreement made so publicly, and even if she considered it, Orion witnessed the agreement and would insist on it, with the Potters being pureblood, albeit not the type the Blacks preferred. He scrambled over toward the train, grabbing James by the wrist and dragging him along before the other boy could say anything.

Sirius's father, looking rather bemused by his wife's reaction, followed and tossed the heavy truck up for his son to grab and secure once he found a seat. "There will be no more nonsense this term." It was an order, not a question.

"Yes sir," Sirius said dully, knowing he would never keep that promise.

Without a word of goodbye, Orion walked off to escort his wife home.

The Potters, in contrast, carried their son's trunk into the compartment the boys selected and heaved it as well as Sirius's up to the racks above.

"Do have a good term, boys," Mr. Potter said, ruffling his son's hair. James glared from under the messy mop but did not fight it.

As the adults left James turned on his friend. "Sirius…" he said uncertainly. "Is everything all right at home?"

The other boy scoffed, then frowned when he realized it was a habit he had from his mother. "They're bloody furious I wound up in Gryffindor, if that's what you're asking. It wasn't a pleasant holiday."

"Do you want to talk about it?" James asked.

Sirius closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He was so grateful to be back with his friend. He didn't want to muddy it by talking about what had happened at home.

"Just lots of arguing is all," Sirius lied. "My parents took away my owl privileges after I called my father a git." He was lying, but it was easier this way. "I don't want to waste breath talking about them," he said, waving a hand in dismissal. "What are your plans for the term? Did you learn anything more about the Podmores?"

Just then, the compartment door slid open and Remus Lupin slid in. "Good morning," he said in his quiet manner.

"REMUS!" James shouted excitedly, running over and slapping him on the back. "All better from that cold then?"

"Cold?" Sirius asked curiously.

"I fell ill right around New Year's," Remus explained. "Father was prepared to cure it with a potion, but with my mother being a Muggle she thought it best to treat it with bed rest and lots of fluids. But I feel just fine now."

Sirius took a good look at his friend, and realized he did look a fair bit paler than he last remembered. "You sure that Muggle cure works?" he asked skeptically.

"Oh yes, my mother takes good care of me," Remus assured him. But Sirius couldn't help but remember that his friend's mother so frequently fell ill. He wondered if her condition was contagious.

"Forget about that, I have brilliant plans for this term," James was saying. "I made a list…"

"We should wait until Peter gets here…" Remus said. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"We'll catch Pettigrew up," he said impatiently. The boy was dying to stir up some trouble – it was the best way to let off steam. "What have you got, Potter?"

/

Peter Pettigrew gave his mother one last kiss on the cheek then scrambled onto the Hogwarts Express with his trunk considerably heavier than the trip home, full of gifts. It took a few tries before he found James, Sirius and Remus relaxing in a cabin toward the back of the train.

"Hullo!" He said happily, shoving his trunk up on the luggage rack with help from James. "How were your holidays?"

Sirius shrugged, Remus gave a small smile, and James grinned.

"I've convinced Mum to invite you all out this summer," James said. "Just think - the four of us basking in the sunshine, no pesky classes or boring old homework to worry about."

"Oh, well that sounds fun," Peter said, wondering if his mother would be willing to part with him.

"I've also learned more about the Podmores -"

"But we don't have to discuss that right now," Remus cut in quickly.

Peter opened his mouth to assure them he would remain calm, as he resolved to do over the holidays, but before he could, the compartment door slid open.

"Sirius Black!" Lily Evans burst through. "Is this some kind of joke paper?" She held up a copy of the day's Daily Prophet.

"Huh?" Sirius blinked.

"Can I see that? I haven't read it yet," Remus asked politely. She handed it to him.

"So this is the real paper? Not some kind of mean joke?"

"I ordered you a subscription before the holiday - you're just now reading it?" Sirius asked.

"Of course I've been reading it," Lily said. "I'm asking if this particular copy is a joke."

"I haven't had much opportunity for mischief at home, unfortunately," Sirius told her.

"What's in the paper, Evans?" James asked curiously.

"Turn to page seven," Lily told Remus.

"The opinion section?" Remus flipped the page and the boys all leaned over his shoulder curiously. After a moment, Sirius growled so loudly Peter jumped.

" _The Benefits of a Registry for Muggleborns and Squibs,"_ he read the headline aloud.

" _We in the pureblood community believe we need a way to track tainted blood to prevent the loss of our magical talents,"_ Lily quoted. _"_ Written by one Arcturus Black."

Peter gasped then immediately regretted it when he saw the look on Sirius' face. It wasn't one of anger, as he'd expected, nor did Sirius even look defensive. No, the normally fiery Sirius Black looked, well, like he was about to cry.

"Evans, you don't - it's not - I don't think like them!"

"So you are related to Arcturus Black then?"

"His grandfather," James said absentmindedly, still scanning the piece over Remus' shoulder. "And a bloody piece of work."

"Is this why you told me to read the paper?" Evans demanded. "To send me a message?"

Peter turned to Sirius, expecting a rude retort. But for some reason, the boy seemed incapable of speech. So Peter waited another breath for James or Remus to jump in. When that didn't happen, he realized the other two were so engrossed in the article they didn't even realize Sirius was tongue-tied. Nervously, Peter decided to step in.

"Sirius doesn't think that way Lily, you know that," Peter said, hoping he sounded calm and rational. "He wanted you to read the paper because he wants us all to, you know, realize there are some not-so-nice people out there."

"Those not-so-nice people are his family!" the girl snapped back.

"Sirius can't help that," Remus said, finally breaking away from the paper to come to his friend's defense. "You can't blame him for what he can't control."

"That's easy for you to say, you're not the one they want to sign this terrible registry," Lily said, though she'd lowered the volume of her voice.

Remus opened his mouth, but James finally entered the fray. "Hey now, Remus has a Muggle mum - don't act like he doesn't have a stake in something like this," James said. "And what right do you have to come bursting in here hurling insults anyway? Sirius has consistently shown that he stands out for his family - why everyone knows Blacks always wind up in Slytherin - but not Sirius." He stood up and glared at her. "If you'd been paying attention to the papers before you'd know this is only the tiniest piece of what's going on in the Wizarding world right now. Sirius was trying to educate you."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm not sure I need a pureblood boy whose family spews this kind of stuff to educate me."

"Apparently you do," James said.

"I know I did," Peter said quietly. He didn't always get on with Sirius, but he knew at his core that the pureblood heir was a good person, and that his intentions in raising the alarm about the mess happening in the world was coming from a place of concern, not of cruelty.

"Evans - I'm sorry about my grandfather, truly," Sirius said. "But I'm not like that."

"I already pointed that out," James said dryly.

"And even if you have your little Slytherin friend to clue you in to the bits and pieces, you have no idea what goes on in these high-bred pureblood households," Sirius continued. "And little idea how the Wizarding world works. I'm just trying to give you a leg up."

Lily looked between Sirius and James several times then sighed. "You two are so incredibly condescending," she said finally.

"What?" James and Sirius asked at the same time.

"You say you're not like your family, and maybe that's true when it comes to blood prejudices, I'll reserve judgment on that. But one thing is clear."

Peter turned to Remus in confusion, as it certainly wasn't clear to him, but the other boy just shrugged.

"You and Potter both think you're better than everyone else. High-bred households? You think yourselves so smart that you couldn't be bothered to simply have a conversation with me - instead you flaunt your money by ordering me a newspaper subscription, offer no real explanation of anything, then act like I'm the bad guy when I'm upset over an article written by your own grandfather."

"Evans, that's not - " James started.

"That's exactly what just happened here, Potter," she said. "You could have treated me like an equal, instead of a student. I may be Muggleborn and somewhat ignorant of the Wizarding world, but I knew that and accepted that. You could have just talked to me. And don't think I didn't catch that little dig at Severus. Who, by the way, explains himself and speaks to me like a person. He's not arrogant like you." She turned to leave.

"Evans - it's not like that - " James tried to argue.

"How would you feel if you spotted something like this column?" She asked quietly. "Something that said you were worth less than the others around you?"

"He's just some mad old man. He falls asleep at the dinner table," Sirius said. "Look I'm sorry - but don't you think you're overreacting? Just let us explain everything."

"I'd rather not," she told him. She turned to leave.

"Lily, your paper," Remus held it up for her.

"I don't want anything Sirius Black paid for to cure me of my ignorance," she said. "I'll order my own subscription." She slammed the door behind her. Peter could tell she wanted them to believe her angry, but he caught a look at her face through the window as she walked away, and he saw tears.

"What. Just. Happened?" James asked, looking perplexed.

"You told her she was overreacting to something that obviously affected her deeply, and caught her off-guard," Remus said, the ever-intelligent one. "Prejudice is a hurtful thing."

James scratched his head. "I don't understand girls."

"I'm not sure it has anything to do with the fact that she's a girl," Peter said quietly.

Peter thought Lily had overreacted turning her temper on James and Sirius, but deep down, he knew where she was coming from. James and Sirius, for all their good qualities, had a way of making people feel small and silly. Obviously, Lily Evans had not appreciated it.

Peter Pettigrew knew what it felt like to feel small and silly. He could understand her frustration.

The difference was, Lily Evans had the strength of character to walk away from the people that made her feel that way, to step out of the shadow and cast her own. Peter liked to hide in that shadow instead.


	19. Mounting Suspicions

It was the first night back at Hogwarts, and James was awakened because the bed next to his was shaking.

"Sirius?" he hissed, pushing the curtains back. The boy was tossing and turning, apparently trapped in the abyss of a nightmare. "Sirius!" He said a little louder, still trying not to wake the other two boys.

"No mum - please-" the other boy murmured, still in a fit.

"Sirius!" James crawled into the bed and shook the other boy. "It's just a dream - wake up!"

"No STOP!" The other boy shot upright, nearly banging heads with James as he awoke.

"Shhhhh," James said in what he hoped was a soothing voice. "It was only a nightmare, mate."

"James? Nightmare?" Sirius looked around groggily. "Right. I'm at school."

"Exactly," James said, glad he was catching on. "Are you okay? You're a bit sweaty."

"Just a nightmare," Sirius was whispering, still looking disoriented. James rubbed him on the back the way his mother always did for him.

"Do you want to talk about it?" James asked. It seemed the fuss hadn't awoken Remus or Peter, which was probably best, as it let Sirius preserve his pride somewhat.

"No, no I don't think so," Sirius said, He had pulled himself into his knees and was running his hands through his hair.

"You said something about your mum…" James ventured carefully.

"Yeah, I suppose I probably did," Sirius said. He finally looked James in the eye. "I'm sorry I woke you. You're not angry are you?"

"Angry? Why would I be angry?" This was a weird question to ask, especially from Sirius, who rarely seemed concerned with what the rest of the world thought of his behavior. "We all have a nightmare here and there." He smiled and patted him on the shoulder. "I have this recurring one where I fall through a toilet into the sewers under the school, somehow wind up in the lake and get eaten by the giant squid. It's terrible."

"That sounds ridiculous," Sirius said, straightening a bit and pulling his chin away from his knees.

"Well sure, most nightmares sounds ridiculous once you're awake to reason them out," James said. "Are you sure you don't want to talk about yours? It may make you feel better."

The moonlight through the window illuminated Sirius' face just enough for James to see it was pale and miserable. "I can't talk about it," he said, barely loud enough to hear.

James pursed his lips, though in the dark he doubted Sirius could see. Again he felt a little tug in his gut that something was wrong, but he didn't want to push his friend. "All right then, scooch over would you?"

"Huh?"

"Scooch over so I can fit and we'll go back to sleep," James said simply. If Sirius didn't want to talk he wouldn't make him talk, but James Potter would be damned if he didn't find some way to comfort his friend.

Sirius stared at him for a moment, then moved over. James plopped down and fluffed a pillow.

"James?"

"Hmm?"

"You won't tell Remus or Peter, will you?"

"And ruin your suave and unrufflable image?" James grinned. "I plan to do it first thing tomorrow."

"You prat," Sirius said, punching him lightly. That was more like it.

"Kidding, kidding. Of course I won't. If anyone asks, we just really like to cuddle."

Sirius chuckled. "Thanks."

"Say Black, what do you make of our little run-in with Evans on the train?"

"Ugh. Now why did you have to go and bring that up? Miss Priss wouldn't even let me explain. I should have known better than to try to recruit her to our cause. I thought we could use a brain like hers."

"Our cause?"

"The war against the Slytherins, of course," Sirius told him. "Imagine the intel she could have collected for us through her slimy little friend.

James chuckled. "I don't think Evans is the spying type. Besides, we don't need any brains other than our own." He cocked his head and grinned at his friend.

"Well that's true. Between us and Remus we've got all the brains we could ever need." He paused. "And Peter can handle the snacks."

"Speaking of Remus," James said. "He must have been really sick over break. He didn't write me for days - and you know how he loves to read and write." He sniggered. "And unlike you, he's not the type to leave a mate's letter unanswered."

"I explained the situation, Potter," Sirius said, a bit sharply.

"I know I know. It's not about that. I was just wondering - do you suppose his mum's illness is catching?"

"I've considered it," Sirius admitted. "He does seem worse for wear after those disappearing acts."

"It's curious," James said. It was very curious indeed.

/

Remus awoke the morning of the full moon in the fog of fever. He was sorely tempted to remain in bed, but he had lessons he couldn't afford to miss and friends that would notice his absence if he slept through breakfast.

The first few months of transformations at Hogwarts had gone rather well, but the nights were longer in December and January. After New Year's, Remus was anticipating a particularly miserable one this time out. He'd been overtired and irritable for three days already, and he hadn't had the appetite to even try the roast beef at dinner last night, which usually served well enough.

He gulped down several glasses of water in the washroom and took a long shower, hoping the warmth might ease his aching shoulders. But stepping out into the steamy aftermath made him feel light-headed, and even after splashing cold water on his face everything seemed slightly dream-like in nature.

"Remus?" James was knocking on the door. "Are you all right in there? If we don't get moving we'll miss breakfast, and you know what that would do to Peter."

Remus took a deep breath. Even in his sickly haze, he was uplifted by the fact that he had friends waiting for him to come down to breakfast with them.

"I'm coming," he said, pulling open the door.

"Say, you look a little flushed - are you feeling ill?" James reached up and put the back of his hand against Remus' forehead. The hand was cool and comforting against the hot skin. "You're warm!"

"I spent longer in the shower than I usually do," Remus said, reasoning that it wasn't really a lie. "I'm sure that's all it is."

James raised his eyebrows. "You were in there for a while." He sounded like he had some doubts.

"Not as long as you take, Potter," Sirius said from behind them. "I'm surprised you don't come out shriveled and pruned with the amount of time you spend in there."

"At least I take the time to shower every morning, unlike someone else I know," James turned away from Remus to look at the other boy. Remus took advantage of the distraction by grabbing his bag and heading for the door.

"Shall we?" he said.

Remus didn't have any appetite, and struggled to sit up on the bench in the Great Hall. He was relieved when they arrived in Charms - the chairs were hard but at least they offered proper back support. He sagged against it and did his best to follow what Professor Flitwick was saying, scribbling far less coherent notes than usual.

Not eating anything at breakfast only intensified his dizziness. In Transfiguration, where he was supposed to be turning a teacup into a hedgehog, he had to stop and put his head on the table several times, which did not go unnoticed by his friends or Professor McGonagall.

"Are you unwell, Mr. Lupin?" She asked him when she reached him during her regular patrol of the classroom.

"I knew you felt warm this morning," James said, shaking his head. "Want one of us to walk you to the hospital wing?"

"No - no," Remus protested. "I'm sorry for my rudeness Professor - I just didn't get much sleep."

She pursed her lips but didn't push the issue - Remus knew the witch understood the need for discretion. "Then give the teacup one final effort - I do grant marks for partial transformations."

She passed on to the Fraser twins and James turned to him, looking upset. "You look terrible mate, why did you brush it off? McGonagall would have let you make it up."

"There's only 20 minutes left of class, then lunch," Remus said, as much to himself as to James. "I'll have a quick lie-down then."

"Are you certain?" James checked his forehead again. "You feel like you're burning up."

"It's warm in here," Remus said dismissively, pushing the hand away. Lily Evans was looking over their way. He hated that his observant friend had noticed his condition, and while he knew he should have appreciated the concern, James was just bringing more attention to an issue he was trying to hide. He just needed to get through 20 more minutes.

But that proved to be a gross miscalculation. As the class spilled into the corridor and headed up the stairs, Remus began having spots in his vision. He grabbed the banister to steady himself with one arm and groped at James, who was in front of him. As he blinked the spots seemed to get bigger and bigger, until suddenly, everything was black.

/

"Remus!" James just barely managed to catch his friend as the boy went down on the stairs. With quick reflexes he managed to get his body under Remus and slip an arm under the smaller boy's armpit, and reached around his skinny body to ensure he didn't slip out of his grip onto the stone stairs. Remus' head came down on his shoulder and James could feel the heat radiating off of him. James mentally kicked himself - he knew he should have taken Remus to the hospital wing earlier.

"What's wro - OH!" Sirius turned around and quickly moved to help James support their friend.

"Peter, go get help," James ordered. He was doing his best to shelter his unconscious friend from the crowd of students who were passing by, unaware of a crisis unfolding. Peter took off back toward the Transfiguration classroom immediately, jumping down four or five steps at a time.

"Remus, can you hear me?" Sirius was gently tapping Remus on the cheek, trying to illicit a reaction. "Dammit Potter, he's on fire!"

Remus moaned and his eyes fluttered but did not open.

"What happened?" Lily Evans and Eliza Corsica had noticed the disturbance and dropped to their knees next to the boys, wearing identical expressions of concern.

"He's a fever," James said, re-adjusting himself so he was sitting on a step and carefully placing Remus' head in his lap.

"Here," Eliza pulled a handkerchief from her bag. "Wipe some of the sweat off his brow."

James did so and Remus moaned again. Other students were stopping to stare, but Sirius stood up and pulled out his wand. "This isn't a spectacle for your entertainment," he growled at a group of Ravenclaw second-years.

"Make way, make way - Mr. Davis, that includes you!" Professor McGonagall cut through the crowd, Peter on her heels. "Mr. Potter - what happened?"

"He just went down, Professor," James said, feeling wretched he couldn't do anything for his friend. "And his fever seems worse."

"He didn't eat anything this morning, either," Peter chimed in.

The witch nodded and waved her wand, conjuring a stretcher. "He needs the hospital wing, of course. Mr. Black, clear us a path. Ladies, would you be so kind as to bring Mr. Lupin's class things back to Gryffindor tower? I imagine these three will be coming along with me."

"With pleasure, professor," Sirius said, glaring at a few Slytherin sixth-years who were looking over with interest. Lily and Eliza nodded and took Remus' bag from Peter, who had already picked up the spilled contents and packed it up in the same careful manner Remus himself would have done had he'd been able.

McGonagall carefully levitated Remus onto the stretcher. James could see his friend was struggling to regain consciousness and he reached out to hold his hand. It was alarming to see Remus in such a state, but he knew it must be far more alarming for Remus.

"James?"

"I'm right here," James said in what he hoped was a soothing voice. "McGonagall's got you - we'll be in the hospital wing in a jiffy."

"Did people see?"

James squeezed his friend's hand. Remus was shy around others - though he often made witty remarks when the boys were alone in the dorm, he was quiet and didn't speak without prompting in larger crowds - and James knew he would be mortified later when he found out what happened. And there was bound to be teasing when word spread about the sickly first year who passed out on the stairs.

"Don't worry," James told him. "Everything will be just fine."

Remus managed a small nod. When they reached the hospital wing doors Sirius kicked them open and shouted for the matron, who came running.

"Remus dear! What happened?"

Remus gave her a rueful look.

"I think he just overexerted himself, Poppy," McGonagall was saying.

The matron clucked her tongue. "Honestly, young people," she said. She turned to James, Sirius and Peter. "I'm sorry boys, but Remus is going to need his rest. You can't stay."

"You can't be serious!" James burst out. "You expect us to just leave him in this condition?" He knew an outburst was not the way to negotiate, but he'd forgotten himself in his anxiety over his friend.

"Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall said. "While your concern is touching, this is a situation best left to the experts."

"'S okay, James," Remus whispered, but his voice was hoarse and his hair was matted against his forehead with sweat and it was hard to believe he would ever be okay.

"But Professor - "

"Mr. Black, this is no time to be contrary," McGonagall said as Madam Pomfrey skirted Remus away. "Mr. Lupin requires treatment and rest - which he won't get with you fretting over him." She paused, and continued in a softer tone. "Boys, this is not the first time a student has passed out from a fever, nor will it be the last, unfortunately."

"Really?"

She nodded. "Not everyone possesses your healthy constitution, Mr. Potter. Now, don't make me tell you again. Off to lunch."

James slumped his shoulders in frustration, though Sirius continued to stare at the witch fiercely. "You'll tell us if he takes a turn? His mum is sick with some Muggle disease, you know."

"I will bring you news of Mr. Lupin later tonight," she promised. "Now go - you'll not want to be late for Herbology, Mr. Lupin will need your notes, after all."

It was this point that finally convinced the boys to abandon the hospital wing.

James did his best to take notes that afternoon, but he was too worked up. He'd never seen someone look so _sick_ before. Remus was always disappearing home to visit his sick mother - but what if the illness was contagious, like he and Sirius had suggested before? Or what if it was something hereditary that got passed down generation to generation? Was that even possible? He was dying to write his father and ask.

But for now, all he could do was fret over his friend. And in his concern over Remus, he forgot his other set of concerns for Sirius.

/

"I can't believe Pomfrey wouldn't let us see him!" Sirius complained that evening in the Gryffindor Common Room. "You don't suppose he's worse off?"

"McGonagall said he was doing all right," James said, though he looked just as put out as Sirius felt. "This is my fault - I should have insisted on taking him down to the hospital wing this morning!"

"You couldn't have known this would happen, James," Peter said.

"Petey's right - don't beat yourself up Potter," Sirius said. "Most kids would be thrilled to miss a day of class for a little sniffle - Remus just happens to be the opposite."

"Still," James shook his head. "He seemed fine yesterday…"

"Actually - he didn't really eat much at dinner…" Peter pointed out.

"You would notice that," Sirius said. He threw himself down into an armchair with more force than necessary and began tapping his foot.

"Excuse me, James?"

All three boys looked up. Eliza Corsica was the one addressing him. "I was just wondering - have you any word on Remus?"

"None of your business," Sirius muttered, ignoring the look James shot him.

"McGonagall says it's just a fever - 'tis the winter season, after all," James said, trying to sound casual.

"True," she said. "Still, it was rather scarey wasn't it? It was a good thing you caught him - he could have banged his head pretty good on those stairs."

Sirius found his irritation with Corsica, who he usually got along just fine with, mounting. Who was she to ask after Remus, anyway? It was an invasion of privacy, he decided. Remus was a private person - even among his three friends he was often quiet and hesitant to ask questions. Sirius did his best to respect this, which, granted, wasn't always great as he was the naturally curious type. But he wasn't about to let someone else nose their way into Remus' private affairs.

"Bugger off, Corsica," he said nastily. "It's none of your business."

"Sirius…" James scolded him. "She's just asking…"

She turned to him, hurt on her face. "Yes, I was just asking...I like Remus. He's always so sweet and helpful in the library."

"Yeah, well, send him some chocolates or something instead of asking pesky questions," Sirius finished lamely.

Still looking hurt, Corsica walked over to Lily Evans, and the girls proceeded to have a whispered conversation that Sirius could hear all too well.

"He sort of chased me off," Corsica said to Evans.

"I'm not surprised," Evans responded. "He and Potter are so rude and arrogant. I don't understand why Remus hangs out with them."

"I don't know," the other girl said. "Sirius and James both looked pretty concerned earlier. Maybe he was just being protective. And James caught him before he hit the ground."

"He probably just wanted to play the hero," Evans sniffed.

Sirius had heard enough. It was hard enough going day to day hearing all the whispers about the disgraced heir of the House of Black, which had died somewhat through the year but still popped up time and again. His friendships with James, Remus and Peter had made that easier to handle, and there wasn't a day that passed that he didn't thank fate for bringing him such friends. He didn't particularly care what people thought of his character, but he wasn't going to stand by and let Lily Evans belittle James like that, or question his relationship with Remus. Clutching a fist, he turned up and whipped around to confront the two girls.

"I can hear you, you know," he growled. "And for the record Evans, it's pretty rude to sit around judging people you hardly know, especially within earshot of those in question." He kept his voice low, but he was seething, and he felt his shoulders rising like a dog's heckles before it lunged into an attack.

Corsica's face fell and she looked contrite, but Evans looked back defiantly. "I call them as I see them, Black. And as I see it, you and Potter have a nasty habit of picking on Slytherins just for a laugh. Bullying is cruel."

"Bullying?" Sirius said in disbelief. "You think we're bullying?"

She sniffed. "What else would you all it?"

"Doling out righteous justice, and occasionally self-defense," James said, coming to stand beside Sirius. "I don't know what your little pal Snivellus has been telling you Evans, but you've got it twisted."

Corsica was looking between Evans and the two boys with a guilty expression on her face. "Look, Sirius, I don't think you're a bully," she said, shooting a look at Evans. "I know you're just worried about Remus. It's sweet, really."

Sirius softened a little - angry as he was, he'd never had a problem with Eliza before and he knew she wasn't the root of this argument. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself.

"Think whatever you want Evans I don't care," he said, though indeed he did care, very much about this particular topic. "Corsica - I was serious about those chocolates - Lupin is nuts for chocolate - it would cheer him up." Before anyone else could say anything to reignite his rage, he turned and headed up the stairs.

"For the record Evans, Remus is our friend by choice," he heard James say behind him. "And frankly, he's got better taste than you do…."

James was still talking but Sirius had walked too far to hear the rest of it. He burst into the dormitory, kicked off his shoes and sat on his bed, his head in his hands, He was worried about Remus and angry about what Evans had said about James.

"Sirius?" Peter had followed him up the stairs. "You OK?"

"No I'm bloody not OK," Sirius snapped. "That stupid girl has everything so backwards."

"Don't take it to heart," Peter said. "She just sees it from the other side, since she's friends with Snape."

"Don't say that name," Sirius grumbled. "And other side or no, I'm just giving those Slytherin berks what they give in return." He didn't want to be a bully like his cousin Bellatrix, and though he'd tried to brush them off, Evans' words had cut deep.

"Of course you are, and it's a good thing you do, or they'd be beating up kids like me every day," Peter said lightly. "Kids like Evans too...except she's pretty and popular and good with a wand so an attack on her may raise questions."

Sirius was surprised by a small laugh that came out of his throat.

"See, that's better," Peter said, looking rather pleased with himself. He opened his trunk and pulled out a squashed box of cauldron cakes. "Have a sweet, it will make you feel better."

Sirius laughed again, louder this time. He took one of the offered cakes and began munching on it.

"Sirius?"

"Mmm?"

"Remus will be okay, won't he?"

Sirius sighed. "He better be."

/

Once, when Peter was four years old, he came down with a wicked fever.

He remembered bits and pieces of the sickness - his mother at his bed, wiping his brow with a flannel. A healer, come to make a house call, gently prodding him with a wand. The rehydrating potions to make up for all the fluids he was sweating out.

Mostly, he remembered fearing he would never be well again, and that he was going to die in that sweat-soaked bed.

Of course, it had been the irrational fear of a sick young child. His case hadn't even been serious enough to warrant a stay at St. Mungo's, and the fever had broken after a day or two. But it had been a miserable, and unforgettable experience.

As he laid in his bed at Hogwarts, he thought of Remus, and hoped that his friend wasn't feeling that same kind of fear as he laid in a hospital wing bed. It didn't seem right that a boy as kind as Remus Lupin should suffer in such a way. Peter had snuck off from James and Sirius and tried to visit, but Madam Pomfrey had blatantly refused to let him in.

And so all he could do was lay awake feeling useless, and hoping that his friend was at least sleeping, even if it was a fitful, sweat-soaked sleep. Yes, he hoped Remus was sleeping, because the hospital wing must be a lonely place overnight, in the quiet and dark.

Peter felt he had proved himself insufficient yet again. When Remus had lost consciousness on the stairs, it had been James who caught him, and Sirius who had chased off the spectators. Then Eliza Corsica and Lily Evans had stepped in. All Peter had done was run away - to get the help of a teacher of course - but it still felt insufficient.

Seeing a person like Remus, usually so dignified, in such a vulnerable position, gave Peter a pit in his stomach. Even hours later, when they'd been assured their friend would recover, Peter couldn't get the vision of Remus' unnaturally white skin out of his head.

Peter wanted to be the kind of person others could rely on - he was sure his father had been that type of person. It only made sense that his mother would nearly fall apart without her support system. Peter wanted to be a support system. But he wasn't quick to react like James or perpetually prepared to defend like Sirius.

Peter was distracted from his thoughts when one of the other boys got up to use the loo. He'd caught James and Sirius in the same bed several times now, and for a moment he debated crawling in with one of them for comfort, but he quickly brushed the idea aside. James and Sirius were 100 percent comfortable with who they were and seemed supremely unconcerned with what others thought. But Peter cared very much of what the others thought, and he couldn't bare to appear a coward who wished for someone to comfort him in the dead of night.

Somehow, he fell asleep eventually.

The next morning he awoke to James throwing open his curtains and shoving him roughly.

"Petey! Get up! We're going to the hospital wing to see Remus," James told him. "And if that damn matron offers no as the answer, we're busting in using the invisibility cloak."

James Potter was a man of action, a man who refused to stand down until he accomplished his goal. Peter Pettigrew desperately wished he was as well.


	20. Unfortunate Evidence

Remus remembered being brought to the hospital wing, but little else about his transformation that month. Undergoing the transformation when he was sick was a particularly traumatic experience both for his body and mind. The only good thing about all this was that when Remus was exhausted, so was the wolf, and he was not as ravaged as he might be at other times. He did not remember going down to the Whomping Willow, nor did he remember being retrieved by Madam Pomfrey the next morning.

What he did remember was opening his eyes to the grinning faces of James Potter and Sirius Black.

"Remus! How are you feeling?" the raven-haired boys were shoving each other back and forth, both vying for the best view.

The werewolf had a momentary burst of panic before remembering the humiliating episode on the stairs. It was actually good cover - something Madam Pomfrey must have realized, because she had him in the main ward with only a privacy curtain separating him from the rest of the hospital wing. Humiliation was actually a relief - at least his secret was safe.

"Hello," he managed to choke out. "A bit better, I suppose." As after every transformation, speech hurt.

"You've shadows under your eyes," James observed, frowning. "Though you have a tad more color in your face." He put a hand on Remus' forehead. "And no more fever. I suppose that's an improvement."

"What time is it?" Remus asked weakly. He was still far too tired for it to be afternoon.

"Around quarter of 7," Sirius answered. "We figured we'd get down before breakfast and check on you."

Just quarter of 7. Remus couldn't have been back for more than a half hour. He took a sharp breath. He was glad the matron had been so quick to collect - he shuddered to think what kind of suspicion would have been raised if his friends had arrived and he wasn't in the hospital wing.

"Let me see him!" Peter's voice rang out from behind the others and then the pudgy blond appeared between the other boys. "Good morning Remus!"

"Good morning," Remus said, venturing a smile. He never had visitors in the hospital - indeed because his friends did not know he was there. Despite his exhaustion, it was rather refreshing. "I'm sorry about the stairs."

James shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. I should have ignored your barmy insistence to finish Transfiguration and dragged you to the hospital wing sooner. I should have recognized that your studious nature is a detriment to your health. My father would be ashamed. He sits on the board at St. Mungo's."

"I do believe some lessons in skiving off may be to your benefit," Sirius added.

"There's no shame in missing a class or two if you're ill, Remus," Peter said. "We don't mind taking notes. Here - " he fumbled around with his bag and procured a piece of parchment. "Here are the Herbology notes."

"Don't give him that!" James snatched it before Peter could lay it on the table next to Remus' bed. "A patient needs proper time to recover. Pressuring a patient with parchment packed with practical notes is not a positive plan. Any healer could tell you that."

"Did you just speak in alliteration?" Sirius asked.

"Where is Madam Pomfrey?" Remus asked.

"Err…" Sirius and James suddenly looked guilty.

"We may not technically have permission to be here…" Peter said.

Remus understood what that must mean - the boys had snuck in under the the invisibility cloak. He wanted to laugh, but he was afraid it would hurt. He compromised with what must have been another weak smile.

"Are you in pain? I'll go get Pomfrey if you need her," Sirius said. "Though I have to wonder where she is, leaving her patient alone and at the mercy of potential hooligans."

"Like yourself?" Remus couldn't help but tease.

"Exactly like myself! I'm right dangerous." Sirius grinned in response.

Remus smiled back, feeling rejuvenated by the energy of his friends. "I'm sure she'll be in to check on me in just a moment. You three should get down to breakfast before you're missed."

Sirius rolled his eyes, but grabbed his bag off the floor. "If you insist," he said, throwing an arm around Peter and guiding him away.

James stayed a moment longer. "You sure you're feeling better?" He asked again. "Just say the word and I'll have my father call in the best from St. Mungo's."

"Madam Pomfrey is the best anywhere," Remus said with conviction. "I'll be fine - it's just a sickness. We all get them."

James raised one eyebrow, his way of signalling that he wasn't convinced. But then the matron's office door began to open. The boy flicked a wrist and disappeared under the invisibility cloak. "We'll stop back at lunch," he whispered.

"Remus dear, you're awake." The matron smiled at him. "I'm sure you're exhausted, but I'm happy to report you had only minor injuries this time. I've healed most of them up and if all goes well you should be feeling like yourself with some rest. And perhaps, if you're feeling up to it, I could even allow a short visit from those rowdy friends of yours."

"That sounds lovely, ma'am," he said, trying not to betray anything in his facial expression. "I don't usually have visitors."

She frowned. "I know dear. That's the real shame of this. Young people should have company - it helps with the recovery process - in the right doses." She smoothed the blankets out over him. "Well, at least we can try for some company this month".

Remus felt himself smile wide. "I'll take it."

True to their word, James, Sirius and Peter returned at lunch time, arms laden with sandwiches, pumpkin juice and, curiously, a box of chocolate frogs.

"These are from Eliza Corsica," Sirius said by way of explanation. "She was worried about you."

Remus felt himself blush. "Really?"

"Yup." Sirius plopped down and began opening the box when Madam Pomfrey appeared.

"Well look at this," she said, a smile on her face. "Visitors, how nice."

"We brought lunch!" Peter said eagerly. "He can eat a nice cucumber sandwich, right?"

"If his stomach feels up to it," the matron said, winking at him. "Take it easy on him boys - he still needs his rest."

"Of course," the three chorused, which was far better behavior than Remus was used to seeing from James and Sirius.

"Listen, Remus," James said once the matron was out of earshot. "This thing with your mother - is it contagious? Maybe you shouldn't visit her quite so often."

Remus felt his heart sink. Of course James would want to talk about this. And anytime they talked about it he risked raising suspicions.

"This isn't what my mother has," he said. "Madam Pomfrey said it's just a regular illness. It will pass in a few days."

"But you always seem to come back worse for wear when you go home," James pressed. "What does your mother have?"

Remus drew a blank. He had never stopped to consider the details of his excuse. "It's a Muggle illness," he said quickly. "You won't have heard of it."

"You're certain it's not contagious?"

"Haven't you ever gotten sick?" Remus said a bit sharply. James, looking surprised at the tone of voice, backed down.

"All right then…" the boy said.

"Oi, Lupin, relax and have a chocolate frog," Sirius broke in, handing him one. "You feel good enough for chocolate, right?"

"I do love chocolate," Remus said, taking the frog and trying to regulate his pounding heart. He hadn't meant to snap at James - it had just popped out. He was nervous, but he couldn't let his friends realize that.

Thankfully, James dropped the subject when Peter suggested a game of Exploding Snap, and Remus settled into his bed, luxuriating in the feeling of being on the road to recovery and surrounded by friends.

/

A fortnight had passed since Remus' little bout of fever, and the four boys had continued their jaunts to the kitchen and other forbidden spaces with the casual disregard only children possess. The animosity with the Slytherins continued, and James and Sirius continued to develop their dueling skills, which were already far beyond those of the average first year. But James was growing bored and looking for a new disruption.

"I have a brilliant idea for Valentine's Day tomorrow," James said to his three friends.

"Does it involve chocolate?" Remus asked, earning a laugh from Sirius.

"You're going to have to get yourself a girlfriend for that, Lupin," James said. "Try Corsica." He winked as Remus blushed. "No, this involves pixies."

Remus sighed and turned away, grabbing a book off his nightstand, but Sirius leaned forward eagerly.

"Where do you plan to get pixies?"

"Professor McGilvary brought some in for his second years," James explained. "He's been keeping them in a cage in the classroom." James liked to scout out a mission before he presented it to the rest of the boys - the more information he had, the more excitable Sirius became, and it was harder for Remus to shoot him down. Peter, of course, always went along with everything and wasn't much of a concern.

"Oh, please tell me the plan is to set them loose. Pleaseeeee," Sirius, as James predicted, was already squirming with excitement.

"Of course, but not before turning them pink," James said, grinning. "Imagine it, little pink things zooming around grabbing people by the ears. It will be great!"

"How are you going to set them loose though?" Peter asked.

"With a little help from my dad of course," James said sagely. "If we move carefully, three of us will fit."

"But that means someone will be left behind," Peter said, a pout forming on his face already.

"I volunteer to be that person," Remus said calmly.

"Then it's settled," James said. "Tomorrow, we continue our campaign to take our place as the Kings of Chaos."

"We'll need to work on the name," Sirius commented as he snorted.

And so the next day before breakfast James, Sirius and Peter crowded under the invisibility cloak while Remus slept in.

"OK, Sirius will unlock the door and Petey, you stand guard while I turn the pixies pink. I've been practicing on fabric - it's not too difficult. After I do that, Sirius will unlock the cage and Petey, you'll want to duck when the pixies come flying out the door."

"What if someone comes and catches us?" Peter asked nervously.

"Sirius and I will stay under the cloak. If someone comes, tell them you're looking for Professor McGilvary because you're concerned about the essay we just turned in on basic hexes and their practical applications to defense."

"I am a tad worried about that essay…"

"Splendid, that will make it more believable," James told him. "Just make sure to speak nice and loud so Sirius and I hear you and can make our escape."

"Come on Potter, let's do this thing," Sirius said, the boys having reached the door. James nodded. "Alohomora," Sirius whispered. The classroom door lock clicked open at once. "Too easy." He grinned.

James stopped and blinked when he saw the wall. "Why does he have a moon chart in here?"

"I reckon for the third years. They're studying werewolves this semester. Now come on, don't get distracted."

The chart laid out the entire school year by calendar, each full moon marked with a bright red highlight. As James' eyes ran over it, something about those dates left him unsettled.

"Potter!"

Reminded of the task at hand, James turned away from the chart and turned his wand on the cage of pixies, which was currently covered in a cloth to keep them quiet. Sirius pulled off the cloth with a flourish.

"All right, you buggers, time for a little costume change…" James said.

But it seemed James had miscalculated one thing - he'd failed to practice the spell on actual living things. And so, when he began his spellwork, something curious happened.

"Umm...why are the pixies swelling up?" Sirius asked.

"Quiet, I can't concentrate," James hissed. Of course, it was a fair question. Instead of simply turning pink, the pixies were rapidly increasing in size as they turned a funny shade of purple. Transfiguration was a finicky skill, and apparently James had overestimated himself.

"Oh, professor! I was hoping to catch you before breakfast. I have a few questions about the hexes essay…"

"Damn!" James grabbed the invisibility cloak and threw it over Sirius and himself. The prank wasn't going according to plan.

"Wait!" Sirius whispered. "Alohomora!" He unlocked the cage, flicked open the door, then both boys tore off through the open door, hoping Peter's ramblings covered the noise of their escape.

When they were a safe distance away James stopped and pulled off the cloak. Despite the early hour, the boys had dressed for the day, correctly anticipating a possible need to escape.

"Merlin's beard!" They heard the professor shout from down the corridor. Then two rather large purple blurs buzzed by, inches from Sirius' face.

"Potter?"

"Yes, Black?"

"Did that pixie look rather more like, I don't know, a large bird than a small humanoid magical creature?"

"That it did."

"Do you suppose that a small humanoid magical creature resized to that of a large bird could do a fair bit more damage?"

"That it could."

The boys looked at each other in silence for a moment. James blinked. Sirius sighed. Then, they both burst out laughing hysterically.

"Bloody brilliant!"

/

Peter Pettigrew narrowly escaped losing an eye when an oversized purple pixie came rushing out of the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, straight at his face.

"Merlin's beard!" Professor McGilvary said, whipping out his wand and casting a shield charm just in time to save Peter from being mauled while the boy simultaneously dove to the ground, covering his head with his arms for protection.

Before Peter could do or say anything, seven more giant pixies came rushing through the door. Or maybe eight. It was hard to count while under attack.

"Oh dear. Forgive me, Mr. Pettigrew, but I need to go round those things up before they do any damage."

A shriek rang out, apparently from the main staircase down the hallway. The professor looked rather ill. "Oh my. Oh my. It may be too late."

The man gathered his robes in one hand and with his wand raised in the other, he took off full sprint down the hall.

Peter blinked, then slowly raised himself out of his protective position. James hadn't mentioned anything about making the pixies larger. Peter rather wished he'd been in on the details of the plan.

He stood up and brushed himself off, then headed toward the shrieks.

Before he found them, however, he overheard a familiar, and unwelcome voice.

"So you've done it?" Lucius Malfoy asked.

"It's done. My father permitted it when I turned 17."

"Brilliant!"

"Of course, we must keep this quiet for now. I'm sure they'll accept you into the ranks when your 17th birthday comes."

"I expect so," Malfoy said. "My father is already a champion of the cause."

"Indeed. Say what the hell is that?"

Peter realized as he'd stood frozen a purple pixie had dashed by, right in the direction of the Slytherins.

"Goddammit - it's in my hair, Rolph."

"Oh stand still and stop twitching! I'll get it."

"But-"

"Don't move." A moment passed. "Avada Kedavra!" A bright green light flashed through the hallway, and even though Peter didn't understand the words, a chill ran down his spine.

"Have you lost your mind?!"

"What, it worked."

Peter peeked around the corner and resisted the urge to gasp. The pixie was on the ground at Rodolphus Lestrange's feet, clearly dead. The aforementioned wizard touched it with the tip of his shoe.

"What is this thing?"

"It looks like an overgrown pixie. Hideous things," Malfoy said, smoothing his hair. "I still wish you hadn't used that curse so close to my head."

Lestrange just shrugged. "I have good aim. And no one saw."

"You're lucky, Rolph," Malfoy said. "Come on, let's get on to breakfast because the kids come searching for us. That Mulciber is nosey."

"Irritating little things. I can't wait to be done with them come summer."

"You have a year yet to go."

"Not if things go according to plan."

Peter had heard - and seen - quite enough at that point. He took off in the opposite direction from the older boys and ran into James and Sirius.

"You could have warned me you were going to grow the pixies," he grumbled when he saw them.

"No, Petey, we couldn't," Sirius told him, looking amused.

This irritated Peter. "Why not? I can keep a secret! You guys are always leaving me out - "

"No, no Petey, you don't understand," James broke in. "You see, it was an accident."

"Accident?" James was right. Peter didn't understand.

"The spell to turn them pink - well - it seems it was a tad bit trickier than I anticipated. I didn't practice on living creatures, and transfiguration is very finicky." James shrugged. "Still makes for a bit of fun though, am I right?"

Peter sighed. He could hear commotion coming from the direction of the staircases. With James and Sirius at his side, he was less nervous following in the path of the Slytherins.

As they approached the stairs, he could see large purple blurs flying around at lightning speeds. "It would be better if you could come up with a spell to keep them from attacking us."

"Now, now, sacrifices must be made for art - the art of troublemaking!" Sirius said as he threw an arm around Peter's shoulders. "Lighten up. Let's go find Lupin and get some breakfast."

Peter couldn't lighten up, not after what he'd seen. He knew he had to tell the others about it - the curse Lestrange had used was some kind of killing curse. But he was afraid to say something out in the open where someone may overhear.

Getting to breakfast proved harder than they thought. The overgrown pixies had taken to guarding the stairwell and dive bombing students as they tried to reach the Great Hall.

"Hee hee hee. Happy Valentine's Day!" Peeves cackled, contributing to the chaos by throwing rotting roses into the fray. A pair of unsuspecting Ravenclaws heading down the stairs screamed as the dead flowers sprinkled down on them, then screamed again when a pixie seized one of them by the hair.

Professor McGilvary had succeeded in freezing three of the creatures, but the remaining four zoomed around with reckless abandon. James and Sirius were laughing, but Peter felt anxious.

"What is the meaning of this?" Professor McGonagall's stern voice rang down the stairs, and Peter looked up to see the professor descending, wand aloft.

"I think it's someone's idea of a joke, Deputy Headmistress," Professor McGilvary said. He tried his luck with a smile. "Perhaps they were going for the idea of little cupids on Valentine's Day?"

"I fail to see the humor," the witch said dryly, freezing a pixie that was still attacking the poor Ravenclaw third-year on the staircase. "Where exactly where these pixies secured that it was so easy for someone to play a prank?"

The younger professor's smile dropped. "In my classroom, which was sealed with the standard spells of course."

McGonagall sighed as she froze another pixie. "This castle, professor, is full of children learning how to control their magic. I'm afraid the standard spells aren't quite good enough." She gave a pointed look to James and Sirius. "A talented first-year student would have little trouble breaking in, should the mood strike."

By now the stairwell was clogging up with students from both Gryffindor and Ravenclaw trying to head down to breakfast and wondering what the holdup was. Peter spotted Remus and waved frantically to get his attention. Remus waved back, but he was cut off from the other three by the crowd.

"I suppose I didn't consider that," Professor McGilvary said mildly, catching another pixie.

Professor McGonagall nodded. "Clearly." She flicked her wand to prevent another pixie attack from the remaining free creature. "Let's return these creatures to their rightful place and discuss who may have attempted such a foolish prank."

Peter felt his anxiety mounting. She knew. Of course she knew - she was Professor McGonagall. The only question was - could she prove it?

"She can't prove anything," Sirius said, as if reading Peter's mind.

"Of course she can't," James said lightly. "Though this didn't go exactly as I planned."

"Personally, for Valentine's Day, I would have gone with pink or red, not purple."

The boys jumped and turned around to see a grinning Gideon Prewett behind them.

"What in the world are you talking about?" Sirius said.

"Oh, I think you know," he said, ruffling Sirius' hair, much to the latter's disdain. "It's good to see you three getting into a healthy level of mischief as young boys should."

"You're only a few years older than us, Prewett," Sirius grumbled, trying to smooth his hair.

"Ahh, yes, but what a difference those few years make," he teased. Peter thought again of what he'd seen pass between Malfoy and Lestrange, and wondered if someone like Gideon also knew how to kill with a curse. But then again, Peter figured, even if Gideon did know, surely he wouldn't do it. "But hey, where's your fourth man?"

"Here." Remus had managed to slide through the crowd to reach them. "Professor McGonagall is pretty upset with Professor McGilvary you know. That was a bit cruel."

James shrugged. "He should house his magical creatures more responsibly. Children are curious by nature, you know."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Let's just go to breakfast."

And so the four first years plus Gideon all headed for the Great Hall, dodging Peeves and his rotten flowers.

"Professor McGilvary isn't going to be in trouble, is he?" Peter asked Remus. "You don't think he'll tell McGonagall about his finding me by his door, do you? If she hears I was there she'll guess the details for sure."

"Oh, stop worrying Petey, you're bringing me down," Sirius complained.

"McGilvary is a good bloke. He won't rat us out," James said, but Peter wasn't completely sure of that. James and Sirius had little to worry about being singled out - they made good grades and charmed the robes off everyone. Peter lacked those skills, and was growing increasingly concerned about the potential implications when the teachers figured out he was tagging along with the two troublemakers.

"I need to tell you lot something," Peter said once they were safely seated at the Gryffindor table. "But not now. But it's important."

James raised an eyebrow. "If it's important, tell us now."

Peter glanced over at the Fraser twins, who happened to be sitting nearby, and shook his head. "Later."

James looked at Sirius, who gave a shrug. "OK, later then."

But Peter spent the rest of the day carrying the guilt of knowing that something he'd been a part of caused the death of an innocent creature. It was a horrible burden for such a young child to bare.

/

Sirius Black had all but forgotten the horrors of his time home over the holidays amid all the mischief-making with James, and was therefore supremely unconcerned when he was called to Professor McGonagall's office later that day.

"I assume you know why I've called you here, Mr. Black," the deputy headmistress began in her even, unreadable tone.

"Haven't the foggiest, Professor," Sirius said lightly.

She glanced at him over her spectacles. "Your mother has requested leave for you this weekend so you might attend a family function."

"Family function?" Sirius had stopped reading his mother's letters, of which he received few, and had no idea what his professor could possibly be referring to.

"She was a bit spotty on the details, unfortunately," the witch told him. "Now, we can have you Floo home Friday after classes, from my office. You'll return Sunday afternoon, again to my office."

"No, that's all right, I'd rather stay at Hogwarts," Sirius told her, crossing his arms across his chest and planting his feet firmly. "There's no need for these accommodations."

His head of house regarded him carefully. "Unfortunately, Mr. Black, the decision for you to stay or go rests in the hands of your parents, not you. Surely you can muster the attention span to sit through whatever your mother has planned."

Sirius sighed dramatically. "Must I, Professor? I'll be home for the Easter holidays soon enough."

"I'm afraid I have little say in this matter, Mr. Black. Unless you have a compelling reason to stay?"

Sirius looked into his professor's eyes, and for a millisecond considered telling her what happened over the holiday. But the urge quickly passed. All families had problems, after all. He wouldn't dump his on this woman.

"Fine," he muttered. "I'll go."

"Excellent," she said, breaking their eye contact. "Come see me after classes on Friday."

"I suppose this is how Lupin pops home all the time then," Sirius said conversationally. "Just comes in here and uses the Floo."

"Mr. Lupin?" For a second Sirius would have sworn McGonagall looked confused, but the look passed so quickly he wasn't sure if he'd imagined it. "Of course. Floo is the quickest solution to transport students individually when the need arises. Though don't try it in the Common Room, Mr. Black. Most of the castle fireplaces are set specifically to only allow Floo calls, not full transports."

"Bummer."

The professor graced Sirius with a small smile then waved her hand to indicate the conversation was over.

He stood to leave, but as he turned his back she spoke again.

"And also, Mr. Black?"

"Yes, professor?"

"Tell Mr. Potter I'm disappointed with his spellwork on the pixies. The color changing was inconsistent and I suspect the size change was an accident. It was all a bit sloppy."

Sirius tensed and turned back to look at her, but she was already reviewing a parchment on her desk.

"I've no idea what you're talking about, professor," he said.

"Of course, Mr. Black. Now good day to you."

"So what did McGonagall want?" James asked when Sirius stepped out the door.

"I have to go home for a family function this weekend," Sirius told him. "It's just like my mother, pulling me out of school on a whim so she can parade me around like some kind of prize horse or something."

"What's the occasion?"

Sirius shrugged. "I didn't read her last letter. I'll have to look for it when we get back to the dormitory."

But before Sirius could even begin to search through the piles of debris around his bed, Peter delivered some alarming news.

"Lestrange and Malfoy killed one of the pixies," Peter burst out the moment the door shut behind the four boys that evening. "They used a curse. Acada...no...Avada Kedavra! And there was a green flash."

Sirius whipped around to stare at Peter, his mother's letter forgotten. "What?! Are you absolutely certain of what you saw? What you heard?" Sirius asked, rather more aggressively than he intended.

"Well, maybe not word for word, but the meaning of it I'm sure of. And the spell - I'm sure of that."

"The killing curse is illegal," James said, frowning. "I never imagined someone would be cavalier enough to use it here at Hogwarts."

"I told you Lestrange and Malfoy were bad news," Sirius grumbled. He felt a pit forming in his stomach. He'd read about spells to kill in one of the many questionable books littering his parents' library. The killing curse was incredibly dangerous - effective on all living things and difficult to block.

"We should report this," Remus said. "This goes beyond a simple schoolyard rivalry. This is -"

"Dangerous dark magic," James said, frowning.

"Well no shit," Sirius snapped. "It doesn't take a Ravenclaw to figure that out. But we can't simply report it - as Lupin here so naively suggests."

"Watch it, Black - " James said in warning.

Sirius ran both hands through his hair in frustration. "Look, we need evidence - hard evidence to make sure that if we report it, Lestrange gets booted out of Hogwarts. Short of that, it's not safe to report him."

"Can't we just trust the adults to handle it?" Peter asked. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"No. We can't," Sirius said, holding back the urge to yell at Peter for his ignorance.

"So, we need proof," James said matter-of-factly.

"Right," Sirius said, relieved he wasn't trying to argue the point. "We need the body."

"But won't Lestrange have disposed of it by now?" Remus asked

"Of course," Sirius said. "Which is why we can't report him, yet."

"For what?" Peter asked.

"For the next body."

After a fretful week keeping watch on Rodolphus Lestrange, Sirius returned home Friday. He was greeted curtly by his mother, who informed him only that dinner would be a late affair, and to be up and ready to leave the house the following morning at 9, wearing dress robes. She then left the house with Regulus for some unspecified occasion.

With no other information and without the entertainment of his friends, Sirius took to prowling the house Friday evening looking for ways to amuse himself.

"It's far too soon for our family to go public with this." Sirius' ears snapped to the sound of his grandmother's voice. Her tone was serious. Careful to avoid detection, he crept closer to the door of the drawing room. His grandfather Pollux and grandmother Irma did not actually live in the house, but they were frequent visitors.

"Irma, of course we're not going public. We're merely aligning ourselves with the Lestranges-"

"Who are far less cautious than you, Pollux. Can they really be trusted to play by the rules on this?"

"Bella assures me they can be."

"Bella is just a girl."

"A girl that will make this family proud, Irma. The work she's doing - it's for a greater purpose."

Sirius was intrigued. As far as he knew, his cousin did little more than spend her father's money on travel and expensive clothing while she went off _**galavanting**_ with her friends. What work were they speaking of?

"It's dangerous, and not befitting of a woman of her station."

"It's brave, my dear. And I can't imagine it will continue once Rodolphus graduates and they start a family."

"Are you sure the boy is good enough for our granddaughter?"

"Darling - would I allow it if I weren't sure it was what was best for our family? For our blood?"

Sirius heard his grandmother sniff, but without seeing her face he couldn't be sure if it was a sniff of disdain or a different emotion. "And you really think this man has the right idea? I have a hard time taking him seriously, calling himself Vold-"

"Hush! Do not speak the name!" There was an urgency in the man's voice that surprised Sirius. What harm could it be to speak a name?

"Oh Pollux, don't be ridiculous."

"It's not ridiculous. We're not meant to know the name. The man is highly secretive. Even Bella doesn't know the names of many of his other operatives. You must act as though you know nothing."

"Even as we finance them?"

"Yes, dear. Just as you urge caution about going public about our position, I urge caution about speaking the specifics, even to our friends."

"Even as Arcturus writes those columns for the paper?"

"He is working politically for us. And while he does that, those younger and more able than us will work the other angle."

"I don't like the idea of my grandchildren being around such violence."

"Sometimes violence is the only way to revolution, dear. If everything goes as planned, we'll have created a better future for them, and their children."

"Do you honestly believe that?"

"I do. The purity of blood must be preserved at all costs."

Sirius had heard enough. He turned on his heel and retreated to his bedroom upstairs. In a moment's frustration, he slammed the door as hard as he could.

Adults often assume children aren't capable of understanding certain topics. Death. Politics. War. Yes, they assume children won't understand, or that they'll be afraid. But the truth is children understand far more than adults give them credit for.

Sirius was a Black. He knew that the family name meant something.

He'd suspected it for a while now, and now he knew for sure. It meant he was on the wrong side.


	21. Threats, Intimidation and Redirection

"Dragging a child out of school to suit her own agenda. It's not right, I tell you." James had been complaining about Sirius' absence from the moment class ended.

"Parents are permitted to bring their children home when needed," Remus said, a bit defensively.

"Oh Lupin, don't pretend it's the same as when you go home," James said. "You go home to tend to your sick mother. Sirius was just pulled out of school for a family party."

"You don't know that," Peter argued. "It could be a wedding, or a funeral, or -"

"If it were a funeral or a wedding it would have been announced in the Daily Prophet," James said rejecting the idea. "No - his mother is just bringing him home because she can."

"Maybe she misses him," Peter suggested.

"Tosh. We were just home for the Christmas holiday and we'll be back for the Easter holidays soon enough."

"Why does it bother you so much, James?" Remus asked as he reached for some roasted potatoes.

"It's unjust for a parent to lord their power over their kid like that," James told him. But his rant was cut off when Eliza Corsica, Mary MacDonald and Lily Evans sat down for dinner.

"Hello Remus, James, Peter." Eliza smiled. "Where's Sirius?"

James wasn't sure what to make of Eliza. Earlier in the year he thought she'd fancied Sirius, but then she'd started asking after Remus. Girls were confusing.

"He had to go home for a family event," Remus told them.

Eliza frowned. "Is that allowed?"

"It's not unheard of, but it is unusual," James told her.

Lily sniffed. "I'm sure a family like his thinks they can do whatever they want, no matter what the rule. I don't think it's right to pull a student away like that. Can't family events be planned during the holidays?"

"That's what I'm saying!" James said, excited she agreed. Lily, however, looked rather surprised they were in agreement.

"Has his grandfather written any other nasty articles lately?" She asked.

"Here we go again," James heard Peter mutter to Remus. But James was on the offensive already.

"You need to stop judging Sirius for his family," James told her. "You have him all wrong."

"Do I though?" She asked. "Do you deny he's privileged, arrogant and a bit of a bully? Because that's certainly how he comes off in class"

"So growing up well-provided for financially for is a crime now, is it?" James shot back. "And he's not arrogant, he's simply confident in class. And who does he bully? Your little pal Snape?"

Lily rolled her eyes, which only served to frustrate James further. "You would defend him. You're just the same as him."

This, especially coming from a girl he somewhat fancied, infuriated James. How could she so fundamentally misunderstand him? "I won't apologize for my parents having money," he told her. "I'll have you know my father worked hard for years to restore the family fortune. Should a man not enjoy the fruits of his labors? Should a man not provide for his family?" He was gaining steam, and stood up on the bench. "And what you call arrogance, I call confidence." He pounded a fist on his chest dramatically. "Should a man not hold himself in high esteem? Should a man not be proud of his talents - and use them? What kind of world is it, when a man is expected to make himself small? What kind of world, I ask you?"

Eliza, Mary and Peter were laughing about his little performance, but Remus looked embarrassed and Lily still looked unimpressed. "Oh, get down Potter, you're making a scene," she said.

"Should a man stand down so easily when his character is questioned?" James shouted. He was drawing attention from the entire table now, and he was getting a kick out of it.

"James…" Remus said.

"No Lupin. I will not be silenced!" James raised his fist into the air. "I may be but a lowly first-year student, but I have dreams you know. A man who dreams big must live big to live up to them! Call it arrogance, call it impetuousness - call it whatever you like. But one day I'll show you."

Lily shook her head. "What are you even talking about?"

James grinned at her. "You may not understand now, but one day you'll understand just how amazing I am."

"Weren't we talking about Sirius?" Peter asked, looking confused.

"Down from the bench, Potter," Kingsley Shacklebolt called from down the table. "And hush up, some of us are trying to enjoy dinner."

"Sir, yes sir," James said, hopping down and saluting. He then turned his most charming smile on Lily Evans. "You know, Evans, I'm starting to get the impression you don't think much of me and my friends."

"Well now that's not fair. I haven't any problem with Remus or Peter."

Remus ducked his head, looking terribly embarrassed, but Peter laughed.

"So you strike now, when my dear friend Sirius is missing in action and thus not here to defend his honor, nor mine own."

"You're talking just for the sake of hearing your own voice, aren't you?" she said.

James sighed. It was clear he wouldn't change her mind in a day. "Believe what you want for now, Evans," he told her. "But I'll convince you to come 'round one day."

"That seems unlikely," she told him, turning away and serving herself some pumpkin juice. But James resolved not to let it bother him. In fact, Lily's attitude only made her more intriguing as far as he was concerned. Besides, he was James Potter. He'd charm her eventually.

But James Potter didn't feel quite right without his partner in crime. He spent a perfectly good Friday night in the library with Remus and Peter, doing homework. James Potter, doing homework on Friday night!

On Saturday, resolved not to waste another day away being studious, James sought out Flavius McLaggen and begged permission to watch Gryffindor Quidditch practice

The fifth year sighed. "You can watch - but no flying, and no distracting my players - understood?"

"You won't even know I'm there," James promised.

James had a tendency to lie to get what he wanted. It was a flaw he knew about, and he was working on bettering himself. Just not that day.

"No, no your middle Chaser should fly low while the one on the left goes in for the shot!" James cried as the team ran the play. "And why is the Seeker watching the play? You could miss the snitch that way!" He stood at the top of the stands waving his hands emphatically.

Flavius, who played Keeper, flew down and landed next to him. "Potter, last I checked first-years weren't even allowed on the team, which means you couldn't possibly be the captain here."

"I'm just calling it as I see it, Cap," James told him. "I reckon you need a good team manager."

"What I need is a practice field clear of distractions."

"But - "

"Find something else to occupy your time."

"McLaggen -"

"Go," the older boy told him, pointing back toward the castle.

"Fine, fine, no need to get your knickers in a twist," James mumbled, climbing down from the stands. Flavius flew off to rejoin his team, leaving the younger boy to his own devices when he reached the ground.

James sighed and looked around for inspiration. It struck in the form of the Whomping Willow.

For months now James had been pushing his friends to take a stab at touching the trunk, but they kept blowing him off. Well, James Potter would be a solitary explorer today.

Cautiously, he approached the tree, stopping when he saw it shiver suspiciously. He scanned the area carefully and this time he was sure of what he saw. Footprints in the mud. Two sets, actually. A boy and a girl, if he had to guess based on the sizes.

"I knew it," he said to himself. His eyes followed the tracks, which appeared to run behind the tree. But just how did they get there without being hit? There had to be some trick to it.

He picked a pebble up off the ground and tossed it toward the trunk. Predictably, the willow lashed out, smacking the tiny stone out of the air. James wondered if he could distract the tree with enough pebbles. So he began grabbing handfuls of rocks and pitching them at the tree.

This, however, only proved to make the tree angry. It swung and danced its branches all around, throwing up mud and dirt. But James was inspired now, and so he kept throwing things toward the base of the tree.

Then, all of a sudden, the tree stopped moving completely. Not even a shiver.

"Hmm…"

James wasn't sure how it happened. Obviously, he'd hit some kind of sweet spot. He wasn't about to waste the opportunity. He rushed under the tree, following the footprints around the base until the stopped at a curious little alcove. Eagerly, he crawled in and took a look around.

It appeared he was under the tree, sheltered by its massive roots. The space was relatively small - only really big enough for two or three adults. It was the perfect hiding place - a natural little cave. And judging by the condition of it, someone - a couple, James guessed - had already found it and made use of it.

He was excited by the discovery. But now, he had to figure out how he froze the tree. Exploring was really a bit of a trial and error sort of thing.

Once he figured the trick out, he would report back to Remus and Peter. Maybe he could even convince them to come down and take a look for themselves.

Feeling smug, he crawled back out and returned to the front of the tree. He just had to figure out the sweet spot.

/

Remus felt guilty about it, but he was rather relieved when James disappeared Saturday. His friend had been watching him very closely ever since the embarrassing incident on the staircase, constantly questioning him on how he felt and trying to touch his forehead to check his temperature. Remus knew it came from a good place, but James had a way of refusing to back down when he decided action had to be taken, and Remus was getting sick and tired of being asked if he was sick or tired.

And so Saturday morning Remus finally was able to relax with a book while Peter snoozed and James ventured off to Merlin knows where. He even got a solid two hours of reading in before the door burst open and James Potter walked into the dormitory, covered in mud and scratches and with twigs in his already messy hair.

"What in the world have you been up to?" Remus asked, grinning at the spectacle.

"Adventure, my dear Remus," James said dramatically, shaking his hair out. He grinned back at him. "I finally found the secret behind the Whomping Willow!"

It was only thanks to many years of holding a poker face that Remus was able to prevent the grin from sliding off his face. "What do you mean?" he asked cautiously, willing himself not to panic.

"There's an alcove under the tree!" James exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air. "I'm not the first one there, surely - there were footprints leading to and from it."

"How did you get close enough to get under the tree?" Remus asked, his voice barely a whisper.

"There's a knot that freezes the tree!" James said, oblivious to Remus' rising heart rate. "It took a few tries to find it and - "

The black-haired boy's face suddenly swam in front of Remus, who knew his panic was taking over. James knew the secret of the tree. And others did too - others had used a secret hiding place just feet from the entrance to the tunnel where Remus escaped to the Shrieking Shack every month. What if someone had been hiding there one evening when he and Madam Pomfrey had been heading to the shack?

Remus dropped his book and closed his eyes, taking deep breaths to try to relax. But his whole body was shaking and he knew James had noticed.

"Lupin? Are you well?" James crawled onto the bed. Remus' chest felt like it was on fire. He was panicking, he realized, truly panicking. It was ridiculous - he'd never fallen apart like this before. But he felt like he couldn't breathe.

"My chest. It hurts." He managed to gasp out.

"Peter!" James yelled, throwing something toward the other boy, who was still in bed. "Wake up and get Madam Pomfrey, now!"

""Whaddayah saying?" Peter asked groggily.

"Go, now!" James demanded in a voice that made it clear he was in command. "Remus, just take deep breaths, okay?" James switched to his given name. He must look really bad.

Remus was trying to calm down, but the fear he felt coupled with another round of humiliation was making it hard to breathe and also hard to see, for he was crying tears of frustration.

"I'll get you some water - yes, water!" James said, dashing into the washroom and dashing out a moment later with a glass full. Remus tried to take it, but his shaking hands caused the water to splash all over the bed.

"I hate this!" He burst out, uncharacteristically angry. He threw the glass and turned away from James, trying to take deep breaths.

James didn't say anything else, but Remus could feel him staring. He just kept trying to breathe, wondering what was happening to him. Was it because of the wolf? Was his lycanthropy taking over his body in some way, even now, nowhere near the full moon?

Those thoughts only made it worse.

After what seemed like an eternity, Peter returned with Madam Pomfrey on his heels. She waved his wand and Remus felt a strange sensation. He realized it was the matron's diagnostic spell.

"Panic attack," she said sharply. "You'll need a calming draught, dear." She waved her wand and conjured a small bottle.

"Panic attack?" James repeated. Remus choked down a swig of the potion the matron held up to his lips. Almost immediately, the tightness in his chest loosened.

"Yes. Not uncommon for adolescents, really," the matron said. "Would you like to come down to the Hospital Wing for a bit?"

Remus shook his head. His hands were still shaking, though he was now able to control the trembling.

"But what causes a panic attack? We were just sitting here talking!" James said.

"Sometimes the trigger has nothing to do with the current environment. Sometimes it does. Unfortunately neither wizards nor muggles have put a great deal of thought into the matter of mental health." She smiled at Remus. "I wouldn't worry over it dear. Why don't you come check in with me later once your vitals stabilize to make sure there's no underlying cause that I'm missing? It will only take a moment then you can return to your Saturday."

Remus knew she had missed nothing, and he also knew exactly what had triggered his attack, and suspected the matron wanted to know as well. Here she was giving him the perfect excuse to sneak away from his friends later to discuss. He was grateful. "Thank you, ma'am. I'll stop by on the way down to supper."

"Good boy," she said. "Now I'll leave you so Mr. Pettigrew here can have the privacy to change out of those pajamas. You know dear, it's nearly noon…"

Peter flushed scarlet and Remus again felt a rush of appreciation for the matron for her unique skill in diffusing and deflecting a situation.

Unfortunately, James Potter was incredibly shrewd, and the performance, skilled as it was, wasn't perfect. Once the witch left, he turned to Remus.

"You know, she's much easier on you than any other student. Anyone else she'd have dragged down to the hospital wing for observation. Why is that?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Remus insisted.

"No? Yesterday Philomena Bletchley in third year burned her finger in Potions and Pomfrey made her take dinner in the Hospital Wing to make sure the balm she used worked and that the burn didn't fester."

"That's easily explained. It may have looked like a simple burn but the matron needed to ensure a stray splash of potion didn't hit the injury. And how do you know what goes on in third year potions?"

"The same way I know Ophelia Orbaucker in seventh year slipped down the stairs Thursday and Pomfrey made her stay overnight for observation."

"Maybe she was concerned she hit her head."

"She fell on her bum."

"Maybe she's pregnant." Remus made a silent apology to Ophelia.

James gasped. "With William Alderton's baby? There's been gossip…"

William Alderton was a seventh year Gryffindor. Remus hasn't intended to start a rumor, but the idea completely distracted James, so he let the other boy run with it. Before supper, half of Gryffindor was buzzing with the dubious news that Ophelia Orbaucker in Hufflepuff was carrying William's baby and that she was due in August.

Remus slipped down to the hospital wing as promised, and once he was sure he was clear, burst out with his concerns to Madam Pomfrey.

"James has figured out how to freeze the willow! And someone else did before him - there's an alcove underneath, a perfect hideout he says - what if someone's seen us - what if they follow?!"

"Calm down dear, and speak slowly so I understand."

"What's not to understand?! We've been compromised!" How could she not be alarmed by this news.

"We've hardly been compromised, dear. A Whomping Willow is a species studied by university herbologists. It's entirely possible a seventh year student interested in the subject came across the information that the trees were used as hideaways during Goblin Rebellions, and set out to find a way to do it themselves.

"Is that supposed to comfort me?" Remus sat on a bed and tore at his hair. "What if they find the passageway?"

"The passageway is protected by more than just a bush, dear," the witch said gently. "Did you really think we would leave your safety, and the safety of others, to chance?"

"What do you mean?"

She smiled at him. "The passageway cannot be simply stumbled upon. The Headmaster cast a spell - a rather powerful and complex one. The other people who can find the passageway are people who already know it's there."

"What if someone sees us go down it, though?" Remus asked. "Then they would know it's there."

"Now I see you doubt by own skills," she told him, frowning. "Do you really believe I haven't taken precautions against such a thing? I always cast Homenum Revelio before we head down."

"I've never heard you cast a spell, though," Remus said, still struggling to understand.

"You will learn non-verbal magic in sixth year," she told him. "Healers often cast non-verbally - it's faster. And during large-scale disaster calls, a spell to reveal a human presence is essential to find victims quickly." She smiled at him again. "Have I calmed your fears?"

"A bit," Remus admitted. "But James - "

"Was clearly never taught the old adage curiosity killed the cat," the matron put in. "I could ban him from the tree again, but that would only make it more appealing. But I have a suggestion. "Why don't you set James on a mission to distract attention from your own concerns?"

"What do you mean?"

She smiled, this time mischievously, and though she was a full-grown witch with no resemblance, Remus was suddenly strongly reminded both of James and of Sirius. "You need a plan that will leave him focused, then, once complete, make him believe there is nothing more to be found there and get him away from the willow. Why don't you suggest to him that you catch the couple that's been hiding under there?"

It was unlike Remus to engage in the type of behavior that would threaten someone else's privacy. But he had to protect his secret at all costs.

"That could work…" he said, wheels turning. "That could work well…"

/

It was an engagement ceremony.

Bellatrix Black and Rodolphus Lestrange. That's what Sirius had been pulled away from school to attend. Narcissa and Andromeda had also been pulled, though they looked far more cheerful about it than he did.

The 12-year-old fidgeted unhappily in his dress robes. Engagement ceremonies between ancient houses were long and dull affairs. In the case of he Blacks and the Lestranges, they were also swirling with dark connotations and blood pacts.

He did not officially have to be there, but as heir to the Black family name, it was expected. And though Bellatrix was a cousin, not a sister, and years older than he, he was still expected to be part of the handing off ceremony, for one day he would be head of the Black family.

It was all rather miserable for him. Knowing what he now knew about Rolph's activities in school, he fervently hoped the boy - now a man - would not return for a seventh year. But at the same time, he wondered why their families were rushing into the engagement when Rolph wasn't even finished with his sixth year - couldn't it have at least waited until summer?

"Isn't love grand?" Andromeda whispered teasingly in his ear. He rolled his eyes.

"How much longer do we have to stand here? My feet hurt."

"At least you're not in heels," she retorted. "I believe all that's left is the blood-letting. Just a small cut on the palm of the hand for the engagement, a much deeper one from the wrist for the marriage."

"Sounds like something out of the dark ages," he grumbled.

"It is," she told him. He looked up at her to make sure she wasn't lying, but her face told him she was serious.

"You're not going to go through this whole charade someday, are you?" He asked her, still keeping his voice low.

She shrugged. "I suppose that depends on whether Daddy approves of my choice."

Sirius sniffed. "You don't really think you'll get to pick, do you? I've never seen you show much interest in anyone."

She glanced down at him out of the corner of her eye. "It will all come down to willpower," she told him. "Love and willpower."

Something about the way she said it left Sirius unsettled.

After the ceremony finally winded down the two families sat down to an elegant brunch. Sirius found himself placed between Andromeda and Narcissa, with Regulus across the table. His younger brother, who he'd hardly seen over Christmas break due to his punishments, peppered him with questions about Hogwarts.

"What is the Gryffindor common room like, Sirius? Is it also under the lake?"

"It's in a tower," Sirius told him. Regulus wrinkled his nose.

"So you have to take all those stairs just to get back to the common room at night?"

"And more into the dormitory," Sirius told him.

"Gryffindors are like dogs. They need to run off excess energy, Reggie," Narcissa told him. Sirius turned to glare at her, and Andromeda cleared her throat.

"What?" Narcissa said. "I rather like dogs. They're cute as puppies. As long as they're trained up all right, they turn out just fine." She looked Sirius in the eye. "Remember that, dear cousin."

Sirius resisted the urge to roll his eyes (he did a lot of that when at home) and stabbed his sausage with a bit more force than necessary.

"What's the food at Hogwarts like?" Regulus jumped in with more questions.

"It's good - just like Dromeda and Cissy say, and Bella said before them," he told his younger brother.

"But what if they don't ever serve my favorite foods? Or what if I get hungry and it's not mealtime?"

"Then you can slip down to the kitchens and ask the house elves to whip you something up," Sirius said without thinking.

"You sneak into the kitchens?" Narcissa asked, a bit sharply. "Why not just call for a house elf to come to your common room?"

"You know, that never occured to me…" Sirius said.

"It never occured to you to call on a servant?" The blonde looked amused. "And you've never seen anyone else in Gryffindor do it?"

"Well the house elves aren't really our servants - they're servants of Hogwarts."

"And you're a student at Hogwarts," Narcissa said, as if that settled the matter. "They are there to serve you. There's no need for you to wander down to the servants' level just for a snack. Really Sirius...what are they teaching you in that house?"

"Now Cissy," Dromeda jumped in, again playing peacemaker. "Sirius has always liked to explore. There's no harm in young boys having a little adventure down to the kitchens once in awhile."

"Speaking of young boys - did you know that little Lupin boy you hang out with is a half-blood? You should really find better friends."

Sirius thought of Remus, and how he was always there with a comforting word or a chocolate bar, and felt his temper flare. "My friends are just fine, thanks."

"But if your mother knew -"

"And that is why we're going to keep our voices down and not tell Auntie anything," Dromeda said, looking first at Cissy then at Regulus. "When you were a first year you hung out with Celia Hermes because you thought she was related to the designer. Let him test the waters for himself. He'll decide for himself if the Lupin boy is worth keeping around."

Dromeda had said it coldly, but Sirius knew she was actually on his side.

"Well what about that James Potter? He's so rude."

"James Potter?" Sirius' father had overheard. "That's the son of Fleamont Potter that we saw you with getting on the train, correct?"

Sirius nodded, hating Cissy and her loud mouth. But thankfully his father was several cups of champagne in and feeling friendly. "Sirius, m'boy, I know the pureblood pickings are slim in Gryffindor house. I suppose you could do worse than Potter - they fell from grace last generation, but I understand Fleamont has worked to fix the finances."

"He created Sleekeazy's Hair Potion," Sirius said quickly, wishing to change subjects.

"He did?" Even Narcissa looked impressed. "I love that potion - I use it at least once a week."

"Clearly it works, then," Dromeda said, running a hand through her sister's hair playfully. "Look how beautiful you are."

Narcissa loved praise, and this distracted her from any further criticism of Sirius. The conversation at the table flowed freely and nothing notable happened until everyone rose to leave.

The elder LeStranges, distracted by conversation with their future daughter-in-law, did not seem to notice when their son approached Sirius.

"We're to be family soon," he said. "It would be nice if we could put our differences aside, don't you think?"

"Whatever differences are you talking about?" Sirius said defiantly, knowing he was safe from harm, at least here.

Rodolphus narrowed his eyes. "You may only be a first year, and I'm sure you're feeling safe and secure locked away at Hogwarts, but someday you'll graduate and reenter this world - the real world. Don't let your school years, and your mudblood and half-blood schoolmates, make you forget where you actually come from. You'll want to come back to us someday. And, if you have the right attitude, we'll be happy to take you back with open arms."

Sirius felt rage burn in his belly. "And if I don't?"

Rolph chuckled. "Well, then Hogwarts and Gryffindor house won't be there to protect you."

The burn in Sirius' belly intensified. "People will get hurt, won't they?"

"Ahh, so you're smarter than you look," the older wizard said. "Sometimes, violence is the key to getting what you want. But if you're on the right side, you won't have to worry about that." He turned to follow his parents out the door.

"We'll see about right and wrong sides," Sirius hissed when he was out of sight.

/

Peter had been sticking to the Gryffindor common room as much as possible after Friday's events. When he was forced to leave, he stuck as close to Remus or James as possible.

It was a weird weekend. Sirius was missing, which meant James was even more restless and reckless than usual, shooting off spells at every Slytherin that walked by, and at one point missing and hitting an unfortunate Hufflepuff who had to be rushed to the hospital wing when his tongue grew so large he started choking.

Then there was Remus. On Saturday the sandy-haired boy had some kind of attack. The matron had assured them it was minor, but it had been rather frightening, and Peter had, once again, felt entirely useless. And even though there were not supposed to be any residual effects, Remus had seemed on edge, and the boy normally so patient and understanding seemed to be snapping at James for every little thing.

"You can't just go shooting hexes off indiscriminately. It's dangerous," Remus told James after the incident with the Hufflepuff.

"Remus, there are always casualties in any war," James told him.

"Yes, but we're students at school, not soldiers at war. All this silly spell-casting doesn't make you a warrior, it makes you a bully."

"The Slytherins started it," James grumbled back. "You know how they are with Sirius."

"So two wrongs make a right?"

"In this case, it makes justice."

Peter could see this point in this, especially after what he saw Rodolphus Lestrange pull, but it apparently frustrated Remus, who stormed off to check in with Madam Pomfrey before supper.

When Remus returned he was in a better mood, but asked an entirely un-Remus-like question.

"Do you know who it was down there under the willow, James?"

The question delighted James. "No - there were just footprints - nothing really identifiable. But I was thinking we could stake it out!"

"Tonight?" Peter broke in, dreading the thought of standing outside and exposed on a dark February night when there were murderous Slytherins about. Surely Remus would talk sense into James and reject this mad plan.

"It's supposed to snow tonight, James. I doubt anyone will be sneaking off for a romantic rendezvous. Plus we'll leave footprints, even under the cloak."

Thank god for Remus, Peter thought. Only, it almost seemed as though Remus was only rejecting the plan as it applied to the weather...

"We'll have to wait until the snow melts," Remus said. "Then we can try for a stakeout."

What?! Remus was always the reasonable one. Perhaps that attack had done something to frazzle his brain.

"Are you sure it's a good idea to stake out the willow looking for older students?" Peter asked anxiously. "I mean, what if they don't take kindly to being spied on."

"They'll never see us under the cloak," James told him.

"But this is ridiculous!" Peter exploded. "You yourself keep pointing out what the Slytherins do. What if it's a Slytherin couple? What if, while we're hiding out where no one else goes, hidden under a cloak where no one else can see us, our enemies come across us?!"

"Petey, I think you're overre-"

"I'm not overreacting! Not everyone is as powerful a spellcaster as you, James."

"But Peter, we'd all be together. We'd have your back," Remus broke in.

"Whose side are you on, anyway, Remus?" Peter asked him angrily. "You've never been interested in this kind of mischief before."

Remus looked ashamed, but James jumped back in. "Petey, it's just a spot of fun. If you don't want to come along, that's fine, but it's hardly dangerous."

"You always say that."

"Because it's true!" James insisted. "What's the point in being young if you don't let your guard down and do something silly once in a while?"

"It's the letting our guard down part I have a problem with."

"Peter, what harm could come of this?" Remus asked.

Peter stared down his friend. This was not like Remus at all. But at the same time, Remus was the only one who'd never led him into a dangerous situation. Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe Remus was just trying to entertain James while Sirius was gone. Besides, his protest would never stop James - James was never particularly concerned with anyone's opinion but his own.

Peter sighed. "But I don't have to sit out in the snow tomorrow?"

"No, no, Remus has a point about the tracks," James said. "I should really figure out a spell to fix that problem…"

"You could do research at the library while Peter and I finish up our Transfiguration essays," Remus suggested.

Ah, yes. This was the Remus Peter knew. He breathed a sigh of relief.

It wasn't until much later that night, when he was snuggled up in bed, that Peter really began to wonder over Remus' behavior. It wasn't that Remus didn't enjoy fun, and even a little mischief - Peter knew there was a bit of a troublemaker under the studious exterior - one that Sirius and James were trying very hard to draw out. But spying simply to have a piece of gossip - that was more of a James thing. James liked to know everything about everyone and tell everybody. Remus was more willing to allow for a little privacy. That was why the suggestion was so strange.

The logical solution, of course, was the one Peter came up with earlier - that Remus was trying to entertain James. But surely someone as bright as Remus could have been more creative. And Remus was always warning them away from the willow. Why had that changed?

It didn't add up in Peter's head, but his bed was comfortable, and soon he found himself drifting off to sleep, the mystery all but forgotten.


	22. On a Starry Night

Sirius returned with news of his cousin's engagement and a renewed fire in him to wage war against Slytherin. James, thrilled to have his partner in crime back, chose to ignore the fact that Sirius also returned rather sullen, but refused to discuss the reason for his black mood. So James set out to distract him.

"Why do you suppose Lupin always changes in the washroom or behind his curtains?" James asked to no one in particular one night when the subject in question was down at the library studying yet again.

Sirius looked away from the makeshift fireworks he was trying to fashion and considered the question thoughtfully. "You know, that is a bit odd."

"Maybe he's got a strange birthmark?" Peter suggested.

"Nah, Lupin doesn't seem the vain type to worry about something silly like that," Sirius said, dismissing the theory

"He says he's shy," Peter said defensively.

James thought on this a moment. It was true that Remus was the quietest of the group, and the least likely to draw attention to himself. It was also true that the boy sometimes seemed to draw into himself from time to time, though James had always chalked that up to the idea that Remus was thinking about some new concept he learned in class while tuning out James and Sirius as they prattled on about their latest scheme.

"It must be awfully inconvenient to be shy," James said, thinking of how difficult it would be to balance on the bed while getting dressed.

Sirius barked with laughter. "Of course the great James Potter wouldn't know the first thing about being shy," he teased.

James grinned and threw a pillow at the larger boy playfully. "You're one to talk. Personally I could do with a little less Sirius Black in the dormitory. " James was referring to the other boy's habit of lounging in nothing but his underthings before bed.

"My body is a glorious creation," Sirius said dramatically, standing up and gesturing at it. "You should count yourselves lucky to witness such a handsome wonder. "

Peter giggled and James rolled his eyes. It was true that Sirius was the tallest of them, and at 12 years old he was already hard with muscles that hinted at an adult form. James, though also athletic, was a more wiry build, and was slightly shorter. Peter was still pudgy with baby fat and Remus was rather bony in a way that made him look underfed, though James had seen the boy devour 15 sausages in one sitting.

"Shove off," James said impishly. "All I see is a pureblood git with a large head."

Apparently this had been the wrong thing to say because hurt flashed across Sirius's face and James immediately cursed himself for touching a soft spot.

"I can't help my pedigree," Sirius grumbled.

"That was rather rude, James. "

The boy jumped at the sound of Remus Lupin's voice - he hadn't heard the dormitory door open.

"Aww, come on now, I didn't mean anything by it." James may have been earning a reputation as an arrogant prankster with a sharp tongue, but he would never intentionally turn that tongue on a friend. Plus, Sirius was no fun when he got into his dark moods. At present, he had a grumpy look on his face now and was sitting on the edge of the bed with his arms crossed.

"Your body is spectacular as a Greek statue and I'm honored to sleep next to such greatness," James said. He bowed deeply, hoping to smooth over the gaff.

It seemed to work, because Sirius grinned. "Damn right."

"How was your studying Remus?" Peter piped up, trying to re-enter the conversation

"Fine. You know you guys could stand to do a bit more studying," he said, sounding very much like a mother scolding her children. "Exams are coming up."

Sirius groaned. "We have two months or so yet. Don't get your knickers in a twist."

"Besides, have you seen my skills in Transfiguration?" James pointed out. "I haven't studied a lick and I'm top of the class!" James was quite proud of this fact - Transfiguration was his mother's favorite subject and he was looking forward to showing off his marks.

"Too bad you're not that good at Charms," Sirius snickered.

Remus sighed, sounding defeated. "Whatever you say."

"Quite right. And I say we discuss my latest plan for a nighttime escapade," James broke into a wicked grin. "I've been hearing rumors of a secret area on the third floor. "

"I suppose your plan is to drag us from our warm beds in the dead of night to go find it?" Remus said, sounding tired.

"What better way to spend a Tuesday night?" James said brightly. "You gents in?"

"Well of course!" Sirius said. He was back on the floor fiddling with his fireworks.

"Petey?" James turned to the other boy, already knowing he would go along with the plan.

"Yes!" He squeaked.

James turned to Remus - the only one that ever took some convincing. Remus had been more agreeable as of late, keeping James company during stakeouts of the Whomping Willow, which, thus far had amounted to nothing. This time, James slowly managed to win the boy over, with help from the invisibility cloak, which offered a certain level of insurance that they wouldn't be caught. "Well?"

The other boy sighed "Of course I'm in."

James grinned and rubbed his hands together. "Excellent."

Three hours later they were standing on a staircase between the fourth and third floors.

"How exactly do we get to this secret area?" Remus asked, keeping his voice to a whisper.

James smirked "That's the fun part," he said. "It's on that side." He pointed down to a thin ledge that wasn't attached to any staircase.

Remus regarded him skeptically even as Sirius let out a whoop of excitement. "How do you propose we get there?"

"We JUMP, of course!" Sirius said in a voice far too loud for stealth. "Brilliant Potter!"

James grinned, pleased with the approval. Peter whimpered beside him, but he was ignored.

Remus looked exasperated, his face lit by moonlight shining through a stained glass window. "You'll never make that."

"Watch me," Sirius said, a foot already over the staircase railing. Before anyone could stop him (and Remus indeed tried to grab his robes) he was flying off the stairs.

"I can't watch!" Peter cried, hiding his face in his hands. James and Remus, in contrast, watched intently. It seemed to happen in slow motion. Sirius moved with a special grace the other three lacked, even free-falling through the air. Miraculously, he made the ledge, landing deftly in a squat. He turned around and took a bow.

"See anything?" James asked eagerly. He was slightly miffed Sirius had taken the plunge when the whole thing had been his idea, but he couldn't blame his friend for acting rashly in a moment of excitement.

"Lumos." Sirius lit his wand to inspect the area. "There's some kind of passage here, but it looks like we'll have to crawl," he said.

"I don't suppose there's any chance of convincing you that this is wildly dangerous now," Remus commented.

"Of course it's dangerous, mate. That's why it's fun!" With that, James swung a leg over the railing, imitating Sirius. Remus hissed but didn't try to stop him.

His jump was less graceful than the other boy's, but he landed safely by tucking into a roll. He laughed as Sirius gave him a high-five. This was the stuff he lived for.

He turned back. "Come on Remus, don't duck out on us now."

The skinny boy shook his head in resignation and swung a leg over the railing. "If I die tonight, I swear I'll come back and haunt you," he threatened. All the same, he took the jump.

"Ouch!" Remus crashed into Sirius as he landed, knocking the bigger boy to the ground. James noted with amusement that even as he fell Sirius managed to catch the other boy by the arms to soften the fall and prevent them from smacking heads. "We need to work on your aim, kid." Sirius said from the ground as Remus climbed off and dusted himself off.

James had turned back to Peter. He knew his little friend would require some coaxing. "Come on Petey, this is your moment."

"I can't..." the other boy whispered, his eyes wide and watery. "I'm not athletic like you..."

"Aww come on, Remus is a skinny bag of bones and he managed just fine." James imagined that Remus shot him an annoyed look but he said nothing.

"Get on with it Pettigrew, if we keep standing in one place all night we'll be found out," Sirius said impatiently. James knew Sirius was eager to figure out where the passageway led.

"I don't know..." Peter said.

"Peter, the sorting hat put you in Gryffindor for a reason," Remus said reasonably. "You can find the courage to do this."

James admired the way Remus always found the right thing to say. Peter sighed and swung his leg over the rail as his friends had done, and made to jump, but as he did his foot slipped.

"Oh shit!" Sirius said as he and James lunged forward to grab Peter's hands. The boy had made it just far enough to seize the very edge of the ledge and was making terrified noises as he struggled desperately like a mouse.

"We got you buddy, you're fine," James assured him as they heaved the boy up between them. Sirius ran a hand through his hair, betraying his anxiety over the last few tense moments.

James peered over the edge to examine what could have been a nasty fall onto the stone floor below. "We should really learn the cushioning charm before trying that again," he commented.

Remus had crossed his arms and was tapping his foot, looking furious. "I told you this was dangerous!" He snapped.

"You also told him to jump," James said evenly. "Come on now, we're all here, let's figure out where this passage goes.

/

Sirius felt exhilarated as he breathed cool outdoor air. "We're outside!" He said excitedly, running ahead then plopping his whole body down and rolling in the damp grass.

"What are you, a dog?" James asked.

Sirius knew James wouldn't understand this simple joy of escaping outdoors when one should be inside -after all, the Potters would never lock their son away in a dark, stuffy house all holiday without a chance to get out and breathe fresh air. Rather than bothering to explain, he sat up and half-tackled James around the knees, taking him down with him.

"Hey!" The two began a furious wrestling match. Remus and Peter, just behind them, were careful to avoid the flailing limbs as they sat on the grass and stared up at the night sky.

"It is very peaceful out here," Remus said serenely.

"Look, a crescent moon tonight," Peter said, pointing up. Remus didn't respond.

Finally Sirius got the upper hand on James, helped along by the fact that he was bigger overall.

"Yield!" He said, laughing.

"Never you scoundrel!" James responded, struggling with the other boy's weight on top of him.

"Guys, come look at the sky!" Peter said. Sirius troubled to look up, but only for a moment.

"We're not in astronomy Petey," he said impatiently. " There are better things to do than look at the -"

He stopped, realizing that Remus had a strange look on his face.

Oi, Lupin" he called. "Are you okay?" He rolled off of James and ambled over to the other boy.

"Hmm?" Remus turned and Sirius was startled to see that his eyes were shiny with what appeared to be unshed tears. He blinked quickly a few times, then offered Sirius a smile. "It's just really beautiful, isn't it? I've never really sat in the grass and stared at the stars with friends before."

It was corny, but something about the way he said it made Sirius' heart feel tight. James must have felt it as well, because he got up and repositioned himself next to Remus. "Super beautiful," he agreed tactfully.

They were all quiet for a while, lying in the grass and staring up at the stars, their heads all together creating a circle.

Finally James spoke. "You know, we can stargaze in the meadow behind my house this summer, if you all come along and visit for a bit. No need to chart stars of course."

"I would like that," Remus said quietly.

"I can't wait to visit," Sirius said earnestly. "We'll stargaze and play Quidditch and go swimming, right James?"

"Yes, yes, and I'll see about the swimming," James promised. "I imagine you don't get much of the great outdoors holed up in London, huh?"

"You have no idea," Sirius told him. Not just because of the city surroundings, he thought bitterly.

"What do you usually do for fun at home Remus?" He asked conversationally.

"I read a lot," the other boy said. "And play lots of board games."

"My mom likes to play dominoes," Peter chimed in. "

"That sounds boring," Sirius complained. "We need to go out and get adventuring."

"Well we don't need to wait for the holidays for that," James said. "There's a whole Forbidden Forest to explore."

"That literally has the word forbidden in its name," Remus pointed out. "Why in the world would you want to explore it?"

"To spot magical creatures of course," James said. "I hear there are unicorns and centaurs in there."

"B-but aren't there also dark creatures, like vampires and werewolves?"

Sirius rolled his eyes even though no one could see it from the position they were in.

"Werewolves are only dangerous one night a month," he told Peter. "The rest of the time you can hex them just like any other human. And it's not the full moon."

"Yeah. Besides, Dumbledore would never let something as dangerous as werewolves near Hogwarts," James added. "And Hagrid said there were no werewolves in the forest."

Suddenly Remus started coughing violently. Sirius jumped at the unexpected noise.

"You okay?" Sirius asked, but his friend just started hacking harder. Sirius sat up and looked at him. "Remus?"

"Maybe we should go inside," Peter said nervously. "It's a bit chilly out here."

Sirius immediately thought about skinny boy's often sickly appearance and felt like a proper arse. Here they were, letting him lie in wet grass as a cold wind blew across the grounds.

"We should get you inside," he said, jumping up and rubbing Remus on the back. "You don't sound so good."

"I'm okay," Remus rasped in between coughs. Sirius shot James a look.

"I think it's time to head to bed," James said, standing up and touching Lupin's arm. "For all of us," he added as not to embarrass the boy. Sirius was privately relieved that James grabbed command so casually.

"Yes yes, a good adventurer knows when to call it a night," Sirius said, sweeping gracefully to his feet. "Chop chop," he said, clapping his hands. He reached down and offered Remus a hand, frankly a bit worried that his friend may be too fragile to move.

"I'm fine," Remus insisted, though he took the offered hand.

"Fine then," Sirius said lightly. "So Remus, what are your latest opinions on werewolves? What's been in the papers?" He asked, trying to distract him. But to his dismay, Remus began coughing again with vicious strength.

"That's enough talk of dark creatures," James chastised. "Who wants to talk about monsters when they're ill?"

"Not-ill," Remus gasped, but his cough and sudden shivering suggested otherwise. At this point they'd reached the castle doors, and Sirius was seriously considering blowing their cover to grab Madam Pomfrey from the hospital wing. He wrang his hands anxiously then shoved them in his pockets. He would feel awful if their little nighttime escapade made Remus sick.

"It's much warmer in here," Peter commented as James managed to open the doors silently. "Does that help with the cough Remus?"

"I'm fine," Remus said again, his voice stronger than before.

"Let's just get back to Gryffindor Tower," James said.

The four boys made it back without incident, and Remus immediately climbed into bed and pulled the curtains.

"You sure you're okay?" Sirius asked, his face inches from the heavy fabric.

"I'm just tired from all the excitement," Remus sounded muffled through the hangings.

"Leave him be, Sirius," James advised with a meaningful look.

"But-"

James put a finger up to his lips. "Leave it."

Sirius scowled but stood down. Peter was already curling up in his own bed, and James was disrobing and heading to the washroom. Defeated, Sirius flung himself down on his own bed with more force than necessary.

He was frustrated with himself. He'd been having a jolly good time, oblivious to the needs of his friend. First they'd made Remus take a leap of faith -literally - then traipsed around outside in the cool spring night without a thought to what it might do to their friend. He'd already seen Remus pass out from fever once. And James had said when he'd gone home Remus had suffered some kind of panic attack. He resolved himself to keep a closer eye on his friend and his health.

James came out fresh faced and smelling of mint.

"G'night gentlemen, he said, extinguishing his lamp and crawling into bed.

Peter and Sirius grunted in reply, but Remus didn't make a sound. With nothing left to do, Sirius threw off his own robes and climbed into bed in his underthings. He put his head down and tried to sleep, but I thought he heard sniffling coming from Remus' bed. Whether it was real or imagined, he knew it would keep him up all night.

/

Long after he believed everyone else was asleep, Remus was awake, his eyes wet with tears he didn't want anyone else to see.

Of course his friends hadn't meant anything by their causal discussion of werewolves. Indeed, James and Sirius hadn't said anything particularly cruel, which for them was somewhat of an accomplishment. Remus had heard James go off on all matters of dark creatures before – he had a particular problem with banshees, which Remus didn't entirely understand – and Sirius often boasted of plans to become a great wizard who fought vampires and acromantula and all manner of beasts. Somehow, they generally managed to avoid the topic of werewolves, which was why it came as such a shock to hear the dreaded topic dropped so casually earlier in the evening.

Remus knew his lycanthropy defined his life. He knew that no matter how long he struggled to keep it secret someday it would come out, and when that day came everyone would look at him in that wide-eyed way Peter had when James had suggested wandering into the Forbidden Forest and potentially facing monstrosities like werewolves. Like Remus. Little Peter Pettigrew would be disgusted and terrified when he learned the truth.

And then there was the way Sirius had dropped a line about hexing werewolves, the same way he talked about hexing the Slytherin purebloods he so despised. Remus didn't know how he would possibly handle being on that end of Sirius' temper – the heir to House Black seemed determine to reject all associations with darkness and blood purification politics in which his family was so deeply immersed. What would the budding duelist do when he discovered the boy he shared a dorm with was a creature born of dark curses so ancient it had become a species all its own?

And James – the cheerful, strong-willed boy who had drawn the group together that first day on the Hogwarts Express. James, who was determined to discover the mystery of the Whomping Willow. What would James do when he learned one of his mates was a loathsome, despicable creature? Surely he would toss Remus aside and pick a new friend to add to his collection.

He was on borrowed time. The life he was living – the life of a relatively normal boy with a small problem that only cropped up once a month – was an illusion, and likely to shatter as soon as his clever friends began truly pushing the issue on where he disappeared to each month.

Remus knew James and Sirius were already suspicious about his disappearances. His excuse that his mother was sick would hold if he only took off on weekends, but of course he had no choice on what night the full moon fell. And there had been the horrible debacle when he wore himself too thin and actually lost consciousness from the full-moon fever, though that had actually been a blessing in disguise for he had no need to lie about his stay at the hospital wing that month, and his friends came to visit while he was recovering, oblivious to the fact that he was actually recovering from a horrid transformation and not just a simple illness. Madam Pomfrey had been careful to hide his gnawed leg under several layers of blankets before the boys came, and he'd spent a wondrous three days looking forward to visitors instead of languishing in bed trying to think up excuses for the bags under his eyes.

Sometimes it was impossible to entirely hide the injuries – as it was Remus wore his heavy wool robes long, to avoid unnecessary questions about his scarred arms and legs. But he couldn't cover up his hands, nor his face, nor could he control his rowdy friends when decided they wanted to go for a swim in the lake. He'd begged off once or twice at the beginning of the year, and other times sat on the shore, claiming he'd never learned to swim – but he wouldn't be shocked if one day Sirius in a fit of excitement and mischief decided to toss him and ripped the robes right off him in a misguided attempt to be kind and not destroy his clothing.

And James – James had noticed the one month when Remus had come back limping, still recovering after tearing up a tendon in his knee during the transformation. The other boy had asked about it – and Remus had told him he twisted it when he forgot about one of the trick steps in a staircase, but James hadn't seemed entirely convinced by that story.

Remus sniffed loudly, then shook out his hair, trying to release the tension from his neck. He'd been able to regulate his breathing back to normal. This was silly. If was living on borrowed time, he should make the best of it and enjoy his friendships now, while they still existed.

"Remus?" A voice called softly from beyond the curtains. Sirius was still awake, and must have heard. Remus was mortified – how would his friend react to him crying to himself in his bed? And how would Remus explain, when the reason for his distress couldn't be spoken about?

Remus rubbed his wet cheeks furiously with the edge of his robes, which he'd never changed out of. "Yes?" he whispered back, secretly hoping that Sirius was only half-awake and wouldn't respond.

But instead his drapes flew open and Sirius poked his head in. "You sure you're all right? It was a bit cold out there earlier – if you're catching a chill I can walk with you down to the hospital wing."

A sigh of relief slipped out before Remus even realized it. Sirius had mistaken the crying for the sniffles. Remus had already noticed that both James and Sirius, for all their apparent arrogance and the private war with Slytherin that gave them a reputation as bullies, were also fiercely protective and quick to jump in and offer help when they thought it was needed.

"I'll be fine," he told the other boy. "Just having a bit of trouble sleeping is all."

"Same," Sirius whispered, crawling into the bed and lounging on top of the covers next to Remus. He grinned wickedly. "What do you say you and I go for our own little adventure then?"

"Sirius – we already did our nighttime wandering tonight," Remus said, exasperated. "It's 3 a.m."

"True." He sighed. "I'm just so restless! What do you do when you can't sleep?"

"When I'm at home, I usually sneak down to the kitchen and fix myself some warm milk with honey," Remus admitted.

Sirius snorted. "I can't imagine what my mother would say if I woke up one of the house elves for warm milk and honey." He screwed up his face and held up his hand as if brandishing an invisible wand. "Shame of my flesh! Ungrateful, vile child! How dare you sneak around in the night stealing food?! After all we give to you, you continue to dishonor this family!" He hissed the words out as not to wake the other two boys. Remus giggled, then frowned.

"Really? All over a midnight snack?" He asked.

Sirius shrugged. "Any excuse to yell at me will do for her," he told him. His face was obscured by shadows and bits of his hair, but Remus could read the expression well enough. Not anger, but sadness.

Remus frowned deeper, thinking of his own mother, who scarcely raised her voice over anything, least of all a little snack, even when money was tight. He thought back to the Howler Sirius had received at the beginning of the year, and wondered what his home life must be like.

"That seems rough," he said finally.

"Yeah…." Sirius was facing the window, and Remus had a feeling that there was a lot left unsaid in that answer. But then again, he could relate to having secrets.

/

"Again?" Peter asked when he woke up and saw Sirius and Remus curled up in bed together. The curtains weren't even drawn. It seemed like every few weeks someone was in bed with Sirius, and privately, Peter was weirdly jealous that it was never him.

"Morning Petey," Sirius said, rolling over and hanging upside-down off the edge of Remus' bed. "Sleep okay?"

"Just fine, thanks," Peter said, deciding to just accept the situation.

"Good morning Peter," Remus said, rubbing his eyes. "Good morning Sirius."

"Good morning boys!" James called over from his bed. "Who's first in the washroom today?"

An hour later they were all enjoying breakfast when Peter observed something peculiar.

"Say, Sirius, isn't that your cousin?" Peter asked, pointing to a spot of commotion at the Slytherin table. Andromeda Black appeared to be mediating some kind of discussion between William Nott, the captain of the Slytherin Quidditch team, and a Hufflepuff beater whose name escaped Peter in the moment. The conversation did not look like a friendly one.

"Weird - what is Ted Tonks doing over there?" James asked, craning his neck for a better look.

"They're arguing over practice times at the Quidditch pitch," Flavius McLaggen, who was sitting to James' right, told them. "Hufflepuff's had Wednesdays booked all season but Slytherin got rained out the other day and as I heard it they were trying to strong-arm Tabitha Shepard into giving it up for the day."

Tabitha Shepard is barely five feet tall and hardly seven stone!" James exclaimed. "That sounds like Slytherin bullying if I ever heard it."

"My guess is that's what Tonks said. He's a fair bit bigger and harder to push around than Shepard," McLaggen said with some amusement.

"Why is Dromeda involved?" Sirius asked. "She's not a Quidditch fan."

Peter noticed the girl's hand reach out and squeeze the Hufflepuff beater's shoulder, which appeared to have an immediate calming effect. "I would guess it's not Quidditch she's a fan of, it's the player."

"What?" Sirius abandoned all pretense of casual observation and sprang up, standing on the bench for a better view. He watched for a few moments, and Peter was alarmed to see his face darkening.

"She's going to get herself in trouble," Sirius said, almost to himself. "Tonks isn't a pureblood surname."

"Does it matter?" James said, tugging Sirius back down before he was reprimanded by Professor Kettleburn for standing on the furniture.

"You've seen for yourself what that circle does to people they consider blood traitors," Sirius snapped as he collapsed back into his seat. "With Bella and Rodolphus Lestrange are involved there's no way it won't get back to her father if she's dating a Hufflepuff nobody."

"Let's not jump to conclusions," Remus said reasonably. "Maybe they're just good friends."

"Or maybe Mr. Tonks over there just has a little crush," James suggested. "Don't take this the wrong way mate, but your cousin's quite the looker, even if she is a Black."

"Bite me, Potter," Sirius grumbled, now in a poor mood. He turned to Peter. "You need to follow them for me and find out."

"What?" Peter immediately saw red flags. "Why can't you do it yourself?"

"Because if I do it, Dromeda will spot me in a second and realize what I'm up to. Same problem with James."

"Why not send Remus?" Peter asked, looking to the other boy hopefully.

Sirius shook his head. "Dromeda also knows him too well. Your name came up when I was home," he added when Remus looked confused. "It has to be you Peter."

"Why can't we use the cloak?" Peter asked, turning to James, but James hurriedly shushed him. McLaggen was in hearing range. And besides that, it occured to Peter after he asked the question, the cloak was probably back in James' bureau in the dorm.

"Peter, do this for me, and I'll do your Charms homework for a month," Sirius promised. "And I'll do it correctly - no invisible ink or smart answers."

That was an offer Peter couldn't refuse. On top of that, Sirius must truly be counting on him if he was willing to make such a deal. So Peter agreed.

That was how Peter wound up following the two teenagers out of the Great Hall and all the way up into the Owlery. Peter was afraid to step all the way in, but he had a fair view through when he laid down and peeked through the crack under the door.

"Nott isn't anything to worry about," Andromeda was saying. "He's all talk - he won't actually do anything to Tabitha." She was rubbing the Hufflepuff's arm.

"Tabby was near tears, Dromeda!" Tonks said. "I won't stand for it."

"I know, baby." The hand that she had on his arm crept upward, dancing across his shoulder before coming to a rest on his cheek. Peter bit back a gasp. Sirius would not be happy. "That's one of the things I love about you. You take such good care of your friends."

"I'll take good care of you too, when the time comes," he said, taking the hand. Peter didn't have a clear view of what he did with it, but Andromeda had a smile on her face - the kind of smile Peter's mother sometimes wore as of late when they were talking about his father.

The boy decided he'd seen enough. He scrambled off and ran toward the Charms classroom, hoping he wasn't terribly late to class, and also hoping Sirius didn't decide to take his displeasure out on the messenger.


	23. Purebloods and Bullies

"Are you absolutely certain that's what you saw?" Remus whispered as he and Peter conferred in class, to which Peter had arrived late. James and Sirius were plotting a spell to make Henry Connors to grow a mustache were therefore distracted.

Peter nodded. "I wish I wasn't," he said miserably. "Sirius will no doubt be angry and come up with some crazy plan to break them up."

Remus sighed. Peter was right - Sirius had been very upset by the idea of Andromeda dating a muggleborn. This in itself was upsetting to Remus, who thought Sirius was shedding those prejudices, but based on his reaction earlier in the day, it seemed it wasn't as cut-and-dry as Remus hoped.

"We can't tell Sirius yet. We need to break the news to him gently. Maybe warn Andromeda first…"

But it wasn't to be. That evening James and Sirius snuck off to spy at the Whomping Willow alcove while Remus and Peter struggled through a Potions essay. A few hours later, the dormitory door flew open, and Sirius was in a rage.

"Consorting with a muggleborn!" he roared as James fought to quiet him. Remus guessed James had been trying to do this the whole walk back. "She was cuddling and KISSING him!"

"Huh?" Remus was confused and looked to James for explanation.

"You'll never guess who the Whomping Willow couple is," James said, clearly sarcastic. "Andromeda Black and Ted Tonks."

"That bloody bastard!" Sirius yelled, shaking a fist.

"What's wrong with Ted Tonks?" Remus asked, worried about where this was going. This was his fault. He'd used the hunt for the mystery couple as a way to distract from his own secret. And now he'd unwittingly betrayed Andromeda, who had always been so kind to him.

"He's muggleborn!" Sirius shouted.

"And why is that such a problem? Please enlighten us," James said, looking irritated. "Remus here is a half-blood, and you like him well enough to sleep in his bed. Lily Evans is a muggleborn, and you're always copying off her in Potions."

"You don't understand!" Sirius cried. "I don't care about their blood. They're not taking away my best cousin!"

Suddenly, Remus did understand, clearly better than James, who was looking more and more irritated and appeared to be gearing up for an argument.

"You've got to stop talking like muggleborn makes any difference. If she loves him, what does it matter?"

"It MATTERS because -"

"Because when her parents find out, they'll demand Andromeda stop seeing him. And if she refuses, they'll disown her." Remus was speaking now, hoping he'd come to the correct conclusion. "And if they disown her, you won't be able to see her anymore."

"THAT!" Sirius shouted, pointing at Remus. "THAT IS WHY IT MATTERS!" He rounded on Peter. "Didn't you see anything when you followed them? Why didn't you tell me?!"

Peter edged away and tried to hide behind James, who was still looking like he was ready to come out with a lecture.

"Don't yell at Petey, Black. He's not in the wrong here," James said, putting an arm up to divide Sirius and Peter.

"You're right," Sirius said. "It's Tonks...Tonks is the problem…" He began pacing back and forth and Remus became alarmed that he was plotting something cruel.

"No, Tonks isn't the problem either. Not if he loves your cousin," Remus said, trying to be sensitive to Sirius' temper, which could get dangerous. "Aren't you always saying your family has a backwards way of seeing the world?"

"By all accounts I've heard, Ted Tonks is a good guy. Though he has been sneaking around and skipping out on Quidditch practice with a secret girlfriend…" James stopped and snapped his fingers. "Ahhh. Andromeda is the secret girlfriend! It's a secret because of your family."

Remus sighed. James was generally clever, but moments like this were the reason people sometimes thought he was a complete idiot.

"Goddammit." Sirius kicked the corner of his bed. "She means to marry him."

"What?" James now looked confused. "How could you know that?"

"She hinted at it at the engagement ceremony," Sirius said. His anger was slowly turning to misery. "She said something about making her choice, and everything coming down to willpower." Sirius looked less dangerous and more and more dejected as he explained. "She means to tell her parents - she won't just run off - she's too proud for that. But when they reject Tonks, she'll leave. I know she will. She's always been able to stand up against her parents." He sat down on the edge of his bed and put his head in his hands. "Then I'll have no one left."

"No one left to what?" James asked, but Remus knew the answer. He remembered the way Andromeda had fought of Rodolphus Lestrange for them. The way she had protected Sirius. It must not have been the first time.

"No one left on his side," Remus said. Sirius looked at him and nodded. Remus thought his friend's bottom lip may have quivered, but it happened so fast he couldn't be sure.

"Well that's ridiculous," James said quickly. "You have us. We're always on your side!"

Remus shook his head. "But we're not there when Sirius is home, are we?" He felt closer to Sirius then he'd ever felt before. He realized what Sirius was feeling, even if it wasn't exactly the same as his own pain. The worry over being different. The fear of losing your allies. The idea of being trapped somewhere, scrutinized by people who did not understand you and wanted to bend you to their ideal.

Like a werewolf in a cage waiting to be the subject of a new experiment.

James frowned. Remus knew James couldn't understand it yet. James Potter, born in love, accepted unconditionally by parents who could provide the world to him. James was generous and bright, but he could not relate to the idea of dreading going home. He could not relate to the idea of feeling out of place. Indeed, James was the type of person who forced his way into whatever place he needed, smiling all the while. And while James was able to identify the differences between himself and Remus or Peter, he'd latched on to Sirius in a different way, and believed Sirius to be just like him.

It would take time to open the boy's mind enough for him to really understand what Sirius was feeling.

Remus wondered once again exactly what went on at the House of Black, but decided now wasn't the time to ask.

"I'll work on that," James was saying. "I'll figure out a better way to keep in touch than owl post. Something your mother can't restrict."

"But what about Andromeda and Tonks?" Sirius asked. "We should try to break them up."

"Sirius Black, you'll do no such thing!" James said sternly, a tone usually used by Remus. The other three turned to him curiously. "You will not break up your cousin and her boyfriend just because he's muggleborn. If you do, you're as bad as your parents."

Sirius looked like James had smacked him across the face. "But-"

"Sirius…" James had been harsh, but he wasn't wrong. "James has a point," Remus said quietly. "Is it any different than if Narcissa told you not to hang around me?"

"How did you know about that?" Sirius asked.

"What?" It had been a hypothetical, and while Remus knew he needed to have a thick skin, he was surprised to discover he was a bit hurt that Narcissa had in fact tried to break up their friendship. If he was already a liability, what would happen when his secret came out? "Lucky guess," Remus said, trying to save face. It wasn't the time to dwell on his own issues. He needed to help Andromeda, to make up for the spying.

Sirius sighed and kicked another bedpost. "Fine. I get it. No meddling."

"And no gossiping, either," Remus said, turning and giving James a look.

"Yes, yes, I understand," James said, waving a hand. "You know what this situation needs right now?"

"What?" Sirius asked.

"A trip down to the kitchen. Everything is brighter with snacks and tea, my mum always says," James said. "Come on Petey, we'll go collect."

James whipped out the invisibility cloak and gestured for Peter to follow. The two boys disappeared and the dormitory door creaked open and closed. Then Remus and Sirius were alone. Remus decided to risk the question.

"Would it be easier if you weren't friends with someone like me?" Remus asked quietly.

"Probably," Sirius said. "But you know, what is right and what is easy are rarely the same thing."

It struck Remus as funny that someone as reckless as Sirius could say something so wise.

/

Sirius couldn't remember a time he'd been more miserable.

Okay, that was being overdramatic. He could remember several times. But this one was up there.

He was miserable about the thought of losing his favorite cousin. Andromeda was a seventh-year - if she left school and ran off with a muggleborn he would be barred from communicating with her ever again. Sirius wasn't one to blindly obey his parents, but if he tried to send owls at school Narcissa would be bound to notice, and once Narcissa graduated there would be Regulus to worry about. That meant six years of going without talking to his cousin. A lot could happen in six years.

He was also miserable about the way he'd reacted. He was always saying he wasn't like his parents, but had he not flown into a rage when he realized Ted Tonks was muggleborn? Had he not immediately blamed the situation on him - a boy he hardly even knew? He was ashamed, but also angry - angry at himself, angry at Andromeda for putting him in the position, angry at James for not understanding, and even angry at Remus for being so understanding that it only made him feel worse.

In short, it was a lot of emotions for a 12-year-old boy to handle. And he was not handling it well.

"Think fast, Snivellus," he said as he shot a tickling jinx at his unsuspecting victim during potions. The Slytherin boy, who had been about to add beetle eyes to his potion, began jolting uncontrollably as he tried to fight the jinx. Sirius grinned when he dropped the whole jar of eyes into the cauldron, causing the potion to create a great plume of smoke.

"Sev! Are you okay? What happened?" Lily Evans began fanning the smoke out of her partner's face. "You were only supposed to add a tablespoon of those."

"I-ack-know," Snape coughed, both from smoke and from trying to choke back forced laughter.

"Good one, Black," James said, elbowing him in approval. Even though Sirius was mad at James, he still liked the praise.

Evans shot them both a glare, but Sirius didn't particularly care. Evans was also muggleborn - a pretty one. Chances were someday she would lure some poor pureblood boy away from his prejudiced family and put some poor younger sibling in the same place he found himself now.

It wasn't fair. And he continued to brood.

"Check this out," he whispered to James later in the hall as he shot a tripping jinx at Ted Tonks as he came out of Charms. His aim was off, and he hit a third-year Ravenclaw coming out of Arithmancy instead. Her trip was spectacular, knocking over two other girls and sending her ink pot flying out of her bag, crashing to the floor. It shattered and sent blue ink all over the three students.

"Sod it, I missed." Sirius muttered. One of the Ravenclaws glanced up at him and glared, but he didn't even acknowledge her.

James and Peter laughed, but Remus didn't say anything.

Later, at dinner, he transfigured a baked potato into a rat and watched with amusement as the creature rushed up and down the long Gryffindor table, causing students to shriek and jump and run away until Kingsley Shacklebolt grabbed the animal in his bare hand and released it outside.

Then, in the Common Room, when no one was looking he tossed a firework into fire. It was pretty funny to watch the cheery explosions until one caught Elena Fraser's hair on fire. He felt bad about that. In fact, he felt even worse when she got back from Madam Pomfrey and her previously long black hair was cut into a bob that stopped just above her chin.

The fire prompted a visit from Professor McGonagall, who gave a stern lecture on accountability and demanded to know who threw the firework. Thankfully, either no one had seen Sirius toss it in, or they were afraid to say it. Eventually McGonagall left with promises of dire consequences if she ever found the perpetrator. Had Sirius been on his A game, he would have noticed Kingsley Shacklebolt staring at him as their Head of House spoke, but he was too busy wallowing in self-pity to pay attention to small details.

He wound up going to bed early. But he didn't sleep well, and wound up wandering out of the dormitory and down to the Great Hall for breakfast much earlier than usual.

The only other Gryffindor at the table that early was Shacklebolt. Sirius tried to sit down the opposite end, but the prefect spotted him and stood up to join him.

"You know," the older boy said without preamble. "Some children act out when they're upset about something."

"Is that so?" Sirius said, stabbing a kipper with his fork and pushing it around his plate. He didn't want to talk to Shacklebolt. He didn't want to talk to anyone, really.

"Oh yes, it's very common, and not all that hard to spot."

"Hn."

"What is harder is determining the cause of a person's upset," Shacklebolt continued. "It could just be a bad day. Sometimes it's a bullying problem. You know, many children who are bullied tend to become bullies."

"I hate bullies," Sirius told him, still pushing around the kipper.

"Hmm. That's interesting."

"How so?"

"Well, it's just that, to hear others tell it, you're a bit of a bully yourself."

Sirius stopped playing with his kipper. "Let me guess - you've been talking to Lily Evans."

"And Henry Connors, and Elena Fraser, and Dorcas Meadowes in Ravenclaw," Shacklebolt confirmed. He leaned forward as Sirius frowned. "But here's the thing. There's a rather fine line, you see, between a bully and a mischief-maker. I think you're more of a mischief-maker, myself. But in the last day or so you seem to be toeing the line. When you toe the line, people can get hurt. And I don't think that's exactly what you were going for. I noticed you went off to bed early last night instead of chumming around with Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew."

"Very perceptive," Sirius grudgingly admitted. "Do you watch all of your charges so carefully?"

"Just the ones my Head of House has specifically asked me to look after."

That came as enough of a surprise to Sirius to elicit a quick reaction. "What for?!"

Shacklebolt cocked his head. "I would have thought that was obvious. The first Black ever recorded sorted into a house outside Slytherin? And into Gryffindor, no less? McGonagall was worried it might be hard on you."

Sirius scoffed. "McGonagall's not that soft."

"You'd be surprised. Now, as far as I've seen, you've done a fine job of standing up to your bullies, and, though your methods are a bit questionable, I've looked the other way because children should learn to work out their own issues. But nearly setting the Common Room on fire is where I draw the line. So here we are. What's bothering you, and what can I do to make it - and your behavior - better?"

"You're not that much older than me, you know. You don't have to treat me like some little kid," Sirius grumbled.

"Well you're acting like it, Black."

This was true. Sirius sighed deeply. "It's not the Slytherins, not exactly anyway."

Shacklebolt waited quietly for him to continue. But Sirius wasn't about to spill his heart out to some prefect, even if he was gaining some respect for Shacklebolt.

"I can't explain it to you. It's not my secret to tell," Sirius finally said. "Family business."

"Is it your cousin's engagement?"

"What? How do you know about that? And no, no it's not dammit." Sirius snapped. "Bella can do whatever the bloody hell she wants."

"Language, Black," Shacklebolt said. "I'm trying to help here. Don't make me take away house points."

Other students were beginning to trickle down to breakfast. Sirius knew Lupin tended to wake up early, and would come looking for him if he realized he was gone. He needed to wrap this up. Suddenly inspiration struck. "There is actually a way you can help," Sirius told him. "Can you make me a promise?"

"What kind of promise?" the older boy asked cautiously.

"To help me send letters." The prefect narrowed his eyes. "Not now! And nothing bad! Just, at some point, I may need some help getting communications to a certain person. Under the radar. I can't say more than that."

"That's vague and unhelpful," Shacklebolt told him. "But if I promise this to you, will you calm yourself down? Or at least stick to pranks where no one gets hurt?"

"I'll do my best."

"And no ordering dungbombs on my watch."

"Fair."

"Okay then. Let's shake on it."

Sirius gripped the larger hand with both of his and shook vigorously. "Pleasure doing business with you."

"Don't make me regret this, Black."

Sirius grinned, finally seeing a small ray of hope in his situation. "Tell McGonagall not to worry about me. I'm a lion, after all."

/

It was the end of February and Peter was fretting about another Charms essay. He was so concerned, in fact, he didn't take the usual precaution of walking with Remus or James to the library, and braved the corridors of the castle on his own hoping for some extra time to work on it. Remus had promised to proofread it for him, but first, he had to write something worthy of being proofread.

Peter was so far into his books that he didn't notice Lily Evans walk up to him until she spoke.

"Peter?"

He startled, badly, tossing his book straight up in the air.

"Cripes Evans! You scared me!"

She looked amused but had the good grace not to laugh. "I'm sorry. But I noticed you were working on the Charms essay. Can I join you?"

Peter looked her up and down suspiciously, but nodded.

After pulling her books, quill, parchment and inkpot out and setting them down carefully, she turned to him and smiled. "Where are your friends tonight?"

"Why are you asking?" he responded quickly. He still wasn't sure what to make of Lily Evans. She was generally nice, and had a reputation for being kind and clever, but she was downright mean to James and Sirius sometimes.

"I didn't mean anything by it, I'm just not used to seeing you without at least one of them," she said.

"Oh." Well that was a fair point. "When I left the dormitory, Remus was reading, and James and Sirius were planning to go for a walk by the lake."

"I see," she said. She paused for a moment, then spoke again. "May I ask you a personal question, Peter?"

He shrugged. "Sure."

"Are Potter and Black - are they nice to you? Do they treat you, you know…"

"No, I don't know," Peter told her, a bit confused.

She sighed. "Do they treat you like a friend, or like a tag-along?"

Peter blinked, then scowled at her. "They're my friends. Why would you even ask that?"

Lily was frowning. "I'm sorry, I know it's a rude question - but it's just - people say…"

"People say what?" Peter pressed.

She struggled for words. "I suppose they just don't know you that well, but people say you don't have - well - the personality to keep up with Potter and Black. They say you're just following them along."

Peter's heart sank. "People say that?" To be honest, it wasn't shocking. James and Sirius were bright and loud popular and charming, where Peter knew he was a bit of a bumbling thing. "What do people say about Remus? He's not like them either."

Lily shrugged. "No one says much of anything about Remus. He's pretty quiet when the rest of you aren't around."

Peter sighed. So Remus was escaping the ridicule, while Peter was the butt of it. It was just like grammar school. "Why are you asking me about this?"

"I'm sorry if I upset you," she said. "I just wanted to make sure they weren't bullying you into running along with them."

Peter shook his head. "You know Evans, they're not as bad as you think they are. James was nice from day one, and always invites me along to things, and he helps me with Transfiguration. And Sirius - well, I'll admit Sirius has a sharp tongue - but he looks out for me. You should have seen his face when Mulciber beat me up in the dungeons."

Lily gasped. "Steven Mulciber beat you up?"

"Oh, I wasn't supposed to tell anyone that, drat." James wouldn't be happy he'd let that slip - he was doing his best to represent the war against the Slytherins as a series of Gryffindor successes.

"Why did Steven Mulciber beat you up?"

"I'm not entirely sure, but it has something to do with Sirius being a blood traitor."

"A what?"

" A blood traitor. It's what the purebloods call someone who doesn't bother with all the blood purity rubbish."

Lily sniffed in disapproval. "Wow. Very melodramatic. So he beat you up for hanging out with Sirius?"

"Sort of? Maybe? I don't really understand the whole situation, to be honest. Sirius has a really hard time with those guys - even with one of his cousins."

"Really?" Lily looked thoughtful. "I can't really imagine Sirius Black as a victim in any situation. What did Sirius do when he found out?"

"He tried to go hex Mulciber in the middle of the Great Hall. But Remus disarmed him. Then James tried to go for revenge, and Remus talked him down too." Peter smiled at the memory.

"Hmm." Lily smiled. "I guess they are good friends to you."

"Of course they are!" Peter said. It was really none of her business, but it seemed like Lily's meddling was coming from a good place. Peter believed women were nosey by nature - he knew that from watching his mother.

"Well that's good. It would be nice if they would treat the rest of us with some respect, though." She leaned back and opened up her textbook. "Say, do you want help with your essay? Mine's really almost finished, I just came to put some finishing touches on it."

Peter accepted the help, all the while trying to shake the shameful feeling he was left with from their conversation. Apparently, the general consensus at Hogwarts was that he didn't belong with a group of friends like James and Sirius and Remus. Well, that wasn't good for a boy's confidence.

Admittedly, life with Sirius and James and Remus wasn't what Peter had imagined. His whole childhood he'd longed for friends, but now that he had them, he realized it was quite a bit of work. James had a reckless sense of humor and always wanted to try something new and dangerous. Peter wanted to be included, but often times found himself exhausted both mentally and physically by what was supposed to be a simple spot of fun.

And then there was Sirius, who never did anything in half measures. When Sirius was happy, life was a wild party. When Sirius was angry, the world cowered in his wrath. James and Remus rode the waves well enough, but Peter always seemed to find himself trying to stand up alongside Sirius, rather than being overshadowed by his big personality and mood swings.

And then there was Remus. Kind, quiet Remus was exactly the type of friend Peter would have asked for. He was always up for a good game of chess or Exploding Snap. But Remus was smarter than Peter - so much smarter Peter often felt downright stupid. On top of that, Remus had family troubles, and though Remus was such a good friend to him, Peter didn't know how to be as good a friend in return.

Maybe the gossip was right - maybe Peter was just tagging along with his more talented friends.

/

James ripped himself from his nightmare to realize he was lying in a puddle of his own cold sweat.

"Bloody hell," he whispered, wiping his face and trying to calm himself down. He'd had another dream about the creepy cloud in the newspaper. He'd almost managed to forget about the creepy cloud and the awful tales of murder - for there hadn't been one in the paper for a while, and like most 11-year-old boys he was easily distracted by childhood trivialities - but now it all came rushing back.

He thought back to the things his mother had told him over the holidays, then glanced over at Sirius. The heir to House Black was splayed out on his bed, wearing nothing but boxers. James considered waking him for a moment, then felt decided against it. He needed to clear his head, and talking to Sirius, who had been in one of his defiant moods since learning with the news that his cousin was dating the Hufflepuff beater, wasn't going to help him right now.

He could have woken Remus, but the other boy had been looking a bit haggard as of late and James didn't want to put any strain on him. He hoped Remus' mother wasn't doing poorly again.

It didn't occur to James to wake Peter.

Grabbing his invisibility cloak, James snuck down the tower stairs as quietly as possible. He considered curling up in an armchair near the dying fire, but instead opted to leave the common room altogether.

He wandered the castle aimlessly for a while, just enjoying the sensation of being free to move and explore while the rest of the world was sleeping.

Or, at least, most of the world. He froze when he heard footsteps and voices on the fifth floor.

"Things are getting worse, Albus," a gruff voice said. "They told about him the way people used to talk about Grindelwald."

"But no one knows his true identity?" James recognized the headmaster's voice.

The stranger growled. "His followers call him 'The Dark Lord,' but I've also heard him referred to as 'Lord Voldemort.' Preaches for blood purification, so it's logical to think he's a pureblood, but it's been impossible to confirm."

"What of his followers? Have you identified any of them?"

"The usual suspects," the voice said. "Lestrange. Crabbe. Goyle. I'd bet my good leg on Malfoy, though there's no official connection yet. Any at least one branch of the Blacks - one of their girls just got engaged to the Lestrange heir."

"The Lestrange boy is still in school. Are you certain of his involvement?"

"Certain of the father, and the 'boy' as you call him, is of age and has been spotted in places he doesn't belong. You know how these things go. One bad apple…"

James hurried to keep up with the two men, who were walking away from him, without making any noise. He was grateful for his slippers - a gift from his mother - that muffled his footfalls.

"Alastor, should I be concerned for the safety of my students?"

"Their immediate safety? I doubt it. But I would keep a close eye on the children of those families. Dictators and madmen like to recruit them young, to brainwash them into their ideology.

"Rodolphus Lestrange may require some watching, but Lucius Malfoy has never been anything but an ideal student."

The man named Alastor snorted. "Perhaps you should check with the muggleborn students on that. I've heard the way his father speaks when he thinks no one is listening…"

"Do you suggest I watch over Slytherin house more carefully?"

"I suggest you watch over the lot of them. Constant vigilance. A school house doesn't make a dark wizard - but a family does. I hear there's a Black in Gryffindor this year."

James bristled, but knew enough to keep quiet.

"From what I've seen, young Sirius Black is hardly a blood purist. He's attached himself to James Potter and a halfblood named Remus Lupin."

"Lupin?" Alastor asked sharply. "As in Lyall Lupin's son?"

James saw Dumbledore nod in affirmation.

"Well, that's interesting. Does Black know about - "

"I suspect young Lupin has given his friends a satisfactory excuse for his situation," the headmaster said quietly. "Whether he has explained it all…"

Now, what was that about? But the adults did not continue down that line of conversation. Rather, the headmaster offered the man with the gruff voice a glass of whiskey in his office, which he accepted. James, knowing he could not follow and remain undetected, decided to head back to the common room.

James stared at the hot coals that were all that remained of the fire for a long time. Lord Voldemort. The name sounded stupid - like the villian out of a Beedle and Bard story. But if James had understood what he'd overheard correctly, this Lord Voldemort was involved - no, not just involved - he headed the pureblood purification movement - a movement that was costing people their lives.

The Potters had never put much stock into the subject of pureblood versus half-blood versus muggleborn, though James was not naive enough to think it was irrelevant. Even an 11-year-old boy knew that purebloods ascended higher in the ministry and other prominent positions, though after seeing the muggleborns and half-bloods in action in class he couldn't see why. Lily Evans was clearly a brilliant witch, even if she was prissy. And then there was Remus - whose intelligence and magical ability oozed out of him without the boy even realizing it.

Why do something as dark as kill over a matter of blood purity? James didn't like it. He liked even less the fact that his friend's family name kept coming up. Sirius Black was his friend. James knew he wasn't bad at heart, but the rest of the world kept grouping him in with his wicked family.

James had planned to be like any other 11-year-old wizard - getting into mischief with his mates as he explored Hogwarts in his first year. But as much as he tried to keep it fun and carefree, nasty news from the outside world kept nagging at his conscience. He should do something. But what could a boy his age do?

He wasn't sure, but he knew he had to stand up for what was right, however it was he could.


	24. A Fissure in the Family

"I think something's seriously wrong with Remus," James announced to Sirius and Peter. The boy in question had disappeared from the dormitory once again at the beginning of March. "I'm concerned his mother's illness may be catching." James had been observing his friend carefully the last few months, and it was clear that while Remus claimed his frequent disappearances were simply to visit his ailing mother, the boy came back looking drained and ill himself. He'd fallen ill over the winter - so badly he'd passed out on the stairs. And shortly before he took off earlier that day, Remus had appeared pale and lethargic. All these journeys home hardly seemed good for his friend's health, James had decided.

"Why?" Peter asked curiously.

Sirius sighed. "Because, he comes back exhausted every time he visits her, moron." James frowned at the way the bigger boy spoke to Peter, but he let it slide for the moment. Sirius had been in a bad mood since they'd learned Andromeda was dating a muggleborn, and there were more pressing concerns at hand.

"And he looks anxious and a bit peaky even before he leaves, haven't you noticed?" James said.

Sirius nodded. "I was wondering about it on the train after the holidays. Remember what he said about muggle cures for a cold? Do you suppose his mother isn't getting proper treatment and it's causing her to be contagious?"

"If that's the case, why doesn't his father step in?" James asked. "It all seems fishy to me."

"I don't think Remus would appreciate you talking to him when he's not around," Peter piped up. But the other two boys ignored him.

"But if his mother doesn't want magical treatment, no one can force her into it," Sirius mused. "But that shouldn't mean Remus has to suffer. If his father's healing skills aren't up to snuff, Remus could just go to Pomfrey."

James shook his head. "If his mother is making him sick, why does he look ill before he leaves to visit her?" He asked, almost to himself.

Sirius snapped his fingers. "Perhaps he doesn't want to go home and he's making himself sick worrying about it."

"Remus doesn't seem the type to begrudge a visit to his sick Mum."

"Maybe it's his father he doesn't want to see."

"Maybe the journey home is too taxing."

"Can you get sick from stress?"

"How do you suppose he gets home? Floo powder? Side-along Apparition?"

"You can't apparate on the Hogwarts grounds. Likely Floo. That's how McGonagall sent me home."

"Well Floo doesn't put much of a strain on the body - unless you get motion-sick."

"That would pass quickly enough, though. Why do you suppose Remus doesn't like his father?"

"I never said that – you did."

"Oh right. Just a theory."

James and Sirius were volleying back and forth too quickly for Peter to follow.

"Guys, why don't we just ask Remus about it?"

Sirius sighed. "Because, if he hasn't already told us, clearly he's trying to keep something from us.

"Doesn't that mean we should let it be?"

Again, James and Sirius ignored Peter.

"You don't suppose….no…that wouldn't make any sense…" James trailed off.

"What?" Sirius asked.

"Well, remember, sometimes, when Remus gets back, he's limping or has bruises on his face?"

Sirius went pale. "You don't think…"

James nodded grimly.

"What? What?!" Peter asked, unhappy that he couldn't follow along.

Sirius turned to him, and for once there was no condescending tone to his voice. "Peter, what if someone hurts Remus when he disappears?"

Peter frowned. "Maybe he's just clumsy. He always has a nose in a book - it's much more likely he just tripped or walked into something."

"I suppose you're right," James mused. "And he probably just gets stressed when he first hears the news about his mum. It must be terrible having to be away from someone you love when they're sick." He thought of his own mother and imagined how awful it would be if she took ill. But he had another one of his gut feelings that things weren't entirely as they seemed.

"What if they're not directly connected? What if it's Slytherins?" Sirius said. "You know Remus hates confrontation - what if they've been catching him alone and he's been afraid to tell us? Then he sneaks off to Pomfrey - and that's why they're so close! Have there ever been times he was injured but didn't disappear? Or suppose he runs home to his mother for some parental comfort?"

Unfortunately, James saw that there was some merit to that idea, and it would explain the matron's unique treatment of their friend. "You don't think we're causing him even greater stress with our little duels in the halls, do you? With a sick mum he has enough to worry about."

"I'll kill Snivellus with my bare hands…" Sirius muttered.

"No," James said firmly. "If we go after them specifically with Remus in mind, they'll likely to retaliate even worse when we're not around. What we need to do is stick to him like glue, so there's never a chance for attack."

Peter sighed. "I suppose that means we'll be spending a great deal of time in the library."

Peter's comment would have normally broken the tension, but James was unsettled lately. It seemed wrong to do something fun when Remus couldn't join. So instead, he kept trying to work out the puzzle in his head. Was there a pattern to when Remus disappeared? Any signs that could tip them off so they could sneak after him? Could one Floo into another wizard's home unnoticed, if no one was in the room?

James began formulating a plan.

/

It was very cold in the little shack, but Remus had refused to wear his good winter cloak during the winter transformations for fear of it being damaged by the wolf. Instead he'd made the trip down to the willow in an old pair of wool robes layered over a pair of muggle sweatpants and a muggle sweatshirt, two pairs of old socks and ratty old boots that were a size too small.

There was a bed in the house, and Dumbledore had thought to provide blankets, so Remus headed up the stairs to curl up there. He knew once the transformation took him the cold wouldn't matter, but he still had at least a half hour until it began and in the meantime he wanted to be warm when he stripped off the clothing in an effort to preserve it.

James had stopped watching the willow out of respect for Sirius and Andromeda. In other words, Remus' plan to divert attention had worked incredibly well. He knew he should feel guilty about it, but he liked to think that someone like Andromeda would understand. As it was, she still didn't know that four first-year Gryffindor boys knew her secret. Remus didn't want to be around when she found out.

The first few months of transformations at Hogwarts had gone rather well, all things considered, but Remus was anticipating a particularly miserable one this time out. He'd been overtired and irritable for three days already, and he hadn't had the appetite to even try the roast beef at dinner last night, which usually served well enough. He'd nibbled on a bit of sausage at breakfast but skipped lunch altogether and on top of being cold he was also hungry, despite his uneasy stomach.

Remus curled up in the fetal position on the bed, completely covered in blankets and already feeling rather wolf-like. He was missing his mother and father and the ease of being home, where he never had to watch what he said. He loved Hogwarts, but he always had to be on guard around James and Sirius, who were naturally curious and rather more observant than the average 11-year-old boy was given credit for. He knew his friends were picking up on his routine of falling ill, and it was only a matter of time before he was going to have to come up for excuses for the dark circles under his eyes days before the full moon. He'd been deliberating over what story to tell, but so far he hadn't come up with a satisfactory one.

He felt a tremor run through his body and knew the time had come. He closed his eyes and let himself become a victim of the moon.

Remus never had clear memories during his transformations, but bits and pieces did sometimes come back to him. That was how he remembered gnawing at his knee, and was therefore about to tell Madam Pomfrey where to look first when she came down to collect him.

"How bad?" He asked her.

"I've seen worse," she told him.

"Do you see a lot of monster bites?"

She pushed his hair off his forehead. "You, dear boy, are hardly a monster."

He closed his eyes and again saw flashes of the world through the wolf's eyes as it tore at its own flesh, desperate for something to distract itself from the desire to hunt, the bloodthirsty desire to kill.

"I think you're wrong," he whispered back. He closed his eyes.

James and Sirius said nothing when he returned, but he knew James was once again watching him more carefully than he'd like. In fact, he caught James stalking him all over the castle - why his friend didn't use the invisibility cloak he wasn't sure, but what he was sure of was that James didn't hang out between stacks in the library for sport. Remus tried to act nonchalant, but he knew James was following him because he was suspicious about the disappearances. Remus found himself struggling to fall asleep at night, and sleeping later into the mornings than he'd like.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Remusssssss, happy birthday to youuuuu." Thankfully, it wasn't long before a happy distraction popped up. Remus awoke to the sound of James Potter and Sirius Black singing on the morning of his 12th birthday.

He pushed open the curtains and smiled at his friends. "How did you know?"

"I have my ways," James said evasively. Remus wondered if James was brazen enough to break into the student files. Yes, he decided, yes that was probably exactly what James had done on his quest for information. He was glad Dumbledore had thought to leave no evidence of his affliction in that file.

"Presents!" Sirius shouted. "We have presents for you."

Remus hadn't received presents from anyone other than his parents for years, though his aunt sometimes sent a card from Australia.

"You didn't have to do that," he said.

"We know - but who doesn't like buying gifts?" James asked, grinning. "Open mine first!"

"No, mine!" Sirius shoved in.

To pacify both of them, Remus grabbed Peter's instead. It was a handsome new quill.

"It's self-sharpening," Peter explained. "Helpful for taking notes, I thought."

"Thank you Peter," Remus said, smiling. It was a handsome quill from what he guessed was a raven. Peter looked rather pleased.

"Now mine," James insisted again, and this time Sirius didn't argue. Remus unwrapped an elaborately wrapped box to find a smaller, book-shaped box inside.

"It has a special expansion charm on it," James said excitedly. "You put a book in it, and it absorbs it and stores it away. You can fit up to six in it and carry it around with you, and call up the book you want when you want it."

Remus fingered the wooden box, which had elaborate gold inlay and was engraved with his name. "James, this is too much…" It was a very thoughtful, and clearly expensive gift.

"No it's not - Dad has a friend who supplies Flourish and Blotts. He gave us the idea and a name of seller. I thought it would be perfect for you." Of course, it was. Remus already lugged around seven or eight books in his bag at any given moment - this would make things much easier.

"Such a show-off," Sirius teased. "Now open mine!"

It was a book. "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. A muggle book? American?" Remus asked, flipping it around to read the summary on the back. "How did you get this?" It was clearly new and had that pleasant new book smell.

"My uncle helped me out," Sirius said, grinning. "Do you like it?"

Remus continued to read the summary. "This book is not meant for children," he said finally, not sure if it was really his thing, but not wanting to sound ungrateful. "I best not let mother see it."

"I know, isn't it great? My uncle said it's a best-seller in muggle America."

Remus looked at Sirius, blinked, then laughed. Of course the fact that it was forbidden would make it more appealing to Sirius. In his way, the boy had also been very thoughtful.

"Thank you," Remus said, smiling. "Thank you all."

"You can put your new book in your new book carrier!" James said, snatching it and putting it in the box. The book immediately disappeared, but a little tab appeared with the name on it.

"Fantastic," Sirius said, slapping James on the back. "Now, let's get you out of that bed and head down to breakfast. I'm starved."

Remus hurried to the washroom, not wanting the others to wait too long on him. When he came back out, he grabbed the book carrier and his new quill and carefully placed them in his bag. He expected his mother would have sent along a letter he'd receive at breakfast - it cost good money to send packages via owl post, after all.

But birthday gifts from friends! He would treasure them, no matter what happened when they found out his secret. Because today, on this birthday, he was just another 12-year-old-boy, just like everyone else.

He hugged his bag to his chest and ran after his three friends to breakfast.

/

"The Easter holidays were coming and Sirius was getting sick of hearing James talk about how thrilled he was to return home to his mother and celebrate his birthday.

"Of course Mum doesn't put much stock in Muggle religions, but we usually go to the Muggle church down the way and sit in on the ceremony. The singing is glorious," James told Peter. "After that we head home and have the most delicious supper. When I was younger we hid eggs but of course I've grown out of that."

"Sounds a great deal better than Easter at our house," Sirius said."Grandfather insists we all dress up in finery just to sit at the table for hours talking nonsense about the resurrection of the pureblood race. Last year there were six courses - I couldn't escape the table for hours."

"Mom and I always travel to Auntie Carol's house - dinner is lovely," Peter said, a dreamy expression on his face. "And there are about ten types of pudding."

"Mother and I go to Mass," Remus said. "Father doesn't think much of it, but it's very important to Mother that we go. She was so upset when I wasn't baptized as a child, so Father lets her have the Easter holiday."

"Do the priests still preach the burning of witches?" Sirius asked curiously.

Remus looked offended. "Of course not!"

"Boring," Sirius sighed, lying back on his bed. He wasn't looking forward to his trip home. He still hadn't told his friends all he'd heard on the last one, and he was likely to learn more unsavory information when he returned. Sirius did not like keep secrets from James. He planned to tell him everything, but he wanted to have the pieces connected before he did that.

Sirius said his goodbyes to his friends on the train then headed into London with his cousins. The whole family would be at his house for dinner that evening, so the adults had decided that rather then send the girls home first, they would all rendezvous at Grimmauld Place.

This wasn't a bad arrangement as far as Sirius was concerned. Andromeda shrunk all their trunks down considerably, and Sirius offered to carry the luggage the short distance to the Floo point, which delighted Narcissa. The girls were in a good mood and Andromeda even grabbed Sirius a muggle magazine from a newsstand when Narcissa wasn't looking.

Sirius was enjoying himself considerably until he was slammed with a powerful thought: This could be one of the last times he spent a day like this with his cousin Andromeda. The thought sobered the mood considerably.

They arrived at Grimmauld Place and Sirius, for once, was given a pleasant greeting by his father, who was pleased Sirius had carried the trunks for the ladies. Orion called Kreacher to handle the luggage and ushered the children upstairs to change out of their "nasty muggle wear" and into something more suitable for dinner.

Sirius was seated between his father and Regulus for dinner, opposite Bellatrix, who spent most of the night trying to convince her father to let her have the wedding in some church in Croydon.

"I don't see what the fuss is, Father. It's just the use of the stone and wood we're after, not the ridiculous muggle religion."

"A woman of your station should be married somewhere befitting, a wizarding fief turned palace."

"But Father, there's a greater purpose to this marriage than a simple union between witch and wizard."

"Indeed there is - two honored families are celebrating their heritage with another union pure in blood."

"That's not what I mean and you know it," Bellatrix hissed.

"More to what?" Andromeda asked, but her sister just glared.

"That's none of your concern, Dromeda," Bellatrix said coldly. "And by the way, why haven't you brought home any eligible men yet? Cissy tells me you don't even date at school. You're of age now, you should be thinking about the future."

"Not even dating?" Aunt Druella broke in. "A girl of your caliber? Why ever not?"

"Now, now," Cygnus said. "Maybe she simply hasn't found a boy that sparks her interest. It's wise to have high standards."

Andromeda carefully wiped her face with a napkin, then turned to her father. "Actually, Daddy, I have found someone who sparks my interest."

Sirius nearly choked on his pumpkin juice, causing Regulus to look at him curiously.

"What?!" Narcissa exclaimed. "Why Dromeda, you've been holding out on me! Who is he?" Narcissa, blissfully unaware of what was about to happen, seemed genuinely excited for her sister.

Sirius sunk down in his chair, hoping Andromeda had a plan he couldn't predict, and also wanting to be out of the line of fire if anyone started throwing things.

Unfortunately, Andromeda Black possessed some of the fool-hardy courage normally associated with Gryffindor, and she plunged headfirst into the deep end. "His name is Edward Tonks."

For the first time, Sirius fully understood the meaning of the phrase "the silence was deafening." He was afraid to move, or speak, or even breathe. A moment or two passed while the adults considered the genealogy they'd memorized years ago, and then Cygnus spoke.

"You must be confused, love, there is no Tonks family in the sacred 28. This boy must have misled you."

"He has not misled me," Andromeda said, her face impassive as she took a sip of wine.

Cygnus glanced at his wife, clearly looking for help.

"Darling, " Druella said, "I know our numbers have dwindled, but surely you cannot be considering dating a half-blood?"

Andromeda shook her head. "Oh, no mother, I'm not considering dating a half-blood." She paused, and for a fraction of a second the adults looked relieved. "I'm considering marrying a muggleborn."

The room exploded in noise as Druella gasped, Cygnus roared, Orion choked, Walburga knocked over her goblet on the table, Pollux stood and slammed his hands down on the table, and Irma fainted. Arcturus and Melania were out, or curses would have started flying. It was Bellatrix who spoke.

"Have you been obliviated?" She asked, incredulous. "Have you forgotten who we are?"

Uncle Alphard, who had rushed to help his mother, gestured at Sirius, Narcissa and Regulus. "Perhaps you three should come with me…"

Sirius quickly rose, but there was no escape. "No," Walburga said sharply. "They should hear this conversation."

Despite the hostility, Andromeda looked perfectly calm and continued to eat her meal. "I had hoped you might meet him, Daddy," she said, "before such a dramatic rejection."

"Meet him? A mudblood!" Sirius could see the veins popping in his uncle's temples. "Cease speaking this rubbish at once. You will not see the mudblood. In fact, we will pull you from Hogwarts immediately and you will finish out your final year here, with tutors. That school has been exposing you to dangerous ideas. I never expected that you would be so weak-minded as to fall for them."

"You cannot pull me from school," Andromeda said, still calm. "I am of age. As such, decisions about my education are up to me."

"If you do not obey, you will never see another knut from us. What will you live on?" Druella said cruelly.

Andromeda took another sip of wine. "I've actually made several investments with the goblins using my allowance, and the payoff has worked out in my favor. As the accounts are in my age, and, as aforementioned, I am of age, the money is mine, so I scarcely need more of yours."

"This is madness!" Bellatrix shrieked. "What about your duty to our family? The duty to our sacred blood? You must carry children to continue this essential bloodline!"

Andromeda turned to look at her elder sister. "If you are content to become an obedient, baby-making society wife to that idiot Rodolphus I am in full support of your choice," she told her. "I, however, am weary of high-society parties where women are meant to be decorations who stay at home and live for nothing more than entertaining guests and redecorating the parlor depending on the season."

If the moment hadn't been so tense, Sirius would have laughed. His mother had four sets of decor and curtains for the house that he watched Kreacher switch out as the seasons cycled.

The adults looked too angry to speak. Narcissa looked like she was frozen in shock, and Reggie looked miserable and confused. Sirius wondered what his face looked like.

The young witch that caused all the commotion stood. "I suppose I'll be going." She walked around to Regulus and kissed him on the forehead. "I will miss you, sweet Reggie," she told him. She reached over and ruffled Sirius' hair. "I'll see you at school." She tried to embrace Narcissa, but the girl pulled away and ran from the room. Sirius suspected she was crying.

Andromeda sighed. "I suppose that's it, then." No one responded, but Bellatrix glowered and Sirius noticed her wand hand twitch. But before any curses flew, Andromeda walked out the door.

The heavy door slamming behind her brought the adults back to life. Sirius yelped as his mother grabbed him by the ear. "What did I do?"

She didn't respond until they were standing before the Black family tapestry, a hideous piece tracing the family tree all the way to the Dark Ages. She raised her wand, and for a second Sirius felt his stomach drop in cold fear, but she directed it at the wall, not at him.

"This is what happens to those who betray this family," she told him.

"No!" Sirius couldn't help but cry out as his mother blasted Andromeda's name off the tapestry. "Why?!" He shouted at her, pulling out of her grasp. "She hasn't married him yet. What if she changes her mind?! What if she wants to come home?" Of course he realized as he said it that Andromeda had no desire to return - she wouldn't have make such a scene lightly.

"Blood traitors are not welcome to return. They will find no home here," his mother told him. "And don't you dare forget that."

Everything was playing out exactly the way Sirius had feared it would. He burned with rage over the unfairness of it all.

"This isn't a home, it's a bloody prison," he snapped, stomping out of the room and up the stairs.

/

The moment Peter stepped through the magical wall onto Platform 9 ¾, he was accosted by an anxious James Potter.

"Petey," James said, his voice an urgent whisper. "Bad things happened over the holiday."

Peter gasped. He hadn't seen any stories in the Daily Prophet - granted, he hadn't really paid attention to the paper over the holiday. "Who died?"

"What?" James looked confused. "Oh no, not that."

"Oh." Peter was relieved. "Then what do you mean?"

"Everyone's been talking about it across my parents' circles. Andromeda Black was disowned by her family. Apparently she's been staying with the Macmillans - all pureblood families are distantly related. I'm not entirely sure how..."

"Oh." Peter let the news sink in. "Oh. no. No no no!" He started looking around the platform. "Where's Sirius? Isn't there a department in the ministry that handles issues like child neglect?"

"The Blacks are untouchable, and anyway, she's of age. I haven't seen him yet, and he hasn't returned any of my owls." He scowled. ""I tried to convince mother to let me go visit in person, but she said it was rude to show up uninvited to another person's home over a holiday. Oh look - there's Lupin. And I guess that man is his father?"

James strode forward quickly and Peter struggled to keep up with his trunk. His mother had just dropped him at the train station, telling him she was confident he could find his way. It had been a proud moment for Peter, his mother trusting him with such independence. But now he really wished she was there so he could leave his luggage and keep up with James."

"James Potter, sir," James was saying to the tall, skinny man standing next to Remus. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance." He grabbed the adult's hand and shook. "Can I borrow Remus here for a moment? Important business, you see."

As usual, Peter was impressed with the way James presented himself. Remus' father glanced at his son for direction then gave the boys a small smile. "Well I suppose I can't stand in the way of that."

James drew Remus a few steps away and repeated what he'd just told Peter.

"Oh, this is bad," Remus said.

"The Blacks will come down hard on the other children after this," James said.

"You don't suppose they'll keep Sirius from school?" Remus asked.

"I've considered the possibility. He didn't answer my owls."

"We have to do something."

"We can break him out."

"I was thinking more along the lines of talking to McGonagall."

"Ah. That's a good point."

"Though Sirius probably wouldn't thank us for that."

"He does like to handle things in his own way."

"We need a way to communicate with him."

"Floo?"

"Too risky."

"A patronus?"

"James, you're very advanced for your age, but we're only 12."

As usual, James and Remus were hammering out the details of how to handle a situation while Peter stood by, useless. That was until a head of wavy black hair caught his eye.

"Guys...guys….GUYS!" Peter finally shouted, causing Remus and James to turn. Sirius was walking through the crowd alongside an imposing looking man in expensive robes.

"Sirius!" James didn't give the man a second thought, launching himself at his friend and throwing an arm around his shoulders. "It's like I haven't spoken to you in ages. Oh wait, I reckon it has been nearly a fortnight. Care to explain?"

"Bugger off, Potter," Sirius hissed. "Now's not the time." Peter would have balked at a tone like that, but James pressed on.

"Is it not?" James turned to the man next to his friend. "Where are my manners? I apologise." He gave a quick bow. "James Fleamont Potter, Heir to House Potter. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, sir."

Sirius rolled his eyes and glared at his friend. "May I present Orion Black, son of Arcturus Black III, and my father."

"So, the Potter boy," Orion said, scrutinizing James carefully. Peter instinctively ducked behind Remus. He didn't want to be analyzed by those cold eyes.

Thankfully at that moment both Remus' and James' father made their appearance. "Really boys, if you dally along like this you'll miss the train," Fleamont told his son. "Ah, Orion. Always a pleasure."

"Fleamont. How are things running over at St. Mungo's?"

"Oh, splendid, splendid," Fleamont said. His eyes fell on Remus' father. "I don't believe I know you. Fleamont Potter." He held out a hand.

"Lyall Lupin," the man said, extending a hand. "It looks like our boys have become quite the group. Remus ran off with James the moment he spotted him."

"Well, a boy shouldn't be without his mates," Fleamont said, smiling. "I already know Orion and Sirius. And I take it this is your son - the Remus Lupin I've heard so much about?" Remus smiled and nodded.

The man turned to Peter, smiling benignly. "And then this is Peter Pettigrew, the boy who sent James a birthday gift."

Peter grinned until Remus turned to him, looking betrayed. "You sent a gift?"

Peter shrugged. "Just a little something." For once, Peter had been more on top of things than Remus. He basked in the moment.

Lyall Lupin cleared his throat. "I think we need to get this lot on the train."

Peter gave a nervous glance at Sirius and Orion. But clearly if they were going to pull their son from school, they wouldn't have come to the train station, right?

Somehow the group maneuvered around the crowd and the boys escaped into the safety of their own apartment. Then James started in.

"Did your mother hold your owls AGAIN? Do you have any idea how worried I've been?!"

"So you've already heard then?" Sirius asked. His face was impassive, but Peter knew better than to let his guard down in a situation like this.

"Of course we've heard," James said, a little quieter this time.

"Are you all right, Sirius?" Remus asked.

Before Sirius could answer, the compartment door slid open. Peter resisted the urge to groan. It was a collection of Slytherins, including Rodolphus Lestrange and his brother, Lucius Malfoy, Steven Mulciber and Narcissa Black.

"Ahh, here he is. The budding blood traitor. I would have thought you'd immediately go running to your whore cousin once we got on the train," Rodolphus said.

"Don't call her that," Sirius said through clenched teeth.

"Why not? That's what she is. A pity, really. Bella was hoping our children would have cousins close in age. But we can't be associating with dirty little half-bloods."

"That slag probably won't even have kids," Rastaban said. "Who knows what kind of things she's contracted from that mudblood? Any offspring could come out deformed."

"It's probably better that way," Lucius added. "No need to sully up the Black line more than it already is. But it can't be helped. We all have to prune our family trees now and again. Right, love?" He asked Narcissa.

"How can you let them talk about your sister like that?" Sirius asked his cousin. Peter could feel the enmity rolling off of his friend. He felt like he should do something, but he knew anything he said would be inadequate.

Narcissa pursed her lips. "That blood traitor is no sister of mine."

Then the explosion happened.

No, literally, an explosion. Peter felt himself thrown off his feet and felt his head smack against the seat of the compartment. He heard glass shattering, then everything went dark.

"Petey? Petey?" Peter awoke to a hand on his face. James was looking down at him with a concerned frown on his face. James himself looked a little worse for wear - there was a cut on his forehead and what looked like a bruise developing on his temple.

Peter's ears were ringing and he rubbed them, trying to clear it up. "What happened?"

James looked uncomfortable. "Well...um…just sit up for me."

Peter sat up and his eyes widened. The compartment was trashed - the glass sliding door was shattered, the luggage rack was bent and the trunks had all fallen. The Slytherins were nowhere to be seen.

"What the-"

"What happened here?" Gideon Prewett had appeared and was looking at the shattered door in shock. "We just heard a bang. What the bloody hell were you firsties doing?"

"It was an accident," James said quickly, trying to block the bigger boy's path. "I'll clean it right up with a nice Reparo…"

But Gideon shoved him aside and continued looking around. "You bent the metal on the luggage rack. Was this you or Black?" Gideon looked like he couldn't decide whether to laugh or scold the boys.

"Again, it was an accident, a miscalculation you see -"

"You're bleeding, Potter." Frank Longbottom had followed Gideon and was now examining James' face, despite the smaller boy's best efforts to escape. "And the little one looks like he has a bump on his head."

Peter's head did hurt, and he was still confused. He looked around again, wondering if Sirius and Remus were okay. What had happened? Had they suffered a Slytherin attack? His eyes found the other two boys - it was a small space after all - but he wasn't expecting to see what he saw.

Sirius was sitting on the floor, his knees pulled up and his face buried in them, like he was trying to make himself as small as possible. His arms were around his knees. That was unlike him. Remus was standing next to him, a cut on his cheek but looking otherwise uninjured. Figures Peter would be the only one with any significant damage.

Before Peter could say anything, Kingsley Shacklebolt appeared and looked around. The normally calm prefect was incensed. "Of all the ridiculous pranks - did you really just blow up a compartment on the Hogwarts Express? Do you have any idea how dangerous that is?"

"It was an accident -" James tried to say, but Shacklebolt cut him off.

"Black, we talked about this before. Now I have no choice but to report you to McGonagall."

"Hey now, you're misunderstanding everything - the Slytherins -" James was saying.

"Fifty points from Gryffindor, Potter, since I don't know which one of you did it," Shacklebolt snapped. The older boys winced and looked at the younger ones with sympathy. "And Black, you're going straight to McGonagall for this. I'm not looking the other way for you again. You could be expelled for this."

"But it was-"

"Don't push it, Potter."

"But - "

"It was me!" Peter blurted out. He wasn't sure what just happened, but Sirius couldn't be expelled. Not now. Not after what just happened to the Blacks.

The prefect paused and the other two older boys turned to look at him with interest.

"It was!" Peter said. "I was trying to make fire, you see - James and Sirius are so good at it and it saves so much time in Potions - I was just trying to make a little fire - but obviously I did something wrong because it blew up in my face and threw me backwards and I hit my head and-"

Shacklebolt held up a hand. "Okay, okay, stop. You're a terrible liar."

"I'm not lying."

"Then what was Potter blabbering about the Slytherins?"

"They always make fun of me in Potions for making my fire the muggle way. Slughorn lights the fires for his favorites, but leaves the rest of us to fend for ourselves -"

Shacklebolt still looked suspicious, but Peter was beating him down. "I'm already so behind in Potions, I just wanted a little advantage. But obviously I'm rubbish at Charms as well…" He made the most pitiful face he could muster and rubbed the bump developing on his head. "This smarts…"

It worked. Shacklebolt stood down. "So this whole mess was really an accident?"

James, Peter and Remus all nodded aggressively.

"Then why is Black hiding in the corner?"

"Trying not to laugh in Petey's face, I'm sure," James said quickly. "Look how red his ears are. They always get like that when he's trying not to laugh."

"You came down a little hard on Potter and Black just now, K," Gideon teased. "I think maybe you owe them a little apology…"

The prefect glared at the redhead, but then shrugged. "That was still very dangerous," he said. "You shouldn't be trying spells you can't handle," he told Peter. "And you-" he turned to James, Sirius and Remus "-shouldn't be encouraging him to try things beyond his skill level. I stand by what I did with the points. And I'll still be reporting the four of you to McGonagall."

James and Remus nodded, but Sirius still had his head buried in his knees.

"Have your head checked out by Madam Pomfrey when we get back to school," Shacklebolt directed Peter. Then he waved his wand and repaired the glass door.

"Hey thanks!" James said brightly. Shacklebolt just narrowed his eyes and walked away.

Gideon surveyed the damage once more while Frank offered James a handkerchief to wipe the blood off his face.

"I never thought I'd meet someone who got into more trouble than Gideon as a first year," he said, chuckling. "Try to be more careful."

"Oh we will, don't you worry," James said, ushering the two older boys out. When they left, he slammed the door and turned to Sirius.

"What the bloody hell was that?"

* * *

A/N: Everyone always talks about how Sirius split away from his family. What we don't seem to talk about much is that before Sirius did it, there was Andromeda. I have a big family with a lot of cousins who heavily influenced me as a child. We don't know much about Andromeda except for the snippets we get, but we do know the kind of daughter she raised. I like to think Andromeda was a strong influence on young Sirius, and I wanted to explore that.


	25. A Moment's Peace

A/N: I just wanted to give a quick shoutout to everyone who took the time to review recently. I don't usually respond to individual reviews, but I do read every single one and your comments and encouragement never fail to make me smile.

Also, I have to acknowledge a mistake. On rereading for clarity's sake, I realized I've been writing Rastaban instead of Rabastan when referring to everyone's favorite younger Lestrange brother. I don't have an editor and unfortunately, I didn't notice until we reached Chapter 25. Sad fail. I will attempt to fix it in the old chapters. Thank you all for not laughing at me.

And now, we return to our story.

* * *

He hadn't meant to do it. He really hadn't. And usually when Sirius destroyed things, he very much meant to.

It had been a rough holiday. His parents, grandparents, and aunt and uncle had insisted on acting as though everything was perfectly normal, even though nothing would ever be normal again. They'd taken away Andromeda's place setting for Easter dinner. Sirius' mother had removed all photos of Andromeda from the house - including some of Sirius' favorite memories - and quizzed him on the Black family eight generations back every night. She'd forbidden him from sending any owls, though he'd still received his letters from James and Remus. She'd paraded him around awful parties with the Lestranges and Malfoys and groups of people Sirius didn't even know. She'd even been short with Regulus, her golden child, when he made the mistake of asking why it smelled like smoke in the tapestry room.

It had gone without saying that no one was to mention Andromeda's name. It had also gone without saying that Sirius was not to try to contact her in any way.

Sirius had never gone through a holiday without his cousin - the family, being obsessed with bloodline and therefore having a rather small social circle, had always done things together. Narcissa was an angry wreck, and Regulus was a sad one, which left Sirius to be the strong one. He could not break down, nor let his guard down, not with Rodolphus Lestrange and Bellatrix constantly hanging around.

So he'd held it together. All the misery and grief and anger at Andromeda for doing what she did was pushed down, hidden away in a little part of him.

Until he'd heard the Slytherins talk about her, and he realized, as mad as he was, he still needed to defend her.

"Whore. Slag. Blood traitor."

It kept playing over and over in his head. Somehow, hearing insults directed at someone you cared about was infinitely worse than hearing them said of yourself.

"Yo, Black, what's wrong with you?"

Oh, wait, that last bit wasn't in his head. It just sounded far off because of the ringing in his ears.

Finally, he made himself look up. And there he saw three very concerned looking faces.

"Can you hear me, Black?" James asked. Sirius nodded.

"You might have given us a warning to duck," Peter grumbled.

"He didn't know we'd need to," Remus said quietly. "Right Sirius?"

Sirius sighed and let his arms fall down to his sides. "I'm sorry Petey. How's your head?"

"It hurts. Will someone tell me what just happened?"

James crossed his arms. "This is just an educated guess, but it seems like someone just released a massive amount of magical power into a tiny little train compartment."

"James -" Remus started to say.

"Which is incredibly dangerous, as Shacklebolt said. And stupid. And it was brilliant! Did you see how fast the Slytherins turned tail? Mulciber nearly wet himself." James' facial expression changed from one of condemnation to almost gleeful, but Sirius couldn't rouse himself enough to be amused.

"That's not the word I would have used…" Remus said. "Sirius, are you hurt?"

"M'fine," Sirius mumbled. He was embarrassed. Only young children lost control of their magic. "I didn't plan it. I didn't even have hold on my wand yet."

Before the boys could continue, the compartment door slid open again. Sirius groaned.

It was Andromeda.

She strode past the other three boys as if she didn't even see them and knelt next to her cousin, for Sirius was still on the floor. "You blew up a train compartment?"

"Why do you assume it was me?" He asked. "And you can't be here." He did not want to see her. After all, she'd betrayed him. She could have waited until the end of the school year, at least. She could have given him some warning. As it was - she didn't even know he'd known about Tonks ahead of time. She'd just sprung it on everyone without considering anyone's feelings but her own.

"I can be wherever I please," she told him. "And I'll ask again. Did you blow up a train compartment?"

"Sort of…"

"Gideon Prewett is telling everyone a Gryffindor first-year blew up a train compartment trying to make fire. That sounds like you."

"Don't be ridiculous. I can make fire without creating an explosion. And since when do you speak to Gideon Prewett?" In truth, Sirius hadn't paid much attention to who Andromeda associated with at school, excepting the young Mr. Tonks. "Now go away."

"Sirius -" She grabbed him by the chin and forced him to look at her. "Did you blow up a train compartment?"

He glared at her. "Okay, fine. Yes, I blew up a bloody train compartment. I blew up a bloody train compartment and I didn't even mean to do it. I did it because everything is just a bloody fucking mess!" He let himself lash out at her, hoping she could feel his anger and despair, which felt like it was going to consume him. Hadn't he dealt with enough this year, being sorted into Gryffindor? He was already the wayward Black. How could she have given him more of a challenge to overcome?

"You're too young to use those words…" she whispered, pushing hair out of his face.

"Don't tell me what I am. You don't have a right anymore." He tried to escape her grip. "You left!"

She sighed. "You're right. I left. I had to leave. I thought you, of all people, would understand why."

Sirius felt his anger bubbling up his throat. "Well, I don't. I don't understand why you get to leave, and I have to stay there. Did you even think about that part of it? I HAVE TO STAY!"

Andromeda glanced at the other three boys, who were visibly uncomfortable. Sirius hated that his family problems were being aired out like this, making him look so foolish and weak in front of his friends.

"Sirius, I'd be leaving my parents' house and spending less time around after finishing school regardless…remember when Bella left?"

"So?" He suppressed a sob.

"So you'd have to do without me eventually anyway. Everyone has to leave at some point."

"Well, that's a load of hippogriff crap," James broke in.

Both Blacks turned to look at him. He was standing at his full height with his arms crossed, staring up at Andromeda with disapproval on his face.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me," James shot back. "You know, Sirius here is always talking about how you're his favorite cousin, and how wonderful you are. But to be honest, I just don't see it."

Andromeda looked like she'd just smelled something unpleasant. "As usual, Potter, you're overstepping your bounds. This is none of your business."

"No, you're wrong." This time Remus spoke. "What you did affects Sirius, so it is our business. You've hurt him."

"Even little Lupin is upset with me?" Her voice softened. "And what do you think you know about what I did?"

"Well, I know you've been dating a muggleborn," James said. "And don't misunderstand - I think you should date whomever you please. But you're not a fool. You knew what it would mean for your family. And yet you didn't even have the decency to give Sirius here a heads up."

"Who I date is hardly the business of my younger cousin."

"Well it should be!" Sirius snapped, standing up. "You could have told me - I never would have told mum or anyone else."

"It was safer for you not to know, Sirius, don't you see that? Safer for you," she said.

"Bullocks!" Sirius shouted. "I knew anyway. You weren't subtle, leaving footprints all around the Whomping Willow after all that snogging." He pointed an accusatory finger at his cousin.

"You knew about that?"

Sirius nodded. "Why do adults always think it's a good idea to lie to children?" And why was it sucha common theme in his life?

"I didn't lie, I simply didn't tell you."

"Withholding information can be just as bad as lying," James said angrily. "My god woman, do you hear yourself? You act as though this is your private business but your actions have far-reaching consequences. Did you consider Sirius' feelings at all? Did you forget that when Sirius is upset, he's likely to lose control? And when Sirius loses control, people like Petey here get hurt!" James grabbed the smaller boy and shoved his head down so Andromeda could see the bump on his head. "You know, this is really your fault."

"Take it down a degree or two, James," Lupin warned.

Andromeda looked at James as if simultaneously tempted to punt him across the compartment and also admitting he may have a point. She sighed and ran a hand through her long hair. "Look, Sirius, sweetie, I'm sorry that the way I did it upset you, I really am. But Ted is my soulmate. It would all have come to this anyway."

Sirius couldn't understand why she wasn't more upset about the upheaval she had caused. "How do you know?" He demanded.

She smiled. "I just know."

"That's not good enough," he insisted. "You're giving up everything for one bloke!"

Andromeda shrugged. "Maybe it's not good enough for you yet. But someday, you'll find someone you're willing to give up everything for, and then you'll understand."

Sirius wanted to hold on to his anger. He wanted to yell and scream and kick and destroy something. But more than that, he wanted Andromeda back from Ted Tonks. And he knew it wasn't going to happen.

"I hate this," he muttered, turning away from her. But did he really have the right to be so angry with her? She wasn't his mother, or even his sister. She didn't owe him any more than she'd already given.

She responded by stepping forward and wrapping her arms around him. "I'm sorry," she whispered in his ear. "Someday I hope I can make it up to you." She released him from the hug and ruffled his hair.

He sighed and sat down hard on the compartment floor. He was resigned to the situation now. "They're calling you names."

"Let them," she said.

"You'll be okay?" he asked.

"Of course I will," she answered. "You?"

He blew out a deep breath. "Sure. You really should go before Cissy or her crew see you here. I don't need Mum hearing about it."

She left, and Sirius was left alone with his friends once more. At once, Remus produced a chunk of chocolate. How he always had it on him Sirius would never know.

"Eat this, it will help," Remus insisted.

"Do you want to talk about it?" James asked.

"Do you want a cauldron cake?" Peter offered.

"I hate my family," Sirius said, taking a bite of the chocolate. Remus was right - it did make him feel slightly better.

Remus and James settled on either side of him, and Peter dropped down across. It was tight quarters on the floor - which was really only meant for their feet, but the boys made it work. Despite his shame and embarrassment, having his friends there did help Sirius calm down.

"You know what I think?" James said after a while.

"Whaf?" Sirius had made his way through the chocolate and was now eating one of the cauldron cakes.

"I think we need to find a way to channel all that rage you have into something productive."

"Productive?"

"Yes." James Potter grinned in a way that only James Potter could and ran a hand through his messy hair. "I think you should try out for Beater next year."

"No way! Beating is all physical - there's no strategy to it. I want to be a Chaser."

"I think James has a point," Remus said. "Imagine if you could hit a Bludger with the force you used earlier."

"That was my magic, not my body," Sirius argued.

"What your magic does it tied to how your body and brain work," Remus said. "They all work in concert with each other. Face it - you were upset and you wanted to destroy something. Some people would react by crying, or shouting, or quietly holing up somewhere they couldn't be found. You reacted with force."

"Come on Black, just imagine how satisfying it would be to knock a few Slytherins off their brooms. You can't do that as a Chaser."

"Personally, I'd rather see you hit a Bludger than hit me again," Peter said.

"I said I was sorry about your head, Petey," Sirius grumbled.

"We'll have plenty of time to practice over the summer," James said brightly.

"If I'm allowed out of the house," Sirius grumbled.

"I'll have mother see to it that our invitation is accepted," James said, as if that settled the matter. "Now that we've moved through this little rough patch, I do believe we have work to do."

"What kind of work?" Peter asked.

"Isn't it obvious? We need to come up with a prank for Ted Tonks. Not a mean one!" James added quickly when Remus opened his mouth to protest. "Nothing cruel. But come on - Sirius needs to get the guy back at least a little bit, right?"

"Damn right I do," Sirius said, his heart lifting. "What did you have in mind?"

"There's a spell that makes you grow feathers, then molt like a sick chicken…."

Sirius nearly dropped his sweet. The suggestion had come from Lupin, not James. Sirius grinned. His friends always did cheer him up.

/

Sirius Black was powerful and dangerous.

Remus had always known this, in the back of his head, and chosen not to care. But after a display of out-of-control magic, Remus had to concede that Sirius could do real damage if someone didn't rein him in. And since James wasn't particularly good at that sort of thing, and Peter didn't seem to have the strength of character for it, that duty would fall to Remus. Remus had no idea if there was a test for magical ability, but if there was, he would love to see how Sirius measured. Clearly, his latent ability was formidable. Remus would bet his last knut that James' was also strong. He wondered if it was a pureblood thing. He hoped not. That fell too much in line with the thinking of the blood purists, and he wanted nothing to do with that.

Remus had no way of knowing if his own magic stacked up against his friends' because he was unwilling to try. He already knew what it was to be dangerous - he was a werewolf after all - even his own parents hid from him during a full moon - and he had no desire to run the risk of hurting anyone.

(Of course, had he tried, young Remus Lupin may have found himself pleasantly surprised to learn he was quite a match for Sirius or James. But more on that later.)

Remus was considering exactly how - and if - he could control his two friends when they were all whisked into Professor McGonagall's office immediately upon arriving at the castle.

The deputy headmistress was never one to beat around the bush. "Kingsley Shacklebolt tells me you blew up a compartment on the train," she said. Her eyes were hard. Some may have mistaken them for cold, but Remus knew better. Remus knew the Head of Gryffindor was all fire, smoldering under the surface.

"It was me, " Peter said, sticking to the story they'd gone with on the train. "I was trying to create fire."

The lie may have convinced Kingsley, but Remus wasn't so sure it would work on McGonagall. The witch had years of experience dealing with troublemaking children, after all.

She peered at them over the frames of her glasses. "Steven Mulciber and Rabastan Lestrange just checked in to the hospital wing for treatment of cuts and bruises. Madam Pomfrey tells me the injuries are consistent with being involved in a small explosion."

Remus was dying to know how the staff had communicated this so quickly - why, the boys had barely stepped off the train!

"What a strange coincidence, Professor," James said. "I reckon they may have been trying the same spell."

"Don't test me, Mr. Potter," the witch said sharply. "The truth, I want it now, or I'll take another fifty points from Gryffindor and set you all in detention for the remainder of term and the next. That would leave you no time to try out for Quidditch."

Remus knew that was a threat that would hit James hard. His friend gasped. "How could you, of all people, risk the team's prospect that way?"

"The truth, Mr. Potter."

But James just set his mouth and stared at her defiantly. Instead it was Sirius that spoke. And for once, he did come out with the truth.

"It was my fault, Professor," he said. "They were calling my cousin names and I lost myself."

The witch turned to him. "Your cousin Andromeda, I presume?"

"Does everyone know my family business?" he grumbled.

"Katinka Macmillan wrote the headmaster, who briefed the teachers. Unfortunately, it's not the first time a pureblood family has chosen to reject their own child." Her tone made it clear she disapproved of the practice. "That aside, family troubles do not excuse your behavior. Any kind of explosion spell, particularly in close quarters, puts students a risk. You cannot raise a wand against others with the intent to do harm. I will not have that. Normal procedure would be to suspend, if not expel you."

Sirius' eyes widened. "Does that mean I would have to go home?" This was not the characteristic Sirius Black, full of cheek and a healthy level of disregard for rules and punishments. This was a boy vulnerable, afraid, and at that exact moment, unable to defend himself.

"Professor?" Remus broke in bravely. His friend was drowning. He needed someone to throw him a life preserver, and fast. "What if it was an accident? I mean, in March Henry Connors blew up a goblet in Charms and burned off his eyebrows, but he wasn't punished. And in November, Jenny Fraser's potion exploded when she added too many toad toes, but the only consequence she suffered was poor marks for the day. And when I sent off a rogue hex, you were very reasonable."

"Those cases were all clearly the result of mistakes and a lack of magical control, which is common in Hogwarts, particularly among first years. This situation suggests an intentional attack on other students. Provoked or not, this is a serious offense."

Inspiration struck Remus. He just hoped his intuition was correct. "I realize it was an attack, Professor, but not an intentional one. Check his wand."

"Excuse me?"

"Check his wand," Remus repeated. That will show you what spell he cast, right?"

This was a risky suggestion. Sirius had said he'd lost control of his magic. Remus was guessing it happened the same way it would with a young children, channeled without use of a wand. If he was right, he was sure he could convince McGonagall to be lenient - he hadn't forgotten her kindness at the beginning of the year, and he knew she would never enjoy the prospect of throwing a child out of school. But if he was wrong, he'd just given her evidence that Sirius was a danger to others.

She took the bait, her calculating eyes sizing Remus up carefully. "I suppose it won't hurt anyone to check. Wand, Mr. Black?"

Sirius glanced at Remus, who nodded encouragingly. Merlin, he hoped he was right about this.

And he was. When McGonagall checked the wand, it showed a series of menial spells like lumos and alohomora. Thankfully, having been on break there hadn't been much reason for Sirius to jinx or hex anybody.

"Fascinating," she said, handing the wand back to Sirius.

"So, does it not appear that Sirius, just like our other classmates, simply lost control? And then, by all logic, should he not be treated the same way you treated those other classmates? We are just first years, after all." Remus spoke very quickly as to not lose his nerve.

McGonagall looked impressed. "I admit, based on the evidence presented, that is the logical conclusion, Mr. Lupin."

"So you won't punish him?" Peter asked.

Her eyes flickered quickly to Peter before falling back on Sirius. "Not quite. Mr. Black, you absolutely must learn to control your magic, even under great emotional stress."

"I'm afraid emotions aren't his strong suit," James said, looking amused as Sirius scowled.

"Nonetheless, as you are a first year, I am inclined to agree with Mr. Lupin," the Professor said. "Detention with me for the next week, Mr. Black. Provided we don't have another episode, after that I will consider the matter closed."

Sirius didn't look happy about that, but he knew it was better than being suspended. "Fair enough. But can we not write Mum about it?"

McGonagall considered this, then nodded. "I doubt informing your mother would be productive. We want to fix the problem, not exacerbate it, after all. Now, off to Gryffindor Tower with you. I don't want to have to see you four in my office again, understood?" The boys nodded and began to file out.

"Mr. Lupin?" The Professor called after him.

"Yes?" He paused.

"Do try to look out for Mr. Black. Mr. Potter has his heart in the right place, but they could both use a friend with some good sense to keep them in line."

Oh, Merlin. What did it mean when the werewolf was the member of the group with the good sense?

"I'll do my best."

He stepped out of the office and followed his friends.

"Lupin, you're a gentleman and a scholar!" Sirius said as they trudged up the stairs. "Why, I've half a mind to kiss you right there on the lips."

"Please don't," Remus responded, though he was smiling. A werewolf with good sense. What a world.

/

"What's this?" James asked, picking up a piece of parchment that had been displaced from Sirius' jungle. The boys had been keeping to the dormitory more than usual, trying to keep Sirius distracted from his troubles with games and pranks while also isolating him from the general population as a safety precaution. It made James restless, but he understood the reasoning Remus had presented earlier that week. The Slytherins would be out for blood after what happened on the train. They needed to keep Sirius in line for the rest of the term, or McGonagall was going to crack down, and that was the last thing the heir to House Black needed at the moment.

It must be exhausting to be so angry at your family and their associates all the time.

"Nothing," Sirius said hastily, trying to snatch it back. But James was quick and stepped lithely out of his reach.

"Why don't you want me to see it?" James asked, grinning wickedly. He unfolded the parchment and examined it carefully.

It was an elaborate charcoal drawing of a street of London brownstones. The vantage point suggested the artist had been looking out a window from an upper floor, for some of the roofs were visible. The drawing was incredibly detailed - from the motor car in the street to the individual cobblestones on the road to the pigeon feathers gathered in the corner on one roof.

"Did you draw this?" James asked his friend. "It's quite good."

"No, it's not," Sirius grumbled. "It's just something I do to pass time when Mum puts us on house arrest."

"I think it's quite well done," James said again. "Pity it doesn't move."

"It does, if you tap it with your wand," Sirius said with a shrug.

"Really?" James pulled his wand out to test it and Remus looked over his shoulder with interest. The picture responded immediately to James' light tap - suddenly the car was moving and pigeons were diving in and out of the frame.

"This is cool magic!" Jame said. He already knew Sirius was a talented spellcaster, but he'd never seen something like this before. Usually his friend's magic was more physical - focused on pranks or jinxing Slytherin punks. This was a complex piece of work that must have taken hours to perfect. This was art. James wasn't sure he'd ever seen Sirius sit still for twenty minutes, let alone the time it must have taken to complete this drawing.

"You think?" Sirius wasn't going to say it in front of everyone in the dormitory, but James could tell he was pleased by the compliment. "I've got a few more."

A few more was a bit of an understatement. Suddenly Sirius was pulling out a sketchbook full of dozens of similar drawings. Most of them showed scenes of a London home - a drawing room with thick velvet curtains and a desk that appeared to rattle - a kitchen where a cheery fire burned and house elves moved from place to place - a staircase that seemed to go on to the heavens. Not all of the pictures moved, but they were all highly detailed and realistic.

"I can't believe I didn't know you could do this!" James exclaimed, flipping through with great interest.

"They're really lovely Sirius," Remus said sincerely. He was looking at a loose one that showed a small park surrounded by a combination of old London construction and budding new high-rises. The playground was empty, but the swings swung back and forth as if it were windy.

"'S nothing," Sirius insisted. "Uncle Alphard taught me to draw - I think he hoped it might keep me out of some trouble. I'm afraid I failed him on that end." He grinned. "They don't talk like portraits do, but I've gotten pretty good at getting everything to move."

An idea came to James. An idea that could allow them to have a bit of fun while keeping Sirius in check. "Can you only do it on parchment, or can you draw on other things as well?" James asked.

"Never thought to try, why?" Sirius asked. But before James could answer, he caught on. "Ohhh! That flat wall as you come out of the Great Hall?"

James nodded, pleased his friend was always so quick on the uptake. "It could do with some redecorating, don't you think?"

"The Gryffindor-Slytherin match is tomorrow, isn't it?" Sirius said lightly. "I have a concept in mind."

Sirius grinned, though Remus sighed and Peter looked nervous, as James pulled out the invisibility cloak.

"Let's get a move on then."

James and Sirius were up for hours while Sirius perfected his work and James stood guard. It was perfect. Revived by a chance to get into a little mischief, Sirius moved with concentrated speed, completely oblivious to the world around him as he practiced his craft. James couldn't believe he hadn't learned of this sooner - graffiti art was a popular pastime among muggle children, judging by the state of London's alleys and bridges. By the time they returned to the dormitory it was nearly 5 a.m. But every moment had been worth it.

James did his best to regulate his grin as the other students took in the entrance hall, which sported a massive Gryffindor lion with a snake between its teeth. The snake slithered and hissed silently, but the lion was clearly the victor as it strutted around the wall.

"Graffiti," Kingsley Shacklebolt was saying at the Gryffindor table when the first years sat down, but he looked fairly amused. "Filch is furious."

"That man doesn't appreciate good magic when he sees it," Gideon Prewett responded.

"Or artistic talent," Talia Jones, a Chaser on the Gryffindor Quidditch team, commented. "Graffiti or not, that's a lovely piece of work."

James kicked Sirius under the table as the boy puffed out his chest and started to open his mouth. They couldn't go bragging to Shacklebolt about rule-breaking at the moment.

"I wonder who did it," Prewett said. "Clearly a Gryffindor."

"Dawson likes to doodle in class…" Jones mused.

James could tell Sirius was bursting to take credit for his work, and he hastily piled potatoes on his friend's plate. "Don't you just love Sunday breakfast?" he said loudly.

His voice brought Sirius back to his senses. "Oh yes, Sunday breakfast is just the best." he stifled a yawn. "Shame it's served so early though."

"It's served two hours later than breakfast during the week - how much of a lie-in do you need?" Remus teased, obviously aware of how late his friends had returned, which James expected of him by now.

"I love breakfast every day," Peter said, the joke going right over his head.

Gryffindor students of all ages stopped to admire the vandalism in their honor as they came to breakfast, and even Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff seemed to get a kick out of it. It was only Slytherin that had any problem with it.

"I can't believe they haven't called a house elf to clean up that abomination yet," James heard Narcissa complain loudly to Lucius Malfoy. "What good are they if we have to wait on that squib of a caretaker to handle these situations? It looks like charcoal - how hard could it be to clean?"

The complaints seemed to amuse Sirius, who was in a good mood for the first time in what seemed like an eternity. And the day was only looking up as the students headed down to the Quidditch pitch for the game.

James loved everything about Quidditch - the feeling of the wind whipping - whether he was seated in the high stands or on a broomstick, the roar of an excited crowd, the intensity of competition - it was all a happy rush to him.

"Just think Black," he told Sirius. "Next year it will be us out there."

"Don't you have to try out first though?" Peter asked.

"That's just a technicality Petey," James said. "Sirius and I are better flyers than half of this team. We'll blow everyone away at tryouts."

Sirius laughed and slapped him on the back. "Right you are, Potter. I can't wait."

Sirius hadn't laughed much over the last week, and James was glad to see his friend returning to normal. It seemed he'd finally been able to shake the shadow of his family problems and was back to his mischievous self.

Marlene McKinnon, who was sporting Gryffindor colors for the match, wiggled through the crowd and found a seat next to Remus. "Hello boys," she said with a smile. "I liked the redecorating you did in the Entrance Hall. One of you has quite the eye for design."

"I have no idea what you mean, Marlene," James said as Sirius winked.

"That was you?" Eliza Corsica, who was sitting behind them, leaned forward and asked. "How did you get it to move?"

Sirius stretched and leaned backwards to speak to her without shouted. "I'm afraid it's a family secret. Can't be giving it away to every girl who comes along - even one as pretty as you." He tugged on one of the tendrils of wavy hair framing her face flirtily.

Eliza giggled, then turned to Remus. "I'm surprised you didn't bring a book, Remus."

"I tried. James and Sirius locked me out of our room this morning so I couldn't grab my bag."

This was true. James, too wired to sleep, had decided to stay up straight through the day. That meant he was up early enough to hide Remus' bag and shove the boy out of the dorm without one of his precious books.

"It's important for a young man to engage with his peers," James said. "You'd hardly be socializing if you had a book right now."

"Why socialize when I could be reading?" Remus grumbled. Eliza gave him a sympathetic look.

"Lily brings books everywhere too. I'm surprised she'd not here right now with one."

"Where is Evans, anyway?" James asked, scanning the crowd for the trademark red hair. He didn't spot it, but he did see Lily's friend Mary sitting with a few other students from their year.

Eliza shrugged. "She's not much into Quidditch. I think she may have used the match as an excuse to hide out with that Slytherin friend of hers - you know - the one you're always picking on?"

"Snivellus!" James cried dramatically. "She's skipping something as beautiful as a Quidditch match for that slimy git?"

"Wait - are they talking about Severus Snape?" Marlene asked Peter.

"Yup."

"Ahh - oh James, that's just mean!" Marlene scolded.

"Hey, the nickname fits," Sirius said. "Should we go track them down and show them the error of their ways?"

James shook his head. "I'm not missing this match. Let them have their little rendezvous. That relationship will never last anyway." No, it simply couldn't last. Not if James showed Lily Evans what she was missing out on.

Really, what kind of witch or wizard skipped out on Quidditch?!

/

"Remus, help!" Peter begged his friend, who was sitting in the common room with a book. Their History of Magic essay was due the next morning and he was still four inches short. He was holding the parchment in both hands as he stood before the couch the other boy was on.

The other boy glanced at him from over the top of the pages. "I told the three of you to stop procrastinating yesterday, but why listen to Remus?" His eyes turned back to the page. Remus had been somewhat feisty ever since his success charming Professor McGonagall out of suspending Sirius. The new attitude suited him, and Peter knew despite the teasing he was still Remus.

"Surely you won't leave me to fail," Peter cried. "Please Remus - Sirius offered to help but last time I asked him for help he decided to change the whole thing to invisible ink!" Thankfully, Professor Flitwick had found that rather funny once Peter had reasoned out what Sirius had done and performed the spell to make everything readable.

Remus glanced up again. "Is he even done with his own essay?"

"He and James finished about an hour ago," Peter said, a bit resentful. No matter how hard he tried, he never quite reached their level. Granted, few people could - their two friends were exceptionally gifted - and Peter was constantly amazed with the magic the pulled off.

"Those two drive me crazy - always skirting by like that," Remus muttered. He sighed and pulled a bookmark from his bag. "Don't pick up their lazy habits," he told Peter.

"So you'll help me?"

"Of course I will," Remus said. "And no invisible ink, either."

"Thank you!" Remus always came through for Peter. As much as Peter looked up to James and Sirius for their showy personalities, it was Remus Peter always looked to when he truly needed help. James always tried to be helpful, but lacked the attention span to really be so, and Sirius liked his little jokes a little too much to really be of assistance.

Remus took the essay and began looking over it. After a few moments he looked up.

"Well you entirely forgot to mention the rebellions of 1202 and 1612," he told him. "They're earlier than most, but really set the framework for the later rebellions in the 18th century. Add those in and you should have enough length, then I'll go through and edit for clarity, okay?"

"Of course, thanks Remus!" Peter took the essay back and sat down at a nearby table to begin the work. Remus came over with his book to keep him company. The boys sat quietly as Peter's quill scratched away at the parchment, adding what details he could find.

Peter enjoyed working next to Remus - even though the other boy was cleverer than him, he never rubbed it in Peter's face like James or Sirius sometimes did, nor did he get boisterous and impatient waiting for Peter to finish up. He never let any of the others copy, but he was always there with a helpful hint or detail whenever needed. True, he may nag rather like Peter's mother when it came to schoolwork, but it was nice to have a friend that kept on top of him like that.

Thirty minutes later Peter handed the essay back over, and Remus pulled out a quill to begin his edits.

"What do you suppose Sirius and James are up to right now?" Peter asked Remus.

"Probably stealing school broomsticks from storage to take a quick joyride or something," Remus said without looking up.

"You think?!" Peter would have loved to tag along for that - purely as an observer of course. He hadn't much talent for flying.

Remus sighed and paused his work. "I certainly hope not. That Ravenclaw prefect Dorcas Meadowes caught them sneaking around the cupboard last week and docked points for loitering. She'd immediately know who did it if they actually took the brooms."

"They're so daring though - that wouldn't stop them," Peter commented.

"I know - no common sense those too." The words were harsh, but Remus was smiling. "I swear they think they can do anything. I wouldn't be surprised if James became the best Quidditch player in a century and Sirius moved to Romania to handle dragons."

Peter chuckled. "What do you want to do when you grow up, Remus?"

The other boy looked pensive. "I've never put much thought into it, to be honest." He sounded almost sad. "Maybe I'll get lucky and be able to travel the world researching magical creatures like my father."

"You don't need luck, you certainly have the brains for that!" Peter told him. "You have the brains for anything! You could work for the Ministry, I'll bet. Or maybe come here and be a professor, since you love books so much."

Remus shook his head. "I don't think that's in the cards for me, unfortunately."

"Why not?" Peter asked, not understanding. Remus excelled at every subject except Potions - and even then he passed well enough.

His friend just shrugged. "What about you Peter? What would you like to be?"

"Well - promise not to laugh?"

"Of course I won't laugh!" Remus said.

"I've always wanted to open a sweets shop," he admitted. "I know it's not the most adventurous sort of life, but I think it would be just lovely."

Remus smiled. "It does sound lovely," he agreed.

"Someday you James and Sirius will have to come visit and my mum and I will make you the most delicious toffee pudding you've ever eaten!" Peter said.

"I didn't know you could cook," Remus said, interested. "Do you do it often with your mother?"

Peter nodded. "Mostly desserts, but I can make a few meals," he told his friend proudly. "I don't get much chance here of course."

"I cook with my mother too," Remus said. "The muggle way of course - she can't use magic. I find cooking very relaxing."

"Maybe sometime over the holidays we can get together and cook a whole feast!" Peter said. "Then we can make James and Sirius do the dishes."

"Somehow I see that ending badly…" Remus said, chuckling. "But I Iike the thought. By the way - here's your essay. Good job - I only changed a few things around. You really worked hard on this didn't you?"

"Thanks!" Peter took back the parchment and shoved it into his bag without looking - he knew anything Remus changed was for the better. "I'm not the best at wand work, but I can scrape together an essay." He grinned.

Remus nodded. "Say Peter, this is off-topic, but have you turned up any information on your father?"

The grin slipped off Peter's face. "Not really anything about his life after school," he said sadly. "I asked McGonagall about him, but she wasn't teaching here when he was a student, and she told me I should be focusing on transfiguring my gerbil into a teacup."

Remus looked thoughtful. "What about Dumbledore? He has connections all over."

"I couldn't bother the headmaster!" Peter said, alarmed at the thought. "He's far too busy to be answering my questions."

"I'm sure you wouldn't be the first student to inquire about a parent," Remus said, but Peter knew he would let the subject drop.

The boys settled into a comfortable silence for a bit, watching the Common Room fire. Of course that peace was shattered when James and Sirius came tumbling through the portrait hole, laughing hysterically.

"What happened?" Peter asked, eager to be a part of the excitement.

"We finally got Tonks!" Sirius hooted. "In the library - we hit him with a jinx and it worked just like the book said it would - chicken feathers all over!"

"I hope that doesn't cause problems for him and Andromeda…"

"That was the best part!" James said. "He wasn't mad at all - when he realized he was covered in feathers - he began to wave his arms and cluck like a chicken."

"He did the chicken dance?" Remus asked.

"The chicken dance?" Sirius repeated curiously.

"It's a muggle thing," Remus said.

This led to a whole discussion on the merits of muggle music, and Sirius and James forcing Remus to teach them the dance, which they proceeded to perform for the entire Common Room.

Peter climbed into his bed that night tired and content. This was the way it should be. This was what normal felt like, right? No talk of murders and war. No crazy family drama. Just four normal friends having a normal night at school.

It felt good.


	26. Real Danger

It was nearing the end of April and Remus was watching with longing as Sirius and James ran in circles around the grounds in a curious game of tag. Peter followed well-behind, laughing as he chased after his faster friends. Remus would have loved to join in, but he could scarcely keep with the two athletic boys at his best and under a week before the full moon the thought was impossible.

So instead he'd positioned himself under a tree with a book. There was a bit of a breeze, but the tree branches hung down low and created a sort of shelter from the wind.

"Hi Remus," a female voice said. He looked up from his book and saw Lily Evans and Mary MacDonald.

"Hi." He smiled at them. It seemed no matter how much she clashed with James and Sirius, Lily kept coming around.

"Can we sit here? There are rocks under the other one and it's uncomfortable."

Remus nodded and the girls settled down. Lily was looking at James and Sirius with disdain.

"Left you out of their game, have they?" she asked.

"Oh no!" Remus rushed to their defense. "No - they asked if I wanted to play. But I prefer to read. Besides, I'm not sure I'd be able to keep up."

Mary giggled. "Those two are very fit. And have you seen them in flying lessons? They're brilliant."

Lily sniffed. "Any pureblood kid who's been flying for years would do well in those lessons. Alice is good too."

"Oh Lily, you're just sour because of their little rivalry with Snape," Mary countered. "They fly just as well as the Quidditch team. It's a shame first years weren't allowed to try out."

"James plans to try out next year," Remus said, trying to contribute to the conversation.

Mary's face lit up. "Oh I knew it! Hopefully he makes the team - some new blood would do us good - Gryffindor hasn't had much of a showing the last few years, from what I've heard."

"No?" Remus asked. He had only a casual interest in Quidditch, though James and Sirius were trying very, very hard to change that, dragging him to every match whether Gryffindor was playing or not."

She shook her head seriously. "We've only won once in the last 10 years, and we were trounced by Hufflepuff this year."

"I remember - James was furious," Remus said. "He said the Hufflepuffs have an uncommonly talented Beater."

"Ted Tonks!" Mary said enthusiastically. "Beaters aren't always thought of as particularly valuable players you know - but he's a beast. I wonder if he's interested in playing professionally - he's in his seventh year you know."

"I think he has other plans," Remus said, thinking of Andromeda. He was enjoying the conversation, but he was exhausting the topic of Quidditch, which he knew little about. Thankfully, Lily saved him.

"What is that you're reading?" She asked curiously. It was one of the set his parents had purchased him at the start of the year.

"It's part of a set," he told her. "British wizarding world's history from as far back as wizarding kind keeps records."

"Wow! That's fascinating!" She said. Remus could tell she was sincere by the way her eyes widened. He remembered she was muggleborn.

"If you'd like, I could lend you the first one. This is the third."

"Really? That would be lovely!" Her cheeks flushed with pleasure.

Mary scoffed but had a good-natured smile on her face. "Lily, you always have your nose in a book."

"Ahh, just like Remus then?" James and Sirius had abandoned their game and wandered over to the tree. "He's always reading something - you should see his end of the dormitory - I swear there are at least 60 books!" James said, ruffling his hair and grinning at Evans.

"Careful Evans," Sirius said. "My mum's always telling the girls if you strain your eyes too much you'll get wrinkles."

"Come off it, Black," James swatted him. "I like a girl who reads." He winked at Lily. She rolled her eyes but Mary giggled.

Peter came up to the group, huffing and puffing. "Aren't - you - coming - to - play - Remus?" he asked between deep breaths.

"No, I'm feeling a little under the weather," Remus said. "I'm sure it's nothing, but I want to nip it in the bud." It was a lie, but it was still a few days out and he didn't want to draw much attention to his deteriorating condition.

"Well why didn't you say so?" James asked. "We can just pop down to Hagrid's for a cup of tea instead of this." He turned to Lily and Mary and put on his most charming Potter smile. "Would you ladies care to join? I'm sure Hagrid would appreciate such lovely company."

Mary giggled again and this time Lily allowed for a small smile.

"I can't - I'm meeting Severus in 15 minutes," Lily said.

"Oh." Sirius wrinkled his nose in distaste. "That's unfortunate."

"I don't know what you see in that slimy Slytherin, Evans," James said, shaking his head. "I noticed you skipped the Gryffindor-Slytherin Quidditch match. I mean, who skips Quidditch?! I know you were raised by muggle parents, but you like football, don't you? So you're not averse to sports."

Lily started to open her mouth and Remus feared another argument was about to start, but before she said anything Mary spoke.

"I think it's nice to have friends in other houses," she said, tactfully changing the direction of the conversation. "Aren't you friendly with Marlene McKinnon in Hufflepuff James?"

"The McKinnons are great!" James said, distracted from the topic of Severus Snape. "Have you ever been able to wrangle an invite to one of their summer parties?"

Remus caught Lily's eye and gave a little shrug in apology. "I'll give you the book this evening in the common room?"

She smiled. "That would be great. Thank you, Remus."

The conversation with the girls fizzled out when Peter's stomach growled loudly and the boys headed down to Hagrid's.

"What were you doing inviting those birds to Hagrid's?" Sirius asked. "The last thing we need is incessant feminine chatter."

"I think Evans is interesting," James said. Then he realized how that sounded. He couldn't have his friends thinking he fancied Lily Evans (but boy, every time she challenged him he just grew more interested). "Plus, she's close with Snivellus. She may have information on our enemy. You suggested that a ways back."

"If she does, she's not about to give it up," Sirius said. "She doesn't seem the type. Besides, the friend of my enemy is my enemy. Just like the enemy of my enemy is my friend."

Remus sighed. Lily Evans was generally nice and well-liked in Gryffindor house. He hoped the animosity between James and Sirius and the Slytherins didn't ruin his chances for another friend.

/

Sirius was coping best he could with the strange new dynamic of pretending to cut his favorite cousin out of his life. He supposed he was rather lucky - as he was in Gryffindor, he didn't have to negotiate awkward run-ins in the Common Room or at the dinner table like Narcissa might. He had hoped he might be able to grab Andromeda at some point to work out a secret system of communication, but she always seemed to be flanked by a following of Slytherins and Hufflepuffs.

The young Black therefore seized an opportunity when it presented itself in the form of Ted Tonks leaving Hagrid's cabin at the precise moment the four Gryffindor boys were approaching it.

"Aha! Tonks!" Sirius rushed ahead of his friends to confront the older boy.

"Watch it, Black. I gave you a pass on that last hex because I reckoned you deserved a little justice, but if you try to jinx me right now I think you'll find yourself outmatched." Despite the tough words, Hufflepuff's star player looked relaxed and had an affable smile on his face.

"Don't be daft," Sirius said. "If I was going to attack you, I'd have my wand out, wouldn't I?" He grabbed the boy's hand and shoved a carefully folded piece of parchment in it. "I need you to give this to Dromeda for me."

"What is it?" Tonks asked curiously.

"What it is is for her eyes only," Sirius said strictly. "Do this for me, and I'll forgive you for stealing away my favorite cousin."

"Everything all right here?" James came upon them at that moment.

"I'll deliver your message," Tonks assured Sirius solemnly. The younger boy nodded with satisfaction and the elder trotted off in the direction of the castle.

"What was that about?" Remus asked, looking over his shoulder back at the retreating figure.

"Nothing for you to worry over," Sirius told his friends dismissively.

At that moment Hagrid opened his door to greet them. "There ye are! I was beginnin' to wonder if ye'd forgotten about tea."

"Hagrid, you underestimate me," James said dramatically. "I would never forget an occasion such as this."

"You don't happen to have any of those rock cakes, do you?" Peter asked hopefully as the other three shot him vaguely horrified looks.

"I'm sure I've got a few some're," Hagrid said, beginning to rifle through a cabinet. "Ahh, in the back." He procured a lumpy package that he placed in the middle of the table, which was already set up with a teapot.

"Is that this morning's Prophet?" Remus asked, pointing at the paper laying on the table. "Might I have a look? I didn't get a chance to read it this morning."

"Suit yerself," Hagrid said, settling in on his oversized chair. "I myself don't see why young boys would want t' read somethin' like that, what with all the nasty Death Eater activity goin' on."

Sirius' ears pricked. "Death Eater? What's a Death Eater?"

He'd asked it as an innocent question, but Hagrid's face turned bright red.

"I shouldn' a said that. I should not have said that…" the big man said, almost to himself. "Now don't you mind any 'a that rubbish."

"Remus - what's the lead story?" Sirius demanded.

"A muggle family was found murdered in their home. The muggle authorities were stumped because the bodies showed no marks, and the doors were locked from the inside. So wizards stepped in to investigate."

"Suggesting Muggle on wizard violence," Sirius said quickly, his mind churning. "Suggesting those crazy blood purists…" He turned to Hagrid. "Does the group have a name? Do they call themselves Death Eaters?"

Hagrid looked miserable. "Dumbledore's not goin' to be happy I let that spill to students.."

"Dumbledore's involved?" Sirius asked.

James sniffed. "Well of course Dumbledore's involved. He's Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot. I expect he's well-informed in much law enforcement activity."

"That's true," Remus said. "He's also Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards. The Headmaster is a very important wizard."

"Hagrid, tell me more about the Death Eaters," Sirius asked urgently. "Do you know who they are? Where they're based out of? What their goal is? How many cases they're involved in?" Sirius had many suspicions about the goings-on in the paper and at his own home, and he needed more information.

"Now, I'll not be talkin' to ye' lot about that kind'a thing!" The gamekeeper said, looking supremely uncomfortable. "That's no talk for wee lads like yourselves. Now, stop askin' questions and have some tea."

Peter, who was munching on one of Hagrid's rock cakes, despite the fact that it looked like it may have congealed into a cement-like texture, nodded. "Yes Sirius, sit down and have some tea. It's so very good."

"But Hagrid, my good man, surely you can't expect to let a piece of information like that slip and then refuse to offer any further explanation!" James exclaimed.

"And I am not a 'wee lad,'" Sirius protested.

"Yer still too young to be worryin' about things like that," Hagrid told them. "Now forget I said it."

"But Hagrid-" Sirius began again.

"I said drop it."

It was not like Hagrid to be so stern, so Sirius relented, grudgingly.

That is, until the boys headed back inside, and Sirius turned to Remus.

"Where's Dumbledore's office?" He asked.

"How should I know?" Remus asked, looking affronted. "And whatever for?"

"To ask him about Death Eaters, of course."

"Sirius?" A female voice cut through the conversation, and the boy turned to see his cousin Narcissa staring at him with a terrified look on her face. She strode forward and grabbed his wrist. "Where did you hear that phrase?" She hissed.

"Shove off, Cissy," he told her, snapping out of her grasp. He'd been startled but the sudden familiarity - Narcissa had scarcely spoken to him at school all year, and their last interaction on the train had been anything but pleasant.

"Since when have you concerned yourself with my affairs, anyway?" This, Sirius knew, wasn't entirely fair to his cousin. Prior to his sorting into Gryffindor, Narcissa had been generally tolerant of him despite the age difference between them, even making an effort to include him at parties. Her very presence had often deterred the unpleasant activities of the Lestrange brothers, Lucius Malfoy and Nolan Avery.

Narcissa, though she had a sharp tongue and could be nasty when provoked, could also be quite sweet. Sirius remembered how she used to play hide-and-seek with him, and sing to Regulus when he was a baby. But she'd been so horrendous for the last few months that Sirius simply wasn't inclined to trust her.

"You don't understand." Narcissa's voice was barely above a whisper. "You cannot go throwing that name around. You could really get hurt." There was an edge to her voice that Sirius was not used to hearing. It was fear. It was enough to make Sirius pause for an explanation.

"What are you talking about?" He asked her.

She glanced at his three friends. "Tell your friends to get lost."

"Oh no you don't, you Slytherin siren," James said, moving closer. "Anything you want to say to him you can say in front of us. He'll just tell us anyway."

The blonde glanced at Sirius and he shrugged. "He's right. Now tell me what you know, or I'll start screaming about these 'death eaters' from the top of the Astronomy Tower."

"I shouldn't even warn an insolent little child like you," she muttered.

"Well fine then," Sirius took a deep breath in and began to shout. "DEA-"

"Hush!" His cousin quickly covered his mouth with her hand. "As irritating as you are, I don't want to see you dead." She looked at the other three boys. "Well get in close, you brats, I'm not going to broadcast this information for the world."

The four boys crowded in around the girl, who shifted as far from Peter and Remus as possible. Noticing this, Sirius purposely shoved her with his hip, causing her to stumble into Remus, who, gentleman he was, gently steadied her. She looked like she wanted to shove him away, but she gave a curt nod instead.

"The Death Eaters fancy themselves champions of the pureblood cause," she whispered, leaning her head into their little circle. "But Father says what they really are is nothing more than a hateful gang of thugs. They have no mind for politics - instead they follow the rule of a powerful Dark wizard, and use violence to achieve their means."

"Why, Cissy, these sound just like your Slytherin friends," Sirius sneered. "What could you possibly have to be afraid of?" Outwardly, he was harsh. Inwardly, he was interested to learn that his uncle apparently did not agree with the position of his grandfather.

"My friends and I have proper pride," Narcissa told him. "That does not mean we're criminals or savages. The death eaters are killers, Sirius. Do you really think I would associate with such people by choice?"

Sirius snorted. "You hang out with Lestrange and Malfoy."

"Lucius may speak his mind about blood purity, but he is not violent! He's gentle and kind," She insisted.

James laughed. "To you, maybe."

She shot him and irritated look. "Lucius would never kill like a Death Eater." Her pretty face then crumbled into a troubled look. "I don't like him hanging around Rodolphus. He scares me."

This admission came as a surprise to Sirius. "But you're to be maid of honor at the wedding."

She glared at him. "I will do my duty for my family," she said. "Something you wouldn't know anything about."

"Excuse me, but I'm still unclear what is so dangerous about the term 'death eater,'" James broke in.

"The Death Eaters don't want anyone to know who they are. Or what they are. If they hear you talking about them, it will mean trouble for you, or for your parents. Or even Reggie," Narcissa told Sirius.

"How are these 'death eaters' going to hear me? Are they listening in on schoolyard gossip?" Sirius quipped. He was sure his cousin was just trying to mess with him. She never showed interest in him before - surely this was just a ploy to get him worked up and make a fool of him.

She bit her lip, then sighed. "I'm only telling you this because you're family, whatever your faults. There are children of Death Eaters here at Hogwarts. You must be careful. I swear to you, I'm only trying to look out for you. Bella told me not to say the name, at all costs."

"Bella is involved in this? Of course she is. That sadistic bitch always did love the suffering of others..." Sirius' mind was reeling, trying to process all he was being told. Of course, what he'd overheard his grandparents discussing about Bella's involvement made sense - she had no patience for politics, but she was fond of using force to get her way. Sirius wondered exactly how much Narcissa knew.

Narcissa's hand came out swiftly, smacking him across the cheek. "That is my sister you're talking about."

"Oww!" Sirius rubbed his cheek. "Funny, you didn't get nearly so worked up when your precious Lucius insulted Dromeda."

"Andromeda is dead to me," Narcissa snapped. "She left this family. Don't try to romanticise it. Reality is, she turned tail and ran away because she didn't think her family was worth making sacrifices for."

"But sweet Bella, who is off making friends with murders and thugs, is worth defending?" Sirius asked in disbelief.

"Bella is doing what she thinks is right for the family in making a pureblood match. I appreciate the sentiment." She paused. "Whether or not I agree with the choice of partner."

It was that final bit that gave Sirius reason to believe the rubbish his cousin was spouting. Narcissa, haughty and proud as she was, had always tried to do what she believed was right for the family - that much Sirius was willing to admit. Even now, when there was no benefit to herself, she was trying to warn him of a danger - even deigning to do so in front of his friends, which he knew she was loathe to do. And unlike her sister, she wasn't the type to use force to get what she wanted - manipulation, sure, but not force - and he couldn't possibly imagine his high-maintenance cousin with blood on her robes.

"Listen to me, little Gryffindors. If you know what's good for you, you will not use that term. Even if no one directly associated with the cause hears you, what do you think your pals like Gideon Prewett would think if he heard you throwing that around?"

"What would he think?" Peter asked. Sirius shook his head. Poor Petey, always so thick.

"They'd think that Sirius heard the term thrown around at home," James answered him. "They'd think Sirius was privy to the details of the movement, because of who his parents are. They'd think Sirius wanted to be one of them." Sirius was relieved James spelled it out in such straight-forward terms.

"Well, it seems there is a brain in that big Gryffindor head of yours," Narcissa said to James. "Now that I've warned you, leave me. I don't want Lucius seeing me with you."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "What is it you're more worried about Cissy, family or keeping up appearances?"

"When are you going to learn that part of being a Black is keeping up appearances?" She shot back. She brushed her hair back behind her shoulders. "I've done my best to look out for you. Don't be ungrateful."

"Yeah, sure," Sirius said. He wouldn't go as far as to say thank you, but Narcissa seemed to take his lack of a hostile response the way it was intended, because she nodded and strode away from the boys.

"It's an impossible position isn't it?" Remus said quietly to Sirius as the boys headed back to the Gryffindor common room.

"How do you mean?" Sirius asked. Peter and James had pulled ahead and weren't paying attention to the conversation.

"To toe the line between making the family happy and making your own path," Remus said.

Sirius snorted. "I'm not too concerned with my mother's happiness."

"I wasn't talking about you," Remus said in his soft voice. "I was talking about Narcissa."

"There's nothing impossible about it," Sirius shot back. "There's right and there's wrong. And Cissy is choosing crazy Bella and her supremacist nonsense over Andromeda and real family values like love." It was the first time Sirius had admitted to himself that he agreed with Andromeda's reasons for leaving, but now that he'd said it out loud, he'd convinced himself completely that she was in the right.

"Do you really believe everything is so black and white?" Remus asked. "Narcissa did just show genuine concern for you. Enough to stand inches from a halfblood, which goes against everything she's been raised to believe, and offer an explanation that might protect you from something."

Remus was always so forgiving of other people's faults, always looking for the good in a person, and always trying to sympathize. But Sirius didn't want to hear it.

"It shouldn't matter that you're a halfblood," Sirius argued. "She's plenty old enough to think for herself, and see that blood status and a Hogwarts house shouldn't define the quality of a person. But when I was sorted into Gryffindor, Cissy decided to choose Lucius Malfoy over me. Every day, she chooses her mates by virtue of their pedigree, instead of the quality of their character. That's wrong."

"I'm not saying she's right, I'm just saying maybe you should try to see things through her perspective. It might help you mend your relationship."

"Thanks Lupin, but if I wanted your advice on my relationships, I'd ask," Sirius said, a bit sharply. "Were you not listening to what she told us before? She as good as confirmed that Bella is hanging around these 'death eater' types. What makes you think I want to maintain any semblance of a relationship with people like that?"

"If you have a relationship, you have a chance to change their minds," Remus insisted. "If you always turn your back on people you don't agree with, they'll never listen to your side of things."

Sirius usually took great stock in Remus' opinion, but he simply couldn't comprehend why the boy was counseling patience and understanding toward people who would hex him and his muggle mother into next year if given the chance.

"There's no changing Bella's mind, and Narcissa will follow wherever her sister directs her," Sirius told him. "I'm sorry Lupin, but clearly you don't understand prejudice. It's not your fault - clearly your father is an open-minded type if he fell in love with a pretty muggle. But you can't just change people's minds sometimes. It's a waste of time to try."

Remus looked hurt. "I understand prejudice better than you think."

Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but suddenly Lupin, who was generally the one to make up the rear-guard, turned away and took the stairs two at a time, clearly trying to escape Sirius' company.

The dark-haired boy let out a frustrated sigh. Remus just didn't understand what it was like to be the only rational Black in a sea of blood purist maniacs. Remus just didn't understand what it was like to be looked down on. Sirius knew his friend was just trying to help, but how could he possibly relate to the situation at all?

/

Yet again, being friends with Sirius Black was making Peter Pettigrew's life miserable. He had thought he'd finally escaped talk of murder and blood supremacists, but it all came crashing back down upon him, thanks to Sirius' insatiable curiosity and scary family.

Peter knew these were unkind thoughts, but he couldn't help but think life would be much easier if he wasn't constantly being dragged into Sirius Black's drama. James always managed to shrug it off, but even Remus looked put out when they returned to the common room, speaking little and slipping off to the library, leaving the other three slightly confused.

"What's with Lupin?" James asked, looking to Sirius for an answer.

The bigger boy shrugged. "We had a minor disagreement."

But when Remus still hadn't returned by dinnertime, Peter started to fret.

"You didn't say something unkind to him, did you Sirius?" Peter asked. He knew it wasn't particularly smart to make accusations like that against his hot-tempered friend, but the words had already slipped out before he realized what he was saying.

"Lupin isn't some little ponce who can't take a stern word now and again, unlike someone else I know," Sirius said viciously.

Peter felt his shoulders hunching. There it was again - Sirius and his mean-streak.

"Merlin, Black, no need to draw blood," James said. "He was only asking a question." Peter shot James a grateful look for coming to his defense. "Did you say anything to Lupin?"

Sirius glared at his best friend. "Why do you assume that Lupin is missing because of something I said? He disappears all the time as it is - this is probably another one of those incidents."

James raised one eyebrow. "While that's true, usually you express a bit of concern when that's the case, instead of jumping down a bloke's throat for asking a fair question. Seems to me your charming demeanor just now suggests a guilty conscience."

Peter always admired James for the way he was able to hit the crux of the situation. He beamed up at the other boy. "I was only asking because you said you and Remus had an argument," he said, confident James was on his side.

"It wasn't an argument, it was a difference of opinion."

"Call it a bureau or a dresser - it's still the same thing," James said airily. "Are you going to tell us what it was about?"

Sirius, who had been lounging on one of the Common Room's many couches, hopped up and shoved his hands in his pockets. "I don't appreciate you insinuating that I ran Lupin off. What if he was the one who said something insensitive to me? Berks."

Before James or Peter could say anything further, Sirius stomped off toward the dorm.

"Oh, bugger. I'll go try to talk some sense into that head of his," James said. "Petey, would you mind skipping over to the library and checking on Remus?"

Peter nodded - he was not at all eager to be in a room with a moody Sirius Black. He immediately took off through the portrait hole, hoping he could find Remus in time to make it to the Great Hall for a spot of dinner.

It being suppertime on a Sunday, the corridors were mostly abandoned. Peter could hear his footfalls echo against the flagstone. He thought nothing of it until he realized the echo was out of sync with his own footsteps.

He turned to glance over his shoulder, but as he did an artificial gust of wind blew threw the hallway, blowing out the torches and plunging the area into darkness. There were few windows in this area, and it was difficult to see.

"Wh-who's there?" His voice squeaked, and he felt himself trembling. Clearly, there was someone in the corridor with him. Someone who didn't want to be seen.

Peter knew he was a Gryffindor, and he should strive to be brave. But this didn't seem like the appropriate moment for that. So he took off running down the hall.

The pudgy boy wasn't accustomed to running. After less than a minute, his breath became ragged and he felt his armpits beginning to sweat. But the peculiar wind was either following him or had extinguished every torch on the floor, for he continued to see nothing but foreboding darkness. He could tell he was being pursued, and he began to panic. He didn't know any powerful hexes or jinxes, nor did he know who his pursuer was or what they wanted. He could try to light up the hallway with Lumos, but that would give away his position. Abruptly, he turned to the side and groped around. Luck was with him - there was a suit of armor where he stopped. He slipped behind it.

Footfalls continued behind him - moving far slower and calmer than Peter had been. Then, a wand light.

"You do realize there is no knight there to save you in that dirty old suit of armor," drawled the voice of Rodolphus Lestrange. He was holding his wand just under his chin, creating ominous shadows across his face. He had a wicked smile on his face and Peter reflexively tried to make himself smaller against the wall, even though he was clearly spotted.

"W-what do you want?" Peter squeaked. He hadn't forgotten what Rodolphus Lestrange had done to that pixie.

"I have a message for little Black," Lestrange said. "I haven't had a chance to deliver it to him, what with our conversation on the Hogwarts Express being cut short earlier this month."

"What's the message?" Peter asked.

Lestrange grinned, and Peter tried to make a run for it as the older boy raised his wand. But it was no use. Peter heard some kind of incantation, then everything went black.

/

James Potter sat in an armchair in the Common Room, fidgeting nervously and staring at the portrait hole. He'd been unable to talk any sense into an obstinate Sirius Black, and Peter had yet to return from fetching Remus. It was not like Peter to miss dinner, and James was growing concerned.

Finally, the portrait hole swung open and Remus Lupin appeared.

"About time! Have you been brewing polyjuice potion or something? You've been gone for hours!" Suddenly, James realized Peter had not followed behind Remus. "Where's Petey?"

"What are you talking about?" Remus looked confused. "I was at the library studying. Peter wasn't with me."

James felt a small twinge of alarm. "You mean he never came to collect you?"

"I didn't see him. Why?" Remus, perceptive as he was, had picked up in James' agitation.

"I sent him to go find you around dinnertime." James looked up at the clock. It was now 9 p.m. "Were you in the library the whole time? It was supposed to be his first stop."

"I was there the whole time," Remus said. "He never made it."

James sprung up from his chair and whipped his wand out of his pocket, heading for the portrait hole. Remus didn't need to be told to follow.

"You woke me from my nap for nothing?" The Fat Lady complained when she saw Remus crawling back out.

"Listen, beautiful," James said, knowing flattery was always the way to get what he wanted from the painting. "Remus and I have some business that can't wait. Will you be a doll and keep your eyes out for our return? It may be a bit past curfew."

The Fat Lady clucked her tongue, but smiled. "I suppose I can do that for you," she said coyly.

"Thanks love," James said with a smile. Then he and Remus took off at a run in the direction of the library.

There were, of course, multiple routes to get there, but Peter, with his poor memory, only ever took one or two. As Remus hadn't run into him coming back, that eliminated one option, so the boys focused on checking the second.

"Why are all the torches out in this hallway?" Remus asked James quietly as the two boys crept down a seemingly deserted corridor.

"I don't know." James could easily relight the torches himself, but Peter, who still struggled with the charm to create fire, would have struggled. "Would Peter have come this way in the dark?" James lit a nearby torch to see better.

"He must have," Remus said, sounding upset. "That's his wand." He bent over and picked up the thin piece of wood, rolling it through his fingers. He turned to James, worry and guilt written on his face.

"Slytherins," James hissed. "It must have been the Slytherins."

"We should check the hospital wing," Remus said. "If he left his wand, they must have gotten the drop on him."

Slow applause suddenly echoed through the corridor. "Right you are, Gryffindor trash."

The two boys whipped around to see Rabastan Lestrange step out from behind a suit of armor.

"It took you long enough to get here. We got to Pettigrew over an hour ago," he said, a churlish smile on his face. "He's not in the hospital wing, though."

James raised his wand against the older boy, stepping in front of Remus. "Tell me what you did to him, you Slytherin scum."

Rabastan just laughed. "Put that down before you hurt yourself," he told him. "We haven't done much to him - yet. Hostages are no good dead, as my brother always says."

Hostage? James swallowed, and he felt Remus tense up next to him. For all his rancor against the Slytherins, he'd never expected them to go so far as to actually kidnap someone. In fact, what kind of school was it that someone could be kidnapped by a mad group of teenagers? He had half a mind to write home about it.

"Tell me where he is," James growled, taking a step forward.

"I'll do just that, on one condition."

"Why you-" James took another step forward, but the Slytherin whipped out his wand.

"Careful, firstie. Wouldn't want to see you get hurt," he sneered. "Besides, I doubt it's a condition you'll be particularly opposed to."

James wasn't inclined to cave to any conditions put forth at that moment, but cooler heads prevailed. Remus grabbed him by the shoulder.

"What's your condition?" Remus asked, his voice steely.

"Come back with Black. I wouldn't want him to miss the party."

Of course. It was a trap for Sirius. One that they'd have to play right into, if they wanted to save Peter. James grinded his teeth. They would have to take the risk.

"Fine." He raised his wand, then lowered it in a dramatic arc.

"Lumos Maxima!" He shouted. Then he grabbed Remus by the elbow and ran.

"Why did you do that?" Remus asked as the two boys hurried back toward Gryffindor Tower.

"To blind him so he wouldn't hex us when we turned our backs, of course," James said. "Never trust a Slytherin."

The pair made it back to the Tower in record time and James burst into the dormitory, kicking through a card tower Sirius has created from his Exploding Snap set.

"What the hell, Potter?" Sirius, who had been sitting cross-legged on the floor, jumped up looking thoroughly disgruntled. But James had no time for his whining.

"The Slytherins got Petey," he said. "Grab your wand. We're going to battle."

"WHAT?!" Sirius' shout reverberated through the room. "Is he badly hurt? What did the matron say?" James was pleased to see Sirius all but forgot about their little spat when he learned his friend was in danger.

"No, Sirius, the Slytherins got Peter. As in, they grabbed him. As in, they still have him."

"A hostage situation," Remus added, shaking his head.

"Why those dirty, dastardly…" Sirius proceeded to go off on a tirade of colorful language as he threw items around hastily in search of his wand. When he found it, he lifted it in triumph.

"It's only fair to warn you that they're asking for you specifically," James said, trying to calm himself enough to come up with a strategy.

"Well, they'll get me then," Sirius said. "And they'll live to regret it." He brandished his wand and sparks flew out.

"Sirius," Remus said in his quiet and collected voice. "You must not fly off the handle at a time like this."

"Aww, Lupin, you aren't about to suggest we report this to a teacher, are you?" James asked. "There's no time for that. We have to go save Peter now!"

"Of course not," Remus said, and when James looked his friend in the eye he realized there was a spark there - the same spark Remus got when he was solving a complex problem in Transfiguration, or finishing a difficult practical in Charms. Remus had an idea. Oh, how James loved Remus and his ideas. "I have a plan. Grab the invisibility cloak - we're going to need it."

And so the three boys, united in their rescue mission, slipped out of the dormitory to face off with their enemies.


	27. A Question of Loyalty

A/N: Apologies for the delay in posting this update- life has gotten very busy. Know that I will continue this story through the boys' years at school, though sometimes the updates will be sporadic. And thank you to everyone who continues to review, favorite, and follow. It is greatly appreciated and inspirational.

* * *

Sirius was hopping mad. How dare - how DARE those Slytherin pudding-heads take advantage of Peter?! He also felt guilty - he had run Lupin off earlier in the day, then snapped at Peter when he questioned it. Peter never would have been wandering abandoned corridors alone if it hadn't been for his own actions. And Peter certainly never would have been a specific target for Lestrange if not for his association with Sirius.

The boy thought back to his interaction with Narcissa earlier in the day, remembering how she had been so quick to defend her pureblood posse. He growled.

"Hush, Black, do you want to get caught before we even get back to the corridor?" James chastised. "Remember the plan."

"The plan doesn't require me to be quiet," Sirius grumbled back. It was true - the plan only required Remus, who was hidden under the invisibility cloak, to remain undetected. Sirius' presence was demanded, and James was expected, but Remus was historically non-confrontational and it therefore made sense that he would be the one to appear absent.

Sirius hoped his skinny friend found it in him to shoot off a hex or two when they got to Peter - they were walking into the viper's nest. Sirius wasn't particularly afraid of most of Lestrange's crew - Mulciber, Evan and Avery weren't nearly as clever as he or James, and Snape appeared to be a tag-along and though he could get creative, he tended to hesitate before throwing a jinx. But Rodolphus was undoubtedly a real threat, and Rabastan, while rather stupid, packed a lot of firepower. If Malfoy was also with them, there was no chance of he and James succeeding in armed combat.

He could only hope that Remus, their hidden weapon, would be able to use the element of surprise to tip the scales in their favor.

Sirius wanted to apologize to Lupin for whatever it was he said that upset him earlier, but it wouldn't do to blow his cover by speaking to him now. Slytherins may be watching.

The boys reached the darkened corridor James had warned him about, and Sirius called out.

"All right, Lestrange, I took the bait. Tell me where Petey is."

Rabastan stepped out of the shadows and smirked. Sirius resisted the urge to rip his smug little face off. "Follow me," the older boy said.

Shoulder to shoulder with James, Sirius followed. Rabastan led them to an unused classroom on the third floor, far from any staff member's office and therefore out of range for an adult rescue.

Rabastan pushed the door open and waited, indicating that the Gryffindors should enter. Shooting a furtive glance at James, Sirius stepped inside.

"Here he is - my soon-to-be cousin!" Rodolphus cooed unpleasantly as Sirius entered.

"I'm here, Rolph. Where's Peter?"

The sixth-year grinned and flicked his wand. A sheet flew off what Sirius had assumed was an unused desk, revealing poor Peter, gagged and bound to a stiff wooden chair.

James hissed next to him. "Are you okay, Petey?" He asked. Peter kicked his feet back and forth - the only movement he could accomplish with his ankles and wrists tied.

"He's fine," Rodolphus answered. "We only had a little fun."

Sirius examined his friend carefully. Peter's beady eyes were wide with fright, though he was not struggling or trying to speak.

"Let him go," James demanded, stepping forward and pointing his wand at Lestrange. Sirius took stock of the rest of the room. As expected, Mulciber, Evan and Avery were all there. There was no sign of Snape, however, and Lucius Malfoy's pale locks were nowhere to be seen.

Sirius knew he had to act fast.

"Locomotor Wibbly!" He aimed for Rodolphus' legs at the same moment James shot a stinging hex at the older boy's eye. Their target cursed loudly and Sirius knew he was distracted, if only for a second.

To his right he heard a quiet incantation of "Expelliarmus!" but the Slytherins must not have heard, because Avery and Evan both gasped in shock when their wands went flying out of their hands.

"Colloshoo!" Sirius shouted, turning his wand on Evan. If he couldn't move from the spot, he couldn't recover his wand. He opened his mouth to repeat the spell for Avery but was forced to duck when Rabastan shot some kind of curse his way. It missed his body, but hit the edge of his robes, singeing them.

Sirius rolled under a chair. "Everte Statum!" he shouted, hoping he pronounced the incantation properly. He grinned when Rabastan went flying backwards into a desk.

James was dueling with Mulciber and seemed to have the upper hand. Sirius turned back to the elder Lestrange, who's left eye was red and swollen.

"Stupefy!" The teen yelled, but Sirius dodged. Then a stroke of luck - the stunner hit Avery, who went down hard. Evan, still unable to move his feet from the spot Sirius stuck him, was whimpering as he tried to stretch his arm far enough to reach his wand. Rolph seemed unconcerned that his ally had fallen, and began to circle Sirius like a cat would a mouse.

Sirius was proud, but not stupid. He knew he was no match for his cousin's fiance in one-on-one combat. But he had to buy Remus another second or two - he could see the ropes around Peter's legs had been severed, which meant his invisible friend must be almost done with the recovery part of the mission.

"What message were you trying to deliver here, anyway Rolph?" Sirius asked, puffing out his chest and trying to appear unafraid. "Seems to me we're the ones racking up points here." As if to illustrate his point, James landed a spell on Mulciber, who yelped and dropped his wand as he fell to his knees. James rushed over to cover his friend, putting his back up against the other.

"It seems you really do belong in Gryffindor. Conceited and foolhardy," Rolph said. "I don't need any of these idiots to take you and your friend out. I just brought them along for the experience."

Rodolphus was staring at Sirius and James, which was how he missed it when Peter stood and suddenly seemed to disappear

"Ahh, yes, the experience, of course," James said in a lazy voice. "It is good for a young man to experience failure and defeat now and again. Builds character, my father says."

James was putting on a show for the Slytherin's benefit, but Sirius could tell he was nervous - he was tapping his foot rapidly and his eyes were shooting between Rodolphus and his fallen brother anxiously.

Rolph laughed. "You don't have any cousins coming to your rescue this time," he said. "And there's something I've been wanting to try out on a human target."

He raised his wand and said something Sirius didn't recognize and a purple jet of light sliced through the air. Instinctively, Sirius turned and shoved James out of the way. Then the spell him in the back.

/

Remus had just escaped the room with Peter when he heard an anguished scream from within.

"That sounded like Sirius!" He immediately turned back, but was stopped by Peter, who grabbed his arms.

"We have to get help!" The boy said tearfully. "He's a sixth-year - he knows things we don't."

Peter wasn't simply being a coward - he was right, and Remus knew it. But he couldn't bear to leave his friends behind. "You go - grab a teacher or a prefect or another upper year - whoever you run into first." Inarticulate yelling was coming from the classroom. He shoved the invisibility cloak into Peter's arms - it wouldn't do for it to get damaged or stolen in the chaos. "Take the cloak - go now!"

The mouse-like boy didn't need to be told twice - he took off full speed. Remus took a deep breath to steady himself, then rushed back though the heavy door. He looked around quicky - Sirius was on the ground, and James was standing over him protectively, his wand leveled at their most dangerous enemy. Without hesitation, which he knew could be their undoing, Remus pointed his wand at Rodolphus Lestrange and repeated his disarming spell. "Expelliarmus!"

Miraculously, it worked. The wand went flying.

"Lupin! Help me get him out of here!" James hollered. He had seized Sirius, his arm looped under the other boy's armpit.

Remus' heart dropped. What had Lestrange done to Sirius that could not be undone with a wand? He rushed forward, grabbing Sirius's other arm. His panic abated slightly when he realized the other boy was conscious, though his face was contorted as if he was in horrible pain.

Summoning his strength despite the weakness brought on by the coming full moon, Remus helped James drag their injured comrade out of the room and down the hall.

"What did he hit him with?" Remus asked James.

"I've no idea," James said.

"Lupin." Sirius was trying to speak, despite his pain. "Lupin, I'm sorry."

"Hush now," Remus said, knowing full-well the effort that speech took when one's body was damaged. "Save your strength - there are stairs ahead."

"Where's Petey?" Sirius asked, ignoring Remus' well-meaning advice. "He hurt?"

"If he is, it's not badly. He took off running for help fast enough," Remus said.

"Hopefully he's returning with some muscle," James commented. "I'm not sure how we're going to make the stairs. Say, Lupin, thanks for coming back. I wasn't quite sure how we were going to get out of that." To Remus, it seemed only natural that he would come back, so he didn't acknowledge the thanks with anything more than a shrug.

"We weren't," Sirius said bitterly.

"I don't think we're being followed," James continued as if he hadn't heard.

"What hurts?" Remus asked Sirius.

"M'back," Sirius hissed. "Low, then down my leg."

"One leg or two?" Remus asked, though he had no idea how to diagnose the problem.

Before Sirius answered, they heard the rush of feet and in a swirl of robes Peter and Gideon Prewett came hurtling down the stairs. Remus had never been more relieved to see the seventh-year - he was head of the dueling club, stocky and strong to help them get Sirius to the hospital wing, and also unlikely to report anything to the staff. Perhaps they would escape the night without punishment.

Come to think of it, why hadn't they gone for help from Prewett from the beginning? Remus shook his head to himself. Apparently the Gryffindor in all of them was showing. Next time, he would think more logically.

"You're alive!" Peter cried dramatically, stopping short of hugging them but still squirming anxiously. "I was so worried."

Remus smiled in spite of himself. Little Peter, already fretting after them after his own ordeal. "Of course we're alive. What did you think was going to happen."

"Actually, I'm feeling pretty lucky to be alive, myself," James said conversationally, hoisting Sirius up as his friend began to slip down his shoulder.

Gideon had his wand out and was scanning the corridor. When he was satisfied there were no immediate threats, he lit up the torches and turned to address them. "Pettigrew said you were attacked by Lestrange and his crownies."

"Lovely boys, they are," James said sarcastically. "They didn't follow when we made a run for it - no doubt they're already slithering back to their Common Room to try to hide away from all this."

"You firsties shouldn't be antagonizing someone like Lestrange. He's dangerous. You should keep clear. Why Dumbledore allows someone like that to stay in school..."

Remus wondered involuntarily what Prewett would think if he knew Dumbledore let a werewolf stay at school.

"My very existence antagonizes him," Sirius told him. Remus could see a sheen of sweat on his friend's brow and knew he was fighting for control through the pain. "And I can't very well avoid him forever - he's engaged to my cousin."

"Your cousin has poor taste," Prewett said. Remus thought he was being rather short with them, but didn't dare speak out. The redhead looked Sirius up and down, and his facial expression softened into one of concern and sympathy. "Do you know what he hit you with?"

"No," Sirius said, "but my left leg feels like it's on fire!"

Sirius let out an indignant yelp as Gideon lifted his robe to check his leg.

"Well, there's nothing visible on the surface. We better get you to Pomfrey - I'm afraid even if we could figure out what he hit you with I'm not much for healing spells - I always left that to my sister."

Gideon gestured for Remus to move so he could take hold of the patient himself. With the bigger boy's help, the group managed down the stairs to the first floor with little trouble.

"What in the world? It's after curfew! What happened that has a whole group of you out like this?" Madam Pomfrey exclaimed when they swung the door open.

"Bullying," Prewett said. "It seems a few older students thought it would be funny to pick on a few firsties"

"Hmpht." The matron clucked her tongue. She surveyed the group with keen eyes that fell on Sirius. "I see I have one patient. Are any of the rest of you hurt?" Her eyes lingered on Remus, but he quickly shook his head. "Well don't just stand there - get Mr. Black in a bed!"

The boys scrambled to obey. The witch began waving her wand with what Remus knew were her usual diagnostic spells and asking Sirius questions. Remus was glad his friend was in such capable hands.

"Where does it hurt?"

"My lower back down my left leg," Sirius said. He had a petulant look on his face and Remus knew his friend's pride was suffering greatly.

"Is it dull? Sharp? Intermittent? Steady?"

Sirius shot a look at his friends that clearly meant he'd rather they disappear. The matron caught it.

"Away from the bed while I work on my patient!" She told them.

"But-" James began to protest.

"You may wait on the other side of the wing, but my patient has a right to privacy."

"Let's go boys," Gideon said, gathering up the three first years in his long arms and shepherding them away. "The matron has the matter well in hand."

Gideon stopped them just far enough that it appeared they were out of earshot, but when Remus strained, he could make out Sirius' end of the conversation - his friend wasn't even trying to be quiet.

"Constant and searing," Sirius finally admitted. Remus knew he wouldn't have been able to hold out for long - his face was pale.

The matron asked a question, and Remus saw Sirius try to sit up and winch before lying back down.

"Hurts worse sitting than standing," the boy said.

A few moments passed and then the matron spoke clearly enough for Remus to make out.

"Well dear, best as I can tell, you're suffering sciatica pain," the matron said.

"Psy-what?"

"Sciatica," Pomfrey said. "It's the largest nerve in the body. It starts in the lower back and moves down the leg. It's not uncommon for pregnant women to suffer, and not uncommon by the time people reach middle age - but very unusual in healthy young boys. I would guess the spell used must target nerves - where a schoolboy would learn such a nasty thing I can't imagine. I can fix it, but it's a fair bit trickier than a simple laceration or fracture. You'll have to stay overnight."

"What?!" James cried out, blowing their cover. Pomfrey shot him a nasty glare.

"That's it - out!" She ordered them, pointing to the double doors. "I'll not have nosey, naughty boys eavesdropping while I work. If you're stopped along the way, tell them I gave you permission to leave the wing past curfew. But don't dawdle."

Gideon shook his head and again urged the boys forward. "Let's go."

"But-" James again began to level a protest, but Gideon put a finger to his lips.

"I have questions for you three," he said. "I believe you owe me that much."

James looked at the older boy murderously, then glanced back at Sirius' bed. "What if they come here for him?"

"They'd have to get through Pomfrey first, and trust me, she's scarier than she looks," Gideon told them. "Now let's go."

A wave of exhaustion suddenly hit Remus, and he knew Gideon was right. They needed to get back. His body couldn't take much more exertion, and the matron didn't need another charge to worry over.

"Let's go James," Remus said wearily. "The matron will take good care of Sirius."

"How do you know that?" James asked. For a second, Remus thought he had unwittingly outted himself, but when James kept talking he knew the question had been rhetorical. "We don't even know what kind of dark magic Lestrange used. Pomfrey is a school healer - what if she's not qualified to handle those kinds of curses?"

"Madam Pomfrey is one of the best healers in the country, and greatly sought after for advice. She's a school healer by choice, not for lack of qualification," Prewett told them. Remus, of course, had known this, but could not have said without his friends wondering where the information had come from. So he did not add anything additional, though he knew the matron was more than capable of handling even the worst kind of cursed bites.

Remus could scarcely recall the journey back to the Common Room - Gideon had asked questions and James had given grudging half-answers, but the full moon was creeping closer and running around on a wild rescue mission wasn't good to his health. He somehow made it into the dormitory, then passed out on his bed without even taking off his shoes.

/

James was so angry he couldn't even think. "What kind of place is this that guys like Lestrange can literally kidnap a student from under the teacher's noses?" He said to Gideon, who was lending a sympathetic ear back at the Common Room. "That Slytherin is a menace to good society! And what kind of sixth-year picks on a first-year like Petey? Petey's a good bloke - he doesn't cause trouble for other people. And to use a spell that affects the nervous system?! You know he said he'd been wanting to try it on a human - he didn't even know what it could do!"

"You should really consider reporting this to a teacher," Gideon told him.

James scoffed. "What are the teachers going to do? Set Rodolphus up with a few detentions? They won't expel him - his family has too much influence."

"Report it to the headmaster, then," the older boy prodded. "He should be aware of what's going on. He might not be able to remove Lestrange, but he would certainly keep a closer eye on him."

James paused in his tirade to consider this. McGonagall was not unaware that Lestrange posed a threat - he'd heard her suggest it when he and Sirius snuck into the staffroom. Perhaps it was worth going to her, or the headmaster. But that would mean admitting to their fool-hardy rescue mission. "What do you think, Petey?"

"I think we should stop hanging around Sirius. It's him Lestrange wanted."

James baulked. That wasn't what he'd been expecting Peter to say. Indeed, blaming Sirius for the whole debacle had never even crossed his mind. And he would not entertain it.

"No." He shook his head emphatically. "Unacceptable. Sirius is our friend."

"Well he's not a very good one!" Peter squeaked. "He's always leading us to trouble and he yelled at me earlier. And he's always teasing me."

James Potter stared at Peter Pettigrew in disbelief. "Really? A madman with a wand kidnaps you, we come rushing to your defense, and your response is to try to drop the guy who was most eager to save you?" James looked around for Remus to back him up, and realized the other boy was missing.

"I wouldn't have needed rescuing if it weren't for Sirius in the first place!" Someone other than James Potter may have acknowledged that Peter had a point, but James Potter would not hear a bad word against his friend Sirius Black at that moment.

"That's hardly his fault! Where the hell is Lupin - he'll talk reason into you!"

Gideon, who'd been watching the interaction, raised a hand to quiet them. He then put it on Peter's shoulder. "Listen, Peter. I know you had a scare tonight. And from the sounds of it, you and Black had some kind of argument earlier. But I've been watching you firsties all year, and you sure seem like friends most of the time. Are you sure you want to throw that away over Rodolphus Lestrange?"

James crossed his arms and stared at his little friend, tapping his foot impatiently. He never got angry with Peter for being a little less clever, a little less brave, or a little less anything than the rest of them before, but this was a question of loyalty, and James wouldn't have it.

Peter squirmed, visibly uncomfortable, as James stared him down. "I guess not."

"'Atta boy," Prewett ruffled his hair. "Now, look you two, I don't mind helping a few firsties out, charming snow boots and the like, but if you really have a problem with Rodolphus Lestrange, you need to consider reporting it to the headmaster - Lestrange is more than I'm equipped to handle." He grimaced, as though it cost him to admit that. Then he lowered his voice. "I know tonight may be a bad example, but trust me, Hogwarts is a lot safer than most parts of the country right now, and that's because of the headmaster. You should talk to Dumbledore."

James knew this was a valid point, but he hated the idea that he could not manage the situation. Then he thought of Sirius, for the second time forced to the hospital wing with painful injury due to Lestrange's little band of miscreants. He sighed in defeat.

"Fine. We'll go to Dumbledore tomorrow."

"Good boy," Gideon said approvingly. "Now, if you excuse me, there's a pretty little Ravenclaw girl that's probably ready to scratch my eyes out for missing our scheduled rendezvous. I have to go make my excuses." He winked at the younger two boys, then left out the portrait hole, despite the late hour.

"James?"

The boy jumped - he'd thought they'd been alone in the Common Room, but it was a girl's voice that spoke. It was Lily Evans. And she'd just called him by his first name.

He and Peter turned to her. She had a disturbed look on her face.

"Did something happen with Rodolphus Lestrange tonight?" She asked.

"Why?" James asked another question in response. "What are you doing here anyway?"

"I was looking for Remus. I wanted to start that book." She hesitated, then spoke again. "Sev said earlier he needed to disappear tonight, because the others were plotting something."

So Snape had known something was brewing and decided to hide away like a coward, rather than sound an alarm. James wondered if his rival had been privy to the dirty details of his little gang's plan.

"You could have warned us," James told her peevishly.

She frowned at him. "Now don't do that, go blaming me or Sev," she told him sharply. "I had no idea it had anything to do with you, and you have brains enough to realize that, even if you have no sense. Now tell me, whatever happened?"

"They stunned me and tied me up," Peter told her, his voice wavering as if he was still in fear of being lost to Slytherin clutches. "They said I was bait for Sirius."

The girl's eyebrows shot up. "They kidnapped you? That's insane! You should report it right away!"

James rolled his eyes at her. "Thank you for the sage advice, Evans."

"Why did they want Black?" she asked ignoring the sarcasm. She paused. "They really do pick on him, don't they?"

"Sirius is tough, he can handle it," James said, not appreciating the pity in her tone.

"That's why you two are always going for Sev, isn't it? Because those other horrible boys are always going at Black?"

"Ahh, Petey, she's pretty and smart, though a bit slow on the uptake," James drawled, too irritated to play nice, even with Lily Evans. She narrowed her eyes.

"You know Sev isn't like them. He tries to stay out of things," she insisted. "It's hard for him in that house, surrounded by all those snobby rich kids."

"Boo hoo. He should write home to mummy about it," James said. "He may have sat this one out, but he's involved with those guys Evans - don't kid yourself."

"I think I'm in a better position to judge him than you are, Potter." She'd returned to his family name. "And besides, two wrongs don't make a right. What good is it to constantly retaliate back and forth?"

"Sirius is in the hospital wing, thanks for asking after him, I'm sure he'd appreciate your concern," James said loudly, speaking over her. He had no interest in the trials and tribulations of Severus Snape. He had no interest in trying to see things from his side. And he resented that the Slytherin had a higher place of esteem in Evans' heart than the boys of her own house. "Come on Peter, let's go find Remus."

He turned his back on her and headed for the boys' dormitories. He normally liked when Lily Evans threw him a challenge. But this wasn't something he was going to debate. Severus Snape was bad news. It started the day he was sorted into Slytherin, if not before. In James Potter's mind, there was no question of this, and he believed Lily Evans would learn it the hard way someday.

/

Peter was a wreck. When they boys had returned to their room, they'd found Remus passed out on top of his bedclothes. James had checked to make sure their friend was breathing normally, then removed his shoes and covered him with the comforter from Sirius' bed. All this he'd done without speaking or even looking at Peter, before disappearing into the washroom.

Peter had screwed up. He knew this. It was bad enough that he was captured and used as a lure - but James would have forgiven that, surely. No, it wasn't his lack of strength that had alienated him from his friend. It was his disloyal outburst that had earned him the cold shoulder.

But honestly - it was easier for James - popular, powerful James Potter wasn't an easy target for bullies. No one sought to kidnap James Potter to get to Sirius Black - despite the fact that there was no doubt Sirius would risk life and limb for his best friend. They didn't target the affable, unassuming Remus Lupin. No, instead they picked pathetic, pitiful Peter Pettigrew.

Peter shivered, though it had nothing to do with the cold. Rodolphus Lestrange killed magical creatures simply for bothering him. Was he capable of killing a person? That was the thought that had plagued Peter as he sat, gagged and bound, in the abandoned classroom, praying his friends came to his rescue.

Now of course, they had, but it had come at a cost. Even James and Sirius weren't a match for a large group that included upper-years. But all three of his friends had come for him anyway - and Remus, even when safety had been at their fingertips, had rushed back into the fray.

Why weren't his friends ever afraid of anything?! They were only first-year students, for Merlin's sake.

Peter curled up on his bed and buried his face in the pillow, wallowing in his inadequacies. But after a few minutes, he felt a weight on the end of the bed.

"Petey?" It was James, fresh out of the shower. Peter sat up.

"Yeah?" Peter sniffed and then hastened to wipe away tears he hadn't realized were on his cheeks.

"Listen, I'm sorry about what happened," James said. He ran a hand through his wet hair. "And I'm sorry if we bumbled it up by coming for you ourselves instead of getting help. I'll go to Dumbledore and report it tomorrow, if you want."

"Really?" Peter had heard James say it to Prewett earlier, but he hadn't been sure his friend meant to follow through.

James shrugged. "I guess a man should know when he's out of his depth."

"Oh, thank you James!" Peter squeaked, feeling incredibly relieved. Sirius was always going on about how they couldn't trust the adults, but finally James had seen reason.

"But Petey?" James' voice was unusually seriously. "You mustn't keep blaming Sirius for things he can't control." Peter's mood deflated once again. Of course James would defend Sirius here.

"All I'm saying is that most of the trouble we find ourselves in can be tied back to him," Peter said defensively.

"No." James said quietly. "Not exactly."

"What do you mean?"

James looked him level in the eyes. "All the trouble can be tied back to all this blood purity nonsense. Can't you see how hard Sirius is trying to fight it?"

"I'm not muggleborn or pureblood!" Peter exclaimed. "Why can't I just stay out it? We're just kids."

James just shook his head. "We're kids now, but there are people in this school already choosing their side. And it's not your blood status that matters - it's the choice you ultimately make."

Why were his friends always talking about things he barely understood? And why - oh why - was he being asked to take sides in a situation that could define his entire life at age 11? How could he possibly begin to take such important steps now? They weren't even allowed to pick elective classes until third year.

"Fine, James, whatever you say," he grumbled resentfully. But that seemed to satisfy his friend, who stood up and smacked him on the shoulder.

"Good man," James said. "Now let's try to get some rest. I think Lupin had the right idea here."

Peter instinctively glanced over at Remus, who, despite normally being a rather light sleeper, hadn't budged from his prone position on his bed. "Lestrange didn't get him with anything, did he?" He asked James anxiously.

The other boy shook his head. "No, Remus was brilliant. Between you and me, I wasn't sure he'd be much help in a fight, but that disarming charm was genius. I tell you, that guy's not flashy, but he's a better wizard than the lot of us."

Peter chuckled, disarmed, as always, by James' casual manner. "I can see that."

James clapped his hands together. "Well, I suppose there's not much left to do but go to bed. Things always look brighter in the morning, after all."

"That's true," Peter said. But as he changed into his pajamas and curled up under his covers, he suddenly thought of Sirius, alone in the hospital wing, and how dark and lonely things must feel for him at the moment. And once again, Peter was ashamed of himself.


	28. Uneasy Calm

Remus shot out of bed when he awoke Monday morning. For a moment he couldn't remember where he was, but as he looked around he remembered dragging himself back to Gryffindor Tower with the others the night before and falling into his bed.

He realized someone had taken off his shoes for him and covered him with a blanket. Thankfully whoever that was (he was guessing James - Peter wasn't really the type to think of those things) had not tried to strip him off his robes to change him into pajamas. Had they, his scars would have been exposed.

The full moon wasn't until Thursday, but he already felt fatigued and sore, even after a full night's sleep. But his mind was racing, playing over the events of the previous night. He wanted to go visit Sirius. Glancing at the clock he saw that it was only 6 - he had plenty of time to swing by the hospital wing before class.

He washed quickly and when he came out he found James already dressed for the day.

"There you are!" James said. "You feeling all right after last night?"

"Oh, I'm just fine," Remus told his friend.

"Then let's get a move-on - I want to see Black before we go to the headmaster."

"Headmaster?" Remus asked.

James nodded grimly. "I promised Petey. Things have gotten out of hand."

Remus frowned. He hated to burden the headmaster, but James was right - things had escalated beyond a schoolyard skirmish. "I suppose that's the responsible thing to do."

"Black won't like it," James said. "That's why we need to talk sense to him this morning."

Remus was inclined to agree. "What about Peter?"

"Let him sleep," James said, a bit too quickly. "He deserves a break."

Remus pursed his lips. He was the observant one of the group, and he'd noticed the way James averted his eyes when he spoke. Clearly there was something he'd missed last night, but they'd have to discuss it later. There was only so much time in a morning, and they needed to get to the hospital wing.

The walk to the hospital wing was quiet, which was unusual for anything involving James. Remus wanted to ask his friend what he was thinking, but part of him was concerned James wouldn't want to share.

Remus wondered if he'd performed as expected last night. He didn't enjoy violence or confrontation, but his concern for Peter's safety and overridden those feelings.

The boy didn't think his mother would approve of his brawling, especially with students as dangerous as Rodolphus Lestrange. It wasn't a good idea to draw attention to himself. He knew this, and yet he'd followed the plan - no, he'd orchestrated the plan - with James and Sirius. It just seemed more important to stand by his friends than to stand in the shadows this time.

When they reached the hospital wing Madam Pomfrey didn't seem surprised to see them. "He's still sleeping," she told them.

"Well of course he is," James said lightly. "He usually rolls out of bed just a few minutes before breakfast. Let me at him, will you?"

The matron considered this for a moment, and then a voice called out from the depths of the wing. "Are those Potter's dulcet tones I hear?"

Remus chuckled at the exasperated look on the matron's face. "I suppose you can go see the patient, given that he's awake."

James grinned and bounded off, but Remus hung back with the matron from a moment. "Ma'am, were you able to fix him?" He asked quietly.

She smiled at him indulgently. "He'll be just fine by lunch." Her expression shifted. "But Remus dear, I have to wonder what you boys have gotten yourselves into. He came to be at the beginning of the year with a leg swollen beyond what any popular schoolyard jinx could do, and now this?" Her eyes bore into him, and Remus knew she was about to try to extract information from him. "Won't you tell me who did these things?"

Remus hated to refuse Madam Pomfrey anything, but he simply could not give her names without discussing it with Sirius. He did not want to lie, so he did not say anything.

She waited a moment, then sighed. "Honestly, young men and their conspiracies of silence..." She clucked her tongue and walked away toward her office.

Remus hurried over to his friends, and was surprised to see Sirius was in a good mood.

"Lupin!" He said loudly. "Look what I have!" He shook a piece of parchment and Remus took it, expecting it to be a letter of some sort. But when he went to read it, it was a collection of unreadable symbols."

"Erm - we don't study Ancient Ruins until third year…" Remus said, turning the parchment sideways as if that may help explain its secrets.

"They're not ruins - it's a message from Dromeda - just delivered by a house elf. Why haven't I ever considered them as a communication system before? It's a secret message in a special code I devised so our communications can't be intercepted." Sirius grinned at him as if this was a perfectly normal thing to do.

"Oh...that seems...excessive…" Remus said, wondering uncomfortably if the punishment for having contact with Sirius' newly estranged cousin was truly worth the precautions. He handed it back. "What does it say?"

"It says the whole Slytherin Common Room was abuzz with the news that Rolph and his motley crew were overpowered by a few Gryffindor first years!" Sirius said, waving the precious message over his head. "It also says that she overheard Lucius and Rodolphus having a row. Apparently Mr. Malfoy is quite upset that Rolph took the time out for such "undignified" and "irresponsible" activities - and that their fathers would be ashamed. Then Cissy broke in and told Rolph she'd be writing Bella about the whole thing." Sirius grinned. "He's humiliated."

"Which means he'll be looking to get us back threefold," James said reasonably. "Which is why, as I was trying to tell this berk before you came over, we need to take this to a higher authority."

"And I told you that's a barmy idea," Sirius said. "Rolph's a budding death eater - a slap on the wrist at school isn't going to help anything."

Remus had predicted Sirius would respond this way, and he was prepared. "Sirius, has it occured to you that maybe Dumbledore is better equipped to handle budding death eaters than we are? I mean, we just learned what the word meant."

The other boys stared at him. "How do you mean?"

Remus hoped his friends didn't think him a fool for what he was about to propose. But he had been considering it for some time now, and it was time to speak up. "I think Dumbledore is heading an underground spy operation to undermine the blood purity movement."

Both James and Sirius stared at him, and Remus felt his confidence waning as the stretch of silence extended. He rushed to defend his theory.

"It makes sense!" He said. "The visit from Fabian Prewett. The informant meeting James stumbled across in the middle of the night. What Hagrid let slip. The headmaster's frequent disappearances." He ticked them off on his fingers. The fact that Dumbledore had dealings that led him to discover a werewolf in hiding, Remus added silently.

"The way Gideon kept pushing us to the headmaster, instead of McGonagall…" James broke in. His brow was furrowed as if considering the information carefully. "But if Dumbledore knows about the death eaters, why in the world is he letting their children run wild at Hogwarts? And why isn't he working with the ministry?"

"The ministry is full of people who think the same way these death eaters do," Sirius said. "It's influenced by people like my grandfather, remember? And Dumbledore can't ban students from prominent families from attending Hogwarts on some suspicion about their parents. No one actually knows who the death eaters are - except other death eaters - and even then I'll bet there are factions." Sirius had seized Remus' idea and was running with it. "That would explain the secrecy…"

"It makes perfect sense!" James said, bouncing up and down. "We should confront him right now! I have questions."

"Confront?" Remus wasn't sure bursting into the headmaster's office demanding answers was a good idea, even if he believed his theory correct. But James was a force of nature. He grabbed Remus by the arm and tugged him away from the bed.

"We'll report back as soon as we can, Black!" James promised as he dragged Remus out of the hospital wing. Sirius waved them on, equally enthusiastic about James' plan.

Remus tried to fight for the freedom of his arm, but it was hopeless. He was no match for James in a passionate march. So he followed along, trying to plan out what to say to the one of the most powerful wizards in the world when they told him they'd likely worked out a great secret.

/

James had never actually been to the headmaster's office before, but this minor obstacle was of little concern to him. He knew where it was from his detailed interrogation of older students when he first arrived in September. So it wasn't long before he and Remus were standing before a gargoyle on the seventh floor.

"How do we get in?" James asked Remus, whom he'd finally released after dragging him across the castle.

Remus shrugged. "I suppose it's pointless to tell you I think this is a bad plan."

"Yup!" James said. He examined the gargoyle carefully, then knocked it on the head with a fist. "Hello? James Potter and Remus Lupin here to see the headmaster."

For a moment James thought nothing was happening, but suddenly there was the unmistakable sound of something moving, and then the gargoyle slid aside, revealing a spiral staircase.

The two boys glanced at each other, then cautiously headed up the stairs. They reached what was clearly the outer chamber of an office. James looked around, scrutinizing the situation, then decided the staircase wouldn't have appeared if the boys weren't welcome, and stepped forward through another door into an inner office.

When he entered, he whistled. The headmaster's office was a large, circular room, full of all manner of magical instruments, some of which a child as privileged as James did not recognize. In the center of the room there was a large claw-foot desk, and sitting at it was their long-haired headmaster.

"Ah. Mr. Potter. Mr. Lupin. What a pleasant surprise." The man was looking at James over his half-moon spectacles. "What can I do for you on this lovely morning?"

"Well…" James, who was never at a loss for words, wasn't sure which part to start with. Did he immediately jump in with questions? That was what Sirius would do. But perhaps he should report Lestrange, as he had promised Peter, before he started demanding answers.

"We have a problem to report, one I've been advised to bring directly to your attention," James finally said, deciding to take a formal tone. He stood as straight as possible and straightened his shoulders, hoping his posture could command respect the way his father did.

"I see," the old wizard said. "Well please then, sit down so we might discuss your problem at length." He gestured at two chairs that James hadn't noticed before - had Dumbledore conjured them without him noticing? James shook himself and took a seat, still trying to maintain his straight spine.

"It's regarding one Rodolphus Lestrange," James said. "I'm afraid we, as first year students, have found ourselves a bit out of our depth. You see, our friend, Sirius Black, has a poor relationship with Lestrange. I'm afraid things have escalated to the point of physical harm, by magical means."

The headmaster nodded as if this information was perfectly reasonable, which was somewhat alarming to James. He would certainly be writing his father, he decided.

"This would be the young Sirius Black who is currently a resident of the hospital wing?" Dumbledore asked, though he clearly knew the answer. James and Remus both nodded. "And why did you boys feel you should bring this information to me, rather than Madam Pomfrey?"

It was a question, not an admonishment. Remus was the one to answer.

"We were advised by an older student to discuss it with you."

"Because we think Lestrange is a wanna-be death eater," James added. "And we think you might know a thing or two about death eaters."

Something flashed in the man's eyes when James spoke, though his body language remained relaxed. Silence stretched for a bit longer than a natural pause, then Dumbledore spoke.

"It's always rather disappointing to hear young mouths discuss dark subjects," he mused, almost to himself. "I had hoped I would never hear the term death eaters spoken from a student's mouth, especially one as young as yourselves."

James resisted an urge to roll his eyes. "So you do know a thing or two about death eaters, right? Because Rodolphus Lestrange seems the type, and he used some kind of purple spell that targets the nerves on Black last night. That has to be dark magic."

The man's eyes grew hard, and he stood up and began pacing. "I fear this is a topic I can shed little light on for you, boys," he said after a moment.

"Can't or won't?" James demanded.

"James!" Remus hissed to the right of him, but Dumbledore chuckled.

"Won't, I'm afraid, Mr. Potter. At least right now." The headmaster stopped moving and suddenly smiled at the boys. "It was very brave of you to come with this information. It seems this is a greater problem then a simple schoolyard bully."

"There's more," Remus spoke softly, and James nodded at his friend in encouragement. "Lestrange - he kidnapped our friend Peter to get to Sirius."

"And before that, Peter saw him use The Killing Curse."

The cold look in the headmaster's eyes returned. "All of this on school grounds?"

"Yes!" James said impatiently. This man was supposed to be a great wizard, but at the moment he didn't seem as sharp as Professor McGonagall, who James was used to dealing with. He wondered if Prewett's advice had been sound.

The headmaster frowned. "Were there others involved in this?"

"Well, yes, but -" James wasn't sure he was ready to implicate the others as harshly as he'd done Lestrange. He still believed he could handle the rest of them independently. "It's just Lestrange I have true concerns about."

"He attacked Sirius and I outside the Great Hall once," Remus said. "He used an explosion spell. Andromeda Black intervened then."

James had forgotten about that particular incident, and was happy Remus had thought to mention it. "Lestrange once tried to prey on us when we were playing football with a group of muggleborns."

"He's dangerous, Professor," Remus said. "Please, we're sorry to inconvenience you with this but -"

The headmaster raised a hand to silence them. "I am not inconvenienced by your reporting this, boys. Troubled, perhaps, but certainly not inconvenienced. It seems I will have to have a frank conversation with Professor Slughorn. And Madam Pomfrey as well."

"That's it?" James asked, raising an eyebrow. He doubted Slughorn would have any impact. "We just laid out expellable offenses."

"I have taken your concerns seriously, and I will see action taken," The headmaster assured them. "But matters of discipline are between the staff and the student."

This made James angry. "He's a blood purist! He runs a gang of haughty bigots and is constantly trying to indoctrinate others into their twisted ideology! He's picking on boys five years his junior. He's specifically targeting my friend because Sirius refuses to buy into all that pureblood nonsense." James slammed a fist down on the desk. "Frankly, I'm not sure you are taking our concerns seriously!"

"My, Dumbledore, this one's feisty."

James jumped at the new voice. He scanned the office and realized it was one of the portraits that had spoken.

"I, for one, am shocked a Gryffindor would come crying to the headmaster with such petty accusations against another student," another portrait chimed in.

"Phineas, you only say that because of the other boy's family name," a third chimed in. "If it were someone else, you'd call it responsible and pragmatic."

"The Lestranges are long-time benefactors of Hogwarts and a variety of other Wizarding organizations," the second portrait retorted to the third. "To level such claims against their heir-"

"I'm not a liar!" James stood up and yelled angrily at the portrait. "Who the heck are you anyway?" The wizard in the picture turned and looked down his nose at the boy.

"Now Phineas, a student has come to me with a legitimate concern. It will be addressed, as is my job as head of this school," Dumbledore broke in.

Now fired up, James turned back to the headmaster. "Remus thinks you're engaged in quite a bit more than just running this school," he said rashly. "And I think he's right. I think you know all about the death eaters. So why aren't you taking me seriously?"

"James, stop it! That's no way to talk to the headmaster," Remus chastised him before Dumbledore could speak, then turned back to the adult. "What James is trying to say is, well..."

"I do know about the death eaters," Dumbledore said in a patient tone before Remus could continue. "But what I know about the death eaters is not information I'm required to provide to young boys, no matter how curious or intuitive those boys are. And what I do know is this - no death eaters are roaming the halls of Hogwarts. And I am doing my best to prevent any of the students roaming the halls from becoming anything less than upstanding citizens. Perhaps the information you provided me with today can help in that matter."

"Too late," James muttered, crossing his arms. He felt the entire interaction had been nothing but a waste.

One of the portraits giggled. "Such a strong-willed child."

"A disrespectful, shameful child," the portrait named Phineas sniffed.

The headmaster ignored them both. "Now, boys, I think it's time the three of us head down to breakfast."

James shrugged and headed for the door. Nothing would be done, he'd already decided. Dumbledore would not take them at their word. It was a poor choice to report the problem to the headmaster. James would have to continue to handle things his own way.

/

A curious series of events occured in the days following Sirius' overnight stay in the hospital wing. First, James came back from the headmaster's office raving about how nothing was to be done, and that they should have taken matters into their own hands. Sirius, of course, had rather been of this opinion from the beginning, and was rather put off that the other two boys had barely asked the headmaster about any potential spy activities.

Second, Rodolphus was curiously absent from the Slytherin house table for three days. Through Andromeda, Sirius learned that Lestrange had been put on some kind of in-house suspension. The four Gryffindor boys had celebrated the news with a jaunt down to the kitchens for cake.

Third, and the most curious, he received a letter from his grandfather detailing some kind of break-in at the Lestrange estate.

 _It's not clear who they were or what they were after, but the compound was ransacked, and our friends are still assessing the damage. I'm advising you to take precautions with any Black family heirlooms in your possession,_ the letter read.

"I think Dumbledore did take some kind of action," Sirius told James after receiving the letter. "In fact, I think he took higher level action than we expected."

"What do you mean?" James asked.

Sirius handed him the letter, which James then passed to Remus to assess for himself.

"I thought he was just batty and blowing us off," James said. "But this…"

"This solidifies Remus' theory," Sirius said excitedly. "Dumbledore is working against the D.E.s" The boys had agreed to shorten the term death eater to initials when discussing anything in public, to reduce the risk of trouble.

"It solidifies nothing," Remus told the other two sternly, handing back the letter. "It's merely another piece of the puzzle. It could have just been a break-in."

Sirius shook his head. "Do you have any idea the magical protections around the Lestrange place? It would take someone pretty powerful to bust through those - this wasn't your average everyday criminal."

"What are you guys talking about?" Peter, who had been stuffing his face with pie and hadn't read the letter, asked.

"A top-secret organization is operating under our noses," Sirius said.

"We still don't know that," Remus said with a sigh. "You're letting your imagination get away from you."

But it was easy for Sirius' imagination to get away from him, especially when he wasn't constantly watching his back for Lestrange. Another curious effect of the whole situation - he was being followed around by older students. They weren't all prefects, and they weren't all Gryffindors, and only two of them even talked to him, but he knew they were there.

The group consisted of Gideon Prewett, who didn't try to hide the fact that he was tailing him.

"I'm your protection detail," he told him brightly one afternoon. Sirius couldn't decide whether to be irritated or pleased with the situation. The detail apparently also consisted of Frank Longbottom, Dorcas Meadowes in Ravenclaw, and a Hufflepuff named Caradoc Dearborn.

Longbottom and Dearborn weren't much for conversation, and often tried to conceal their presence, but Meadowes was the talkative sort.

"What is it like, being constantly tracked by a bunch of wanna-be aurors?" she asked jokingly one afternoon as she walked with the four boys to Herbology.

"Suffocating," he told her.

She laughed. "Sorry about that. I think the headmaster is just trying to avoid any potential retaliatory attacks."

"Why did he choose you four, anyway?" James asked. He and Sirius had been trying to find a connection between the four students, but they were different years, different houses, not all prefects, and not all members of a common team or club.

"I told you, we're all hoping to become aurors," she said. "What better way to practice than by standing by to protect those who need it?"

"You'll have to work on concealment and disguise," Sirius told her dryly. "Say, do you really think you'll be able to take on Rolph if he attacks?" Meadowes was only a fifth-year.

"Honestly, I don't think he'll try with witnesses around," she said. "But don't worry - if he does, I have a trick or two up my sleeve."

"Will you teach us?" James asked.

"Absolutely not," she said. "I don't need you turning around and trying my tricks on some poor unsuspecting first-year Slytherin."

A partial prefect protection system meant Sirius and James were having a harder time than usual getting into their regular mischief, but that just meant they had to get more creative. The two boys were regularly sneaking out after curfew with the invisibility cloak, exploring and dropping the occasional dungbomb for someone to tread on in the early morning.

Sirius was finally able to really relax again, and Hogwarts was once again a happy place. He supposed despite what his parents had said over the years, Albus Dumbledore wasn't too bad after all.

/

Peter had noticed an uneasy peace had descended upon Hogwarts - with exams coming the fifth and seventh year students had overtaken the library and most of the study areas in the common room, and Merlin-forbid you cause a disturbance.

After all the trouble with the Slytherins, Peter remained jumpy and on edge, even after a few days passed without incident. He was finally starting to calm down when Remus disappeared again, and for a terrifying few hours he, James and Sirius were convinced the Slytherins had staged another kidnapping. The horror came to an end when Gideon Prewett, who had been Sirius' protection detail that afternoon, suggested they inquire with Professor McGonagall, who confirmed that Remus had simply taken another trip home.

"I wish he would give us the heads up on that!" James grumbled when they returned to the Common Room, giving Prewett leave to go about his business for the rest of the day with them safely in Gryffindor territory and out of reach from any Slytherin attacks. "Especially in the current environment."

"A boy shouldn't have to live in fear of an attack, or an attack on his mates," Sirius said glumly.

"Buck up, it will blow over," James said, but Peter wasn't so sure. The year had been a series of ups and downs for Sirius, and by extension, for the rest of them. It seemed too good to be true that everything would just blow over.

James and Remus had gone to the headmaster, but they hadn't thought to wake Peter, who'd wanted to have his own say but lacked the confidence to go visit the headmaster on his own. He was annoyed that while the headmaster appeared to have taken James and Remus somewhat seriously, no adult had come to him requesting more details on either his capture by Lestrange's hand or his witnessing of the Killing Curse.

Peter had thought using an unforgivable curse was grounds for Azkaban, but apparently that only applied if it was used on another human being. Still, it certainly seemed like it should be an expellable offense. Either Dumbledore hadn't fully believed the boys' story, or the man wasn't as concerned with student safety as Peter figured a headmaster ought to be.

The whole thing left a bitter taste in Peter's mouth. A three-day suspension was hardly punishment for the humiliation he endured. And while James and Sirius seemed to have recovered, he was still suffering, and it made him resentful.

To his credit, Sirius had been unusually nice to Peter ever since the incident. He hadn't made any jokes at his expense, or stolen food off his plate, or hidden any of his class notes. And James was his usual cheery self. On the evening Remus disappeared, James dragged Peter into a group of older students in the Common Room to show off his chess skills. It did cheer Peter up slightly to show off the one thing he was good at, and he was able to relax in the safety of Gryffindor Tower.

After beating both Kyle Dawson and Frank Longbottom (and earning James and Sirius several sickles - they'd put money down on him) Peter was pleased to see his next challenger - Mary MacDonald.

"I like chess," Mary told him as she sat down. "The rules are the same whether you play the muggle way or the magical way. It's one of the few things I didn't need an explainer on when I started here. One of the only things I didn't feel behind on."

"I like chess because it's one of the few things I'm better at than my friends," Peter told her, earning himself a side-eye from Sirius and a chuckle from James.

"I'm sure there are more than just a few things," she said kindly as she directed her pawn forward.

"There really aren't," he told her, thinking of the events of the last few days and moving a knight.

"Sometimes it's much easier to see the good qualities in others than in ourselves," she told him. "I'm sure you have many."

"I don't know about that," Peter said.

"Blimey, Petey, just hush up and take a compliment from a pretty girl," Sirius broke in. Peter felt himself flush and started to turn to snap at his friend, but stopped when Mary giggled.

"Oh. Well, thank you," Peter said. James and Sirius chortled behind him, but he chose to ignore them.

The game went for several turns without much conversation. Mary was a better player than Peter's first two challengers had been, and he actually had to concentrate.

At some point Eliza Corsica and Lily Evans joined the group.

"Black. How are you feeling?" Lily asked, a bit stiffly.

"I'm the picture of a healthy nervous system," Sirius told her. "How's Snivelly?"

"His name is Severus and I don't appreciate you-"

"Now don't start that!" Mary broke in, looking up from the chess board. "In fact, I'm barring any talk of Slytherin house tonight. I need to focus if I've any chance of beating Peter."

"You haven't a chance of beating Petey anyway," Sirius told her, but he and Lily both stood down.

"YES!" James shouted a few minutes later when Peter declared checkmate. "That's another ten sickles to us, I think," he said to Dawson and another student Peter didn't know, who had been watching from a distance. "Pay up, gents."

"You're betting on the games?" Lily asked. Peter sighed inwardly, wondering if Evans was about to scold them for a little spot of fun.

"Of course I'm betting on Petey," James told her, grinning and whacking his friend on the back. "I know I can bet on my friends. You put up a good fight though, MacDonald."

Mary smiled graciously.

"He is quite gifted at chess. I don't have the patience for it," Lily said. Peter was a bit surprised, but indeed very pleased, but the compliment. He never could figure out Lily - she was always fighting with James and Sirius, yet she kept joining them, and was always nice to Remus and Peter.

"Say, is Remus around? I never did get that book," she said.

Peter shook his head.

"Lupin had to go home to visit his mum," James explained. "She's ill with some kind of muggle malady."

"Oh no - really?" The three girls all made varying noises of dismay.

"Do you know what it is?" Mary asked.

James shrugged. "You know, I never thought to ask."

"Is that why he misses so much class?" Lily asked.

Sirius nodded. "But don't you bother him about it- he doesn't like when people make a fuss."

"Of course," Eliza said. "It must be hard enough to have a sick mum without people pestering you about it."

"Exactly," Sirius said, nodding emphatically. Peter privately thought that James and Sirius pestered Remus plenty, but he was wise enough to keep that to himself.

"I'll feeling a little peckish. Black - what say you and I go pick up some supplies for our little group here?" James said, stretching lazily and standing up. "Petey, you keep these ladies entertained for us, all right?"

Peter nodded, though he was a little concerned as he watched his friends bound off. Clearly they were headed for the kitchens, and Peter wasn't sure how long he could keep the girls occupied. He wasn't the most social of the group.

His fears went unfounded, however, as the three girls were quite chatty and also kind enough to make a point of including him. As it turned out, Mary and Eliza were both Quidditch fans and trying to convert Lily, who didn't seem sold on it.

"I just don't understand the appeal of a sport where the audience can only see half the game and the match can go for days," the redhead argued.

"You just need a good set of binoculars," Peter told her. "It's much more fun to watch that way."

"It's even better to play yourself," Eliza said. "You've done well in flying lessons - you should consider trying out for the team next year. You're an athlete after all. You love football."

Lily shook her head. "I'm an athlete that keeps two feet on the ground, thank you," she said.

"You should try it once, " Peter said. "I'm sure James would be happy to give you some coaching."

The girl scoffed and wrinkled her nose like she'd smelled something awful. "Coaching from Potter? I think not. He and Black are almost unbearable without giving them that kind of authority."

Peter realized this was his chance to make up for his poor loyalty. "I really think if you spent some time really getting to know them you wouldn't say things like that," he told her. "They're high energy, but they're really good friends."

"I don't think Lily dislikes Potter and Black as much as she likes to think she does," Mary said slyly.

"Mary!" Lily squealed. "Don't say things like that to Peter. He'll misunderstand."

Peter wasn't really sure what he was supposed to be misunderstanding. He himself had already noticed that Lily kept coming around, despite her blowups with his two friends. And they were a big year - she could certainly find other people to hang around if she wanted to. Girls were confusing.

"Well, I think Black and Potter are funny. Every year needs a class clown or two," Eliza said.

Lily sniffed. "Class clowns are fine. Class bullies are another."

"They're hardly bullies, Lily," Mary chastised.

"That depends on who you ask," Lily retorted. "I don't like the way they treat Sev."

"Well, I'm not a fan of the way 'Sev' treats anybody." The words came out of Peter's mouth before he fully processed the thought in his brain, and the look Lily gave him made him want to swallow them back up.

"And what exactly is wrong with the way my friend acts?" Lily asked sharply.

Peter wanted to back down. He wasn't a match for Lily Evans - this was a fact. But he had to defend James and Sirius at all costs - he owned them, especially Sirius, that much.

"He blew up Sirius' leg, remember? That was unprovoked." Peter's voice was shaky, but he got the words out.

Lily glared at him for a moment, then bit her lip and sighed. "I tried to ask him about that but he wouldn't talk about it," she admitted.

"Sometimes people just rub each other the wrong way," Mary said. "Clearly that's the case with Severus and James."

"And Sirius," Peter agreed. "But then again, most of Slytherin house rubs Sirius the wrong way…"

"We're backkk," James' voice sang out from the portrait hole, interrupting the conversation.

Lily's head snapped away from Peter and fell on James as though she were startled. "I never saw you come back down from the dormitories. How did you get over there?"

"We have our ways," Sirius said, winking at Eliza. "Now, who wants some cauldron cakes?"

Peter took one happily and settled in as James and Sirius distributed the food they'd nicked from the kitchens. He noticed Lily, for all her criticism of the boys, took a cake and some pumpkin juice with a smile and settled down cross-legged on the floor next to James.

Peter really didn't understand women.


	29. Small Victories

Lily Evans laid in bed quietly, waiting, as she often did, to hear Eliza's breathing change to the deep wheeze of sleep. Eliza was usually the last to fall asleep - she was more of a night owl than the other girls - expect Lily, but of course the others didn't know that.

When Lily finally heard the subtle change, she slid out of bed. She had plans to meet Severus.

Lily was respectful of her teachers and other Hogwarts staff, and being respectful of their authority often led people to believe that Lily was also respectful of the rules.

This wasn't necessarily the case. Rules, of course, had a time and place. Rules that were in place for safety reasons, were, of course, worth following. But rules like a curfew, which was more about discipline and control, were rather less important.

Now, she wasn't sneaking out to further misbehave, like she suspected Potter and Black did quite often. No, she was only breaking one rule, so that she might spend quality time with a friend. Surely that was a forgivable offense?

The redhead slipped across the stone floor in her socks, knowing that would make less noise than taking steps. It was not the first time she'd snuck out at night. She grabbed her bag, which she'd prepacked for her little rendezvous, then carefully, she opened the heavy dormitory door. She knew by now it creaked, but it was quiet enough that it didn't disturb the other girls.

One she was safely on the staircase she paused for a moment to glance out of one of the small windows in the tower. A beautiful full moon peeked through the clouds, illuminating the glass. Lily smiled to herself and continued on her journey.

She glanced around the Common Room but found it empty, as it usually was at this time, then walked across the space and out of the portrait hole. The Fat Lady was currently off - no doubt to visit her friend Violet in another portrait, but Lily wasn't concerned - she never had trouble making it back to the common room, and the Fat Lady didn't seem interested in reporting students for every little late night adventure.

She and Severus normally met in a seventh-floor study room full of squishy chairs. For some reason the staff never seemed to patrol the area, and though Severus always took precautions, his wards seemed unnecessary for their privacy.

When she walked in the boy was already waiting, having started a fire in the large fireplace. He turned and smiled when he saw her. His smile was a rare thing at Hogwarts, Lily had noticed, but he always spared one for her.

"You know, if you did that more often maybe you'd have less trouble making friends," she told him, smiling back. While she had quickly settled in to her new home and warmed up to her housemates in Gryffindor, Sev was having a harder time - which was often the topic of discussion at their late-night meetings. Lily tried not to be prejudice, but she thought it might be because the majority of Slytherin house was rather unpleasant.

He scowled at her, but then his face relaxed again into a smaller smile. "If only it were that simple," he said, shaking his head.

She came and sat down in a chair in front of the fireplace and he chose one next to her.

"How was your day?" He asked her.

"Good!" She said. "I finished a difficult Transfiguration assignment, and then I watched Mary play Peter in chess for a bit - they're both quite good - Peter might even be able to give you a run for your money." Lily wasn't a huge fan of chess to begin with, and whenever she played Severus she lost spectacularly. He was simply too good at strategy.

He sneered. "Peter as in Peter Pettigrew? He has the brains of a troll, and a gut to match."

She frowned. She didn't like when he spoke so cruelly. "Sev…"

"Ok, I'm sorry." He held up his hands. "I just don't understand why someone like you would waste your time with someone like him. Isn't he the one that's always hiding behind Potter and Black?"

She sighed. "He hardly needed to hide behind them in chess. They were putting money on him."

"Wait a minute - you were spending time with those two arrogant cretins?" His face clouded. "Black tried to hex me in the Great Hall yesterday."

"And as I recall, you tried to hex him in Potions last week, and you both missed," Lily told him. "I wish you wouldn't retaliate, Sev. Two wrongs don't make a right." In truth, Lily wasn't really sure who had started the seemingly endless battle between Potter, Black and Severus. She remembered James being rather rude on the train, and between that and her loyalty to her friend, she'd chosen sides. But the other girls seemed to think Potter and Black were good fun, and every so often, Lily got a glimpse of things that made her question her first impressions. As such, Lily tried to keep the peace when she was with Gryffindor house.

"I just can't believe you're befriending my enemies," he whined, another thing he'd never dare if others were around. But he was never as guarded with Lily as he was with anyone else.

"I'm not 'befriending' them - we're in the same house and year, we're bound to be in the common room at the same time eventually," Lily said impatiently. "And isn't 'enemies' a bit of a strong word?" Severus was her oldest friend, and she cared for him deeply, but ever since they'd arrived at school and been sorted into different houses, they were butting heads more than ever at home.

"I suppose I'm just frustrated that those imbeciles get to see you and spend time with you during the day, and I have to settle for a secret meeting at night," he grumbled. "Potter and Black...they think they're so funny…"

Lily thought it prudent not to mention that in spite of herself, she had found the pair rather funny that evening - they had treated the common room to an awful rendition of a T Rex song. Lily had been surprised the two purebloods even listened to muggle music, (and wondered how, given that muggle radios appeared not to work at Hogwarts). Perhaps Remus had turned them on to it.

She had been trying to befriend Remus, who she found much less irritating than Potter or Black. She liked to think Remus and Severus might get along, if she warmed them both up to the idea. Severus could use another friend, and the quiet and patient Remus seemed a better fit than Mary or Eliza, who were, admittedly, a bit bubbly for Severus' taste. But Remus had been missing from the group - home to visit a sick mother, as Potter told it.

"I don't understand why we can't spend more time together in public," she said. This was another repeated conversation. Severus worked with her in Potions, and studied with her at the library, but aside from that he was generally unwilling to be seen together, and refused to speak with her new friends expect in one-word sentences. He hadn't come out and said it, but Lily knew it was because of his housemates, like Evan Rosier and Steven Mulciber, and of course the older boys. What she was having a harder time determining was why he wouldn't stand up to them. Judging from what she'd seen, the Slytherins disliked her for being muggleborn. But Severus had always known that and it had never mattered before. So the question was, was he afraid to his housemates, or secretly ashamed of her?

It would be easy to take offense if not for the way Severus acted during their secret meetings. He was always so happy to see her, and more talkative with her than she ever saw him with anyone else. They brought each other books, spent hours up just talking, and eventually snuck back to their common rooms exhausted but, in Lily's case, happy and refreshed after a night with an old friend.

No, Lily didn't really think Sev was ashamed of her. She thought he was afraid. She suspected he was bullied by his housemates - and the more she heard about Rodolphus Lestrange, the more she was concerned that the type of bullying the older boy engaged in made Potter and Black look like perfect angels.

"I'm just busy during the day," Severus said in response. Lily pursed her lips but said nothing - she did not want to push him. He was having a hard enough time adjusting to school. But it made her sad to see his resistance to her attempts at dragging him out of his shell. She thought again of the group she'd laughed with in the common room last night, and tried to imagine what it would be like to see Severus laugh along with others. She couldn't even picture it.

"How's your mum?" she asked, changing the subject.

He shrugged. "She says things are ok. She sent me a letter last week and it was new parchment."

Lily nodded. She knew Severus' family was poor, and she knew half the reason for that was his father's drinking, which made things difficult at home. A letter written on new parchment, and not a reused piece or even a note scribbled on repurposed muggle junk mail, was a good sign, and something many students at Hogwarts would never understand. In fact, many students made fun of his second-hand robes and worn shoes, something Lily never tolerated if it happened in her hearing range.

"That's good," she said, smiling at him. "Speaking of new…" She reached into her bag and produced a book. "Here's a new read. It's not really my style, but I spotted it at the library and I thought you would like it."

He took the book and smiled, as she knew he would. "'The Linguistics of Magic,'" he said, reading the title.

She nodded. "It's all about how language is created and how that language is then used in spell casting. You can create the same spell in different languages, and it will have varying degrees of success. And some spells can only be accomplished with very precise language, while others are more forgiving."

He glanced at her over the book. "I thought you said it's not your style." The smile was back in his eyes.

"I had to read a bit to decide," she told him with a laugh.

He settled into his chair and opened the book to begin reading. Some may have found this rude, but this was the way of things between Lily and Severus - comfortable silence.

Lily pulled out another book she'd brought along for herself and dove in, content simply spending time together. For now, this would do.

/

Remus groaned and stretched. It felt like every joint in his body was cracking and popping, but there was pleasure and relief in the pain. He was back in his human form in one piece after another month.

Every transformation reminded Remus of just how lucky, and precarious, his position in life was at the moment. He had loving parents, loyal friends, and a place at a school no werewolf had ever seen before. But if something went wrong, it could all disappear in an instant. After the latest close call with the Slytherins, Remus had reignited his vow that he best live every moment to the fullest until disaster struck.

Lycanthropy had always made Remus mature beyond his years. He supposed trials and tribulations would have that effect on a person. He wondered if Sirius ever felt that way - weary and tired at the tender age of 12.

He chuckled to himself. Sirius was clever beyond his years, certainly, but he couldn't imagine anyone describing Sirius as mature. With Dumbledore now involved in the issue of Rodolphus Lestrange, Sirius and James had returned to planning their riotous pranks.. Merlin, as much as it drove him crazy, Remus loved the carefree chaos those two brought everywhere they went.

Thinking of his friends waiting for him back at the castle made lying on the cold floor of the shack waiting for Madam Pomfrey slightly less miserable. It wasn't long before Remus heard the witch calling his name. He responded with a hoarse "Hello!" and he was soon swaddled up and limping back (at his insistence he only use the stretcher when he absolutely needed it) to the castle under a disillusionment charm.

But when they reached a castle, they encountered a problem - a disturbance in the entrance hall.

"To accuse MY SON of such OUTRAGEOUS acts," a large man in expensive silk robes that Remus did not recognize was shouting at the headmaster. Next to the man was none other than Rodolphus Lestrange.

Remus, despite being mostly invisible, instinctively hid behind Madam Pomfrey, who, misunderstanding the reason for his concern but acting nonetheless, backed toward a corner to better conceal him.

"Really, Daedalus, as I explained in my previous communications, there was ample evidence and witness testimony…"

"I'd like to speak to these so-called witnesses myself!" The man, who Remus deduced must be the elder Lestrange, snapped.

"I'm afraid that information is confidential," Dumbledore said. "Should you care to further discuss this I suggest we retire to my office so dear Poppy and anyone else attempting to use the entrance hall for its intended purpose might do so." He nodded at Madam Pomfrey.

"There's nothing more to discuss. I am pulling my sons from this school at once. You've really let it go, Dumbledore. Mudbloods around every corner, classes like Defense Against the Dark Arts…" The man's voice was full of vitriol as he reached an arm around his son.

"Father, there's no need to pull Rab. He's nowhere near ready," Rodolphus said lazily, seeming utterly unconcerned by the scene playing out. "I, however, think I've outgrown the halls of Hogwarts."

The man considered his son for a moment. His black eyes were sharp and unkind, and Remus squeezed back further into his corner, hoping he remained undetected. He didn't want those eyes piercing into him.

"I'll send an elf for your things," he finally said. "We'll discuss your brother's education with your mother. Perhaps it's time to look into Durmstrang…"

"Are you sure you won't reconsider, Rodolphus?" Dumbledore asked, addressing the young man rather than his father.

The young man scoffed. "There's nothing more I need from Hogwarts or you, headmaster. This is where we part." Rodolphus gave a nasty smile. "I'm ready, Father."

Daedalus Lestrange nodded, then turned on his heel and walked briskly to the entrance, his robes billowing out behind him. He walked by the matron as though he didn't even see her.

When the Lestranges were out of sight, Dumbledore turned to his school healer. "I'm sorry you had to witness that ugliness Poppy. And you too, Remus."

The boy poked his head out from behind the matron, though he wasn't sure of the headmaster could see him or if he just knew he was meant to be there. All he could think about was telling Sirius and James about what he'd just witnessed, but he had to concoct a solid excuse for being at the entrance hall at such a time when the rest of the school was sleeping, and when he was supposed to be home with his mother.

"Making such a scene. Entirely undignified," the matron said, huffing. "Now Remus, let's get you upstairs and in bed. You shouldn't be upright for this long - rest is the key to healing properly."

Remus nodded and followed her without comment. He felt uneasy. It was certainly safer at Hogwarts without Rodolphus Lestrange, but what did it mean outside the castle walls? What did it mean for Sirius when he goes home for summer break?

Remus was afraid to ask.

/

A house elf startled Sirius out of his dreams.

"Master Black!" The elf whispered. "Keety is sorry for waking you, but she was told the message could not wait!" The elf bowed low and presented him with a scrap of parchment. Sirius immediately knew it must be from Andromeda.

"Thanks Keety," Sirius said, dismissing her with a wave. He unfolded the message, deciphered it quickly, then, upon realizing what it said, groped around under his bed until he found a shoe and threw it at James.

"Potter, wake up!" Sirius hissed. James rarely bothered to close his curtains before bed and Sirius' shoe smacked him right on the head.

"Ouch. What's the idea, Black?" A groggy James popped up.

"New intel," Sirius said. "It seems our mission has been accomplished."

"What are you talking about, Black?" James grumbled, unhappy to be awoken.

But Sirius just grinned. He was happier than he'd felt in several months. "Rodolphus Lestrange just walked out of Hogwarts -for good, if the gossip from the Slytherin common room is accurate!"

"What?!" James launched out of his bed and into Sirius'.

"Apparently the Lestrange family house elf just popped into the dormitory to collect all his things," Sirius said, feeling gleeful. His tormenter was gone. Malfoy didn't like to dirty his hands, and the rest of the Slytherins were small potatoes. With Rolph gone, he could relax, ditch his protection detail, and get back to the important work of becoming half of Hogwarts top trouble-making duo. All thoughts of death eaters and blood purity took a backseat to the idea of being a regular Gryffindor student, instead of the wayward heir to House of Black.

"What about the idiot brother?" James was asking him.

Sirius shrugged. "She doesn't say, and I don't care," he told his friend. "Don't you realize what this means?"

"That the Lestranges are just as entitled as I've always heard?" James said. "I mean really, Hogwarts is the best school in all of Europe…and I should know, mother did a great deal of research to ensure I was getting the best of the best. Where else is he going to finish out and take his NEWTS? Foolish, arrogant move."

Sirius punched him in the shoulder. "Stop your whining. This means the tides just turned in our favor. The wind is in our sails. The-"

"Sirius, James?" Peter's voice came out from behind his curtains. "Why are you so loud?"

"Petey!" Sirius jumped up and ripped the curtains open. "Get up! Today's a day for celebration!" Sirius bounced back and forth on each leg with excited energy.

"But it's Sunday…" Peter grumbled. "And hardly 7 a.m. And-"

"AND RODOLPHUS LESTRANGE JUST DROPPED OUT OF HOGWARTS!" Sirius roared, grabbing Peter by the ankles and dragging him out of bed. "This calls for celebration. We need butterbeer. And chocolate frogs. And REMUS!" He dropped Peter's ankles, allowing the boy to roll away to freedom. He turned to James. "Potter, we should write Remus. Even if he can't be here, we can still give him the good news!"

"I'm sure Remus doesn't need to be bothered with this while he's at home with his sick mum," James said, shaking his head. "And isn't butterbeer a bit rich this early in the morning?"

"Why are you ruining this for me, Potter?" Sirius whined pitifully and made his best attempt at puppy-dog eyes. "It's been so long since I've had good news."

James sighed and rolled his shoulders, but then he smiled lazily, and Sirius knew he had just succeeded in getting his friend on board.

"How about pancakes instead of chocolate frogs?" James asked.

Sirius grinned. "With lemon and sugar?"

"And a full British breakfast for Petey," James said, nodding. Sirius threw a hand up and James responded with a high-five.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Let's get dressed!" Sirius began throwing things in all directions until he uncovered an only slightly wrinkled set of robes. "And maybe we can set off some fireworks later?"

"Let's just not set anyone's hair on fire again," James teased. "McGonagall is likely to skin the entirety of Gryffindor House if that happens again."

Sirius laughed. He didn't care. He was free of Rodolphus Lestrange - nothing could possibly upset him on a day like today.

And in fact, nothing did. After a perfect breakfast down at the kitchens the boys returned to find Gideon Prewett and Frank Longbottom waiting for them in the Common Room looking pleased.

"It seems there's no need for a protection detail any longer, which means we can make a trip to Hogsmeade with the rest of the upperclassmen," Gideon said, not unkindly.

"So you've heard the good news then gentlemen," Sirius called, thrusting out his chest. "Do me a favor and bring back some Ogden's firewhiskey to celebrate."

"Fat chance, kiddo," Longbottom said, shaking his head.

"How about some fizzing whizbees?" Peter asked hopefully.

The two older boys glanced at each other, then Gideon held out a hand. "I require payment up front."

Before Peter or Sirius could move, James had already pulled two Galleons out of his pocket. "And a couple of fanged frisbees, and some Dr Filibuster's Fabulous Wet-Start, No-Heat Fireworks, good sir," he said with confidence.

Gideon glanced at Frank again, shrugged and pocketed the money. "All right."

"Oh and a big chunk of Honeydukes' best chocolate!" Sirius said. "For Remus," he added when James gave him the side-eye.

"Does that complete your order?" Gideon said sarcastically. Sirius nodded vigorously and the older boy rolled his eyes but nodded. "If you get caught with the fireworks, I know nothing of how you procured them."

"A smart trickster would never betray his supplier," Sirius said with a grin. And then the older boys were off, and Sirius and James began plotting a prank.

/

Rodolphus Lestrange had left Hogwarts, and with him, Sirius' dark thoughts and poor mood. James was more relieved by all of this than he'd care to admit out loud. He had never questioned his decision to stand by his friends, and he would never hesitate to do it again in the future, but he'd realized that Rodolphus Lestrange had been out of his depth. It was not often that James Potter found himself at a loss of what to do, and, while he's sure his parents would have intervened if necessary, he'd found himself ashamed of his inadequacies, and never did write his mother or father about all the Slytherin struggles he and Sirius had endured.

It was a new concept to James, not sharing the details of his day-to-day with his mother and father. Of course he still wrote them regularly, and received ample post in response. But he felt there was more and more left unsaid in his letters as of late, and sometimes wondered if there were things left unsaid in his parents' letters as well.

It was something for him to muse upon, but not at the moment. At the moment, he was trying to come up with a new and creative use for fireworks.

"I fear fireworks are becoming predictable," James told Sirius, who was also stumped. "I mean, after hijacking Gideon's Halloween prank, and throwing them around in Potions, and that poorly executed toss into the Common Room fire…" James counted off the incidents on his fingers. "I mean, perhaps we should save the fireworks for their intended use this summer, and come up with something a bit more creative."

Sirius sighed. "I see your point." He pursed his lips and began tapping his foot, which he often did while thinking. "We need something new."

"Something that causes just enough of a disruption. What spells have we learned recently?"

"We just learned the multiplying one in Charms," Sirius suggested. "Gemino."

"Right!" James said, his mind churning. "But how to put it to use…" James was craving a simply funny prank - this was a celebration of a great win in a long war, not retaliation for some Slytherin offense. He wanted laughs and cheers, not anger or embarrassment. "Suddenly he snapped his fingers. "We fill the Great Hall!"

"Fill the Great Hall?" Peter squeaked. "Will it work that well?"

James shrugged. "I once heard the goblins at Gringotts use Gemino, combined with something much nastier, to trap would-be thieves, assuming they even made it into a vault, which of course no one ever has."

Sirius nodded knowledgeable. "Combined with the Flagrante Curse. Thieves would be burned and eventually crushed if they kept trying to move around the vault. Father had it applied to one of our vaults following the Lestrange break-in." Peter looked mildly ill. "Of course we won't use it like that Pettigrew," Sirius added. "Honestly…"

"But we could use it on something more innocuous…" James murmured. "If we use it on several objects and just let people bump into them, there will be so many hands in the pot the staff will never be able to trace it back to us."

"But what to use?" Sirius asked impatiently.

"I might have an idea…" Peter said quietly. Both James and Sirius looked at him expectantly.

"Well, out with it then Petey," Sirius urged when Peter hesitated.

"You promise not to make fun of me?" Peter asked, the question clearly directed at Sirius.

Sirius opened his mouth to protest, but James caught it and cut him off. "No one will make fun of you Petey. Now tell us what you're thinking."

"Come upstairs," the smaller boy said in his squeaky voice, taking off up the stairs to the dormitory.

Intrigued, James and Sirius followed. When he reached the room, Peter reached down under his bed and pulled out a bag. He turned it upside-down and several plastic muggle balls, larger than a Snitch but smaller than a Bludger or Quaffle, fell onto the ground.

"These are for juggling," Peter said. James raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to explain how juggling could possibly fit into their plan. "But I once had a classmate in muggle primary school who had special classes, and in one of his special classes there was a huge playpen filled with these balls, and you could just jump right in and swim around.* It looked like such fun I snuck into the room once…"

James held up a hand to stop Peter from the rambling he sensed was beginning. Peter's face fell. "I suppose it's rather stupid…"

"Stupid brilliant!" Sirius shouted, grabbing Peter by the shoulders like he often did and shaking him. "Everyone will be swimming around in balls. I love it!"

James also loved the idea. Turning the Great Hall into a massive ball pit. Who would have expected Petey of all people to come up with such a brilliant idea.

"We just need to figure out a way to stop the balls from rolling out the doorway, or we won't have enough to build up…"

"I have a few ideas on that…" Sirius said with a grin.

The boys skipped lunch that day, absorbed in perfecting the Gemino spell - which they'd only tested on very small items in class - and learning how to make a simply magical net for their ball pit prank. They wanted to get on with it right away, but at the same time, felt something so epic should be shared with Remus. But the prank gods were on their side - when the three starving Gryffindors headed down for dinner, they spotted a familiar sandy-haired head sitting at the table.

"Short visit this time, Lupin?" James asked as he sat down. He observed that his friend looked rather haggard but not as bad as on other trips.

Remus nodded. "Mother had a bit of a scare, but she bounced back very quickly this time, and insisted I get back. She hates that her illness pulls me from school so often."

James made what he hoped was a sympathetic noise, and waited precisely four seconds, which he considered a respectful amount of time, before launching into an explanation of their plan.

"Is this to celebrate Lestrange's abrupt departure?" Lupin asked. James stopped mid-sentence.

"How do you already know about that?" James asked curiously.

Lupin shrugged. "I got back rather earlier than expected, and I overheard Professor McGonagall discussing it with Professor Slughorn when I Flooed back into her office."

"So you spied by Floo?" Sirius asked. "Why, Lupin, I expected better of you, of all people," he teased.

"It was an accident," Remus said.

"What exactly did they say about it?" James asked, his excitement in the prank momentarily forgotten in favor of curiosity.

"Apparently Dumbledore asked Rodolphus to reconsider, but he said Hogwarts had nothing left to offer," Remus said.

Next to James, Sirius snorted. "He would say that. But why would Dumbledore try to keep him here? He's a menace."

"In here, he's a menace. Out there, he's just a kid running with a far more menacing crowd," James said smartly.

Sirius' face darkened, Peter looked scared, and Remus sighed. "That's about my estimation of it as well," Remus said.

"So Dumbledore was trying to protect him," Sirius said. He scrunched up his face, and James knew his friend was trying to decide whether that fact made him respect or dislike the headmaster. Eventually he shook his head, shiny hair moving in all directions. "Well, there's nothing we can do about it."

"But Sirius...when you go home-" Remus started to say, and James had to admit he'd been concerned about the same thing. But before Lupin could finish his thought, Sirius gave out a barking laugh.

"Home? Rolph won't touch me at home," he said confidently. "His parents caught him picking on Reg and me at a party once, and didn't appreciate the 'possibility of spilling one drop of pure magical blood.' Besides, he'll be too distracted by his blushing bride to do anything too nasty."

James wasn't sure he was convinced, but Sirius was back in happy mode, and he didn't want to waste it. So talk turned back to the ball prank. And what a prank it would be.

/

After a few uneasy days, Peter was starting to believe he'd won back his spot with his friends. And what a spot it was to be in, he thought smugly as he looked around the Great Hall Sunday morning, which was a colorful mess of soft plastic balls.

Sunday morning breakfast was often sparsely attended by the staff, but it had been a particular stroke of luck that only Professor Binns, Professor Kettleburn and Hagrid had been at the head table when the boys walked in. Binns and Hagrid could not reverse the charm, and Kettleburn was standing with his arms (one flesh and one wooden) crossed, looked rather amused by the chaos that was underway.

Some students were thoroughly enjoying the experience - a large group of Hufflepuffs was taking turns diving off the edge of their table into the balls, which were now multiplying as fast enough a rate that the jumper never hit the ground - several Ravenclaws were trying to breaststroke through the mess, while some fifth-year Gryffindors had conjured what

looked like muggle surf boards and were riding along on top. Even some Slytherins looked amused by the rapidly expanding ball pit.

With Remus' help, Sirius and James had come up with a way to conjure a simple silvery net that was preventing the balls from escaping into the rest of the castle. James was currently trying to juggle one of the multiplying balls - he made it to five before dropping everything. Remus was sitting in the center of the table, which was not quite yet overrun with balls, reading a book as though nothing out of the ordinary was going on, while Sirius, like the Hufflepuffs, was gleefully jumping off the table into the balls.

"What in Merlin's name-" Peter, who was standing closest to the exit, heard the familiar voice of Professor Slughorn, who, flanked by Headmaster Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall, was standing on the other side of one of the boys' silvery nets with a shocked look on his face.

McGonagall carefully prodded the silver net with her wand, and, apparently surmising how it had been conjured, quickly flicked her wrist. The net gave way and the balls began rolling out around the three adults' feet, immediately multiplying as they struck the tips of their toes.

"A modified Gemino," Dumbledore observed, bending over and picking up one of the balls and looking almost pleased as it multiplied again. "I daresay Filius' first years are coming along nicely."

McGonagall gave him what Peter would categorize as a long-suffering look and waved her wand. All the balls in her immediate vicinity stopped multiplying. A second wave and they disappeared. Then her eyes fell on Peter.

"I don't suppose you know anything about this, Mr. Pettigrew," she asked him shrewdly. Peter resisted the urge to shrink away from her gaze and shrugged.

She gave him a look as though she was rather disappointed, but quickly moved on, waving her wand as she went to cancel out the charms.

"Really, Silvanus. You were here the whole time and merely watched?"

"Lighten up Minerva," the Care of Magical Creatures professor told his colleague. "Look at the fun the kids are having.

"I daresay Silvanus has a point, Minerva,"" Dumbledore said, sweeping across the room in his starry robes. Many of the other students had not yet noticed the headmaster and deputy headmistress' arrival and were continuing their antics

Slughorn, who had remained in the doorway, took a tentative step forward and grabbed a ball with the tips of his fingers. Apparently satisfied that the object would not bite, he let out a big booming laugh.

"Impressive spellwork. Do you really believe this was the work of first-years, Dumbledore?"

Peter breathed in sharply as he watched the headmaster's gaze linger on James and Sirius, who hadn't reacted to the professors' appearance. Remus still had his neck bent and his eyes on the pages of his book, but Peter would bet a Galleon he was listening.

"Youth should never be mistaken with lack of ability. If one is ambitious enough, most anything can be accomplished."

The headmaster seemed to say this fondly, but Peter privately hoped James and Sirius didn't overhear that particular piece of wisdom – it would only mean now, with the distraction of Rodolphus Lestrange gone, the next prank would get even more out of hand.

* * *

* A/N: Upon doing research, I discovered ball pits weren't a common playscape concept until 1976. Prior to that, they were used as alternative therapy for a variety of conditions, including a way to help children with special needs. They're still used in this way today. So imagine that Peter went to a very forward-thinking muggle school.


	30. A Glimpse of the Future

Lily thought the exit of Rodolphus Lestrange would have made things easier for Severus in Slytherin house, but it seemed to be the opposite. Over the last week, while the likes of Potter and Black were even more boisterous and reckless than usual, Severus was sullen and withdrawn - even for him. He'd even skipped their weekly nighttime rendezvous, leaving Lily feeling rather foolish sitting by herself, shoeless, in a dark room in the middle of the night.

She'd planned to approach him during breakfast on Sunday, but found that impossible due to a rather elaborate prank involving a modified Gemino charm. Generally Lily liked those sort of pranks - ones that required foresight and showcased a unique use of magic - and normally such a display would have inspired Lily to work on her own spellwork. But she was too frustrated that she was cut off from speaking with Severus to really appreciate the magic behind the whole incident.

She thought she would be able to catch him Monday morning before Charms, but she found herself literally blocked by one Steven Mulciber.

"Keep it moving, Evans," he told her, his bulky frame preventing her from slipping around.

"I wasn't aware you were the hall monitor, Mulciber," she told him, unimpressed. She heard an amused snort behind her and watched the boy's expression darken.

"I'd watch yourself if I were you, Mudbl-" Before he could finish speaking, he was hit in the face by what must have been a tongue-tying hex, for he made a choking noise then scowled.

Lily glanced behind her and saw James Potter and Sirius Black, both with wands drawn. She rolled her eyes. "Was that really necessary?" Words only have power if you let them, her mother had always taught her. Lily wasn't going to be intimidated by the slur.

"It must be the blood traitor in me, but I don't appreciate such vulgarities echoing through the air," Black said.

"Someone has to keep the Slytherin scum in line," Potter added, twirling his wand in a way that Lily found infuriating. She never asked Potter or Black to come to her defense. She looked over Mulciber's shoulder for Severus, but he'd already slipped away.

"Perhaps before resorting to wands next time, you could start with your words, gentlemen. Ten points from Gryffindor." A Ravenclaw prefect whose name Lily could not remembered had appeared on the scene.

"Aww Meadowes, don't pretend you don't resolve issues with a quick swish and flick," Black said.

Typical Black, full of cheek and with no respect for authority. He was going to lose them more House points. Lily's mood was not improving.

But the prefect only looked amused. She turned to Mulciber and did flick her wand, releasing him from Black's hex. "Show's over. Get to class, everyone."

Lily sighed in defeat and turned toward the Charms classroom. But before she made it, she was joined, much to her displeasure, by James Potter.

"It seems there's much turmoil in Slytherin House at the moment, he told her with a grin. She wanted to slap it right off his face.

"And how would you know that?" She asked him.

"I come from a long line of Slytherins," Black said, appearing on her other side. "I have my sources."

"With Lucius Malfoy in control, but uninterested in the less upstanding activities of his predecessor, the underlings are fighting for the second spot," Potter said. Lily didn't understand why things were so hierarchical over in Slytherin -the Gryffindor upper years didn't bother the first years much at all.

"Friendly warning, your little Slytherin friend better play his cards right, or he'll end up in the crossfire," Black added.

Lily scoffed. "If there's one thing Severus knows well, it's how to play his cards," she told them boldly.

Potter chuckled. "Well it's a shame that those cards seem to involve ignoring you."

Lily felt her temper rising up from her belly and into her chest. "What are you talking about?"

"He missed your little meeting the other night, didn't he?" Black asked.

Lily tried not to let the surprise show in her face. How did they know that? "My affairs are none of your business," she snapped at them. But how did they _know_ that? She wondered again. She thought her meetings with Severus were a secret - and while she'd seen Potter and Black skulking around the Common Room at off hours, she didn't realize they'd ever seen, let alone followed her.

"Evans, we're just trying to make you realize who your real friends are," Potter said.

Lily resisted the urge to go for her wand. "Are you seriously suggesting that you two are better friends to me than Severus?" she asked through gritted teeth.

"We're certainly higher quality stock," Black said.

Lily had heard enough. "Severus is worth five of you, Black," she spat. "And ten of you, Potter," she added uncharitably. "You two continue on with your arrogant assumptions about other people, but keep me out of it. I don't need friends like you." With that, she stomped into Charms and took a seat next to Mary, who patted her on the back in sympathy.

James Potter and Sirius Black. Every time she started to think better of them, they went ahead with something like that. How could she be friends with people who were constantly ragging on her other, older friend?

But, though she would never admit it, their comments had cut deep. Was cutting her out Severus's solution to all the drama plaguing Slytherin house? They'd been friends for years - surely their relationship was worth more to him than the casual acquaintance of those boys.

If it wasn't, she wasn't sure what the future of their friendship looked like.

/

"I'm guessing that didn't go as you'd planned," Peter said to James as Lily stormed off.

"That's because it was an entirely idiotic plan in the first place," Remus said. "Stalking after Lily under the invisibility cloak was poor enough judgment."

"You followed her under the invisibility cloak?" Peter asked. Of course, he knew James and Sirius were frequently off on activities they did not share with him, but he was still surprised, and rather disappointed, to learn that, as usual, Remus was informed and he was not.

"That fiery redhead happened to come down into the Common Room right as we were about to sneak off last Wednesday," Sirius said calmly.

"It only made sense that we follow, to look out for her well-being, of course," James added.

"To spy," Remus said, frowning at them.

"But how did you know Lily was trying to meet Snape?" Peter asked, but before he got his answer, Flitwick walked in and Remus shot the other three a look that shut them all up.

Peter tried to focus on what Professor Flitwick was saying - he really did - but found him attention drifting. And when he lost interest, he did what he always did - he observed the rest of the students.

Sirius was napping, as he often did in class. Despite his lazy classroom demeanor, Sirius always took home good marks, which frustrated Peter to no end.

James, who showed more interest than Sirius but was prone to fits of mischief, seemed to be daydreaming - resting his elbows on the desk and his chin in his fists. He seemed to be staring off in the direction of Lily Evans, which hardly surprised Peter, given their run-in earlier.

Lily sat a few rows in front of the boys' usual location, and Peter could only see the side of her face. Despite that, he thought she seemed upset. There was a tension in her jaw, and she wasn't taking notes. Peter wondered if she was bothered by the situation with Snape, the incident with Mulciber or with constant attentions of James and Sirius.

Peter was very observant but rarely knew what to do with the information he collected. Not like Remus, who was ever observant and always used the information to make a plan, or anticipate a problem. In fact, Remus had become quite adept at predicting the Slytherins' next moves, thus helping he and Peter avoid and confrontations. Of course, James and Sirius tended to ignore Remus' information, or use it to muster an attack of their own, but such is life.

"It's not unlike how you strategize in chess," Remus had told him the other day when Peter had asked about it. "You observe as much as you can, and try to predict your opponent's next move, while at the same time thinking about your own pieces and what moves you can make to avoid defeat."

But life didn't seem anything like chess to Peter. When he played chess, he was in charge, he held the power. Without him, his pieces wouldn't survive. In life, he was useless.

He'd said as much to Remus, who'd just scoffed.

"You just lack confidence in your own abilities," He'd said. "You're capable of more than you realize."

It was funny to get a lecture in confidence from Remus, who still failed to speak up in class. That particular day they were beginning exam review, and though Peter knew for a fact that Remus had mastered locking and unlocking charms long ago, he wasn't raising a hand to offer Flitwick an answer.

Charms ended uneventfully and as the boys trudged along to Transfiguration, Peter could tell James was bothered.

"I don't think Evans understood our message at all," he said to Sirius. "I don't think she appreciated the warning we were trying to give."

"I guarantee that's because of your delivery," Remus told them.

"You didn't even hear what we said!" Sirius said in mock indignation.

"I didn't need to," Remus said. "I'm sure you once again came off as condescending and rude."

"You think we're condescending and rude?" James asked, looking genuinely indignant.

"Of course not," Remus said. "But I do think that, sometimes, you perhaps come off that way to those who don't know you well."

Peter sucked in a breath, stealing a glance at Sirius. He didn't always take well to criticism, and often snapped if Peter tried to make such observations.

But of course, because it came from Remus and not Peter, Sirius just shrugged and James sighed. "I suppose you have a point, Lupin." James said.

"Chin up, Potter, we'll clarify things with Evans in the Common Room tonight," Sirius said.

But the boys never got the chance - Lily was pulled from class halfway through Herbology by a grave-looking Professor McGonagall. She didn't return for dinner and was nowhere to be found in the Common Room that evening.

"Petey, go ask Mary what's going on with Evans," James had ordered when the redhead still hadn't returned by 9 p.m.

"Why me?"

"Because she likes you, you berk," Sirius had told him. "She's more likely to tell you than one of us."

"I don't think you should bother Mary," Remus interjected. "Students only get pulled from class like that when it's bad news. You should respect Lily's privacy, James."

Peter realized immediately that Remus was right - a student being pulled from class like that and failing to return could only mean a family emergency of some sort. He felt a sort of gloom move over him. He hoped whatever Lily's emergency was had a happy ending - she was sometimes harsh with James and Sirius, and a bit nosey and meddling, but Peter was beginning to learn she had good intentions.

James, of course, ignored Remus and went over to ask Mary if she knew anything himself. Alas, it seemed no one had news. Peter feared that in this case, no news was not good news.

He was proven right the next day when Professor McGonagall gathered the first years in the Common Room after supper.

"I have some unfortunate news to share about your classmate's family," she began. "Lily Evans' father was killed in a muggle motorcar accident yesterday afternoon."

There was a collective gasp of dismay. Peter felt cold. It was one thing to lose a father you couldn't even remember. What was it like to lose one you had known, and presumably loved, for 12 years?

"Miss Evans has given me permission to share this news with you, so that you might not worry over her absence," McGonagall continued. "I expect that you all will treat her grief with the appropriate respect. For those who wish to express condolences, please bring any letters and gifts for me to see to rather than sending them via owl post - the Evans live in a muggle neighborhood and an influx of owls might raise questions."

"A motorcar crash," Sirius said in a quiet voice after McGonagall had left them. "I don't understand. Aren't there rules of the road? Safety precautions?"

"Of course there are. But things can still go wrong," Remus said sadly. "It's not uncommon for Muggles to die in car crashes, actually."

Sirius wrinkled his nose and looked upset. "It doesn't seem right that we can't just share Floo powder or portkeys with them if Muggle transportation is so unsafe. Does your mother use a motorcar, Remus?"

Remus nodded and began explaining to a distressed Sirius how the vehicles worked and what rules of the road were in place to keep drivers safe."

Peter turned to James, who was unusually quiet. "I think I'm going to send Lily a card," he told James.

"That's a good idea, Petey," James told him. "I think I will too. But there's something I have to do first."

Peter wasn't sure what could be so urgent as he watched James leave the Common Room, but it didn't seem right to ask. Instead, he headed upstairs to write Lily a long note.

/

James didn't know much about muggle post, but he imagined it couldn't be as fast as owl post. Which meant it stood to reason that even if Lily had found time to write her friends letters about what happened, they hadn't reached anyone yet, if it could even reach Hogwarts. And as Muggle fellytones, as James understood it, needed one on the other end to send a message, that method of communication wouldn't work at Hogwarts.

Which meant, if James' educated guess was correct, that Severus Snape had no idea Lily Evans' father passed away.

James disliked Severus Snape. Intensely. But he liked Lily Evans, as much as she confused and infuriated him. And, though James couldn't possibly understand why, he had a feeling that Lily Evans would want to hear from Severus Snape at a time like this.

Which was why he found himself standing outside the Slytherin Common Room, a makeshift white flag in his hand, waiting for someone to come out so he could deliver the news. He only hoped that whoever came out of the Common Room was amenable to helping him.

He was lucky. A sixth-year girl he did not recognize came out, and while she looked confused to find a Gryffindor first-year waiting at her Common Room entrance, she was polite enough to fetch Snape for him.

"What do you want, Potter?" the boy snapped as he stepped out, wand at the ready. He had come alone. James wasn't sure if that was because he was curious, or just had no friends to tag along with him.

James waved the flag in his hand. "I come in peace, on behalf of a mutual friend," he said.

"We have no mutual friends," Snape retorted.

James rolled his eyes. "Fine. A mutual acquaintance," he said, thinking of how angry Lily had been with him the day before and growing irritated.

Snape didn't lower his wand, but he did tilt his head and wait expectantly.

"Lily Evan's father died in a motorcar crash yesterday," James said, deciding it was best to get right to the point.

Snape didn't speak for a moment, but his lip twitched, so James knew he'd heard him.

"McGonagall told the Gryffindor first years after dinner," he went on, "but I wasn't sure if she'd told anyone else."

Snape was quiet for a moment. "Why are you telling me?" He finally asked, lowering his wand.

James shrugged. "I just thought she'd want you to know." With that, he turned to go. He knew it was too much to expect a thank you from Severus Snape. But as soon as he'd heard the news all he could picture was Lily Evans, sitting in a muggle house, with only grieving relatives for company. If, Merlin forbid, his father died, he knew he'd want to hear from his friends. And, though he might not like it, Severus Snape was Lily's good friend. He knew he'd done the right thing.

"That was big of you." James jumped as a voice spoke to him as he rounded a corner.

"Black?"

Sirius' head appeared, floating in mid-air. He'd nicked the invisibility cloak.

"What are you doing here?" James asked, equal parts amused and annoyed.

"Petey said you'd wandered off without explanation, so I came to offer you backup if you needed it," Sirius said, as if this were perfectly obvious.

"I hardly need a nanny, Black," James said.

Sirius scoffed. "I'm hardly that responsible," he responded. "I do have to wonder - why are you helping Snivellus and Evans make up?"

James sighed. "Her father just died, Black. It's no time for that fair-weather friend of hers to fail her. I just gave him the information he needed to do right by her."

Sirius nodded, looking impressed. "You're a better man than I am, Potter," he told him. "It wouldn't have crossed my mind to come down here and deliver that news. Course, can't say I've been spending as much time as you have thinking about Lily Evans and her feelings." He waggled his eyebrows.

James felt his cheeks go red, an unusual body function for him. "Save it," he said, taking a swing. Sirius danced out of the way and laughed.

Sirius teased him all the way back to Gryffindor Tower, but James managed to maintain composure when they walked through the portrait hole, and Sirius had enough loyalty to hush up where other people could hear.

News of Mr. Evans death had spread rapidly through the house, and the Common Room seemed quieter than usual.

James found himself thinking of his own parents. They were older than the average parents of a 12-year-old boy - he knew this. He wondered what it would feel like to lose one of them. The thought made his blood feel icy, and yet he knew that wasn't anything compared to what Lily must be feeling.

He wanted to do something for her, but he wasn't sure what to send. Flowers? That seemed impersonal. Chocolates? That seemed inappropriate, somehow.

He tried to remember what his mother did when people died. If she was there in person, she made tea and offered comforting words.

Well, James wasn't sure how to offer comforting words, but he set out to order the best tea box money could buy.

The boys spent the rest of the night playing half-hearted games of Gobstones, working on homework and brainstorming ideas on what to send Lily to improve her spirits.

When James settled into bed that night, he was not at all surprised when ten minutes later Sirius shoved his curtain aside and crawled in next to him.

"What do you suppose it's like, losing a parent?" He asked as he stole a pillow from under James' head. "I mean, I know someday they'll get old and die, but that's the natural way of things. I mean, what do you think it's like, having it come as a shock like that, so young?"

"I reckon it's pretty awful," James said, scooting over to make room.

Sirius was quiet for a while. Then he lit his wand. "Potter?"

"What?"

"I think I'm a terrible person."

"And why's that?" James asked, turning to face his friend.

"I'm not sure you'd understand. Your life is too perfect."

James wrinkled his forehead. Sometimes Sirius started conversations, only to get evasive. He wasn't having it. "Then why'd you say it? Go on, spit it out."

Sirius sighed and James felt him squirming next to him.

"I'm not sure I'd be bothered."

"Bothered by what?"

Ten seconds passed before Sirius responded. "Bothered by my parents being gone."

"Huh." James wasn't sure what to say to that. He would certainly be greatly bothered - devastated in fact - if something happened to his parents. He always assumed that was the way things should be - that one should love their parents, and grieve their passing. But his instinct was not to berate Sirius for what he'd just admitted. He could tell his friend was admitting something to him that was shameful, and that this was a serious moment. Death had a way of bringing up serious conversations.

"Black," James began, sitting up and crossing his legs. "Is there anything you want to, I don't know, tell me about what goes on at home? Is it really so wretched?"

"No. Yes. Sometimes. I don't know." Sirius' response came out garbled and rushed. "I'm not saying I _want_ anyone dead or anything. I'm just saying I think things are better when my parents aren't around. Like when I'm here, and they can't get to me, life is just better. So I don't know if I'd miss them if they were gone. Is that crazy?"

James scoffed. "There's a difference between them being away from you and being gone forever. I think you're just confused about what you'd feel. It's probably best not to speculate about such issues."

"But you'd miss your parents," Sirius countered.

"I miss my mother every day," James admitted quietly.

"See? I'm a horrible, heartless person." Sirius waved his wand and began scratching his neck, something James had noticed him do when he was stressed. "Maybe I'm more like them then I like to admit."

"You're a dramatic thing, that's for sure," James teased him. "But heartless, I don't think so. I mean, if you were heartless, why would you be worried at all about how you might feel if your parents were gone?"

"Oh?"

"Yes. In fact, I think you're the opposite of heartless. I think you feel everything so strongly, you don't know what to do with all those feelings. Which is one of the many reasons why you clash with your parents, who are the old-school type who think emotions are meant to be held in except in private. Am I right?"

The other boy snorted. "Yeah, you could say my parents are pretty old school. Dark Ages old school."

"You're worrying too much," James told him. "I'm sure you'd miss your parents if they were gone. But let's not think about it anymore - too unpleasant. Plus, it seems a little rude to Lily."

"I would never say something like that to Evans!" Sirius exclaimed. "What kind of person do you think I am?"

"See? Not heartless." James grinned as his friend in the shadowy light.

He earned a laugh, and he could see Sirius' shoulders relax.

"You really don't think I'm horrible?"

"Mate, I know you're a good person. But maybe...don't repeat what you said about your parents to other people. Especially Petey. They might misunderstand you."

"Fair."

James stretched. "Now, if that's all, can we try to get some shut-eye here? Your neediness is cutting into my beauty sleep."

Sirius smacked him with a pillow. "You need more than beauty sleep with that face."

James laughed. The solemn moment had passed. But as he curled up in his bed - shoved to one side thanks to Sirius, who didn't bother to return to his own - he wondered what could possibly make a person so averse to their own parents.

He'd seen how loyal Sirius was to him and the other boys. He knew, he just knew Sirius was a good person.

But then came that nagging question, the one that had been popping up time and again as he learned more about his friend, if his friend was a good person, and struggled so much with his family, then what kind of people were the Blacks?

/

Remus knew it was common practice to send along condolences when someone died, but growing up as isolated as he did, he'd never actually had to do it before. After fretting over what would be most appropriate, he finally settled on his usual solution in life - a good book.

He didn't have the funds to purchase something new, so he decided to pass along a well-loved copy of The Canterbury Tales, hoping Lily hadn't already read them in muggle primary school.

He wasn't sure if he and Lily were truly friends or just friendly acquaintances, but she was certainly the kind of person he would like to be friends with, so he thought reaching out was a good way to express that.

Then, though Remus tried to be as attentive to those around him as possible, he let himself be distracted from Lily's troubles by his own.

Sirius had sent away from a Sneakoscope to send to Lily - why, Remus wasn't entirely sure. But as soon as it arrived - late to the dormitory by owl post Thursday night - and Sirius unpacked it, it began spinning and ringing shrilly.

"I think that thing's defective, Black," James said, poking it with his wand. It hissed.

"Tosh. I bought the highest quality from the Flounce and Flores mail-order catalog," Sirius said, squinting at the multi-colored glass. "They're meant to warn against deception. It must mean someone nearby isn't trustworthy." The boy gave each of his three friends a pointed look.

Remus sucked in a breath and schooled his shoulders out of a raised, tense position. It would be a clear giveaway if he behaved strangely at this moment.

"How wide-range is it?" James asked. "In a place like Hogwarts, I can't imagine it being all that effective. Everywhere you look there's a student lying about how their cat ate their homework or plotting ways to cheat their way through McGonagall's pop quizzes."

"That's ridiculous," Peter said. "No one ever cheats through McGonagall's quizzes undetected."

"I think the point James is trying to make is that a castle full of young people in close quarters might not be the place a tool like a Sneakoscope is most effective," Remus said quickly, relieved at how easily a way out of the situation appeared before him.

"Probably true," Sirius said with a shrug. He grabbed the wrappings and shoved it back inside, muffling the noise. "But it will still be useful to Evans at home."

"Do you think it's safe to send that thing through muggle post?" Peter asked. "What if the muggles hear it?"

"I've already thought about that, actually," Sirius said with a grin. "McGonagall is worried an influx of owls will draw attention. But do you know what birds muggles use to send messages?"

"Pigeons," Remus responded. "Carrier pigeons were popular during World War I and II." Remus knew that from the muggle history lessons his mother used to provide him. "Where did you find that out?"

"Nicked a fourth-year muggle studies book," Sirius said. "Pigeons are a normal thing to see around Britain. So I figure all I need is a carrier pigeon."

Remus sighed and shook his head, but he was actually thrilled. Searching for a carrier pigeon would undoubtedly eat up Sirius and James' time and curiosity, making the Sneakoscope problem disappear entirely. "Where do you expect to find a carrier pigeon?" He asked, careful to make his tone sound exasperated rather than elated.

"We'll start with the Owlery, of course," Sirius said as if this were obvious. "Perhaps there are some pigeons that like to roost up there."

"Don't be ridiculous," James said with a scoff. "Owls eat pigeons."

"Do they really?" Peter asked, looking alarmed.

"Our owl at home prefers mice, but has been known to snatch a pigeon or robin if it's feeling frisky," James said. He stood up and moved closer to Peter. "Sometimes, the smaller birds fight back, and the feathers go everywhere. But our Artemis always. Makes. Her. Kill." He grabbed Peter by the shoulders, making the smaller boy jump.

"Your family's owl is named Artemis? Honestly?" Sirius laughed.

"Artemis is a glorious creature with a godly name to match," James retorted.

"Only larger owls eat pigeons, Peter," Remus said.

"Can't we get back to the matter at hand?" Sirius asked. "I need a carrier pigeon or Evans won't get her gift, and she may need it."

Remus wasn't entirely sure why Sirius was so convinced a Sneakoscope would be helpful, but he thought it best not to question Sirius when he was so enthusiastic. Which was how he found himself wandering up to the North Tower with Peter later that night.

"Even if we find a pigeon, how will we know if it's a carrier pigeon?" Peter grumbled as they began climbing a ladder that had appeared. The boys were so used to the eccentricities of Hogwarts at this point that it never occurred to them not to climb the mysterious ladder.

"I doubt there are any carrier pigeons at Hogwarts," Remus said. "Someone would need to train them, after all, and what witch or wizard would waste their time when owls are the preferred method?"

"Then why are we doing this?" Peter huffed.

"It's a good distraction for James and Sirius," Remus told him, thinking of the Sneakoscope. "Those two need to constantly exercise their minds and their bodies or they'll get themselves - and us - in more trouble," he added hastily.

Peter didn't notice that the follow-up was rushed. "I suppose that makes sense," he said. "But as they're not here, why are we running around and climbing up ladders that lead to Merlin-knows-where."

"Curiosity," Remus answered. "I still don't know much about this part of the castle. I wish they gave first years maps." It was not the first time he'd thought this. He particularly wished for a map on the days leading up to the full moon, when he was tired and forgetful and sometimes missed turns or forgot about the vanishing steps. He reached the top and tentatively pushed on what appeared to be a trap door. It opened easily and he climbed the rest of the way up, then turned around to help Peter.

"It looks like a lounge area," Peter observed. The room they'd stumbled upon was full of squishy armchairs and couches with tables in between.

"I think it's the Divination classroom," Remus said, noticing a crystal ball in the back. "I'm surprised it's open like this."

"I like to leave my door open for those who may need it," a voice said. Remus jumped and Peter squealed.

Remus turned and saw a woman, simply dressed in soft gray robes, that he recalled seeing in the Great Hall for meals on occasion but whose name escaped him. She was old and wore her hair in a long braid, a basic black witch's hat atop her head.

"I am so sorry, Professor," he said quickly. "We didn't mean to disturb you."

"On the contrary, Remus Lupin, I was expecting you," the woman said. She smiled.

"Errr...right," Remus said, a bit at a loss for words. He still sometimes struggled with awkwardness during social interactions - especially with magical adults, who he always half-expected to recoil in disgust. But he wasn't at St. Mungo's - he was at Hogwarts, where the adults were kinder and few even knew of his affliction. While he faltered, Peter was trying to hide behind him.

"Now don't be shy, Peter Pettigrew," the woman said. "I'm Professor Cadance."

"How does she know our names?" Peter whispered.

It was a Divination classroom. It stood to reason the subject would be taught by someone who was a master of the subject. "Maybe she's a Seer," Remus whispered back. "Maybe she foresaw our coming here?" He said that louder, posing the question to the woman, who appeared to be waiting patiently while they composed themselves. Remus wondered uncomfortably what else the professor may have foreseen.

"Actually, I simply know your names because the deputy headmistress has warned all the staff to keep an eye on James Potter and Sirius Black," she told them. "And I have a charm set to go off when students come to the tower during off hours - my office and sleeping quarters are also up here."

"Oh." The whole situation suddenly seemed a bit absurd, and Remus started laughing. The professor responded with an indulgent smile.

"I'm sorry dears, but I do have to have a little fun here and there," she told them. "It's a bit lonely after hours in this part of the castle. So, what does bring you here?"

"A carrier pigeon," Peter told her.

"Come again?" She asked, looking to Remus.

Feeling that this woman might appreciate the humor in the situation, Remus launched into an explanation about Lily and Sirius and the Sneakoscope and the quest for a carrier pigeon. When he finished, she nodded thoughtfully.

"A carrier pigeon," she mused. "What a unique idea."

"Sirius has taken an early interest in muggle studies," Remus told her, trying not to chuckle.

"Do you know where we might find one?" Peter asked eagerly.

She shook her head. "Perhaps you should consult with Hagrid the gamekeeper. He has a special way with creatures - maybe even pigeons."

Remus hadn't considered Hagrid as a possible source of help, but it did make sense. There was still an hour until curfew so if they hurried, they would be able to make the trip.

"We'll try that, thank you," he said. The witch smiled at him yet again, and he was struck by how kind of a face she had.

Peter was already scooting down the ladder, but as Remus turned, the professor grabbed him lightly on the shoulder.

"I don't mean to frighten you, dear, but I feel I should warn you that I do see a lot of things in my crystal ball."

"What kind of things?" He asked.

"Mostly things I can't make heads or tails of, to be honest," she said. "But also things I always struggle with - things I'm never sure if I should tell, or keep to myself. Sometimes knowing the future is a dangerous thing."

"Well, if you were given a talent, I think you're meant to use it," Remus said quietly. He could guess where the conversation was going. If she saw things, she probably saw the wolf. "What do you see about me?"

She sighed and released his shoulder. "Great suffering, my dear. Great suffering, at the hands of your little friend." She pointed to the trapdoor, where Peter's head had just disappeared.

Remus swallowed. That wasn't what he had expected. "What kind of suffering?" He asked, his voice now barely a whisper.

She shook her head. "That, I cannot be entirely sure. Nor can I be sure when this may happen, or how it will end. But I warn you - there are things even more dangerous than the moon."

Remus sucked in a breath. "So you see-"

She cut him off with a wave. "Don't fret about that. I'll not tell a soul. After all, I see nothing that suggests that you're a threat to anyone." She smiled once again and patted him on the head. "Now run along and stop listening to the ramblings of an old Seer."

He turned to go, but then he turned back. He was touched by the way she'd spoken to him just now - like a child, not a monster. "Do you think, maybe, I could come visit again sometime?"

She nodded. "I would enjoy that very much."

He nodded back.

"Remus! Are you coming?" Peter called from below.

"Yes, right behind you!" Remus called back. He gave Professor Cadance a little wave then slipped down the ladder.

As he walked behind Peter toward Hagrid's, he couldn't help but wonder what kind of great suffering Peter could possibly cause. Peter was his friend. At least, now he was. Would Peter be the first to discover his secret? Expose him to the rest of the students?

Remus thought again of the Sneakoscope, tucked away but surely it would still be spinning when he approached it.

The creeping panic he used to feel at the beginning of the year crashed back down on him, stronger than ever. Everything could fall apart so easily.

He stared at Peter's retreating back. Was he really his friend? Who would want to be friends with a werewolf, after all? Peter would be too afraid when he discovered the truth - it was simply his nature. He thought of James and Sirius and Lily. Lily might forgive it - she was muggleborn after all. But was she really even his friend, or just an acquaintance? James and Sirius, those proud pureblood boys would surely have heard the stories of werewolves who live like animals, wearing nothing but rags and begging to get by between full moons - the one night of the month where they ate their fill, unconcerned with the human world around them.

Remus sighed. His world was dark again. He supposed it always was, he'd just had the light of friendship to brighten it up. But that flame would go out someday.

And, if Professor Cadance was right, it would be at the hands of Peter Pettigrew.

/

After scouring the castle for hours and Remus consulting Hagrid for help, Sirius still couldn't find a carrier pigeon, and went to Professor McGonagall after class the next day defeated, hoping she had a solution to the whirring of the Sneakoscope.

In the end, despite the mocking of his friends, his carrier pigeon plan earned him praise from his head of house.

"A thoughtful and creative idea to the problem, Mr. Black," she told him when he handed over the wrapped object. "Of course, I could simply put a silencing charm on it, but then Miss Evans would have no way to reverse it until she returned to school."

"That's why I thought the pigeon was a good idea," Sirius said, his hands shoved in his pockets. "But I couldn't find a pigeon."

"This is a good learning opportunity then, Mr. Black," the witch said. "Now tell me, what is the Owlery full of?"

Sirius stared at his professor for a moment. "Owls, of course…" he answered.

"Indeed. Owls, which are trained just like your muggle carrier pigeon might be."

"But you told us not to use owls because that may be suspicious," he said impatiently. "Unless…." He grinned when it dawned on him. "You transfigure an owl into a pigeon!"

She nodded. "Precisely, Mr. Black. Now, this is only a practical solution on a small scale. I still believe if a flock of pigeons descended upon the Evans household it may raise some eyebrows, and it would take time to transfigure a large number of owls into pigeons, and then back again once the birds returned. But I don't see the harm in just one."

"Can I try it?" Sirius asked eagerly. They had yet to do living transfigurations on anything larger than a mouse.

"I think it would be best if I conducted the spellwork," she told him. "But five points to Gryffindor for ingenuity, Mr. Black. It's not the average pureblood boy who thinks to look to muggle practices for a solution to a problem."

Sirius left her office feeling very good - he certainly didn't want to be the average purebloods that he knew, and it was nice to hear that someone had noticed he was different.

When he returned James and Peter were gone and Remus was lounging on a couch in the Common Room with a book.

"Where are Potter and Petey?" Sirius asked, moving Remus' feet without asking and taking a seat.

"James agreed to help Peter with his Transfiguration homework. I think they went to the library."

"Tsch. That Petey. Always so behind the curve," Sirius said.

"Not everyone had the benefit of expensive tutors during their formative years," Remus said without looking up from his book.

"Benefit? Or torture?" Sirius asked, ignoring the subtle reprimand in Remus' tone. "Lupin, I'm bored. Entertain me."

Remus sighed. "Can't you sit still for a few minutes? Read a good book? Draw me a map of Hogwarts?"

"What was that last one?" Sirius asked, his interest piqued.

Remus finally put aside the book. "Actually, that would be a great project - a map of Hogwarts. We wouldn't be able to account for the moving staircases of course, but even a rough map would be useful."

Sirius tapped his finger to his chin thoughtfully. "A map. It could be a strategic advantage against the Slytherins…"

"Or, a more positive spin, a good excuse to explore?" Remus tried. Sirius laughed.

"Ok Lupin. I'm intrigued. Let me grab my sketchpad."

When James and Peter returned an hour later, Remus and Sirius had already managed to map out the part of the first floor of the castle and most of Gryffindor tower.

"More artwork?" James asked, peering over Sirius' shoulder.

"It's a map!" Sirius exclaimed gleefully. "Imagine the things we could do if we had a full castle map at our disposal. There are all kinds of hidden passageways - you know that. I bet there are even some the teachers don't know about." As he and Remus had started the sketch, Sirius' imagination had run away with the possibilities. "We could pass it down to posterity, ensuring a new generation of troublemakers when we leave!"

"It could be a strategic advantage against the Slytherins," James said thoughtfully.

"That's what I said!" Sirius cried as Remus groaned.

"But how will you account for the moving staircases?" Peter asked. "I'm always running late to class because of those."

"We haven't worked that part out yet," Sirius admitted. "But a simple map is better than no map."

"This is a huge undertaking. It could take years to finish," Remus said. He looked excited. Sirius loved when Lupin got passionate about a project - it always made things go smoother than it would when it was just him and James.

"I know how to make drawings move. We would just have to figure out a way to link the drawing on the paper to the actual castle," Sirius said.

"Oh, well, that sounds simple. We just need to figure out the intricacies of a castle built with ancient magic and then link it to our parchment. Why didn't you just say so?" Peter said sarcastically.

"Someone is still struggling to understand the Transfiguration homework," James said in a stage whisper. "He'll a wee bit grumpy."

Sirius stood up and stretched. "I know a cure for that." He ruffled Peter's hair while the smaller boy tried to swat him away.

"What's that?" James asked.

"A trip to the kitchens of course. Lupin, come along, we'll work on filling out that section of the map. Petey, Potter - put your feet up. We'll be back before you know it."

"Don't you want this?" James pulled the invisibility cloak from his pocket as Remus began carefully packing up their parchment and quills and closing up the sketchbook.

"You're carrying that around with you? Don't you usually leave it in your trunk under your bed?" Sirius asked.

"Not since I noticed one of my roommates has sticky fingers," James said pointedly, handing the carefully folded garment into Sirius' hand. "Do make sure you return it when you're done?"

"Yes, yes," Sirius said lightly, knowing Potter wasn't really that concerned about it. "Hurry up Lupin - we don't want to make the house elves work too late."

The sandy-haired boy chuckled and followed Sirius as he bounded out the portrait hole. Sirius was feeling light on his feet and unusually happy for having spent the evening in the Common Room. Their little map project somehow felt like something bigger - like a new adventure waiting to happen.


	31. Laughter and Exams

A difficult few weeks for Lily were punctuated by a seemingly endless stream of thoughtful gifts from her friends and housemates.

From Mary, she received a beautiful floral arrangement and a heartfelt letter. Several days later it was followed up with a lovely donation to the scholarship fund Lily's mother had set up in memory of her father. Mary was muggleborn and must have asked her parents to look out for the obituary in the paper.

From Eliza, a large box of chocolates, and a note that sometimes something sweet can improve a bitter situation.

From Remus Lupin, a copy of Canterbury Tales, and a note that when he was sad, he liked to distract himself with a good book. There was something about his gift that felt very personal to Lily, and she was comforted by the fact that the friendship she was trying to create with him wasn't only in her head.

From Peter Pettigrew, which came as a surprise, a hand-drawn card and a long note expressing his deepest sympathies - he himself had lost his father at a young age.

She even received a hand-carved tea box from James Potter with a hastily scribbled note "Tea makes everything better."

She also received a rather strange gift from Sirius Black - a pocket-sized object called a Sneakoscope. "To monitor any greedy relatives while you divide assets," his note, which had been delivered by carrier pigeon, had read. Lily couldn't help but wonder what things were like at House of Black, but in his own way, Black had been thoughtful. In fact, as irritated as she had been with Black and Potter, after losing her father it seemed petty and ungrateful to reject the offer of friendship from anyone, even the clumsy, misguided attempts the boys kept making. She resolved to be more patient and try harder to mediate between them and Severus.

Of course, all those gifts were helpful in getting through the hell of her father's death, but the thing that meant most was a letter she received from Severus.

" _Dearest Lily,"_ the letter read. _"I suppose I haven't been a very good friend in the last week. For that, I owe you an apology. But that's not why I'm writing. I've learned, through a mutual acquaintance, that your father passed away. Lily, I am so incredibly sorry. Your father was always kind to me, the dirty little boy from across the tracks. I will always remember how he smiled at me when I came to your house, despite the fact that no father could have possibly wanted his little girl hanging around with the peculiar little street rat that I appeared to be - and no, don't try to argue otherwise - you know how I appear to the muggles. But your father always welcomed me into his home and offered me biscuits and milk. He was a far better father than my own. They say you should try to remember the good times, and I'm sure your happy memories of your father will help you through this difficult time. I miss you and hope to see you back at school soon.-Sev."_

Her friend's words were a great deal of comfort, and she reread the letter often in those two weeks.

But finally, the funeral was over, the relatives had gone, and her mother found the strength to send her two girls back to school. Lily was ashamed to realize she was happy to go - she had sought out Petunia when she first arrived, imagining that the tension at Christmas and Easter would dissipate in the face of tragedy, only to find the intimacy they once had was gone. Though her sister was not exactly rude, and did not exactly ignore her, Lily found little solace in the person she'd once looked to for everything.

Because Lily's home was not hooked up by Floo, Professor McGonagall came in person to collect her. Lily had been too distraught when she first made the journey home to observe much of the journey, but this time, she was acutely aware of the way her stomach flipped during Apparition, and she decided she didn't much like it, though she acknowledged its convenience.

Because you couldn't apparate on the Hogwarts grounds, they arrived in Hogsmeade and walked the rest of the way to the castle. The Wizarding village was full of fascinating store-fronts, and Lily was a little sad to have to leave without exploring. She knew students weren't allowed until third year. She wondered if there was any way around that.

When she reached Gryffindor Tower she was greeted by her dormmates with hugs and condolences and sweets. They'd all taken turns taking notes for her, and handed her a detailed stack of everything she could possibly need to know about what happened in the last two weeks.

"Including a few pages worth of my notes on the latest gossip so you don't fall behind socially as well," Eliza told her with a wink.

Lily was touched by all the work they'd done, and she told them so, which led to a chorus of "Of course!" and "You'd do the same for us!" and another round of teary hugs.

Part of her wanted to stay hidden in the dormitory just a little longer, with her emotions still running high, but another part of her was eager to get things as back to normal as possible. Her heart still ached every time she thought about her father, but she knew he wouldn't have wanted her to break down and hide herself away.

With her large pile of notes in hand and Mary and Eliza on either side of her, she steeled herself then walked down the stairs to the Common Room.

She was able to make it to a table before she was noticed. Of course, it was James Potter who got to her first.

"Evans! We've missed you!" He told her. "How are you? Do you need anything? A good cup of tea? A footrest? Perhaps a nice hot water bottle?"

Lily turned to Mary, who shrugged. She wasn't sure what to make of this weirdly considerate James, but before she could answer, his partner in crime appeared on the scene.

"What she probably needs is some peace and quiet to go over that mountain of notes," Black told his friend. He turned to Lily and smiled. "Glad to have you back, Evans. Did the Sneakoscope come in handy? My grandfather was always griping about how he could have used one when my great uncle died. The whole inheritance fiasco of 1961, they call it. Of course, I'm too young to remember but -"

"Lily, are these two driving you mad already?" Remus asked as he appeared and whacked Black gently over the head with a roll of parchment. "Aren't you the one who just said she needs peace and quiet, Sirius?"

"We're just greeting her and expressing our joy that she's returned!" James said. "That's what people do when someone's been gone. It's only polite."

"Greeting is fine. You don't need to accost her," Remus scolded.

"It's ok," she said, allowing herself a small giggle at the spectacle. Potter and Black did have a way of making you feel at ease. "Thank you for the book, Remus. You were right - it was a very helpful distraction."

He smiled. "I'm glad."

"Lily! You're back!" Peter had made his way over as well.

"Yes, I am," she told him. "Thank you for the note. I hope it wasn't too difficult to tell me that. It made everything easier to bear knowing that life can go on."

James and Sirius shot each other confused looks while Peter nodded. "I hoped it might be helpful. My mother says things are never the same, but they do get easier."

"I hope so," she said, blinking back her tears. She was through crying - what she needed was a good pick-me-up. She turned to Sirius, a silly idea coming to her, and it involved teasing Potter the way he was always teasing everyone else. "And Black, you should have seen my mother's face when your gift came in on a carrier pigeon! She was so shocked she laughed! It was wonderful to hear at a time like that. But where in the world did you find the pigeon?"

"It was actually an owl transfigured to look like a pigeon," Sirius said, looking proud. "McGonagall helped me out."

"Brilliant," she said, and she meant it, but she also said it to see how Potter would react. She knew how much the boy adored attention and praise - how would he do when someone else got it? "But I do have to ask - why?"

"I was afraid the Sneakoscope might go off in the muggle post. It kept making noise in our dorm."

"Really?" Mary broke in. "Lily showed it to us upstairs. It wasn't making a peep."

"That's...suspicious," Sirius said, whipping around and looking at his three friends. "Did one of you leave that dungbomb at the foot of my bed?"

"You dropped that there and forgot about it, Sirius," Remus said, shaking his head. Eliza giggled.

James, as Lily had predicted he might, ignored his friend and was looking at her with an eager look on his face. "What about my gift?" He asked. "Was it helpful?"

This was where her silly idea took off. "Actually, I don't drink much tea. My mother spent some time in America before we were born, and we drink coffee in our house."

Eliza and Mary looked confused, but Lily was watching James, whose eyebrows had disappeared up into his messy hair. "I could have sworn I've seen you drink it in the Great Hall," he said carefully.

"Maybe you're not as observant as you think you are, Potter," Black said.

"Of course, I appreciate the gesture, but tea isn't really my favorite," Lily said, shrugging. This, of course, was a lie. And she had actually appreciated the lovely tea box and even brought it back with her, thinking she could figure out a spell to boil her water and make herself a mug on chilly nights in the tower. But she wanted to tease James just a bit longer.

He turned beet red. "I'm sorry. I just thought - my mom always makes tea - and when you're sad it's nice to have something warm - and…." He was stuttering, which Lily had never seen before. She pursed her lips to keep from laughing.

"Sounds like you're a rotten gift-giver, Potter," Sirius said, slapping his friend on the shoulder. "All that money of yours and you couldn't come up with anything a bit more thoughtful?"

Jame ran a hand through his hair, succeeding only in making it messier. "Huh. I'm sorry Evans. I hope-"

He was cut off by Lily, Eliza and Mary all giggling. "Um, is something funny?" He asked.

"That tea box is sitting upstairs and half the tea has already been used," Mary burst out, almost as if she couldn't help herself. But Lily didn't mind - she hadn't planned for the joke to run too long and turn cruel anyway.

"What?" Potter dropped his hand out of his hair and looked at Lily, perplexed.

"Lily takes her black tea with milk and just a dash of honey every morning, James," Remus said quietly.

"Sometimes, in the evening she opts for an herbal tea with a slice of lemon," Peter added. Lily gave them a curious look. Apparently she spent more time with these boys than she ever realized.

"I'm just teasing you Potter. The tea box was lovely. And thoughtful. Thank you," she said graciously.

He blinked. "You lied?"

"I believe she was, as they say 'taking the mickey,' Potter," Sirius said, looking delighted. "And man, she got you good."

Lily laughed. It felt so good to be goofing around. She only wished Severus could be there too - though she knew it would never get on with Black and Potter in the group, it would have been nice to have him there.

"Well then," James did a strange sort of shimmy and straightened his robes. "I'm glad you liked it."

"Now, where is all that Potter wit?" She asked him, amused that she'd unsettled him so. It was payback for all the little things he did to irritate her. Maybe, if she managed him this way, they could be friends after all.

"Potter, witty?" Black said before the other boy could answer. "No no, my fair redheaded friend, surely you must be confused…"

James must have recovered, for he rounded on his friend with his usual spark. "Oh, as if you're the clever one - stepping on your own dungbombs and sending feces all over your part of the dormitory. I fear there's little hope for a man who soils his own sheets in such a way…."

The evening continued on with the boys teasing each other rather mercilessly as they made conversation with the girls. At some point someone brought out some Gobstones and someone else produced Exploding Snap.

Lily didn't get a chance to review a single page of notes, but as she settled into her bed that night, she felt less stressed, and the tinge of pain in her chest she felt every time she remembered her father felt rather less awful than it had felt at home.

All the ruckus had been good for her, she'd realized. Everything was better when surrounded by friends.

/

A few uneventful weeks of school passed for Sirius - the Slytherins seemed bogged down by their own internal politics, his mother hadn't bothered to write any nasty notes, and Andromeda had been passing him cheerful messages about her plans for the future with Ted. He was feeling optimistic about exams - he'd done well in class so far, so it stood to reason that he'd take home good marks - and was finally starting to feel truly secure with his place in Gryffindor house. Of course, there was just one thing that prevented him from relaxing and enjoying the beautiful late spring weather.

"Exams are one week away and you still haven't even started studying for Transfiguration or Charms!" Remus had raised his voice, which was somewhat unusual. Sirius, who was reclining on the common room floor playing Exploding Snap with James while Remus and Peter studied at a table next to them, rolled over and glanced up at him.

"You just said yourself we have a whole week," he said playfully, knowing he would set his friend off with such a response.

It worked. "ONE WEEK!" Remus shouted as he held up his index finger dramatically, drawing attention from a cluster of third-year girls by the fireplace. The normally quiet boy was flushed and gesturing wildly. "These exams are important- if you don't pass they'll hold you back from moving to the next year."

Sirius just shrugged. "We have more important things to do than study, Lupin," he said, winking at James, who was chuckling into his hand. As a matter of fact, Sirius and James had been planning to finally begin studying once they finished up the game, but egging on Remus when he was in such a passion was too funny to resist.

"YOU'RE PLAYING EXPLODING SNAP!" Much like the game, Remus exploded. "DOESN'T YOUR EDUCATION MATTER TO YOU AT ALL? DON'T YOU WANT TO MOVE TO SECOND YEAR?" This was by far the loudest Sirius had ever heard his skinny little friend shout, and he was loving it.

Sirius stretched leisurely. "What does it matter really? I'm inheriting a fortune no matter what my marks."

Remus opened his mouth, but he was so upset now that no words came out. "But-but- " he sputtered. "Don't you want to better yourself? Don't you want to study grindylows and vampires and boggarts? Don't you want to learn how to brew strengthening potions and cast freezing charms?!" Remus was talking so fast he was getting short of breath.

"Ok, ok, calm down," James finally said, standing up and putting a hand on each of Remus's shoulders to quiet the other boy. Sirius was rolling on the floor, laughing hysterically. "Black was just messing with you," he assured him. "Of course we want to learn about vampires and boggarts and whatever else you said. Though freezing charms may not be until third year…" he added as an afterthought.

Sirius' eyes were wet with tears of laughter, and he wiped them away as he stood and ruffled Remus' hair with his other hand. The other boy was scowling deeply.

"I don't think anyone else in this entire school is as invested in their education as you," he told him. He didn't actually think – he knew. Lily Evans, who was a teacher's favorite and a furious bookworm to rival Remus, on top of having missed two weeks of class, hadn't started holing up in the common room surrounded by notes until Remus had been doing it for nearly a week. Even some of the OWL and NEWT students seemed more relaxed about exams than Remus did.

"You could stand be a little more invested," he retorted.

"Now, now, let's not fight," James said, trying to mediate.

"Who's fighting?" Sirius asked, sitting down next to Peter, who was watching the whole scene with a fretful look on his face. "So, what are we working on right now anyway?"

"Charms," Remus said quietly. He seemed to have noticed some of the curious looks he was getting from around the common room, and looked rather embarrassed.

"Excellent, I'm brilliant at Charms," Sirius said brightly. He pulled his wand out of his pocket. "So where are we at?"

After a study session that seemed to drag on for days, Remus finally gave leave to stop for supper. Sirius thought it was rather amusing to watch Remus take the lead on something – that position was usually reserved for James or himself. But he went along with Remus' study schedule for the next few days without argument, knowing that it was important to his friend.

Which was why he and James were quite startled to discover that just days before exams were scheduled to start for first years, Remus had disappeared again.

"D'you suppose his mother took a turn for the worse?" James asked that night, when they discovered their friend's absence.

"I don't know what else would drag him away," Sirius said unhappily. He didn't like to think that his poor friend, so eager to do well in exams, would be distracted by his sick mother, or worse, lose his mother just before testing began. "Did he say anything to you Pettigrew?"

"No," the pudgy boy said sadly. "We were studying for Transfiguration, and he looked a bit pale, but I figured it was just stress. But when he got up to use the bathroom he never came back."

James shook his head sadly. "I don't like it," he said. "Remus has been so fanatical about studying. He wouldn't leave unless he absolutely had to."

"I'm going to McGonagall," Sirius said, jumping up. "She has to have some idea of what's going on." Before the other two could argue, he stalked out of the common room toward his head of house's office. His friends quickly followed.

But to his frustration, McGonagall wasn't in her office.

"Bloody professors wandering around wherever they damn well please," he muttered as he turned on his heels to go back to the Common Room, James and Peter behind him.

"That is the benefit of being an adult, Mr. Black," a man's voice responded. Sirius stopped short and looked up at the headmaster. He thought for a moment he would lose house points for his foul mouth, but Dumbledore only smiled. "Perhaps I can help you, as Professor McGonagall is off seeing to other duties?"

Sirius hesitated a moment – he'd never thought to ask Remus if Dumbledore was aware of his mother's poor health, but he imagined that the headmaster would be aware of something that dragged a student away every month. "Our friend Remus- you know him, I'm sure?" he began, forgetting that James and Remus had met with the headmaster on his behalf not long ago.

"Remus Lupin."

Dumbledore nodded, waiting for Sirius to continue.

"Well he goes home each month to see his sick mother, but we thought this time he would wait until after exams – he's been so bloody focused on studying for them, after all – but he just disappeared this afternoon without saying anything to any of us - and we think she may have taken a turn – and it just doesn't seem fair that he would get pulled away with exams so soon – but if she's bad off of course he has to go – but the whole thing is such bullocks –" Sirius could hear himself rambling but his temper had risen over the injustice of it all, and he was having trouble keeping his emotions in check.

"We're just a bit worried about Remus, professor," James stepped in.

The headmaster looked each boy thoughtfully. "So he's told you he goes to visit his sick mother each month?" Dumbledore said softly, almost to himself. Then he set his eyes in line with Sirius', who was slightly taken aback.

"Well, Sirius Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew, it shows great loyalty to your friend to come to a professor with these concerns," he said, keeping eye contact with Sirius. "While Remus has a right to his privacy, I can assure you of this. If personal matters force him away from his studies, or, worse case scenario, force him to miss exams completely, we will make accommodations for him to take them at a later time." The headmaster smiled again. "Though, from what I've heard about Remus, he's quite the scholar and would be unlikely to agree to such accommodations if he's able to make it back, which I suspect he will."

Sirius noticed the headmaster's eyes twinkle through his spectacles as he said this last bit, and wondered what the wizard knew about Remus that his friends did not.

"However," he said, his voice slightly more stern now, but not unkind. "I cannot make accommodations for students who are simply fretting about their friend, noble as that may be. So you three best get back to studying for your own exams, don't you think?"

"Yes, professor," James said, stepping up next to Sirius. The smaller boy grabbed his friend by the shoulder, clearly indicating that they should do as they were told for a change.

But Sirius felt uneasy as they walked back to the dormitory. "Wasn't that a big strange, the way he skirted around the question?" He asked the other two.

"Yeah, but McGonagall did the same thing," James said.

"It seems to me like they're just respecting student privacy," Peter said glumly. "But all the same, I'm worried for Remus…"

"Obviously," Sirius said. He gave James a meaningful look over Peter's head. Something was going on with their friend. It simply wasn't normal to constantly disappear like this. And why did Remus always looks so sick before he left? "Bugger…" he muttered. "Let's go find Snivellus and try out that new jelly-legs jinx on him."

"But that's more advanced than first year!" Peter exclaimed, sounding frightened. "What if it goes wrong?"

"All the better, as long as we hit Snivellus," James said, perking up at the thought.

"B-But shouldn't we be studying, like the headmaster said?" Peter said, his voice shaking slightly.

But Sirius had no interest in studying without his sandy-haired friend, though admittedly Peter probably needed to go over his notes a fair bit more than Sirius or James did. And Sirius had a great deal more patience for soft admonishments from Remus than shaky recommendations from Peter.

"Head back to the common room and wait for Lupin then," Sirius suggested. "Potter and I are going to go let off some steam."

/

James would never admit it out loud, but he was feeling rather anxious. Exams were slated to start in two days, and while he'd had every intention of studying more or less at the last minute from the beginning, Remus still hadn't returned, and he'd rather been relying on the other boy to fill in the blanks in History of Magic.

He was also rather anxious about the very fact that Remus remained missing. Usually when he disappeared he returned after two days, but it had been nearly four, and Professor McGonagall had flat out refused to give him any information, even after he and Sirius sat through class completely silent, taking exam review notes diligently the entire duration.

It didn't help that Peter was fretting loudly every evening about how he'd never pass without his study buddy, and Sirius had to brooding like a sullen teenager in the evenings while staring at Remus' empty bed. It seemed in moments of high pressure Remus was the one who held them all together, and with Remus missing, they were a right mess.

"I guess I'll head to the library to start reviewing for History of Magic," he said to no one in particular.

"History of Magic!" Peter exclaimed. "Can I come along – I can't keep track of any of the goblin leaders – their names are all things like 'Bodrod the Befouled' and 'Durg the Dirty'"

James chuckled. "'Bodrod the Bearded,'" he corrected. "Clearly you do need some more studying." He grabbed his bag and tossed his notes and textbook in, along with a few quills. "Coming, Sirius?"

The other boy glanced up at him from the Muggle Studies book he'd nicked from one of the third years. "S'pose it can't hurt…"

The threesome gathered up their study materials and headed down to the library, which was already crowded with other, more motivated, students.

"Oi, Evans!" James said, spotting a familiar redhead sitting alone at one of the large round tables. "Can we sit here?" Without waiting for an answer, he dropped his bag. "Brilliant. You know, Remus usually gets here nice and early and saves us seats –" he said without thinking, then stopped mid-sentence due to the look on Sirius' face.

Lily looked up from her books, annoyed at the interruption, but she would never sabotage another student attempting to study. "I noticed Remus has been out of class for the last few days," she said. "Is his mother all right?"

"None of your business," Sirius said belligerently, dropping his bag on the table.

Lily glared at him, and James mentally reprimanded himself for bringing up Remus in the first place. Their relationship with Lily Evans was still tedious at best. "Don't mind him, he's just grumpy because he always sleeps through History of Magic and he's likely to fail the exam. What are you working on, anyway?"

"Transfiguration," she said, holding up the book for him to see.

"Splendid! I'm great at Transfiguration!" He said, excited to be able to show off something he knew.

"But I thought we were studying for History of Magic!" Peter piped up. James glanced at him, mildly annoyed.

"That's fine, I was just leaving anyway," Lily said, beginning to gather her things.

"Aww, c'mon Evans, we don't bite," Sirius said.

"Well…" she hesitated for a moment, but then the library doors opened and Severus Snape walked in. All eyes at the table went to him immediately. He was looking around uncertainly and when he spotted Lily he started to smile, until he realized who she was with.

"Why are you sitting with them?" he asked intensely as he strode over to the table. Sirius rolled his eyes.

"Hello to you too, Snivellus," James said. "We were just here having a perfectly nice conversation about our studies until some greasy primate walked through the door."

James jumped as Lily snapped her book closed. "I was just leaving, Sev," she said, glaring at James. "Every time Potter. Every time I start to think better of you…"

"Evans – " James started to say, but she'd already turned her back and was walking away with Snape, red hair billowing out behind her.

"Slimy git," Sirius muttered.

"Why does someone like her hang out with that kind of rubbish?" James asked, grouchy. He'd been looking forward to impressing Evans with his Transfiguration skills

"Who cares?" Sirius said. "Come on, if we don't start studying for History of Magic soon poor Peter is going to have a fit."

When lunchtime rolled around the boys decided to pack it up and grab a bite before moving the operation back to the common room. As James walked into the Great Hall, he spotted a welcome sight.

"LUPIN!" He said, running up and grabbing the boy by the shoulder. "Are you okay? How's your mum? Why were you gone so long? Have you had much time to study?!"

"Hi James," the other boy responded, smiling. James was displeased to see that there were bags under his friend's eyes and tired lines. He was quite pale, and when James let go off his shoulder he observed that his friend seemed a bit shaky on his feet.

"I'm okay," Remus was saying. "Mum's okay – she was going through a rough patch but it should be all right…" James raised one eyebrow. Remus was saying all the words, but he seemed devoid of emotion, like he was simply telling a story rather than explaining his own mother's precarious health condition. "I only just got back because the doctor was monitoring her. And I've had some time to study. Hi Sirius, hi Peter."

The other two boys had caught up. Sirius grabbed Remus by both shoulders and shook him. "Are you okay? How's your mum? Why were you gone so long?"

"James already asked that," Remus said, looking tired but amused. "Mum's okay – I – what are you doing?"

Sirius had let go of one shoulder and brushed a stray lock of hair away from Remus' eye. James gasped when he saw the great purple bruise on Remus's temple. "What happened to your face?" Sirius demanded.

"I walked into a door while reading, it's nothing," Remus said, a little too quickly for James to be entirely convinced.

"Why didn't your father heal it?" Sirius asked, his tone accusatory. James thought this was a fair question – even if his father wasn't much of a Healer, a quick bit of bruise balm could have fixed it up, and it looked fairly painful.

Remus muttered something James couldn't hear. "What?" Sirius said loudly. "Speak up."

"Bruise balm is expensive," Remus said, sounding miserable, and James immediately felt bad. Of course Remus was trying to brush it off – his parents weren't as well off as the Blacks or the Potters, and his mum was a muggle – they probably didn't keep things like bruise balm in the house for minor hurts – they probably saved magical remedies for important things, like Remus' mum's illness.

"Oh. Well crap. I feel like a prat now," Sirius said after a moment, trying to put Remus' hair back into place. "I wasn't thinking. Want me to run to the hospital wing and get you some?"

"Madam Pomfrey doesn't keep bruise balm," Peter said, startling them all with his knowledge. "She says children are perfectly capable of recovering from minor bumps and bruises without being helped along by magic – she told me so that day I fell off my broom during flying lessons. She fixed my broken wrist up in no time, though."

James was surprised by this – the Potter household had cabinets chock full of every remedy you could imagine – pints of PepperUp potion, Blood Replenishing Potion, four different varieties of bruise balms (his mother liked to keep a variety of scents) , and even small vials of dittany for more serious maladies.

"I'll bet Pomfrey just tells students that so she doesn't have the sixth and seventh years breaking in to grab bruise balm for their hickeys," Sirius said. "I'll also bet she can fix you up with her wand."

"I don't want to trouble her," Remus insisted. "Can't we just sit down and eat?"

"I am pretty hungry," Peter said. Remus smiled at him and James decided it was time to let it rest. His friend looked like he could use a good meal.

"Fine, fine, let's eat," James said. "Lupin, we have to tell you about all the fine work we've been doing in your absence."

"You've studied without me?" Remus sat as he sat down. "Or did you work on the map?"

"We fit a little of that in," James said, waving a hand dismissively. "But I'm not talking about schoolwork - well, not specifically. I am talking about wand work though."

"Wandwork?"

"James and I have mastered the jelly-legs jinx!" Sirius said excitedly as he plopped down on the other side of Remus. "We tested it on Snivellus first - that worked fairly well, but we discovered when we tested it on Mulciber that if you just flick your wrist at the last possible

second the effect is seven-fold!"

"We also discovered the Reductor curse works pretty well for sending bits of pumpkin pasties everywhere," James said. "You best be careful when you aim though - we put a bit of a hole in one of the arm chairs in the common room while we were testing it. I was able to bribe Dawson in fifth year to put it right for us though."

"Oh, oh, we were also able to transfigure Avery's money pouch into mouse!" Sirius said, his eyes sparkling as though overjoyed just by the memory. You should have seen his face when it started scurrying all over. Wish we'd thought to pull that on Narcissa instead though - can you imagine her shrieks?"

Remus sighed. "Such gifts, wasted on such delinquents..." he said mournfully, shaking his head and grabbing a roast beef sandwich for his plate.

James and Sirius both laughed. It was good to have Remus back, joking with them as he always did. But James still had this nagging feeling that there was something their friend wasn't telling them.

/

It was the first day of exams, and Peter was a wreck. He'd studied best he could without Remus as his guide, but he was sure he wasn't as prepared for Potions as he should be, and there were still spots in History of Magic he felt weak on.

Peter was a bit miffed that Remus had just off and disappeared on him when he'd promised to help study. Sure, his mother was ill, but that wasn't a new state of affairs. If there was a chance he'd have to leave, why had Remus promised to help in the first place?

He'd tried to bring his concerns up to James, but James told him, rather harshly, that family came first and that he best not make Remus feel guilty for having to run home. Then Sirius overheard and threatened to hang Peter from his bedpost by his ankles if he said anything to Remus about it. Apparently, it was in bad taste to put one's self-interest before those of a sick woman you'd never even met.

Admittedly, Remus had created a study schedule before he left, and had Peter stuck to it, he probably would have been in good shape. But it was very hard to focus when James and Sirius were shooting peas that they nicked from dinner up at the ceiling of the dormitory with their wands, or when James and Sirius started throwing their voices in the library to get Madam Pince worked up, searching through the stacks to find the culprit, or when James and Sirius started singing dirty sailor songs in the Common Room.

Basically, it was really hard to focus around James and Sirius, period.

The first exam, Charms, didn't go terribly poorly. Sirius was very good in the subject and had actually made a real effort to help Peter with the practical aspects of spellcasting. He was still shaky on the theory part, so his written result may be less than stellar, but he cast a perfect levitation charm and several others were at least acceptable.

Transfiguration didn't go as well as he'd hoped, but he did finish the exam. James had seemed particularly confident in his results, and Sirius and Remus seemed pleased. Peter had wanted to discuss it with them, but he was afraid to find out exactly how wrong his answers had been, so he decided not to ask.

At supper the evening post came in and Remus began reading the paper.

"There's news," Remus said.

Peter groaned inwardly. He did not need to be distracted by news of murder hundreds of miles away right now.

"What?" James and Sirius crowded around Remus for a look at the paper.

"Apparently a man named Thorfinn Rowle has been arrested by the Aurors. They think he may be tied to that triple slaying of the Muggle Relations workers."

"Oh. Well that's good news!" Peter said, happily surprised.

"Maybe," Sirius said. "Just because he'd been arrested doesn't mean he'll be convicted. Or if he was even there."

"Aww Black, lighten up. Let Petey enjoy some good news," James said.

Sirius just frowned. "Rowle. Don't recognize the name."

"Why would you? Do you run in the same circles as blood fanatic psycho murderers?" Peter asked, trying to be funny.

But instead of a laugh, his comment earned him a glare from both James and Sirius. James reached over and grabbed the paper out of Remus' hands. "Black, let's ask around. See if anyone knows this Thorfinn Rowle character."

The two black-haired boys left and Peter turned to Remus, confused. "What did I say?"

"Best not to joke about the blood purity movement, Peter," Remus told him. "Especially with Sirius. I think he's made it clear there's enough tension between him and his family over that."

"Oh come on. The Blacks are one of the most prominent families in England. You don't really think they're involved in something like this?"

Remus sighed. "I'm beginning to wonder what pureblood families aren't involved. Remember, it was Narcissa Black that told us what Death Eaters are. It's just so..."

Peter hated when Remus did that - left a sentence hanging in the air. It was like he expected Peter to infer meaning from silence, but he just wanted a clear answer. He began to get nervous. The Blacks were blood purists, and sure, the way Sirius talked his cousin Bellatrix was certainly informed of the politics of the movement, but Sirius' parents couldn't be connected with these violent incidents. Sirius' blonde cousin seemed averse to the idea. "But - if Sirius' family is involved why would you hang out with him? Your mother's a muggle."

"So she is," Remus said.

"Then wouldn't it be dangerous for you to hang around him?"

"Sirius has never been anything but kind to me," Remus said evenly.

"So you're not afraid of him? Not even a little?" Truth be told, Peter could never decide whether he admired Sirius or was terrified of him. Sometimes Peter wondered if it was just a matter of time before Sirius snapped and went off on him. If his family was entangled in the blood purity movement, what if Sirius decided to side with them?

But Remus just snorted, as if the question was utterly ridiculous. "I'm not afraid of him, no. Afraid for him, maybe. Why? Are you?"

Peter started to answer, but was too ashamed to speak his opinion out loud, remembering how James had reacted earlier in the year. "I'm not afraid of him, but all this blood purity stuff is scary."

"Oh Peter, don't be afraid. Nothing will happen to you here at Hogwarts."

Peter wanted to believe that, but then he remembered his kidnapping at the hands of Rodolphus Lestrange. Was Hogwarts really that safe?

The thought made him eager for the start of the summer holidays.

/

Remus had been stressed about exams, and the result had been a miserable transformation and extra days in the hospital wing. Thankfully, Madam Pomfrey set him right, and Professor McGonagall had dropped in to make sure he was keeping up with his revising.

He'd also had another, unexpected visitor. Professor Cadance had ventured down from her tower to check in on him.

"Divination is a very inexact branch of magic," she told him. "Some people never see anything at all. Others see things they can't make heads or tails of. Even experienced Seers like myself see things in bits and pieces, and have to hope our interpretation is accurate. So when I saw you all bruised and bloodied in my crystal ball, I just wanted to drop in to make sure it wasn't anything too serious."

"That's very kind of you," he'd told her as he helped himself to one of the chocolate truffles she'd brought him.

She'd smiled at him and spent an hour or so helping him review his History of Magic notes. "The future and the past are closely linked, of course. I've always rather enjoyed looking at the past."

Remus found that Professor Cadance was very easy to talk to, and seemed unbothered by his injuries or lycanthropy. When he was released from the hospital wing, he promised to write her over the summer.

And in the end, despite the tough transformation just before exams, Remus felt good about how he tested, even in Potions, his least favorite subject.

First years had two days of freedom before the term ended and everyone headed home, and Remus was determined to spend every moment of it enjoying himself with his friends.

This was not difficult. James and Sirius, invigorated by the end of exams and the beautiful weather, had decided now was the time for a swim in the lake and an attempt at touching the giant squid. Peter, who had been all for a swim, quickly backed out when he realized their intentions, which left he and Remus to lounge together on the beach while their friends behaved like fools.

"It was a wonderful year, wasn't it?" Remus asked Peter as he basked in the sun.

"Minus all the talk of murder, blood purity, and my kidnap and abuse at the hands of the Slytherins?" Peter asked, sounding slightly bitter. Remus suspected his friend had struggled more with exams than the rest of them, and chose not to rise to the bait of his bad mood.

Remus sighed. "But the Slytherins haven't really bothered us since Rodolphus left, unless James or Sirius provoked them," he pointed out. "And haven't we had such fun together?"

"I do enjoy our late-night strolls to the kitchens," Peter admitted, a small smile now on his lips. "And our pranks, of course."

"Oh, you boys and your pranks!" Remus looked up and saw Marlene McKinnon standing over them. "You know you're beginning to get a reputation - even in Hufflepuff." She smiled and sat down next to Remus, shaking out her hair. "Beautiful day, isn't it? I figured I'd find James and you lot outside. We haven't had much time to hang out being in different houses this year."

"We can make more of an effort next year," Remus said, feeling guilty. Of course James, popular as he was, had friends long before the Gryffindor dormitory. Remus didn't want to hog his friend away from others. He winced as he watched a great squid tentacle rise out of the water near James, but the creature must not have been bothered by the two boys pestering him, for it quickly slipped back under the water before James could reach it.

"Are they trying to touch the squid?" Marlene asked. Peter nodded in response, saving Remus the trouble. "Oh my…"

"Are they trying to touch the squid?" Mary MacDonald, who had been walking by, stopped, her eyes on the lake. "That doesn't seem very safe."

"It's the risk that makes it fun for James, I think," Marlene said with a giggle. "He's always been like that, ever since we were small."

"You've known Potter since you were small?" Lily had come along with Mary. "Tell me, has he always been such an impetuous thing?"

Remus, who had thought Lily might say something less kind, snorted in amusement as Marlene giggled again.

"Impetuous? James? Where do you get that?" Marlene asked sarcastically. Lily cocked her head in response and Marlene giggled again. "Well yes, he's always been a force of nature. But that's what always makes visiting the Potters so fun."

"Ohh your families are close?" Mary asked, settling down in the sand next to Peter. "Tell us, what is James like outside of school?"

Remus felt they were broaching on uncomfortably gossip territory, but wasn't sure how to remove himself, and was admittedly curious to hear Marlene's take, so he did nothing.

"Much the same as he is here," Marlene told them. "A bit more showy with his toys and things. He loves his broomstick and was always taking off on it, leaving me on the ground. So I asked mother for a broom of my own one Christmas, thinking it would annoy him when I told him I got one. But instead, he got all excited and sent me a Quaffle. We've been playing Quidditch together ever since. It's a shame we won't get to play together on a House team…"

"You play Quidditch?" Lily asked.

Marlene nodded. "I plan to try out for the team when Smith and Douglas leave third year. I would love to try sooner, but the only one graduating this year is Tonks, and I don't want to play beater."

"Oh no!" Peter's squeal drew the group's attention to the lake, where Sirius was wrapped up in a large tentacle and shouting something unintelligible while James waved around frantically treading water, trying to get a grip on the beast to help his friend free.

The girls gasped in horror, but Remus was already on his feet, wand in hand, running into the water. He had worried something like this might happen, and he was prepared.

"Rictusempra!" he shouted, pointing his wand at the tentacle and hoping his spell was powerful enough for something so large.

The tentacle twitched and loosened its grip enough for Sirius to wiggle loose. The boy yelped as he hit the water and for a panicked moment Remus thought his friend might be too injured to swim, but his black-haired head quickly popped up above the waves. He and James made a beeline for the shore, splashing around inelegantly in their haste.

"Wow, Remus!" Marlene exclaimed. "That was so brave!"

Brave? Remus had merely been protecting his fool-hardy friend. He shrugged, uncomfortable with the attention.

"What spell was that?" Lily asked. Remus noticed she was pocketing her own wand - apparently he was not the only one who'd been ready to act. His estimation of Lily Evans, which was already positive, rose several points.

"Just a tickling jinx," he told her. "I didn't want to hurt it. After all, they provoked it..."

"LUPIN!" At that moment a soggy and half-naked Siris Black plowed into him, throwing his arms around him in a big wet hug. "I could have died!"

"Yes, you really could have." The first-years turned to see a frowning Kingsley Shacklebolt. "I saw you from across the grounds. Do you have any idea how lucky you are? The squid could have pulled you under in seconds."

"But it didn't!" James chirped, running a hand through his messy and sopping wet hair. "And what a story!"

"There's a difference between bravery and recklessness," the prefect scolded. "You need to learn that."

"That's funny, coming from the Gryffindor prefect that hopped from the Astronomy Tower into thin air on a dare last term," Marlene broke in.

The whole group gasped, turning to Kingsley. "Is that true?" James demanded.

"Who are you, and how do you know that?" he asked Marlene calmly.

She gave him a coy smile. "I'm Arland McKinnon's younger sister."

"Hmm…" He considered her for a moment, then laughed a deep booming laugh that rather startled Remus, who was used to seeing Kingsley in his stricter moments. "Tell Arland to stop spinning tall tales. I didn't jump into thin air, I jumped onto one of the thestrals."

"What's a thestral?" Mary asked.

"A magical, pseudo invisible horse," James said.

"Pseudo invisible? What does that mean?" Lily asked.

"Some people can see them," Kingsley told them. "Most at our age can't. Which is why it looked fairly impressive when I jumped off the Astronomy Tower last term." He winked at Marlene. "But that aside, you shouldn't harass the squid. It's generally a gentle giant." He turned back to James and Sirius. "I should take House points for this, but given that exams are already over, and you already had a bit of a scare, I suppose I'll let it slide." With that, he walked off.

Remus smiled to himself. Gryffindor was in first for the House Cup - he was sure that was the real reason the prefect wasn't taking points.

"But why can some people see them?" Lily called after him curiously, but she was ignored. "Ohh, I hate when older students drop knowledge like that without fully explaining!"

"I'm sure we can find the answer in the library," Remus offered.

"NO!" Sirius cried loudly. "We are not going to the library- not on a day like today. Now when I'm lucky to be ALIVE!" He continued dramatically. "We need to seize this moment!" He spun around, and then, to everyone's great shock, he grabbed Marlene by the shoulders and planted a kiss on her lips.

"Sirius!" She shrieked she pushed him off and James roared with laughter. Lily and Mary both looked rather horrified, Peter looked confused, and Remus tried to avert his eyes, not entirely sure what the appropriate reaction was.

"Well, I just thought kissing a pretty girl was a good way to seize the moment," he told her, grinning.

"Flattery will get you nowhere!" she told him roughly, but her cheeks were red and she made no moves to go for her wand. "You can't just steal a girl's first kiss without warning like that!"

"Hey, it was my first kiss too," he said, looking unconcerned. "Just think, one day you'll be able to tell your grandchildren about how your first kiss was with the most attractive guy at school."

James and Lily snorted loudly as Marlene swatted at him and Sirius backed away laughing. "I'll get you back for this!"

Sirius took off and Marlene rushed after him while the rest of the group laughed. Remus, who wasn't terribly interested in girls at that stage, thought Sirius had gone a bit far, but as Marlene ran after the boy, laughing all the way, it suddenly hit Remus how perfectly normal it was for boys and girls to fancy each other and tease each other in such a way. Remus, a werewolf since the age of 4, was sitting with a group of friends laughing after his friend kissed a girl for the first time. Maybe, someday, Remus would get the chance to kiss a girl.

It wasn't something he'd ever really considered before, but it was a nice thought, a pretty picture of a future he'd never imagine possible at the beginning of the year.


	32. Summer Begins!

It was the final day of the term and James Potter was bursting with the kind of energy only young boys possess.

"Shall we go for another swim? Perhaps take a hike through the Forbidden Forest? Nick some brooms and fly to the top of the Astronomy tower?"

"There are less than 24 hours left of the term. Can't you stay out of trouble for 24 hours?" Remus asked, sounding a little desperate.

James only laughed. He would not be deterred by his straight-laced friend. As it was, James and Sirius had forced a little rebellion out of Lupin that year, and James believed there was more beneath the surface.

"We could go find Marlene so she and Sirius can have a proper snog," James said slyly, winking at his raven-haired friend.

"What was it like to kiss a girl, Sirius?" Peter couldn't help but ask. "I didn't imagine any of us kissing a girl until at least fourth year."

Sirius scoffed. "You'll be lucky if you pull it off by sixth year, Petey," he said, and James roared with laughter. "And to answer your question, it was excellent, just like everything else I do."

Peter looked rather hurt by Sirius' comment and James knew to step in.

"Personally I think it's a bit early to be distracted by girls," James said in a lofty voice, recovering himself. "We have greater goals ahead of us."

"Easy for you to say that now, when Lily Evans isn't around," Sirius said.

"Evans? Whatever do you mean?" James asked with false innocence.

This time it was Remus who scoffed.

"Admit it, Potter, Evans gets under your skin, and I don't mean with those snippy little barbs of hers," Sirius said. Peter nodded ferociously in agreement.

Twelve-year-old James Potter wasn't about to admit his feelings for Lily Evans out loud. As it was, he and his friends had scarcely passed the age where they found kissing gross. No, Lily Evans wasn't someone he fancied as a girl- she was merely someone he admired as a worthy challenger. At least, that's the lie he would tell anyone who asked.

"You know what we should do today?" James said, forcing the topic in a new direction. "We should prank Evans! Give her a proper summer sendoff!"

Remus sighed, Peter shook his head, and Sirius barked with laughter.

"You don't have the guts to pull one on Evans," Sirius said.

"Watch me!" James said defiantly. There was nothing that got him going more than being accused of cowardice. If James hadn't been so determined to steer the conversation away from his budding crush on Lily Evans, he would have remembered that Sirius knew that, and was likely trying to get kicks from it.

But instead, he fell for the bait, and his actions would be ones he regretted, but had no idea how to fix.

Several hours later, he was sitting in the common room with Remus and Sirius.

"That wasn't how it was supposed to go," he moaned while Remus patted his back sympathetically.

"Normally I'd be disappointed that your goal wasn't to land Severus Snape in the hospital wing, but in this case…" Sirius let his voice trail off.

James moaned again and buried his face in his arms, which were resting on the table. It had been such a simple plan - enchant the step after the trick step with a tripping jinx so that when Evans hopped over, she would then slip and fall. In fact, James had planned to come to her rescue, her gallant knight in a moment of embarrassment. They'd have a good laugh about the whole thing, and then head outside with the others to enjoy the final few hours of their first year.

Of course, he hadn't counted on Severus Snape rushing up to greet Evans from the opposite direction. Nor had he anticipated the staircase choosing to move at the precise moment Snape's foot hit the jinxed stair, causing the boy to go flying right over the banister and plunging toward the stone floor four stories away.

Now, to James' credit, he had shouted and rushed forward when he saw what was happening, grabbing for the other boy's robes, as Lily screamed and ran for her friend. But the girl's leg slipped into the trip step and she stumbled, and James' fingertips had only grazed the fabric of Snape's robes…

"Thank Merlin Dorcas Meadowes was there to cast that cushioning charm," Remus said. "It could have been so much worse."

James wasn't sure it could be. Meadowes, who'd rushed forward just in time to save Snape from becoming mush on the floor, may not have realized the Slytherin boy's footwork had been affected by a jinx on the step, but when Lily Evans had looked at James, her leg still stuck in the trip step, he knew she knew. Her expression had changed from one of horror to fury, and when he made a move to help her out, she shoved him away with force.

"I've got it, thanks," she'd said, glaring at him with her emerald green eyes. Her anger was terrible, but it also highlighted how beautiful she was.

"She's never going to forgive me," James muttered. "And I wasn't even trying to jinx Snivellus this time!" It seemed unfair, somehow.

"Rough luck," Sirius told him, patting him on the shoulder.

The portrait hole swung open and Peter Pettigrew entered. He glanced around then surreptitiously handed James the invisibility cloak.

"From what I gathered, Snape broke an ankle and smashed up a knee, but Madam Pomfrey will have him healed up in time for the Hogwarts Express tomorrow. No permanent damage done."

The portrait swung open again and James felt Remus wince next to him. "I'm not so sure about that."

Lily Evans marched up to James, looking every bit as angry as she'd been earlier.

"You, James Potter, are a rotten little boy!" She told him, brandishing her index finger in his face. "A horrible bully with no regard for anyone else!"

"Evans, I can explain," James said, standing up quickly. "It wasn't what it looked like. I wasn't trying to jinx Sni-I mean Snape. Really!"

"Don't you dare try to tell me that stair wasn't jinxed, James Potter! I'm not such a fool!"

"Of course not," he said. "It's just that it wasn't meant for Snape. The jinx, I mean. I wasn't trying to throw him over the banister, honestly, that's as good as murder! What kind of person do you think I am?"

"Potter was just trying to pull a final prank to send us off," Sirius broke in, trying to be helpful. "Snape was never the intended victim."

"Then who was the intended victim?" She asked, crossing her arms and staring all four of them down.

"Er…" Sirius faltered.

"Well…" James said.

"You see…" Remus muttered. James was grateful for his friends loyalty, but when Evans turned her gaze on Peter, the smallest member of their group crumbled.

"It was supposed to be you," Peter whispered.

The redhead blinked, as if she wasn't entirely sure she'd heard correctly.

"You were trying to trip me?" She asked, turning back to James. He found he could not come up with a lie.

"Yes," he admitted. "But no one was supposed to fall off the staircase! And I was right there to catch you, and then we all could've had a good laugh…"

He knew it was a hopeless situation. She was looking him up and down as if he were something she'd picked off her shoe.

"Of course. James Potter is always looking for a good laugh. Often at the expense of others."

He opened his mouth to try to mount a defense but she never gave him the chance.

"You are revolting," she told him. "Thank goodness summer is here - I don't think I can stand to be in the same tower as you any longer."

With that, she turned, her hair whipping James in the face as she left back out the portrait hole.

James sunk back into his chair in defeat. Sirius, meanwhile, rounded on Peter.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you, Pettigrew?" He snapped. "Why couldn't you just keep your mouth shut until we came up with an excuse?"

"Lily is scary!" Peter said shrilly. "I cracked under the pressure."

"Don't blame Peter for this," Remus broke in. "He didn't want to lie."

"Yeah well, he's effectively ruined any chance Potter ever had with Evans."

"Surely she'll forgive him by the time we're fourth years," Peter said nervously.

James was only 12 years old. He hadn't even begun to think about chances he might or might not have with girls down the line.

So why was he so depressed he'd alienated Lily Evans?

Merlin, he couldn't wait to get home to a hug from his mother.

/

Remus finished out his first year trying to convince Lily Evans to speak to James Potter.

"He's really a better person than you give him credit for," Remus said, feeling it was his duty to try to do something for his friend, who'd already done so much for him just by being a friend. "He's just a bit thoughtless sometimes."

"I don't know why you keep making excuses for Potter and Black," Lily said. "They never think of anyone but themselves. How can you stand it?"

"Now that's not true," Remus said. "They were both thinking of you when your father passed away. Sirius had us searching the whole castle for a pigeon until McGonagall stepped in. And James put a lot of thought into that tea box. He asked me my opinion on at least three different models."

Lily was quiet for a moment, as if unsure what to do with that information. Finally, she sighed.

"Severus is my oldest friend," she told him. "If I don't take his side in this, what kind of person am I?"

"Are there really sides to be taken?" Remus asked.

Lily cocked her head and gave him an amused smile. "Potter jinxed my friend over a staircase, Remus."

"But that wasn't his intention!" Remus argued.

"True, but actions have consequences! And he hardly had good intentions to begin with," Lily said.

"But-"

"Remus," she cut him off. "I'd really like if you and I could be friends. So while I understand you're taking James' side on this, can we stop talking about it?"

"I - " Remus was caught off guard at the casual way she talked about their budding friendship. It seemed so outlandish to him that she would want to befriend him, a scrawny bookworm with a terrible secret, over the charming and affable James Potter. He was so touched that he decided to give in.

"Ok, we can talk about something else, but I'm telling you, James isn't as bad as you think."

Despite Remus' failure to bring Lily around, James was never one to stay in a poor mood for long, and with a little effort, Sirius had been able rally James into good cheer for the train ride home. The four boys spent the ride laughing over game after game of Exploding Snap in a back compartment.

The train ride on the Hogwarts Express was far too quickly for Remus' taste. Leaving school and his friends was bittersweet - he knew he wouldn't have nearly as much fun at home alone, but he wouldn't have to watch everything he said as far as his condition was concerned. As it was, James invited all the boys to stay for two weeks at the end of the holiday, and Remus was hoping his parents would consent to his first ever sleepover.

The summer holidays at the Lupin household began peacefully. Remus had been surprised to discover that his mother had begun a garden - late season tulips swayed cheerfully in the wind and deep purple irises provided a pretty pop of color to the simple white house. She had even incorporated a few magical plants - there was dittany next to the parsley in the herb garden, which Remus was pleased to see, for dittany had all manner of healing properties but was rather expensive when purchased outright. He wondered how much the seeds had been.

"You've never gardened before, Mother," he said, the question evident even as he spoke in a statement.

"I used to, when you were a baby," she told him with a smile. "Since your father and I have decided we'll be staying in this house for a bit, it seemed a good place to start again."

Remus realized with a pang that his mother must have never started gardens before because she knew in a year or so she'd just have to pack everything up and leave them behind. Now, with their werewolf son gone the majority of the year, the Lupins were free to settle in a more permanent way, as keeping a secret a few months of the year was quite a bit easier than fielding questions about their sickly son year-round. He felt a rush of gratitude toward Albus Dumbledore for allowing him at Hogwarts and giving his family that gift.

He touched one of the flowers and smiled. "Mother," he said finally. "One of my school friends has invited us all to stay the final weeks before the new term starts. I know I wouldn't be able to go the whole time with the moon cycle, but do you suppose I could go for the second week?"

He'd been apprehensive about asking this - he'd never had friends to visit before for a day, let alone an entire week as he was suggesting. He'd intentionally broached the topic with his mother first, suspecting his overprotective father would be less receptive to the idea of him mingling with wizarding families any more than necessary, particularly the Potters and Blacks, who were well-connected and sat on the Board of Governors at Hogwarts and several other important wizarding institutions. If they were to learn his secret it would be devastating, Remus knew, but he so badly wanted to be a normal boy and play with his friends over the summer.

His mother, who was pruning a large bush Remus couldn't identify, paused, looking thoughtful. "I'd like to meet these friends of your first before I send you off for an extended visit," she said carefully. "And speak with their parents. There's still a fortnight before the full moon...perhaps we could have them over for supper next week?"

"Really?!" Remus had half-expected her to reject the idea immediately.

She nodded. "Why don't you go write to the boys? How about Friday? That gives us plenty of time to prepare." She smiled at him. "I'll discuss it with your father tonight."

"Yes!" Remus jumped up and ran inside before she could change her mind. He was quivering with excitement. He knew James would have no trouble charming his mother, and his parents seemed exactly the sort his parents would approve of. Remus didn't know much about Peter's mother, but she seemed the kindly sort. He was a bit concerned about what may happen if Sirius' mother showed up to their little Muggle home, but he decided to push those concerns aside as he scribbled out notes to each his friends as quickly as he could write.

He ran back outside. "May I post them now, mother?"

"Yes - there are a few sickles in my wallet you can use to pay," she told him. "Best have them sent before your father gets home and tries to talk us out of it." She winked at him.

Remus ran all the way to the Post Office, half out of excitement, and half out of fear that his mother may change her mind.

Lyall Lupin did indeed try to talk his wife out of the plans when he made it home from work that evening.

"Hope - is it wise to let these people into our home?" He asked. "Fleamont and Euphemia Potter sit on the council at St. Mungo's and the Board of Governors of Hogwarts. And the Blacks - they have connections in all departments of the Ministry, including with the Minister of Magic himself! Imagine what would happen if they learned…"

"There will be nearly a week until the full moon when they visit," Hope told him. "Remus has been living with these boys all year. And it's not as if our home is full of evidence," she told him.

Remus thought briefly of the bloodstains on the basement floor, left from his transformation at Christmas, but thought it prudent not to bring this up.

"I'm not sure you understand the danger this puts him in. We never properly registered him - he could be taken away from us if the wrong people learn…"

"What kind of life will our son have if we let fear rule our lives forever?" Hope said. "I know the risk is always there, but we can't keep squirreling him away. You've seen how happy he came home at Christmas, even with a full moon on the way. He should be able to play with his friends like any normal boy. Besides, wouldn't it appear more suspicious if we refuse every invitation our son's friends extend?"

Lyall sighed. "I suppose you've already made up your mind on this, then."

"I have, in fact Remus has already sent invitations to his friends. It would be rude to renege now."

Lyall sighed again and turned to his son. "These boys are good friends to you?" He asked. "Even the Black boy?"

"Sirius is great," Remus said, thinking of the way the bigger boy always rushed forward to defend him against the Slytherin onslaught that never seemed to end. "Father, I know what they say about the Blacks - the whole school knows it - but I think you'll like Sirius." And Sirius needed every excuse he could get to escape his own house.

"And the Potter boy?"

"James is brilliant," Remus said fondly. "Always quick with a joke and making everyone laugh."

"Yes, I can see that based on our little meeting at King's Cross." His father didn't bother to ask about Peter - the Pettigrews didn't have the influence or connections of the other two families, and therefore weren't such a threat. "All right then, I suppose there's no reason not to let you enjoy some time with your friends." He glanced over Remus' head at Hope as he said that, and Remus knew he was wondering just how much time Remus would be able to enjoy before the truth spilled out. But Remus was far too excited about the thought of having his friends over the house to let the far-off future spoil his mood.

"Thank you!" Remus hugged his father around the waist, and the man returned the embrace.

The next day he received replies from James and Peter.

"Jolly good! I'm sure mum will be happy for an excuse to miss the St. Mungo's Gala - she's always complaining that she's too old to enjoy being paraded around on Dad's arm like a prize pony," James wrote. "See you next week! - James"

"Good idea Remus - my mom isn't likely to let me go anywhere without meeting the other parents first - I'm sure she'll be pleased by the invitation. Looking forward to seeing you! -Peter"

It wasn't until two days after that that Remus heard back from Sirius.

"Remus - thank you for the invite. Any excuse to get out of this house is a good one. Mum's away with Aunt Druella and the girls - wedding planning or some such nonsense - so the timing's perfect. I'm doubtful father will stay long, but he's agreed to drop me off. See you Friday."

Remus was secretly relieved that it would be Orion Black visiting, and not Walburga. He hadn't forgotten the Howler at the beginning of the year - he couldn't imagine the woman taking kindly to the Muggle house wired with electricity and with a motor car parked outside. Then again, Orion might be just the same as his wife. He couldn't find out Hope was a muggle. But Remus knew his mother was likely to take offense if he said anything to her. And if he said something to his father, he might try to call off the dinner altogether. So Remus decided to take covert precautions.

On Thursday Remus went with his mother down to the market to shop for the visit. After some deliberation, they decided on an herby roast chicken with onion-garlic mashed potatoes and brussel sprouts in a lemon garlic sauce on the side. There would be homemade hot rolls with dinner, and lemon tarts with blueberries for dessert. His mother also bought an assortment of cheese, crackers and grapes to lay out before the meal, and even two bottles of wine for the adults.

Remus felt a bit guilty for the expense, but his mother seemed rather pleased as the clerk packed up the ingredients.

"I suppose it's not as impressive at the feasts at school that you're so used to, but I promise it will taste delicious," she told him. "It's been a while since I've had an excuse to cook for a crowd!"

Remus had no doubt of this - his mother was an incredible cook. Later that evening he helped her with what prep-work could be done ahead. He also went around the house carefully placing old-school oil lanterns - he hoped this would distract Sirius' father from the muggle electrical work. The Lupin home had a combination of wizard and muggle photographs, so Remus carefully rearranged the wizarding ones to the front. He hid the telephone - they never used it much anyway - and the only television in the house was a small one in his parents' bedroom. He couldn't do anything about the ceiling fan - he hoped Orion didn't notice. He thought he'd never be able to sleep, but eventually slumber came to him as he read about the exploits of Newt Scamander and his fantastic beasts.

The boy awoke early Friday and set about helping his mother clean the house from top to bottom. This took most of the morning, and they settled in for a light lunch once the task was complete. Father had promised to be home by 3:30 p.m. - James and his mother were due to arrive at 4 and the Pettigrews at 4:30 p.m., but Remus had never received a specific time from Sirius and he was a bit apprehensive.

There was a loud crack from upstairs at 3:30 on the dot, and Remus knew his father had arrived. He rushed up the stairs to greet him, already dressed in his best set of school robes, his hair set meticulously by his mother.

"Well don't you look sharp," Lyall said as Remus rounded the corner into his parent's bedroom. "Does your mother need any help in the kitchen?"

"She kicked me out a few minutes ago and said everything was under control," Remus told him. "The Potters should be here in a half hour - they'll be apparating into the backyard, so as to not startle the Muggles. The Pettigrews will be in 30 minutes after that - they prefer to travel by Floo. I moved the grate aside so no one bumps their knees coming out of the fireplace."

"Good thinking," Lyall said. "Let me wash up quickly - it's been a long time since your mother and I have entertained and I know she won't be pleased if walk down smelling of Ministry office musk.

Indeed it was not often that the Lupins had company- if at all. Hope's muggle sister used to drop in with her three children when Remus was younger. His mother always planned the visits carefully around the moon cycle and they had been positively lovely, but his aunt's family had moved to Australia when Remus turned 8 and as muggle travel was far more tedious than the wizard systems, the families hadn't gotten together in years.

Remus supposed his parents had decided no one else was worth the risk, because he couldn't remember ever seeing guests in the house after he'd been bitten. He felt his confidence falter a bit, but found his resolve. It was only one evening - nothing would go wrong.

Half an hour later there was a loud crack from the backyard, and Remus rushed to the door to greet his guests.

"Oi, Remus!" James Potter was standing there grinning, next to the woman Remus had seen greet him at the train at the end of term.

Euphemia Potter was older than the average parent of a 12-year-old boy, her hair entirely silver and lines on her face. But she had one of those smiles that lit up her eyes and made her look far younger than her years.

"You must be Remus Lupin. I've heard so much about you," Mrs. Potter said, holding out a hand.

"Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Potter," Remus responded, shaking the hand firmly the way his father had taught.

"Oh, hello!" Lyall had come out to greet the guests as well. "Lyall Lupin," he said, smiling and holding out a hand to Mrs. Potter. "I believe I met your husband on the train platform after the Easter holidays. It's a pleasure to welcome you to our home."

"It's a pleasure to be here," Mrs. Potter responded smoothly. "Euphemia Potter. My husband sends his regrets - I'm afraid he had another engagement he couldn't get out of."

James was already fidgeting with unspent energy. "Can we go inside and explore the house?" He asked eagerly.

"Can we, Father?" Remus asked, looking up at the man.

"Of course boys - just stay out of your mother's way," Lyall said. "I'll show Mrs. Potter inside."

"Brilliant!" James said, bouncing away from his mother and toward Remus. "Lead the way!"

"Okay," Remus said, amused that James was showing such excitement at the prospect of exploring a house that couldn't be a third of the size of his own. He showed him in through the back door and into the laundry room.

"What's that?" James asked, pointing to the clothesline.

"To hang the clothes," Remus explained. "Mother can't use magic so that's how we get them dry after they're laundered."

"And I suppose this machine does the washing, then?" James asked, examining the machine and knobs carefully. "Sirius will get a kick out of that - judging by the way he talks he's never seen a wizarding washbin, let alone a Muggle washing machine."

"You're probably right," Remus said, wondering when Sirius would be showing up with his father. He hoped he didn't have to show Orion Black through the laundry room - that could blow any chance they had of sneaking the fact that Remus' mother is a muggle past him.

"When are Black and Petey getting here anyway?" James asked.

"Peter is coming by Floo at 4:30, but I'm not sure how Sirius and his father are arriving." The boys were walking into the kitchen now, and Remus smiled at the sight of his mother in a smart green dress with a pretty blue apron over it, putting the last touches on the chicken before popping it into the oven. Then he frowned. It was a muggle dress. Oh well, that couldn't be helped. His was fairly sure his mother didn't even own a pair of witch's robes. She was, however, wearing a goblin-made silver barrett in her hair - a wedding gift from her husband's parents. Remus could only hope Sirius' father focused on that aspect of her appearance.

"Mother, this is James," he said, introducing her proudly.

James smiled his most charming smile. "Thank you for having us tonight, Mrs. Lupin. I'm hoping to return the hospitality toward the end of August."

"Remus has mentioned that," Hope said, smiling down at the boy and offering her hand to shake. "I think it sounds lovely, though I may have a hard time parting with my son early."

James kissed the offered hand instead and began to pile on the charm. "I understand completely, Mrs. Lupin," he said seriously. "My mum was a right wreck when I was getting on the train first term. Tears down her face and everything. But there comes a time in a man's life when he must embrace the next great adventure and leave the safety of hearth and home, don't you think?"

Hope glanced at Remus and wrinkled her nose, obviously amused. "I suppose so." She turned her attention back to James. "Well enjoy yourselves tonight - there are snacks in the sitting room if you get peckish before the meal, and we'll eat at 5:30."

"Thank you, ma'am," James said. "Remus, can you show me your room now?"

"It's not all that exciting," Remus said, but he took his friend upstairs all the same. His room was full of books - muggle and magical alike - and board games, for a boy who spent two or three days bedbound every month needed things to entertain himself. There were also a handful of souvenirs out on the shelves from other places the family had lived - a purple and brown shell he'd found in the sand the year they lived by the shore in Liverpool, a piece of concrete with his handprint from their brief stint in London, a small collection of volcanic rock from the year they'd traveled through Iceland looking for a cure…

Remus shook his head to remove the less pleasant thoughts. James had pulled the Monopoly box out and was examining it carefully.

"What's this?" he asked.

"It's a Muggle game. You go around the board buying properties and such, collecting fees from others when they land on yours."

"Sounds interesting," James said. "Though I suppose you have to move the pieces yourself?"

"Well, yes," Remus said. "And it can run rather long if you only have a small group."

"Perhaps when Black and Petey get here we can give it a go," James said. As if on cue, Remus heard a loud crack from outside.

"I suppose that's Sirius and his father - Peter and his mother are coming by Floo." Remus said, turning to run down the stairs. "That sounded like it came from the front…" Remus frowned. Apparating into a muggle neighborhood in broad daylight was a risky maneuver. Surely Sirius had warned his father…

Remus and James reached the front door at the same moment Hope did. With trepidation, Remus pulled it open.

It was indeed Sirius and his father, who was wearing a pair of deep purple dress robes and looking around with disdain.

"Doesn't this silly little house have muggle repelling charms cast on it?" He asked by way of greeting. A neighbor across the street was looking at him rather strangely, and Remus hoped it was only for the robes and not because the woman had seen Orion and Sirius pop up as if out of nowhere.

"Well that wouldn't make much sense, seeing as Remus' mum's a - ouch Remus!" Remus elbowed James hard in the ribs to get him to stop speaking. "Hello Sirius!" He said brightly, taking the hint, and also continuing to use first names in front of the adults.

"How do you do, Mr. Black?" Remus' mother stepped in. "I'm Hope Lupin."

He took the hand and shook it, sizing up her muggle clothing. "Orion Black." He was looking around the entry-way.

"Thank you for having us, Mrs. Lupin," Sirius jumped in before his father could say anything further. "I very much appreciate it. Unfortunately father cannot stay - he has another engagement to attend. But he was kind enough to drop me off." Remus thought Orion looked like he was debating grabbing his son and leaving.

"I imagine you're being pulled away to the St. Mungo's gala, Orion?" Lyall and Euphemia had joined them, and it was clear the Blacks and the Potters knew each other, at least casually. "My husband will be there tonight as well."

"Ah, Euphemia," Mr. Black said, in a more pleasant tone than he'd just addressed Hope, but not by much. "This one is your boy? I believe we met at King's Cross." He pointed to James.

"Yes, and this is our host this evening, Remus Lupin," Mrs. Potter put her hand on Remus' head and smiled. "And Lyall Lupin, of course," she gestured to Remus' father, who was doing his best not to glower at Mr. Black. "It's really a shame you can't stay - Hope has laid out such a beautiful table."

Remus mentally thanked Mrs. Potter for her kind words and careful command of the situation. He could see where James got his budding leadership skills form.

"Well, I'm a busy man," Orion said. He turned to his son and handed him a vial of Floo powder. "You are to return no later than 10 p.m. Is that clear?"

"Yes Father," Sirius said in an obedient tone Remus wasn't used to hearing out of his friend's mouth.

Orion nodded, and without a word to the others, disapparated.

"Now really, to apparate onto a person's front steps without checking with the host first," Euphemia said as soon as Orion was gone. "Poor manners." She turned to Remus' mother and took both of her hands. "Your home is splendid."

"I'm sorry about that, Mrs. Lupin," Sirius said, looking miserable. "I don't think your neighbor saw anything. I suppose I should have mentioned you wouldn't have muggle repelling charms, obviously...but…"

But he was afraid Orion wouldn't have allowed him to come if he had, Remus finished silently in his head.

"Don't worry dear," Hope said, smiling at him. "Why don't you boys go into the sitting room and wait for the Pettigrews? Lyall, do be sure to greet Mrs. Pettigrew for me?"

"Of course dear," Lyall said, though he was giving Remus and Sirius both a strange look.

"I'll help you in the kitchen," Mrs. Potter said, following Hope back through the doorway.

The boys and Lyall trudged into the sitting room, where Sirius was immediately intrigued by the ceiling fan and lights above.

"How do they work?" He asked Mr. Lupin. The man pointed to the switch on the wall.

"Go give it a try."

"This should be good," James muttered under his breath to Remus.

Sirius tentatively approached the switch and flicked it, causing the lights to cast an incandescent glow across the room. "Whoa…" he said, flicking it again. The lights went out and he grinned. "So simple!" he cried gleefully. "No need for a wand or anything!"

James rolled his eyes, but Remus' father laughed. "Try the one next to it."

Sirius did so and his eyes widened as the fan blades started turning. "It makes wind!"

"Not exactly," Remus said, laughing along with James and his father.

"I must admit, I was equally impressed the first time Hope brought me home. I take it you've never been in a muggle house before?" Lyall asked.

"No sir," Sirius said.

"Wait until you see the washing machine," James said.

At that moment the fireplace flashed green and crackled and a boy and woman both stepped out.

"Remus!" Peter squeaked. "Hello!" he turned. "James! Sirius!"

"Hello Peter," Remus said. "Hello, Mrs. Pettigrew. Welcome to our home."

"Thank you," the woman said in a pleasant but rather high-pitched voice. She turned to his father. "Mildred Pettigrew. Thank you for having us. I'm so glad we're getting the chance to meet - Peter has been talking about the boys non-stop since he's been home."

"Mom…" Peter said, looking embarrassed.

"Remus has been doing the same," Lyall said with a wink in Peter's direction. "Lyall Lupin. My wife Hope and Mrs. Potter are in the kitchen. May I offer you something to drink?"

"Please," she said graciously.

Sensing that this interaction was going far better than the one with Mr. Black, Remus relaxed and turned back to Peter. "Shall we head back upstairs to my room?"

/

The evening at the Lupins had been a thoroughly enjoyable one for Sirius, once he'd gotten over his father's abominable manners. He knew he should have expected such behavior, but it felt shameful all the same. At least he hadn't figured out Mrs. Lupin was all muggle.

As it was, he'd looked at Mrs. Lupin with such disdain, even after being invited to her home for what turned out to be a positively delicious supper. She'd made roast chicken with mashed potatoes and brussel sprouts, and Sirius had helped himself to seconds of everything. Then he'd learned she'd cooked it all by hand - without a bit of magic.

"That's downright incredible," he'd said, staring at the plate in wonder.

"Not everyone has a house elf to serve them, you dimwit," James said. "Plenty of people cook themselves, and you don't see the muggles starving to death without magic, do you?"

"James, there's no need for name calling," his mother scolded.

"On the contrary, Mum, if I don't deflate Sirius at least once a day he gets a big head, and seeing as I haven't seen him in over a week, name calling is entirely necessary and long overdue," James said seriously.

Peter tittered with laugher and even Remus and the adults looked amused.

"Of course I know not everyone has house elves," Sirius said, ignoring his friend's rudeness. "And I know people cook - but not everyone cooks this well." He flashed a smile in Mrs. Lupin's direction. "This is one of the best meals I've ever had," he said honestly.

Hope smiled at him. "Thank you, dear. So, Remus tells me you've cousins at school?"

"Just Cissy now," Sirius said, nodding. "She's in Slytherin though, so I won't see her much." He didn't want to talk about Andromeda. He hadn't heard from her since school let out - he assumed because she didn't think it was safe to write him at home. Even so, it made him sad.

"Your whole family's been sorted into Slytherin, hasn't it?" Lyall asked. "Your father was in my year, and Alphard Black was a year ahead of me."

"Yes, the whole lot of them were in Slytherin," Sirius said dejectedly. "But I've a little brother I'm hoping may join me in Gryffindor." He brightened when he imagined the prospect. "I'm hoping to usher in an age of change for the family," he said, remembering what James had said to Narcissa on the day of his sorting.

"And to take some Slytherin berks down a notch or two in the process," James added happily.

"So you're not proud of the illustrious Black name?" Lyall asked, a hint of mocking in his tone.

"Father!"

"Lyall!" Remus and his mother had spoken at the same time, before Sirius could formulate a response. He'd feared his friend's mixed family may not take kindly to his family's reputation, but he hadn't expected the topic to rise up at supper.

"You're right, I'm sorry, that wasn't an appropriate question for a child," Lyall said.

"It's okay, sir," Sirius said, though his heart was pounding in his chest. The last thing he wanted was for Remus to be banned from spending time with him, especially with all the plans they had for the visit to the Potter's later that summer. "I am sorry about my father's behavior earlier."

"No, I am sorry," Mr. Lupin said, standing up. "It seems I've had a few glasses of wine and took my temper out on a boy who deserves none of the blame for his father's transgressions." His cheeks were rather red.

"Well, to be fair, your parents do seem to make a fair amount of transgressions," James spoke up. "Remember the Howler first term?"

"James," Remus said sharply, but before he could continue Mrs. Potter sniffed.

"Howlers. Such a nasty way to discipline a child. Don't you agree?" She asked Mrs. Lupin and Mrs. Pettigrew, as if the awkwardness at the table had not just happened.

"Quite," Mrs. Pettigrew agreed.

"I'm sorry, but what is a Howler?" Mrs. Lupin asked curiously.

"It's a terrible letter that yells at you," Peter chimed in. "They come in these bright red envelopes and amplify your voice. The echo in the Great Hall is just awful."

"Sirius' mother sent him one when he was sorted into Gryffindor. Shouted all kinds of awful things and even used the slur mu-"

"This is not appropriate dinnertime talk," Mrs. Potter cut off her son. "Remus dear, James tells me you're a bit of a bookworm. We have an entire library at our house that I'm afraid doesn't get nearly as much use as it should. I would love for you to come take a look and pick out a few books this summer, if your parents are comfortable with it."

Sirius marveled at Mrs. Potter's ability to change the subject and smooth over a situation so effortlessly. Mr. Lupin had sat back down and was nodding.

"That would be lovely, but I couldn't take your books…" Remus was saying.

"Tosh," she said. "We have so many. We won't miss two or three."

"Careful Mum," James said. "I'm not exaggerating when I say that Remus has as many as 30 books in his area of the dorm at any given time. One afternoon Peter knocked into one of the stacks and it took us 10 minutes to dig him out."

The whole table laughed. "Remus does take his reading quite seriously," Hope said. "Why, by the time he was six years old he was reading me bedtime stories instead of the reverse."

The comment reminded Sirius of Remus' frequent disappearances, which he pinned on his mother's chronic illness. He eyed the woman critically, but Mrs. Lupin looked perfectly healthy, even after hours in the kitchen whipping up an extraordinary meal. Curious.

The table conversation continued without further incident and then Mrs. Lupin ushered everyone into the sitting room while she cleared up, promising pudding within the hour. James had engaged Mr. Lupin in a conversation about boggarts, which Sirius remembered Remus had mentioned as his father's specialty. Sirius wished he had thought to do that - perhaps he could have ingratiated himself to Mr. Lupin that way.

Mrs. Pettigrew and Mrs. Potter had insisted on assisting Mrs. Lupin in the kitchen, though they must have been doing it the Muggle way, because it was taking a far bit longer than usual.

"Remus," Sirius said, finally having a moment to grab his friend when Peter went off to the loo. "I am sorry about my father, truly."

"Don't worry about it Sirius. And I'm sorry about what Father said - he didn't mean anything by it."

"If he went to school with my father, perhaps he did," Sirius said darkly. "Though Uncle Alphard's an all right sort. Listen - you don't think…"

Remus looked at him expectantly, but the words had caught in his throat. "Don't think what, Sirius?"

"You don't think your parents are going to ban you from spending time with me because of it, do you?" Sirius said, giving voice to his fears. He was feeling wretched about the possibility, but he knew there was a chance of it. He also knew there was just as likely a chance that his own parents would ban him from returning to the Lupin household now that Orion had seen the muggle neighborhood, though he prayed that his father failed to mention that to his mother. Orion tended to be fairly forgetful, so it was possible. If it did come up, Sirius could point out that a good many wizarding families now lived in muggle areas. Why, his family's house was hidden between two muggle buildings!

"What?" Remus looked bewildered. "Of course not. Mother finds you entirely charming - I could tell - and Father...well...Father may not like the idea of me visiting you at your house…" he admitted. "But in the end he'll go along with whatever Mother decides."

"Are you certain?" he pressed.

"Yes," Remus said forcefully. "And even if they didn't like you, I would never stop spending time with you. And James certainly wouldn't stand for it."

"I certainly won't stand for it!" James jumped in. "What is it I'm not standing for?"

Sirius laughed, comforted by Remus' words. "You just agreed without having any idea what we were talking about?"

"I figured if Remus said it it wouldn't be entirely outlandish. He knows my character fairly well." He turned to Remus. "Do you suppose we can pull out that muggle game now and give it a try?"

"Monopoly?" Remus asked. "You really want to play?"

"Sure, I'm always up for trying new things," James responded. "Maybe Mum can enchant the pieces to move for us."

"Just play it the muggle way Potter, don't be so lazy," Sirius teased, settling into an armchair by the fireplace.

"I'll go get the game," Remus said, turning to go upstairs. Sirius took the opportunity to look around the room. The Lupins had a rather small house - the sitting room was smaller than Sirius' bedroom - but he liked it far better than home. He hoped his father would forget about Remus' Muggle mother. He wanted to return to this place - this home so obviously full of love.

/

The start of the summer holidays had been splendid for Peter. His mother, having missed him and abhorred the empty house during the school year, doted on him mercilessly. She had been pleased with his exam results, which were nothing special but had turned respectable thanks to the help of his friends, and had approved of his friends and their parents when she'd met them all at the Lupin household.

Things at the Pettigrew household were rather quiet compared to Hogwarts, but Peter was happy. There were no Slytherins to hide from, no Sirius mood swings to navigate, no Remus disappearances to fret over. On her days off from the Wizarding bookshop where she worked his mother took him on outings all over - sometimes on magical ones to see a Quidditch match or visit a historic Wizarding site, and sometimes on Muggle excursions like mini golf.

What was particularly remarkable about that summer was the fact that Mildred Pettigrew sometimes made mention of her late husband in casual conversation. Peter had nearly choked on his butterbeer the first time she did it, at a minor league Quidditch match when she told Peter that his father had been a Puddlemere United fan. When they were mini-golfing, she told Peter of how his father was fascinated by muggle sports, particularly one called football, which was played on a field with a large ball the players kicked around with their feet. One day at the beach she told him that Paul, for all his Gryffindor bravado, had been terribly afraid of sharks and refused to go in the water without his wand, just in case he came across one.

All these little anecdotes, no matter how trivial, were great treasures to Peter, even after hearing bits and pieces from the portraits and house elves at Hogwarts during the school year.

"Mom," he said one night when she was reading Witch's Weekly on the couch and he was practicing his chess. "Do I remind you of my father?"

His mother smiled a soft smile. "You look like him," she said. "And when you laugh, you sound just like him."

Peter smiled back. It was nice to know he had something in common.

"And I'm sure you'll grow up to be brave, like he was, even if it causes trouble…" she said.

Peter cocked his head and turned to her, curious.

"What do you mean?" He asked her.

She sighed. "I suppose you're old enough to know now. Your father was a strong supporter of muggle-magical relations. He worked very hard to improve affairs between the two groups. But not everyone approved of it."

"And?" Peter asked, not sure he really wanted to know the answer.

His mother sighed again. "They never caught anyone, but the Aurors always believed the real reason your father was targeted was because of his work…"

"Like those poor people in the newspaper?" Peter said before he could stop himself.

His mother looked shocked. "You've been reading those awful things in the paper, darling?"

He shrugged. "Remus reads the paper. And then he James and Sirius discuss it. Sirius' family is very politically involved, so he hears a lot at home."

"I see." She frowned. "Well, my dear, you're still a bit young for all that. I'm not sure I can approve of you seeing that kind of news."

"Mom, I can hardly avoid it forever," he said. "Besides, if I leave, James and Sirius will make fun." Or get angry. Sirius took it as a personal affront when Peter tried to sneak off during those discussions - one of the nice things of being home for the summer was the ability to avoid Sirius and those dark moods of his.

She got up from her seat and walked over to him, running a hand through his hair. "Oh, if only I could keep you as my little baby forever," she said sadly. "Then I would be able to keep you safe. No one sets out to murder a baby over its belief system."

"Well, I'm not a baby," Peter said, a bit alarmed at what his friends would think if they ever heard her say such a thing. "But, Mom...if you don't want to talk about those things in the paper, we don't have to." It was a cop out - he knew it when he said it. But it was such an easy solution for avoiding the subject at home. At home, he didn't have to worry about what James and Sirius and even Remus might think. At home, he could be himself, 100 percent.

"Yes, let's talk about something else," his mother said, smiling. "Do tell me again about your talent in Herbology - a mother loves hearing her child takes after her!"

/

Lily had been dreading the summer holidays - home would never again feel like home without her father. But her mother's such obvious joy made it easier on her heart than she thought it would be, and even Petunia seemed to be making an effort.

"So what's it like, going to school with boys?" Petunia, who was 14 and just seeing her breasts fill out, asked Lily. Her sister also went to boarding school, but it wasn't a co-ed institution. "Do they try to sneak into your rooms at night?" The girls were laying on Lily's bed.

"I've heard they try, but the staircases stop them," Lily told her sister.

"Oh." Petunia stiffed for a moment, but then relaxed. "Is that like, a magic thing?"

Lily nodded. "The staircases turn to slides when the boys try to come upstairs. It's really quite funny."

Her sister giggled. "That does sound funny. So they can't reach your rooms. But what about during the day? Is there a lot of snogging in the common areas?"

Lily shrugged. "Some, especially with the sixth and seventh years."

Tuney giggled again. "Are there any boys you'd like to snog someday, Lils?"

"Tuney!" Lily blushed, which she always hated, because she knew it made her skin the same color as her hair. "I don't like anyone like that."

"Really? Because this one here is so handsome." Lily had brought home a class photo and put it up in her room after promising her mother to put it away if any muggle friends came to visit. Petunia was pointing at Sirius Black.

"Everyone thinks Black is handsome," Lily laughed. "And I suppose he is. But he's also a prat. You wouldn't like him at all."

"Really?" The older girl frowned. "That's a shame. The rest of them are so boyish."

"Well they are two years younger than you, Tuney."

Her sister sighed and leaned back on Lily's bed. "You're right. I suppose I should be looking at older men." She got a dreamy look on her face. "A blond one, with blue eyes and strong shoulders."

Lily wasn't really interested in boys yet, but she played along, happy to be getting on so well with her sister after their issues at the beginning of the school year. "I prefer the tall, dark and handsome type myself."

Petunia scoffed. "Like your little friend from across the tracks? The one who hardly uses soap?"

"His name is Severus, Tuney," Lily said reprovingly. "And I'm not saying I like Sev like that - we're just friends."

Her sister clucked her tongue. "He's weird, Lily. And not just because he's...well, you know." She gestured awkwardly. "I mean, how is he doing at that school of yours? Why isn't he in this photo?"

"He's in a different House," Lily admitted. "I don't really know his friends that well."

"He has friends?" The other girl said, a mean smirk tugging at her face.

"Tuney!"

"All right, all right." She held her hands up in defeat. She picked up the photo once again. "Tell me more about the handsome prat. Do you think he'd be into a normal girl like me?"

Lily sighed, and began describing the shenanigans of Sirius Black and James Potter, and not in a flattering manner. But every few moments she had to stop to explain something.

"Wait- the staircases move?" Petunia asked when Lily described the cruel prank Potter had tried to play on her and the disaster it caused.

"They turned books into mice? MICE?"

"But I don't understand how they turned his hair blue without hair dye."

After a while, Lily sighed and gave up. "All you need to know is that James Potter and Sirius Black are wicked troublemakers. They wouldn't be your type at all."

"Oh, I don't know, I think I could like the bad boy type," Petunia said, her eyes dreamy.

Lily couldn't help but snort. "Tuney, all you've ever talked about is meeting a guy at uni, marrying him once you graduate and settling down to have babies." Lily knew her sister already had her dream wedding planned and was hoping for one little boy and one girl.

"What do you know about guys anyway?" Her sister snapped, startling her. "You're only 12."

"We were just talking…" Lily said quietly. She could feel the tension in the room increasing.

"Hmpft." Petunia examined Lily's class picture once again. "I could never really date one of the boys from your school anyway. I mean, what would my friends think if I brought around some kind of freak?"

"Freak?" Lily repeated. She knew her sister was purposely trying to get a rise out of her, but it was working. "Not this again. We're not freaks."

"Really? Your school things include frog spawn and beetle eyes. That's pretty freakish, if you ask me." Petunia was on a roll now, and Lily felt her face redding, her temper taking over.

"You're just jealous you can't do the things I do," Lily said to her sister, getting off the bed. "You always were mad when I made the flowers grow and you couldn't."

"Please, I have better things to do then grub around in a garden," Petunia snapped, also jumping off the bed. "At least mom isn't afraid to bring me around normal people."

"Well at least - what?" Lily forgot what she'd been planning to say after her sister's comment. "What do you mean?"

Her sister gave a cruel laugh. "What, you haven't noticed? Mom stopped hosting book club and garden club because she's afraid you might do or say something freakish while the house is full of all those people. She told me to keep an eye out for you, in fact."

Lily didn't want to believe what her sister was saying, but at the same time, she had noticed her mother going out to clubs this summer rather than hosting as she used to. While she wasn't totally convinced, knowing her sister might say something just to hurt her, there was a chance it was not a complete lie, and that tore her apart.

"GET OUT!" Lily screamed, shoving her sister as hard as she could toward the door. Either Lily didn't know her own strength or she had a magical boost, because the older girl went flying far more violently than Lily had expected. Petunia turned back to look at Lily, her face shocked, but the door slammed shut without Lily touching it.

Lily, her eyes now filling with tears, threw herself down on her bed, shoved her face into her pillow, and cried.


	33. Summer Continues

After a horrible start to the summer holiday, Lily Evans was determined to see things improve. And so, despite the late hour after her fight with Petunia, and despite not being allowed to use magic, and despite the fact that she had never actually been invited to Severus' house because he hated it there, she decided to see her friend.

Lily knew exactly which house it was - the smallest and most dilapidated, even by Spinner's End standards. This didn't bother her in the slightest - in fact, the overgrown ivy on the side of the house made it easy for her to climb up to the dingy second-floor window she was fairly sure belonged to Severus. She could heard two adults arguing below, but their voices were only slightly raised and Lily was confident she would avoid their notice anyhow.

She could see a shadow through the dirty glass and she grinned. Severus was upstairs. Weaving one arm and her legs through the ivy to ensure she didn't fall, she let go with the other arm and knocked on the window.

The shadow made a jerky movement, then the window opened.

"What in Salazar's name are you doing?" Severus hissed at her, sticking his head out the window and taking in her position. "Has Gryffindor robbed you of all sense of self-preservation?"

"Help me in before I fall," she told him, ignoring the jibe. "I'm not sure how long this ivy will hold."

He immediately stuck out and arm to her and helped her climb into the window.

"Thank you," she said, dusting herself off. Then she took a good look around. Severus' room was small but serviceable. A faded Slytherin banner hung over the bed. The crest was a slightly different style than the one she was used to seeing at school.

"Is this vintage?" she asked him, stepping forward and fingering it gently.

"It was my mother's from when she was in school," he told her. "She gave it to me as a congratulations for my sorting. She made me put the rest of my school things away to keep _him_ happy, but she told him I was allowed to display the banner." He said it with a touch of pride. Lily didn't know the details, but she did know Severus' father wasn't keen on magic, despite his witch wife.

Lily smiled. "What a lovely gift," she said. She didn't have anything representing Gryffindor in her room yet - her parents had promised a frivolous shopping trip this summer to Diagon Alley to deck out her room with magical memorabilia, but that was when her father was still alive. As it was now, she wasn't entirely sure her mother would remember that promise, and she wasn't about to ask.

Severus shrugged. "I already have all her old school books, her old cauldron, and her dragonskin gloves." This time, she detected bitterness in his voice. He seemed to realize it too, because he changed topics. "You do realize that now that we're home our meetings don't have to be limited to a secret nighttime rendezvous? Not that I'm not happy to see you, of course."

"I know that," she told him. "I just wanted to talk.

"About what?" He asked.

"Well, Petunia and I had a fight…" She sat down on the worn rug, deciding it would be rude to sit on his bed without permission.

"Ah. Petunia." Lily knew Severus had a great dislike for her sister - he did a poor job of hiding it. "What lovely thing did she say this time? Did she reuse her favorite, uncreative term for us?"

"She did call me a freak again," Lily admitted. "But that's not what upset me…"

"I don't know why you let anything she says upset you," he broke in. "She's just jealous, you know. You're magical and she's not. You're destined for a life full of wonder and excitement, and she's not. Nothing she says matters."

"Yes but, she said my mother has stopped hosting club nights because she's afraid of my magic in the house. Do you suppose that's true?"

The boy frowned and looked thoughtful. "Lily...your parents were more excited than mine were when our letters came last year. Your father just died. To me, it seems far more likely that your mother has just given up some of the things she used to do for that reason."

That was...entirely logical. Lily couldn't believe she hadn't thought of that herself. Severus was always so perceptive.

"I could double check, if you'd like."

"Double check?" Lily asked, not sure what he meant.

A small smile formed on the boy's face, and Lily knew he was about to let her in on something.

"I've been practicing something special at school," he told her. "A branch of magic they don't teach in class because it's 'too advanced.' But my mother says nothing is too advanced if you take it step by step."

"What is it?" Lily asked curiously.

His smile widened, and he pulled a chest out from under the bed. He rifled around for a moment, then pulled a worn book from within.

"It's called Legilimency. It's magic that helps you dissect the thoughts and feelings of another person." He handed her the book. "Then there's Occlumency, which is the art of protecting against Legilimency. They go hand in hand, of course."

"Like mind-reading?" She asked him.

His wrinkled his forehead. "No, not exactly. The mind is multi-layered, you can't just read it. You have to learn how to find what you want to find."

"Still sounds like mind-reading to me" Lily said, flipping through the book he'd handed her. There was something off-putting about the idea that another witch or wizard could get inside your head. "How much of this can you actually do?"

"So far? Not much," he admitted. "It's hard to discern actual, clear thoughts. But determining someone's emotions - that's easier. And determining whether a statement is truth or a lie - that's something I've been working on."

"How do you do it? Is it a spell? Does it require a wand?"

"An accomplished Legilimens does not require a wand, but it does require eye contact," he said with a degree of excitement in his voice. "Of course, for now, I require a wand and the spell."

"Hmm." Lily didn't feel comfortable casting a spell on her mother. "Let's hold off on trying that on my mum. I'll just ask her directly."

Severus shrugged. "That's such a Gryffindor approach," he told her, but without malice.

She shrugged back. From her brief flip through the book, Legilimency seemed to be a difficult branch of magic. She wondered what prompted Severus to start his studies, and again, she wondered what went on in Slytherin house.

/

Despite all the joys the first year at Hogwarts had brought him, Remus found himself apprehensive about his first transformation at home for the summer, suffering the same nagging fear he used to before meeting Madam Pomfrey.

What was worse? It made him feel immensely guilty. Had his father not fixed his wounds for seven long years? Were his mother's loving ministrations not good enough for him?

His feelings were only exacerbated when his father sat him down the night before the transformation, and pulled out a list.

"Madam Pomfrey was kind enough to send along some instruction for me," Lyall said. "She said these incantations can help reduce the pain post-transformation."

"It's not necessary, Father," Remus told him. "I've always gotten by just fine with your care."

The man, who had been reviewing the list, stopped to look at his son and sighed. "Remus, there's no need to be a martyr. If it helps you manage, I'm happy to learn a few more spells."

This only made Remus feel worse. Who was he to ask this thing of his father, who already did so much more than most fathers? What man wanted a werewolf for a child? But Remus' father had never blamed his son for the condition of their lives. It was ungrateful for Remus to imagine anything more.

"I don't want to be a bother," Remus said quietly.

Lyall's eyebrows shot up into his forehead. "A bother? Remus, what in the world makes you think you're a bother?"

He laughed darkly. "Oh, and I imagine harboring a werewolf is a relaxing activity."

His father stared at him for a moment as if he didn't even recognize him, and slowly it occured to Remus that sarcasm was a new thing for him, a behavior brought out at school by his friends. With James and Sirius it was so natural and it seemed funny. But when speaking to his father it just felt rude.

"Father, I'm sorry I -"

The man held up a hand. "Remus John Lupin, did you just make a joke about your lycanthropy?"

The boy cringed. His father never used his middle name. "Err...technically…" he said.

"That's what I thought," the man said. He then crossed his arms and appeared to be in deep thought, so deep in fact that Remus was a bit afraid to speak.

"Um...father?" He finally said after what felt like several minutes passed. "I didn't meant to give you cheek. It just...came out…"

"What?" The man looked at his son as if he'd forgotten he was there, then recovered. "Is that the way you speak around your friends?"

"What?" It was Remus' turn to make that exclamation. "Of course not! They don't know anything about my condition! I would never -"

"I meant," his father said, putting one hand on his shoulder, "the joke. Do you make jokes with your friends?"

"Oh. Well of course. In fact, James and Remus think I'm quite witty," Remus said with a hint of pride. "Father - why do you have that look on your face?"

Lyall's eyes looked unusually shiny, as if holding back years. The man stood up suddenly, the wooden chair he'd been sitting in making a loud noise as it dragged across the floor. Then he scooped his son up in a hug.

"Father - what-"

"I'll be honest, harboring a werewolf may not be relaxing," his father told him, "but it's worth every minute to see my son growing into a smart-mouthed teenager."

"I'm only 12…" Remus said hopelessly. His dark mood dissipated in light of this strange interaction.

"Close enough," Lyall said with a laugh, putting his son down. "Now, sit down and review these spells with me. I'm an old man out of practice studying new skills."

Remus was always a perceptive child. He imagined it must be exciting for a parent to watch the milestones in a child's life. First smile. First steps. First signs of magic. First words. But it hadn't occurred to him that the first use of a sarcastic joke would be a milestone. But after his father said it, Remus felt some release on the guilty knot of his stomach. His father loved him. Of course, his father understood a trained healer did a better job of keeping him comfortable, and his father truly did not mind learning from her. By the end of the night, though his body was aching and he knew what lay ahead of him, Remus was feeling better.

Remus woke up the day after the full moon and groaned, stretching his arms carefully to check for injuries. His pinky finger was bent in a direction it should not go. He had a long gash on his left forearm. Nothing too bad.

He moved on to his legs. They were sore but it seemed only minor scratches plagued him there. His abdomen appeared to be in one piece. His head was pounding with the usual headache, but nothing any worse.

"Remus?" His father called. The boy heard the creak of the stairs and knew his father and his mother were already on their way. "How are you?"

"Not bad," he answered honestly in his usual raspy voice. It seemed his interaction with his father the night before had been good for his agitation level, because the wolf hadn't been too violent.

"Good, because we have something for you," his mother said.

"What?" Remus was always groggy after a night without sleep. Surely he'd heard wrong. He was in no condition for anything other than bed.

His father knelt beside him and began assessing his injuries, as he'd done since Remus was a young boy. "I told your mother we should wait, but she's rather eager to give it to you know. Can you handle staying awake just a few more minutes?"

Curiosity peaked, Remus nodded. His mother clapped her hands together as if delighted and rushed forward with a wet cloth to wipe the blood and sweat off her son.

A few minutes later Remus was tucked up in bed.

"Let me go get it," Hope Lupin said, her face flush with excitement. She rushed out the bedroom door Remus gave his father a quizzical look, but Lyall just winked at him.

A moment later she returned and Remus let out a gasp.

"Do you like her?" His mother asked.

Remus couldn't form words, and it had nothing to do with his dry throat. His mother was holding an iron birdcage, and in it was a beautiful young owl. The Lupins had never had an owl - they were an expense that wasn't really necessary when you only wrote a few letters a year.

"She's for me?" He finally managed to ask.

His mother nodded. "Isn't she lovely? The shopkeeper said she's a little owl - that's the breed, not just her size. She's not suitable for carrying packages, but she should be up for the job of sending letters to and from Hogwarts, and back and forth between you and your friends on the holidays."

"But-but- owls are so expensive!" He turned to his father, confused. He'd always been well-cared for, but it was no secret that the Lupins lived on a carefully controlled budget ever since they used their savings traveling the world searching for a solution to an incurable condition.

"So are constant trips to the post office," Lyall said. He was smiling down on his son. "And I have a son with three frequent correspondents."

And then it clicked for Remus. The Lupins hadn't written many letters up until he went off to school. But now, between letters to and from his parents and to and from his friends, post was a regular occurance.

"I could write less frequently…" Remus whispered, still staring at the bird with a sense of disbelief. "Or use a school owl…"

"Nonsense," Hope said. "Besides, those friends of yours might worry." She sat down on the edge of his bed and opened the door of the cage. The owl, as if sensing who she was meant for, flew out and landed gently on Remus' shoulder, hooting quietly.

He reached up to stroke her.

"You're growing into a young man," Lyall said. "Your mother and I are very proud of that, and we thought you deserved a reward for all your hard work this year."

"Thank you," Remus whispered, still stroking the bird. He'd always loved animals - after a transformation, there was always something comforting about being around something that didn't care that he was only part human.

But this owl represented so much more than that. This owl represented the fact that there were people out there in the world that wanted to hear from him. This owl meant he could send letters, even cooped up in his bed after a transformation.

/

Summer at the Black household hadn't been as awful as Sirius had expected. His mother seemed to be so distracted between the Andromeda scandal and Bella's upcoming nuptials that she couldn't find time to use unforgivable curses on a minor, and while he'd been confined to the manor, rather than suffer punishment, Sirius was being ignored entirely. Orion had either forgotten to mention or chosen not to speak of Remus' muggle neighborhood, which meant Sirius had gotten off with just a stern lecture on proper wizarding pride and appropriate spells to hide one's residence from the dangers of a common muggle. This treatment may have been neglectful but for Sirius, this was an incredible freedom and so far the summer had been as close to pleasant as he could have hoped for.

Though Bellatrix was not her daughter, Walburga was deeply involved in the wedding planning. It was to be a lavish affair, to show off the Black fortune of course, with 600 guests in attendance.

Sirius had been dreading it ever since the engagement ceremony, but he'd put it in the back of his mind until his mother came into his room one night and instructed him to be dressed and ready to go by noon the next day.

Walburga had chosen stiff formal black dress robes for Sirius with silver accents, as he'd expected. Sirius dressed properly without being told, but slipped his wand in his pocket. All the pureblood children that had pestered him all year at Hogwarts would be at this wedding - and of course, Rodolphus Lestrange. He wasn't about to go unarmed.

But the day, much like the summer, was to be far better than he ever could have hoped, and it started when he spotted two fiery redheads when he arrived with his parents.

"Prewett?" He said. Both heads turned, and sure enough, Gideon and Fabian Prewett were in attendance. He was shocked to see them for a moment, but it did make sense - the Prewetts were pureblood, and while they might not garner an invite to the average party, the Blacks and Lestranges were shrewd enough to remember to invite young, eligible purebloods to any significant event.

Fabian, who did not know Sirius, looked around confused until Gideon jumped to his feet.

"Black!" He said jovially, approaching Sirius and his family. "Wonderful to see you!" He turned to Sirius' mother and gave a small bow. "Mrs. Black."

"Gideon," she said in her fake sugary voice. "My, how you've grown. You and your brother both. Are you of age this year?"

"Last year, actually," he told her. "I just finished my NEWTs and my final year at Hogwarts."

"I see. And how have you been keeping yourself busy since then?" She asked. Sirius knew this was a test - if he gave a satisfactory answer, she would continue the conversation. If not, she would cut it short."

"I've managed an entry-level position at Gringotts," he told her. "I'm on track to enter curse-breaking training." Sirius graded this answer as an 'Acceptable.' Walburga would not like any job that required regular interaction with goblins, but it was impossible to ignore the talent required for curse-breaking.

Walburga nodded, impressed in spite of herself. "Well, it seems like you're doing well for yourself, at any rate. It's a shame about your sister."

"Molly?" Gideon said. "Oh, don't worry, motherhood suits her perfectly. Baby number two is on the way."

"Really?" Sirius asked. "Already?"

His mother sniffed and spoke before Gideon could reply. "Well, at least she's doing her part to continue the bloodlines. Pity she had to choose a Weasley."

Before Gideon could muster a response, she flitted off, Orion and Regulus following behind.

"Errr...sorry about that…" Sirius said awkwardly.

Gideon just shrugged. "She's the third person to make such a comment. I expected it in this crowd."

"Then why come?" Sirius asked curiously.

"It's always good to hear what your enemies are saying about you," Gideon said with a grin. "Plus, free food and open bar. Now, do you remember my brother Fabian? You were quite small last time you meet..."

Sirius wound up having a wonderful time with the Prewetts in between all the moments that called for him to sit or stand with his family. Gideon was jovial as ever and Fabian seemed to get a kick out of hearing about the first ever Black in Gryffindor and the mischief he was causing. The young Black tried to gather any hints about what Fabian might be up to, or a possible connection to Dumbledore, but the older boys seemed determined to keep the conversation light and about girls, which suited Sirius fine for one evening.

Finding himself far more content at the event than he'd ever imagined, Sirius fended off Nolan Avery and Miracella Selwyn with sharp words, both satisfied Narcissa and distracted Lucius Malfoy by pointing out just how lovely his cousin looked in her robes, pleased his grandfather by dropping a word or two about the latest legislation on banking that had been in the prophet (which he'd picked up from Gideon just a moment before), and delighted his grandmother by sitting down with her and Regulus to humble brag about his marks (in front of Isabella Selwyn, whose granddaughter wasn't nearly as academically gifted).

Bella, to Sirius' great surprise, was downright kind to him that night. He supposed she was so proud of the match she'd made in Lestrange that she forgot to be her normally unpleasant self. When it was his turn to dance with her, which was required by Black tradition, she whispered in his ear.

"I understand Rolph gave you trouble at school last year. I can assure you that behavior will not extend past his school boy years. We have more important manners to worry over now," she told him.

"Like what?" Sirius asked suspiciously.

Again, to his surprise, his cousin blushed. "Why, we plan to start a family right away, of course," she said. "I can't wait to hold my beautiful, pure babies in my arms."

Sirius suppressed the urge to laugh as he waltzed her around the dance floor. "Really? You were never much interested in me or Regulus, as far as I remember."

"Well you were a terror," she told him. "Besides, I was young then, and didn't understand how important bloodline was then."

Sirius sighed. And so the conversation was talking this turn.

"Continuing our pure line is the most important thing I can do for this family," Bellatrix continued. "And with our combined fortunes, we should be able to support a large family." Her eyes twinkled. "You'll come around for Christmas of course, as long as you don't wear that horrid Gryffindor red."

Sirius gave an amused chuckle. He had no intention of spending time with any brats produced by Bellatrix and Rodolphus. But he was relieved that her mind was on procreation, rather than other, more violent activities. "Let's hope the children get your looks," he told her, trying hard not to ruin the moment by saying something to set her off.

She giggled, and Sirius knew he had played his cards wisely.

At the end of the evening when he returned home with Regulus and his parents, Orion pulled him aside.

"You did well tonight," Orion told him. "You were gracious with the guests and took good care of the bride. You represented the Black name well. Perhaps there is hope for you yet, even in Gryffindor House." The man clapped his son on his shoulder then headed up the stairs after his wife.

His father's words, rather than making him proud, make Sirius feel rather ill. It was really too easy to slip back into the aristocratic world he was born into. What would James and Remus think if they'd seen him flittering around the crowd, interacting with people who they all but knew fraternized with pureblood fanatics?

He went to bed feeling uneasy, and looking forward to escaping to the Potter household at the end of the summer.

/

James was pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace impatiently. Sirius was supposed to show up any minute, and James wanted to get started on their summer plans right away.

The boy was somewhat disappointed that Remus wouldn't be joining them for another week - though Sirius was admittedly James' favorite person to get into mischief with, and the only one able to match him, Remus had a special way about him as well - a quiet humor that popped up unexpectedly in a way that James thoroughly enjoyed. Remus was also his conscience and voice of reason, which he tended to leave behind when Sirius as around.

Peter was unable to visit - apparently his mother had booked a surprise trip to Majorca with the cousins this year. James was disappointed of that as well - Peter in his bumbling way always seemed to see the excitement even in the littlest of things, and cheer him and Sirius on even in the most menial of tasks.

But still, Sirius Black was coming to the estate for an entire fortnight. James had always longed for siblings to run around with, though with his parents advanced age that simply hadn't been in the cards. He supposed that it was a disappointment for them just as much as him.

Not that James ever wanted for much of anything - as he was about to show Sirius when he arrived - he had all manner of toys and games to play with, and because James wasn't certain Sirius would be allowed to bring his own, his father had even consented to buy an extra broomstick so he and Sirius could play Quidditch this summer. James had considered pushing for one for Remus, but decided his skinny friend would have been a bit of a liability in the air and probably more content on the ground with a book.

The fireplace crackled and flashed green, and Sirius appeared, lugging his trunk along with him. As it turned out, he had been allowed a broom, which he held in his armpit.

"Yo!" James said, grabbing his friend in a hug before he'd even stepped out of the fireplace. "Welcome to Potter Manor. So glad you're here. Ready to do some flying?"

"You don't waste any time, Potter," Sirius said, laughing. "Can I stow this thing away somewhere first?" He lifted the trunk.

"Oh right, come on then, down this hall." James led the way down the wide hallway, which was decorated with cheery landscape portraits and mirrors. "There are two guest bedrooms - you get first pick as the guest to arrive earliest." He flung open the doors to two rooms across from each other. "They all have attached bathrooms so just take your pick."

Sirius poked his head in each and eyed them critically. "I'll take this one," he said, picking the more modest of the two, a simple room painted light blue with two full-sized beds separated by a dresser. Each bed was made up with a navy and white bedspread, the comforters full of goose down and the sheets a soft cotton. A large picture window was decorated with gauzy white curtains and overlooked the fields. Next to each bed stood little oak nightstands with dragonbone lamps on top. A small white door on the wall across from the beds led to the bathroom.

"Really?" James asked. "I figured you'd be used to a little more luxury. The other room's got a king-sized bed."

"But the view!" Sirius said, gesturing to the window. "You can't get that in London!"

"True." The other room also had a big picture window, but faced the street-side of the house. James had momentarily forgotten than Sirius spent most of his time holed up in a London brownstone. He hadn't been there himself yet, but he imagined the view couldn't be much more than rooftops and street lamps. "Well let's get outside then!"

Sirius didn't need to be told twice - he dropped the trunk and followed James down the wide staircase, through the kitchen and out the back door. The Potters owned a large tract of land complete with woods, meadows and a stream that emptied into a large pond. James sometimes spotted a wandering Knarl and a colony of Mokes lived down near the water. There were all manner of birds, magical and otherwise, and James was pretty sure at least one of the trees was inhabited by a bowtruckle.

"Wow!" Sirius' eyes were wide and bright. "This is all yours?"

"Yup," James said brightly. "Shall we go explore the woods?"

James and Sirius spent hours outside that day, skipping lunch entirely and not coming inside until Euphemia demanded they break for dinner around 6.

Having Sirius over was a special experience for James. No one else ever seemed to keep up with him the way the Sirius could, and not just physically. No one else seemed to understand his jokes and predict his plans as well. And his mother seemed delighted to have two boys to worry after - though they were old enough to be left to their own devices, she was constantly popping up with snacks, cooked lavish meals every day, and insisted on ending every night by tucking them each into their beds. James was secretly thrilled she was doting on Sirius so - it was obvious he didn't get that kind of treatment at home.

They didn't grow bored of each other once that week, though they were both overjoyed when Remus arrived for the second week.

"LUPIN!" Both boys dived for him when he appeared in the fireplace, seizing him and his luggage and dragging him out rather forcefully.

"What's with the bags under your eyes?" Sirius asked as he brushed ash out of the smaller boy's hair.

"I couldn't sleep, I was so excited." Remus was beaming at them, but James did think he looked peaky. "And look!"

He raised his hand, which was holding a beautiful owl in a cage. She ruffled her feathers and hooted at the boys.

James and Sirius oohed and ahhed over his new owl until she got sick of all the fawning and nipped at Sirius' finger.

"Well let's get you situated and get outside!" James said as Sirius glared at the bird, grabbing the trunk. "There's fun to be had!"

"And pranks to plot. We have a whole schedule planned for this year!" Sirius told Remus, who just shook his head.

"Didn't you learn anything from the disaster at the end of the term?" He asked James. But James only shrugged.

"Oh Lupin, life is too short to worry over a small failure," he told him. "Come on now, let me show you to your room. My mother has the most delicious toffee ready for your arrival."

/

 _Dear Peter -_

 _I do hope you're enjoying your holiday. James' house is wonderful, but as you'd expect, James and Sirius are hard to keep up with. It's one thing to be with them at school, where playtime is broken up with lessons and homework and other day-to-day concerns. But here we play in meadows, wade through streams, go bird-spotting and climb trees in the woods. I was exhausted the first day that I fell asleep in front of the fireplace while those two played Gobstones! When things get to be too much, I pull out a book and watch James and Sirius play Quidditch. I wish you were here for that - James is practicing for tryouts and I'm sure you'd be able to offer some strategy tips that just escape me._

 _Say hello to your mother and the cousins. We'll see you at King's Cross!_

 _Your Friend,_

 _Remus_

 _Petey -_

 _You're missing out - Potter's house is fantastic! Are you enjoying your family vacation? If not, James and I can hatch a plan to kidnap you. Just say the word._

 _If not, see you at the train station soon enough._

 _-Sirius_

 _Hello Petey, my good man,_

 _I'm sure you're having a wonderful trip, but next year I really must insist that you join us. Being a man short makes our Quidditch teams uneven!_

 _Sirius and I, with some grudging help from Remus, have hatched some excellent plans for this year. I'll give you a detailed explanation on the Hogwarts Express - some things are best not to put in writing._

 _My mother intends to send me off with a large tin of biscuits to start the term right. Any flavor requests? I'll pass them along._

 _See you soon._

 _-James_

"Wow, look who's become Monsieur Popular," Nicholas teased as he sat down next to Peter, who was longing on a beach chair in front of the little stone cottage his family had rented for the trip. "Your friends write you even while you're on vacation?"

"Remus likes to write letters, Sirius was offering to come kidnap me, and James wanted to send a frustrating teaser about all the plans they're making for the term without me," Peter said, feeling a bit sad. He hadn't realized he'd missed his friends until they'd all been together without him.

"Ahh. Here I was thinking my little cousin may have a lovely lady friend," his cousin said.

"Girls are more Sirius' specialty," Peter said offhandedly. "He snagged his first kiss at the end of term."

"Did he now?" The other boy asked, looking slightly impressed. "Quite the feat for a 12-year-old."

"Sirius and James are good at great feats," Peter told him with a laugh. "It makes being their friend quite interesting.

His older cousin raised his eyebrow. "I hope those feats of theirs aren't getting you in too much trouble, Petey."

Peter chuckled, amused that his cousin thought him brave enough to keep up with the antics of James and Sirius. "Not too much trouble. Though now that he's allowed to have his broom I imagine James might make some plans that involve daring tricks off the Astronomy tower."

Nicholas grunted in amusement. "Try not to cause your mother too much grief."

"But Nicky, surely you get up to all kinds of mischief at school," Peter teased.

The older boy rolled his eyes. "Nothing I'm going to admit to you, now that I know you're hanging around with such an unruly brood."

"They're not all unruly," Peter said, quick to defend his friends. "Remus always helps me with exams and does his best to keep James and Sirius in check."

"Is that so?"

Peter nodded, knowing his cousin was indulging him by letting him talk about his friends, but nonetheless enjoying having friends to talk about. "Most people don't have the patience or resolve to manage James and Sirius, but Remus is an exception. He looks out for all of us. When the Slytherins kidnapped me it was Remus who came up with the rescue plan."

As soon as he said it, Peter realized he should have left that particular anecdote out. His cousin's facial expression had changed from one of benign amusement to mild concern.

"Kidnapped? What do you mean kidnapped?"

"Oh nothing," Peter said, waving his hand around too furiously to come off as casual. "It was only a game gone a bit too far. James and Sirius have a bit of a feud going with another house."

" A feud that led to kidnapping? Seems fairly dramatic." His cousin sighed. "I know I'm not your parent or anything, but you should watch out for people that let you get dragged into trouble of their own making. Those kinds of people aren't really your friends."

"It wasn't like that," Peter insisted. But it was exactly like that. He was always getting dragged into Sirius' drama. James jumped in by choice, and Remus went along to look after the other two, but it was Peter who always felt forced.

But that didn't mean they weren't his friends. They always came to his rescue, after all.

He didn't think Nick would understand, but he knew his place. Things weren't perfect, but James, Sirius and Remus were still good friends.

At least he thought so.


	34. Second Years

"PETEY!" James tackled the smaller boy the moment he saw him on the platform. "We missed you! How was Majorca? You look tan."

"Hi James!" Peter said, grinning despite having been knocked on the ground by his friend's exuberant greeting. "Majorca was lovely. How was your summer?" His friends had written, but he knew he'd get a better retelling in person.

"IT WAS GREAT!" Sirius roared, appearing behind James and reaching out an arm to help Peter up. "We rode brooms and exploded the woods and saw a bowtruckle and went to a Quidditch match!"

Peter tried not to let his disappointment show on his face. He'd wanted so badly to accept James' invitation, but his mother refused to let him out of family vacation. Granted, Nicholas and Joseph always made an effort to include him, and it had been a lovely holiday, but he couldn't help feeling left out as his three friends described their summer.

"We got Lupin here up on a broom a few times," James said, grinning. "He kept dropping the Quaffle, but his flying could have been worse."

"Really? I would love to see that."

"Oh, but you will!" James said with a sly grin. "We're second years. Do you realize what this means?"

"Um…"

"IT MEANS I HAVE MY BROOMSTICK!" James shouted. "Dad has it. He's around here somewhere." He began scanning the crowd, standing on his tiptoes to see better.

"Of course!" Peter said, now excited thinking of the possibilities. "You'll be trying out for the House team then?" Second years rarely made the team, but Gryffindor had several players graduate last year so anything was possible.

"Of course he will!" Sirius said. "As will I."

"Your parents bought you a broomstick?" Peter asked.

Sirius grinned. "What well-off pureblood boy doesn't have a broomstick? No matter how much they're trying to punish me over Andromeda, they wouldn't hold out on me like that. It's a status symbol, after all."

Peter couldn't decide whether to feel bad for Sirius' state of family affairs, or jealous of his cavalier attitude about money. He settled on saying nothing.

"There he is. Dad! Come say hi to Petey!" James dove through the crowd and grabbed an older man by the wrist. "Dad, undo the shrinking spell so I can show Petey my broom. Sirius' too!"

"Can't you wait until you make it back to school, dear?" James' mother appeared. "Hello, Peter," she said with a smile. "How was your holiday?"

"Lovely, thank you for asking. How was yours, Mrs. Potter?" Peter asked politely.

"Just wonderful," she said. "I had quite the chess partner with Remus here." She winked at the sandy-haired boy. "Though he tells me you're even better than he is. You'll have to show me next time the boys get together. We'll plan around your schedule."

"He said that?" Peter flushed with pride, a feeling he didn't experience often. Remus gave him a little smile.

Peter realized with a start that Remus was carrying a cage under his arm. "You got an owl?!" He said, his voice squeaking more than he meant for it too.

Remus nodded, his smile widening. "She's a gift from my parents for my marks last year," he told. "I've named her Edyth."

"What a lovely name," Peter said, sticking his finger between the bars of the cage to stroke the bird. She glanced up at him then quickly dismissed him, but allowed the petting to continue. "Why didn't you send your letters with her?"

"What's wrong with Artemis?" James asked sharply.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing…" Peter said quickly. James had been very defensive of his family owl ever since Sirius had mocked her name.

"She's too small to take more than one letter at once," Remus told him.

Peter's mother, who had been greeting some old school friends of her own, appeared next to him and began chatting with the adults. After a bit of fussing over the luggage and a lot of hugs and kisses, the boys made it to a compartment toward the back of the train.

"Second year, you lot," James said with a grin. "I think it's going to be a good one."

Peter was inclined to agree. Summer seemed to have been good to his friends - Sirius was cheerier than usual, Remus looked pleasantly weather-beaten instead of pale and peaky, and James was bursting with exuberant energy that made it impossible to be unhappy in his presence. Peter hoped this year was more about pranks and fun than spying and reading scary news stories. There wasn't much in the Daily Prophet over the summer - despite his best efforts to resist any dark news and the encouragement from his mother to act his age, Peter had found himself checking the front page just to stay informed.

Halfway through the ride Marlene McKinnon found their compartment and greeted them merrily.

"Hello boys - what mischief do you have planned for the Welcoming Feast?"

"Marlene, whatever are you talking about?" James asked innocently. "I would never disrupt the sanctity of the sorting ceremony.

Marlene crossed her arms and gave him a stern look. "As though I believe that for a second. Remus?"

"We have nothing planned, Marlene," Remus told her. "I'm just looking forward to pudding."

Her face softened and she giggled. "Well, all right then. But if you decide for some excitement last minute, do me a favor and try to keep the food splatter to a minimum? These are new robes."

"And you look lovely in them," Sirius said, winking. She giggled again then left.

"We don't have anything planned for the feast?" Peter asked, trying to ignore Sirius' flirting to get back to the tasks at hand.

"Strictly speaking, no," James said.

Sirius scoffed. "Someone is afraid of getting on McGonagall's bad side before Quidditch tryouts."

"It's a shame you're not more afraid of getting in trouble the rest of the year," Remus said with a sigh.

"Don't worry Petey, we have plenty of other plans. Here, we've organized the ideas in order of task difficulty, likeliness of getting caught, severity of possible punishment, and how likely they are to make Slytherins cry." Sirius whipped out a long piece of parchment and handed it over.

"How...comprehensive…" Peter said, mildly overwhelmed. But as he began to review the plans, he felt himself smiling. It was going to be an exciting year.

/

This year, on top of general mayhem and adventure, James had a new focus.

"Quidditch tryouts are usually the second or third week of class, so we'll need to keep the mischief to a minimum until then," he told his friends.

"Mischief and minimum are two words I hate hearing together," Sirius groaned. "I didn't realize you were such a pansy, Potter."

Normally, a comment like that would set James off, but he had bigger concerns at the moment.

"This is Quidditch we're talking about, mate. Quidditch is going to be the highlight of my Hogwarts career. I'll not have it ruined because you're too overzealous with your desires to cause mayhem."

"But-" Sirius was winding up to a long-winded protest.

"This is not negotiable, Black. Quidditch comes first," James said, cutting his friend off. There were few things he and Sirius didn't see eye to eye on, and he was determined to make his friend see his view.

"I've given it some thought, and I think I have just the thing to keep you amused for a while," Remus told Sirius. He reached into his bag and pulled out a cardboard box with a picture of a muggle motorcar on it.

"What is it?" James and Sirius both chorused.

"It's a scale model of a muggle motorcar," Remus told them. "You have to put it together."

"Is this some kind of muggle hobby?" Sirius asked curiously, taking the box and opening it to examine the contents.

"Oh yes," Peter said. "Some boys at my primary school used to make them with their fathers."

"I'm not sure about this. I mean, what's the point?" Sirius asked.

James, eager for Sirius to have a distraction, thought quickly. "Once you've made it you can enchant it to run up and down the corridors. Imagine how hilarious it will be."

"He's right," Remus aid. "If you make it properly the wheels will turn."

"That's an idea…plus, if I bring it home and put it in my room it will drive my mother nutters," Sirius said, starting to grin. "Thanks Lupin!"

"You're very welcome," Remus said with a wink at James, who was wondering when Remus found the time to procure such a thing. "Just remember, you have to follow the instructions exactly."

"Yes, yes," Sirius said, waving a hand impatiently and replacing everything in the box before putting it in his bag.

James, pleased that Lupin had found a way to buy him some time, launched into a detailed discussion about his plans for training ahead of tryouts until they reached the castle. As he hopped out of the carriage, he saw a flash of red hair.

"Oi. Evans!" He shouted. As she turned to see who called, he admired the way her hair flipped around her shoulders. Alas, her expression darkened when she realized it was him that called, and she promptly turned around and stalked off.

"I see time apart has done little to quell her rage," Sirius quipped. James shrugged.

"When I'm star of the house Quidditch team she'll see the error in her ways," he said, hoping he sounded more unconcerned than he felt. He'd hoped Lily would have cooled down over the holiday, but clearly that was not the case.

Sirius clapped him on the back bracingly.. "That's right, put on a strong face," he told him. "She'll come around eventually."

"Are you sure about that?" Peter asked as the boys watched Lily's retreating back.

"Do you doubt me Petey?" James asked, feigning hurt.

"Of course not!" Peter said. Remus simply rolled his eyes.

"Let's get inside. I'm starving," Sirius said.

Together the boys trooped inside to the start of the new year.

James immediately sought out Flavius McLaggen at the Gryffindor table, who raised his arms up as if in defense.

"We just walked in the door, Potter. Can't you wait one day before pestering me about tryouts?"

"Certainly not," James responded quickly. "I want you to know I intend to try out for chaser. Two of them graduated last year, correct?"

The older boy sighed. "Yes. And as I told you last year, we'll hold open tryouts. All you need to do is show up and show off those impressive flying skills you're always going on about. If you're as good as you say, I'm sure you'll make the team, Godric help me."

James' face split into a grin. A whole year without Quidditch, and flying limited only to lessons, had been torture on his young mind. Sure, he found ways to distract and enjoy himself with his friends, but now was his time to shine, his time to show everybody exactly who James Potter was and why they should pay attention. He wouldn't be some little first year the older students indulged any longer - he would become a legend.

"Well, then I believe our business is finished," he said, grabbing McLaggen's hand and shaking vigorously. "Thank you, my good chap."

He turned around to face his friends once again. Remus was shaking his head with an amused look on his face. "You just can't help yourself, can you?"

"On the contrary, going after what you want is helping yourself, is it not?" James said with a smirk. "Now hush, the first years are coming in."

"I didn't realize Barty Crouch was only a year behind us," Sirius said with interest, pointing to a skinny boy with freckles and straw-colored hair.

"Is he likely to end up in Slytherin?" James asked, preparing to assess the new threat from Slytherin house this year.

His friend shrugged. "I imagine," he told him. "The family is pureblood and his father works for the ministry. His cousins used to come 'round to play with Narcissa but they weren't particularly bright. I think they actually wound up in Hufflepuff." He glanced over to the table to confirm, but couldn't see clearly.

"Petey, take note of everyone that gets sorted into Slytherin," James told him. "We'll need to start compiling intel on the enemy first thing." Lucius Malfoy may think himself above bullying the younger students, but there were plenty of other Slytherins that wouldn't think twice about it. James wasn't going to let Sirius get tormented again this year. Granted, Lucius Malfoy was far less interested in actively harassing the Gryffindors than Rodolphus Lestrange, and the younger students tended to fall in line. But there was always the risk of an independent actor. This time, James wanted to be a step ahead. He would be prepared for war.

"Why me?" Peter asked.

"Why, because you're the best with observing faces," James said. He thought that was obvious, but Peter looked so pleased with the compliment James was glad he'd said it. "We're going to need all the intel we can get to set up our anti-green strategy."

Peter nodded vigorously. "Oh, of course." He leaned forward for a better view of the first years.

James settled back to enjoy the sorting, his friends on all sides. It was going to be a good year.

/

Despite James and Remus' best efforts, it didn't take long for Sirius to find a way to cause a ruckus.

"You know, these are real swords used to decapitate traitors in the 14th century," he told a nervous-looking first-year who was observing one of the suits of armor as they walked back to Gryffindor Tower.

"Really?" The boy asked curiously.

Sirius nodded importantly. "Oh yes. They used to execute them publicly by decree of the king. Of course, wizards could have used any number of spells to do that instead, but back then magical folk and wizards mixed and mingled freely and the muggles liked the manual way of doing things. Made them feel involved. If you look closely you may be able to see the bloodstains…"

"Sirius, that's 16th century jousting armor," Remus said rolling his eyes. "See the etching?" He told the first year, pointing out the designs on the metal. "It's ornamental. This wasn't armor for battle or executions - wizards could use defensive spells for that. This was for show and games. You'll learn about all the different types and how wizards used it in History of Magic."

Sirius rolled his eyes back. "You would pay attention to Binns' explanations. But I'll bet the sword is still sharp enough to cut off someone's head all the same." Then he got a wicked idea. "Let's test it, shall we?" And with a mighty tug, he pulled the sword out of the suit's hand.

He squealed in delight, having not expected it to come loose with such ease, as Peter yelped in alarm while James and Remus groaned. Gripping it with two hands, he swung the sword in a wide arc.

"Sirius, watch yourself!" Remus called, pulling the first year out of range as Sirius continued to swing the blade.

"Lighten up, Lupin. What could happen?" Sirius asked. He proceeded to lift the sword over his head, intending to bring in down in a dramatic depiction of a painting he once saw during a tour of one of the Black manors in Sussex, only to realize it was too heavy and he lacked control. He began to stagger as the blade began to slip and fall behind his back.

Peter cried out, Remus cursed and James took a step forward as if trying to help, but it all happened so quickly none of it made any difference. Sirius fell backwards into the wall, landing on his rump, as the blade continued to tip until it hit the portrait of the women drinking wine behind him, the sharp edge sliding down the stone and making a large gash as the portrait's occupants squealed and made a run for it.

The sword clattered to the ground, miraculously missing Sirius completely.

"Merlin's beard…" James whispered. He was looking up at the wall behind his friend, and Sirius knew the damage must be fairly awful for James to make such a face. He himself was still sitting on the ground, slightly in shock. He was now realizing how foolish that had been - he could have slashed his own shoulder, or worse.

"Are you OK?" Remus asked gently, looking rather shocked himself, despite being the one who warned Sirius in the first place.

Sirius patted himself down. "All in one piece," he said, trying to conjure a grin.

"I wish we could say the same of the painting…" James said glumly.

Sirius grimaced and slowly turned around, still sitting on the ground. The sword had cut through the wooden frame and ancient canvas like butter, leaving the portrait in a clean two pieces. Its occupants had managed to escape to paintings on either side and were shaking their fists angrily and muttering at him.

"Well...it certainly is sharp...like you said, Sirius…" Peter said quietly.

"Sod it…" Sirius cursed. A group of onlookers was gathering, having no doubt heard the commotion. There would be no talking his way out of this one. He wondered how much trouble this would be.

"What in the world is going on?" Sirius cursed again as the voice of Kingsley Shacklebolt echoed up the staircase. The crowd split for the prefect, who took the stairs two at a time. His eyes must have fallen on Sirius before the painting, because for a moment there was concern on his face. But alas, Sirius watched as the older boy's gaze moved up and the concern evaporated into disbelief.

"We've been back for less than four hours, Black," Shacklebolt said in his steady voice.

"And I thought we needed a fitting welcome back," Sirius told him. He heard Remus and James groan behind him.

The prefect rubbed his temples and looked much older than his 16 years. "Are you hurt?"

Sirius shook his head.

"Good. Then come with me to McGonagall's office. Everyone else up to the Common Room, now."

Sirius hopped up, held his hands up to his friends as if to say "Oh well," and quickly followed the other boy, knowing better than to antagonize him further.

When McGonagall opened the door, she saw him and sighed. "Already, Mr. Black?"

"I just missed you so much over the holidays, Professor," he told her with a grin.

"Sit," she told him, pointing at a hard wooden bench rather than the more comfortable armchairs that also faced her desk. "Mr. Shacklebolt, please explain."

"I came across him, and this-" Sirius hadn't realized Shacklebolt had picked up the sword "And a large gash in Violet's painting."

The witch eyed the sword for a moment. "Shacklebolt, you may go." He left rapidly, closing the door behind him.

She then turned to Sirius. "I would have thought someone who was so eager to stay at school last year would have enough respect for this castle not to vandalize it," she said, her tone dangerous. "

"It was an accident!" Sirius told her quickly. "I didn't mean to damage the painting. I'm an art lover, you know. I was simply testing out my swordplay. It seems I have much to learn."

Her expression did not soften. "So you mean to tell me you removed this sword from its rightful place and swung it around the corridor, putting other students, and yourself at risk? Are you really so foolish, Mr. Black?"

Sirius had the good grace to feel ashamed when she put it that way. "It was just supposed to be in good fun…"

"Mr. Black, as I tried to drill into you and Mr. Potter last year, your pursuit of fun does not supercede the rules of this school." She paused. "I don't suppose he was encouraging you in this endeavour."

Sirius felt warning bells going off in his head. He wasn't about to let James take any kind of blame for his stupidity, especially with his Quidditch prospects on the line. "No, no - I swear!" He said, his voice a little more frantic than dignified as he waved his hands in front of his body. "James specifically told me to try to stay out of trouble this year." At least until Quidditch tryouts were over, he added silently.

"Calm down, Mr. Black. I believe you. Potter would keep in line with Quidditch as part of the equation..." Sirius wondered if she'd somehow read his mind, but before he could ask, she peered at him over her spectacles and spoke again. "I do have to wonder why you're so incapable of avoiding trouble, even when your partner in crime advises against it. Why is that?"

He shrugged, uncomfortable with this line of questioning. In truth, he hadn't gotten into mischief at the Potters, but the days had been so full of activity there was little time to cause trouble. At home, it was the opposite - there was nothing to do but get into trouble. At Hogwarts, it simply seemed a natural thing to do, and it made people laugh. "I guess I'm just a rotten kid," he said with a shrug.

She continued to gaze at him over her spectacles. "I don't think that's quite the case, either," she said. It unnerved him. Then she stood. "Detention, Mr. Black. You will spend it with Mr. Filch repairing the painting you damaged. And I'm afraid I'll have to confiscate your broom."

"What?!" Sirius shouted. "But second years are allowed to have their brooms!" He'd been looking forward to practicing for tryouts with James, and the general freedom flight allowed.

"Flying around the grounds is a privilege we allow the older students. When children misbehave, we remove certain privileges," she told him.

He sighed. He supposed he should be glad it wasn't a suspension, or worse. "Are you going to write my mum?" He asked, dreading the answer.

Finally, her face softened just a fraction. "Disciplinary issues at school are the responsibility of your Head of House. I don't see what impact writing your mother would have at this juncture."

Well, there was that. He was sure Lupin would tell him he got off easy, but it stung to lose his broom. "Can I go?" He asked petulantly.

She nodded, and as he turned to go, she spoke once more.

"If you can stay out of trouble, I will consider returning your broom to you in time for Quidditch tryouts. Perhaps athletic endeavours will help you use up all that excess energy."

He whipped around, not sure he'd heard right, but he knew he had when he saw the tiny smile on her mouth.

"Straight back to the Common Room, Mr. Black," she said.

He nodded, and ran the whole way there.

/

Lily was feeling conflicted. It was a gorgeous September afternoon, and her friends had asked her to watch the Gryffindor Quidditch tryouts. She had said yes quickly, thinking it was a perfect excuse to get outside. But as they were walking down to the pitch, she realized Eliza and Mary were eager to cheer on Potter and Black, who were both trying out, despite being only second years.

She had not forgotten what James Potter did at the end of last term to Severus. And while Black hadn't been there for that particular episode, the pair had gotten into enough questionable behavior last year that she had decided she really didn't want to be associated with them. Unfortunately, her friends didn't feel the same.

When they reached the stands they were spotted by Marlene McKinnon, who was sitting with Remus and Peter. Lily smiled. Marlene was impossible to dislike, even if she was a long-time friend of Potter's.

"Lily, your hair looks so lovely braided like that!" The Hufflepuff exclaimed as they settled in. "Did you do that yourself?"

"I did. I've been practicing," she told her.

"It looks really good," Marlene said, nodding. "So, are you here to cheer our boys on?"

"Your boys," Lily corrected while the other two Gryffindor girls giggled. "Hi Remus, hi Peter."

Remus waved back in greeting but Peter had his nose in a Quidditch playbook and appeared to not even notice the newcomers.

The conversation quickly turned to Quidditch and Gryffindor's possible prospects. Lily learned it was unusual for younger students to make the team, but they were always given the chance to try out. There were three positions open this year - two chasers and one beater - and two backup spots.

Even though she wasn't particularly interested in Quidditch, Lily found herself drawn into the conversation and felt the excitement building as the hopefuls gathered on the pitch. The team captain, a burly sixth-year whose name escaped her, had the prospects make a few loops around the pitch to start. This proved a good idea - several of them were wobbly fliers at best.

Lily couldn't help but watch Potter and Black as tryouts continued. Even to her untrained eye, it was obvious Potter was one of the more skilled out there. Black was a good flier, but he wasn't particularly coordinated with the beater's bat.

"It seems rather risky to put a blunt weapon in Black's hands," she commented to Remus, who chuckled.

"Don't worry, I don't think he's much risk to anyone but himself," the boy told her as they watched Sirius swing at full power - and miss, wobbling on his broom.

"Ohh, I hope he makes the team," Peter fretted. "If he doesn't, he'll be miserable."

"Is it really so important to him?" Marlene asked. "I thought James was the one obsessed with the game."

"Yes, but Sirius is obsessed with doing everything that James does," Remus said quietly, his eyes following his friends above. "I think he'll be fairly disappointed if they're split up."

Lily opened her mouth to say something sarcastic, then thought better of it. She knew how it felt to be separated from a friend. She hadn't seen much of Severus since they'd returned to school, despite his promises over the summer to make more of an effort this year. They'd only met up once in the fortnight they'd been back, and every time she tried to catch up with him after a meal he seemed to be surrounded by other Slytherins, lost to her in the crowd.

"Oh no!" Mary squealed. The group turned in the direction she was looking - it appeared one of the other beater candidates had taken a bludger full-on to the face. He fell very fast through the air, and for a moment Lily thought he was going to crash, but at the last moment he recovered himself and managed a bumpy landing on both feet.

Perhaps Quidditch was more thrilling than Lily had been giving it credit for.

After that excitement the talking ceased as the children watched the players carefully. After about an hour, the captain, who Remus informed her was named McLaggen, called everyone down.

"Great showing today, all of you," he told them. "The team and I will confer, and results will be posted in the Common Room tonight."

Black and Potter came to greet their friends in the stands, and Peter immediately began singing the latter's praises.

"You were spectacular out there, James! The way you got around Dawson to make that goal!" He babbled.

"It was pretty smooth," Potter responded, running a hand through his already wind-blown hair, making it worse. "Right, Evans?"

She shrugged noncommittally, but it seemed all he was looking for was acknowledgement, because he beamed at her.

Black, on the other hand, was glowering. "I didn't play very well because I haven't been able to practice without my broom," he complained to Remus and Marlene, who nodded sympathetically.

"I don't know, you really seemed to come into it in the second half of the tryout," Lily said, the words escaping without much thought. She didn't like to see people unhappy, and it was natural for her to offer compliments when they were due.

He turned to her, looking shocked. "You really think so?"

"Of course she does, because it's true!" Potter said before she could respond again, slapping his friend on the back. "Besides, you flew better than half the clowns out there. Don't be so hard on yourself."

Marlene and Eliza both nodded. "What matters is that you did your best," Eliza told him.

"And that you look good holding that beater's bat," Marlene added with a coy grin.

All this praise seemed to cheer Black up, because a smile formed on his face. Lily hated to admit it, but he was very handsome when he smiled. In a few years he'd be a real heartbreaker, Petunia hadn't been wrong about his good looks.

She could just imagine how much it would upset Severus if she ever voiced that opinion to him, but it was true. If only Black had a better personality.

"Well, I call that a successful Saturday afternoon," James said with a grin. "Let's head inside for some supper. Marlene, we'll sneak you into the Gryffindor table."

"But aren't we supposed to sit at our House tables at meals?" Mary asked.

James just shrugged. "I doubt any of the prefects are going to chase her away for trying to sit with her friends."

"If they do, they'll have to answer to me," Sirius said, flexing his broom-free arm.

Lily sighed internally while everyone else laughed. She wondered what Severus would say if she suggested such a thing to him. Even if he went along with it, she didn't think she'd be a welcome guest at the Slytherin table.

The thought seemed to telepathically attract the wrong kind of attention, for when the group reached the Entrance Hall a group of Slytherins were exiting.

"If it isn't the little blood traitor," Nolan Avery hissed to Black loud enough for everyone to hear.

Lily rolled her eyes. She was already tired of all the pureblood propaganda that was whispered through corridors in voices low enough the teachers could pretend they couldn't here.

"Better a blood traitor than an elitist pig," Lily snipped back.

Avery's neck turned so fast toward her she was surprised it didn't snap. "What did you call me, mudblood?"

"How dare you!" Marlene cried as Potter and Black both fumbled with their brooms in an effort to reach their wands.

"Don't-" Lily tried to tell them, but it was too late. Both boys sent off jinxes, the combination sending the older boy flying into the wall.

Just then, Lucius Malfoy, the Slytherin prefect with perfect blond hair, came around the corner. He took in the scene and clicked his tongue. "Sirius, of course. Thirty points from Gryffindor, I think," he said calmly. He looked like was about to say something more, but then Avery doubled over and vomited slugs all over his shoes.

"Disgusting idiot," he said, forgetting the young Gryffindors and quickly vanishing the mess. "Severus, do something about this fool, will you?"

Lily jumped, having not realized her friend was present. Then she tensed, realizing Potter and Black still had their wands poised to attack.

"Don't you-" she started to say, but she was cut off by the appearance of Narcissa Black. The girl tilted her head and looked at the Gryffindors, but she only really had eyes for her cousin.

"Honestly, Sirius, put that away," she told him. Lily didn't expect him to obey, but he did, scowling as he did so.

"Your man started it," Sirius said, looking at Lucius as he said it.

"But the mu-" Avery was unable to finish his sentence, instead throwing up again. Narcissa wrinkled her nose and took a step away.

"Don't you have better things to do than pestering a group of 12-year-olds?" Narcissa said coldly. "Now Lucius will have to clean up your mess."

"Don't worry dear, Severus here will take care of everything so we won't miss a moment of our date."

Black and Potter were making gagging noises next to her, but for once, Lily wasn't interested in scolding them.

"He needs the hospital wing. Isn't it your job as a prefect to look after him?" Lily asked. She didn't like the way this boy was shoving his duties off on someone else.

Malfoy blatantly ignored her, instead turning toward his girlfriend and offering her his arm. "Let's go. It smells as though someone needs directions to the showers from the Quidditch pitch." He looked pointedly at Black and Potter, who just glowered back, then walked out the doors with Narcissa.

Meanwhile, Severus scuffled forward and grabbed Avery, who needed support to walk, as he was still throwing up slugs. "I can handle this, Lily," he hissed to her under his breath so no one else could hear. "Don't you think you and your friends have done enough?"

"But I -" she was cut off by Avery's vomiting again, and gave up, taking a step away. As the two Slytherin boys retreated, she turned to Black and Potter, furious.

"Why did you have to go and do something like that?" She asked. "Can't you ever resist the urge to show off and cause trouble?"

Black just cocked his head and stared at her, while Potter just stared, like a deer caught in headlights. It would have been rather comical if she hadn't been irritable.

"Lily…" Marlene said quietly from behind. "They were defending you."

Deep down, Lily knew this was true. In fact, some may have found it chivalrous that the boys reacted with such indignation at an insult to her person. And hadn't she really been the one to escalate the confrontation for calling out Avery in the first place?

But really, she couldn't advocate for violence as a solution to every rude comment thrown out by a teenage boy. And she was angry the incident had caused an upset in her relationship with Severus.

"It's typical Gryffindor grandstanding," she continued. "You could have let the comment go. I hardly need you to defend me."

"Lily…" Now it was Remus, looking at her with those imploring eyes, asking her to see the other side. "Nolan Avery takes every opportunity to curse Sirius. He was going for his wand."

"Should we have let him get in the first hit?" Black snapped at her. Potter appeared to be grinding his teeth.

"That jinx will wear off in an hour or so, Lily," Peter added. "We've tested it on ourselves."

"You test jinxes on yourselves?" she asked, agast. There were so many wonderful things you could do with magic - so much they could be practicing to better themselves. And they chose schoolyard jinxes? What was wrong with these boys?

"I think we're going to head back to the common room," Mary said, stepping forward and grabbing Lily by the arm firmly.

"Aren't you hungry?" Peter asked, looking hurt and confused.

"Forget it, let's go get something to eat," Lily said, recovering herself finally. She was causing a scene. Was it really worth it to yell at Black and Potter over something that was already done, something that everyone else seemed to think was ok?

The answer was no, but that didn't mean Lily would cave in and pretend it was acceptable behavior. She returned Mary's grip, linked her other arm with Eliza's and walked briskly into the Great Hall, away from the boys and Marlene.

"Evans - come on!" Potter called after her, but she ignored him. It was easier on her 12-year-old heart to pretend Black and Potter caused the problem today, and not an already growing rift between her and her best friend.

/

Quidditch tryout results were due to be posted any minute, and Remus could not get a moment's peace.

"I'm sure I made the team, aren't you Lupin? I mean, certainly I made it. I'm entirely sure. Positive. How could I not? Unless I didn't!"

It was somewhat amusing to watch the normally confident James so nervous. Remus was fairly certain James would be a top pick. It was Sirius he was worried over.

Sirius hid it well through dinner, but Remus, having sat next to him, had noticed his friend's leg bouncing more than usual, and the fact that he spent more time moving food around his plate than eating it. The boy was also uncharacteristically quiet, which was never a good sign.

Remus didn't want to see Sirius separated from James in any way. Things had been difficult for him last year, and James had been the thing that saved him. James might not realize it, but Remus did. Sirius was still struggling against the pureblood stereotypes and traditions that defined his upbringing. Though he'd done his best to stay out of trouble ahead of tryouts, there had been a bit of a scuffle between he and Evan Rosier before Potions one day, and Remus was fairly certain something had happened involving Nolan Avery, who turned up to dinner with unattractive boils on his face the day after Sirius returned to the dorm particularly sullen after one of his detentions with Filch. And just that day there had been another run-in with Avery, Malfoy and Snape. Remus was privately grateful that Narcissa had been there - she had a way of defusing the younger Slytherins, and Malfoy would do whatever she asked. Sirius, however, was probably only further irritated by her involvement.

Gryffindor House had accepted Sirius Black readily enough, but Slytherin House still whispered of blood traitors even as Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff still seemed wary of the wayward Black.

After what felt like ages, but was probably only about an hour, McLaggen appeared and tacked a piece of parchment on the notice board.

"Now, I'm going upstairs to work on a tricky assignment for Ancient Runes," he said. "The results here are what they are, and I don't want anyone bothering me about them, whether your comments are joyful or wrathful, until at least breakfast tomorrow. Is that understood?" He looked over in James' direction as he said it

The group around the board let out a general murmur of agreement and allowed McLaggen to pass by before rushing the results.

"I can't see!" Peter said unhappily as he was shoved aside by older students. James and Sirius had somehow fought their way to the front, and Remus was watching their faces carefully.

James ran a finger down the list and when it stopped, he let out of a whoop of joy. Sirius hip-checked him aside and ran his own finger down the list. When he paused, he grimaced and turned to James, whose jubilant expression fell.

"James made it. Sirius didn't," Remus told Peter, who was just a bit shorter than he and thus couldn't see over the commotion.

"Oh no!" Peter groaned. "We're in for it now."

James and Sirius returned to them quickly.

"Backup squad," Sirius said glumly, sitting down heavily in an armchair.

"This is an outrage," James said. "You flew way better than Justin Flanagan. I'll have a word with McLaggen first thing tomorrow!"

"Don't bother," Sirius said. "I flew better, but Flanagan made more hits, and that's what matters for a beater."

"But-"

"It's fine, Potter, really," Sirius told him, patting his friend on the head like a small child. "I'll still get to practice with you, after all." Remus was surprised Sirius was taking the hit so well.

"But what about during the matches?" James, on the other hand, seemed to be in despair.

"I'll just have to come up with some uniquely uproarious ways to cheer you on," Sirius said lightly. "This will just be something you have to do without me. Try not to screw it up."

James formed his mouth into a pout. "I won't be as much fun without you."

"I'll have another chance to try out next year when Longbottom graduates," Sirius reminded him.

"That's true." The fake pout disappeared. "Longbottom aspires to be an auror, you know. It's a very rigorous academic path by seventh year. Maybe I can coerce him into stepping down to focus on his studies."

Before the other three could stop him, James bounded up the stairs, on the search for the older boy.

Sirius chuckled and shook his head, which was getting increasingly shaggy now that he was back at Hogwarts and had no mother pestering him to trim his hair.

"You're taking this unusually well," Remus commented.

Sirius shrugged, a small smile on his face. "I didn't want to bring him down in his moment, you know?"

Remus smiled back. "How mature of you," he teased. In truth, he was impressed. The bond between James and Sirius was stronger than he thought if it could stave off one of Sirius' Black moods, as he now thought of them. Friendship was a curious thing.


	35. The Things that Separate Us

The first full moon of the school year was approaching in days, and Remus was anxious, having had a much harder time shaking loose of Sirius and James than the year before.

"Lupin, come to Quidditch practice!" James had begged of him several times now. He'd yet to play in his first game, but having secured his place on the team had only increased James' enthusiasm, despite being told off and eventually jinxed by Frank Longbottom for trying to push the older boy out in favor of a "younger and more vivacious" beater. Sirius, who Remus had been concerned may sulk having only made backup, was James' biggest supporter, constantly quizzing him on strategy and general skills. And from what he understood, Peter was James' loudest fan, cheering from the empty stands during practices, much to the annoyance of the rest of the team.

Remus had hoped his general lack of interest in Quidditch would excuse him from watching practices, but after skipping out on a few he quickly realized he'd have to make an appearance now and again or James would never let him hear the end of it. It was unfortunate that he discovered this so close to the full moon, when the gentle chill of the September air made him shiver like an old woman.

Nonetheless he trudged out to the Quidditch pitch, book in hand and muffler around his neck, and sat next to Peter, looking up occasionally to make sure James and Sirius weren't causing too much trouble. James had been more subdued since making the team - so focused on athletics he forgot to cause trouble. The same couldn't be said for Sirius, unfortunately, who just the other day had McGonagall threaten to take his broom again when he landed on the roof just below North Tower and made faces at the fifth-year Divination students taking extra credit lessons until Professor Cadance, who was very patient in Remus' experience, called their Head of House. Apparently dancing on the top of the castle wasn't strictly speaking against the rules, as Remus had pointed out to the deputy headmistress, (he'd taken the time to memorize the school rulebook over the summer) and so Sirius had gotten off with only detention for distracting others in class.

Remus was wondering if he should be bold enough to tell his friends he was leaving to see his sick mother before the moon this time. It was a Saturday so it may not seem that suspicious. He was leaning toward yes - giving the appearance of trusting his friends with a family issue was a good way to prevent James and Sirius from getting too curious. Of course, thinking this way sent him into a spiral of guilt. His friends were so good to him and while he tried his best to be good in return, he was constantly lying. A good friend didn't lie. But he had no choice.

He was so absorbed in this line of thought he didn't realize it was getting dark until Peter tugged at his cloak.

"They're finishing up. We can head inside now, James and Sirius will catch up," he told him. "Fancy a trip to the kitchens for a quick snack before settling in for the night?"

Remus was tired, but the prospect of chocolate biscuits, which the house elves were always only too happy to provide, was too tempting to ignore. "Sounds lovely," he told Peter.

They ran into a pleasant surprise just before the kitchens - Marlene was heading back to the Hufflepuff Common Room.

"What are you two doing down here?" she asked curiously.

"Kitchens!" Peter said happily.

"What do you mean?" She asked, looking confused.

Peter looked shocked. "Don't tell me you live down here and don't know!"

"Don't know what?" Marlene asked another question, looking even more confused.

"Why, the entrance to the kitchens is down here!" Peter said, positively bubbling at being able to share such information. "Come along, we'll show you."

The three of them continued on in amiable silence until they reached the painting. Marlene had the same awed response to the kitchen the boys had the year before.

"I can't believe I didn't know about this," she said as she sipped a cup of cocoa a house elf had procured for her. "It's amazing."

"It's my favorite place in the castle," Peter admitted. She giggled.

"I can understand that," she said.

Remus was happy to see Marlene, but she and Peter were showing signs of starting an extended conversation, and he was simply too tired to stick around.

"Now that I have my biscuits, I'm going to head to bed," he told them. "Goodnight."

"So early?" Marlene asked. "Are you feeling all right?" Suddenly she was examining him with a shrewd eye. "You look a bit peaky." She reached out as if to check his forehead, and he quickly leaned away.

"I didn't sleep well last night," he lied, trying to act casual. The last thing he needed was yet another person keeping an eye on his physical health.

Peter gave him a sympathetic look. "Did Sirius crawl into bed with you again?"

It was a such a natural question between the four boys, it took Remus a minute to realize how bizarre the comment must have sounded to Marlene, who was blinking rapidly.

"Sirius? In your bed?" She asked. "But I thought-" then she flushed. Remus wondered if she had liked the kiss last year more than she'd let on.

"It's not what it sounds like," Remus said, equal parts embarrassed and relieved that the topic changed off his health. "Sirius has quirky sleeping habits, that's all. He crawls into your bed to talk, then falls asleep."

"Sirius can sleep anywhere," Peter rushed to his aid. "We once found him skiving off class and asleep in a broom closet."

"And the big lug is impossible to wake up," Remus added.

"Oh. Of course," Marlene looked relieved. "That makes sense." She smiled brightly. "He's quite the character. Rooming with him must be an adventure."

"You have no idea," Remus said with a small smile. "On that note, I'm going to go claim my bed and hopefully fall asleep before anyone can join me."

"Goodnight, Remus," Marlene and Peter chorused.

The boy made it back to the dorm, which was still empty, which meant Sirius and James were probably up to something. He didn't have the energy to worry over it, and enjoyed the luxury of changing in the middle of the dorm before snuggling in under his covers. He quickly fell asleep.

The next morning his bones seemed to ache and every joint cracked as he forced himself out of bed. The others were all still asleep, and he decided a hot shower sounded divine.

The thing that no one tells you about going to school in a beautiful ancient castle is that modern amenities, like the hot water, often go on the fritz. This isn't much of a problem for the older students or the teachers, who can simply wave a wand and warm the water themselves, but can be quite a bother for the younger ones. Remus had spent a great deal of last year practicing healing spells and jinxes beyond the capacity of the average first year, but he was woefully underpracticed on basic household spells.

"Beetle dung…" he muttered to himself as he tested the water and found it ice cold. He tried to remember the incantation and wand movement to warm the water to his liking. There were a few spells he could try, but he had to decide which was the best bet. Too weak and his shower would be lukewarm and unpleasant. Too strong and the water would boil and be unbearable.

"Perhaps... _Incendio_!"

In his groggy half-awake state, the spell was far too powerful. So powerful in fact, hot boiling water began bursting and spurting out of the pipes.

"Ahhh!" Remus screamed, trying to cover his face. Making noise was another mistake. A moment later, James, who was generally an early riser as it was, burst through the door with his wand aloft.

"Did the Slytherins find a way to jinx the shower?!" He cried as Remus scrambled to cover as much of his scarred body as possible with a towel. Thankfully the towels provided by Hogwarts were oversized even for a small adult, and the boy was able to bundle up all but his calves, ankles and feet. In the chaos, he was fairly sure James didn't notice the worst of his scars.

"This water is boiling!" James exclaimed, dragging Remus backwards by the scruff to avoid it. "Are you OK?"

"I think so," Remus said, unwilling to release the towel he'd pulled firmly around himself to check his arms. "I only got sprayed a little."

"What in the world happened here, mate?" The dark-haired boy asked. He was examining the pipes, still holding his wand up on guard.

"It appears I overheated the water just a tad," Remus said impatiently. "I assure you, I had it under control. Now could you please let me get back to my business?" He felt very vulnerable standing next to James in nothing but a towel, and was struggling not to panic. It was only a matter of time before his friend looked down, and he didn't want to have to explain the system of scars all up his legs.

"Oh yes, this looks very much under control," James laughed, lowering his wand. "But if you insist."

James left, closing the door behind him. Remus quickly performed a locking spell that would take more than a basic alohomora to crack, then dropped his towel and sunk to the ground, his legs shaking in relief. Having friends was a wonderful thing, but it also put his secret more at risk. The closer he got to these people, the closer they got to noticing things that are normally easy to hide - his habits, his health, his patterns of disappearance, his scars.

He traced the old bite scar on his shoulder. It had been a close call. He had to be more careful. It would not do to get lazy. There was too much at stake.

/

Sirius had been very well-behaved, by his standards, since his telling-off from McGonagall. It was much easier at Hogwarts without Rodolphus around to constantly harass him, and while he was still trading spells with some of the younger Slytherins on the regular, it seemed Lucius Malfoy was far more interested in Narcissa than sending his cronies out to terrorize muggleborns and blood traitors.

Of course, there were still trouble areas. In particular - Potions class.

"I hate that she always works with him," James hissed, of course referring to Lily Evans and Snivellus Snape.

"I have a hard time understanding why anyone would choose to spend time with someone who smells like an unwashed erumpent," Sirius said.

"Do erumpents smell bad?" Peter asked.

"Terrible," Sirius told him. "My mother took Regulus and I to a sanctuary in Africa once and-"

"Really? That doesn't seem much like your mother's thing," James interjected.

"It was Uncle Alphard's idea," Sirius said. "But as I was saying-"

He was interrupted again when Peter yelped and jumped back as his potion suddenly erupted in a geyser-like formation."

"Oh my," Professor Slughorn said as he approached. "Too much frog spawn, I imagine, Mr. Pettigrew. "Did any of the splatter hit you?"

"No, sir," Peter said, staring at his feet as the Slytherins laughed at his expense.

"Well then, this is a double period. Start over and see how far you can get before the change," Slughorn told him before turning to gush over Lily Evan's perfectly prune-colored potion.

"Sod off, Rosier," Sirius snapped, gesturing rudely at the Slytherin boy. "You want some help, Petey?"

"Please," his friend said, looking relieved. Sirius abandoned his own potion to rescue Peter, helping him tip the heavy cauldron into the massive drain Slughorn made available to students. Sirius thought the kinder thing to do would be to vanish the potion for them rather than forcing them to wash everything out before starting again, but as he never actually had the issue of starting over himself, he had yet to make a stink over it.

"You're awfully quiet, Lupin," Sirius said as he and Peter returned the cauldron to its rightful place and Peter began wiping it down with a clean flannel.

"The smell in here is making me sick," the sandy-haired boy responded.

Sirius, now concerned, studied his friend carefully. Lupin looked pale and had a grimace on his face.

"Why not ask old Sluggy if you can be excused to the hospital wing?" He suggested.

"Who's going to the hospital wing?" James called from the other side of the work table.

"Nobody's going to the hospital wing," Remus responded. "It's just hard to concentrate, that's all. So please don't distract me."

Sirius and James exchanged a look.

"Do you remember what happened last year?" James asked. "When a certain someone ignored his good friends' advice to leave Transfiguration early?"

"This isn't like that. It's not that bad," Remus grumbled.

"Hey, Loony Lupin" Mulciber called from across the room. "Your potion looks like something my baby sister spit up.

Sirius couldn't help but glance down at Lupin's cauldron. His potion was a sickly shade somewhere between yellow and green.

"Looks more like the color of your mother's face the first time she saw you, Mulciber," Sirius spat back.

"No one asked you," Mulciber sneered.

"Look at how far you've fallen, Black. With your blood you could be in the ranks with us. Instead you chose those simpletons," Rosier taunted.

Sirius started toward them, intent on using his wand to show them who was really a simpleton, but before he got there a wad of something went flying through the air and landed with a splash in Rosier's cauldron.

Sirius turned back in the direction the curious substance had come from.

"Frog spawn - very slippery and tricky to keep your hands on," James said with an innocent shrug.

Catching on, Sirius quickly snatched what was left of Remus' frog spawn off the table and tossed it in Mulciber's cauldron before the other two could react.

A moment later both potions exploded in much the same way Peter's had, only far more dramatically, owning to the fact that there were two instead of one. Sirius began cackling hysterically while Remus sighed and the Slytherins scrambled to avoid the mess.

Slughorn, who had still been singing the praises of Lily Evans, started and looked over.

"Boys, what in the world happened?"

Sirius glared at Rosier, daring him to tell. He thought he was in the clear when the other boy just scowled back, but another voice spoke.

"Potter must have enjoyed the show when his friend's potion exploded, Professor. He threw a whole wad of frog spawn in that cauldron." It was Snape, who was giving them a haughty look while Lily looked on. "It appears Black didn't want to be left out, because he did the same to the one next to it." Sirius made a mental note to retaliate down the line.

"Mr. Potter, is this true?" Slughorn asked.

"Technically speaking," James responded nonchalantly. "I thought Mr. Rosier needed a more thorough education on what could go wrong when one isn't paying close enough attention to the lesson."

"James…" Remus groaned quietly next to Sirius, who simply patted the other boy on the shoulder.

"Mr. Potter, I give the lessons here," Slughorn said. "Though I admit, I did once let Sonny Sandalin take the lead when he came for a visit- he created a lovely brew now known as Sol liqui - popular with the ladies and gentlemen alike for giving the skin the appearance of a sun-kissed glow…"

Sirius tuned Slughorn out in favor of giving the stink eye to Mulciber, who was making moves as though to grab his wand. When he realized Sirius was watching, the other boy paused.

He tuned back into the professor in time to hear "Mr. Potter, Mr. Black, stay after class so we can arrange detention."

"As you wish, professor," Sirius said. "But I really think we should get back to work. I mean, this is a double period, there's still time for my friends over there to get started on a new potion."

Slughorn pursed his lips but decided to let the cheekiness slide. He wasn't very good at managing problem children, of which Sirius was one of the biggest.

Satisfied, Sirius turned back to Peter and Remus. "You need more salamander blood, that should improve the color," Sirius told Remus. "And Petey, let's start from scratch and see if we can get you partial marks at the very least." Sirius was feeling generous with his time and patience that day.

"What about your potion, Sirius?" Peter asked, looking concerned.

"Potter's got it covered for me," he said calmly. James waved a hand and gave the potion two clockwise turns to demonstrate that everything was under control.

"You didn't have to do that for us, you know," Lupin whispered under his breath. "We know better than to take anything those two say seriously."

Sirius observed Remus, who once again looked peaky and unwell, and Peter, who looked so thoroughly lost in the lesson that it was almost pathetic. But all he saw was two of the best friends he'd ever had. It was only natural to defend them.

"No one mocks my friends and gets away with it," he said firmly. "Now Lupin, add the blood then lean back to avoid the fumes, and Petey, measure your ingredients very carefully on those scales…"

By the end of class Sirius had salvaged both the potions and Peter's mood, but as they walked to supper, he noticed Remus was looking even sicker than before, even out of the pungent Potions dungeon.

"He looks unwell again," he said in James' ear low enough that the other two wouldn't hear.

"I noticed," James said back.

"Something's not right."

James nodded. "He said he was going to visit his mother this weekend."

"Curious." Sirius said. "How very curious." He had just found himself a mystery to dive into. Remus wouldn't be upset, he reasoned, if chasing after answers kept him out of bigger trouble.

/

It was several weeks into the term at this point, and Lily was still having problems with Severus. He'd forgiven her for the incident in the entrance hall easily enough, but every time they spoke there seemed to be some new thing that pushed them apart. They were going through the motions of friendship, of course, still trading books and spending time together at night, but what was once a comfortable silence now felt to Lily like an awkward one.

And she knew just who she wanted to take it out on.

"I just don't know what you see in Black and Potter," Lily was saying to Eliza and Mary one evening after the two boys in question lost Gryffindor points for throwing frog spawn at Evan Rosier and Steven Mulciber during Potions.

"I don't know why their antics upset you so much," Mary countered. "There's always a class clown or two in any group."

"This goes beyond 'class clown,'" Lily told them. "Severus said last week Potter and Black locked Rabastan Lestrange in one of the caretaker's cupboards before breakfast. He missed two classes before anyone realized anything was amiss."

"That's because Rabastan Lestrange spends more time skiving classes than in them," Eliza said. "And I heard from Karun Patil in Ravenclaw that Potter and Black jumped in because Lestrange was trying to hex a group of Hufflepuff muggleborns."

Lily frowned. "Severus didn't say anything about that," she said doubtfully.

"Seems an important detail to leave out," Mary said.

"Even so, violence shouldn't be the response for everything," Lily insisted. "Those two are always waving their wands around. Severus said he and Evan Rosier go everywhere as a pair to avoid a Gryffindor attack."

"And do you really think Snape and Rosier have never, ever instigated the attack?" Mary asked. "Now I don't disagree that it's silly and pig-headed, but they're acting no different than the foolish muggle boys I grew up with, who were always throwing fists over the simplest squabbles. I don't understand why it gets you so upset."

"Because Severus is having a hard enough time with his housemates without a couple of rowdy boys picking on him at every turn." Lily immediately knew she'd said too much - Severus was a very private person, and he would not appreciate her spilling his insecurities to a couple of girls he didn't even know. She yelped and covered her mouth with her hands.

"What do you mean, he's having problems?" Mary asked, her face more sympathetic than a moment ago.

Lily sighed. Lucius Malfoy treated Severus like a servant - and he was acting the part, eager for the pureblood boy's approval, which apparently was quite the status symbol in Slytherin. Meanwhile, he told her Evan Rosier and Steven Mulciber were always making fun of his shabby robes and second-hand school supplies, though they claimed to be his friends. Dominic Crabbe and Bernard Goyle, two thick-headed fifth years, were always pushing Severus to write up answer keys that they then used to cheat during quizzes and exams, which Lily couldn't approve of, and Rabastan Lestrange and Nolan Avery made all kinds of awful remarks about Muggleborns - and Lily had noticed her friend didn't say anything to stop them.

"Sometimes I wonder if Slytherin was the right place for him," Lily mused. "Oh, I shouldn't go on about his business like this." She sat down on her bed and put her face in her hands. "What kind of friend am I?"

She and Sev had been arguing more and more often. He didn't like seeing her with Black and Potter - he'd made that much very clear - but she couldn't realistically avoid them all the time - they were the same year and the same House, after all. She'd hoped he might take the time to get to know some of her friends, but that hadn't really happened. Outside Potions and their weekly nighttime meet-ups, she hardly saw him.

Mary sat down next to her and rubbed her back gently. "You and Snape have been friends a long time, haven't you?" She asked.

Lily nodded. "He's the one that told me what I was," she said. "A witch with magical powers. You know the first time he called me a witch, I told him he was being rude and stalked off with my sister?"

Mary and Eliza chucked. "It seems like you got off on the wrong foot with him, just like you did with Black and Potter," Eliza said.

Lily rolled her eyes. "It's not the same thing."

"Frankly, I think you're putting too much stock in what Snape thinks, and too much effort into trying to change Potter and Black," Eliza told her. "If they really upset you so, isn't the best option to just ignore them?"

"If only they were the types that could be ignored," Lily said with a little laugh.

The other two also giggled. "Maybe we should take a break from this conversation and go down to supper?" Mary offered. "I promise to sit between you and Potter or Black."

The redhead stood up and stretched. "Oh, you're right, I'm making such a fuss over other people's problems," she said, trying to brush off her frustration. "Let's go get something to eat."

"It's rather quiet in here for dinnertime, don't you suppose?" Mary asked, looking around the hall.

Lily mimicked her. There was something off about the energy in the hall - many of the older students were missing, and there were many groups of students whispering to each other in a way that just wasn't quite normal. Lily frowned.

Despite her general disapproval of Black and Potter, she had taken one thing to heart - the importance of keeping up in the wizarding world news. Before she could ask an older student what was going on, an owl swooped down with her evening edition of the Daily Prophet.

"Oh my…" Lily said, grabbing the paper and looking at the headlines. "There was an attack on a ministry bureau in Birmingham."

"How awful!" Eliza exclaimed, grabbing for the paper. "That's one of the bigger offices - Birmingham is popular with the muggleborns because the rules are a bit less archaic than they are in London."

Lily felt her stomach sink. An attack on an office that was popular with muggleborns. That was impossible to ignore. "Was anyone seriously hurt?"

"Three people died." The girls jumped -they hadn't heard Henry Connors come up from behind. "It's not in the papers yet, but my cousin works in the office."

"Is your cousin OK?" Mary asked, tears already in her eyes.

He gave a little nod. "He was on lunch break when it happened."

"Oh Henry, how awful. I'm glad he's all right," Eliza said.

"Have you lot heard?" Of course, James Potter was approaching them. Lily knew she'd never escape him.

"We were just talking about it," Eliza said, turning to him.

"My father says they got 15 patients at St. Mungo's. Five of them were critical when they came in," he said grimly.

"Anyone we know?" Henry asked. Lily realized this was the most she'd ever heard Henry speak outside of their football games together. She didn't know much about the boy except that he was quite good at Herbology and that both his parents worked for the Ministry. She wondered how connected he was to the attack - if he had a cousin that worked in the office, it stood to reason he may have other family in the area. She also found herself wondering, to her great shame, if he was pureblood.

"Marlene McKinnon's oldest sister's boyfriend," James told him. "I think your brother knows him."

Henry shook his head sadly. "Clay Raymond?"

James nodded. "Nice bloke. I hope he pulls through."

Henry nodded. "Say, where's Black? Aren't you two usually connected at the hip?"

This was a good point - where was Black? And Peter and Remus, for that matter?

Potter suddenly looked very sad. "Actually, that's why I came down here. He's been trying to get in touch with his cousin."

"The one who ran off with a muggleborn?" Connors asked. "Tonks, right?"

James nodded. "Ted Tonks and Andromeda Black - though it's probably Andromeda Tonks by now. He hasn't heard from her since last term and he has no idea where she's relocated, but with the Birmingham office so popular with muggleborns…" James let the sentence go unfinished, and suddenly Lily felt her heart going out to Sirius Black.

"I can ask around - my older sister is in Hufflepuff - maybe someone's in touch with Tonks," Henry said.

"Thank you," James said, sounding more sincere than Lily had ever heard him. "I'd ask Marlene, but with Clay she's got enough to worry about."

"No trouble," Henry said. "I'll go now." With that, he slipped away to the Hufflepuff table.

James let out a deep sigh and ran a hand through his messy hair, looking troubled.

"I don't suppose any of you would have any suggestions on how to track down Andromeda Black? I'm really open to anything at this point," he said.

Mary shook her head and wiped away more tears. "I'm muggleborn, I have nothing to offer," she told him.

"Hey now, you have plenty to offer," James said aggressively. "Don't let this kind of ugly news get you talking like that."

"I think she meant in terms of tracking down witch and wizard family members," Eliza said delicately.

"Oh. Right."

"Have you tried asking Narcissa Black?" Lily asked, trying to be helpful. It was disconcerting to see Potter so serious - and it made it much more difficult for her to be put out by the very presence of him.

James snorted. "Lupin suggested that too. When I approached her, she told me she didn't know anyone by the name Andromeda and to get my filthy little Gryffindor feet away from the hem of her robes."

"Aren't they sisters?" Eliza asked. "What an awful thing to say."

"The Blacks are a complicated family," James said dismissively.

"What about a scribing spell?" Lily asked, pushing past that particular topic. She didn't want to think about sisters who didn't get along well.

"A what now?" Potter asked, looking confused.

"I've read about them. You need a map, a crystal, and something that belongs to the person, and you use the incantation 'invenio,'" she told him. "We can borrow a crystal from one of the fourth-year Divination students. I've never performed it, but we could give it a try."

"That's a brilliant idea, Evans!" He told her. "I've never heard of that. Just one issue...I'm not sure we have anything that belonged to her."

"Well, perhaps there's another way to try it," she told him. "Run up with me to the common room - I'll grab the book and see what we come up with." She was already headed for the door, completely forgetting her earlier anger at Potter and Black. Right now, Black was a person in need, and she would do whatever she could to help him.

/

James slammed open the dormitory door, making Peter jump. "I come with reinforcements!" He cried. It felt good to be taking action.

Remus glanced up from the parchment his was examining, but Sirius didn't acknowledge anything but the newspaper in front of him, as if staring at it long enough may offer the answers he so desperately wanted.

"Hello, Lily," Remus said pleasantly. "You've come to help?" His casual tone didn't fool James - Remus' condition appeared to be worsening even as he poured over books trying to help Sirius track down Andromeda.

"If I can," she told him. James marveled at how charming Lily looked with her wand behind her ear and a book in her hand. If anyone could find a solution, it would be Lily Evans and Remus Lupin.

"Black, do you have anything that belonged to your cousin?" James asked his friend.

He looked up, clearly annoyed, his face tight with worry. "What are you blathering on about, Potter?"

"Evans has a suggestion for finding your cousin," James said, trying to keep his tone light, knowing how close his friend was to losing it.

Sirius started as if he hadn't even realized the girl was in the room. "Oh. Hi Evans."

"Black," she said, with less than her usual sharpness.

"I still think we should wait for the owl to get back," Peter said nervously. "It's only been a few hours, after all."

James groaned inwardly. That was exactly the wrong thing to say to someone who was panicking that a family member may have perished in a violent attack.

Sirius shot Peter a disgusted look, but thankfully, chose not to rise. "What's this suggestion?"

"It's a scribing spell," Lily said, opening her book to the marked page and putting it on Sirius' bed. The other boys crowded around to get a good look. "It's generally more effective if you have something that belongs to the person."

"Well, I don't have anything like that," Sirius said, looking deeply disappointed. "I don't have anything from her left - my mother burned everything she gave my brother and I over the years."

"That's terrible," Lily said, looking a little indignant on his behalf.

"Bloody barbaric is what it is," James said, shaking his head.

"Is there another way to perform the spell?" Remus asked.

Lily looked uncomfortable. "Well, yes, I was just reviewing and there's actually a way that's even more effective, but it's a little grotesque."

"What do you mean?" James asked her. Remus was flipping the page, having already read the basics of the spell.

A frown appeared on Lily's pretty face. "It calls for human blood."

James tensed, and beside him Sirius did the same. Very few branches of magic called for a witch or wizard's blood, and those spells were always powerful and dangerous, even if only a drop or two was required.

Lily, smart as she was, had picked up on their body language. "I assumed that was a bad thing. That's why I didn't mention it at first."

"Evans…" James said slowly, taking the book away from Remus and examining it carefully. It was old and the cover was so worn he couldn't actually read the title. "Where did you get this book?"

"I'm not sure I want to answer that," she said, her voice quiet.

"I don't understand the problem. It's just a locating spell. So what if it calls for a little finger prick?" Peter broke in.

"Always so naive, Petey. What kind of spells do you think require blood sacrifice?" Sirius asked. He grabbed the book from James, opened it to a random page and began reading.

"To pause time - this spell works only for a few moments, so use great caution. Terrible things can happen to those who meddle with time." He kept reading. "It requires 300 milliliters of blood."

Lily paled. "I hadn't read that far," she whispered.

'To call forth a lupine beast to do your bidding. Do they mean a werewolf?" Sirius had flipped a few more pages. "It requires - that can't be safe."

"Lily, did you get this book from the library?" Remus asked, looking supremely concerned.

She shook her head.

"Well I think it's clear we can't use this spell," Sirius said, throwing the book away in disgust.

"The first half of the book is all relatively simple spells that require artifacts of some sort. I didn't realize how dark it got." Lily looked shaken.

"What kind of artifacts?" Sirius asked nastily. "Human bones? Toe nails?"

"We use all kinds of strange ingredients in Potions, and the older students use all kinds of things in Ancient Ruins and Divination," Lily responded. "I just assumed crystals and knives and daggers were another type of magic."

"Knives? What spell uses knives?"

"It's supposed to be an immobilization spell," Lily said.

Sirius rolled his eyes, and James knew his friend was reaching a breaking point. "Do you really think it does just that? There are plenty of ways to immobilize someone without enchanting a knife."

James ran a hand through his hair, thoroughly cross. He thought he was presenting Sirius with a solution. Instead, he'd brought a book of dark arts into the dormitory.

"The book's from Snape, isn't it?" He asked in a low voice.

"It's not really any of your business where the book is from," Lily said.

"You realize what that book is now, don't you?" He said, fully aware that she might go off on him as she so often did.

But she didn't get angry, yell, or do any of the things James was coming to associate as classic Lily. Instead, she just sighed and cracked her knuckles. He'd never seen her do this before and was momentarily distracted, always interested in learning something new about the girl, but quickly regained focus.

"I realize what it is now," she finally responded. She turned to Sirius. "I hope you hear from your cousin soon." With that, she grabbed the book off the floor and walked out.

"Sod it," Sirius muttered after she left. "I was beginning to think with Evans on our side we'd actually find a spell that worked."

"At least she tried," Remus said softly.

A half hour later Henry Connors paid them a visit, informing them one of the seventh-year Hufflepuffs was indeed in touch with Ted Tonks and informing them that the couple had settled in a little town outside Bath, nowhere near Birmingham. Late that night, Sirius received a response from Andromeda, assuring him all was well and that she would try to write to him again, but that she was trying to keep a low profile and off any Black radar.

James feared that her response would send Sirius into another mood, but the boy was so relieved his cousin was alive and away from the danger he forgot to mope about her estrangement and things quickly settled.

But as James crawled into bed, he thought of Lily. All animosity between them had fallen away in the face of something more important. Did that mean there was still a chance at something there?

The question kept him up all night.

/

"Remus is gone again," Peter said when James and Sirius got in from a detention for throwing frog spawn at a Evan Rosier in Potions two days before.

"At least he told us he was going this time," James said, dropping his bag on the ground and flopping on his bed. After the drama of the Birmingham attack, Peter was glad he had the heads up that Remus was leaving, but he was still unhappy about it.

"Yes, but I spent Saturday moping around the dormitory by myself," Peter complained. The mood at Hogwarts was somber after news of the attack. Many students had family members in the Ministry, and while all 15 injured were expected to recover, three people had died. One of them was a young woman just two years out of Hogwarts, which had caused quite a stir amongst the older students. That wasn't something people forgot about as quickly as faceless muggles murdered in their homes.

"Better than scrubbing smushed salamander eyes off old Sluggy's storage shelves for two hours," Sirius commented, kicking off his shoes.

"You know, it was weird, over the summer, Remus' mum didn't strike me as sickly at all," James mused. "In fact, if I didn't know better, I'd say Remus was the one prone to illness in that family."

"Well, you spend a lot more time with Remus than we did with his mum," Peter pointed out with a sigh. He didn't want to get into one of James and Sirius' endless debates about Remus and his absences. Plenty of people liked to keep family health business private, after all. Peter had no desire to pry.

Of course, Sirius and James loved to pry.

"You know, I asked father about muggle illnesses. He said there are all kinds of things it could be, but when I asked if there were common conditions that could be passed along to children, he said most muggle maladies don't affect wizards, even half bloods" James said.

Sirius shrugged. "How much research do you really think they've done on muggle maladies, Potter? It's not like our institutions are particularly concerned with the well-being of muggles or muggleborns."

"I'll have you know my father had made a great effort over the years to expand our medical understanding of muggles as well as other magical creatures," James retorted.

Sirius sighed dramatically. "Right, I forgot. The perfect Potters with their practical perspective that puts pureblood and no blood on a level playing field."

"Don't mock my surname with all that alliteration," James said. "Petey, when he gets back, you should ask Lupin specifically what his mother has, then we can research it."

"I'm not doing that!" Peter exclaimed. "Why can't you do it?"

"Because if I do it, he'll know we're prying. But if you do it, he'll think it just comes from a place of concern," James said.

"Plus, you're more likely to recognize the name of a muggle illness anyway, right? Didn't you do to muggle primary school?" Sirius asked.

"I'm not going to trick Remus into telling us his family's private business just so you two have a way to entertain yourselves," Peter told them, feeling braver than usual. "Some people don't like to talk about family issues."

"Like how you won't tell us more about your father?" Sirius said without an ounce of tact.

Peter frowned back. It was true, he had told his friends little about his father, but was that really so hard to understand? Sirius came from a family full of people who would probably support the murder of a man who worked with muggles, after all. And James never kept anything from Sirius. Peter hadn't even worked up the guts to tell the whole story to Remus, though he imagined he could trust him with his feelings more than the other too.

"Black, really?" James threw a shoe at him. He turned back to Peter. "Fine, Petey, when you put it that way I see your point."

"Really?" Peter never won arguments with his quick-witted friends.

"Well, yes. But in return for me taking your concern seriously, I think you should take ours more seriously."

"What do you mean, James?" He asked, already confused by the wordplay.

"I think there's more to Lupin's disappearances than he's been letting on, and I think it's important we make it a goal to find out the truth," James said. "Friends look out for each other, you know. We're just looking out for him."

"Here here!" Sirius cried, making James laugh. Peter sighed, defeated as usual.

"I was thinking perhaps tonight we could work on the map for a bit," he said, trying to change the subject. "We haven't touched it since we returned." In truth, he just wanted some attention from his friends after a day alone, and part of him was jealous that Remus seemed to get their attention even when he wasn't there.

James and Sirius glanced at each other, then nodded.

James, who had become the unofficial keeper of the map, being the neatest of the boys, pulled it out, while Sirius pulled out his half-finished muggle model. "If we're going to have a productive night in, I'll work on this at the same time," he said.

Peter grabbed a bunch of papers that were on the floor to clear a space for the map, but as he did so, something caught his eye.

"Hey, doesn't that look like Gideon Prewett?" He asked, pointing at a small figure on the edge of the large photo in the Daily Prophet showing the destruction in Birmingham. The figure was only half in the frame, but the trademark red hair caught his attention.

"Don't be ridiculous, Petey," Sirius said, glancing over his shoulder. "Prewett is on track to be a curse-breaker for the bank, there's no reason for him to be in - holy hippogriff!"

Peter just sat back smugly as Sirius snatched the paper out of his hand and squinted at the tiny figure, which appeared to be walking down the street toward the office with a wand out.

"Let me see!" James said, grabbing for the paper.

After several moments of close examination hunched over the newspaper, the boys stood up.

"Good eye, Petey!" James said enthusiastically. "Do you realize what this means?"

"Umm…" In truth, Peter wasn't sure it meant anything, but he knew James and Sirius were about to explain some kind of wild theory to him.

"It means Gideon is likely working with his brother in whatever secret service Dumbledore is running!" Sirius said excitedly.

Peter sighed. As usual, his friends were jumping to conclusions. "You don't even know that Fabian Prewett was working for Dumbledore last year."

"Whatever are you talking about Petey? Dumbledore as good as confirmed it for us last year," James said.

"That's a stretch," Peter said, wishing Remus was there to talk sense into the other boys. "Remus said all he did was confirm he knew what death eaters are."

"But if you put two and two together, it all fits," Sirius insisted. "I'll bet Gideon was investigating the attack in Birmingham. You know they warned muggleborns to stay away from the area for fear that they were the target of the attack? Prewett's a pureblood, so he wouldn't be considered in much danger."

"What kind of world are we living in that you have to hide out depending on your blood status? James grumbled. "You can't even tell the difference just by looking."

"Well that's part the problem, isn't it?" Sirius said. "Pureblood recognizes pureblood after years of mixing at high-brow society parties or attending Hogwarts together. But the muggleborns don't know Sirius Black from William Shakespeare. The purebloods have a good idea of how to identify each other before they ever set foot in Hogwarts."

"Like how you immediately recognized Barty Crouch at the sorting?"

"Precisely, Petey," Sirius said. "Trust me, the us-versus-them mentality is taught early."

"Come on, Black, not all of us purebloods are like that," James protested. "And you must admit, some of that has to do with money."

"Oh really?" Sirius asked. "How many people did you know when you started a Hogwarts last year?"

"I couldn't possibly count. What's your point?" James asked.

"Petey, how many students did you know when you stepped on the Hogwarts Express?" Sirius asked.

"No one," Peter told them.

James started. "What? Are you serious?"

"This is my point!" Sirius exclaimed. "Anyone who isn't pureblood starts with a deficit - and muggleborns are the farthest behind - no matter how smart, no matter how skilled, it takes time to make friends and learn certain things that even the poorest purebloods already know coming into this world."

Peter was amazed at the amount of thought Sirius had put into this argument - and how hard it hit him that it was true. He'd always known there was a distance between him and James and Sirius, but he'd always chalked it up to wealth and personality. And he had a magical mother! It must be even more of a gap for muggleborns.

"I suppose it's impossible to deny that," James said, looking unhappy. "But that doesn't mean all of us go around trying to flaunt those differences. At our core, we're all just people."

"Of course we are, Potter," Sirius said, shaking his head. "But try telling that to these fanaticis."

Peter felt a sense of foreboding he knew the other two would never truly understand. James always believed the difference in people was good and evil. While Sirius saw more shades of grey, Peter could tell at his core he believed the same. But what if they were wrong? What if the difference in people came down the powerful and the weak? The privileged and the oppressed? The purebloods, and everyone else?

As he looked at his two friends, Peter was shaken to his core. They were on the same side now, but was it really possible for things to remain that way for all of time, with everything that separated them?

* * *

A/N: Shoutout to my reviewers on the last chapter - CassidysPersona and loverofmuggles. It's always a wonderful feeling to see people enjoying and analyzing a story you've spent so much time going over in your own head. Thank you to all my reviewers and I hope you enjoyed the latest installment.


	36. An Obvious Problem

A close call with James earlier in the week left Remus on edge before the transformation, which was never good for his meeting with the wolf. He awoke with a start in considerable pain and with blood flowing from his neck.

Remus knew from years of transforming that the worst thing to do when you wake up bleeding profusely is to panic - panic made blood run faster. He also knew it was best not to move, unless of course you could staunch the bleeding.

It was funny - the prospect of his secret being found out had sent him into panic mode in the past, but he was able to control his emotions well enough in the life-threatening scenario.

So he did nothing but lay on the floor and pray to his mother's muggle God that he wouldn't die on the floor before Madam Pomfrey found him. He heard her footsteps and the dismayed sound that came from deep in her throat as she approached, then lost consciousness.

His first thought when he opened his eyes in his little isolation room in the hospital Wing hours later was "Oh, it seems it wasn't my time to die."

He didn't realize he'd said it out loud until he heard a woman's voice chuckle.

"No, dear boy, and thank Merlin for that."

It was Professor Cadance, who was sitting in a chair next to his bed with a stack of parchments on her lap he assumed must be grading. She leaned over and grabbed a cup of water off his bedside table and directed the straw toward his mouth.

"I was left with strict instructions from Poppy to make sure you drank some water as soon as you awoke," she said.

He gulped the clear liquid gratefully. "Did you know that 11 percent of registered werewolves confined during full moons die of self-inflicted injuries?" His throat was raw and speech hurt, but it felt very important that he tell her that fact.

"I did not, and I must say that's a horrifying statistic," she responded, placing the cup back on the table once he'd finished.

"Really?" He asked. "I always found it a hopeful one. Unlike this - 94 percent of registered werewolves in Great Britain are chronically unemployed, five percent find employment with muggles and the remaining one percent are paid to be test subjects for various werewolf research." He wasn't sure why he was bringing this up, but once he'd started talking, he couldn't stop. "Of course, most werewolves don't have wands, so their employment options in the wizarding world are limited. In fact, most who were bitten as children never finish or even start their magical education, so they wouldn't know how to use a wand anyway."

The witch closed her eyes and pursed her lips as if she were in pain.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I'm not sure why I brought that up." It was not like him to wallow in self-pity. After all, a werewolf hardly deserved that.

"Did you know, there was a time in the not so distant past muggleborn unemployment hovered around 75 percent?" She told him

Remus blinked. "I did not know," he told her.

"Oh yes," she said. "It was the 1930s and outside of Britain Gellert Grindelwald was gaining power. But we had enough problems back home. A particular political faction of purebloods had was pushing a nasty piece of legislation that required that all Ministry employees have at least one magical parent. Plenty of private businesses were already implementing such discriminatory practices, though there were some places, like Hogwarts, that welcomed any witch or wizard with the appropriate skills."

"That's awful," Remus said, thinking of his mother. "Why did people have such a problem with muggles?"

"Remus, dear, surely you're smart enough to understand how deeply ingrained prejudices can run, even if there's no basis in reality," the professor told him. "But allow me to tell you something else you don't know that may cheer you up."

Remus waited expectantly, not sure what she could say that would make him feel better for the status of muggleborns and half bloods, like himself.

"By 1946 they'd eliminated both voluntary and involuntary muggleborn registries and several years after that stopped tracking muggleborn unemployment as anything other than general wizarding unemployment. Can you imagine why?" She asked.

He shook his head.

"Because after years of fighting both physically and politically, another political faction, made up of both pureblood and muggleborn alike, pushed back and fought for what they believed was right. That, and after years of debate and discussion, culture changed, and private businesses stopped prescribing to the idea that muggleborns were any less valuable as employees than anyone else." She smiled at him. "These things don't happen overnight, my dear. Nor do they happen without a lot of fuss along the way. But progress does happen. And Professor Dumbledore is a good person to have on your side."

"I guess I have to just stay alive long enough to see it," Remus quipped. In truth, he couldn't imagine any progress on the worldview on werewolves. After all, turning into a monster created more of a problem than simply being born to muggle parents.

She patted him on the knee. "I suppose one as young as you can't imagine how drastically the world can change. But it can. And it will."

"How?"

"It starts small. Perhaps with the first werewolf ever granted attendance at Hogwarts. Perhaps as that person makes friends and shows the world the kind of person he is, things can start to change."

Remus snorted. "I doubt I'd have any friends if they knew the truth of what I was," he said.

"I wouldn't be so sure," she told him calmly. "But enough of that talk - I'm sure Poppy will want to check on you now that you're awake.

Remus sighed. The intellectual stimulation of the conversation had made him forget his pains for a moment. Now they rushed back. "How long have I been out, anyway?" He asked.

"It's about 8 p.m., dear. I imagine you're hungry.

He sighed again. "I suppose I'll be missing a few days of class this time," he said mournfully. Suddenly, he became aware of the feeling of bandages around his neck, and felt cold. He wouldn't be able to hide his injury from his friends, or the rest of the students, in his typical robes, which had only a small collar.

His realization must have showed on his face, because Professor Cadance looked alarmed. "What's wrong, Remus? You've just gone white."

"James and Sirius," he said. "They'll notice my injuries and ask questions." Those two were always asking questions - they couldn't help themselves. But it could mean disaster if he couldn't come up with a good answer - and what kind of excuse could he possibly make for a slash across his neck?

He was tired, he was chronically sick in the worst way, and even with an understanding ear from Professor Cadance, he was feeling hopeless again. It was just too impossible to believe that things might be better someday, when they felt so hopeless today.

/

Lily was so furious over the book Severus gave her she skipped their planned meeting Friday, knowing that if she spoke to him in anger they would only fight.

She hung around the Common Room Saturday catching up on homework, unwilling to run the risk of running into him while she worked out what to say about the awful things in the book. She had read through the entire thing to determine for herself if blood magic was as nefarious as Potter and Black had suggested, and she did feel, based on the later spells in the book, that they may be right. It was impossible that Severus didn't know what was in the book - he always read things through before recommending them to her.

Finally, Sunday he came looking for her, grabbing Eliza in the Great Hall and asking her to deliver the message.

Slightly softened by the fact that he'd braved the Gryffindor table looking for her, Lily left the Gryffindor Common Room for the library, where he said he'd be waiting. She brought the book with her.

"Why did you skip our meeting Friday?" he asked when she approached. He looked hurt.

"This is why," she said, throwing the book down on the table.

He looked confused. "You didn't like the book?"

"No Sev, I didn't like the book," she told him sternly. "Do you realize what kinds of things this book suggests?"

"I don't understand," he said. "I wasn't suggesting you try any of the more advanced spells, I just thought you'd find it interesting."

"You thought I'd find blood sacrifice interesting?" she asked in disbelief. "There's a spell in here that calls for 5 litres of human blood. Do you realize how much that is? You'd have to die, or kill for that."

He scoffed. "Or simply be prepared with plenty of blood-replenishing potion. Honestly Lily, I think you're overreacting."

She shook her head. "This is a book of Dark Arts, Sev. This isn't the way magic should be used."

"Who decides what way magic should be used?" He countered. "Who decides what gets labeled a dark art, what should and shouldn't be taught in schools? You know, there's a school in Africa that teach students the Animagus transformation. In Britain you have to be of age and registered with the ministry to even attempt it. Whoever decided that?"

She didn't know what an Animagus transformation was, but the way he was talking made Lily uncomfortable. "That's different. Some things are just wrong, Sev."

"Like what? Killing people?" He asked. "Of course it sounds wrong on paper, Lily."

"Not just on paper - " He raised a finger to indicate he wasn't done and she paused.

"Of course killing for the sake of killing is wrong, Lily. But what if it's kill or be killed? What if you could pause a moment in time to save a friend's life? What if calling forth a werewolf was the only way you could protect your family?"

She shook her head back and forth furiously. "There has to be a better way than what's in this book!" She practically shouted, forgetting they were in the library.

He was quiet for a moment and rubbed his temples. "You're always so set in your ways once you decide something," he said. "But you used to wait to make decisions until you talked it over with me."

"You used to be my only key to the magical world, Sev," she told him. "But now that I'm seeing more and more of it, there are some things I can decide for myself."

He looked at her sadly. "I know you're able to decide for yourself. I just wish you would talk things over with me like you used to - to consider for a moment that a different point of view may exist."

And there it was - he always seemed to say the things that would make her stand down - so unlike Potter, who usually just fired her up more.

She cracked her knuckles to buy herself a moment to decide what to say. "What if we agree to disagree on this?"

His expression immediately brightened. "That seems reasonable. And perhaps we can return to this discourse as a later time?"

His sudden change of mood made her laugh in spite of herself. "Return to this discourse? Where did you learn to talk like that?"

"Malfoy," he admitted. "He says how you present yourself is one of the biggest indicators of your breeding. He's been giving me etiquette lessons."

"Your breeding? You're not a dog."

"It makes it easier to blend in among the Slytherins," he said with a shrug. "Sometimes being a good actor can be a useful skill."

While she didn't agree that one should pretend to be something they're not, she knew her friend had been struggling with his housemates and if he'd found a way to cope, she wasn't going to criticize.

Deciding to take advantage of a rare chance to spend time with Severus at school, she suddenly had an idea.

"Sev, it's a beautiful afternoon - what if we take a stroll out on the grounds?"

"A stroll on the grounds?" He repeated, looking skeptical.

"Come on, we used to spend hours outside at home exploring," she urged. What she left unsaid was the fact that they were outside to avoid Petunia and his parents.

He checked the clock. "I suppose a short adventure could be fun."

"Of course it will be," she said happily, grabbing his arm and pulling him up before he could change his mind. "Grab your bag and let's go."

And that was how the pair wound up behind Hagrid's hut staring at the Forbidden Forest.

"Surely it's forbidden for a reason," Lily whispered, though she could feel her curiosity getting the best of her.

"My mother told me in her time there was no explicit rule about the forest. Once, a boy went in, on a dare from other students - no doubt he was a Gryffindor - and didn't return for days. They sent a search party for him and he was eventually returned by a group of Centaurs who said they found him walking circles in a clearing deep in the forest. He wouldn't tell anyone what happened to him in there and he was never the same afterward. That was around the time they ruled it forbidden."

"I wonder what he saw," Lily said. She was still staring at the forest with interest. There was what appeared to be a trailhead where they were standing - she imagined Hagrid must venture into the forest from time to time, doing whatever it was magical gamekeepers did. "Do you think Hagrid would take us in, if we asked politely?"

Her friend snorted. "Why would you want to go in?"

"With all the reading we do on magical creatures, aren't you curious to see some in real life?" She asked. "There must be all kinds in there. You just mentioned Centaurs."

He snorted again, louder this time. "Running into a Centaur probably wouldn't be too bad, but there are rumors there are things like acromantula in the forest."

"Acro-what?"

"Giant spiders," he said. "The older students also say there are werewolves, but I think that's unlikely - werewolves are in their human form most of the month - I imagine without a wand you wouldn't stand much chance against the other things in that forest."

"Why don't werewolves have wands?" Lily asked him. She did this partially because he liked being the expert on things, but also because she genuinely wanted to know.

"Lily, be reasonable. Werewolves are depraved creatures - have you heard about the kind of slaughter that happens when one gets loose on a full moon? They can't be trusted with wands."

But everything I've read suggests they only lose their minds during the full moon. How do they survive the rest of the time if they're not allowed a wand?"

He shrugged. "Scraping the bottom of the bin, I imagine. What does it matter? They're not truly human anymore - they're beasts."

Something deep in her gut told Lily that it should matter, but she didn't know much about werewolves and didn't want to start an argument. So she just shrugged.

"I still imagine the forest must be full of things worth seeing," she said, trying to change the subject. "Someone told me there are unicorns in there. I'd love to see one up close."

"Then take Care of Magical Creatures," he said. "Honestly, there's no reason to go into that forest. That's just the Gryffindor in you talking. Use your head."

She found herself irked by the jab at her House, and was starting to wonder why exactly she'd been so keen to spend time with Severus, when he spoke again.

"Would you like to walk around the lake?" He asked her. "I know how much you love being near the water."

Her annoyance vanished. "Oh yes, let's do that," she said with a smile.

He smiled back at her. "I hear there's a cliff on the north side with an incredible view of the castle. Let's see if we can find it." He held out his hand, and she took it.

So they were both growing up, she thought as they headed for the lake. Their friendship was bound to have growing pains as that happened. But he was still her Severus. They didn't have to agree on everything to be best friends.

Or so she convinced herself.

/

"Lupin, what the bloody hell are you wearing?" Sirius burst out as soon as his friend walked through the dormitory door Wednesday morning.

"'Hello Remus, how's your mum? We've been thinking of you,'" James added quickly. "That is how one greets a friend who's been off visiting an ailing relative, Black," he said, shooting the other boy a look. Remus had been gone the whole weekend and two days of class on top of that, and James had been rather concerned that meant he'd return with bad news. Remus looked a bit tired and strained, but there were no obvious signs of grief that would suggest the worst had happened. James again had to wonder if Remus' mother was really sick, or if it was just some kind of excuse to hide some darker secret.

"She's doing better now, thank you James," Remus said. "And it's a cravat, Sirius. My mother gave it to me while I was home. She says it looks smart."

Sirius snorted. "I know what it's called - my mother makes me wear one with my dress robes. But why in the world are you wearing one?"

"I told you, my mother gave it to me," he said.

"Well your mother isn't here now," Sirius said, stepping forward and reaching forward. "You don't have to wear that ridiculous thing here - she'll never know the difference." He almost had his hand around the fabric when James saw the look on Remus' face and alarm bells went off.

"Don't go around manhandling people, Black," he said quickly, doing exactly that by grabbing Sirius by the scruff and pulling him back with a powerful yank before the bigger boy could strip Remus of his new accessory. "If Remus wants to wear something his mother gave him, it's his prerogative."

"Doesn't it make you feel constricted?" Peter asked. "I don't even like to wear a neck tie."

Remus shrugged. "I find it feels very cozy, especially in this drafty castle," he said. "Now, if you excuse me, I want to get down to breakfast early. I'm starving."

"Oh, me too!" Peter squealed. "Let me just grab my bag."

Sirius made a motion as if to join them but James shot him a look and he hung back. One the other two had left, the best friends turned to each other.

"I'll bet money he's wearing that thing to hide something on his neck," Sirius hissed. "That's why I was trying to take it off."

"I know it was," James hissed back. "But did you really think the best way to confront the issue would be to strip him of his security blanket in front of all of us? He's obviously hiding it for a reason."

"He doesn't have to hide anything from us, we're his friends!" Sirius said. "And if he's hurt, he needs help - help we can't give him if he won't tell us what's wrong!"

"Every man has his pride, Black," James said. "Maybe he doesn't want to ask for our help."

"Bollocks!" Sirius cried. "He's lying to us about something - something to do with his sick mum - and I for one don't appreciate being lied to."

"Quiet down," James said. "I don't like it either. But if we have any hope of staying friends with Lupin, we can't just force his secrets out. He's obviously embarrassed by it, if he won't tell us."

"Maybe Lupin doesn't see us as good friends as we see him," Sirius grumbled, looking rather put out.

"Oh, don't be like that," James said. "We're his friends, and he's our friend. He must have a good reason for hiding whatever it is he's hiding." Privately, James thought Sirius should understand that there were things people wanted to hide, considering he obviously hid aspects of what went on at home from his friends as well. But James wasn't going to push Sirius - at the moment, Lupin's problem seemed more pressing. "Now, I don't want to hear another word about the cravat. Humiliating him won't help anything."

Unfortunately, as cravats weren't exactly the height of fashion, James and Sirius soon found themselves defending their friend's attire to hostile parties. Namely, Narcissa Black.

"What is the little halfblood wearing?" she said in a stage whisper to Brynany Selwyn as the two groups crossed paths in the corridor on the way to Charms.

James felt Sirius bristle next to him, but Remus just kept walking as if he hadn't heard. Being ignored didn't suit Narcissa, so she laid it on thicker.

"You know, on a real man, like Lucius, that thing might start a trend. But on a scrawny little halfblood…" She clucked her tongue.. "I just don't know what my cousin is thinking with the company he keeps…"

James grabbed Sirius' wrist before he could grab his wand. "Don't rise." He breathed. "Not like this. That's what she wants."

"Potter, you never let me have any fun anymore," Sirius whined, trying to shake his arm loose.

James raised an eyebrow. "I said not like this. I didn't say not at all."

Sirius immediately stopped struggling. "What do you have in mind?"

James grinned. "Something...messy."

After classes that day, James and Sirius excused themselves from Remus and Peter to take a covert trip down to Hagrid's. James knew from casual conversation last year that Hagrid collected unicorn dung to fertilize the gardens in the fall.

"How are we going to get it inside?" Sirius asked, frowning. The buckets Hagrid left against the side of his hut were large and would be obvious to carry inside. The boys would need two hands to carry one - and even covered with the invisibility cloak, it could get awkward, and therefore risky.

James examined the bucket then sighed. "Sacrifices have to be made for the greater good," he said. He held up his bag. "I emptied it before we came down."

Sirius wrinkled his nose. "You're a better man than I, Potter."

James grinned. "Well we already knew that," he said. "Now come on, I found a spell that will mask the smell long enough to get it passed the entrance hall. Where are we headed after that?"

"Narcissa and Malfoy have a standing date on Wednesdays in the library, the accounting section." Sirius said. "No one ever goes there. She always shows up first - all we have to do is get in and out of there before Malfoy shows up."

"Brilliant." James said. With that, he grabbed a shovel and began piling the dung into his bag.

"Think the house elves will be able to get that out?" Sirius asked, still wrinkling his nose.

"I think I have to write home for a new bag," James said.

Fully loaded, the boys scampered back up to the castle and into the library, which was relatively empty.

"OK, we smear it under the table so when she pulls her chair in it rubs off on her legs," Sirius instructed, pulling on his dragonhide gloves for the jobs.

"Why not put it directly on the chair?" James asked.

Sirius shook his head. "Too noticeable - she may see it before she takes a seat and then we'll have wasted our time."

"Fair enough," James said, putting on his own gloves and getting to work.

The boys worked quickly, unsure of how long the anti-stench smell would hold out, then huddled under the invisibility cloak and waited for their target.

Narcissa showed up first and alone, as Sirius had predicted. She walked into and dropped her bag on the ground without so much as a glance around, then pulled out the chair.

She slid under the table, then leaned over and pulled a book from her bag as if nothing was amiss. James had to cover Sirius' mouth to muffle the sound of his giggles.

A minute or two passed before their spell wore off, but the moment it did, the girl wrinkled delicate nose. She began looking around, then, with a horrified look, pushed her chair back and looked at her legs.

Her shriek was so loud James was sure they heard it all the way up in Gryffindor Tower. Madam Pince, the frigid librarian, came tearing around the stacks a moment later.

"This is a library!" She said shrilly. But Narcissa just kept screaming.

Lucius Malfoy, no doubt drawn in by his girlfriend's cries, came rushing around a stack a moment later. "Cissy, dear, what's wrong? And what is that awful smell?"

"It's all OVER me," she cried. She was now standing up and streaks of the curiously sparkly dung were obvious on her black robes.

Lucius pulled out his wand. "I'll just vanish it," he said.

"No!" She ordered him. "I've seen your vanishing spells - you'll probably vanish my robes along with it!"

The boy looked affronted. "Surely not."

"Who would DO such a thing? In the LIBRARY?" Madam Pince was saying.

"Time to go," James whispered to Sirius, who was doubled over trying to stay quiet. The boys made off for the safety of the Gryffindor Common Room, leaving the chaos of their prank behind them.

It wasn't until they gave the Fat Lady the password and were crawling through the portrait hole that James realized he'd made a grievous error - he'd left his bag still half full of unicorn dung behind.

/

Sirius Black was no stranger to getting into trouble, but this was something else.

"You left your BAG?" He asked his best friend, incredulous. They were back in their dormitory with Remus and Peter, who had been briefed on what just happened. James Potter's bag was of the high-quality leather variety and embossed with his name.

"I know, I know," James groaned.

"But do you really know?" Sirius said, his voice unnaturally high. "Do you have any idea what my mother is going to do when she finds out?" He could never go home again, he decided right then and there. His mother would torture him into madness for this - picking on the girls had never been tolerated at home, and this was far beyond anything he'd ever been brave enough to attempt before.

"McGonagall won't write your mom if you ask her not to," James said.

"I'm not sure that's true," Remus said softly. "This is a fair bit worse than anything you've been caught doing before."

"Even if McGonagall doesn't write, Narcissa will," Sirius moaned. "The ink on the letter will be done before McGonagall even determines our punishment." He felt himself shaking. Why had he ever thought pranking his cousin would be a good idea?

"Black, calm down," James said. "It's my bag. I'll take the fall."

"I can't let you do that," Sirius gasped. "Malfoy will target you for the next two years."

James shrugged. "It's my bag," he repeated. "And it was my idea."

"Why did you two decide to go after Narcissa anyway?" Remus asked.

Sirius and James exchanged a look, which did not go unnoticed by Remus.

"Why?" He asked again in a sterner voice.

"The cravat," James admitted. "She was picking on you and -"

Remus cut him off by throwing his hands up in the air. "Are you KIDDING me?" He said. Sirius couldn't help but flinch - Lupin didn't shout often and it wasn't pleasant when he did. "I've told you two before - I know better than to let simple words like that get under my skin."

"That doesn't make those kinds of words right," James snapped back. "Someone has to stand up to those snotty purebloods. No offense, Black."

"None taken," Sirius said, though he was feeling weary. "You can't take the blame, Potter. Besides, they'll assume I was with you."

"Not if Lupin provides you with an alibi," James said, turning to the sandy-haired boy.

"You want me to cover for your moronic mistake?" Remus asked, shaking his head.

"No, I fully intend to pay the consequences for my moronic mistake," James said. "What I want you to do is cover for Sirius to protect him from his mad family."

Sirius glared at him. How is it that Potter always saw through him so shrewdly?

Next to him, Remus was sighing. "Well when you put it that way…"

"Good man," James said as a knock sounded on the door.

"Come in!" Peter called. The door opened to reveal Kingsley Shacklebolt..

"Potter, McGonagall wants you in her office, now," he said.

"Oh my, I wonder what the dear professor wants," James said lightly. Shacklebolt gave him a long-suffering look. "Best not to keep her waiting, then." He gave his friends a little wave and followed the prefect out.

When the door shut behind them, no one spoke for a moment.

"You know, you really shouldn't put yourself at risk over me," Remus finally said to Sirius.

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Save it, Lupin. Someone has to have your back."

"Covering my back shouldn't mean sticking out your neck," the other boy countered. "Your mother would be furious."

"I can handle my mother," Sirius lied.

"Can you?" Remus countered.

There was a determined look in his friend's eyes that stopped Sirius from answering. He feared Remus, like James, would be able to see through him if he spoke. And he wasn't ready for them to know the truth. So he lashed out.

"I can handle my mother better than you handle yours," he spit out. "I bet she's not as sick as you say - you just can't help but run home every time she comes calling because you're nothing more than a little mama's boy. This whole mess is because you wouldn't take that ridiculous thing off your neck."

Peter gasped from behind him. Sirius knew he had just said something many people would consider unforgivable - to insinuate Remus' mother wasn't sick, and worse, to insult him for tending to her - was an awful thing to do no matter how you looked at it.

Lupin's hand went to the cravat on his neck and eyes blazed. "At least my mother isn't ashamed of what I am."

Sirius felt like he'd been hit by a Stunning spell. Never, in his wildest dreams, would he ever have imagined that Remus Lupin could say something so cruel.

"Remus!" Peter squeaked, but the sandy-haired boy ignored him, instead opting to pick up his bag.

"I'm going to go work on my Transfiguration essay," Remus said in a level voice. "Don't wait up."

With that, we walked out of the room with Sirius still unable to speak.

After the door slammed, he could feel Peter staring at him, obviously afraid to speak.

"I suppose I deserved that," Sirius said finally.

The smaller boy made a sympathetic sound. "It's not true," he said.

"But it is," Sirius told him with a shrug. "Lupin is nothing if not insightful."

Peter frowned. "OK, maybe there's some truth to it. But just because she's ashamed of what you are, doesn't mean you should be."

Sirius gave Peter an appraising look. Just as he'd never expected Remus to be so cruel, he was surprised that Peter could say something so kind. It made him smile in spite of himself.

"Thanks, Petey," he said. Then he sighed. "But I'm ashamed of me right now. Why can't I keep my stupid mouth shut?"

"I'm sure Remus will forgive you if you apologize," Peter told him. "He's not the type to hold a grudge."

Sirius wasn't so sure of that - he had seen the betrayal in Lupin's eyes. He was so preoccupied with replaying that in his mind he almost missed what Peter said next.

"Besides, he's clearly hiding something under that thing around his neck. I'm sure that has something to do with what just happened, and frankly, I'd like to know what's going on with him."

Sirius rubbed his ear furiously, not sure he had heard properly. "Say that again?"

"I said he's clearly hiding something under that thing around his neck and -" Sirius held up a hand. "I just wanted to make sure I heard you right. Are you saying you're willing to admit something isn't right about his disappearances?"

Peter shifted his weight between his two feet and looked uncomfortable. "Well, yes, but I think you should go make up first. Especially if you want him to lie to McGonagall for you."

"Of course Petey," Sirius said, ruffling his friend's hair. "Although I'm rubbish at apologies." His mind was already four steps ahead. Surely Remus had known how harsh his words were. Remus was never the type to cause hurt simply because someone had caused him hurt. No, there was more to the exchange that just occured than appeared on the surface. Remus had sensed Sirius pushing him away from some truth, and pushed back in return. Sirius knew exactly what secret he was trying to hide, but what was Remus hiding?

What was Remus hiding? He'd asked himself the question before, but he was more determined than ever to find the answer this time. But first, he had to apologize.

/

Peter found himself drawn into his friend's drama once again. At least this time he'd had the chance to make a conscious choice about it, though he still wasn't in 100 percent. Sirius, bad as he was at apologies, had somehow convinced Remus to forgive him for his nasty comments, and the status quo was back to normal.

Well, mostly. Peter was following Remus around wherever he went - it fell to him because James was in detention every day that week, and Sirius was laying low until Narcissa calmed down.

While he'd been feeling separated from his pureblood friends as of late, Peter had to admire James' talent for talking his way out of things - McGonagall had apparently been so furious she was prepared to kick him off the Quidditch team, until James presented her with his version of events, which included a self-conscious Lupin deeply hurt by Narcissa's comments, and an angry Sirius feeling powerless to do anything about the pressures his family put on him. By the end of his tale, James had talked McGonagall down to two weeks detention helping Hagrid fertilize the grounds with that unicorn dung, and a long apology letter to Narcissa. Personally, Peter thought the addition of flowers with the apology letter had been over the top, but McGonagall thought it a nice touch.

Narcissa, of course, had not been so easily swayed, but with no evidence of Sirius' direct involvement, she must have opted not to write home, because no Howler had come from the House of Black.

Lucius Malfoy was also a concern. The day after the incident he'd stopped Peter and Remus in the corridor and told them to tell James Potter he was going to see to him personally. The encounter had left Peter thoroughly frightened, but it seemed Malfoy was focused only on direct revenge because after he presented the threat, he let them go unharmed.

Remus was still wearing the strange scarf-like tie around his neck, and Peter and the others were increasingly suspicious that he was hiding something. Sirius had tried to sneak a peak when Remus was in the washroom, but the clever young wizard had cast some kind of locking spell that Sirius and James were unable to work out for the duration of his shower.

It had been three days, and Peter knew he had to get up the nerve to try another approach. And he had an idea of how to try it, and in a soft way that wouldn't be hurtful to his bookish friend.

"Remus?" He asked. "Can I tell you an important secret? Something I've been thinking about for a while now."

Remus looked up from his Transfiguration book. "Of course you can, Peter."

Peter swallowed. He was about to reveal something he'd hoped he'd never have to admit to his brave friends, but he hoped it would encourage Remus to open up about whatever personal issues he had.

"I know more about my father's death than I let on," he said. "You see, I found an old newspaper clipping. He was murdered. And while it was never proven, based on the circumstances and what he did for a living, I think he was murdered for his pro-muggle leanings."

Remus breathed in sharply and closed his book completely. "I'm so very sorry, Peter," he said, his amber eyes wide with sympathy. "That must be so painful."

Peter nodded. "It is. And scary, sometimes, when I think about what's happening in the world right now."

"Of course," Remus said, nodding in encouragement.

Peter hadn't planned to completely pour his heart out, as he'd had an underlying motive but Remus was so understanding he was suddenly talking more than he'd meant to.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but I was afraid you'd think me cowardly. But when James and Sirius talk about all those awful things going on I can't help but wonder if the people out there now are the same people that did such a horrible thing to my father." His voice cracked as he spoke, so eager he was to get the words out.

"Peter! You're not cowardly. That's a natural reaction," Remus said, patting his friend on the arm. "But you know it was very brave to tell me all this."

"I hope you don't think less of me," Peter said, his voice small.

"Never," Remus said, and his smile was so genuine Peter believed him. He smiled back.

"Thanks Remus. I feel better getting that off my chest." He paused. "You know, if there's anything you ever want to get off your chest, I'm always here for you."

Remus narrowed his eyes just slightly, a change that would be imperceptible to someone who didn't spend a lot of time with him, but of course Peter saw. It was a look of suspicion. "Thanks, Peter," he said. "I'll keep that in mind." With that, he opened his book back up and continued scribbling notes as though nothing had just happened.

Peter was surprised. Remus' behavior just then had been an obvious closing of the subject. Remus was never one to reject a friend like that - especially after an emotional moment like the one they'd just shared.

But Peter knew better than to be hurt. Obviously, his secret went deep. Was he sick, like his mother? Was the thing around his neck covering up some kind of visible sign of his illness, like pox? And why wouldn't he just tell his friends the truth?

He was now incredibly curious. And then he had a thought. If he could get the truth out of Remus, James and Sirius would be incredibly impressed. It was the perfect opportunity to show them his real worth, and help Remus in the process.

And just like that, he was all in, even if he thought Sirius and James could take things to a crazy level. If he could solve this mystery, he'd finally truly be on their level.


	37. A Fretful Theory

A/N: I'm sorry for the delay in posting this chapter - life has been busy! The good news is, this is a long chapter. I hope you all enjoy.

* * *

Sirius was watching every movement Remus made carefully. He was looking for anything – a limp, a hesitation, a struggle with his bag -anything that might indicate that his friend was in pain. Something odd went on at the Lupin household, and as Remus wasn't willing to talk about it, there was serious detective work to be done.

Remus had come to stay at the Potter home along with Sirius at the end of the holiday, but he came a week later than Sirius had, and he'd looked a bit pale when he first arrived. But Lyall Lupin, who Sirius had met at Remus' home, seemed a perfectly kind individual when he sat down and chatted with the boys about their summer, and Remus' mother had sent along some delicious Muggle sweets for the boys to enjoy together. They seemed like lovely people, exactly as Remus always described them.

So then what was wrong? If their son was sick like his mother, why wasn't he getting proper treatment? Were the Lupins just really good actors, unlike Sirius' own parents, who would never be mistaken for doting parents even if the public didn't know the extent of the matter? Sirius understood a desire for privacy, a desire to hide your own personal shame away from the world. But Remus, unlike himself, was so gentle in nature, so kind and patient with everyone around him. The idea that someone would neglect a boy like that made Sirius's blood boil. It filled him with a feral, animal-like rage. He desperately wanted to protect his friend, and he knew James felt the same.

But first they needed to know exactly what was going on.

That was what possessed him to do it, actually. James was in detention, and Peter was getting remedial Charms lessons from Flitwick, so Sirius and Remus were alone in the dorm.

So when Remus closed the curtains around his bed to change into his pajamas, Sirius seized his chance. Carefully, as to avoid notice, Sirius snuck up to the curtains and peered through the tiny crack.

It was everything he could do not to cry out when he saw what Remus had been hiding, and not just on his neck. All over that slight, little body were jagged scars – some thick and raised, others thin, little more than lines. They were all over the boy's back, twisted across his chest, down his arms and legs. They couldn't possibly all be from a childhood accident - some were obviously fresher than others.

Sirius had long ago noticed a small scar on Remus's neck, though he'd never thought much of it – he'd assumed it was just the product of roughhousing as a child. When he'd started wearing a hideous cravat, Sirius had of course known it was hiding something. Now there was a much thicker mark across his neck, almost as if it had been slashed, and it looked fresh. Seeing the marks all over, Sirius was kicking himself for never thinking to ask where the smaller one came from when he'd had the chance.

Sirius pulled back quickly and returned to his own bed. He buried his face in his pillow to muffle an angry growl. Who did this? What could possibly do that to a child? Was it some kind of spell? And then how could parents allow such wounds to go unhealed?!

"Sirius?" Remus was back out from the drapes and calling to him. "Everything okay? You're likely to suffocate yourself like that."

"I'm fine," Sirius said, a little too quickly for it to be entirely plausible. He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed to face his friend. "Remus," he said. "You know you can talk to me about anything, right?"

Remus feigned confusion, though Sirius was sure he knew there was something behind the question. "Of course," he responded. "What makes you say that?"

"It's just – if you ever needed to talk about anything, if you ever needed help with anything, like say, your visits to your mom, you could tell me. And James. You could tell us anything."

Remus was quiet a moment. "Ok…." He looked down at the floor then back up at Sirius. "You can talk to me too you know, Sirius. If you want to."

"I know. But if you need help Remus, with anything, anything at all, you can just ask."

At that moment the dormitory door opened and James walked in. "Slughorn let me out early!" He said gleefully. "McGonagall would have never done that."

"James!" Sirius said, his voice much higher than usual. "James I'm glad you're here. Remus and I were just talking about how friends can talk about anything, how help is always there to those who ask."

"Of course!" James said, totally not understanding. "Why? Do you need help in potions Remus? I know your understanding of the theory is spot on but you always seem to struggle so with the actual brewing."

''I am rather rubbish at potions," Remus said sadly. Sirius shook his head at James, irrationally annoyed that his friend hadn't read his mind and understood the gravity of the situation.

James seemed to sense his distress after a moment, even if he didn't know the cause. "Sirius, what –"

The door opened again and Peter entered. Sirius sighed deeply. There would be no chance to talk with Remus or James now.

"I'm going to fail out of Hogwarts," Peter said miserably. "You know it's bad when even Flitwick gets fed up with you."

"Aww Petey, stop fretting. Sirius will help you with Charms," James said.

"I will?" The last thing Sirius wanted to do at the moment was play tutor to his rather dim-witted friend.

"You were just talking about how friends help each other out, weren't you?" James observed.

"True," Sirius said resentfully. "Fine. I'll go over your notes with you tomorrow." He wasn't looking at Peter, but rather staring intently at Remus, who had rolled onto his stomach and was flipping through his Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook. Did the scars hurt him?

"Oh thank you!" Peter said emphatically. Sirius grunted. He knew he had to grab James alone later to discuss what he'd seen.

/

"Covered in scars?!" James howled indignantly. "You're entirely sure?"

Sirius nodded. "James, we have to figure out what's going on. This is much worse than I thought." His hands were balled into fists. "Someone hurts him, really horribly, and it's been going on for some time."

"It has to do with his disappearances," James said. "Let's tally what we know. He goes to see his mum around once a month."

"But he often looks sick before he leaves," Sirius said. "And he disappears at weird times – sometimes on a Friday, sometimes on a Tuesday. He misses class. Do we have dates on the disappearances? Maybe there's a pattern."

"We should mark all the days we can remember," James said. "And also of note – he often comes back with injuries."

"And he's covered in scars."

"Do we know what his mum's sick with?" James asked. "Did Peter ever find out?"

"I don't think he's ever said," Sirius said. "Is it possible his father makes his mother sick so that he can bring Remus home and beat him?" He said, struggling for an explanation.

"McGonagall knows he goes, remember she told us the first time he disappeared? " James remembered. "But if she knows she must realize he comes back with injuries. I can't believe she'd stand for such abuse. So even if she can't stop his parents from pulling him from school, why doesn't she take him to the hospital wing to get treated?" James closed his eyes and thought hard, but no explanation was coming to him.

"We're missing something," Sirius said, gnawing at his lips. "Mr. Lupin doesn't seem the type to beat his kid, anyway. And even if it is abuse, wouldn't it make sense to cover his tracks by healing the scars? Why would he leave evidence behind?"

"It doesn't make a lick of sense," James agreed. "But I'm not sure what other explanations are out there."

So the boys waited, and watched, which proved rather boring, as Remus spent a lot of time in the library. A lot of time. James couldn't believe how long Remus spent on homework and studying every day. The boy worked with freakish focus every day, from shortly after supper until just before curfew. Of course James knew that Remus spent a great deal of time at the library, but he'd always assumed his friend spent some fraction of that goofing off. Apparently this was not the case.

The two boys spent the next two weeks watching their friend, even making use of the invisibility cloak for close follows, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary until toward the end of October.

"He's disappeared again!" Sirius fumed. "Said he was going to the library and never came back. I shouldn't have fallen for it."

"It can't be helped," James said, though he was frustrated himself. He'd skived off from Remus tracking duties a few times for Quidditch practice early when Remus had packed up and headed to the library, so he couldn't be angry with Sirius for thinking it was safe to let the boy head off to his self-described happy place.

"I'd like to search for him, but we have practice right now, don't you?" Sirius asked.

"Yes," James said apologetically. He would do anything to help a friend, but it seemed silly to skip practice without any direction on where Remus might be.

The boys headed down to the pitch. It proved to be a rather eventful practice – while James made several spectacular goals, the team's new beater Justin Flanagan wasn't nearly as skilled, and somehow managed to mistake James' elbow for a Bludger. James could hardly understand how Flanagan had been picked when Sirius only made back-up.

"Is it broken?" Sirius asked anxiously as James landed rather hard on the ground. James nodded.

"I think so…" he said through gritted teeth.

Flavius McLaggen landed next to James and examined his arm. James tried not to flinch – though he was trying to put on a strong face, it was very painful.

"Let's take you to the hospital wing," McLaggen said. "That was a solid hit, but Pomfrey will fix you right up."

"I'll give him a solid hit," Sirius muttered darkly, glaring at Flanagan.

"Don't go cursing my teammates!" James hissed.

"Fine, fine, but if you have any trouble with that arm I can't promise anything."

McLaggen simply looked amused. "I'll deal with Flanagan, Black. It was an honest mistake. A goddamn stupid one, but still."

Sirius just made a non-committal noise.

The older boy left them in the capable hands of the matron, who clucked her tongue and began fussing over James, sticking him in a bed by the window.

"Honestly, being hit by a beater's bat – your own team's beater!" She said. "This sport will be the death of me." After a quick examination she raised her wand. "This will hurt, but I'll have you fixed up in just a minute. Are you ready?"

"I was born ready," James said, grinning at Sirius, who was wringing his hands and looking rather concerned.

The matron muttered a stream of incantations James couldn't follow and tapped his arm. He felt a sharp burst of pain and heard a snap, but after a moment it subsided and he could tell he could move his arm again.

"Now, I want you to sit tight for a bit and drink this potion," she told him, handing him a vial. She turned to Sirius. "You may stay, provided you don't agitate my patients," she told him. "If you need me, I'll be in my office."

He nodded. "How's it feel?" He asked as she walked away.

"Fine, just a bit tingly," James told him, rather relieved. He got great joy out of playing Quidditch and would have been devastated if something stopped him when he'd hardly begun. He downed the potion she'd handed him. "Blech! Tastes awful."

Sirius was looking around. "Why d'you suppose she said patients? You're the only one in here as far as I can tell."

James looked around curiously. "I didn't catch the plural, to be honest with you. She was probably just speaking generally."

"I dunno…" Sirius said. "She changed into a fresh apron when we got here, did you notice? No reason to do that unless she was worried about contamination."

"She was probably just mixing potions or something," James said a bit irritably. His arm, though no longer particularly painful, was throbbing strangely and he wasn't in the mood for one of Sirius's crazy theories to take hold.

"What do you think is there?" Sirius asked, pointing to a wall that jutted out from the exterior of the castle into the room.

"Probably a storage cupboard."

"Then why is there no door?"

James opened his mouth, then paused. The space did look like it should be used for something, but Sirius was right - there was no door.

"Maybe it's just a quirk of castle construction?" James suggested.

But Sirius was impossible to stop when he was curious about something, and he walked over to the space and knocked on it. "Sounds hollow," he said. "There's some kind of space on the other side of this wall, I can tell."

James sighed, resigned to the fact that Sirius wouldn't rest until he figured out what was on the other side of the wall. "Maybe it's only accessible from the other side?"

"The other side is the outside of the castle."

"Maybe there are stairs coming from above or below?"

"Good idea!" Sirius said excitedly. "I'm going to go have a look – you'll be all right alone for a minute." He rushed off, the hospital wing doors swinging behind him.

James signed again and leaned back in the bed, flexing his fingers. His arm still felt a bit strange – he wasn't used to healing spells - he had the good luck to be well-coordinated and his athletic endeavors were generally successful and injury-free. But you couldn't account for someone else's lack of coordination sometimes. He thought back to the time in flying lessons where Peter narrowly avoided crashing into a tree, instead smashing into Sirius, who managed to recover himself enough to end up on his knees as they crashed to the crowd, shaken but unscathed. Peter, however, had snapped a wrist. James had howled with laughter over the whole thing, and even Remus admitted it had looked pretty funny once the flying instructor assured them that the matron would fix up Peter in a jiffy.

Thinking of Remus made him sad. Despite their efforts, they were no closer to discovering whatever plagued their friend.

Sirius came bounding back in. "Couldn't find anything obvious," he said. "But then I thought hey - maybe it's something like Diagon Alley."

"It's possible," James allowed, knowing the castle was full of all kinds of quirky secrets. "But don't let Pomfrey catch you doing anything crazy - she'll kick you out and I'll be bored out of my mind up here alone."

Sirius nodded. He pulled out his wand and headed to the wall, then began tapping each stone one by one, waiting for something to happen. It seemed like a waste of time to James, but he let his friend continue on all the same.

Surprisingly, after a few minutes, when Sirius tapped a stone in the center of the wall, it began to swell.

"No way!" James said as the stone grew in size and changed in color and texture into a heavy wooden door with a small window up top – the same sort that were sprinkled all around the classrooms in the castle.

"What's in there?" James asked eagerly, climbing out of bed and holding his healing arm with the good one. Sirius was peering in.

"It looks like a private room," Sirius told him. "There's someone in the bed, but I can't see their face."

"So it's a secret room?" James whispered, conscious of the fact that the matron might step out of her office at any minute. "Do you suppose it's for contagious cases?"

"Then why the secrecy?" Sirius wondered aloud. "Wouldn't a simple sign that says 'WARNING – SPATTERGROIT' be effective enough to keep people away?" He was on his tiptoes trying to get a better look at the person in the room. "It's a smaller kid – probably in first year or our own." Then he gasped.

"What? WHAT?" James ran over and tried to see what Sirius was seeing, but he was shorter and couldn't see anything but a slit.

"James – I think Remus is in there!"

"WHAT?!" James said again, this time a little too loudly. "Oh crap!" He whispered, mentally kicking himself. "Get away from the door, Sirius. Pomfrey'll ban us for life if she catches us snooping like this."

"But Remus – "

"We'll come back later with the invisibility cloak," James said. This plan would pacify Sirius. "Quick - tap the door with your wand again so it disappears."

Sirius scrambled to fix the door and James bolted back to the bed, trying to look innocent as the door to the matron's office opened.

"I told you no agitating the patient," the witch said, looking very much like Professor McGonagall with her stern stare at Sirius. "Judging from the volume of your voices, you didn't listen to that instruction."

"He's sorry, ma'am," James said quickly. "We were just discussing boggarts – you know we're supposed to tackle them in Defense Against the Dark Arts at the end of this year, and we're rather excited. But when he told me his worst fear was flobberworms I just couldn't believe it - I mean, who's afraid of a worm? They don't even have teeth!" Sirius glared at him.

"That was supposed to be just between us," he hissed convincingly. James was glad his friend knew how to keep up.

She looked at them for a moment then smiled and shook her head. "Let's have a look at that arm." She examined him swiftly and gently. "It looks in order – how's the tingling?"

"Better," James lied, eager to get out of there.

She pursed her lips as if she wasn't entirely convinced. James put on his most charming smile – the one he used on his mother when he'd asked for a new broomstick last summer for Quidditch tryouts. It worked.

"Fine," she said. "Take it easy on the arm. I put it back in one piece, but the bone will be weaker than normal for a bit." She gave him another stern look. "That means stay off the broom for a day or so- understood?"

"Of course!" Jame said, flashing her a toothy grin. "We'll just be going back to the common room to have a nice, relaxing evening. Right Sirius?"

The other boy nodded vigorously.

"Okay, run along then," she told them. They didn't need to be told twice.

"This means we were right about Remus being sick!" Sirius burst out once they were outside the wing.

"But what about the injuries?" James asked. "Is there an illness that does that?"

"My uncle once told me that some Muggles have a problem with low iron in their blood, which makes them bruise easily." How that topic could have possibly come up, James couldn't imagine, but it was a useful piece of information.

He tapped his chin with his good hand thoughtfully. "Do you suppose that because Remus' mum's a muggle, he suffers muggle ailments?"

"I suppose anyone can suffer any ailment, but it doesn't explain why someone hasn't just given him a potion to fix it," Sirius frowned. "He talks like his parents don't have a lot of money – do you think they were too poor to get him proper treatment?"

"That shouldn't matter now that we're here – Hogwarts provides medical care to all students free of charge." James was getting frustrated. Clearly they were still missing something. "Look, we should run up to the dormitory, grab the cloak, make some excuse to Peter so he doesn't think _we've_ gone missing on him too, then get back the hospital wing. Good strategy? "

Sirius nodded. "Good plan. I don't think Petey is stealthy enough to bring along."

It took them nearly 40 minutes to accomplish all this, but they managed to loop back to the hospital wing just before dusk.

"What do you think Remus is sick with?" James asked, slipping out of the cloak to discuss.

"I don't know," Sirius was hopping back and forth on each foot, looking frustrated. "But we were right – Remus is sick, not just his mum."

"But why wouldn't he just tell us?" James said, standing on his tiptoes and trying to peer through the skinny window slit in the door. He couldn't quite get a clear look. "Does he think we won't stand by him because he's ill?"

"I think he might," Sirius said fretfully. "Have you heard the way he talks sometimes? Like he never had friends before us. What if he never had friends because no one wanted to put up with his illness?"

"That's a wretched reason to abandon someone," James grumbled, still trying to peek through the window. "Surely he's realized by now we're not like that."

"I hope so," Sirius said doubtfully. "I mean, my family is pretty wretched. Maybe he thinks I'm like them at the core."

"You're not," James said, dismissing that idea outright. "You're nothing like those people. Remus must know that. Besides, he hasn't told any of us – not just you."

"What kind of illness makes you sick once a month?" Sirius asked. "I mean, Cissy and Dromeda have mentioned their 'time of the month' once or twice, but I thought that only happened to girls. Maybe we should ask Marlene about it…"

"Shit!" James yelped as he spotted the top of the matron's head coming for the door. "Quick, the cloak!"

Sirius whipped it out and managed to toss it over both of them just as the door cracked open.

"Come along dear," Madam Pomfrey said. James looked around and noticed a weird disturbance in the air and surmised that there was a child hidden by a disillusionment charm (James was aware of the charm only in the context of it not being as effective as his father's cloak) on her heels. "Watch the door."

"Thank you," a quiet voice said. James realized with a start that it was Remus at the same moment Sirius elbowed him to point that out. What in the world was going on? Why was the matron smuggling Remus out of the hospital wing?

The matron began walking down the corridor, and the boys followed swiftly behind.

The matron and her invisible charge walked through the castle, out to the main doors. James and Sirius hurried to slip out behind them.

It was just the very beginning of dusk, and there was a slight chill in the air that made everything about the situation seem rather foreboding.

Madam Pomfrey hiked across the castle grounds right up to the Whomping Willow. James tensed and Sirius forgot himself for a moment, muttering curses under his breath. The tree had sent at least four students to the hospital wing last year, despite Dumbledore's warnings not to get too near it. What in the world was Pomfrey doing, taking their ill little friend toward that ferocious tree?

But just as James was about to reveal himself and scold the witch, Pomfrey pulled out her wand The tree, whose branches had been swaying ominously despite the lack of breeze that night, suddenly froze. She knew the secret to the tree! Then, so quickly James almost missed it, the matron and her charge disappeared down a hole.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" Sirius exploded once the witch was out of sight.

James racked his brain desperately, trying to make sense of what he just saw. He was flummoxed. Where could they possibly be going?

"We need to get through that hole and see where it leads," Sirius decided, striding forward and dragging James along with him since they were both still under the cloak. But as they got close the Whomping Willow began to tremble.

"Sirius wait," James grabbed the other boy's arm and pulled back urgently. "Remember the tree has a spot–"

"Our friend is in trouble!" Sirius said. "Some bundle of sticks isn't going to stop me from getting to the bottom of-oooofff."

Sirius was unable to finish his sentence, for he was slammed in the stomach by a willow branch at that moment. He doubled over in pain, and James had to jump on top of him, forcing him completely to the ground to avoid being whipped by another branch. His healing arm twinged in protest.

"We need to get away from this thing!" James cried, his voice higher than usual. He wasn't afraid to take a calculated risk, but this was too dangerous. That tree might take a head off if it wasn't properly frozen.

Sirius grunted in agreement and the two of them crawled forward, dragging themselves along with their elbows, as the branches swung menacingly above.

"Sod it, that smarts," Sirius said, rubbing his stomach once they were safely far enough away to sit up. "Hey, the cloak didn't get ripped did it?"

"It looks okay," James said, examining the gift from his father carefully. Despite the chaos that had just occurred, the cloak was remarkably undamaged. His arm, however, may need a few days to recover.

"We need to figure out where they –"

James shoved a hand over his friend's mouth and threw the cloak back over both of them. The hole by the tree was reappearing, and after a moment a hand armed with a wand popped out. With a quick swish the tree froze again, and Madam Pomfrey climbed out. But there was no disturbance in the air behind her this time. The matron dusted herself off and walked back toward the direction of the castle.

"She left him somewhere," Sirius said. "And here I thought she thinking she was a nice lady after she gave me that balm for the burns I got trying to make those fireworks. But she just left him!"

James closed his eyes again and tried to think. Every month, Remus starts to look ill. He goes to the hospital wing, where the matron is expecting him. She hides him away in a secret room. Then, when dusk hits, she smuggles him away through a secret passage that no one else can find because it's guarded by a homicidal tree. He comes back a day or two later, still looking sickly and sometimes with injuries. He's been lying to his friends about where he's going, and he's covered with scars….

"Sirius!" James exclaimed suddenly, grabbing the other boy's arm roughly and digging his nails in as he tried to process. "Look up!"

Sirius looked at the sky. The bright full moon – a Hunter's moon, as they'd been learning in Astronomy, was starting to peek through the clouds.

"Remus disappears every month," Sirius breathed, speaking James's thoughts out loud. "And he lies about where he goes."

"And he always looks sick," James said mournfully.

"And he's covered in scars," Sirius moaned. He turned to look at James, and the moonlight illuminated the dismay on his face. "And he's never had many friends."

"We need to go the library," James said, words he never thought he'd utter with such urgency. "Right now. Come on!"

The two jumped up and ran, all thoughts of stealth and secrecy forgotten as the cloak billowed out around their feet. They reached the heavy castle doors and slammed them open. James thought he must be running faster than he'd ever moved in his life as he took the stairs three at a time in his rush.

Finally they skirted to a halt outside the library doors, both boys panting. It wouldn't do to burst into the library – Madam Pince would chuck them out and they'd lose the opportunity they needed to see if their theory was correct.

Collecting himself, James stood up and shook out his hair, sweeping the cloak off them and shoving it into his pocket. His arm gave another unpleasant twinge, but he ignored it. He looked at Sirius and they both nodded to each other. James took a deep breath, then grabbed the heavy library doors with both hands and opened them. The boys had a theory, but it was important – quite possibly the most important thing James had ever been involved in – to get it right.

/

James Potter and Sirius Black were in the library without Remus Lupin.

This in itself was suspicious to Lily, but what was even odder was that the boys had their heads buried in books.

"What do you suppose that pair is up to?" She asked Eliza, nodding her head in the boys' direction.

"If I had to guess, I'd say they were researching a new prank," Eliza said. "That or something to do with Quidditch."

It was a logical answer, but something about the boys' demeanor that seemed off. Whatever Black was reading appeared to distress him, and he kept tugging at Potter's robes to show him something in the book.

"I don't think I've ever seen the two of them so serious," Lily commented, still watching the boys instead of working on her essay. James had leaned over to read whatever Sirius had pointed out, and now both boys were whispering and shaking their heads as if debating something.

Eliza looked up from her parchment and frowned. "What about the time Remus passed out on the stairs? They were quite serious then."

"Well yes, that situation called for it," Lily agreed. "Those two are quite protective of Remus, aren't they?"

Eliza nodded, a little smile forming on her face. It was no secret between the girls that Eliza rather fancied Remus, which was one of the many reasons Lily had been trying to win over the boy as a friend. "I don't think Remus really needs it though. Have you seen his work in Defense Against the Dark Arts? Quickest wand work of anyone!"

"You would notice that," Lily said slyly. The other girl blushed as red as Lily's hair.

"Lily!"

Eliza's gasp was loud enough to grab the attention of Potter, who looked up from the book and acknowledged the girls with a quick nod before returning to his reading.

"I'm surprised he isn't coming over here," Eliza commented as she waved back.

"Me too…" Lily agreed. Usually Potter went out of his way to come pester her. Whatever he was working on must really be gripping his attention.

Lily found it impossible to focus while the boys worked, and didn't get very far on her Transfiguration work. Finally, the boys packed up, returned the books to the shelves, and left.

She knew it was a rude thing to snoop, but Lily was so very curious she couldn't help but wander over to the section they were in to see what kinds of books they were reading.

"Magical creatures and beasts…" she murmured to herself. She tried to identify the gold and maroon book that had distressed Black so, but she quickly ran into a roadblock when she realized there was a whole collection of volumes in that color. There were any number of books he could have been reading, and with Care of Magical Creatures being a subject for the older students, many of the books had been recently used so it was impossible to tell from a dust pattern which was most recently disturbed. Sighing in defeat, she returned to Eliza.

"Well, that was curious," she said. "They were in the magical creatures section."

The other girl shrugged. "Give it a day or two - I reckon we'll know what they were reading about when they set one loose in the Great Hall or something."

"I certainly hope not!" Lily said with a little chuckle. "Although knowing those two they'll have somehow managed to wrangle some centaurs from the Forbidden Forest or something."

Eliza also laughed. "We'll just have to wait and see I suppose."

She laughed it off, but in truth, the question of what the boys could have been researching nagged at her. There was something about the expressions on their faces that didn't give off the normal, mischievous energy.

Lily wasn't sure why she cared, but she did, and the mystery would drive her mad. She decided to ask Remus the next time she saw him.

/

Remus shivered in the cool October night. The shack Dumbledore set up for him in anticipation for his arrival to Hogwarts last year had basic comforts – furniture, a bed with thick warm blankets – but Remus could not light himself a fire and on a chilly autumn night the boy found himself cold as he stripped out of his clothing and stood naked in the air. There was no point in wearing his clothing – soon the transformation would come over him and the wolf lacked any interest in modesty. Besides, robes would just be torn and stained as the beast struggled throughout the night.

The boy sighed. He was in a poor mood, and not just because he was about to undergo his painful transformation. James and Sirius had been acting strange as of late, and constantly asking after his mother's health. They'd been asking for specifics, and every time the topic came up Remus was forced to come up with a new excuse, extending his falsified storyline and lying to the two best friends he'd ever had – indeed some of the only friends he'd ever had. He feared that one day soon they would work out the details, and then he would lose those relationships he valued so highly. Not that he could blame them. Who would want to associate with a monster?

He felt the blood pounding in his ears, and he knew the moon must be rising. He was ripped out of his human train of thought as the pain erupted in his limbs and started spreading until his entire body was in agony. As the transformation came over him, the lonely wolf let out a mournful howl.

He came to later in a pool of his own blood, which was a normal state of things. He groaned as he tested each limb carefully, to see what damage had been done. First, he wiggled the toes on his right foot. Everything seemed to be in order. Then his left. Then he gingerly bent his right knee. Then the left. The lower extremities seemed to be in tact.

But Remus could tell even before he tested it that something was wrong with his right shoulder. He was able to wiggle his fingers, but the motion was strained, and when he tried to move the whole arm sharp pain shot up from his shoulder. Well, that wasn't good.

Knowing that Madam Pomfrey would arrive soon to take him back to the hospital wing and treat him, he tried not to let the pain alarm him too much. He'd suffered far worse. He tested the left arm and while there was a stinging sensation from a large gash running the length of it, it moved as normal and the bleeding seemed not to be terribly dramatic.

But then he felt it – a soreness on his face from his eyebrow to his jaw. It wasn't nearly as painful as the other injuries, but it terrified him for its highly visible placement. Madam Pomfrey was an excellent healer, but Remus' bruises were curiously hard to heal. The matron supposed it had something to do with being bruised in wolf form and then transforming back into a human form. She'd tried a few more expensive bruise balms, which Remus was grateful for – knowing the witch generally figured that students could weather bumps and bruises well enough as long as their vomiting and broken bones were healed. But even the balms had little effect on his injuries.

But how would he explain such a bruise to James and Sirius -and even Peter? As it was, he was still wearing the horrendously obvious cravat around his neck. He knew that his two friends were likely to fly into a rage on his behalf, assuming that some Slytherin had caused the injury, whether by spell or straight-up fist. Sirius had already gone after Severus Snape when the Slytherin boy bumped into Remus on the stairwell one afternoon and sent his stack of books flying, despite Remus assuring him it was simply an occupational hazard of wandering through crowded hallways during the class changeover rush. And Sirius had been positively murderous when Mulciber cornered Peter in the dungeons one evening. It would be easy to lie and say someone hit him, but Remus couldn't live with that on his conscience.

Remus could tell them he tripped and fell on the trick stair on the third-floor staircase, but he'd already used that excuse to explain away a bruise on his chin last year. He could try to convince them he walked into a door while reading – that might be believable, if he could carry out the lie without letting his nerves get the best of him. Then he remembered he'd used that excuse just before exams last term.

While he was considering another story he heard the tell-tale creak of the trapdoor. "Remus dear?" Madam Pomfrey called out.

"Here…" he managed to croak out. His throat was always raw after a transformation – he imagined the wolf must howl itself hoarse every full moon.

"There you are," she said, kneeling next to him and taking stock of his injuries with speedy, clinical efficiency. "It looks like you've dislocated your shoulder," she said. "And you've got a nasty gash on your arm, but I can fix that up. It should only leave a thin scar – it looks like you cut yourself on a shard of wood, not with your own teeth."

Remus grunted. Madam Pomfrey always talked about him and the wolf as though they were one and the same. She did it without a hint of revulsion, and indeed she spoke to him with great affection, but Remus still hated that she acted as though the wolf was a natural part of him, instead of an unwelcome invader each month.

She waved her wand, conjuring a stretcher that she levitated him on to effortlessly. With another swish and a tap on his head, she'd cast a disillusionment charm to ensure that no early-rising students spotted him returning from his hiding place.

An hour later Remus was in his little bed in the secret room of the hospital wing, greedily drinking water as though he'd been trapped in a desert in Egypt and not a simple shack in Scotland. The matron had healed his gash neatly and popped his shoulder back into place. It had been a painful endeavor, but the arm was now in a sling and Remus was feeling rather better than he normally did so soon after a transformation.

"Now dear, there are a few things I'd like to get done today. Are you feeling strong enough to be left alone for a bit?" She asked.

Remus nodded, still guzzling down water. He was groggy after a night without sleep and figured he'd nap the morning away and start working on his homework when Madam Pomfrey returned from her errands.

"Excellent," she said, taking the glass from him as he emptied it. She tapped it with her want. "Aguamenti." It refilled and she left it on the table next to him. "I shouldn't be gone for more than an hour or so," she told him. "Try to get some rest."

The boy nodded again, already feeling his eyelids drooping. He was asleep before she reached the door.

He slept fitfully, James, Sirius and Peter punctuating his dreams with suspicious questions about his disappearance and injuries. But when the matron returned she informed him that he was healing nicely and if he felt up to it he could return to class the following morning. This cheered him considerably - he hated missing any more class than he was forced to - but he had no idea how he would explain the sling to his classmates.

"I can take your arm out of the sling, dear, but you'll have to be very careful not to jostle it, especially running through those crowded halls."

"I'll be careful," he assured her. "I'll carry my bag on the other shoulder to be safe." It would be a relief to only have to explain away the bruise on his face, and not an injured arm as well.

Remus did his Transfiguration homework, which Professor McGonagall had thoughtfully dropped off to him around dinnertime. He awoke Tuesday morning eager to return to class and his friends - he was going to tell the others his face had been injured when a shield charm he'd been practicing at home backfired, and that he hadn't gone to the matron because he feared punishment for practicing magic outside of school. He hoped they'd believe it.

He arrived at History of Magic early and took his customary seat near the window. As other students trickled in he looked for his friends, and Peter was the first one there.

"Remus!" Peter said. "How's your mom? And oh my - what happened to your face?"

"Would you believe I screwed up a shield charm I was trying to master at home?" Remus said, trying to sound light-hearted and sheepish.

"No, actually, I wouldn't believe that." Sirius had come up from behind. Something in his tone of voice made Remus uneasy.

"I know, it was rather foolish," Remus said quickly. "I was afraid to go to the matron because…"

"But you're never foolish, are you Remus?" James had entered and cut him off.

"Er-"

"Yes, Remus is far too talented to screw up a shield charm," Sirius said solemnly. Remus felt his stomach sinking. Sirius and James didn't believe his excuse.

"Don't worry Remus - we all make mistakes now and again," Peter said brightly, either ignoring or oblivious to the mood of the others.

Sirius glared at Peter then dropped down into his chair, turning away from Remus. James also sat, pulling his chair close to Sirius and whispering something Remus could not hear.

"They must be scheming something new," Peter said to Remus. "Perhaps they'll let us tag along."

But Remus felt unsettled. There was something about the way the two boys were acting that seemed off - that seemed almost like they were intentionally giving him the cold shoulder.

The strange behavior continued in Defense Against the Dark Arts, but in Potions Remus became distracted by the fact that he was expected to lift his heavy cauldron with an arm he'd been instructed to go easy on. He tried to support the weight with one arm, but wound up dropping the pewter beast on his toe.

"Ssssss," he hissed in pain, hopping around on one foot while the Slytherin half of the class smirked and giggled at him. He was grateful when Sirius picked up the cauldron and deposited it at their work station. He became so focused on not screwing up the potion and embarrassing himself further that he didn't even realize that Sirius didn't speak a whole word all class.

Thoroughly exhausted by the end of lessons, Remus decided to skip supper and head up to Gryffindor Tower to lie down. He closed his eyes when he reached his bed and immediately fell asleep.

The sound of the door opening awoke him some time later. Remus snuggled back into his pillow – his friends wouldn't force him awake.

"I wonder what happened that Remus was tired enough to skip dinner," Peter whispered as the boys walked in.

"I have a theory," James said. Remus' ears perked up. What could this theory be?"

"What kind of theory?" Peter asked.

There was a pause, and though Remus couldn't see through his curtains, he could imagine James shooting Sirius a look - which meant whatever theory James had, he'd likely already discussed it with his best friend.

"I think we should wait and speak with Remus about it," James told Peter.

Peter made an exasperated sound. "Why am I always the odd one out?" Remus felt guilty for being the cause of Peter's exclusion, but he was also desperate for some hint of what James' theory might be. He needed to assess how close it was to the truth, and how much of a threat it was to his secret.

"Petey, you were the one saying Remus' problems were none of our business," Sirius said.

"And you convinced me that I was wrong," Peter grumbled. "I think you two just like to meddle."

"I do like to meddle," James said without missing a beat. "But this isn't that, Petey, honest."

"We should wake him up and talk to him," Sirius broke in.

"Black, how would you like it if we woke you up to question you on why you were so tired you skipped dinner?" James asked.

"Well, depends, in this scenario, did you bring me food?"

"I did bring Remus food!" Peter said. "He can have it when he wakes up."

Remus smiled. He wasn't feeling concerned about whatever James was cooking in his head - if he had truly discovered his secret, he wouldn't be speaking so casually about a werewolf in their midst. The three other boys switched topics and Remus let himself be lulled back to sleep by their voices. Right now, he felt safe.

/

James and Sirius were keeping something from him.

This was not an unusual state of things for Peter, but it was driving him crazy. For the last two days, there were whispered conversations that abruptly stopped when Peter approached. There were long disappearances that left Peter and Remus alone for hours despite a conspicuous lack of scheduled detentions. There was a parchment hastily shoved away when Peter walked through into the dormitory one afternoon.

Remus didn't seem bothered by any of it. "Those two live in a world where they are often each other's only focus," he told Peter. "You can't take it personally - it's just the way their friendship is."

But Peter wanted to be in on a friendship like that, and he resented that he was outside it. At the same time, he felt guilty knowing James and Sirius had developed some kind of theory about Remus that they obviously hadn't shared with the boy in question.

That was unless, of course, they had discussed it with Remus and all three of them were keeping secrets from him.

Most of the time, Peter felt that Remus treated him as a good friend should. But sometimes, like when he disappeared to see his sick mother, Peter felt left out, like there was something he didn't know or didn't understand about Remus.

Of course, Peter knew it was terrible and irrational to be jealous of a friend's handling of a sick parent. But it hurt that no matter how many times he asked, Remus wouldn't elaborate on his mother's illness or his family in general. He hid letters from view when he received them.

It rankled him further that he'd come no closer to uncovering the secret James and Sirius so coveted.

Frustrated as he was with the state of things with his closest friends, James and Sirius' apparent abandonment did have a positive result - he and Remus were making new friends in Mary MacDonald and Lily Evans.

Peter, like many 12-year-old boys, hadn't been sure he had any real interest in spending time with girls until he did it, and realized there were really fewer differences between the two genders than society liked to pretend, especially in the wizarding world. Peter had always imagined that girls would want to talk about something frivolous, like hair and makeup or clothes. Instead, the most common topic of conversation seemed to be schoolwork and Quidditch.

"Our team this year is a thousand times better than last year," Peter told Mary one afternoon as they were walking back to the Common Room from supper. "I think we have a real chance at the House Cup."

"What about the other Houses, though?" She asked. "I heard Hufflepuff is still a force to contend with."

Peter scoffed. "Ted Tonks was the real talent on that team. Their chasers are nothing special and their new beater is a third year who's never played a proper game!"

He was talking animatedly about the practices he'd observed, waving his hands around without paying attention to his surroundings. That was how he unintentionally wound up smacking Evan Rosier in the side of the head as they squeezed through the doorway from the Great Hall.

"Watch it, Pettigrew!" The Slytherin snapped.

"I'm sorry! It was an acc-"

Peter tried to apologize, but Rosier cut him off, an unpleasant smile on his face. "Where are Black and Potter at?" He asked, taking in the surroundings.

"Umm…" The corridor was full of students, but it was true that James and Sirius were again missing in action. Remus, who had been a few steps behind Peter and Mary, saw the trouble and made his way through the crowd to Peter's side.

"It was an accident, Evan," Remus said in a calm voice. "So why don't we all move along?"

But the other boy wasn't listening. "Stephen! Look what we have here. Pettigrew and Lupin all by their lonesome!" Evan reached for his wand pocket.

Peter felt his pulse quickening. They were about to be hexed, even in front of all those people.

"Expelliarmus," Remus said quickly, causing Rosier's wand to fly out of his hand. The pureblood boy glared.

"You're not supposed to use magic in the corridors," Lily said, approaching from behind. But then she stopped short. "Oh, you two again."

Peter was amused by the look on her face - it was clear Lily Evans disliked the Slytherins at least as much as he did, though maybe not as much as Sirius did.

"Ahh, the redhead again," Mulciber said as he turned to his friend. "I don't think we've had the pleasure of hexing you yet."

Peter swallowed and he felt Mary tense next to her. Instinctively he wanted to protect her, but he knew realistically he lacked the talent for that.

"I wouldn't try, if I were you," Remus said, his voice still even and calm.

"We could try that thing Severus taught us," Rosier was saying. "How hilarious would it be to use it on _her_?"

"Pretty hilarious," Mulciber said, twirling his wand in his hand.

Peter didn't want to be the subject of anything that came by way of Severus Snape.

"If Sev taught you, it's probably well beyond your masterly level," Lily said, putting a hand on her hip and tilting her head. "I wouldn't try it - you'll probably just hurt yourself."

The laugh escaped Peter's mouth before he even realized it was happening. He'd heard Lily's sharp tongue before, but usually it was directed at James. This was something new, and he liked it.

"Nobody is going to try anything," Remus said, now sounding exasperated.

"Now what makes you think that's how things are going to work out?" Mulciber said, the corners of his mouth curling up nastily.

"Because if you try anything I'll use a spell far more painful than expelliarmus to disarm you," Remus said, calm once again. "Can you imagine what spell I might choose?"

This time, it was Mulciber who looked unnerved. "You're bluffing, halfblood," he said.

"Perhaps I am, perhaps I'm not," Remus said with a gentle shrug. "Care to test it?"

Despite knowing Remus well, and knowing that the boy would never actually hurt someone unless absolutely necessary, Peter almost felt threatened. Remus was smart - anyone who'd taken a class with him would know that, and a smart boy with a wand could be dangerous. This was a side of his quiet friend Peter wasn't accustomed to, and he wasn't entirely sure what to make of it.

"You have no backup," Mulciber said, though it was clear at this point that he was weighing his options.

"He has me," Peter said softly, knowing that didn't amount to much.

"And me," Lily said. Her pronouncement was much louder, much braver, and much more unexpected. "Care to see what tricks Sev taught me?" She pulled out her wand.

Apparently the combination of Remus Lupin and Lily Evans was enough for the Slytherins to step down, because Mulciber sneered and snapped at Rosier to pick up his wand, then the two walked off without further comment.

"I can't believe they would threaten to use magic that publicly," Mary said, shaking her head. "There's such a crowd here!"

"The fact that there's a crowd means it would be harder to determine who started it," Remus said, returning his wand to its pocket. "Sorry you got pulled into our little scuffle. I'm afraid we're not popular with the Slytherins. Occupational hazard of spending time with Sirius, you see."

"I'm not their favorite either," Lily said, brushing her hair out of her face with one arm and pocketing her wand as well. "What spell were you planning to use, anyway?"

A tight little smile appeared on Remus' face, the kind of smile that made someone look nefarious. "I was bluffing," he said. Then he looked thoughtful. "Though I suppose I could have set his robe sleeve on fire."

Lily and Peter laughed, both fully aware that he wouldn't have actually gone through with it. "That's dark, Remus," Lily said.

"What were you planning to do?" He asked, turning the question around.

She shrugged. "I was also bluffing."

Remus chuckled as if he wasn't surprised, but Peter didn't try to hide his shock. "Really?" Peter said. "But you were so convincing!" The more he got to know Lily Evans, the more impressed he became, especially when she was on their side. She wasn't nearly as prissy as he'd thought when he first met her last year. In fact, the more time she spent with them, the more she seemed weirdly similar to James with her sense of justice and lack of fear.

Of course, Peter knew better than to say that to her. He didn't think she'd appreciate the comparison.

The girl just laughed. "I suppose I was - those boys certainly turned tail quickly enough. I can't wait to tell Sev about it."

That statement gave Peter pause. "Isn't Snape friends with those two?" He asked her.

She shook her head emphatically. "They're housemates, not friends," she told him. "They wouldn't spend time together if they weren't forced into the situation."

"Did Severus tell you that?" Remus asked her.

"Not in those words. But when you've been friends with someone for years, you can tell what's going on in their head.

Remus gave her an odd look. "I'll take your word on that, then," he said. "Shall we head back up to the Common Room?"

"Of course. I've been meaning to ask you - do you two have any idea why Potter and Black were in the library the other day?"

"James and Sirius, in the library without me?" Remus said, furrowing his brows. "Sounds unlikely, doesn't it Peter?"

"They were in the Magical Creatures and Beasts section," Lily told them. "I was wondering if perhaps they had a grand plan to set loose a niffler or something."

Remus immediately got tense, but Peter assumed it was because he was imaging the havoc a niffler could wreak in the castle. "They haven't said a thing to me about that," he said. "You know, I just remembered I have to talk to Professor McGonagall about something I missed in class. I'll see you lot back at the Common Room." He dashed off before anyone could respond.

The excuse seemed entirely plausible to Peter, but he thought his friend's demeanor was slightly off. He glanced at Lily, who also looked a bit confused. He shrugged and went back to his conversation about Quidditch with Mary until they parted ways to head to their respective dormitories.

Peter was so relieved to have avoided a real confrontation that he didn't even get upset when he ran up to the dormitory to drop his bag and found Sirius and James hastily hiding something away.

"Working on something top secret, then?" He asked cheerfully as he dropped his school things and kicked off his shoes. "Something to do with magical beasts, perhaps?"

"Where's Lupin?" Sirius asked, avoiding the question.

"He said something about chatting with McGonagall about homework he missed," Peter told them. "It must be difficult missing classes all the time. You'd think his mother would be able to wait until the weekends."

"You know what's weird?" Sirius said to James, ignoring Peter. "There are two Gryffindor first year boys' dorms."

"Well, there are eight of us," Peter said, now growing irritated at Sirius' treatment of him. "They couldn't fit eight beds."

"Yes, but how is it then that the four of us wound up together in this one?" Sirius went on to ask. "I mean, think about it, my name begins with a B. If they roomed us in alphabetical order, I'd have wound up with Henry Connors. And our birthdays aren't close together. We don't live in the same areas. How did they choose who would room with who?"

"Maybe they didn't," James said. "We kind of just came up the stairs and entered the first room labeled first years. I don't remember even being told there was a second."

"Why does it matter?" Peter asked.

Sirius sighed impatiently. "It matters because who you sleep next to matters. The kind of people you live with can define your entire Hogwarts career."

The boy had a point, but Peter had no idea where he was going with it.

"The fact that the four of us wound up together matters," Sirius said. Peter noted that his friend seemed rather upset as he said this, and for the first time he wondered if his recent retreat from everyone but James had a deeper cause than some kind of secret prank.

"Of course it matters," James said soothingly. "But I'm sure we would have become friends regardless."

"Would we?" Sirius snapped back. "Is our friendship really friendship, or merely situational? Don't lie - friends tell friends the truth - unless my theory is correct!"

Peter thought of what Lily Evans had said about Severus Snape and the other Slytherin first years.

"Calm down, Black," James said, pursing his lips in disapproval. "I, for one, firmly believe the four of us were meant to be friends. Right, Petey?"

Peter wasn't so sure. James and Sirius were certainly a pair that was meant to be - that much was obvious. But Peter was always so unsure of his place in the group.

"Petey doesn't even like me," Sirius moaned, now moving into a self-pitying mode. "He thinks I'm crass and mean."

"You are crass and mean sometimes," Peter said matter-of-factly. "But that doesn't mean I don't like you." Indeed, despite Sirius' flaws, he was a rather likeable boy, and his loyalty never faltered, unlike Peter's own. "Why are we talking about this?"

"Because, Petey, because I don't think Lupin considers us real friends!" When Sirius was deeply upset about something, he spoke in a hoarse voice that always ended in a howl. The pronouncement was not what Peter had expected, and, confused, he turned to James for an explanation, hoping he could translate Sirius' outburst.

James sighed. "We think we may have figured out what's going on with Lupin's, Petey. But we don't know how to talk to him about it, nor do we know why he won't talk to us about it. And before you get upset - I want to tell you but as you're always saying, we should respect his privacy, and if our theory is correct and we tell you without talking to Lupin first, we aren't respecting much of anything." James was gesturing dramatically with his hands as he spoke.

Petey wanted to argue, but the logic was sound, and Sirius looked so upset he was a little concerned the theory wasn't one he even wanted to hear.

"Is that why you two have been behaving so strangely?" He asked. "All the whispered conferences and all that?"

James nodded. "I wanted to tell you, but if it's true...I don't even know…" He let his sentence fade out and scratched his head in frustration. "I wish I could ask my mum what to do…" He admitted.

Seeing Sirius and James so tormented melted away most of Peter's resentment over being excluded. It was clear James was trying very hard to do the right thing, whatever that was, in whatever situation he and Sirius thought they were in. Whether or not the theory was accurate didn't matter in that moment, what mattered was that James was trying his best to be a good friend to everyone involved, no small feat for a 12-year-old boy.

"You don't have to tell me," Peter said, sitting down on his bed. "But for what it's worth, I do think Remus is our real friend. I don't think we're just friends because we're roommates. I mean, Mary and Lily live in the same dorm as the Frasers and the twins spend much more time with Henry than them."

"Petey!" The comment shook Sirius out of his stupor, for he grabbed the smaller boy by the shoulders and shook him excitedly. "You're right! Why didn't I think of that?!"

"Because you're melodramatic," James said. "Let Petey go before you give him whiplash."

"Right." Sirius released him and ruffled his hair. "You know Petey, you're a good listener. I feel better after talking to you."

Peter wasn't sure what he had done, given that he still wasn't sure exactly what they were talking out in the first place, but the praise made him feel good. "Perhaps the best way to address this is to talk to Remus about it?" He suggested. "When he comes up later, I can leave if you'd like."

James and Sirius glanced at each other. "We can't ask you to do that, Petey…" James said.

"I offered," Peter responded. "If you let me borrow the cloak, I'll take a trip down to the kitchens."

"Any excuse for a trip to the kitchens," James said with a little chuckle. "All right, Black, Petey is right. We stop tiptoeing around this and address it tonight. Let the chips fall where they may."

"Fall they may, Potter," Sirius said. "Fall they may.

Peter felt an odd sense of foreboding and anticipation, and he wasn't sure which of them was misplaced. Something was going to happen tonight, and it may bring the boys closer, or tear them apart.


	38. The Truth Ain't Pretty

"Black, wake up!" James was shaking Sirius violently, and the bigger boy, still half-asleep, swung a fist half-heartedly. "Whassss wrong?"

"You and Petey fell asleep, but I've been patiently waiting out the night, and Lupin never came back to the dorm," James said.

"He what?" Sirius said, sitting up and rubbing his eyes. "Are you sure you didn't just miss him?"

"I'm positive," James said. I didn't take my eyes off the door all night. No easy feat, mind you. I've had a lot of tea and I really need to use the loo! Watch the door!" He rushed into the bathroom before Sirius could respond.

Sirius groaned and rolled over to check the clock. It was 5 a.m. And Lupin had never returned to the dorm. But it was too soon for another disappearance- far too soon. The moon was waning gibbous, if astronomy was teaching him anything.

Why wouldn't Remus come back to the dorm? Peter had said that he'd run off to check on something with McGonagall. Peter had said it seemed a little odd, but what could have possibly kept Remus from bed all night?

He shot out of bed. "He knows we know," he said loudly. Peter grumbled and stirred in his bed but didn't awaken. Sirius began searching for socks. If Remus knew they'd guessed the truth, he may have panicked - Sirius certainly would if his friends guessed the truths of his struggles, and they paled in comparison to the idea of being a werewolf. The way werewolves were treated in society - Sirius had heard his relatives talk about them time and time again, but whereas many of their anti-muggle leanings had opponents in the newspapers and on the wireless, there never seemed to be anyone advocating for werewolves in the world.

 _Remus has no advocate!_ His brain suddenly yelled at him. Werewolves were always portrayed as vicious and stupid and unclean - barely human, really. But Remus was none of those things - Remus was soft-hearted and clever and certainly showered more often than Sirius did. This was just another topic on which the adults had everything wrong. The thought made Sirius want to burn the whole Ministry of Magic down.

James came out of the bathroom a moment later and Sirius threw him his shoes. "Get dressed. We have to find Lupin." Remus needed a friend right now. The way Sirius had so badly needed one himself last year, and had found it in James and the others.

"Clearly," James said, already dressing. "Should we wake Petey?"

"Lupin's running away from us," Sirius decided. "The more of us that come chasing the more spooked he'll be."

James rolled his eyes. "He's not a horse, Black. But I see your point." He grabbed the invisibility cloak. "Let's get going."

It had never occured to Sirius to ask James if the fact that they'd been rooming with a werewolf bothered him in any way. Of course, it was a shocking concept, the idea that his friend turned into a monster once a month, but Sirius just knew in his gut that it didn't change who Remus was as a person. And if Sirius was confident in this, he knew James would be. No, Sirius hadn't bothered to ask, but he knew it had never crossed either of their minds to abandon their friend over this thing. If only adults could be so decisive in their convictions and loyalty.

The boys checked the hospital wing first, using the excuse that James' arm was still bothering him (Sirius suspected this was not a complete lie, but didn't push the issue) to give Sirius a chance to snoop around while Madam Pomfrey fussed over it. Next, they checked the library, the Great Hall, McGonagall's office (she was clearly suspicious to see them so early and decidedly not a morning person), the Owlery (Edyth greeted them, but no Remus), the Astronomy tower, paid a visit to Hagrid (who was much friendlier than McGonagall) but still didn't turn up their friend.

"Where else could he be?" Sirius cried out, shaking a fist in frustration.

James looked grim. "I have a thought," he said.

Sirius looked into his friend's eyes. "You don't think-"

"If he was looking for a safe place to hide-"

"-he would try somewhere he thinks we don't know about."

"The hole under the tree," both boys said at the same time.

Sirius checked his watch. "We still have a half hour before breakfast."

"No time to waste, then," James said.

 _Remus is afraid of us!_ The thought came as Sirius followed James out of the Entrance Hall. Remus was hiding from them, finding a new space to sleep, because he was afraid they might know the truth.

"Do you think the scars are from transformations, or from something else?" Sirius asked James. _Someone hurts Remus._ Even with the realization of what his friend was, this statement may still be true. In fact, it may be true because of what he is.

"What do you mean?" James asked, looking at his friend sideways rather than turning around or stopping.

"I'm just saying, the things they describe doing to werewolves in that book…" Flogging had been a common theme, both as a way to deter a werewolf but also, in earlier times, as a way to try to force the curse out. Sirius knew how it felt to feel his father's belt on his back.

James looked alarmed. "Surely no one would do that to a child!"

Sirius thought of the things that had been done in his home. "The world isn't as bright and full of sunshine as you like to think, Potter," he said bitterly.

James stopped short, and Sirius could tell he was mounting on outrage. "Well..I...then we need to be a ray of sunshine in a dark world!" he sputtered.

Of course, the boys were under the invisibility cloak and so no one could see James but Sirius, but if they could, they'd have seen an incredible strength in that young boy - the kind full of hope that people would naturally follow. It made Sirius feel better just to know people like James Potter existed in the world.

 _Remus has us,_ Sirius thought. _He just doesn't know it yet._

"Well then hurry up, Potter," he said, tugging at his friend's robes. "If we're supposed to be the sunshine, we better not miss the dawn!"

/

Remus was curled up on the musty old bed in his little dilapidated shack. He was cold, but he didn't yet know the spell for a warming charm and he wasn't going to risk setting anything on fire.

At least he was safe here, even if he wasn't comfortable.

He'd spent the whole night crying on and off. He should have known they would figure it out. James and Sirius were both exceptionally bright boys raised in pureblood wizarding families – they were sure to have heard bits and pieces about werewolves over the years. After constant disappearances and weak excuses they must have pieced it together.

They had been behaving so strangely the last couple of days, but he had wanted to pretend he hadn't noticed. He'd even told Peter, trying to convince himself, of course, that it was just another aspect of James and Sirius' unique friendship.

But he had known it was something big. James and Sirius sometimes excluded without realizing it - this was certainly true. But they rarely actively held secrets back when asked directly - and Peter had certainly been asking what was going on, even if Remus hadn't had the guts.

He felt hot tears spring up in his eyes and he shut his eyes tightly, trying to hold them back. He'd been at this all night - so long, in fact, he was sure it had to be morning.

His dreams for a normal school experience had been a fantasy, of course. He'd known that from the start. But after a year with his friends, he'd foolishly started to think that maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to keep the charade going. Disappearing acts were his quirk, like how Sirius falls asleep everywhere, or how James had to organize the things under his bed once a week.

It seemed all so ridiculous now. He'd wasted his only opportunity to get an education by letting himself get distracted by the hollow prospect of friendship. He should have kept his distance. Werewolves weren't meant to have friends. Now, he'd squandered his chances for any kind of real future. His parents would be so disappointed he hadn't been more careful.

What if his parents didn't want him back once he was kicked out of Hogwarts? The thought bubbled up uninvited and unwanted. His mother and father were enjoying a normal, werewolf-free existence for much of the year. What if they weren't willing to go back to the way things had been?

He let out a mournful groan and buried his face in the dirty old blankets on the bed, letting the tears soak through to the mattress.

"Lupin?"

The call in a child's voice was so faint at first he thought he'd imagined in. But a second voice called out louder.

"Remus Lupin?"

The voices were unmistakable. He pulled himself up and grabbed his wand. James and Sirius had come to manage the werewolf problem. Of course they wouldn't be afraid- when had the pair ever shied away from a duel with the Slytherins? But how did they find the shack?

Well, if they were coming for him, he would at least meet them standing up.

He hastily wiped the tears from his eyes and pointed his wand at the door.

"Helllooooo?" James called. Remus could hear the boys' footsteps and knew they were coming closer. Remus held his breath.

"Where the heck are we, anyway?" Sirius was asking.

"I don't know, but getting through that passage took forever so he better be here," James said, pushing open the creaky wooden door at the same time.

"LUPIN!" Sirius cried, and Remus did his best to keep his wand steady as the other boy ran at him. But before he could do or say anything, James grabbed the other boy by the robe.

"Black, wait, stay back a second," James said.

Remus felt a fresh rush of misery ball up in his chest. James didn't want to be near him. Surely he was concerned that if Sirius got to close Remus might lunge out and attack, like any dangerous beast might when cornered.

"Wow, wand out and everything, Remus?" James asked. "Do you really believe you need that?"

That was a preposterous question, of course. Both James and Sirius were well-versed in hexes, and physically Sirius was significantly bigger than both he and James. Though James was more wiry, he was all muscle. Remus would certainly need his wand if he had any hope of defending himself.

The only friends he'd ever had were about to curse him for being a base, loathsome creature and abandon him for it. Remus wondered if they'd already told Peter. Poor, sensitive Peter would be so scared, probably terrified to sleep in his own bed, and it was Remus' fault.

Sirius was staring at the tip of Remus' wand as if thinking very hard. Then he did something the young werewolf didn't expect - in one fluid moment, he pulled his own wand out of his pocket and dropped it on the ground.

"He think we're going to try to hex him, Potter," Sirius said, unusually calm. "Prove to him we're not. He doesn't trust us."

Sirius turned to face James with his back to Remus, standing with his legs spread and his arms crossed defiantly. Remus could imagine that his eyes were full of righteous fire at the indignity of being lied to for so long.

James, at this point, was standing more casually, with his hands in his pockets. "Can you blame him for not trusting us, though?" He said to Sirius. "He probably thinks we'd be afraid."

Of course Remus expected they'd be afraid – and they should be.

James' wand clattered as it hit the floor next to Sirius'.

The young werewolf stared at the two boys, searching their faces desperately for any signs of disgust or enmity. Truthfully, he was far too tired to fight them off if they really wanted to attack full force, but he could at least take the situation head-on. It would be his last act at Hogwarts, to behave like a true Gryffindor.

"How did you find out?" Remus croaked.

There it was. He was about to speak about his horrible secret frankly with his friends- or at least, the people that were once his friends. He didn't know how this was going to go down, but he knew he had to get it over with now, before it became something worse.

James and Sirius exchanged one of their silent communication looks.

"I injured my arm at Quidditch practice," James said finally. "We wound up in the hospital wing and Sirius got bored and started poking around."

"We saw you through the little window in that secret room," Sirius said, staring at his feet. "We just thought you were sick, and we worried that someone was hurting you, but you never wanted to talk about it, so we'd started spying on you because we wanted to protect you. Even Petey was in on it."

Remus resisted a fresh batch of tears burning in his eyes. Not only had he had friends, he'd had the kind that looked out for him, that wanted to help him. But that wonderful notion had led them to discover something that would tear them apart.

"No one can protect me," he whispered, staring at his feet. Nothing, not the love of his parents, or the brains of Albus Dumbledore or any other great wizard could save him from the moon. Or from this. Remus felt his heart begin to race and he feared he might lose himself to his panic and grief.

"Because you're the thing that warrants the need for protection?" Sirius asked in the smooth aristocratic tone that came out when he was trying to be taken seriously.

"Don't say it like that!" James chastised, hitting Sirius again on the arm. Remus was having a hard time understanding their actions – why spare the feelings of a werewolf?

"Sorry, sorry," Sirius was saying. "I just meant – you hurt yourself, don't you?"

Remus looked back up at him and nodded slowly.

"Because you're a werewolf," James mumbled, not making eye contact with Remus.

"Yes." Remus answered honestly, trying not to flinch at the word being spoken out loud.

Silence fell across the room for a full minute, and Remus felt the panic bubbling over. "Please don't tell anyone else," he started to beg, his wand arm shaking far too much to be effective. "I'm sure you're angry – but I need to be here – I need my education. I would never hurt anyone – I would never bite anyone." He was working himself into hysterics, flailing his arms around. "Please – you can ask Dumbledore to move me out of this dormitory – I won't bother you - I'll sleep here every night - but please, please don't tell. If you tell I'll be removed by the ministry and I'll never get to take my OWLs or NEWTs and I'll never have a short at being a real wizard or learning the spells I need to keep the wolf locked up during the full moon or-"

"Lupin, calm down!" James said firmly. He and Sirius had approached him and were now less than a foot away. Remus could barely breathe. He took a step back so he could support his shaky legs on the edge of the bed.

"No one is telling anyone, and why would we ask Dumbledore to move you out of the dorm?" Sirius added.

Remus took a shaky breath to steady himself, then looked at the other boys, not understanding. "Because I'm a monster."

"Bullocks!" Sirius cried, moving even closer to him. Remus drew back instinctively, afraid of being hit. But Sirius just leaned forward. "You're Remus Lupin!"

Remus felt tears welling up in his eyes and in his frantic state he couldn't hold them in, but the display of grief was making him feel even worse, if that was possible. "I just wanted to get an education. That's why I came to Hogwarts – not to join clubs or play Quidditch or make friends…" He sniffed. "But then I met you all, and it was so nice to have friends…"

"Of course it is!" James was on his other side. He reached for Remus's hand, but the other boy pulled away, still suspicious it was all just a ploy to get his wand. The young werewolf still believed this was some kind of trap – that the two pureblood wizard boys were just setting him up, waiting for the best moment to strike without exciting him into a threat. But James looked wounded when Remus pulled away.

A moment of silence ensued. "Remus Lupin," James said finally. "The day you introduced yourself to me on the train, I teased you about your name. If I'd had any idea then…" James had his hand in a tight first, his knuckles white. "You were so quiet at first, and so unwilling to get into trouble, or to answer in class…to draw any attention to yourself, even though you're so clever and funny."

"It's all because of this, right?" Sirius asked.

Remus felt more tears cascading down his face. He was so tired – he just wanted this whole terrible ordeal to be over. "Yes," he choked out.

"It's not fair!" Sirius wailed, startling Remus. "It's not right that someone like you has to suffer like this!" The handsome boy leaned forward and before Remus realized what was happening, Sirius had wrapped his arms around him and had pulled him into a tight hug. Remus froze, unsure of what was happening.

"Remus, we went to the library," James told him. "We read what we could find…to make sure we weren't flying off the handle with some crazy hypothesis."

"We read all about the bites, the transformations," Sirius told him, still holding him. "All about the ridiculous attempts at curing the curse."

"Then we read all the tosh about how werewolves are dangerous, and lazy, and unreliable. Bloody fools who'd clearly never taken the time to get to know the people they were writing about…" James was saying.

"We're not like them," Sirius said, squeezing Remus tighter. It was rather painful for his still healing shoulder, but suddenly the realization crashed through the haze of Remus's horror and panic. James and Sirius were there, and they'd figured out the secret, and they were trying to comfort him. Sirius was touching him - holding him the same way his mother and father would after a bad night.

More tears were coming, and Remus was too exhausted to hold them back now. He was bawling like a baby as he collapsed back onto the bed, and Sirius was hugging him and James was crawling into the bed on the other side. They were both touching him now– even knowing what he was – even after reading about the horrible transformations and the nasty stereotypes – they weren't afraid of him.

"I'm sorry!" he choked out. "I'm sorry…"

"Sorry for what?" Sirius said, confused.

"For being what I am," Remus said miserably.

"What you are is a bloody smart kid with a kind heart," James said sternly. "A guy that always looks out for his mates and the only person who can get Sirius to sit down and study. What you are is our friend. Don't apologize for what you are. Don't talk about my friend Remus that way."

Remus sniffed, trying to calm himself. Sirius still had one arm around him, and James had wiggled up right next to him in the bed. Remus reached up with his good hand and tried to wipe his face.

"We're sorry we came and ambushed you," Sirius said. "But in our defense you ran off and didn't come back to the dorm!"

"You're really not angry? Or afraid of me?" Remus asked in a small voice. His face was so wet from tears he was blotting it with the sheets.

James snorted. "Afraid? You're the gentlest person I know. You won't even hex Snivellus, despite all our urging. What's there to be afraid of?"

"But the wolf….I don't have any control over it. I don't even know what it does."

"So you don't remember anything the next morning?" James asked.

Remus shook his head. "Not really. I'm dangerous," he whispered.

"Rubbish. I'd take werewolf Remus Lupin over my mother any day, even on the full moon" Sirius said.

Sirius sounded so sincere that Remus almost laughed, but he was feeling too drained.

"It really doesn't matter?" he asked them, still unable to quite trust the situation.

"Well of course it matters," James said. "Now we know where you're really going every month."

"And why you look so sickly beforehand," Sirius added. "Hey – your mum isn't really sick, is she?"

"No. No…my mother's fine." Remus felt like a rotten child for using the lie, and for so long.

"Good to hear," James said.

"And we can take off this awful thing," Sirius said, pulling at the cravat on his neck. "We'll find a spell to hide the scar."

"Mmm…" Remus purred. His exhaustion was taking over again, now that his fear and misery had abated somewhat. He was breathing regularly again. It seemed so surreal that his friends should be here, asking him questions about being a werewolf like it was a perfectly normal condition. Offering to help him find ways to protect his awful secret. He leaned back. James was still next to him in the bed and Sirius had shifted his arm so he could lie back comfortably. Both boys were warm and Remus was sleepy. Without really thinking about it, he closed his eyes.

/

"I think he fell asleep," Sirius whispered. "We'll miss breakfast."

"The conversation wasn't one that could wait," James whispered back, trying to remove his arm from under Remus' neck without disturbing his sleeping friend. "We had to be sure, and he had to know we weren't going to leave him. He really did believe that we'd abandon him over it." James felt unspeakably sad, imagining how his friend must have feared the secret getting out. He stared as Remus' face, which was still wet from the tears. He looked so vulnerable like that – younger than his 12 years. James had never put much thought into the suffering of others – not because he didn't care, but because he'd never really been faced with it before. James had everything a person could want – his health, loving parents with plenty of money, a fair dose of brains. In his short life nothing terrible had ever befallen him. He'd of course heard about all manner of awful things through the Daily Prophet and by catching snips of his parents' conversations with other adults, but his life had only ever been indirectly touched by such things, and as a result he'd always been distracted from it after his initial reaction.

But none of this meant he was without empathy – his parents had raised him better than that. So now, with his friend's torment so clearly in front of him, James was perfectly sure he should try to do something about it, but had no idea what or how.

"He must have been bitten when he was young," James continued the conversation in whispers. "The way he talks – he never spent much time with friends. That's no way to grow up." James' own early childhood had been full of parties with other wizarding families – The Bagshots, the McLaggens, the McKinnons, the Longbottoms all came to mind. There were always hordes of adults and children at these events, and while James may have never had best friends like he'd found in Sirius, Remus and Peter, he'd certainly never wanted for company.

"It's not fair," Sirius said, repeating his sentiment from earlier. "It's not right that a bloke like Remus has to deal with something like this. We need to do something."

"There's no cure for lycanthropy," James said sadly. "And I'm sure if there was the Lupins would have tried it already."

"But what if there's some exotic, experimental cure out there that the Lupins can't afford?" Sirius asked. "I would give all the gold in my Gringotts vault to help him."

"You read the same books I did. You know what they said." James looked again at his sleeping friend. Remus' breathing was deep and even. James hoped he was having pleasant dreams. "Besides, Lyall Lupin works for the ministry - he'd know about any experimental cures. Apparently he once made a name for himself as an expert on Non-Human Spiritous Apparitions, you know."

"How do you know that?" Sirius asked.

"Dad," James said. "After he met Remus' father he mentioned it. Said that Remus' dad used to be world-renowned, but for some reason he dropped his research studies and began working some basic extermination job for the Ministry."

"For some reason…" Sirius whispered. "Like having to be home every full moon to magically contain a growing werewolf, because your muggle wife can't do it?"

James gave a short nod.

Sirius looked back at their sleeping friend with a pained look on his face. "How d'you suppose they do that?"

"I don't want to speculate," James said quickly, imagining the dungeons at Hogwarts and the rusty manacles that still hung from the walls in some rooms. Nearly Headless Nick had regaled them with stories of how the castle was used to hold prisoners during war in medieval times and how the prisoners were left chained up with no way to relax, nowhere to relieve themselves, and no one to help. He shuddered. Surely that's not how things were handled in modern society?

But he thought back to the way the authors had written about werewolves – as if they were beasts, not people, disregarding the fact that the curse only took hold one night a month and acting as if a werewolf was likely to strike out and bite you while you're sitting at breakfast on a bright Monday morning. Knowing Remus as he did he knew it was preposterous of course, but was the world really so ignorant that they believed all those things written in books?

"Do you think we can blow up the moon?" Sirius asked.

"What? No! Terrible plan!"

Sirius shrugged. "Just a thought."

"We're going to need a better plan than that," James said. "Even if there's no cure per say, there must be something we can do to help."

"We'll come up with something," Sirius said, nudging his way into the bed so that Remus was cocooned between them. "We have to."

"Certainly," James said, nodding vigorously. "Do you think we should wake him up for class?"

Sirius shook his head. "Let him sleep. And we should stick around - wouldn't want him waking up and thinking it was all a dream, or worse- that we didn't mean what we said."

"We can't just tell Petey, you know," James said, feeling conflicted about it. "It's Lupin's decision whether or not to tell. And to be honest, I'm not sure how Petey might react." James was very fond of his friend, but he knew Peter's fears and doubts sometimes got the better of him, and, much as it frustrated him, most of the world would believe Peter was entirely reasonable in having doubts about having a werewolf as a friend.

"I was thinking the same thing," Sirius said. "If we tell Petey now, it could turn into a botched job."

"He won't like being kept in the dark, though," James said. "And lately he's been trying to discover the secret."

Sirius scoffed. "He'll never put it together without our help," he said. "We just need to come up with a good distraction."

"After we see what Lupin wants," James said firmly.

Sirius shrugged and laid down on the old mattress next to Remus. "Whatever you see. Say, while we're here, might as well take a quick kip, no?"

James realized he was yawning, the adrenaline of their mission finally gone and his long night catching up to him. "I guess it couldn't hurt."

/

Peter woke up and found the dormitory entirely empty. Normally this would have upset him, but remembering the conversation from the night before, he decided to do his best to brush off being left behind and simply head to breakfast.

But his friends weren't at breakfast either. He sat down next to Mary and Lily and began piling eggs on his plate.

"You haven't seen James, Sirius or Remus this morning, have you?" He asked her in between bites. "I woke up this morning and they'd all already left."

Lily sniffed. "Typical thoughtless Potter, huh?" Again, normally this would have irritated Peter and he would have rushed to his friend's defense, but this day was shaping up to be anything but normal.

"Oh no, we have some stuff going on that they warned me they might leave early for," he lied, hoping he sounded casual about it. "I was just wondering if you'd spotted them at all today."

The girls shook their heads. "You're always welcome to eat with us if the boys keep too early a schedule for you," Mary said with a smile.

"Thnksss," he mumbled, his mouth full of toast. He tried his best to brush off the mystery of his missing friends and just enjoy his food.

But when his friends were missing from Charms, he knew he was missing something important. Remus would never miss class unless he had to, after all.

And when they were missing from Transfiguration and he spent the lesson alone under the shrewd eyes of Professor McGonagall, he felt downright slighted.

"What in Merlin's pants is going on?" He muttered to himself, giving up entirely on trying to turn his leaf into a beetle.

He was walking down for lunch with Mary, Eliza and Lily when he went flying across the staircase courtesy of a full-body tackle from none other than Sirius Black.

"Where the bloody hell have you been?!" Peter hissed at his friend as he rubbed the shoulder he'd hit, thoroughly put out at this point.

"Oh, a little here, a little there," Sirius said airily. Peter noted that the raven-haired boy looked considerably more cheerful than he had the night before. "Slept through the first half of classes - McGonagall's going to have a fit!"

Peter shuddered, through Sirius seemed weirdly excited at the prospect. "Where are James and Remus?" He asked, hoping he might get a straight answer, for once. Where had they been sleeping, since they hadn't been in the dorm?

Alas, it was not to be. "They'll be along, I expect," he told him. "But come with me - I missed breakfast and I'm dying for some lunch." He grinned.

Peter was irritated and confused, but he much preferred wildly happy Sirius to a dangerous broody one. "I was going to sit with Mary and Lily if you didn't turn up…"

"Well I'm certainly better company than that!" Sirius exclaimed, earning him a glare from Evans. "Come on now!"

Sirius hadn't been kidding about his hunger - he downed two sandwiches in under three minutes and was reaching for some chips when Peter worked up the courage to slap his hand away from the food to get his attention.

"Where the hell have you been?" He asked again. "Did you talk to Remus?"

"Why would you deny a starving man his meal?" Sirius asked, rubbing his hand and casting Peter a wounded look.

"Don't change the subject! You always do that to me!"

"Do what?" Sirius asked, feigning confusion. Peter felt his frustration bubbling over and was about to yell when Lily Evans appeared and whacked Sirius upside the head with a textbook.

"Stop bullying him, Black," she said, raising the book again as if preparing for a second attack.

"Seriously Evans? Physical violence isn't very ladylike," Sirius grumbled, now rubbing his head. "I always imagined poisoning to be more your style. And I'm not bullying him."

"I don't know what you're talking about, but teasing someone to the point that puts that look on their face constitutes bullying, I think," Lily said, pointing at Peter. "And he's been worried about you three all morning - disappearing off to do God knows what…" Peter was torn between being grateful that she had come to his defense and angry that she was butting in.

"Petey doesn't mind a little chaffing now and again," Sirius said. "Right Petey?"

"I think you should be nicer to Peter. You and James never seem to consider his feelings."

Peter, Sirius and Lily all turned to Mary, surprised. She was not the type to stick her nose in other people's business, and certainly not the type with the backbone to stand up to Sirius Black.

It was a simple sentence, spoken in a soft voice. But the words, coming from her mouth, had the magic touch, because Sirius managed to look ashamed of himself. He turned to Peter. "Let me finish eating, then we'll talk, all right?" He gave a sidelong glance at the girls that Peter took to mean "away from curious ears."

Peter nodded curtly. He was blushing - embarrassed that the girls had to come to his rescue, but also a bit pleased that Mary cared enough to say something.

Sirius downed another sandwich while Peter packed up two for himself - he wasn't feeling much like eating.

"Come with me," Sirius said once he finished, grabbing Peter by the arm and half dragging him until they found an empty classroom. Sirius shut the door then proceeded to look under the teacher's desk and in the cupboard, as if searching for someone hiding out.

"All right. Potter and I talked to Remus," he said. "And our theory was correct."

"Can you tell me the theory, then?" Peter asked eagerly.

Sirius shook his head, his shaggy hair shining as the early afternoon light hit it through the window. "Petey, it's big. One of the biggest things I've ever been involved in, to be honest. And I can't betray Lupin by telling you without his permission."

"But you and James both know," Peter said, not understanding. He'd assumed once things were out in the open with Remus, the other boys would have told him immediately.

"I don't have Lupin's permission to tell you yet," Sirius said.

"Have you asked for it?" Peter asked, dreading the answer.

Sirius looked at the ground and chewed his lip, uncharacteristically quiet.

"Have you asked yet?" He said again, louder this time.

Sirius, his head still facing the floor, glanced up at Peter with his piercing grey eyes. He still didn't answer.

"Sirius!" Peter squeaked. "This is cruel."

"I asked Lupin," Sirius admitted. "He said he needed to think about it."

Peter heard a whooshing in his ears, but he knew the only thing making that sound was the rush of blood and the beating of his own heart. He was used to being excluded by James and Sirius - it was something he could live with, not being at their level. But Remus was supposed to be his friend through and through. Remus was supposed to be the glue that tied him to the group without question. Remus was the kind one, the thoughtful one who balanced out James' nonchalance and Sirius' recklessness.

But Remus didn't want him to know the secret. Remus was taking part in Peter's exclusion. Peter was just the joke - the tagalong of the group - the one that didn't really belong.

Even having revealed his deep secrets to Remus, Remus would not do so with Peter. Because Peter wasn't good enough.

"Petey?" Sirius said his name and touched his arm.

"Why do you call me that?" Peter asked quietly.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked, his confusion real this time.

"You call James and Remus by their last names. Why do you call me Petey?"

"Umm...because Petey rolls off the tongue better than Pettigrew, of course," Sirius said.

"It's just another way of you mocking me, isn't it?" Peter burst out. "Another way to say - oh there's Peter - the stupid one of the group, the butt of all our jokes - the one that's not really our friend but just a guy that wound up in the same room at Hogwarts!"

"You're being bloody ridiculous," Sirius said impatiently. "It's just a nickname. And you're the only one that needs constant convincing that you're part of the group - the rest of us are perfectly comfortable with you being there. This is about Lupin's feelings, not yours. Don't take your insecurities out on me."

Peter recoiled under Sirius' powerful personality. He knew Sirius wasn't known to be the person to say the comforting thing in the moment, but the harshness of his response only hurt his feelings more.

"You know what?" Peter shouted. "Maybe I don't want to be friends with someone like you anyway!"

Of course, this was a lie, Peter thought as he fled from the room. True, Sirius could be crass, and unsympathetic, and harsh. But he was also loyal, at least to James and Remus, and funny, and smart.

And it wasn't Sirius that Peter was really upset with. It was Remus.

How could Remus do this to him? What secret was he keeping so close to the heart?

Why wasn't Peter worthy of knowing?

It was too much for a boy to handle.

/

The four troublesome boys never turned up for Herbology, and Lily was fretting over it.

She didn't regret her decision to tell Sirius Black off, but she was wondering if perhaps she'd been insensitive to something more serious going on between the boys. Remus Lupin didn't seem the type of miss class for the sake of it, though she had noticed he took ill fairly often. Usually when this happened though, Potter, Black and Pettigrew still showed up.

And little Peter Pettigrew had seemed so upset at lunch over whatever Black had been withholding. Lily knew she shouldn't presume to know what was really going on in other people's personal relationships, especially given her own struggles with Severus. But it seemed like Petey was always being left behind by Black and Potter. She wondered if they even did it intentionally or if they were just so oblivious that they didn't realize they were hurting his feelings.

Spurred forward by her relentless (if not obnoxious and meddlesome) desire to help others, she approached Marlene at the end of class.

"Marlene, have you seen Potter or Remus at all today?" She asked, thinking perhaps she could ask Remus what was going on.

But the Hufflepuff just shook her head. "It's always so quiet when James isn't in class," she commented. "I think I do better, but it's certainly not as fun."

Lily shrugged, not entirely willing to agree. With no leads to go on, she resolved to enjoy her supper with Mary and Eliza before seeking out the boys.

But when she arrived in the Great Hall, three of the four boys in question were already there, and they looked rather more restrained than usual.

"Where's Peter?" She asked Sirius. "Have you made up with him yet?"

"Quite the opposite, unfortunately," Potter responded to her, looking annoyed.

"You see, it's rather hard to make up with someone who's being entirely unreasonable," Sirius grumbled.

"Peter isn't unreasonable," Remus said.

"He should respect a person's privacy," Sirius shot back.

"You're the last person who should be saying that," Potter commented.

"You both are," Remus said with a sigh. The other two looked guilty.

Lily was thoroughly confused. "Do you boys ever make sense?" She asked, feeling hopeless.

"Do you know where Peter is?" Mary, who had been following behind Lily, asked.

"Sulking in the dorm, no doubt," Sirius said.

"He's not sulking. He has reason to be upset," Remus said. Lily noted that he looked rather upset himself.

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Mary asked.

Remus sighed and hung his head as Potter and Black exchanged a look. "I'm afraid not," Potter said. "It's a bit of a delicate situation."

"I'm going to go try to talk to Peter," Mary announced. Lily turned to her friend, having not expected her to say that. "He needs a friend, and you three don't seem to be doing a very good job of filling that role."

"Now that's not fair!" Black said, jumping to his feet. "You don't even know the first thing about the intricacies of our situation."

"Let it go, Black," Potter said, pulling his friend back down. "Maybe she'll be able to cheer Peter up."

"This is all my fault," Remus moaned, burying his head in his arms on the table.

Lily felt she was in over her head. "Now now, I'm sure whatever argument you're having can be resolved," she told Remus, patting him on the shoulder awkwardly.

"I like that optimism of yours, Evans," Potter said. She glared at him.

"I need to go blow off some steam," Sirius said, getting up again. "I'll catch up with you later," he told Potter.

Lily watched him go, then turned back to James. "I don't know what's going on between the four of you, but I really think you need to be a little kinder to Peter."

"I like the way you always try to push people to do the right thing, Evans," the boy said. "But you know what your problem is?"

"What's my problem?" She asked, taking the bait.

"You assume you can determine the right and the wrong of a situation with just the information at the surface," he said. "I think you need to learn that with some people, things run a lot deeper."

She didn't know what to say to that. And so she didn't say anything, and just sat at the other end of the table and ignored the boys. She didn't know why she cared so much, anyway.

But she did.


	39. Secret Keeping

**A/N:** Very sorry for the long delays in updating - we're planning a wedding and life has been fairly hectic. Here's a longish chapter to make up for it.

* * *

Remus couldn't look Peter in the eyes when he returned to the common room that night. The other boy had seated in front of the fireplace with Mary, but his eyes snapped to Remus when he entered.

Remus knew he should go to him, to apologize and to tell the truth. But Professor Cadance's warning from their first meeting was echoing in his head.

" _Great suffering, my dead, Great suffering, at the hands of your little friend."_

How accurate was Divination? The professor had admitted to him she couldn't give specifics of her visions, only ideas, abstract thoughts, feelings and the people connected to them. Remus had originally thought she was a bit batty when she'd administered a warning about Peter, of all people. But now, with the very tangible threat of knowledge of his secret spreading to more and more people, Remus had to wonder if this was what she was warning against.

He had hesitated when Sirius asked if he could explain things to Peter, and James had quickly jumped in, insisting that this was a decision that couldn't be rushed. But Remus knew Peter would be suffering, knowing he was in the dark on something that the others knew.

"Lupin? Where'd you go?" James asked, waving a hand in front of his face.

"Sorry," he said, shaking his head.

"Do you want to talk to Petey?" James asked as Sirius rolled his eyes, clearly still frustrated with whatever argument the two of them had gotten into earlier.

"No," Remus said, feeling guilty. "But there is someone I need to talk to about this."

His friends moved as though they planned to follow, but he shook his head.

"I'd rather do it alone, actually," he told them.

They shrugged and sat back down. Remus almost laughed - when did James and Sirius ever listen so meekly? He was impressed by the restraint they were showing, and touched that it was on his behalf.

A short time later, he found himself knocking on the door of the North Tower.

Professor Cadance greeted him with a smile and immediately offered him tea.

"Relationships are tricky things," she told him after he explained the situation. "But let me ask you this - why do you believe Mr. Pettigrew will react any differently to your condition than Mr. Potter and Mr. Black?"

"I'm not sure," he admitted. "But you warned me, when we first met…"

The woman frowned. "I shouldn't have placed a burden of knowledge like that on you," she said. "Dear boy, the future is always uncertain. Particularly when we're forewarned of some possibility. There are hundreds and hundreds of predictions and prophecies made that never come true. And then there are some that come true no matter how hard the subjects try to fight against them."

"Are you saying you were wrong about what you saw?"

The woman looked uncomfortable."I don't know exactly what I saw - only that it was full of suffering. It was one version of reality. Then again, it may never come to be. You see, every Seer sees things differently. In my case, I don't see any of the events that lead up to a moment, only the feel of the moment itself. We could be changing the outcome right now, and never know it."

Remus sighed. "So in keeping my secret from Peter, I may be pushing him away and leading up to the event that you saw, or I may be protecting myself from it?" He was too polite to say it, but he was thinking Divination seemed like a bit of a waste as a school subject.

"Exactly, dear boy," she told him, serving up a cup of tea. "You can't worry over that. I suppose I should have never told you, but I believe in transparency, especially with young people. But in your case I believe you can only ask yourself these questions - 'Is Peter my friend? Do I want my friend to know the truth?'"

"I didn't want any of them to know the truth," he whispered sadly into his tea.

"Is it really all so bad?" She asked him.

He looked up at her. "Of course it is. What if they change their minds about me? Werewolves don't deserve friends."

She looked at him with sad eyes. "It hurts me to see a young person who so deeply believes the worst in himself is representative of his whole self," she said.

Remus didn't understand. Being a werewolf was who he was - not some little part of him. It wasn't like an awkward family member no one likes to visit that you have to go see on the holidays and ignore the rest of the year. It wasn't like James' habit of bossing them around, or Sirius' tendency to make elitist statements without realizing the impact of his words, or Peter's slow wit - it wasn't just less desirable character trait, it was who he was.

"Perhaps your friends will help you see more clearly," she continued, deaf, of course, to his inner thoughts. "They certainly seem to see the good in you."

Remus allowed his expression to soften into a smile. He hadn't yet decided if James and Sirius were truly brave or just truly stupid, but he loved them for it either way. "I'm not sure they really understand the situation," he told her. "It's easy to stand by someone when you haven't been face-to-face with the worst of them. They don't comprehend the truth of the situation."

She pursed her lips at him. "I haven't had the pleasure of teaching your two friends myself, but word among the staff is that those two boys are quite quick on the uptake - perhaps to a fault," she said. "I think perhaps you should give your friends a little more credit."

"I wish I could," Remus said with a sigh. "But it feels too good to believe that they could ever truly accept such an awful thing as myself."

The witch looked thoughtful. "Your friend Sirius is the first Black to be sorted into Gryffindor, ever, if their family records are to be believed," she finally said. "I attended Hogwarts with Pollux and Cassiopeia - and I distinctly remember how they liked to boast about bloodline."

"What does that have to do with anything?" Remus asked.

"Well, knowing those two then, it's hard to imagine any child, or grandchild, of that family would ever break from the traditional values of ambition and cunning that Slytherin House has always been known for, or that a child of that family would even consider associating with a halfblood outside of any forced interaction. And yet, Sirius Black has been a good friend to you, has he not?"

"Of course he has," Remus told her, unable to see where she was going with this.

"And James Potter - well I don't know the family personally but they've always been the type to run in many diverse circles, and indeed over the family's history they've been the type to disregard what is normal in favor for what they believe is right. They've had quite the political voice over the decades, you know."

"I didn't, but knowing James, that does make sense," Remus said. He was beginning to wonder just how involved the Potters and Blacks were in the wizarding world. Clearly, having been cut off from most of it his whole life, he needed to do some catching up.

She smiled at him. "I've said to you before, dear boy, progress happens slowly, but it happens, often with young people brave enough to question the conventions of our past."

Remus fiddled with his teacup, unsure what to say. It felt like too much to hope for - too much to ask - for James and Sirius - and possibly Peter to be the progressive minds of the future. He wasn't even sure if their acceptance of him was actually a good thing - after all, he was a dangerous, cursed being. It was a danger to get too close. It was a risk that could drag down their very lives.

"Have you told the headmaster yet, that your friends know?" The professor asked, obviously sensing his distress and choosing to change the subject.

"I have not," Remus said. "It didn't even occur to me, to be honest."

"Then perhaps a conversation with him is in order," she suggested. "He may have suggestions for how to handle a delicate situation."

"Maybe." Remus knew he would not be burdening the headmaster with his problems, but it seemed rude to tell Professor Cadance that, when he had bothered her. He glanced at the clock. "I should be getting back before curfew," he said, standing. "Thank you for the tea."

"My pleasure," she told him. "And Remus, do try not to be so hard on yourself. It hurts an old woman's heart."

He cracked a small smile. "You're too kind to me," he told her.

"We could all do with more kindness," she responded, waving as he carefully began the climb down the ladder.

He spent the walk back to the dorm weighing the pros and cons of telling Peter the truth. In the end, it came down to one core problem - if he didn't reveal the truth, he risked losing Peter as a friend. If he lied about the truth, he wasn't being a true friend. So, it seemed the only way to keep Peter as a friend was to reveal his dark secret.

Then the next question - was it worth risking his secret, and therefore his place at Hogwarts, to keep Peter as a friend?

He thought of James and Sirius, and their fiery assertions of loyalty, repeated over and over earlier that day to ensure him that everything was going to be all right. He sighed. He wanted to believe in them. He wanted to believe in Peter. So he would tell Peter the truth. Merlin help him.

/

Peter was trying to ignore the piercing stares of James and Sirius, who were clearly trying to get his attention from across the room. But he would not go over. He would not give in. This time, he refused to be made the fool. If they were truly his friends, they would apologize first. He just had to wait them out.

"Are you okay, Peter?" Mary asked him, poking his arm.

"Of course I'm okay. Why wouldn't I be OK?" He asked, the words coming out a little too quickly.

"Well, it's been your turn for six minutes, and you haven't made a move…or looked at the board," she told him, gesturing at the chessboard between them.

"Oh. Blimey. Sorry," he said. "Rook to A5."

She cocked her head at him. "Are you sure you're okay?" She asked.

"Why do you ask?"

"Because you just put yourself in check…"

Peter stared at the board. "Oh bloody hell," he borrowed one of Sirius' favorite phrases.

"If your mind's not in the game, why don't we take a break?" Mary said. "Perhaps you could try talking to your friends? They seem to be staring daggers over here."

"No," he said stubbornly. "No, this time nothing is getting me over there, short of an apology."

Mary frowned at him sympathetically. "I'm not saying you don't deserve an apology, but isn't the first step in any argument trying to talk things out?"

The portrait hole swung open at that moment, and Remus Lupin entered. He walked over to James and Sirius and whispered something Peter could not hear. The other two boys nodded and began to move.

It took Peter too long to realize they were moving for him, and he was unprepared when each of them grabbed him by the armpits, lifting him clear off his feet.

"We need to borrow this, Mary," James said as Peter struggled. "Important personal matters, you see. We'll return him to you in the morning."

"Put me down!" Peter protested. He, of course, was ignored.

"Don't worry," Sirius was telling Mary, who looked startled. "We'll return him to you good as new. Better, really. We just have some things to resolve."

"Put me down, you gorilla," Peter hissed, trying to kick Sirius in the knee. He was being humiliated once again.

"Put him down, you two," another voice spoke. Peter looked into the eyes of Remus Lupin.

Sirius and James dropped him immediately. Peter wondered when the two of them had started taking orders from Remus.

"Peter, will you please come talk to me about something?" He asked. "I'm sorry to pull you away from your game, but it's rather private, you see."

Remus was going to tell him, after all. Peter's heart soared, and he immediately forgot his irritation. And yet, he hesitated. There was something in Remus' eyes that wasn't normally there - a sadness - no - a fear that Peter had never noticed before. He suddenly felt a deep sense of foreboding.

What was he about to learn?

Still, he nodded and followed the other three up the stairs.

Remus locked the door behind them, then turned around and muttered a spell Peter recognized as an extra locking spell. James and Sirius went around closing the drapes on the windows.

"Peter, I'm sorry you've been hurt," Remus began. "But before I explain myself, I need you to promise me something."

"What?" Peter asked, not immediately willing to agree.

"I need you to promise that whatever you think of what I tell you, whatever it makes you want to do or say, that you won't share it with anyone outside this room, except the headmaster, if you feel it comes to that."

"The headmaster? Why would I want to go to the headmaster?" Peter was confused.

"I'm giving you the option of going to an adult. A powerful wizard that can protect you, if you feel you need it. I'm just asking, that out of respect for our friendship, the person you go to is Dumbledore."

The hair on the back of Peter's neck stood on end. "What are you talking about?" While James and Sirius loved a dramatic speech, it was never Remus' style, which meant Remus wasn't being dramatic - the thing he wanted to discuss really carried such a weight.

"Can you promise me?" Remus asked.

"On with it, Petey, just promise him," Sirius said impatiently. "Or, if you prefer, we could ensure your silence…" He pulled his wand out of his pocket just enough for Peter to get the message. He tensed. Would Sirius really use his wand on him?

"Don't be an arse, Black," James said, whacking the other boy upside the head. "No one's casting any spells."

Peter relaxed. Remus was acting strange, Sirius was acting threatening, but James was still James, and if James had his back, he felt everything would work out in the end.

"Can you promise me?" Remus asked again.

Peter flexed his fingered nervously, then looked Remus in the eyes again. The fear was there. Remus was more afraid of the outcome of this than he was, Peter realized. But he was going to do it anything. Remus was brave. Peter had to be brave as well.

"I promise." He said solemnly. "Now, can you three please explain what's going on?"

/

Peter blinked. Then he blinked again. And again. The silence was excruciating, and Remus steeled himself for the ultimate rejection.

"Well," he finally spoke. "That does explain a lot."

"What?" Peter's voice had been so mild Remus thought he was imagining it.

"Well, the disappearances, for one. And the reason you always hide when you change. Oh! And you always look pale right before you take off." Peter tried to smile, but couldn't quite make it. "W-w-werewolf. Of course it's a logical explanation." It was clear that the boy was in a bit of shock.

"Peter - " Remus tried to reach out for him, but the boy pulled back. Remus felt his lower lip quiver, though he had predicted that kind of reaction. That didn't make it hurt any less, however. He felt the tears forming.

"Oh no, no, I'm sorry!" Peter reached out and grabbed the hand Remus had offered with both of his own. "I'm sorry! It's just - it's rather frightening Remus. Please don't cry."

"It's not that frightening," Sirius scoffed, but James shushed him.

"I don't want to frighten you," Remus said miserably. But Peter was right - he was frightening - he frightened himself.

"Peter, you've known Remus for a long time now," James said calmly. "You know the type of person he is - this doesn't change that."

Peter didn't look convinced, but he didn't loosen his grip on Remus' hand either. He was shaking.

"Of c-course it doesn't change him as a p-person," Peter stuttered. "B-but the w-wolf-"

"He takes proper precautions every month. Don't be such a child," Sirius snapped.

"So your mother isn't really sick?" Peter asked. "When you leave it's really because of the f-full moon?"

Remus sighed. "Yes Peter. I'm sorry I lied." He was sorry. Sorry for all of it - for coming to Hogwarts and making such incredible friends that now he feared he could not live without. And here he was, causing those friends such inconvenience, such torment. Peter was not so brave nor reckless as James and Sirius, but he was loyal, and Remus had just put him in an impossible position.

"Where do you go?"

"A safe house at the edge of Hogsmeade," Sirius answered for him.

"Alone?"

"The matron takes me down a passage to get there. But yes, after that I'm alone. That way I can't hurt anybody," Remus told him.

"But it hurts you, doesn't it?" Peter asked, still squeezing his hand.

It wasn't the question Remus had been expecting. "What do you mean?"

"When you transform, it must hurt you. Professor McGonagall once mentioned that forced transfigurations can be painful."

"It's not exactly Transfiguration, Petey," James said. Of course not. Lycanthropy is the product of a curse- a dangerous mixing between human and beast blood. It was not Transfiguration, it was dark magic.

"Yes," Remus answered quietly. "Yes it hurts."

"Oh Remus!" Suddenly he was engulfed in Peter's stubby arms. "You're so brave!"

"Brave?" Remus whispered, glad his face was covered. He returned the hug, relieved.

"I'd be terrified, all alone waiting for something I can't control to happen to my body," Peter gushed. "It's like when you're sick and you keep throwing up, and all you want to do is stop for a rest, but you keep throwing up."

Suddenly the tension in the room was gone as James let out a deep laugh. "It's not like that at all you berk," he told Peter. "What a gross oversimplification."

But Remus didn't care. Peter was hugging him, and had called him brave. He wasn't rejecting him for what he was - he was trying to accept it by imagining it in a way he could understand and relate to.

"Well, now that the secret's out we can give Petey a better explainer," Sirius said brightly, wrapping his arms around them to include himself in the hug. James rushed forward to join, and Remus reveled in the feeling of being totally surrounded by his friends' acceptance. It was more than he ever could have hoped for - indeed more than most werewolves ever got. He had two parents who loved him, and three friends that did too!

He snuggled into Peter's shoulder, blinking away his tears. He was loved. That was more than enough.

/

Sirius Black was oddly upbeat after learning one of his best friends was a cursed being.

It wasn't that Sirius wasn't concerned for Remus - but rather that he believed to his core that now that he and James knew the truth behind the mystery, they would be able to do something to help. There would be no more strange disappearances and concerning injuries - the disappearances would be predictable and the injuries explainable. He, James and Peter would concoct feasible reasons for any noticeable problems, and work to keep the secret safe.

Sirius was so convinced in his ability to solve the problem that he decided the best thing he could do was hole up in the library to learn as much as he possibly could about werewolves.

Despite his reputation for disrupting class, Sirius was actually a very good student when he found a topic that interested him - years of study under the strict tutors brought in by his parents saw to that.

And that was how, barely a week after he learned the truth of his friend's predicament, Sirius had compiled a rather lengthy dossier of what he believed were the key points the boys should know about werewolves, as well as a list of theories to test that be believed may help Remus manage his situation.

"Oatmeal baths?" James said skeptically upon reviewing his friend's notes.

"For itchy skin post-transformation," Sirius said solemnly. "It says some werewolves suffer from irritated skin post-transformation due to the fur appearing and disappearing."

"An anti-jinx amulet?"

"Well he can't use his wand when he's in wolf form, so he needs some kind of protection from nasty spells."

"One of the few benefits of being a werewolf is the fact that it in itself is plenty of protection from that," Remus quipped.

"Did you hear that Potter?" Sirius asked. "Lupin made a funny about his lycanthropy."

"My ears must deceive me!" James teased. The two best friends had spent the majority of the week trying to convince Remus that they really did accept him for what he was, and that it wasn't so terrible a thing that he couldn't learn to laugh about it. Sirius had noticed Remus seemed to drop into a dangerously depressive mood when the topic came up, and that was one of the many things he was determined to change.

Lupin gave them his best grimace. "Can we take a break from this and go down to breakfast?"

Sirius and James glanced at each other and shrugged.

"Why not?" Sirius rose and grabbed the muggle notebook he'd compiled his notes in.

"You can't bring that," Lupin said sharply.

"And why not?" Sirius asked. "I like to review my work. Sometimes I come up with new ideas."

Lupin sighed. "You can't be caught with a notebook full of information on werewolves. What if someone reads over your shoulder, or you drop it? It would look suspicious."

Sirius thought it was unlikely anyone would make the connection between his notebook and Lupin, but he decided to indulge his friend's paranoia. "OK, I'll leave it here until I can come up with a satisfactory spell to hide what's in it. But I hope you realize this will delay my research."

"I'm quite all right with that, personally," Lupin told him, rolling his eyes.

Sirius laughed and slipped the notebook under his mattress. "Let's go get something to eat."

Sirius was just sitting down when the Ravenclaw prefect Dorcas Meadowes approached.

"It wasn't me this time, " Sirius said, which wasn't a lie. He hadn't gotten into any mischief since the night he and James had made a life-altering discovery.

"Quick denial is usually a sign of guilt," she responded. "But I'm not here to dole out punishment - I have a message. The headmaster wants to see you."

"The headmaster?" Sirius looked at James, confused. They occasionally got sent to McGonagall, their head of house, for bigger incidents, but he'd never been sent to Dumbledore.

"Yes, the headmaster. And James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin are supposed to come along as well."

"Lupin?!" Sirius said, incredulous. "Look whatever it is, Remus really didn't do it, I can promise you that."

She shrugged. "He asked for all four of you. Do you know where his office is?"

"I do," Remus said quietly. He looked apprehensive, but he stood up and squared his shoulders. "Come on you lot."

"Whatever could the headmaster want?" Peter asked, looking nervous." And suddenly it clicked to Sirius what the meeting must be about.

"Don't worry Petey, we'll come out of this unscathed," Sirius said lightly, though he wasn't entirely sure that was true. If Albus Dumbledore decided to modify their memories, how was a 12-year-old wizard going to stop him? But Sirius put on a brave face for Remus' sake.

The three other boys followed Remus through the castle. The corridors seemed unnaturally quiet, and Sirius felt that the echo his feet made on the stone floors was much louder than usual. He wasn't going to let Dumbledore modify his memories without a fight, he'd decided. Knowing the truth about Remus meant he could be a better friend to him, a better support system. He couldn't do that if he forgot. He didn't want to forget.

Remus led them to a gargoyle. "Jelly babies," he said. Sirius watched with interest as a spiral stairway appeared. As they took the stairs, Sirius reached into his pocket and clutched his wand.

They reached another handsome door. James reached up to knock, but before he could, it swung open.

"Come in boys," the headmaster's voice called from within.

Remus looked at the two of them with what Sirius perceived as a regretful look on his face. He clutched his wand even tighter.

When they stepped into the room Sirius felt his jaw drop in awe, which was saying something, as the heir to House Black had been in all manner of beautiful homes and expensively decorated places. The headmaster's office was a large circular room with large windows. The walls were lined with portraits and a handsome wooden desk sat in the center. The room was full of all kinds of magical devices, some of which Sirius recognized, others of which he had no knowledge. There were what appeared to be portraits all around, though at present most of them were draped over with dark curtains. But most exciting to the boy was the impressive red bird that sat on a perch near the desk.

"Is that a phoenix?" He asked excitedly, momentarily forgetting his trepidation and the reason he was there.

The headmaster gave him a crinkled smile. "Why yes. This is Fawkes."

"He's beautiful," Sirius said earnestly. He heard James chuckle to his right, but he ignored him. "I've never seen one in person."

"Most boys your age, and indeed witches and wizards far older, have not," Dumbledore said. "I've had the joy of having Fawkes as my companion for a long time."

Sirius was delighted when the bird fluttered from its perch and landed on his shoulder, tweeting quietly. He reached up and petted him.

"Interesting…" the headmaster said in a low voice.

"Professor," Remus broke in, sounding positively miserable. "Why are we here?"

The aging wizard turned to Remus. "I'm sure you've already worked that out, my boy."

"Listen, professor," James began to speak. "Remus is our mate, our musketeer, our knight of the round table. We'd never betray him."

Dumbledore looked slightly amused. "That's not the reaction most people would have, I'm afraid. And I have a duty to Remus and his family to make sure you understand the implications of such a secret, and how any slipup could cost him greatly."

"How did you work out that they knew?" Remus broke in.

Sirius was nervous awaiting the answer. He and James had not breathed a word of what they'd discovered, and had been careful not to let on what they'd been looking for in the library. Had they somehow let something slip? He would never forgive himself if he betrayed Remus' secret so carelessly.

The headmaster sighed, taking off his glasses and rubbing the lenses. "I took the promise I made to you to keep your secret very seriously," he explained. "That included putting an enchantment on any books relating to the subject of lycanthropy, to keep an eye on who was looking at them. So when two second-year boys who shared a dormitory with you, and indeed shared nearly everything else, suddenly appeared on the register as picking up every book available in the unrestricted areas, when your class isn't due to study werewolves until third year, I had my suspicions."

Sirius breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn't let something slip.

"Now, the issue at hand is to decide what to do about this," the man said to the boys. "Remus, I don't enjoy the idea of raising my wand against three of my students, but say the word and I'll do what I must to modify their memories."

"NO!" Remus cried out in a voice that made Sirius' heart hurt. "No - sir - they've promised not to tell, and they stood by me...even though I'm a monster…"

"What did I say about talking smack about my friend Remus?" James said sharply, reacting to the word monster.

"If we forget, how can we be the friends Remus needs?" Sirius argued. "If we forget, we'll continue to pester him every time he disappears, and we won't recognize how tired he is after a full moon, or why he's not eating -"

"And no young boy should go hungry!" Peter chimed in.

Sirius stopped arguing when he realized Dumbledore was smiling. "I'm very pleased to see the way you boys have reacted to the news, and if Remus doesn't wish it, I have no intention of wiping this important development in your friendship away." He paused with a faraway look on his face. "The Wizarding community could learn much from your attitudes."

Sirius reached over to Remus and put a hand on his shoulder. "Remus is a good friend. We're sticking with him." James nodded and put his hand on Remus' other shoulder. Peter crossed his arms and grinned. The sandy-haired boy looked at them all gratefully.

"We still have the problem, however, of the promise I made to Remus' parents. Good as your intentions may be, young people do have a tendency to let things slip…" Dumbledore looked at them sternly over his glasses.

"I have a proposal," Sirius said. He glanced at James and Peter, knowing this would affect them all. "Instead of wiping our memories, why not perform a spell that would literally prevent us from speaking about it to anyone that doesn't already know? That would be a possibly, wouldn't it?"

"An unbreakable vow!" James said, excited.

Remus gasped. "I couldn't ask you to undergo a spell like that just for me!"

"You didn't ask, Sirius suggested it," James said lightly. "And I for one think it's an excellent plan. Professor, your thoughts?"

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled. "Certainly not an unbreakable vow - the consequences of breaking one, even accidentally, are too grave. However, a specific method of the tongue-tying jinx would do the trick nicely," he said. "It will merely twist your tongue if you're about to let something slip, giving you a friendly reminder to watch your words. I enjoy that I have your consent and won't have to do anything by force. I'm sure that's a great comfort to Remus."

Sirius put a hand on his heart and raised the other one. "I solemnly swear to keep Remus Lupin's secret safe."

"I solemnly swear to never betray Remus Lupin," James said after him.

"I solemnly swear to tell no one Remus Lupin's secret," Peter added.

"You're perfect fools, doing this for me," Remus said, his eyes wet.

"On the contrary," Dumbledore said. "Fools often don't know their loyalties lie. Your friends seem to know exactly who they intend to devote themselves to. And Fawkes doesn't suffer fools." he winked at Sirius, then pulled his wand out. "The jinx will not hurt, but it will feel a bit odd for a moment boys.

Sirius smiled. Dumbledore was right. He would be loyal to his friends for the rest of his life.

/

Remus Lupin missed classes once a month.

It was an observation Lily made, but hadn't voiced to anyone. After all, it wasn't really her business that the boy was absent, and she imagined if she asked about it Black or Potter would just jump down her throat before she got a serious answer. But she had noticed, and her mind couldn't help but wander to that fact after seeing the boys fight over something to do with Remus earlier that week.

She recalled being told once his mother was sick, but she wasn't sure that was really the reason he missed class with such regularity

As far as she was concerned, the logical answer, given his sickly appearance before his absences, was that he required some kind of medical treatment, but one would think if that were the case they could schedule around school. Unless it was some kind of terrible treatment that made the subject feel even worse. Lily's grandmother had died of some type of cancer and she remembered visiting with her at the hospital before things got really bad. Lily hoped if that was Lupin's situation that wizard hospitals were cheerier than the muggle ones.

She hadn't planned to ask Remus about it, feeling he deserved some privacy on the matter, nor had she planned to discuss it with anyone, until it came up one afternoon with Severus.

"Have you noticed how often Lupin seems to miss class?" He asked her one night nearly a month after the Gryffindor boys had squabbled and, presumably, made up. Remus had missed potions earlier that day.

"I hadn't noticed," she lied.

"That's a lie," he countered.

She frowned at him. "I don't want you using that weird mind magic on me."

"Sorry," he said. "I've been practicing without my wand, and I guess it's becoming a bit of a habit. But why are you lying?"

She sighed. "Because I know you don't like those four boys and I don't want you using the fact that Remus misses class as an excuse to bully him," she told him. "He's actually quite nice, you know."

The Slytherin sniffed. "Anyone who runs around with the likes of Black and Potter can't possibly be that nice."

"Funny, I might say the same of Rosier and Mulciber, if I didn't know you better," she said, examining her finger nails.

He scowled. "You and I both know that's a relationship of convenience, not true friendship."

"Then why not try to make some real friends?" she asked. "Why not spend more time with me, and get to know Mary and Eliza?"

"I'm not interested in getting to know Mary and Eliza," he said sharply. "And besides, I have you. I don't need more friends."

"It never hurts to have more friends," she told him tiredly. It was the same old argument again.

"I find people exhausting," he told her. "I'm just not like you I guess."

"You could be, if you tried a little harder to be yourself, instead of whatever Lucius Malfoy is trying to make you into," she told him.

He looked genuinely hurt. "Lucius is just trying to help me fit in, make things easier on me."

Lily resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She did not like the Slytherin prefect, nor did she like his girlfriend Narcissa. "If you say so," she said. "I just never pictured you being the type hoping for an invite to fancy society parties."

It was a joke, but his answer was bitter. "I wouldn't have anything to wear, even if I did get an invite."

She frowned at him. "It would be a bore, anyway."

"Easy for you to say - you keep getting invites to those Slug Club parties."

"I told you, we're allowed to bring guests. You're welcome to come with me."

"Thanks, but I want to be invited in my own right," he said. "Certainly my potion making should be worth that."

She sighed. "Your potion making is flawless. I don't know why Professor Slughorn hasn't extended the invitation. Would you like me to ask him?"

He waved a hand. "No, I don't want to be a pity invite. Clearly I'm just not one of his chosen favorites."

It irked her, on some level, the way he talked as if being the favorite of a professor was such a bad thing. Personally, Lily enjoyed the Slug Club and the opportunities it afforded her - so far, she'd met a journalist from the Daily Prophet and several famous researchers from the Ministry, and a member of the Tornadoes Quidditch team was slated to come to the next gathering. She understood why Severus was frustrated, but she thought he was being too stubborn - he could easily tag along with her and get the same valuable experience if he would simply swallow his pride.

Pride, it seemed, was a common trait in both Slytherin and Gryffindor houses, one that had them constantly at odds.

It wasn't just Sev and his friends versus the Potter gang, Lily had noticed. It seemed much of Gryffindor had a poor opinion on Slytherin and its heavily pureblood population. While Lily did not appreciate the attitude that a full wizarding lineage made you a better person, nor did she appreciate the deversive way Gryffindors seemed to view Slytherin house. With the Quidditch season in full swing, it was hard to ignore. There simply wasn't the same animosity toward Hufflepuff or Ravenclaw. It made having a best friend in Slytherin somewhat difficult, at times.

"I sometimes wonder why we're sorted into houses," she mused quietly.

"What do you mean?" He asked, not understanding the jump in topic.

"I just think it would be easier if we weren't divided into factions," she told him. "If we could all just look at each other as Hogwarts students, and not identify each other by a specific house."

He snorted. "But then how would they organize classes? Where would we all sleep? And what about Quidditch?" He asked his questions in rapid-fire. "Besides, sorting us with others like us will help us discover and refine our talents. Though I admit, it may be difficult to find shared talents in Gryffindor."

She rolled her eyes at him. "That jibe you just made only proves my point about division."

He looked at her strangely, cocking his head like a curious animal, an expression that was very un-Sev-like. "But seriously, Lily, if we weren't divided by houses, how would they run the school? It only makes sense to place like with like for the sake of organization. That's how the whole world operates, if you really think about it. That's why there is a wizarding world and a muggle world."

"Says the wizard boy with a witch mother and a muggle father to the witch girl with two muggle parents," she told him.

He scrunched up his face in displeasure. "Surely you realize that some day you will have to choose between the muggle world and the magical one," he told her.

"Surely I will not!" She retorted. How could she leave behind cooking with her mother, or a trip to the movie theatre, or electricity, motorcars and airplanes and all the other wonderful muggle inventions? "Why would you wish me to sacrifice one or the other?"

"Lily," he said, looking concerned. "I don't wish you to sacrifice anything. It's just the way things are, isn't it?"

She frowned at him. "Well, I'm not convinced it is. But if it is in fact so, then I suppose my goal in life will be the change that."

Now Severus looked positively alarmed, his eyebrows disappearing into his unkempt hair. "Lily, you musn't break the International Statute of Secrecy. Haven't you been paying attention in history of magic?"

The girl knew he was right, but she was fired up in a way that would not allow her to admit his points were valid. "That is a rubbish way of thinking, and when I'm grown, I'll make sure there's a world where muggles and wizards can live in peace!"

"Well that's a lofty dream that will simply never come true."

Lily jumped at the unfamiliar voice and turned to see who had found them in their quiet corner on the lake. She frowned when she took in the pale blonde hair. It was Lucius Malfoy.

"I don't recall asking for your take, Malfoy," she said, trying to calm herself from the fit of passionate indignation that had taken her over.

"Poor, pretty muggleborn," he said to her with a nasty smile. "You truly don't understand a thing about this world that was thrust upon you." He leaned in and spoke four words into her ear in little more than a whisper. "You don't belong here."

She stepped back so quickly her hair flickered from the motion.

"Hello, Lucius," Severus said in a quiet voice, his head bowed toward the ground. "What are you doing out here?"

"I like to run the lake. It keeps me in proper flying shape," the teen said, sounding bored. "You should come along. Perhaps some exercise will improve that scrawny frame."

Sev glanced back at Lily, looking torn. Frustrated, she made the decision for him.

"I was just heading back to the Common Room," she said, gathering her cloak around her. "It's chilly out here."

She did have the chills, but it had nothing to do with the admittedly cold November weather. She stood quickly, turning her back on the boys and marching off, determined not to look back, and determined not to let Lucius Malfoy see how deeply his words had cut.

/

James and Sirius were just finishing up Quidditch practice when a flash of red hair caught the former's attention.

"Look, Evans," he said, pointing the figure out to Sirius.

"So?" The other boy asked, his broom slung carelessly over his shoulder.

"I'm going to go talk to her," James decided.

Sirius shrugged. "You really can't help yourself with that one, can you?"

"Nope," James said, flashing a toothy grin. "Meet up with you back at the dormitory, yeah?"

Sirius nodded and continued toward the lockers.

James hopped on his broom and quickly caught up with the girl, who was walking rather briskly.

"Hey Evans!" He said brightly, flipping upside-down on his broom in a vain effort to impress her.

"What do you want, Potter?" She snapped, more venom in her tone than usual.

"Whoa, whoa, surely I haven't irritated you that much already?" He asked, flipping back over and hopping off his broom.

To his delight, she sighed and stopped walking. "You're right, you're not the most irritating thing that's happened to me today. Shocking, I know."

He smiled at her. "Can I lend an ear?"

She looked at him thoughtfully for a moment. "Actually, yes, let me run something by you."

He nodded, excited for another chance to win her back over. She began to lay out a conversation she'd apparently just had with Severus Snape and an apparently uninvited Lucius Malfoy.

"He said what?!" James roared when she got to Malfoy's role in the conversation. "That slimey, scumbag masquerading as a man of means!"

"Of course I know I shouldn't let the likes of Malfoy bother me," she said with a sight. "It's more the things Sev was saying that really got me riled. What do you think, as a pureblood yourself?"

This was his chance to drop some wisdom and get himself back on her good side. He weighed his words.

"I hate to find myself agreeing with anything Snape has to say," James began cautiously, "but he does have a point about the Statute of Secrecy. You had better be careful to abide by it or you could wind up with a hefty fine, a snapped wand, or even worse. And the laws here are lenient compared to the ones our American friends uphold," he told her.

"So you think as a muggleborn my only options are to ignore my magical abilities for the muggle world, or abandon my muggle upbringing for the magical world?" She asked.

"Of course not," James told her. "For starters, there are exceptions to the statute, like for your parents, of course. And as far as I know, you're allowed to tell someone you're about to marry, though you're then required to chase them down and erase their memory if they don't handle it well. I imagine that would be unpleasant ..."

"How do you know all these things?" She asked him.

"What do you mean?" He asked, confused.

"How do you know all about the statute of secrecy, and the rules on memory charms and whatnot? You always seem to have answers."

James laughed. "Well, I know all about that just the same way you know all about taking the muggle trains, and how to use a felyphone -"

"Telephone," she corrected him.

"Exactly what I meant," he said, beaming at her. "I simply know these things because I grew up with them, the same way you grew up with things." He paused, thinking about the nasty comment Lucius Malfoy made to her. He wasn't sure if she'd take kindly to encouragement from him, but he decided to be bold. "That doesn't mean you don't belong here, though. These are simply things that can be learned."

He was rewarded for his efforts when a genuine smile cracked across her face. "You know, Remus is always telling me I don't give you enough credit. Maybe he's right."

 _Thank you, Lupin!_ James shouted silently in his head. "That Lupin is a smart kid," he told her.

She nodded. Then she looked thoughtful. "I don't suppose, if I asked you why he misses class once a month, you'd give me a straight answer."

If James had been a cat, he would have jumped five feet in the air and hissed, so surprised and attacked he felt at the direct question. "Once a month? Is it so often? I hadn't noticed," he said, his voice unnaturally high.

"I didn't think so," she said, but she was still smiling. "I suppose you are a good friend, to him at least. And Black and Pettigrew, since they're willing to put up with you."

James' heart was beating out of his chest, still recovering from the curiosity over Remus' condition. He would have to report that back to his friend. Lily Evans may be smart enough to put the pieces together, if she paid close enough attention. Perhaps he should start learning a good memory charm.

"Well, you know, um…" he stumbled over his words. She always did manage to reduce him to a fool.

She chuckled and shook her head, her red locks shining in the fading light. "It's getting cold out here. I'm going to head in for dinner. See you later, Potter."

He watched her walk until her back disappeared behind the doors of the castle. Then he let out a whistle.

"Caught up with Evans, then?" Sirius asked, appearing as if out of nowhere beside him.

He nodded. "She asked me why Remus misses class once a month."

"What?" Sirius whipped his head around to look at his friend properly.

"I know, I know. We're going to have to figure out a really thorough way to explain away his little problem," James said, his senses fully returning to him. He glanced up at the sky. It was not yet entirely dark, but the moon shone over the trees of the Forbidden Forest.

"What else did you talk about?"

"None of your business, Black," James told him with a laugh. He thought again of what Lily had said about Lucius Malfoy. "Though she did unintentionally give me some interesting intel on one Mr. Lucius Malfoy. I think it may be time to renew our war with the Slytherins."

"I love when you talk like that," Sirius said. "What did you have in mind?"

"Something personal," James said. "Something that will hit right where it hurts."


	40. Underhanded Tactics

A/N: In response to Karo190204 - because you asked.

Hello readers! I have been delayed in posting updates because I was neck-deep in planning my wedding. I am now married (yay!) and trying to get back to my regular writing/posting schedule, though it may take a few more weeks. Here's a little nugget in the meantime.

* * *

James and Sirius were ready to renew the war with the Slytherins, and Peter wanted nothing to do with it.

Which was why, strangely enough, he decided the best course of action was to pour over the Daily Prophet, hoping to find something interesting enough to distract them.

"Why are you reading the paper, Peter?" Remus asked, taking the seat to the left of him at breakfast. Peter had been the first boy down to the Great Hall for a change, hoping a head start would help him find the ammunition he needed.

"I'm looking for something to distract Sirius and James," he admitted, knowing Remus would understand. "I'd rather not risk a hex from Mulciber or Rosier."

"They are a pesky pair, aren't they?" Remus mused, eyeing the Slytherins in question at their table across the hall. He picked up another section of the Prophet. "Have you found anything?"

Peter sighed. "Not really. You'd think any major news would be on the front page." He laid the paper on the table and spread it for his friend to see clearly.

Remus tapped a finger on the paper with his free hand and looked thoughtful. "Maybe instead of looking for something new to investigate, we should follow up on something we've already discovered."

"Like what?" Peter asked. But before Remus could answer, it came to him. "Gideon Prewett! We could write him."

"Better yet, we could suggest James or Sirius write him," Remus said. "I admit, I've been dying to know what he's been doing for Dumbledore."

"How do you mean?" Peter asked.

"Remember last year when his older brother burst in unexpectedly? I'd bet all the sickles in my pocket he was working for Dumbledore last year. And I bet Gideon's now joined him."

"Joined him in what exactly, though?" Peter asked.

"That's the mystery, isn't it?" Remus grinned, and Peter suddenly got the distinct impression that Remus enjoyed a good mystery a fair bit more now that his own behavior wasn't the source of it.

"Why in Merlin's name did you two get up so early?" Sirius and James appeared then, the former taking the seat to Peter's right and the latter the one to Remus' left.

Peter eagerly began explaining the conversation, leaving out the part about actively distracting them from the Slytherins. It wasn't long before James pulled out a quill and a piece of parchment and began scribbling a note to Gideon, as Remus had predicted.

Unfortunately, Peter's distraction only held his friends' attention until around lunchtime, when Narcissa Black and Lucius Malfoy cut in front of Sirius walking into the Great Hall.

"Watch where you're going, Sirius," Narcissa said sharply when her cousin bumped into her, though she was the one who'd cut him off.

Peter sighed, knowing the situation was about to escalate.

"I think your eyesight might be going, Cissy. Perhaps it's time you get fitted for glasses, like mum suggested over the holidays. Eye strain can cause squinting, which causes wrinkles, you know. Wouldn't want you ruining your perfect porcelain princess look. Mr. Malfoy here wouldn't appreciate that."

The girl wrinkled her nose. "You're such an impertinent boy. Besides, my Lucius isn't so shallow. It's undignified." She turned and smiled up at her boyfriend.

Sirius snorted and looked the older boy up and down. "You think this guy is dignified? He didn't look all that dignified yesterday evening when he had his tongue down Miracella Selwyn's throat."

Peter gasped and he felt Remus tense next to him. Lucius Malfoy certainly hadn't had his tongue down anyone's throat yesterday evening - he'd been running around the lake. Peter knew this because James had dragged him along under the invisibility cloak to spy on the Prefect's routine. Intel, he'd said, for the war against Slytherin house.

Of course, Narcissa didn't know that. All she knew for certain was that Lucius Malfoy had not been with her yesterday evening - and that he'd come back to the Common Room sweaty and in need of a shower.

The girl's normally ivory complexion turned bright red. "That's an ugly lie," she hissed at her cousin.

"Is it, though?" James said lightly. "Are you entirely certain of that? It would be rather humiliating for you if it were true."

Narcissa opened her mouth as if to respond, then paused. Peter knew she was trying to retain her composure, but he was pretty sure he could see a flicker of doubt flash in her eyes.

"It's entirely untrue, you foolish children," Lucius snapped, stepping in and putting an arm around her. "Twenty points from Gryffindor for vicious and untrue gossip and rumor-mongering."

Sirius shrugged. "Is it rumor-mongering if a thing is true?" He asked, directing the question at his cousin. Before she could respond, he turned his back and began walking off.

Peter and Remus scrambled to follow. James, however, stuck back for one final taunt.

"I look forward to seeing you on the Quidditch pitch," he told Lucius. "Try to stay on your broom."

Lucky for James, Lucius Malfoy had better control of his temper than Rodolphus Lestrange, though he was turning a strange color of purple.

"That was a petty thing to do," Remus said softly to Sirius when they were safely seated at the Gryffindor table.

The raven-haired boy only shrugged again. "Sowing seeds of discord between enemy alliances is an age-old tactic, Lupin," he said.

"But that's your cousin," Remus responded.

The two of them proceeded to bicker over the situation while Peter looked on in dismay. What Sirius had said was a bold-faced lie, and lying was wrong. Peter, of course, knew this, but he was too afraid of Sirius to voice this. Remus, in contrast, was at least attempting to do what was right.

"Lupin, lighten up," James said as he plopped down on the bench next to Peter. "Narcissa's not likely to take anything Sirius said to heart. She knows he's just trying to get a rise."

"Even so, what if someone overheard and begins spreading it around?" Remus pushed back.

"This is just the way it is with these old pureblood families, Lupin," Sirius told him. "You've got to find the weak spot and exploit it for all its worth. Malfoy's weak spot is Cissy."

"I still don't think-"

"Your problem is that you overthink, Lupin," Sirius said, getting impatient. "Just trust that Potter and I know what we're doing here. This is all for the greater good."

Something about that phrasing struck a chord in Peter's brain, but he couldn't pinpoint why. While he pondered it, Remus accepted defeat.

"You two exhaust me," he said, shaking his head at James and Sirius.

Exhausting was right, Peter thought. Were friends really supposed to make you feel this uneasy? If Sirius could lie so callously to his cousin, who else could he lie to, and what kind of wild things would come out of his mouth next?

/

Remus was reading late into the night when a fretful Sirius Black crawled into his bed.

"I sent a house elf with a note to Narcissa telling her I was lying," he said as his opening line. He had his arms crossed over his chest and an unhappy look on his face.

Remus sighed and put down his book, then gave his friend a smile. "That was the right thing to do."

"I know." Sirius squirmed. "I don't know why I made up the lie in the first place. It's such a cowardly thing to do. She just gets under my skin and I wanted to wipe the smug look off her face."

"Earlier you said you did it to 'sow seeds of discord,'" Remus pointed it out. "And James agreed with you.

"Potter always agrees with me in public," Sirius said fondly. "When we got back to the Common Room he told me I came off as a bit of a tosser, actually."

Remus was surprised, but pleased, to learn that James hadn't truly endorsed the behavior. It made sense that James would back Sirius in front of the Slytherins unconditionally - that was simply the way James was with his best friend. But to know that he also saw the flaw in the behavior showed his good nature.

"Do you feel better having done the right thing?" He asked Sirius.

The other boy flopped over and laid down next to him.

"I suppose it's more that I felt bad for doing the wrong thing, once my mates pointed it out to me," the dark-haired boy mused.

Remus chuckled.

"I'm not sure why it bothered me, of course. Narcissa has pulled all manner of nasty things on me over the years."

"Just because someone else behaves badly doesn't mean you should fall to their level," Remus said, echoing something his father once told him after he received particularly harsh treatment at St. Mungo's. He realized, with some pleasure, that he could actually share the story with Sirius. "Although we all have, from time to time. Once, I bit a healer on the finger at St. Mungo's after she called me a half-breed and pricked me particularly hard with her wand."

Sirius looked at him, a mix of horror and amusement on his face. "I wouldn't expect that from you."

Remus shrugged. "My father was rather upset with my behavior. He told me I should strive to treat all people and things with kindness, even if they chose not to do so. He said the way we treat others says more about our character than how they treat us."

"That seems wise advice," Sirius said, nodding absentmindedly in agreement. "I don't know how you do it, sometimes. With what you must go through."

The sandy-haired boy shrugged again. "We all have to live our lot in life."

"Or we can change our lot," Sirius said. "I think that-"

He was interrupted by the arrival of a nervous looking house elf.

"A response from Miss Black, Master Black," the elf said nervously, handing over a piece of parchment. Before either boy could respond, he was gone.

Sirius opened it skimmed through, and let out a string of curse words. "She wrote my mother."

Remus sighed. "I suppose we can expect a Howler at breakfast."

"I suppose you think I deserve it," Sirius grumbled, throwing the letter aside and burying his head in a pillow, groaning.

Remus patted his friend's back. He thought of the vitriol he'd heard in Mrs. Black's previous Howlers. Sirius may be a bit of trouble, but no child deserved that. In fact, that treatment was probably exactly why Sirius was a bit of trouble.

"Of course you don't," he said, continuing to pat his friend, unsure what else to do to offer comfort. He wondered if there was a spell that could silence the Howlers. He decided to check in the morning.

Eventually, the two boys fell asleep.

/

James was restless as he waited to take off for his first ever Hogwarts Quidditch match.

They'd gotten nowhere in their war with the Slytherins, though Sirius had further antagonized Lucius Malfoy over a spat with Narcissa at lunch the day before. James, of course, had played along, but privately told Sirius it had been a juvenile move.

What was worse was the Howler that came after - Mrs. Black's wretched voice shrieking at Sirius in the Great Hall at breakfast. Thankfully, it being Saturday, many students had slept in. But James knew it had taken a toll on his friend nonetheless.

James hated the way Slytherin house continued to afflict Sirius, even if he knew, deep down, some of it was Sirius going out of his way to push back. But as the wayward Black's best friend, James knew he had to stand by him at all costs.

He would have to show Slytherin exactly what they were made of - from the air.

McLaggan signaled his team. James took a deep breath, soaking in the fresh air before he swung a leg over his broom and kicked off.

He always felt at home in the air, and the roar of the crowd out for the match against Slytherin only increased his pleasure. It was late October and the air was crisp and slightly chilly, but between his uniform and excitement, James was perfectly comfortable.

This was his first match at Hogwarts. Sirius, being a backup team member, was watching from the sidelines, also decked out in a red and gold uniform, but unlikely to see any action.

James scanned the crowd and spotted Remus and Peter sitting with a group of Gryffindor girls and Marlene, who was sporting a muffler in her Hufflepuff colors but holding a Gryffindor pennant.

He grinned. He couldn't wait to show off for everyone.

The start of the game went smoothly enough. He moved seamlessly with the other two chasers - Eustace Figg in fourth year and Nadine Cummings in sixth, playing his part and not worrying for the glory - that would come in time.

The Slytherin team, he realized grudgingly, was skilled, and while Gryffindor scored three goals early on, the other team responded with five of their own.

So focused he was on the game that he made a costly mistake - forgetting to keep an eye on Lucius Malfoy.

In his defense, James Potter, for all the joy he got out of hexing Slytherins, would never think to attack during something as sacred as a Quidditch match.

Malfoy, however, delighted in the unexpected, the underhanded. And so just after Gryffindor made its third goal, and James took both his hands off his broom for a celebratory cheer, he struck.

James' elation changed to alarm when his broom bucked under him. A less experienced flyer would have been tossed and fallen to the ground. Maybe that's what Malfoy had been hoping for. Or maybe he was banking on the fact that James was a good flyer, and merely sought to embarrass him. Either way, the outcome of the little stunt was that James found himself hanging by his knees upside down off his broom.

He heard the collective gasp from below, and he swore he could hear Sirius' voice above the din, letting out one of his long strings of curse words. Of course, no one knew his broom had just jerked like a wild animal, they thought he'd simply lost control. James, of course, recognized it was for it was - another strike during war.

Feeling his cheeks redden both from embarrassment and the blood rushing to his head, he quickly righted himself, trying to smooth his robes. The crowd sighed in relief. All this happened before the referee even blew the whistle.

At this point he didn't yet know who had jinxed him, but he shot Malfoy a glare and shot off, determined to make up for the humiliation.

Now, James Potter wasn't easily rattled, nor easily embarrassed, and finding himself in a silly position after a potentially deadly experience in other circumstances would have left him only slightly flustered, may have even made him laugh.

But to trifle with Quidditch - his very first school match - to James, this was an unforgivable offense. Slytherin would pay.

Fire in his belly, James pulled off five spectacular goals in a row. Every time the crowd roared for him, the knot of anger in his stomach loosened slightly, and by the time Kingsley Shacklebolt caught the snitch, winning the game for Gryffindor, James was feeling quite a bit better.

"Good work there, Potter," Frank Longbottom told him, slapping him on the back as they landed next to each other. "Next time no need for the stunt flying though."

James faked a laugh. "I got a little carried away, I suppose," he said.

"Brilliant, Potter," he shouted, grinning. Then his expression changed and he dropped his volume. "But what happened there?"

"Slytherin happened," James hissed back, quickly explaining in more hand gestures than words. Sirius immediately understood.

"But who?"

"Malfoy," Peter said. He and Remus, with difficulty, scaled down the stands, and Peter was out of breath. After he took a few deep breaths, he explained.

"I was watching the seekers when I saw him pull his wand. It happened right before you..slipped…" Peter said judiciously. "It had to have been him."

"That scoundrel!" James said angrily, his knuckles white where he held his broom. Sirius was reaching for his wand.

"Don't let it ruin your moment," Remus urged, grabbing Sirius' arm. "You just won your first Hogwarts Quidditch match!"

James sighed, trying to let go of his anger. Lupin was right, of course. This was an important moment.

"We'll strike back tonight," Sirius promised.

James was about to respond, but was distracted when something wonderful happened.

"Great job, Potter," Lily Evans said, approaching the group. The rest of the teams had dispersed and the spectators were coming down. "I wasn't planning to watch, but Eliza and Mary insisted and I'm so glad I did. It was so exciting."

Her green eyes sparkled when she was excited, James noted, and the effect was quite pleasant, as was the rosy glow of her cheeks from sitting out in the cold.

"Glad you think so, Evans," he said, a goofy grin spreading across his face. She waved as she walked on.

"Superb flying, James," Marlene appeared, ruffling his hair and taking his attention from Lily. "I'm sure once your father hears about it he'll start angling to buy a Quidditch team for his star athlete."

"You should suggest that," James said with a laugh, knowing that his father's spoiling of him could tend to go a bit too far.

"Great job James!" The Fraser twins called as he walked by.

"POTTER!" Kyle Dawson in sixth year cheered.

All the attention had washed away James' poor mood, and by the time he showered and headed to supper with Sirius, he'd completely forgotten about Malfoy and the insult he'd been dealt. At his core, James wasn't the kind of person much bothered by his own troubles.

It was the troubles of others that troubled James Potter. That was just the kind of person he was.

/

Sirius was determined to exact revenge on Lucius Malfoy for what he'd done to his best friend.

James had quickly gotten over the incident, and after a jolly night full of too many pilfered sweets and butterbeer, the boy had fallen asleep early. But Sirius had stayed awake, replaying the scenario over and over again in his head.

In truth, James was fine, and it could all have been easily brushed aside. But what if James hadn't been fine? Had Malfoy realized his opponent was such a good flyer that he wouldn't fall? Or had his aim been to knock James clear off his broom? And if James had fallen off, would someone have been there to catch him, or stop the fall?

Sirius was tormented by the fact that he was the reason his friend was a target. It really was entirely his fault - Malfoy considered the simple torment of younger students below him. He had exacted revenge on James because Sirius had antagonized him with the stupid lie to Cissy.

Sirius hated that he so often spoke without thinking. He hated that he let his family get so deep under his skin. He hated that his family stood connected to such unsavory people as the Malfoys and Lestranges. He hated the Howlers his mother sent and he hated that he let them bother him at all.

It was all quite too much for a 12- almost 13-year old boy to handle. He needed to let his demons out that night.

When he thought everyone else had fallen asleep, Sirius crept over to James' chest and snuck out the invisibility cloak. He made it to the door when he heard Remus.

"Must you go after Malfoy?" Remus asked quietly. He was standing, still fully dressed, next to his bed and looking at Sirius like a disappointed parent.

"Of course I do," Sirius told him. "Don't worry about me."

Remus sighed dramatically. "Let me get my shoes."

"What?"

Ten minutes later the boys were sneaking down the corridors toward the dungeons.

"You didn't have to come with me Lupin," Sirius told Remus. "I told you not to worry."

"When are you going to learn that I always worry?" Remus asked, rolling his eyes. "I worry about class. I worry about eating healthy. I worry about being a werewolf, of course. And I worry about my foolish friends and the foolish things they do."

"Then why come with me?" Sirius persisted.

Remus looked straight at him, which was rather tricky to pull off while they were both walking. "If James had fallen from that height, and no one caught him in time, he would have been killed. Lucius Malfoy is more dangerous than he makes himself out to be."

And Remus Lupin had a stronger resolve and drive to exact justice than his skinny frame and quiet voice suggested, Sirius thought to himself, smiling.

"What is your plan, anyway?" Remus asked.

"Well I can't very well knock him off a broom, or set him on fire, as I'd like," Sirius said. "So I've come up with something less elegant, but hopefully still enjoyable."

"That explains nothing," Remus said impatiently.

Sirius grinned. "I got the password to the Slytherin Common Room by waiting for someone to give it while under the invisibility cloak last week. Assuming it hasn't changed yet, we're going into the Slytherin Common Room. I happen to know that Malfoy tends to leave his school things out - no one in Slytherin house would dare touch them. If we're lucky, his Defense Against Dark essay is there. It's worth 25 percent of the seventh years' grade and it's due Monday."

"You'd mess with his academics?" Remus asked, looking alarmed.

"Lupin, he's the only son of a rich pureblood. He has no intention of working after school. This is simply a humiliation. We're not ruining some poor hard working student's future. Besides, if he checks his work he'll have all of Sunday to write a new one."

"But still…"

"Remus - he tried to knock James off his broom."

"Right."

The boy's continued on in silence. When they got to the Slytherin common room, the password of "fiendfyre" got them in. Blissfully, no one was in the common room, it being after 3 a.m.

"Are we under the lake?" Remus asked in a whisper.

Sirius nodded, scanning the dark room. Piled neatly on a table was what looked like several essays.

"I've got you, you bastard," Sirius said, spotting the one with Malfoy's name. He grabbed it and crumbled it up before shoving it in his pocket. He intended to burn in once they got back to the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Is that the squid?" Remus asked, watching as a huge shadow drifted by.

"Let's get out of here, Lupin," Sirius said.

When they were in the safety of Gryffindor Tower, Sirius ripped off the cloak.

"This is a whole new brand of warfare, Lupin," he told his friend as he threw the parchment in the dying fire. "That maggot won't even know what hit him."

"This feels more like sabotage than full-blown battle, underhanded and shrouded in secrecy," Remus said, and Sirius thought he was about to get a lecture. But instead, Lupin smiled. "Secrecy is something I do quite well."

And so the war went on.

/

Lily frowned and checked her watch. Severus was 15 minutes late for their scheduled rendezvous, and, it being a Monday, she didn't want to stay out the entire night.

Another five minutes passed and she was ready to leave when the door creaked open and his dark-haired head popped through.

"I'm sorry," he told her, closing the door gently. "Lucius called us all to a meeting."

"A meeting?" She wasn't sure what gave Lucius Malfoy such a right, but she decided not to ask. Sev looked harried enough without her starting in on him. "About what?"

"Apparently his Defense Against the Dark Arts essay went missing and he had nothing to turn in this morning. He was...displeased...to say the least."

"How could it go missing? Did someone steal his bag?" Lily asked, confused.

Sev shook his head. "He generally leaves his school things out on a specific table. He thinks someone stole his essay. I'm inclined to believe it probably just got knocked over by a passing body and picked up and tossed by an ignorant house elf."

"Well that does seem more logical," Lily agreed. "Though I can understand why he would be upset."

"Upset doesn't begin to cover it," Sev said, settling into a chair. "He was out for blood. I'm lucky I went to bed before him the last few nights, which he considered an alibi. I don't even want to know what he'll do if he finds out someone really did take it."

"I didn't realize he had such a temper," Lily commented lightly.

The boy sighed. "I suppose a good leader has to find ways to keep his subjects in line."

Again, Lily wondered about the politics of Slytherin house. "Enough about unpleasantness. I have something for you."

"For me?" He asked curiously.

She smiled and nodded. With a flourish, she revealed a jack'o'lantern she'd been hiding behind her back. The carving was an elaborate depiction of a wizard at a potions cauldron.

"Happy Halloween!" Halloween had always been a favorite holiday for the two friends.

A small smile crept onto his lips. "Where did you get such a big pumpkin?" He asked her.

She thought it better not to mention that Remus Lupin had introduced her to the groundskeeper so she could procure it. "My little secret," she said. "Do you like it?"

He looked over her work with a critical eye, as she knew he would. "Did you use a knife for this?"

She shook her head. "I look a stab at it with my wand. It came out rather neat, don't you think?"

"It's impeccable," he told her. "Thank you."

"I'm not sure how practical it would be to bring it back to the common room, so we could stick it with the other decorations in the Great Hall if you'd like," she told him. "You'd still know it really belongs to you."

"I like that idea," he told her. "A little secret we can share."

She was happy he was so pleased with the idea. It felt like they'd been drifting away from each other, but she'd found a way to steer it back, at least for now.


End file.
